#dp x dc incorrect quotes

[hugsandchaos]

Dc x Dp

There’s a short video of a scare prank and there’s two guys being scared. One bolts off running, notices his buddy is frozen in place, goes back, picks him up, and keeps running. I keep seeing that as Danny and Tucker or a coworker of Danny encountering Bruce Wayne knowing his adoption addiction.

Bruce: *turns the corner*

Danny and Tucker: !!!

Tucker: *turns around and runs*

Danny: ...

Bruce: Is your friend alri--

Tucker: *runs back, picks up Danny, and fucking sprints*

[disaster-catalyst]

The Justice League : Any more emotional truth bombs you want to drop on us?

The trauma-dumping ghost child that will not leave the watchtower : Not right now.

[zylev-blog]

Danny and Jazz were forced to go to a gala with Vlad. During the gala, the Joker and Harley Quinn decided to prey on the rich.

Danny: Quick, Jazz, make a distraction.

Jazz: *immediately turning to the person beside her* I was just thinking how I would make the perfect American president based upon my skill set, dance ability, and bloodlust.

Dick, who was trying to slip out of the room: *intrugued* how does your dance ability make you a good president?

Jazz: I am so glad you asked.

Ten minutes later, she manages to distract Dick, Damian, and Steph. Bruce is not happy about this.

[amaramizuki666]

I have been pulled from the depths of my hibernation by this post. And now y'all should know my drill. I'm making this DP x DC baby.

Anyway

_________

Tim opened his door to see what looked to be a underweight preteen. The boy looked to be the personification of a wet cat. "Do you need something kid?" Tim's asks and leans aginst the door frame. Tim raked his eyes across the kid, he had ice blue eyes and black hair 'he looks like adoption bait'.

"I know what you are" the kid says. Tim raises a brow 'is this kid with the paparazzi or something?'. Tim tilts his head and tired smile on his lips "oh, Do you now?".

The kid with an all to serious expression lifts up a photo... of him.... as Red Robin climbing into his apartments window 'well fuck'.

Tim grabbed the kid by the wrist and pulled him into his apartment "so what do you want?" Tim asks cearfully, grabbing his coffee mug and nursing it as he stared the kid down.

Tim dosnt want to come off as threatening, but he won't just let the bratt expose him. "So you are Red Robin?" The kid says, not in a way that makes him seem unsure of himself, but like in the way he wants to hear it from Tim's lips.

"You can't prove it" Tim says calmly sipping his coffee. Tim knows he basically just conformed it, but he could tell the kid already knew.

The little shit gave Tim a wide smirk and pulled a manila folder, out of... somewhere? And hands it to him. Tim takes it, sets down his coffee, and opens it. Inside are a few dozen pictures of Tim, some were his mask is off while he is still in suite.

"Ok you got me, so what do you want?" Tim says slightly impressed, he is getting flashbacks to his younger years of chasing Batman and Robin with his camera.

"I'm going to be your sidekick" The kid says firmly. Tim's jaw drops. It feels like he is blue-screening. 'Is this how Bruce felt?' "Ok" The word left Tim's lips before he even relized.

The kid stuck out his hand "it's a pleasure doing business with you, I'm danny". 'You know what fuck it, this is my kid now' Tim smirked tiredly, taking Danny's hand (his ice cold hand) in a firmly grip "Guess we need to pick out a name for your then".

Danny's grin grows showing too many teeth "i already have one, is go by Phantom"

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I also think this would be hilarious if danny is actually older than Tim but is stuck as a sad meow meow because he stopped aging after he died, and ge saw Red Robin, practically on his own and most of the support he was receiving was from other teens, and deciding, no, no kid should be without adult support.

Danny wished he had someone to watch his Back besides his freinds and sister, sure they helped a lot, but he feels he would have been better off with an adult mentor (shut up vald you were never his mentor, just a creepy fruitloop).

And if Red Robin thinks he's a kid, all the better, it should make him less reckless if he thinks he has a kid to watch out for.

[satoshy12]

Happy Jazz = no Dan, Hurt Jazz = WE HAVE DAN!

Booster Gold". I command you to make Arkham safe! The future of creation depends on it!" Batman:" What?" Booster Gold:" Do you know the horror I and other time travellers experienced just a few days ago, for the key to the beginning of the end of all things is in Arkham?" Flash:" Stop, stop, what are you talking about?" Booster Gold: "I saw Dan! His sister is an intern at Arkham, what do you think will happen if she gets hurt or worse, killed by them?" The other time travellers all stop and look at Booster Gold: "If this is some more of you crying wolf to scare us!" Booster Gold:" NO! I LEARNED MY LESSON AFTER 2 TIMES! I CAN EVEN PROVE IT, LOOK!!" Shows them a picture on his phone that he took of Dan. Ted: "He's telling the truth about Dan for once… Wait! YOU SAID ARKHAM! BATMAN!!"

Batman pulls out phone:" On it….. Done. She will now be interning at Wayne Child Psychiatry."

Time traveller:" Good!" League:" So, you will now Tell us about that. Dan Person?"

Extra.

A few weeks later

Booster Gold:" Even worse problems! She turns out to be dating Red Hood!" Time Traveller:" Can't she just stay safe!"

[the-b1ah]

Part 1 of you can’t bench me!

Context:

Phantom and Red Hood have now been seen patrolling together pretty frequently. Ever since Phantom was introduced to the batfam he also pops over to say hi to the others.

They haven’t seen him in a couple days but Red Hood doesn’t seem worried though he won’t answer anyones questions.

———

Phantom: I just wanted some ✨✨me time

Spoiler: BULLSHIT!

Red Robin: red hood def benched his ass to do school. Watch out he’s turning into B

Spoiler: ha! Soon we’ll catch hoodie running around in bat ears saying shit like “I am the night ”

———

RR to phantom: quit your school join my emo vigilante gang (young justice)

—-

Mastserlist! | The origin | part 2

[hello-eden]

Tim: Your friends with all of your rogues? 

Danny: Yes almost all why, are you not?

Jason & Dick: NO

Danny: Skill issue

[starry-bi-sky]

Stillborn danyal al ghul au incorrect quotes - dpxdc au

Vlad and Danny, fighting for the nth time this month: Danyal, exhausted: hey if i call you dad will you like. Stop. I have a test tomorrow. Vlad, has a parental bone in EVERY part of his body: *immediately stopping* Vlad: What do you mEAN YOU HAVE A TEST. WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT-- Danny: BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL DR. FENTON AGAIN, VLADIMIR.

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Danny, flopping into bed facefirst: i need sleep or rehab. again Tucker (maybe?? I haven't decided yet who he's friends with): i thought you were clean Danny, into a pillow: not if this keeps up.

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Tucker: favorite superhero go Sam: Wonder Woman Danny: the Flash Tucker: Okay Sam's is obvious but, Danny I would've thought you'd say like, Martian Manhunter or Superman or Starfire. But Flash?? Danny: i had a foster in Central City for a few years and met him, he's a really nice guy. He made me promise to invite him to my high school graduation and is part of the reason I made it to rehab and ended up getting rehomed and picked up by the Fentons. Danny: I have a hoodie with his logo on it in my closet, i saved up to buy it and its the first thing I got with the allowance the Fentons got me

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Danny wearing three layers and a scarf in the middle of summer: *shivering* Sam: how are you cold you're literally made of lava Danny, hissing: lava cools at contact with the air and I'm trying to keep my body temperature at a reasonable level, SAM. Tucker, touching Danny: you feel warm to me Danny: to YOU

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Danny:...i could eat lava Tucker: Sam: Danny: Tucker: do it. no balls Danny, getting up: bET--

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Danny: Dash: The Both Of Them: *under the bleachers to smoke/vape* Danny, smokes: I wont tell if you won't tell Dash, vapes: ....deal

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Danny, breaking into Vlad's lab: YOU FUCKER QUIT-- what the hell is that Vlad, working on his newest invention: Language. ....And it's something I'm working on, go away Danny: what? no, fuck you. You're trying to kill Jack again and this looks interesting. I was gonna come beat you but now I'm curious what the hell this is (Vlad spends a good hour explaining what he's doing before they start arguing and Danny starts a fight)

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Danny laying on the ground staring the ceiling, feeling like shit: Jazz, popping by his room: ,,,what'cha doing, Danny? Danny: Danny, internally: 'Jazz says i should be more open' Danny: considering the benefits of relapsing Jazz, immediately stepping into the room: oh okay so lets talk.

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Danny, meeting Robin as Phantom for the first time unaware of his identity and his own birthright: Robin: Phantom: Phantom: fuck you Robin, a 12 year old: fUCK YOU

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Vlad: Jack Fenton iced me out of my early adulthood and got you, his foster son, killed by his own invention. He is a danger to society and I personally want him dead. Danny: okay, cool motive still murder. Danny, louder: I DONT NEED YOU TO TAKE REVENGE ON MY BEHALF

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Vlad, grabbing Danny's shoulders: aren't you tired of being nice Danny: Vlad: don't you want to go apeshit Danny, in the american foster system since infancy, was in rehab at 11 years old, has been fucked over metaphorically, emotionally, physically, ten times over: Danny: i feel like we need to have a talk

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DP/Regular DPDC Vlad: *gripping by the shoulders* DPDC Vlad: how Stillborn Vlad: what DP/DC Vlad: how are you getting him to like you. Stillborn Vlad:,,, well first off i don't torture him so jot that down Stillborn Vlad: second of all, like is a strong word. Stillborn Vlad: Daniel only likes me on tuesdays and when i show him how to make fireballs

[thewanderingconstellation]

dcxdp chat prompt?

Danny: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’

Danny: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Damian: ...How do you know that? And why are you speaking as if you've done it multiple times already..?

Danny: ...Shit

____________________________________

Damian: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Danny: Wow. They sound stupid.

Damian: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Danny: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Damian: I guess you’re right. Hey Danny, I love you.

Danny: See! Just say that!

Damian: Holy fucking shit.

Danny: If that flies over their head then, sorry Damian, but they're too dumb for you.

Damian: Danny.

____________________________________

Bruce: Jason, you need to calm down.

Jason, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

____________________________________

Dick: What are you drinking?

Jason: Vodka.

Dick: Straight?

Jason: No, gay. Why?

____________________________________

Damian , about Danny: Can I tell them they look nice?

Dick: Sure.

Damian: Can I tell them I respect them?

Dick: Maybe, if they ask.

Damian: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

Dick: ...

Dick: I’d save that for later.

____________________________________

Tim: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Dick: We were helping Bruce write his vows, but he kicked us out because Jason was making inappropriate suggestions.

Jason: How is “Selina, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

____________________________________

Steph: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Bernard. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Bernard!

Tim: Nope.

Steph: In that case, as the archbishop of Tim's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Bernard right on the lips!!!

____________________________________

Tim: I can't imagine what Jason is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

[demonic0angel]

As Batman is fighting some criminals:

Criminal: *looking behind Batman* Ha! Finally called for backup, have you?

Batman: Who—?

Mysterious voice behind him: Go white man, go!!

Batman: *sigh* … it’s Danny.

[king4queenv]

Red Hood was bleeding out in an alley after a bust gone wrong, and Jazz was kneeling next to him, trying to stop the bleeding.

Jazz: “Quick, what’s your type?”

Red Hood: “Tall redheads who can break me in half.”

Jazz: “...”

Jazz: “Cute, but I meant your blood type.”

Red Hood: “Oh... um... red.”

He proceeds to pass out.

[hugsandchaos]

Headcanon/Prompt for Dc x Dp

One of the main reasons (probably going to become the main reason) Danny doesn’t trust Wayne or Batman or the Batfamily in general is because he can smell the Lazarus waters on them, which is tainted/infected ectoplasm. I think you can guess what conclusions he’d jump to with that.

As a side note, the smell is only noticeable to him since it’s something he’s had to clean up a lot in his parent’s lab for a couple years or more, so even a little bit is enough for him to know what’s nearby. There’s always a hint or a bunch of the smell coming from the Batfamily, depending on how much they’ve used it and how recently.

Superman: I don’t understand. Why don’t you trust Wayne?

Danny: *glaring suspiciously at him* That man reeks of dirty ectoplasm.

[zylev-blog]

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Danny: How do you eat pickles?

Dick: What do you mean?

Danny: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Dick: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Danny B: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Dick: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Dick: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Danny: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Dick: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Danny: *Nods in agreement*

Jason: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Danny: Jeez, okay.

Dick: Quit yelling at us already.

[oldfangirl81]

"What do you call a skeleton in a closet?" Asked Clark trying to break the ice of the Kent and Wayne family dinner.

"Their name, everyone comes out in their own time."

"I ain't no snitch. Not telling you their name."

"What was the cause of death?"

"Why was it in the closet?"

"Spooky Scary Skeleton."

"I plead the fifth."

"What are you, a cop?"

"Friend."

Clark sighed, "A hide and seek winner."

[satoshy12]

Cass looked at her baby:" So why is our Baby flying Danny." Danny:" I am something like a Meta." Cass nodded her head." Okay, now bring the baby down." The Batfamily just looked, well that is Cass for you just accept it.

[the-b1ah]

Part 4 of You can’t bench me!

God I wish I could punch people instead of studying for exams. So close to the end yet so far ;-; . If you see spelling errors no you didn’t

Context:

Phantom has officially given up on his homework and joined the flock in fighting crime. How are you going to dad your way through this situation Red Hood? The rest of the batfamily is pulling out the popcorn for the inevitable meltdown and fight.

————————————————————

Red Robin: spinnn 🪩✨ ✨ bonk!!

Phantom: I have a gun and imma to make it everyone’s problem !!!!

————————————————————

Phantom: No. >:(

Red hood: …

RR&spoiler: OoOOOOooo someone’s in trouuuuubleeeeee!!!

Robin: what an idiot

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Masterlist! | Origin | part 3 | part 5