#avpd posting

[aspdculture-is]

ASPD + AvPD culture is getting angry when people vent because it's just so annoying and makes them look so worthless to you, despite knowing that you're just as neurotic as they are, if not moreso.

ASPD Culture is

[androidhellboy]

honest to Baphomet I hate when my AVPD sends me into a spiral

All I can think of is how little I matter to anyone I've ever interacted with. How much of a burden my existence is to their day. How fuckin pointless it is for me to try and express that I want to be friends because even then - I still find that I put myself in hyper-solitary.

I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I didn't feel sad when a social interaction goes a different way than I had hoped.

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[avpdpossum]

can we talk more about avpd being a (proposed) schizospec disorder? because i almost never see that theory talked about but i wish it was. like…

avpd makes me censor my thoughts because i think someone might hear what i’m thinking and see what a horrible person i am on the inside or judge me for thinking embarrassing things.

avpd makes me so afraid of someone walking in on me doing something i Shouldn’t Be Doing that my brain twists background noise into the sounds of whispers and footsteps behind me.

avpd makes me so worried about people staring at me that in my peripheral vision, anyone near me looks like they’re already staring at me, and it’s only when i look at them directly that i realize they’ve been looking in a totally different direction the whole time.

avpd makes me so convinced of how much everyone must secretly hate me that i often start thinking everyone secretly wants to hurt me too, to the point where i’ve had panic attacks from a person walking too close behind me because i feel like they’re getting ready to attack me (when i haven’t had any kind of trauma that would create that fear), and the paranoia just serves to reinforce my need to avoid people.

avpd makes me lose my ability to speak or reduces it to nothing more than one word answers only when spoken to, turning the thoughts i wanted to express into a jumble that’s impossible to turn into words or just throwing them away completely and making my mind go blank, so i end up just staring at people silently or even acting like i don’t see them standing there at all (not on purpose but because my brain won’t let me engage with them).

avpd makes me look damn near emotionless around everyone but my safe person (and sometimes even around my safe person) because showing my emotions would be far too vulnerable for its liking, so it completely takes away my ability to express them.

and i could keep going! there are so many things i experience because of avpd that i’ve seen really closely reflected in the experiences of schizospec people. i don’t know how common these kinds of things are in avpd overall, but they’re a really prominent part of my experience with it, so when i found out that some research suggested it could be considered a schizospec disorder itself, that made so much sense to me! and i’d be so curious to see how many other avoidants have dealt with this stuff but haven’t talked about it because it’s never mentioned as being part of avpd.

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[mewos-laptop]

Shoutout to folks w/ low, little, or no empathy, we're really cool actually. /srs

[thatonegaybrit]

POV people when I use neurodivergent to mean actually all neurodivergents yes even the "scary" ones: 😨

[avoidant-dreams]

avpd culture is sharing something with someone, and because they don't sound that enthusiastic you shut down and feel suicidal

[membrane-attack-complex]

NOTE THING

ok wait let me just make one of these

5 notes: dunno ill like drink water eveery 5 notes ig

10 notes: ill go pet the dog/cat

30 notes: ill promise to try and go eat if i feel hungry any time i can instead of being too tired to just starve

50 notes: ill ask my mom if i can bring some food to school (not that much, like a small packet of some chips or smthn) cuz i normally bring nothing

100 notes: ill try to go to bed before 11:00 pm

300 notes: ill try to be more social with my new irl friends

500 notes: ill be more open to my therapist

1000 notes: i will try to ask for help more at school

I know the biggest one being so small is kind of stupid but like, i have avpd, thats all i can do

2 notes per person!!!

[androidhellboy]

what if I just....don't interact with people??? Sounds like a great idea

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Wishing that I could be softer and sweeter and more loving and affectionate but simultaneously being absolutely disgusted and repulsed and enraged by the very notion is kind of exhausting actually

[avpdpossum]

does anyone else do the avpd thing where the more you like or care about someone, the more you subconsciously avoid them way more than you avoid other people (to the point of not even looking at them)?

because i do and i’m constantly terrified that the people i like and care about the most are going to think i hate them because my brain won’t let me act like i like them or engage with them at all. and it kills me that it’s not even a stretch for them to think i hate them because yeah, if i’m smiling at and even having little chats with other people but i can’t even look at them, it sure does look like i hate them, doesn’t it?

but it’s not like i’m making a conscious choice to avoid them or act cold toward them, it’s just an instinct that i don’t really even notice i’m slipping into again until it’s too late. in the moment, it feels just like my usual avoidance and it’s only once i’m with other people again that i realize how much of an asshole i was.

[frogtrenchcoat]

another fucked up thing abt avpd (n personality disorders generally i think) is how hard it can be to separate rational/healthy thought from disordered thought. am i being kind or am i being self sacrificial? is this something i just shouldn't do around people or am i masking? would this actually be rude or is it normal to other people? sometimes i cannot fucking figure it out

[npd-avpd-culture-is]

i can’t find it anymore but i just saw an image that said “born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from” and honestly to me that explains the cognitive dissonance i experience from these disorders pretty well

NPD + AvPD Culture is the image anon is describing ^

[jupiter-on-the-compupiter]

The neurodivergent feeling of being like "help I'm being mildly and fairly criticized over a small flaw by someone that clearly cares about me and is trying not to be mean. I think I'm gonna explode and lock myself in my room never to see the light of day again, human interaction will be my demise"

[suicidal1sociopath]

Ok it might be controversial but I hate: "you can't have xyzPD before the age of 18/21!🤬🤬" oh stfu. I mean, of course you can't have actual personality disorder and get diagnose of PD before the age of 21 because your brain is still developing but you still can show PD's symptomps (even you have to because it would be weird and it wouldn't be a PD if you weren't show symptomps in adolescency and/or childhood) and get "abnormally developing personality with xyzPD traits" diagnosis. First symptomps of PD CAN appear in early childhood. The thing that PD's symptomps appear in early adulthood is bullshit and objectively false. Because a minor's brain is still developing symptomps can change, become more intense but personality is still disordered. Also "hormones" argument makes me annoyed. O/c, I agree PD's, especially BPD is really overdiagnosed and a healthy teen can show BPD symtomps but still those "hormonal BPD symtomps" and real BPD symtomps visibly differ from each other in intensity and impact on everyday functioning. + really late PD diagnosis make it harder to manage and more problematic.