death-is-a-simp

[death-is-a-simp]

I have a joke I wish I could use, but I am not transfem, so, transfems, I give unto you my cringe joke use it well:

Someone: So you're cis?

Response: No, I said I'm sis

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My Makeup Tutorial(eye and lip only):

1: Pick out eyeshadow colors in a gradient

2: Apply thick, lightest to darkest, starting on the inside corner

3: Blend outwards with a thick brush

4: Apply glittery right next to the upper eyelashes

5: Get black eyeshadow on a thin, angled brush and apply underneath eyes, going out to create a large wing, big enough so that if someone gets lost in your eyes, you can take them away and fly them to a better place, free from the troubles of this world, and take them on any adventure so great that they forget about the hardships of what once was, freeing them of responsibilities and cares, only thoughts of what incredible things they can have away from the pains of modern life, that they might live out what used to be fantasy, but now can be reality

6: Apply lip liner and a waterproof gloss on lips

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Batfamily physical affection:

So, here is my opinions:

Bruce: A pat or hand on the shoulder or head, just the reassurance that he's there and that they are doing good, just like his father used to.

Alfred: Tucking people in at night and just putting blankets on people.

Dick: Aggressive hugging and just holding on to the person that has been deemed the target. Also little head kisses with a loud "MWAH" after each one.

Cass: Head pats, receiving and giving.

Jason: An arm around the shoulders and leaning against, both ways.

Tim: Casual hand holding and sitting close to the person, parallel play is where it is at.

Steph: Tackle hugs and shared space, unless told explicitly not to, will be practically on top of people.

Duke: Side hugs, lots of side hugs. Sees someone he hasn't seem in awhile? side hug, friend meet ups? side hug, just standing around on patrol, side hug.

Damian: Just being together, will allow affection from some people, but prefers to give through animals

If you want to add more to what's there or more people that I didn't say, please do!

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I bet you that the Flash has repeatedly decided to entertain kids by acting like a stop-motion by speeding between positions and freezing for a moment before moving again.

Everyone loves it.

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[The Watchtower. The Flash is relaxing in a common area, sprawled chaotically across a couch and munching on a high-calorie protein bar. Green Lantern approaches from the side, pushing away Flash's legs so he can flop down beside him. The Flash quickly finishes his bar, then spitefully brings his feet back up to rest on Lantern's lap.]

Hal: I’m getting real sick of Spooky giving me heart attacks, man.

Barry: What happened to being “always vigilant”?

Hal: I am! It’s not my fault he’s the scariest dude alive!

Bruce: [Appearing out of nowhere] Just be grateful you haven’t dealt with my kids.

Hal: WHAT THE F—

Barry: Your kids?

Barry: I always thought they were more…

Barry: sociable

Bruce: [gives him a tiny grin, looking something between smug and amused]

Hal: Hang on, I feel like I missed a chapter — Spooky has kids???

Barry: Keep up, Lantern

Hal: You cannot in good conscience tell me to “keep up,” you’re literally a speedster—

Barry: So, wait — if you’re not the scariest guy alive, then who is?

Bruce:

Bruce: Depends on who you ask

—————————

[Cut to an Office-style confessional with all of The Batman’s sons. Each is interviewed in a different location, and required varying levels of convincing in order to participate.]

—————————

Dick: [Upside-down, in the middle of doing a workout on gymnastics rings. He wears a thoughtful expression as he holds a handstand, making it look effortless.]

Dick: The scariest one of us?

Dick: Well, I guess… probably Tim. His morals aren’t exactly... clear.

Dick: Not to mention the fact that he literally stalked us for years as an untrained, civilian child without anyone noticing.

Dick:

Dick: Actually, I’m pretty sure he still does.

—————————

Jason: [In his apartment, arms crossed and seated on an outdated-looking couch. There is flipped and scattered furniture all around him, and he holds close a copy of Pride and Prejudice. Its cover is spattered with blood.]

Jason: You really broke in just for this shit?

Jason: Fuckin’, me, obviously.

Jason:

Jason: But, if I had to pick someone else…

Jason: [Sighs]

Jason: [mumbling] Demon Brat.

—————————

Tim: [Sitting at a large desk in his office at WE, wearing an expensive suit. His tie is loose and his eyes are dark-rimmed, and papers are stacked all around him in a messy, yet organized fashion. He was woken up from a nap for this, despite the fact that a mug of coffee is sitting to his right and several discarded energy drinks can be seen behind him.]

Tim: I mean, I don’t think any of us are particularly scary anymore. Like, we all have similar skill sets and abilities, and there are contingencies for if anyone goes rogue.

Tim: [smirking] Plus, you don’t just stalk the “world’s greatest detectives” completely unnoticed and feel intimidated by them — I know way too much for that.

Tim: [sighs] So, if we’re going by my standards? Couldn’t tell ya. But if we go by sheer intimidation-factor to outsiders, then it’s probably Jason.

Tim: Like, sure, Batman has his whole schtick, but plenty of Gotham has been around the block by now and knows he won’t kill people. But the Red Hood? He made his debut with a duffle bag of severed heads.

Tim: [shrugs] I hate to say it, but that’s pretty badass.

—————————

Damian: [Sitting in a plush chair in Wayne Manor, looking poised. The fireplace is flickering picturesquely behind him, and Titus sits faithfully at his feet. The scene is incredibly photogenic compared to the others.]

Damian: Tt. What a pointless question to ask — the entire purpose of our training is to ensure we are all equally intimidating. But I suppose I will entertain the thought.

Damian: Grayson, as the heir to Batman’s mantle, is the obvious answer. He is highly skilled in combat, deductive reasoning, and, of course, acrobatics. He is confident, competent, and a strong leader.

Damian: [grinning smugly] Of course, even if this was not the case, it would still be an easy conclusion to reach, given his competition. Drake is weak and Todd is soft, therefore giving Richard the clear advantage.

—————————

Alfred: [Calmly preparing dinner, chopping vegetables with speed and precision. He is nonchalant and does not look up as he gives his response.]

Alfred: While I would be happy to entertain the question, I am afraid if I were to answer honestly, I would have to say none of them.

Alfred: [smirking faintly] The boys are all very well-accomplished, of course — but it is my opinion that the “scariest” one in the family cannot be anyone other than Miss Cassandra.

Alfred: After all, stealth is the key to startling one’s peers, and she has mastered it thoroughly.

—————————

—alternate response from Tim—

Tim: Oh, definitely Dick, but probably not for the reason people think.

Tim: Like, sure, he started before he hit double-digits, but I figured out who Batman was at that age, so it’s not really that impressive. And, yeah; original Boy Wonder, successor to Batman, Tamer of the Demon’s Heir— all great for the resume. But the real reason he’s the scariest?

Tim: [shudders]

Tim: He went to therapy.

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THis is important

[death-is-a-simp]

So, hear me out:

When Dick was originally taken in, it was interesting, but people got over it as time passed and new gossip came out.

But then Jason was adopted, and everyone was like, hey, orphaned, black haired, blue eyed, small child, can't be a coincidence, and it started kind of a joke among people, mainly kids and upper class adults.

This made it so it was common place to joke about 'risk factors' for getting 'Bruced'. People would say when someone dyed their hair black that the risk went up, or look at someone with blue eyes and say "any day now" people with long dead parents would say they are just waiting for the call.

Tim's classmates didn't find it as funny a few years later, though.

[death-is-a-simp]

Contrary to popular belief, a pinky promise is actually a sign of a mutual lie, miss trust, or a pact against truth, as it is two people coming together to cross their fingers, which is known to be a way of saving oneself from the repercussions of lieing