#schizotaxic

[avpdpossum]

can we talk more about avpd being a (proposed) schizospec disorder? because i almost never see that theory talked about but i wish it was. like…

avpd makes me censor my thoughts because i think someone might hear what i’m thinking and see what a horrible person i am on the inside or judge me for thinking embarrassing things.

avpd makes me so afraid of someone walking in on me doing something i Shouldn’t Be Doing that my brain twists background noise into the sounds of whispers and footsteps behind me.

avpd makes me so worried about people staring at me that in my peripheral vision, anyone near me looks like they’re already staring at me, and it’s only when i look at them directly that i realize they’ve been looking in a totally different direction the whole time.

avpd makes me so convinced of how much everyone must secretly hate me that i often start thinking everyone secretly wants to hurt me too, to the point where i’ve had panic attacks from a person walking too close behind me because i feel like they’re getting ready to attack me (when i haven’t had any kind of trauma that would create that fear), and the paranoia just serves to reinforce my need to avoid people.

avpd makes me lose my ability to speak or reduces it to nothing more than one word answers only when spoken to, turning the thoughts i wanted to express into a jumble that’s impossible to turn into words or just throwing them away completely and making my mind go blank, so i end up just staring at people silently or even acting like i don’t see them standing there at all (not on purpose but because my brain won’t let me engage with them).

avpd makes me look damn near emotionless around everyone but my safe person (and sometimes even around my safe person) because showing my emotions would be far too vulnerable for its liking, so it completely takes away my ability to express them.

and i could keep going! there are so many things i experience because of avpd that i’ve seen really closely reflected in the experiences of schizospec people. i don’t know how common these kinds of things are in avpd overall, but they’re a really prominent part of my experience with it, so when i found out that some research suggested it could be considered a schizospec disorder itself, that made so much sense to me! and i’d be so curious to see how many other avoidants have dealt with this stuff but haven’t talked about it because it’s never mentioned as being part of avpd.

[inrecoveryhehe]

Respect psychotic folk!!!

respect psychotic folk by not assuming they're automatically dangerous or hostile.

respect psychotic folk by not feeding into and/or confirming their delusions/hallucinations.

respect psychotic folk by not calling strangers "delusional" when they disagree with you.

respect psychotic folk by not pseudo-diagnosing criminals as psychotic with barely any evidence.

respect psychotic folk by not interacting with "schizoposting" posted by non-schizo specs.

respect psychotic folk by not showing them potentially paranoia-triggering memes.

respect psychotic folk by not interacting with memes that make fun of the psychotic experience.

respect psychotic folk by realizing that none of the things listed are too much to ask for, and that it takes no effort from your side to not be sanist.

[kpopwerewolf]

I came across this in the comments on a YouTube video:

[ID: A screenshot of a conversation that reads as follows:

User 1: Please don't use the word "delulu". It's incredibly disrespectful to those with psychotic & schizospec disorders and the term was specifically created to mock delusions. It's extremely trivializing as it waters down "delusion" to "believing a fantasy" rather than what it actually is (a very serious and often terrifying and traumatizing experience, such as believing that you're being stalked)

User 2: Idc

User 1: I know not everyone is bothered by it, but a vast majority of the community (at least from what I've seen) does [bolded for emphasis] care. [line break] If you're find with others using the term or if you even use it yourself to describe your own experiences/symptoms, then more power to you, but others in the community have been asking people to stop using this term. [line break] It's very upsetting and even triggering to some, myself included, and it's additionally upsetting when people are dismissive of the distress it causes.

User 2: I ain't reading allat [a slangy spelling of "all that"]

// End ID]

(I hope I formatted it okay; I've never made an ID for a conversation before, so I wasn't really sure what the preferred way to to present it was)

I find this very frustrating. User 1 is explaining why the term "delulu" is hurtful and User 2 is just blatantly dismissing it all. (Which ironically enough is mentioned by User 1 in the previous message)

Just. Why do people think it's okay to act like this? Someone is taking the time to explain something to others -- obviously due to something said in the video -- and User 2 comes along and just starts being rude about it.

I just don't get it. I can understand people using the term before they realize the history and the hurt it causes, but this is just-

There are no words to describe how much it hurts to see people actively dismissing the schizospec community when we try to speak up about this

(I'm tagging this with "delulu" for those who filter the tag because the term alone causes distress)

[sch-com]

My problem is that I seem to like life in theory, but not in practice.

It's hard to definitely say that it's bad, if when I think about some situations, be it real past ones, or hypothetical future ones, I can say "yeah I guess that's good". But when I actually go live through them, it's never good.

I wish it was all over, but not like now now. More like, I wish I had all the experiences behind me. To have memories to look back on, but not actually having to live through them.

I only like life in theory.

[bpdcodone]

I’m really unbearably empty today allli. Did was get high as fuck all day still am

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

Hey hey! So I’m supposed to be taking a break (you saw how that went), but I wanted to ask for a bit of help. For my English final, I’m writing a research paper on psychiatry. It’s an exploratory essay with the question “how should psychiatric diagnosis be revised and utilized to best support patients?”

I’ve seen a lot of criticism on modern psychiatry here and would REALLY appreciate it if you could provide any sources on it! Especially if they’re reviewed/offer solutions.

If you have anything on the more positive side, I’d also love to see that!

My paper is mostly focused on the categorization and treatment of trauma disorders, and diagnosis more broadly.

Thank you all!

Note that I’m intentionally excluding all neurodevelopmental disorders apart from stating that they are not mental disorders and shouldn’t be under the jurisdiction of the APA.

Oh! And any resources on schizotaxia and the disorders it specifically relates to would be AMAZING!

[avpdpossum]

psych assessment: do you ever feel like your thoughts aren’t actually your own?

me: no, never, absolutely not

also me: *regularly saying “shut up” out loud to my own thoughts because sometimes when i think bad things about myself i don’t actually mean to think them and they catch me off guard and it feels like someone else using my mind’s voice and i don’t like it so i have to tell the angry brain gremlin that now’s not the time*

[hauntedselves]

The Schizotaxic Personality Disorders in the SWAP-200 Personality Disorder Assessment

Schizoid PD:

Schizotypal PD:

Avoidant PD:

From Zachary Wheeler, Treatment of Schizoid Personality [dissertation] (2013)

[sch-com]

I sometimes forget about my afflictions as I go through the motions of life. I have my daily chores, my obligations, things that I do- and it's easy to just live them without much thought. Sometimes I almost feel normal. Like it's so normal to be like this, how could any other way be?

But then something happens, a thought, a conversation, a situation, and I am reminded of how bizzare my thought processes, my actions can be. How these personality tendencies are deeply woven into every fiber of my daily existence.

[lightinlimbo]

I hate looking into autism and schizotaxia because psychologists both treat them as opposites with opposite treatments, even saying things like autistic traits "protecting" against schizophorenia. But then also saying that if you're autistic you're more prone to psychosis and that there is significant overlap between things like ASD and STPD. Making things confusing being like "ASD and schizotaxia are opposites and cannot coexist and their treatments must be opposite. Except autistic people are more prone to being schizotaxic but schizotaxic people are not more prone to being autistic". It's so confusing, especially when like. They mention enhanced sensory sensitivity being a "protection" against schizophrenic symptoms but our higher sensory sensitivity ties directly into us experiencing what seems to be STPD or at the least incredibly close to it. Like experiencing sensory overload and getting very delusional about it even if we logically know it's sensory overload (double bookkeeping) pretty regularly and not in an episodic way. What about us both being very literal and very metaphoric in our thinking both making communication more difficult co existing with each other even though things like hyper- and hypo-mentalism being supposedly opposite. Are we freaks? Are we misinterpreting one as the other? Is any of this research even still going to be accurate in 10 or so years considering ASD and schizophrenia were originally considered the fucking same not all that long ago and now they're treated as polar opposites despite others we've met who seem to experience both? WTF happens then?

[sch-com]

Actually, OCPD comes in handy, when I am only able to do things that I have to do because I don't want to do anything of my own accord because of SPD haha

how do you motivate yourself to do things that you don’t really care about but know you need to do anyways? asking for a friend

[bpdcodone]

Going homeless in a week Jesus..

System is having more blackout switches

BPD is bad

Substance use is better because I need to be clear headed to pack up and find a place to go

STPD is moderate

[giritina]

i'm sure youve been asked 10000 times so if thats the case, just let me know and i'll go look myself! but do you have resources you recommend for schizophrenia or schizotypal? (or honestly just psychosis in general..) its really difficult to find anything that actually talks about anything beyond a breakdown of the standard symptoms

I actually don't get asked very often!! I hope I can help!

I made this post a while ago that links different therapy types and a really good academic paper collection.

I also absolutely love Ellen Saks "The Center Cannot Hold" and it helped me understand myself a lot better as well as showcasing amazing disability rights advocacy. I listened the the audio book which IS very fucked up and weirdly read, but it works.

I love the blogs @schizotaxic and @hauntedselves , their posts helped me a lot early on.

I also have my schizotypal tag that has a lot of analytical posts from all these sources

[redheadbigshoes]

I'm bi/pan both romantically and sexually, and I'm ambiamorous/polyam. So I do want to date many times when I don't want sectual acts. And many times I do love sectually without it being ever romantic or affectional.

But I'm also schizotaxic so anyways tied with mental health stuff

I think this is the difference people need to understand, something you want from attraction. Like I said on the post: wanting to only date people of a certain gender is a choice, you can decide to date (for example) only women and still be attracted to men. That choice doesn’t mean you’re not romantically attracted to men while you’re sexually attracted to them.

[the-idea]

Did schizotaxic delete?

I guess so. I saw them say they would stop posting and would delete at some point this year; I guess it happened sooner than I expected. :/

[lutravurr]

id be such a good girlfriend if i wasnt schizotaxic