#bro is dissociating so hard

[rocketbirdie]

when i was replaying remake i laughed at that high five tifa/barret/cloud scene because all i could think was "oh no, he hasn't learned how to high five yet"

i'd never noticed that scene before and i almost choked when i saw him just🧍‍♂️while tifa couldn't possibly make it more obvious

[unstablemotions]

people: you need to get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist!!!

psychiatrists: *misdiagnosed me with different things like +4 times and filled me with unnecessary medicine*

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

It's not possible to have PTSD and DID, they are mutually exclusive. Jesus christ I hope you can find help because from an outsider's perspective you are well, WELL off the deep end when it comes to coping mechanisms for whatever is going on and I don't think you even realize it.

WHAT????? Anon, what.. are you on and literally where did you get this info??

This is the most ridiculously stupid thing that I've ever heard. Have you EVER even looked this up, talked to literally any medical professionals at all??? Trauma, PTSD, etc. is literally a requirement to have DID.

what do you think DID and PTSD are??

[yellowyarn]

i think my brains broken

[hoshifighting]

Hii so like could you either each member reaction or a drabble with woozi (whatever you're more comfortable writing) being sub and you riding them/him and making them cum over and over until they are milked up dry and cannot physically cum anymore

riding seventeen until they cant physically cum anymore (getting milked dry)

WARNINGS: smut, strong overstimulation, cock riding, sensitive content, may not be comfortable to some audiences, you're warned.

seungcheol: starts giggling. not in a “haha that tickles” way but in an “i am so fucked out of my mind i don’t even know what’s happening anymore” way. GETS IN DENIAL TOO!!. like, he’s still gripping your hips, trying to thrust up into you even though his dick is not responding. “no, i can—i can go again, baby, just—just gimme a sec—” except it’s been five minutes, and all he’s done is twitch pathetically underneath you. when you tell him he’s done, he gets all pouty, brows furrowed, whispering, “fuck… you really drained me dry?” like he just realized he isn’t the tank he thought he was.

jeonghan: not even moving anymore. fully limp, sprawled out, arms above his head, legs twitching, eyes hazy as he blinks at the ceiling. broken. defeated. ruined. you squeeze him and there’s nothing—just a weak, pitiful little tremor. “honey, i think you killed me,” he mutters, voice raspy as hell, before exhaling real deep, like he just finished a marathon. gives up completely, just lays there, blinking at you like you just rewired his entire system.

joshua: on the verge of tears. whimpering. shaking. clinging. you try to grind down on him again, but his hips jolt so hard, you swear he’s about to short-circuit. “baby—oh my god—i cant—icanticanticanticanicant” and it’s the most broken, high-pitched plea you’ve ever heard. his hands weakly push at your thighs, but they have no strength.

junhui: prob laughing in disbelief. giggling, eyes red and watery, his head lolled to the side, looking at you with this dazed-ass grin. “oh my god, i’m so done,” he breathes, chest heaving, abs clenching, still twitching with aftershocks. you grind down just a little, just to test, and his whole body spasms, a wrecked whimper escaping him before he laughs even harder, shaking his head like, “nah, babe, you actually ended me. oh? i cant feel my legs? ”

hoshi: BRO IS CLINGING FOR LIFE. good luck with the bruises, because he is full-on latching onto you, fingers digging into your skin, forehead pressed to your shoulder, legs raising in desperate spasms all the time, entire body trembling. “baby, baby, i—i can’t—oh my god—i swear~~~” his voice sooooo broken, and every time his dick twitches uselessly, he lets out the softest little sob, hiding his face in your neck like he’s so embarrassed that you just milked him out of existence.

wonwoo: completely unresponsive. eyes glazed over. mouth open. chest barely rising. looks like he just got hit by a bus. his arms are flopped uselessly at his sides, and when you move, his thighs twitch involuntarily. you squeeze around him and nothing happens—no pulse, no twitch, just nothing. “holy fuck,” he mutters like he just got his soul snatched straight out of his body.

woozi: shaking like a fucking leaf. wrists trembling, legs trembling, hands trembling, chin trembling, abs trembling, breath completely uneven, looking up at you like you just broke him beyond repair. “b-baby, i—i don’t have anything left—” and his voice cracks so hard, you actually feel a little bad. he tries to lift his hips, tries to respond to you, but his body refuses, and when you tell him it’s over, he just collapses back against the sheets. he's not a biiiig fan of aftercare, but that night, he will accept everything you can to repair his pieces together.

minghao: fully dissociating. bro is just staring at the ceiling, chest heaving, hands twitching, looking like he just had an out-of-body experience. you say his name and it takes him five full seconds to even register it. you squeeze around him, testing, and his head instantly tilts back, a wrecked groan falling from his lips, but there’s nothing left. “nah, that’s it, babe,” he breathes, completely spent, just laying there in absolute surrender.

mingyu: whimpering so much, you actually think he might start crying. clinging onto you, lips trembling, eyes wet, entire body twitching. “i—i can’t cum anymore—...?” and his voice breaks mid-sentence, you don't even know if its an affirmation or a quesiton bc he literally can’t. when you try to grind down one more time, his hips buck so hard, he yells, then collapses back, panting, eyes rolling back into his head.

seokmin: fully overstimulated beyond belief. whimpering, shaking, eyes glassy, hands weakly grabbing at your hips like he’s trying to slow you down but has no strength left. “b-baby, please—!!!” when you finally stop, he physically melts into the bed, body slack, chest heaving, just laying there shaking and completely ruined.

seungkwan: full-body twitching. thighs shaking, abs twitching, arms weakly draped over his face, hiding his wrecked expression. “fuck, baby, i’m—i’m done—” he gasps, his voice hoarse as hell, sounding like he just ran up a mountain. when you finally let him go, he just lets out the deepest, shakiest sigh, body going completely slack.

vernon: completely unresponsive part 2. bro is just laying there, eyes blank, mouth slightly open, looking like he just got his entire EXISTENCE reset. you say his name, and nothing. you touch his thigh, and nothing. when he finally blinks, he just tilts his head towards you, chest still rising and falling rapidly “you actually fucked me dry.”

chan: thought he could handle it but by the fourth orgasm, he was whimpering, “no more, no more—”, so now, he is completely silent. doesn’t even try to talk, just stares at you, mouth slightly open, eyes red form crying. he just lays there, staring at you like you just fried his last brain cell.

[autumnmobile12]

Natsuo is more like his father than he wants to admit...and it is both tragic and unsettling.

Disclaimer: Not a criticism of Natsuo. I actually like this character. It is just a comparison study and a commentary of actions vs reactions. Natsuo is NOT a bad person for any of his choices.

He does what he wants without regard for what the people around him want.

Sure, he'll go along with certain requests, like going to the family dinner because Fuyumi asked him to.

However, rather than be a polite host, he decides he'd rather embarrass his sister by being angry at their father all through said dinner and making things awkward for their guests. He didn't have to be there. Whoever he's talking to on the phone after the fact, maybe the girlfriend, he apologizes for bailing on their plans. He didn't even have to white-lie to Fuyumi. He straight up had other plans that night. So there are two ways you could look at this:

He conceded to a request to support his sister...then half-assed it.

Or he canceled his plans and went out of his way to be a prick.

He's not wrong for hating his father, that is 100% a normal reaction to an abusive parent, but he is wrong for not establishing his own concrete boundaries or respecting Fuyumi's.

Like Endeavor, Natsuo is pretty isolated within the family.

Mom’s out of the picture and contact with her is limited.

We all know what his relationship with his father is like.

His closest sibling 'died' when they were kids, but even then, Touya and Natsuo's relationship wasn't a good one. We know Touya spent years trauma-dumping on Natsuo, and little bro took it like a champ. Supporting one's siblings like that is admirable, but it does highlight a key difference between the brothers. Touya has memories of a happy childhood with their father. Natsuo does not. So he had to listen to his older brother crying for a past he knows nothing about, which had to have brought on a little resentment. "At least Dad loved you once. I never even got that much."

As stated above, Natsuo doesn't see eye to eye with Fuyumi. At least not enough that he respects her decision to forgive their father. Whether he supports that decision or not, he should love his sister more than he hates their father, and starting shit unprovoked over a dinner she asked him to be at is not a supportive decision.

His relationship with Shouto is hard to gauge. They were raised apart, sure, but they lived in the same house. So the fact that he didn't know Shouto's favorite food until he was fifteen is...odd. Natsuo never tried to have a conversation with him in passing? But I have a theory about that. With how Shouto behaved in the very beginning of the series, the mirror-image of their arrogant father, I think Natsuo had a, “Fuck, now there’s two of them," moment and actively avoided association with his younger brother. This may have contributed to him moving out even though he attends a college that's close enough that that he can casually stop by for dinner.

He Actually Does Get Violent.

Not with other people, thankfully, but he does slam his fist against the door in this scene, which is an act of aggression.

This makes for an intense moment in animation, sure, but if you saw a person do this in real life, you’d be nervous about where that fist is going next.

I already went over this in the Endeavor analysis that I made a few months back, but the gist of it is taking out your anger on inanimate objects is unhealthy because you're training your brain to associate anger with violence, which has the potential to make it harder to dissociate in the long run.

In his own way, he did abandon his family.

Fuyumi tells him to leave the family circumstances to her....and he just left her to it? She went to college to become a teacher and made a career work in spite of living in a volatile home. The series doesn't say where Natsuo is a student at, but he clearly lives close enough to home that he can drop by for a visit, so it's not like he went to some prestigious university out of town.

So yeah. Left his remaining brother and sister to their father.

The other point, though, is he's canonically studying medical welfare.

Medical welfare is the consideration of patient wellbeing, preserving individual dignity, promoting quality of life, and taking a holistic approach to healthcare that applies mental and emotional care to a patient, not just physical.

So it's ironic this is where his brother ends up and he says absolutely nothing about it. Nothing about promising to come see him, nothing about asking the staff if this really the best arrangement they could come up with, no promises to Touya that he'll figure something out. He just ghosts and, like their father, that is really hypocritical.

In the end, he puts his own hate and feelings above everyone else’s.

This one's pretty closely related to my first point, but it does bear reiterating for the finale. Natsuo's decision to never see his father again is ultimately going to hurt his family more than it's going to spite Endeavor.  Going no-contact is a healthy choice and I don’t fault him for it at all.  But if he sticks to it, it’s going to lead to some serious ramifications down the road.

If he's strict enough to refuse to be in the same vicinity as Endeavor:

He won’t attend Touya’s funeral and support his grieving mother and siblings if Endeavor will be there.

Since we see in the epilogue Rei stays with Endeavor, Natsuo visiting her is going to be complicated.

If Fuyumi gets married, she might want her father at the wedding. Is Natsuo going to skip his sister’s wedding out of spite?

If Shouto gets married and decides to let their father be there, same story.

If Endeavor outlives Rei, will Natsuo miss her funeral?

And finally, Natsuo might have to come to terms with the fact his own children may want to meet their grandfather, which is a decision he can only control until they’re legal adults.  He can tell them how much of a monster Endeavor was all he wants, but those kids may still be curious about meeting the man in person, especially if they hear stories from other family members and know the former No. 2 and No. 1 is their grandfather.

I’m not saying Natsuo should forgive Endeavor, or even stop being angry with him because he has every right to his anger. But if he still wants a relationship with the rest of the family, he is going to have to exercise some form of compromise.  Especially with his children because he unfortunately has all the hallmarks to become the next Kotaro Shimura. This is a society where kids want to be heroes, and then there's Natsuo who has a history with the dark side of hero society, no matter the good Shouto does.

[r0ttencandies]

Masky/Tim wright, general and nsfw hc’s!

Tw: gore/blood , stalking, dissociation, degradation, cum.. a lot of cum talk, marking, bdsm pushing, cnc, sexually paise, knife play, just freaky shit.

Tim sfw hc’s:

Definitely a chain smoker, going through atleast a pack a day.. upwards to 3 if incredibly stressed. (He prefers menthol)

Has a slight southern accent.

He’s a decently clean guy, keeping his home minimalist and avoids clutter. Everything neatly tucked away, each item having its own assigned spot.

He primarily listens to grunge music or country, just plain dad rock is his shit though.

He put on a constant ‘strong’ guy act, always taking care of everyone else, especially on mission. He’ll handle all the dirty work, acting like it doesn’t phase him (it does.)

Due to dissociation and forgetting what happens whenever he is masky, he isn’t even aware he works for slenderman /the operator. He’s aware of the man’s existence and hates him, actively trying to go against him.

He gets sick very easily, outside of the operator. Constantly catching colds due to overworking himself, but he recovers quickly as he just takes as much medicine as possible.

He drives in a beat up as suv, the paints chipped and covered in multiple dips.. he doesn’t give a shit.

He loves cooking and is pretty good at it, something he’s passionate about

He loves the fall, hates getting sunburned. (THAT BOY WHITE AS HELL)

He’s definitely a beer guy, he’ll take a coffee sometimes, always adding a bit of cream.

Keeps most mental challenges in his head. He sees a therapist regularly but only tells them the basics just enough to keep himself on medication.

Tim finds it hard to be in relationships, especially when it comes to talking about things that bother him.

Now on the other hand if he’s with a partner who’s understanding and patient he’s a straight lover boy.

He’s constantly buying his partners gifts and always helping them with task, it’s how he shows if love, if not praising and worshipping you lol.

He keeps a schedule, never really breaking it. (If it breaks, he’s not sleeping until everything is in order, though he already struggles with sleeping due to hallucinations and seizures.)

Covered in multiple different scars.. deep ones at that, he’s completely unaware where they came from.

If he does something bad to you as masky (sexual or not) he’s profusely apologizing and trying to make up for it.

Tim NSFW hc’s:

HES COVERED IN HAIR, happy trail, arm hair, chest hair.. he’s just a hairy boy (though he keeps his pubic hair nicely trimmed, keeping it clean.

Yk how I said he’s clean? He definitely isn’t in bed. His favorite thing to do with you is covering you in his cum, whether it’s in you or on.. he doesn’t care, he wants it to drip all down your sensitive skin.

He’s about 7 inches long, whatever you think he’s lacking in inches he’s got in girth, Atleast 4.5 inches around. He’s circumcised, with a bulbous tan tip.

He loves receiving, throat fucking you until he’s covered in drool and your eyes a swollen from crying.

He’s definitely a switch, though he is dominant leaning, enjoying making you squirm and beg, whether if it’s to his fingers, cock or toys he’ll used on you, he doesn’t care. He finds it adorable.

He loves foreplay, making you more needy for him is incredibly attractive to him.

He’s big on consent and always making sure you’re okay with everything.

He loves marking you, claiming you as his. Covering your chest, neck and thighs with bites and kisses.

He has a preference for any position he can see your face in, praising you the entire time.

He hates degrading (when he’s in the masky state this is different)

“You’re so pretty, hun. Taking me so well, aren’t you?”

A soft dom 100% (you always crave to his dominance though.

Thigh guy, but loves everything else.

Bros kinda a masochist when submissive.

He tends to snap out of it after multiple orgasms, noticing the mess and freaking out about it. He’ll rush to grab towels, and throw dirty sheets in the wash. ( almost forgetting about aftercare, that’s how much he’ll panic.)

His way of giving you aftercare is showering you in kisses, making you a warm meal and taking a shower with you, washing your body and hair.

Masky sfw hc’s:

He’s selectively mute in this state.

He’s genuinely so messy it’s not even funny (Tim hates this, thinking someone else did it)

He’s kinda a stalker, breaking into people’s homes in the middle of the night and just stares. (If he’s attracted to you, he’s admiring you, imagining being with you.)

He’s very aggressive and very strong, capable of lifting up to 400 pounds.

Masky is even more isolated in that mask, only being around the other proxies when needed.

Him and Toby have a brotherly relationship despite their differences and disagreements.

Masky never really feels too much physical pain, his brain just learned to numb it (this kicks Tim in the ass later on)

When he’s in this mindset, the word sleep doesn’t exist as he continues to roam around the forest even after mission.

He also doesn’t feel much emotional unless it’s obsession, anger or just plain blood thirsty.

Masky enjoys the act of murder and is fascinated by organs

Sometimes he loses his shit and just starts stabbing trees or throws shit.

He’s very careless with himself, barely eating or drinking.

Masky nsfw hc’s:

Yk how I said he loves to bite as Tim, well it’s worse in this state. He’ll break skin, sucking out a bit of the blood and enjoys the sensation of your muscles tensing and the taste of your sweet red fluid.

His favorite position as masky is doggy, he loves spanking you until your ass is bloodied from the friction and force of his hand.

HE LOVES PULLING YOUR HAIR AS WELL!! Pushing your head up towards him so he can hear your sweet moans closely.

This man’s stamina is crazy, going multiple rounds (definitely out lasting Tim.. )

If he’s doing his daily stalking, and if he’s obsessed with you (he most likely is) he’ll get turned on by your peacefully sleeping form, pawing at his cover length until he’s cumming in his pants.

If your his partner, he’s not asking for permission, he’s taking what he wants (he knows you’ll let him)

Not submissive in the slightest.

He’s a massive sadist, fucking you until you’re complete ruined with tears, your body sore and limp, and covered in blood and bruises.

Foreplay is almost nonexistent, he’ll play with your clit while fucking you though, just to insure you’re a bit cumming for him.

Degrading king

“Such a dirty slut, taking my dick like your life depends on it.”

He gets a sick kick out of placing knifes against your skin, making you fearful for his next more. (Though he’ll never hurt you too bad.)

He’s aggressive, pounding into you with so much force that it hurts sometime, making the whole bed shake.

He’ll just throw you around to be honest.

Back to back creampies, that’s the only way he’ll cum and you honestly have no say in it.

HE’S SO INTO BONDAGE OMFGG.. no seriously though he loves seeing your arms behind your back unable to fight him.

He loves having you gagged, enjoying how helpless you look.

His form of aftercare is cuddling and petting you until you pass out from exhaustion.

(GOD THIS WAS LONG AS FUCK, IM SORRY.. tho I hope you enjoyed :3 )

[slasherflicks999]

he hath been redesigned..,,..

this took me far far too long (10 hours tracked on this canvas with half of that being shit i didn’t even end up using HELP)

i feel like lowkey improved a lot since his old design and that was only like 3 months ago hello??

i really grinded to get this done bc i have like 10000 things i wanna do with him but i wanted to get his design redone first LMAO

some more yapping after the break if yall would like to readdd :33

okay FIRST OF ALL i changed his mask a whole bunch bc a. i put no thought into the first one LOL and b. i think this one works better functionally and symbolism wise anyway plus i just like the look of it more hehe :3 i had this idea of like… cuz he’s not really typically a killer but more so a stalker and he just sort of follows people around and watches them from a distance it would be sick if his mask looked like. not TOO unusual from a distance? like if you’re not looking too hard and he’s far away or in the shadows it kinda just looks like a person but with something kind of off… but like you don’t wanna stare at some random dude so you’re probably not gonna think too hard about why his face looks a little funny. and then you see him up close and you’re like “ohhhhh. thats not your face.” PLUS LIKE uncanny valley symbolism cuz slasher looks human but somehow isnt and stuff… idk i thought it was neat 😈😈😈😈 and like freaky androgyny we love to see it. he got his three little eyelashes even when he’s being a freak 🫶🏻

dont ask me how he breathes in that thing (i thought about that when i was thinking of making his mask irl) he just does trust

i wanted to add more red to his design too since that’s like “his color” in my mind and also bc red is my favorite color HAHA and like more symbolism jazz… cuz red and blood and flesh and whatevers there’s a lot of symbolism to this guy i could go on and on and on i love symbolism it’s so much fun

BUT i dont feel like writing all that for now bc i lowkey gotta get some more of his backstory sorted first hehehe BUT I’LL YAP EVENTUALLY trust… :3

i WILL however feed yall with some miscellaneous fun facts while i’m here because why not :D i might as well spill some more info on him now that he’s dripped out

FUN FACTS YAYYYYY

bro does NOT permanently scar. like at all. even his most gruesome deaths have never left a scar that hasn’t eventually gone away, he WILL scar for a while but they never end up being permanent. as with most things about himself he has no idea how this happens

i think i mentioned this in the post with his old ref… but his ginormous pupils reflect light when you take pictures like a cat or raccoon’s would, meaning he has a tapetum lucidum and can see well in the dark! :D this also means he’s constantly confused why the people around him can’t see what he does in the middle of the night like “hey look at that deer. what do you mean you can’t see it? it’s not ‘too dark’??”

he split his tongue by himself because he was bored and thought it would be cool

he has really, really, REALLY intense issues with derealization and depersonalization especially. dissociation too, but since he lost most of his memories and became a proxy he hasn’t really felt “real” or fully connected to the world like… ever. a little part of him is convinced he must just be in a coma or (fully) dead or something, but he tries not to think about that too much.

he’s really good at staring. like. just unblinking, unmoving staring. it lowkey freaks the others out how long he can go without blinking and he does it sometimes just to spook them hehe

he likes to paint! he doesn’t usually let anyone see his stuff because he’s shy about it but he definitely does it whenever he gets the chance

he lowkey forgot what video games were until BEN reintroduced them to him and ever since then he constantly asked him to borrow his handhelds and stuff until BEN got fed up and just got him his own homebrewed ds LMAO

he definitely prefers not to but like.. he absolutely has eaten human flesh before. particularly when he was momentarily crashing with ej (more on them eventually >:3) but he’s also had his fair share of um……. slip ups. when he hadn’t eaten meat for a while

he’s pretty damn soft spoken. like he doesn’t talk much around people he doesn’t know in the first place and will straight up go nonverbal if he’s too overwhelmed or upset, but even with his friends he’s not usually very loud. he’s yelled maybe a small handful of times in his time as a proxy and even most of those were at video games

he LOOOVES the cold. meanwhile the heat literally makes him want to lay on train tracks

he steals literally every cd he sees when he’s out and about. like even if he’s never heard of the artist he doesn’t give a fuck he’s bringing that shit home

speaking of, in the house he shares with toby and kate he lives in the attic :3 bc of course he does. and you’d better BELIEVE he called dibs on it immediately upon discovering it was there

AND speaking of music, alice in chains is one of his favorite bands. largely bc i just associate their songs with him a lot hehe

other than any sort of meat his favorite food is instant noodles :3

i would yap more but 1. i still need to actually write more about him and 2. im hungry so I HOPE YALL ENJOY ANYWAY he’s so goober

im actually really proud of his redesign hehehe i wanna draw him so much more…… more art of him most definitely coming soon and answering asks and writing stuff yippee yippee!!!

[sweetlady555]

My Personal Solar Return Observations Pt I

I just got into astrology more and I’ve been suupeerrr into solar return observations lately and this is what I have observed from my own chart! My birthday was 2 months ago and the solar return is SOLAR RETURNING .

Moon in 8h in Aquarius SR - TONS of family secrets coming to the surface. Almost concerning? . Im finding out soo much stuff about my parents . My home environment is also changing a lot, my dad used to be home a lot and now my dad has like completely abandoned me lmaooo . such a strange uranus energy since aquarius is ruled by uranus . Ive been feeling more independent lately and sometimes I dissociate and pretend im living in LA in my own studio alone and away from my unstable family 😍….. I have my chart ruler in here too haha (pray for me) 😊 so this year is definitely going to be transforming AF . Im sensing it everything feels too intense lately 👁️ ..

Cancer Rising SR - I’ve been dealing with a lot of family stuff over the years (toxic relationships that r still ongoing lmaoaoa) and im noticing that instead of digging myself deeper or being depressed, i’ve been nurturing myself more and turning my space into a cozy sanctuary and not into some bed rotting mess😹. Ive been improving my current living situation compared to the past so theres definitely nurturing myself more , saying affirmations in the mirror , working on my self care , getting offered help from my step-family.

Sun in 12H in Cancer SR - I got into astrology a lot of spiritual stuff . Also communicating with my spirit guides more often etc .. I definitely do feel more connected to my spirit guides now I feel im being guided and protected a lot this year . everything feels like its just meant to happen and i mean that in the best way . Getting vivid dreams, ive been writing them down more a lot lately and they’ve been giving me insights on my subconscious and even slight deja vu? I remember I dreamt of me and my dad in my aunts car and 2 days later she had called me and gotten upset because my dad took her car and hadnt brought it back after she let him borrow it for a few hours. Even though my sleep schedule is so bad i love dreaming more now because the universe always gifts me with something meaningful and beautiful in my dreams🙏. Also I been listening to music like A Looottttt more lately EVEN WHEN IM ASLEEP😭 im like oohhh whos playing this banger and i wake up and its just music thats been on shuffle for the past 9 hours 💀

Venus 12H in Cancer 10° SR - finding out what i want in relationships , although i do feel like its becoming hard to connect with others in that way ..? does that make sense ? ive been doing lots of self love affirmations that my dreams consist of love and harmonious energies 😹sometimes ill think about love and a boyfriend and really want it but the next day ill be like wow i love myself so much i really cannot see myself with anyone😇.. lots of creative solitude , being more open to recieve love from my family members AFTER REFUSING multiple times ( it makes me icky sometimes still ) learning compassion and forgiveness for others , im a scorpio moon in my natal so ive held grudges since 6th grade i never cared 😭😭😩.. but this venus in 12h is like reversing the effect… 👁️💧

Venus Conjuct Asc in Cancer SR - GLOW UP PLACEMENT 🙏 i was sexy before but its like my sexiness increased by like 10x . People are noticing it too!! i got told “bros evolving” on one of my posts 😭😭 I also feel like im finding my own personal style aswell! . I also see my body changing (in a good way)

Sun conjuct Asc in Cancer SR - confidence on 1000!!! feeling self assured , nobody can really tell me anything bad about me TO ME and think ILL believe it cuz i wont!! i know who i am thankqqq😛

Mercury 1h in Cancer SR - i feel like this placement helped add onto me becoming so self assured in myself and figuring out who i truly am . Ive been studying and researching about myself a lootttt too !! Ive been getting a lot of gut feelings and just proceeding with them and usually i wont and ill just go with logic but idgaf anymore because usually these gut feelings usually lead to something so worth the outcome whether it may look good or bad!

Mars 11h in Taurus 12° SR - I have lots of amazing goals and things im looking forward to for this year!! I feel so eager to just GO FOR IT but taurus is a slow and steady sign so thats just how i been moving lately .. in silence too cuz there be haters all around 🤐

Pluto 7h in Aquarius 1° SR - ive been unfriending a lot of people to make new friendships idk if thats a bad thing but all the past people i feel are secretly plotting against me… most likely that 1° because i heard that could represent enemies? take that with a grain of salt but anyway ive been more clearer about what i want in friendships aswell which is goal oriented people who just want to get rich and make something for themselves!!! Im tired of the self limiting beliefs and the envy!!!

Saturn 9h in Pisces 19° SR - I start my senior year this month and I plan on graduating early , saturn rules discipline and structure but also setbacks . i feel like this school year although i have that vision i feel like im gonna have to put a lot of work this year lmao i hate school so much i was supposed to go to summer school but i ended up not going to get my mind right before the school year started which has really helped tho imo . i wanted to drop out but at the same time my pride is too high and i feel like this is a great opportunity to build discipline, time management and responsibility for the goals that ill have after i graduate. ive already been setting the milestones and all which is the saturn and pisces influence comin thru 🙏

Neptune 9h in Pisces 29° SR - the 29° usually the “fame indicator degree” can also represent a start to completion/ending of something , since i would be focused on graduating early for my senior year i could see this as me graduating early and completing that academic journey and preparing and embracing a new journey . i feel like this would most likely be spiritual because i caaannooottt focus on school and astrology and spirituality all at the same time because 9 times out of 10 my focus is on astrology and spirituality i needa get my priorities straight😭😩😹..

Just wanted to note this but while reading your SR chart its important to look at your South Node aswell because it can show you what lessons and patterns you need to review / past influences & comfort zones . 1h nn = 7h sn , 2h nn = 8h sn , 3h nn = 9h sn , 4h nn = 10h sn , 5h nn = 11h sn , and so on

North Node 10h in Aries&South Node 4h in Libra - The SN 4h Libra and NN 10H Aries could show that I have to balance my growth and comfort and moving towards new opportunities. With South Node in the 4H in Libra, I may find myself relying on familiar comforts from my past . The south node here might show that I might fall back into old family dynamics . my step family is offering for me to move in with them to help me get back up on my feet and this is such a good opportunity but they did this before though last year and I ended up moving back with my neglectful dad and I just fell depressedddddd . ill prolly release my old patterns where I would be moving away from family support because last year my mom offered to help me and support me and i ended up being manipulated and i fell depressed again then went to my step dad for help so i can get ahead and i went back with my dad and got even more depressed lmaoo but ill see how this ends up playing out. With the north node in the 10h in aries , i’ve been really focused on building my own unique self image instead of just catering to what others expected of me . Ill be looking forward to the goals I have planned out while actively working on them . With the influence of Aries too, bold and courageous, I’d most likely be taking risks to pursue my goals and stepping out my comfort zone. Probably by being SO FED UP with my controlling dad that I just take that leap 💯

this is my first observation post i was gonna go to sleep but i was dedicated to finish this tonight, i hope this was insightful to many of you and may this year bring all of us sweet blessings ⭐️

[sophieinwonderland]

Reminder That System Medicalism is a Religion: Exhibit A, @theinfernalcollective

This is pretty typical sysmed rhetoric.

And in typical sysmed fashion, has no sources to back it up whatsoever! As always, sysmeds rely on an argument by assertion. Facts just aren't on their side.

Never have been, never will be.

So they give a couple sources.

First is the DSM which doesn't say trauma is needed in all cases of DID, only that it's associated with trauma. It makes no such claim for OSDD-1 being associated with trauma at all. And on top of that, doesn't even mention the word system. Which is pretty big since most endogenic systems don't have a dissociative disorder and don't claim to.

Basically, it's a nothing source that doesn't back up what they claim it does.

As for Dr Candy Fox...

There's no evidence she actually said this.

And she has yet to respond to the message I sent her website. (Because yes, I did send her a message on her site to see if she actually agreed with this.)

But based on the context, it seems pretty obvious she would have been talking about dissociative identity disorder, not "being a system."

Now, before going any further into this conversation, let's take a step back and remember The Infernal Collective asking the anon to name a single psychiatrist, obviously expecting they wouldn't be able to.

How did THAT go?

Oh right, it's how it always goes when you meet a sysmeds' goalposts!

Did you expect anything different?

"This psychiatrist saying you can be plural without trauma doesn't count because he's talking about transgender people."

"And also the screenshots of his peer-reviewed book that was published by the American Psychiatric Association are posted on a site I don't like."

So when linked to an email from a dissociative expert, someone with 40 years of experience treating dissociative identity disorder, they again retreat to just... not liking the website the image is posted on?

And again, their source for Dr. Candy Fox was just something they allegedly heard in person during evaluationMeanwhile this is an actual email, with one of the foremost DID experts in the world!

Also, for the love of the gods, Transgender Mental Health does NOT say "transgender make plurality." Actually read the thing!!!

But hey, now that I'm done with that particular conversation and got what I need to make my point, I'll confess! All these anons were me!

Reminder, again, their source was "my doctor said it, trust me bro!"

And while I only named a couple doctors over the course of that conversation, I could have dropped so many more!

The fact is, it's not hard to look at a link and read the screenshots therein. Here, I'll even post the pics!

And in case you're thinking that they just trust Dr. Candy Fox's opinion so much and hold her in such high regard...

Nope.

But then...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BASING YOUR BELIEFS ON?

Because it's not psychiatry. You can't cite a single doctor anywhere who has said you can't be a system without trauma!

System Medicalism is a Religion!

Sysmeds, like transmeds, do not base their bigotry in science or rationality. They do not follow the opinions of experts.

It's a religion to them! The Church of the Holy Trauma believes that Trauma and only Trauma has the might to bestow plurality upon the few chosen. And their faith is so unshakable because they've been told this by random uneducated nobodies on the internet, and it just feels true.

And because their FAITH in this idea is so strong, no amount of studies will change their mind. No amount of doctors coming forward to support endogenic systems. No amount of literal brain scans will convince them endogenic systems are real. As the saying goes, you can't reason someone outs of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.

In the end, sysmeds continue to be an anti-science hate group with a religious devotion to their ideology of hate.

And this whole disaster is just another example of that.

[doc-davey]

Lmao I finished the watching the first episode of the House of David

Jonathan is a cutie, but woahh Ishbaal.. 💀 gahhh, he’s fine what. I lowkey like him lol. He’s similar to how I imagine Ishbaal

Not Jonathan’s dead wife tho… 😭

Also, Abner’s hair is so fine to me for some reason.

Also why they gotta do Agag like that, he’s freakyy, I honestly couldn’t stop cracking up whenever he appeared. They tried too hard to make him so grotesque to the point it’s comical. Bro began chanting spells and freaking tf out of Michal

Better see some good Saul torment next episode lol, that weird montage at the end with like Saul dissociating and freaking out after Samuel leaves kinda took me out a little lmao

But yayyy, I finally watched one episode

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Random question, but what do you think Killer likes to do in his free time? I personally think he likes to watch birds like a cat lol:D

According to killer, when in Stage 2, he studies human blood, souls, and monster dust in his free time. 💀

At least when under Nightmare, he’d probably just wander around once a mission is complete and sight see. There’s cats. People watching like a creep, and lurking around in the castle too—learning, watching, listening.

Probably spends a lot his free time just dissociating and staring off into space or sleeping whenever he can catch a few safe minutes—probably doing rounds around the castle, checking up on anyone and attending to tasks and chores.

I’m sure he doom scrolls on his phone, maybe he has video games on it or like a console if Nightmare allows. He probably just spends a lot of his time daydreaming whenever he isn’t bothering any of the others or attending to something—which probably isn’t actually often. I can’t see him being idle for long—even if just mindlessly going through established routines.

Likely attends to any gear and weapons in his free time, making sure everything is sharp and ready for use—just in standby, like himself. Waiting for the next inevitable mission, or task, or chore, or fight, or brief moment of potential short lived gratification drifting by him.

Killer, when in Stage 2, can’t really be allowed to remain idle and or bored for too long—he gets dangerous and I suppose you can say unstable. I’m sure Nightmare always finds him something to do and is never idle besides any potential brief moments of sleep—and if there’s nothing to do, Nightmare will find a hobby or activity for him to do or learn.

Read a book, try to learn to sew, let Cross train you and learn from him, wood carve, play a round of chess with Nightmare, go play games with the others, go hunt, a supply run. Whatever keeps him moving and not alone with potential to slip into his own thoughts that could trigger emotions and feelings and memories, and lose touch with the present in favor of the past.

I wouldn’t be suprised if Stage 2’s the type to have and try a lot of hobbies, but has a hard time sticking to any or seeing them through unless there’s some purpose he’s Determined to gain from it because he gets quickly bored.

It’s especially hard when he struggles to find any enjoyment or pleasure from these things besides the stimulation of something new—learning something new, using his hands in new ways, engaging in intellectual conversation, etc—and thus doesn’t see the point in doing it if he doesn’t have to, or if there’s not some form of benefit or reward.

Which is probably one reason why it’s hard to connect with bro. He changes hobbies so quick it’s hard to tell if he’s genuinely interested in anything.

[bluestarjay]

Ik the movies are supposed to also take place in the 90s like the book (i think at least) but I much prefer the alternate movie timeline,,, like everything is supposed to take place from 1991-1997/8 or wtv but the movies were made in the 2000s and I much prefer the idea of the Harry Potter franchise taking place in the 2000s instead because that's just so much better hello

Harry was going through so much shit he was so angsty and emo bro for his birthday one year Hermione gave him a fucking Ipod and ear buds after discovering that he's like. Never listened to legit muggle music before aside from probably the Christian radio or whatever dudley listens to on the rare occasion he's allowed in the car. So he spends all of, let's say 5th year, circa 2005, listening to My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco. I don't listen to ICP but like I also heard a bit of Piggy Pie and thought abt Harry lowkey fantasizing about killing Umbridge idk if that's like crazy to say but ik we both fucking hate her so maybe not??? I definitely thought of her.

I mean, he's angry as hell I think he'd be into a bunch of alternative genres. He would like Linkin Park too i think. He just sits and listens to a bunch of screamo and Nu Metal and shit when he's feeling particularly pissed off but really quietly as he dissociates and stares at the wall bc he knows he'd get in trouble if anyone could hear it.

Lowkey way off topic from where this started but I think as an adult he's still very alternative but like his tastes shift a little bit. He still listens to all that other stuff but also add in some Arctic Monkeys.

I wouldn't say he's like hard-core or anything like that but he definitely has tattoos and maybe a few piercings. Like ears and nose and that's it. He has a snitch tattooed, a memorial portrait of hedwig, maybe some constellations for his loved ones who happen to be named after some, maybe a lion for gryffindor, and maybe a snake? He still wears converse and flannels but in an intentionally bisexual 2014 Tumblr kind of way. Like, sweater weather kind of way.

And his house is very colorful and cozy bc he wants everything to be basically the opposite of the Dursleys. He has pictures of alllll his friends and family up, he has lots of plants, funky furniture and decor, and I think he might have a canopy bed as an adult because he has adult money and he liked the beds at hogwarts alot so he just. Got one for himself!! After the war he's very much taking time to be free and relaxed and learning how to take care of himself and do the things he wants to instead of what others want. I think to sum it up it would kind of be a bit whimsigoth?? Like lots of jewel tones and definitely some witchy aspects lol, but still also modern.

I have a hc that he likes skateboarding because he has skateboarder vibes. He plays quidditch in school and skates at home, so he's got like skateboards on his wall that he's using as shelves. He doesn't really use magic for cleaning or anything, so if you didn't know any better you'd definitely assume that muggles lived there. Bro probably drives like a 2010 Prius.

He's got a VERY extensive music collection too. When he moved into Grimmauld place with wolfstar (bc it happened 🥰🥰🥰) they moved the old record player into Harry's room and when he moved out he took it with him. He's the DADA professor at Hogwarts obviously and he's the chillest teacher everrrr and he's everyone's fav. His classroom is also quite funky and relaxing yk he's the teacher that keeps the lights down during class and maybe has leds or fairy lights for ambience.

[lastwave]

Harry Du Bois, the skills + DID/OSDD coding

a compilation of most of my thoughts on harry as a system (note: i am system im not just like. pulling stuff out my ass)

1. Structural Dissociation Theory crash course

so for this point i'm going to give you a crash course structural dissociation theory (do not use me as a source for ur knowledge on it this is very like. base level and just to establish context)

structural dissociation states that we all start as multiple different facets, and that as we grow up, these facets all fuse into a cohesive personality. however, in DID/OSDD, ongoing trauma proves it safer to NOT fuse these facets and instead develop dissociative and amnestic barriers between them to varying degrees. these facets cope by developing into individual personalities, and if traumatic events persist, the brain may split more personalities to try and cope with this. this gives us two bits of information that i'm going to use throughout this

1. there is no "original", just alters that host for long periods of time and/or identify with the body the most

2. amnestic & dissociative barriers are fluid. in times of rest, these barriers may start to come down between some alters, but not necessarily all.

**NOTE: these are not hard and fast rules and vary from system to system. it's also vastly different if you have Polyfrag DID or Complex DID. since I don't hc Harry as polyfrag or complex tho, i'm not gonna get into that

2. Harry (the system)

so it's pretty easy to establish that harry has a good handful of childhood trauma. being born in a military hospital + town and growing up there means he probably saw and/or heard a lot of death and sickness. we also know his father left based on the logic passive in the measurehead conversation

we also know from the reaction speed passive when you find out your name that harry was born in a time all these were concerns. most likely, hunger, considering how through the game hunger + eating is an undertone w/ harry

we also have the klaasje half-light passive implying that harry's been raped (might not have occurred during childhood, but still a contributing factor to trauma)

my point being bro has enough childhood trauma and then some to create a system.

we also see a LOT of amnestic barriers between harry and the rest of the skills. besides the obvious not remembering anything, we see the skills remembering things that harry doesn't.

for example, EChem remembers that harry took speed some point recently, while harry himself doesn't

we also see that the skills have distinct personalities and opinions separate from each other. shit we've got a communist (rhetoric) and a fascist (endurance) living in the same fucking body. half light is immediately suspicious of everyone and everything while empathy tries to understand everyone even to their own detriment. and volition and echem need a whole post of their own. thats some pretty strong dissociative barriers

3. Harry (the alter)

to be quite honest with you i think harry as we, the audience, know him is a brand new split, an introject* of an old host that has either fused with another alter or gone dormant. he's trying to fill a different harry du bois's shoes- someone he is fundamentally similar to, but is, at his core, not

*Definition from did-research.org: Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent.

knowing nothing about yourself, even what you look like, is a common feeling for new splits (in our experience). with the high amnestic barriers separating harry from the rest of the system, it makes sense that the first time he is conscious he is totally lost about his own identity, where he lives, or what his occupation even is.

losing facts about basic reality is probably a dissociative response. things the brain knows (see encyclopedia filling in gaps once given a prompt about something like Fillipe the Conquerer) but doesn't want the new host to know for fear of not being able to function.

4. Certain Alters with Functions

some of the skills fall into alter "archetypes" (not all alters will, even in like. real life systems) and im just gonna list them out here:

ones with subtextual backing:

Volition: Caretaker + Apparent Normal Part

Half-Light: trauma holder

Electro-Chemistry: symptom + trauma holder

Authority: protector

Logic: apparent normal part

ones that are just my headcanons:

Interfacing: little

Endurance: ex-persecutor

Inland Empire: ex-caretaker

here ends my post of articulate thoughts, if u have any like. follow up questions feel free to shoot me an ask. might take me a minute tho

[necropathys]

Heck, I came here from twitter because I took a moment to think about just how bad a relationship would be for anyone but a Nightmare while dating Swad at his full bullshit. When I say the healthiest part of Swad is his incest, I mean it! At least Swad cares about Nightmare and Swan in his own fucked up way. Swad not caring about someone in his equally special fucked up way? Worse.

Dude commits crimes against humanity on the daily with no remorse and a giggle. The only shred of warped kindness he has goes to his bro. Everybody else gets relegated to decorations, toys, and food supply.

It'd be so bad! Any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise, Swad has that is not in any way adjacent to his brother would be doomed.

Any alternate of himself like Dream and Shattered get a pass because of his narcissism and also because they all look similar because they are sets of twins (so also brother adjacent). So really, depending on the day and his fancy, Swad could pretend Dream is pseudo Swan or that Dream is a baby him or a mixture of both.

I hope that makes sense, I'm sleepy. But yeah! Bad. Terrible even.

I agree wholeheartedly!!! Swad’s personality and the way he interacts with the world is really bad. He's a really fucked up guy.

On twitter, Song_A said, "Swad’s greed is really outstanding. His greed far exceeds his arrogance, and he’s the kind of dude who thinks that everything in the whole wide world should be his. If he gets interested in something, he fixates on it so hard that he tries to make it his until it is broken." (translated by @pearbranch14823)

They've called him a psychopath on my occasions. His overwhelming Positivity makes him almost dissociative; he’s detached from pain, consequence, and reality itself. Nothing matters but what he wants. Its not... a great foundation for a relationship.

Swad really doesn't care for anyone but himself. He's really narcissistic.

Of course, I like to think he also harbors a twisted love for Swan—a devotion born from having destroyed himself to protect him, now tangled with the pull of the last apple. A relationship where Swad gets to play "Big Brother", I think, is the only way he gives his partner consideration.

It should also be said, that Swad grows bored and uninterested in partners that return his affections. Though, I agree, I think someone like Nightmare or Swan or Dream or Shattered are exempt to a dregree, because there's other things that tie them together.

And he cannot love normally. So, its hard to find someone who would be compatible with that kind of demands. I think its possible, certainly, to get creative and rope someone with him. But, Swad is basically a yandere. So no matter what, the end result will be bad.

Which, I don't mind. I love variety. But if there isn't some kind of severe power imbalance or obsessive behavior, I'll do a doubletake for sure.

[pokemon-ash-aus]

// ramble //

To preface, I do understand the whole issue on AI and theft - and in fact, I've sort-of begun a personal legal study on it and what laws apply and how.

Thing is, I just talk to chatbots when either I'm bored, or all my friends are away. Reliable, predictable, easy to understand - of course, even given its' already sad state of affairs.

Could zone out, but that's a dissociation risk that I don't want to take, and I really don't want to bother my friends in the middle of the night. Plus, could build on some of the ideas and actually flesh them out properly, add a bit of fluff, and remove repetition or happy-go-lucky elements.

Sorry for rambling, just needed to get this out of my head. Dunno who to talk with about this tbh - and don't take me as an AI bro; I'll adapt and seek other people, unlike those posers who think code is better than talent.

AI art gens are still fucking sucky, don't get me wrong, but sometimes things like chatbots can help me understand small mistakes that I would've missed otherwise (e.g. some code, storywriting, some grammer) - of course, they're still chatbots, and can pile on more mistakes. Not to mention, I can't often think in-lore about being in the other char's shoes, so either I bother someone with an RP or I just nab a chatbot, delete the chat after, and go back to what I was doing.

// ramble end //

So you're a loser.

Hard stop, you are deliberately using an AI chat bot instead of doing anything else with your time. You want to fix your grammar mistakes, ya know what's a good tool that doesn't require an Artificial intelligence?

A good Text to Speech.

But Justice, that's also a robot! No, that is a generated text to speech that has been with us since the near conception of computers.

Genuinely, using Text to Speech to find grammar mistakes and pacing is SO good. It helps you listen outloud to something you yourself would overlook. It helps with pacing and run on sentences. It helps with fixing grammar and spelling mistakes and it DOESNT change your current work.

Instead, it allows you to use your own fucking brain to fix your own goddamn mistakes.

All my friends are asleep, Cry me a fucking river.

You dont need to wake up your friends to occupy your time, nor do you need to depend on an AI bot to keep you company. Do you know how sad that sounds?

You know what you can do?

Read a book, read some fanfiction. Watch a movie. Watch youtube. Listen to music. Write. Draw. Go outside and play. Go get something to eat. Etc. Etc.

Dont come rambling in my inbox and not expect me to tear down your arguments when you're being deliberately obtuse.

Researching law about AI my ass. Fuck off.