#batfam as a family

[emerald-cobracat]

Do you think the Wayne family get caught in bludhaven when ever they miss Dick. Like just commit a random but harmless crime until the police send Officer Grayson to spend time with his family.

Bruce goes speeding. Jason will vandalize the police station. Tim will just appear with random objects stolen from the nearest police officer. Cass will also appear and scare everyone and then just follow Dick. Stephanie will cover everything in glitter and somehow replace all the donuts in the police station will celery. Damian will walk around the police station will a small army of strays. Barbra will set up a meeting that will last hours. Duke challenges the nearest officer to a staring contest, he wins and gets paid five dollars every time he wins.

Every member has their own way of getting the polices attention and making Dick spend time with them. They also sometimes switch tactics just to annoy. See Jason breaking every traffic law he can within an hour, it was a bet. Bruce losing multiple staring contests. The less said about Cass’s pranks the better. And multiple batkids somehow managing to convince every shop within bludhaven to not sell donuts to any and all police officers.

If Dock wasn’t such a good cop he would have been fired or transferred forever ago. That and the one time they tried Bruce ended up crying and making a scene for hours, the media had a field day with that.

[itsdabatt]

when your crime lord son has glow in the dark eyes

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

[whywoulditho]

for some reason middle aged comic fans coming on the internet to defend their decision as to why they thought a twelve year old should have died or lived is so funny 😭😭😭

[arttuff]

he likes to be jostled it's so enriching for him

[incorrectbatfam]

The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way

[star--bird]

Headcanon that Jason never learned how to drive but kind of figured it out and drives alright. For the most part. Okay, he's not a good driver, and in all honesty, this is probably canon since I doubt he ever took driver's ed but here are some scenes to consider:

-----

Dick: The car in front of you is slowing down. Slow down. Jason slow down. JASON SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Jason: Okay! Okay! Calm down, it's hard to tell when the car in front of you is slowing down anyways.

Dick: Yeah that's why cars come with brake lights. You know, the things on the back of the car? That go off when the driver is breaking?

Jason: ...OH so that's what those mean.

-----

Jason: Damn this road is so dark, I genuinely cannot see.

Tim: Turn on your brights.

Jason: The what?

Tim: *sigh* Twist the stick thingy.

Jason: Oh my god have these been there the entire time?

-----

*Jason driving alone and fumbling with lots of different buttons and switches to try and find where the windshield wipers are in loony toones esc fashion*

-----

Damian (who is currently in drivers ed): You can turn left now.

Jason: You can only turn right on red.

Damian: Yeah but it's a one way onto another one way. You can turn left in red.

Jason: This feels illegal.

Damian: I promise you it isn't.

-----

Damian (before he took drivers ed): Aren't we suppose to exit at some point?

Jason (currently on his third lap around the roundabout): Yeah I'm just... Scared.

[vespertilionis]

Bruce: “Has anybody here had any contact with Jason in the last five months?”

Steph, who has been exchanging rants about their favorite shows with him daily and is currenly typing a new one: “…No.”

[flonflonflon]

His look with the bandages.......... erm, have another scrib of Jason I did based on that wahoo I care he o(-(

[ccccchepushilo]

I imagine alfred combed all the robins' hair in the middle section since they were kids (and they're still doing it) only damian's the only one who's been able to escape this fate

[nerokchi]

Robins

[notholaenas]

the bite is a gift 🐺💉

insta

[itsdabatt]

anyways here’s tim drake dying in a glue trap

[tiger-grace]

Jason: it’s always “we love you, you’re apart of our family too, you’re enjoyable to be around, please come home for dinner, blah blah blah,” until you make ONE trauma compensating joke…

Duke: Jason you said “damn this chicken tastes better than the concrete floor of that warehouse lmao” on the anniversary of your own death

Tim: you literally made dick cry

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

Several videos (independently) start circulating on the internet of the Waynes info dumping.

Bruce - the role of railways in westward expansion in the 1890s

Dick - clown eggs

Jason - tb and the New England vampires of the late 19th century, with reference to vampire literature

Cass - Paris sewer system

Tim - comparison of different camera lenses from different manufacturers, with model numbers

Duke - anti homeless architecture and how to remove it

Damian - cat declawing

After all this, a new meme forms.

'You must be this autistic to get adopted by Bruce Wayne.'

[stickyvoidpaper]

Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.

Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.

Dick : What

Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.