#aromantic experiences

[mirokata]

I love the proud aromantic spirit going around this aromantic spectrum awareness week, but we don’t need love to loose for our happiness yknow

just like how aroallos don’t need love to win for us for their happiness (even if they might complain about it eg. “why don’t you have a partner yet”)

we don’t gotta keep saying “love loses” as if every single aromantic person out there doesn’t love love. some don’t, that’s true and valid. let me remind you of the main definition of the word: “a person who experiences little to no romantic attraction”

“little to no romantic attraction.”

it isn’t even about love in the first place, it’s about romantic attraction. there are many other forms of love out there whether we experience it or not, and some can be beautiful. so in my humble opinion, we don’t need to say “love loses” to feel confident and happy with my aromantic identity.

[littlelav107]

amatonormativity is when im disappointed that I can't say "he looks pretty cool" or "he's a nice person" or interact with boys or hold hands with anyone without my family assuming that I have a crush

like my family is incredible but bestie...I literally do not have a crush, I just really like having conversations with said person

[mirokata]

me fr but mostly with aromantism

like I unconsciously coped by thinking that everyone who talked about crushes and romance was immature

then as I grew older I started to feel like the immature one for not finding it in me to understand and be interested in those things 🤡

that’s why it hit so damn hard when the heartstopper exhibit person said “and then, freedom ✨”

now removing myself from all the romance hatred I brainwashed myself to have for years

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[sunbloomdew]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[our-arospec-experience]

Love makes us human? No. Chins. Chins make us human.

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[redysetdare]

The response to "ace people are just virgins who can't get laid!" Shouldn't be "ace people can still have sex!" but instead " being a virgin isn't a bad thing."

The response to "aro people are just heartless freaks!" Shouldn't be "aro people can still feel love!" And instead be "not feeling love or other emotions doesn't make you a bad person."

Instead of pushing the idea that aspec people can be "normal like allos" we should instead be trying to normalize aspec experiences. Yes aspec people can be normal because aspec identities are normal. Some aros fall in love. some aces have sex. but they should not be the only valid aspec experiences. We should not use these experiences to make the aspec identity more palatable to amatonormativity and allos.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Yeah, I know "not all aro/aces" and all, but please don't use "not all aro/aces" as an excuse to not explore anything exclusively aro/ace ever. Otherwise any trace of aro/aceness might end up effectively lost to fandom osmosis.

To sum up... If you wouldn't be homophobic that way, please don't be aphobic that way.

[leikeliscomet]

The aspec community REALLY needs to add intersecting identities to these analysis' instead of making general statements. How helpful is 'ace women are seen as pure because everyone thinks all women are asexual' when we look at the sexualisation of Black women and the Jezebel, the idea Black girls are 'fast' and the general sexualisation of women of colour e.g. spicy latina trope? Are we factoring in how the desexualization of women of colour e.g. the Mammy, the 'submissive' East Asian women trope, the virginity myth isn't acceptance of female asexuality? Does 'ace men are expected to be more sexual' factor in the sexualisation of Black men and other men of colour e.g. 'savage' Arab trope and the antiblack trope that they're inherently predatory? Or the desexualisation of East Asian men? How easily can we define the ace men v ace women experience at all if trans and non-binary aces are missing from most ace representation despite facing the brunt of anti ace discrimination? If we're solely defining these experiences by cis aces? How easily can aroallos 'just have sex' when you factor in the demonisation of gay sex, HIV/AIDS crisis and seraphobia and how this affects gay, lesbian, bi and pan aros? How easily can alloaces 'just partner up' when you factor in the ban of gay marriage that is still in many countries across the globe and the historical policing of 'homosexual behaviours' and this impacts gay, lesbian, bi and pan aces? And this isn't even getting into disability, religion etc. yet. When there's SO many factors that play into how an individual participates in sex and romance, or if they're even allowed to participate at all, how much can we clearly cut the aspec experience into alloace v aroace v aroallo. Or sex favourable v sex indifferent v sex repulsed. There's A LOT we can learn from each other.

[sadisthetic]

the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest

allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*

[mirokata]

Has anyone ever experienced what you think is a squish (basically a platonic crush) but instead of having the full fledged fluttery feelings you just feel. Empty.

Because just today I met the friend I thought I had a squish on with some elements of wanting physical and emotional closeness WITHOUT anything big or romantic or sexual. And as friends we stared into each other’s eyes (cuz the friend next to us told us to look into each others’ eyes lovingly for a funny photo) and held hands in the mall for a pretty long time and I thought by right that I was supposed to feel a 🥰🫨🫨💗🕊️💃✨✨ feeling but instead… there was nothing there.

Like. I just felt normal but with added thoughts about how I wanted to be feeling fluttery from it but I’m wasn’t. Yet I also didn’t want to feel anything because somehow I really ducking hate the idea of myself “succumbing” to this confusing shatty thing called romantic love. So I want it but I don’t and I don’t feel it yet I do and I love the idea but shame the reality. I don’t know…

Before I start rambling I genuinely want more thoughts on this feeling of feeling half-way…

Anyways. Is it even a squish at this point?? I feel like I’m in a half state. Maybe it’s just admiration for the person they are. I don’t ducking know. I hate that I don’t know. It makes me feel uncomfortable. As if my head hurts and my body just feels like slumping somewhere and my mind is tired so I just want to sleep but I CAN’T because it’s too clouded with this and other things yet empty I can’t I just. I don’t like this. Being aromantic is tiring and so is being human in general. Not all times tho. Maybe this is a dissociation problem or a general problem and not an aromantic-specific problem but it’s happening anyway so who cares what the reason is and uhhhh okay it’s getting very rambly in here so imma stop 🚶🚶

[our-aroace-experience]

Being AroAce and having aesthetic attraction is funny sometimes. I think a lot of people are attractive but I don’t want to do anything about that information.

aesthetic attraction can be super weird sometimes

[daybringersol]

some people on here need a gentle reminder that arospecs ARE aromantic. thats the point of the aromantic spectrum. that being aromantic.. is a spectrum. ive had demiromantic people ask me if they can call themselves aromantic. YES OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU ARE AROMANTIC. im sure some people choose to identify more as arospec than aromantic and thats fine, but in general, arospecs ARE aromantic, by virtue of being on the aromantic spectrum. like aromanticism is defined as little to none romantic attraction. the ‘little’ part of that is there for a reason.

[teleportzz]

[atomicraft]

i love you non sexual physical intimacy i love you touching someone because you want to feel the warmth of their body and the texture of their skin i love you tracing body lines soft and sharp i love you shoulder to shoulder hand on your knee reassuringly i love you hands under their shirt on a cold day i love you head leaning against someone’s chest i love you nude cuddling i love you tracing sharp back muscles i love you tracing fat rolls i love you touching someone’s whole body to commit the little details to memory in case you were to ever loose them i love you touch as a love language