death-is-a-simp

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Yurification

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I swear to god one of these days were going to see a video of Amaury Guichon and he's going to be making some wings and they are going to look dope as hell, the detail of each feather will be breathtaking, he'll spray paint them to perfection, but as the video goes on, he's not building any sort of winged creature, just the wings. And then there's a human-sized harness (also made of chocolate, somehow, he can do it). And he's attaching the wings to the harness. And he's putting the harness on and he demonstrates how he can flap the wings. And then he'll be off. Out the window and up and up and up. And we'll be looking at the livestream (it's a livestream now) and we'll scream "No, Amaury, the sun! It's going to melt the wings!". But he knows this already. And he is free.

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valgrace coded

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someone needs to stop him he’s getting too powerful

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Everyone thinks Jason wears a domino mask under his helmet for the drama of it, but the real reason is because one time he sneezed wearing the helmet and it was the worst experience of his life.

He immediately started making the most grossed out horrified noises the gang member he had tied up had ever heard, and Roy doubled over laughing, completely giving up the intimidation factor they had had going.

They ended up getting nothing out of the guy and Jason immediately went home and designed a domino so he could throw the helmet off at any given moment while still hiding his identity. Roy still laughs whenever he thinks about it

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TIm Drake has the energy of, "I never need to worry about getting appendicitis ever because yesterday I went to the doctor and they removed my appendix because I had appendicitis" and no I will not elaborate

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you WISH you were eating sweet mulberries from a stranger’s overgrown tree at twilight in a silent neighborhood

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I know that officially Doctor Mario is just Mario dressed as a doctor, but I choose to believe that he’s Mario from an alternate timeline because it’s the option that lends itself to shenanigans.

Doctor Mario: Welp gotta head home. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we’ve got an early flight to Delfino we have to catch

Mario:

Doctor Mario: Y’know most people follow that up with a little, ‘hey, happy anniversary’ or-

Mario: You’re married??

Doctor Mario:

Doctor Mario: You’re not????

Mario: No!! Who are you married to?????

Doctor Mario: To Tony!!!

Mario:

Doctor Mario:

Mario: WHO’S TONY??????

Doctor Mario: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO’S TONY’???????????

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Green eyes shouldn’t actually be considered an eye color. It’s just not common enough, it’s a VERY SMALL percentage of the population, 1-2%. Green eyes are also caused by an irregular mutation. Most people have blue or brown eyes, so those are the two eye colors.

All the “green eyes” positivity is actually a bad thing, by the way. Having green eyes is linked to higher rates of retinal melanoma. You’re celebrating something dangerous that can cause suffering.

And besides, most people with “green eyes” lean closer to blue or brown anyways. They should just make up their minds and be brown eyed or green eyed. And if it’s too hard to tell, they should get corrective surgery (because green eyes are dangerous, and associated with more difficult medical care!) or at the least wear contacts so they don’t confuse people. But also they should be required to

I hate to sound like this, but green eyes are a far more recent development than blue eyes in the mutagenic history of humans. So humans weren’t created to have green eyes.

And hazel eyes? Those are just a variant of brown eyes—come on, they’re far closer to brown than green. They just have a couple greenish traits. And there’s no way there’s that many green eyed people, or a wide variety of eye colors… It’s just not natural.

I don’t have a problem with green eyed people, they didn’t ask to be born that way—but there’s just too few of them for it to be an actual eye color. We don’t need all this “green eye positivity” or putting green eyes in media. The internet is making people delude themselves into thinking it’s more common than it really is.

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He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

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Selina: Say those three words and I’m yours.

Bruce: Those three words.

Selina:

Selina: I’ll take it.

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I’m gonna be honest, people pretending Bruce has an adoption addiction Is funny and all, but it’s starting to trick people into thinking he goes out searching for and wanting to put all these actual children in the line of danger when in reality they just sorta latch onto his leg while he stands there trying shake them off screaming “NO, I’M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN” ‘till he caves and teaches them jujitsu

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so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

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My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.

Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”

“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”

So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.

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what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT