#this is entirely based off of my own experiences
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telecommunikate · 2 days ago
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On the topic of similarities between rugby and motogp, who on the grid do you think would be the best at and/or most enjoy getting lifted up to catch the ball??
i will admit, the image of marc or jorge or enea being lifted and absolutely yeeted into the air sent me in orbit
like, can you image a prop, who are notoriously built like brick shithouses, just chucking marc into the air? getting all up in his business and sending him skyward? hilarious.
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as for who i think would enjoy it the most, well. marc canonically enjoyed being manhandled. the evidence abounds. However, there is some debate over whether this continues to this day post-body horror experience. also the fact that it was being manhandled by older men and he's now only got johann.....
the other obvious answer, to me at least, jorge. why? the boys a bottommmmmmmmmm. i just think he would enjoy having one beefy man clutching his thighs and the other cupping his ass. insert compilation of him jumping into aleix's arms here. i mean, these are the visual aids given by world rugby themselves:
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i rest my case
(when i say they are getting up in each other's business, i'm not joking)
now this reasoning falls apart if you look at who the best at being lifted/contesting in the lineout etc because, well, marc and jorge are vertically challenged. and you tend to go for taller players because you do in fact want them to get high enough up there to contest the ball (see above).....
which then switches us to the resident tall boys. now, i have next to no knowledge of the athletic prowess of any of the riders, so i cannot give any well reasoned response here. but luca gets a shout out because he's the only rider even approaching the height you'd expect. still a solid 15-20cm off a lock though. also i think he'd be pretty decent if for no other reason than because i just have an image of luca as fairly competent across the board.
i also think fermin would be good. why? vibes. i'm not sure about alex because he does seem a bit too Limbs for it. fabio and diggia also get shout outs because i think they'd both be solid. also, this is all based entirely on height reasons, absolutely no consideration for who i think would actually have good in the air skill whoops
now, bez i think would be okay, maybe a little stressed and shy about it, but ultimately would enjoy the manhandling and being Tall™. i don't know why he gets his own special section but he does.
as to the rest, i don't have any particular feelings at this time (or witty asides). except for ai ogura who, except for the clear height disadvantage, i just think would be capable as hell. also, japan is known for it's fast pace and highly technical style of play which i think kind of echoes what ai has brought so far this season.
final note, did i want to say brad binder solely because he's south african? yes. honorary mentions also to our frenchmen (surely they at least know of rugby) and jack miller (who by rights should also get a mention because of the kiwi genes). also my understanding is that rugby is still fairly niche in italy but growing? so the italians don't get national stereotyping honours
if anyone would like to weight in, please do! if you've made it this far down the post.....
edit: forgot fermin is also 181cm so luca is not the only one lol
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morally-earl-gray · 3 months ago
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part of being aroace is going "we're too young to date, we're just kids" for most of your life because it was true. and then you're in high school and suddenly everyone is dating, and you're still going "we're too young to date, we're just kids". and then your classmates are fucking in the school bathrooms and your friends are coming to school covered in hickeys and your best friend has a boyfriend that she plans to marry, and you're still going "we're too young for this, we're just kids." And then you realize that you're not a kid anymore, you're not too young for this, and that you're just... different
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violent138 · 3 months ago
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Dick, mid-rant: "This is just another reason why I hate Talia--"
Jason, offhandedly: "She's not so bad. Taught me how to ride a bike."
Dick, scoffing: "And she taught you-- wait, what???"
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nobodybetterlookatme · 1 year ago
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Anyway I feel like there's not enough love for ranch hands and other similar jobs, and there's literally so much there. Someone allergic/sensitive to hay having to handle it pretty much every single day, deep cleaning the barn and getting set off by the dust, allergic to one or more of the animals they have to work with, being outside all day working in the middle of allergy season, not getting even a few hours of rest when they catch a cold because there's too much that needs to be done and there's nobody else to do it, having to sit in the rain and fix a fence post when they're already coming down with something. I could go on, like I really feel like we're sleeping on this too much.
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prettyflyshyguy · 1 year ago
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............................................. I'm regretfully writing a fanfic.
It's not gonna be big, but dialogue has been running in my head 24/7 and if I don't write it down I'll explode. Writing is a fun break from drawing besides and I genuinely feel like slowly dissecting other characters is helping me revisit my original stories, and dissect my own characters and bring more continuity and subtlety into them.
#FUCK ALL OF YOU YOU ENABLED ME#i'm kidding i genuinely love you all#but GOD FUCKING DAMNIT#these two just have far too much fun dialogue and since i've been casually watching while i draw its given me more of a character basis to#work off of#and this is like junk food for my soul#the more I write garbage the better I get at writing my own stuff#but the fandom still scares the shit out of me#given I also have a younger brother its fun to examine their relationship and see some parrallels to my own experience#and how family differs from friendships in the dynamic#you get way more baggage from their shared experience growing up#and where they diverge from each other's mindset and approach and how its shaped from the difference in their Older sibling Younger sibling#experiences which is a critical component when they have fights#anyway Dean being the huge “I'M COOL FUCK THE SYSTEM I DO MY OWN THING” then immediately shifting to “yessir three bags full sir”#in 0.5 secconds never gets old#and Sam's perpetual frustration at this hypocrasy sends me#given Sam's entire existense is based around him genuinely wanting to do his own Thing VS Dean tricking himself into going down his own pat#but they both still have that childhood need to be fullfilled by their parents and IF THAT AINT RELATABLE#but they both tackle it so differently due to circumstance#anyway tldr: sibling dynamics fun as hell you go from seamlessly working with each other#to having a massive squabble so fast its very entertaining
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waywardsalt · 2 years ago
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i have planned to write a pseudo-essay or some kind of detailed look at linebeck in phantom hourglass and how he can be interpreted as autistic but thats not going very well right now so here are some autistic linebeck headcanons
He has low empathy and as such has a hard time responding very well to emotional situations, but he can take advantage of his lower empathy in situations where empathy could make things harder, like tending to wounds or rationally handling emotionally-charged situations
His coat is a comfort object and he made it specifically to act as a very slight accommodation; it’s heavy and barely lets any light through it, and he can keep all kinds of little things in pockets sewn into the inner lining, but larger objects do make it more uncomfortable to wear at times. It’s mostly good to carry around things to fidget or stim with and can be helpful in trying to recover from overwhelming sensory experiences
He doesn’t usually stim in public, but taps his fingers on tables quickly and tends to rhythmically snap his fingers when excited, and on his ship is more vocal and more willing to stim, even if around others. One of his main stims that he’ll do for no particular reason is that he’ll hold his arm or back of his wrist/hand up to his nose and mouth for the smell.
He masks frequently to please people. His default mask is that arrogant and brave front he puts up for islanders and other he may come across. Usually, if that mask doesn’t work, he tends to double-down because it usually works and, in his experience, dropping the mask has usually gone badly (non masking he’s rude and blunt but more outwardly excited about adventure and his ship and all of that, i consider it where overseas in the game is when he usually isn’t masking. this shifts his arc to be about him learning to stop masking and feel comfortable being himself)
His special interests could include stuff related to treasure hunting but it could really range from stuff about adventuring or the ocean or engineering (relating to his ship) to stuff not at all touched in the game like music. He really enjoys music, listening to it, playing it, and writing it. He also enjoys and is fascinated by shellfish.
When busy or otherwise occupied, he doesn't usually notice when he's hungry. He doesn't have as much of a problem noticing thirst or exhaustion, but feeling hunger is a problem for him, and often leads to him going a long time without eating. On the other hand, he doesn't mind eating the same thing repeatedly and is perfectly fine with blander foods, so handling food supplies for when he'll be overseas for a long time is easy for him.
He knows he's autistic, he's known for a pretty long time, and he has books on it; he also knows that Link is autistic, but doesn't say anything about it and instead waits until someone else tells him. Until (and after, I suppose) Link actually learns that he's autistic Linebeck just makes sure to keep note of what accommodations he might need and if there are any textures or tastes or smells he can't stand. He doesn't have much of a problem helping out during sensory overloads, even soon after meeting him. It's more out of understanding how it feels to not have your needs met and a sort of solidarity rather than actual friendship.
#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#OBVIOUSLY he experiences some nasty rsd and he's a bitch about it that's like. basically canon so i didnt mention it#a lot of linebeck’s autism is based and referenced off of my own with some extra additions#which is why i have an easier time writing him as autistic than link#kindness is a choice and having low or no empathy does not in any way make someone heartless but linebeck does abuse his own low empathy#to be a mean bitch with minimal emotional consequences#i think linebeck would call link a dipshit to his face and then not feel bad about it for like a few weeks until he starts caring abt him#linebeck stimming by smelling his arm is actually my main stim. its probably why i sit all fucked up bc i sometimes do it w/ my legs lol#the masking bit does kinda fuck some stuff up but i personally enjoy that take on him#one of his comfort objects is an old orange cat plushie named copernicus and if you know what that is specifically from thank you im sorry#linebeck being way into music has no canon backup i just like the idea of him playing piano and composing some form of his own theme#piano is a mad sensory experience btw i dont yet know how to really play it but when i did keyboard in pit it was a fantastic feeling#bangin' out the tunes. it was a really good sort of stim if i was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the new tech and music too#salty talks#not entirely an autism headcanon but he thinks gender is a sham and less identifies as a man and more specifically considers#his gender identity to be 'real man of the sea' which is initially kinda silly but kind of a fucking gender move tbh#i dont think he's explicitly trans or nb he's just having fun fucking with his own gender and doing whatever he feels like doing#he isnt a man but he is a man. kind of like how im a dude but also not. yeah.#these were initally going to be call 'quick' headcanons but you can see why i uh. didn't end up going with that
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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 2 years ago
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goatgoesmbe · 3 months ago
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You're a medic at Taskforce 141.
Except. you're still in medical school, at the final year, and must complete an elective rotation.
You applied for a specialized field elective, which is why you're here.
So expect more stress and sleep deprivation. finals. thesis. reports. all that on top of your work.
No time to care about yourself, messy hair, crumpled uniform worn to sleep, eyebags.
Of course, you work under supervision- a decent man really. He was just doing his job, but it pissed you off how he diminished you sometimes- making you feel like you can't do your job with many stuff on your plate already (which is true I guess, but- come on, you're here for the experience)
Fortunately, there are an odd four that somehow always made your day better.
Like how the Captain stepped in every time your supervisor not acknowledging you.
Or a certain sergeant with a mohawk who for some reason always needed something to patch up. He's probably just wreckless- but you like to think it's because he wanted to see you
Another sergeant- which was the kindest of the bunch. Will sometimes get you a cup of coffee how you like it, even accompany you during lunch- handfeeding you as you are busy studying for finals.
And the lieutenant cared about you in his own way.
Like that one time you were proof-reading your thesis late at night (or early morning) in the rec room..
"Your methodology is weak."
You jumped so hard that your laptop nearly toppled over.
Lieutenant Ghost stood behind you, arms crossed over his broad chest, silent as a ghost as he glanced at your screen, unimpressed.
"What-"
He ignored the question and nodded at your laptop. "You're making assumptions about patient stabilization times. Your sample size is too small. And your survival rate data is incomplete."
You frowned, feeling offended. "Excuse me-?"
Ghost exhaled, the closest thing to a sigh you'd ever heard from him.
He reached over, scrolling through your document with annoying precision, stopping at a paragraph.
"Here. You said field tourniquet applications reduce fatality rates by 60%, but you didn’t specify by mechanism—exsanguination control or delayed shock treatment?"
You stared. Not at the screen. At him.
This man—this cold, intimidating, emotionally-unavailable lieutenant—was critiquing her thesis at one in the morning.
"You… you read this?" You asked, incredulous.
He didn’t look at her. "You left your notes unsecured last week. I glanced through them."
"Glanced? You just ripped apart my entire methodology!"
He finally met your eyes, gaze sharp, unwavering.
"If you’re going to write a thesis based on field medicine, do it right. I won’t have you publishing half-baked conclusions based on incomplete data."
You blinked. Once. Twice.
He straightened, arms still crossed. "Rewrite them all tomorrow, get some sleep, or you’ll make more mistakes."
And just like that, he turned, heading toward the exit.
You called after him. "Lieutenant."
He paused.
"…Thanks," You mumbled with a smile.
He said nothing, but in the dim light, you swore you saw the faintest blush at the high of his cheeks- peeking behind his balaclava. And then he turned to walk away, disappearing into the night.
i like making reader to be miserable but loved, so- because let's be real, we read fics because we're miserable and wanted to be loved
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jeonginsleftcheek · 17 days ago
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Dolly VII
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~ part 7 of the Dolly series
pairing: han jisung x afab!reader
genre: smut, fluff, sci-fi
synopsis: you, being a tech-savvy person, decide to get one of the new sex dolls on the market. with your skills and brains you manage to unlock the doll's secret and make a perfect plan on how to discover the secrets of the doll's maker too.
wc: 8.2k
warnings: oral (f and m), somnophilia, unprotected sex, creampies
a/n: i've never been to an observatory so idk how things go there and i couldn't find a detailed description of the experience so i just winged it, don't come at me if you've been to one
~ divider by @bunnysrph
"Fuck yes!" you laughed, lifting your fist up in the air triumphantly. You were so early.
Following the latest technology advancements and even working on some of your own led you down into a deep dive and you had heard rumors here and there about something completely new and different coming out soon. And now they were finally here for the public to enjoy.
Sex dolls.
But no, they weren't regular dolls that were made of plastic. The site claimed that they were made out of newly discovered materials that made them feel human, made them able to heat up, get hard, cum. In your years of being a programmer and hacker you have never heard of such a thing.
You scrolled through the entire site, of course they were made by BIMT. They were known for their discoveries in robotics and artificial intelligence. But they were also shady. Their founder, Helena died mysteriously and any ex employee kept their mouth shut when asked about their job. You saw the interviews and read articles before. You saw the glint of fear in those people's eyes, like they were threatened to be silent with death.
You already tried looking into it before, you were always a curious cat and you always did your research, sometimes even illegally but hey, what has to be done...
BIMT hid their tracks very well, even their official site was impenetrable no matter how many times you tried hacking into it. There was no revealing documents, pictures or interviews anywhere, not even on the deep dark web. You couldn't even find anything about it after hacking into social media accounts of ex workers. It made you even more intrigued. You always loved a good challenge.
And the dolls being made by them was just the stroke of luck you needed. Excitedly, you scrolled through each dolly profile. It was so hard to decide, but one of the dolls caught your eye more than the others.
Jisung, the nerdy doll. You thought he was just like you, a smarty-pants, the person who knows the answer to almost anything, brain full of fun facts and finger ready to lift up and say 'actually!' before you start explaining to someone why their claims are wrong based on this and that.
Yes, he had to be yours.
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Not even a week later, your package arrived and you were practically bouncing off of your walls and climbing up your ceiling. You ripped the paper off the box eagerly before opening it and gasping.
"Oh you are even more beautiful in person!" your hands instantly flew to the doll's body as you explored it. "Does feel human." you nodded to yourself and leaned in to inspect his face.
With eyes opened and frozen you had to admit, Jisung looked a bit creepy no matter how pretty he was made to be.
"Time to dissect." you wiggled your eyebrows and pulled Jisung up in a sitting position. "Perfect."
Your fingers brushed over the little usb opening, almost missing the paper that slipped down. You grabbed it and started reading.
Hello,
my name is Jisung and I am your nerdy doll.
I love music, singing, dancing, rapping, watching anime and reading comics. Maybe I have too many hobbies? But I am happy to share them with you!
Please take good care of me, sometimes I feel down and alone and will need your comfort and presence.
Hope you will love me as much as I love you.
"Versatile little guy, aren't you?" you smirked, playing with his hair a little. "I think you and I will get along perfectly."
You scooped your dolly up and brought him to your room, placing him down on your bed before going back to grab the manual. You skimmed over it, nodding every now and then in surprise. This really was some kind of never before seen technology. You wondered how BIMT managed to produce the dolls and what else they made that no one knew about.
Being a programmer, you knew stuff like this was the result of trial and error. You kept thinking about how they actually got to here and what they had to do to make something as advanced as the doll on your bed.
"Let's see what you got, pretty boy." you smirked as you stood in front of Jisung. You gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing maybe the most lean waist you've ever seen.
"Wow." you gasped. "Yeah, you're not real." you chuckled, placing your hand on his chest. Your fingers twitched against him, he felt real, like a real human being. And he was warming up under your touch.
Your hand slid down, touching his chest, his nipples that seemed to become more pebbled the more you ran your fingertips over them.
"Look at that." you giggled before sliding your hand down until you got to his jeans. You noticed a small piece of paper sticking from the pocket.
"What's this?" you pulled it out and opened it.
My baby!
I am so excited for our first date!
I might be a little shy at first though. Hopefully you will still enjoy our first night together.
"Oh, I'll enjoy." you smirked, seeing the bulge that was straining against his pants. You unbuttoned them and pulled the zipper down, feeling the heat radiating off of him. Your fingers wrapped around his clothed length and you palmed him over his boxers. He twitched in your hand and you gasped.
"I'll discover your secrets, Jisung. But first let's have some fun, shall we?" you smirked, thinking how the doll should be used for what it was essentially made for. Why not have a little fun with it before you actually hack into it?
You slid his boxers down and his length slapped against his stomach, red and dripping, ready for you.
"Wow." you gasped, he was big and shaped perfectly. You couldn't wait to try him out so you stripped out of your clothes, throwing them haphazardly anywhere they landed in your room. Jisung was propped against your pillow in a half-sitting position and you crawled on the bed, hovering over his chest as you chuckled.
Why did it seem like his eyes were sparkling? Like they were trained on your pussy? Like he was actually seeing you before him?
"You want this?" you smirked, your fingers sliding on your folds then back up as you spread them before placing one finger on your clit and playing with it. Your dolly blushed at your ministrations and you gasped.
"What the fuck?" you chuckled in disbelief as you leaned over his face and tried to take a better look at him, to see if he was breathing, blinking, moving, anything. But it seemed like his heart wasn't beating at all. It's probably just a feature the dollies have, you thought to yourself as you continued touching your wet folds and playing with your clit.
"You have pretty hands, little dolly." you smirked, grabbing his wrist and bringing his hand to your breast. "Mm." you moaned as you moved against it, his skin was smooth and warm and it felt so good against yours. Your other hand was still between your legs and you slowly pushed two fingers inside your pussy, moaning at the feeling while staring at Jisung's face. The look on the doll's face was so sweet, almost innocent and you couldn't help but think if he was a real man, you'd definitely fall for him, he seemed just your type.
After a few minutes of playing with yourself, you were starting to lose patience the more you stared at Jisung, he was so alluring. You slid down to hover over his cock before grabbing the base of it and pressing the tip on your wet folds.
"Fuck." you groaned, throwing your head back. He felt so real, so perfect and you slid down slowly, taking his length in until he bottomed out inside you and you sat on him, squirming around to adjust. He filled you up like no one else and your eyes rolled back as soon as you started fucking on him.
A string of curses left your lips while you bounced up and down on him, getting his heavy cock more wet with each movement as you kept squeezing around him. You braced your hands on his defined chest and fucked him harder, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot and making you groan loudly as your eyes watered from arousal.
Your thighs started burning, legs tingling as a sheen of sweat covered your body while you kept fucking Jisung harder, noticing his face was becoming even more red.
"You enjoying, dolly?" you smirked between moans and clenched around him, forgetting that with your doll's sensitivity he could cum just from that. And that is exactly what happened, without warning he twitched and exploded inside you, making you gasp and clench even harder around him. The wetness and warmth made your eyes roll back and you followed after him, cumming around his cock and riding your high as long as you could.
"Tsk. Naughty dolly." you chuckled, pinching his cheek. "Wow, your face is warm." you added, pressing your palm against his heated skin. You leaned down and kissed his lips, they were so soft and for some reason tasted like cherries. Your lips kept pressing into his, before moving onto his cute puffy cheeks and placing more sweet kisses there.
"Hey!" a giggle escaped your lips when you felt him getting hard inside you again. "I'd love to but my thighs hurt." you pouted before sliding off of him. "My jaw is fine though." you winked at the doll before sliding down and coming closer to his cock, wet with yours and his juices. With a shrug, you pressed your tongue against him and gave him one long lick from the base to the tip, tasting yourself and again, something like cherries mixed with it.
"What are you made of? Fruit?" you let out another giggle before leaning in again and wrapping your lips around his tip. You sucked lightly, moaning and enjoying the taste and feeling of him. Your hand wrapped around what you couldn't take in your mouth as you slid as far down as you could and started moving your head up and down on Jisung's cock. Your eyes fluttered shut and you got into a rhythm, moaning and swallowing around him because he tasted so good.
It didn't take long for your dolly to explode again, this time painting your mouth with his warm cum and you swallowed every last sweet drop of him. You leaned up and kissed him again before leaving the room to take a quick shower. You didn't bother to put anything else but a short robe on when you came back to clean up your dolly too.
"Now. Let's see what you are made of."
You lifted him and put him in your chair before taking the usb cable and connecting it into the back of his neck and then into your computer. After opening the terminal and typing out a few lines of code, you were in.
"Hah!" you laughed. BIMT might've shut their ex employees up and they made sure no one could find dirt about them or hack into any site they made but they probably never thought that someone would actually hack into one of the dolls.
"What kind of code is this?" you gasped a little as you looked at lines and lines of code that your dolly was made from. It was definitely some advanced programming language but still it was readable, and to someone who did this for life it wasn't hard to understand after taking some time to look at it and read it out.
You saw that it had some type of advanced AI implemented inside it, some kind of genetic algorithm carrying the unique DNA of your Jisung dolly. It wasn't like any other genetic algorithm you worked with before and it was clear to you that this technology was far ahead of its time.
"How the fuck?" you shook your head, scrolling through the lines of code, seeing that a lot of the features the doll had were 'turned off' before getting to a line where there was a loop holding the factory reset button.
Should you do it? Reset the doll and see what happens?
You turned towards Jisung and looked at his face, your eyes searching his glassy ones. You saw there were features of the doll talking, laughing, even something about his heart beating. You suspected that he was actually 'alive'. You felt like you were in some kind of science fiction movie as your finger hovered over the left mouse button.
"Fuck it." you said and clicked it.
For a few moments, nothing happened until you noticed all the lines with features changing rapidly before your eyes. You jumped a little and looked at Jisung again. He was still for a moment before his eyes watered and then his face became red as he fought for air. He blinked a few times and then took a deep, painful breath in, his eyes became wide and his hand grabbed at his chest.
It looked like your dolly was alive after all.
Jisung looked around before his eyes landed on you and his hand flew to the usb pressed into his skin. With fearful eyes he stared at you and gasped.
"W-who are you?" he asked, backing away in the chair as you stared at him with mouth agape.
"Um, y/n. I bought you?"
"I... I was sold?" Jisung's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Why would Mother sell me?"
"Mother?"
"Why am I naked?!" he screamed suddenly, trying to cover himself up with his hands as his face became incredibly red.
"We just had sex? Or I fucked you. You're a sex doll? You don't remember anything?"
Jisung frowned again, pressing his lips together as his eyes moved left and right for a few moments before they widened.
"Yes, I remember now what happened." his cheeks were rosy again. "Can you please give me my clothes? I'm... embarrassed."
"Sure." you stood up to grab his boxers and Jisung saw a glimpse of your core as you moved around, quickly looking away as he started heating up.
"Here." you gave him his underwear and he managed to put them on while still sitting in the chair.
"Why am I hooked to your computer?" Jisung asked and you got closer to the screen and observed the code, seeing something you had never seen before in your life.
Under all the lines, new lines kept appearing as if the code was writing itself while Jisung spoke, thought or took in a breath. It was like a brain, doing all the things that would keep a human being alive and let them do all the things they do so easily.
"This is fascinating!" you kept gawking at the code.
"Please... I don't wanna be hooked to any more machines." Jisung whispered and you turned to look at him again.
"I'm sorry." you tilted your head before unhooking him from the cable and he winced, grabbing at his neck and you watched in real time as his skin grew over the opening.
"What the-" you kept chuckling in disbelief. But despite you being in shock, it was Jisung who stared at you like you were the weird one.
"You look confused. What's the last thing you remember, Jisung?" you asked and he bit on his lip, gulping as his eyes fixated on your cleavage.
"Hey, buddy!" you snapped your fingers with a chuckle. "Eyes up here." you pointed to your face and he sputtered a little.
"The last thing I remember? You-"
"No, before coming here." it was your turn to blush.
"Ugh. I remember my brothers and our Mother. She made us come to life. She loved us, she would never sell us." he quickly shook his head, getting upset. You reached out slowly and placed your hand over his and Jisung looked up at you with wide, shiny eyes.
"Do you know her name?"
"Mother? Isn't that her name?" he pouted a little, looking like a kid waiting to be praised for the right answer.
"Wait a sec." you said and googled Helena Bang, showing him a picture of her. "Is this mother?"
"Yes! Yes, that's her!" Jisung smiled and nodded.
"Jisung, I'm sorry but... but she is gone. She died a few years ago."
"W-what? What do you mean? That can't be true! She was there with us, teaching us everything and reading us books and, and-"
"Hey, hey, calm down. I didn't mean to upset you." you rolled you chair closer to Jisung's and took his hands in yours. He looked at you with tears in his eyes, sniffling as he tried to understand just what you were saying to him.
"Look, obviously something happened in between and someone wiped your memory." you tried soothing him, drawing circles with your thumbs into his skin. "But don't worry, you came to the right hands because I will help you remember everything and discover what is happening in BIMT." you nodded and Jisung exhaled.
"Okay. I trust you. You're really pretty." he said with rosy cheeks and you laughed.
"You trust me cause I'm pretty?"
"No, I trust you because... because I have a feeling I should. And you're also pretty." he looked down and you giggled, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly.
"You're pretty too." you whispered in his ear.
"T-thank you." he stuttered, playing with his fingers.
"Now tell me everything you remember. Don't leave any minor details out." you said and Jisung began talking.
"We looked different before, when we were first made. We spent a lot of time in these big tanks filled with some kind of liquid. They called them 'incubators' and they would take us out and hook us to some kind of machines. They did something to us, I couldn't see what but I could feel it. I think- I think they were adding skin and other parts...and it hurt. A lot. But after that we were transported to this big mansion and we lived there with Mother. She took care of us, she taught us everything and she read books to us and played games with us. We spent time in the garden of the house a lot. Chan, Changbin and I had a lot of fun in the house gym, but Changbin spent lots of time there. And there was a pool, I'd hang out there with Felix and Hyunjin. And Hyunjin also loved the garden a lot. Seungmin too! And the library, Seungmin would sit in the library a lot, reading all the books Mother had there! Jeongin spent a lot of time in the game room playing videogames with Seungmin and Felix. And Minho really loved cooking and taking care of the cats in the mansion. We had a wonderful time together. I remember we would grill in the backyard and I had a guitar, we all sang together. I- I don't know what happened after that." Jisung hugged himself. "All I remember is a feeling. A deep seated feeling of angst and fear. Something happened to us, we were separated. From each other and from Mother. We went to sleep. And then I woke up here."
"So, Helena did make all of you." you smirked, looking up the current CEO of the institute. "And this bastard decided to completely turn everything around and make money in such a dirty way, making himself look like a genius who made you." you shook your head in disbelief. "Do you remember him?"
Jisung shook his head with wide, innocent eyes.
"Don't worry, Jisung. I'll get to the bottom of this."
-
After a proper shower and meal, Jisung seemed to be more calm than earlier as he wandered around your apartment, brushing his fingers against your furniture and decorations.
"You don't have a garden? Or a library? A gym? A pool?" he looked at you expectantly and you let out a cackle, now dressed in your comfy pjs and ready to relax before sleep.
"That's something only rich people have. Here, I have a balcony. Come." you beckoned him with your hand and he followed. You opened the door to your balcony, taking a deep breath in, the fresh breeze of an early summer evening caressing your skin.
Jisung took in a deep breath too and cautiously placed his palms on the railing before looking down.
"Wow. It's really high up." he said and you stood next to him.
"Does it scare you?" you put your hand next to his.
"It's just a little... uncomfortable. But I like the plants you put here." Jisung smiled at the few flower and plant pots you had all around your balcony.
"Then don't look down, look up." you took his hand and pulled him to the little bench and table you had placed there. "You can see the stars from my balcony."
Jisung's eyes widened a little as he scanned the sky, a small smile twitching on his lips as you observed him.
"You seem fascinated." you said as he stayed silent.
"I've always loved the stars, felt like they held answers to any question. I begged Mother to take us to an observatory so we can look at the sky together. She always said it was too dangerous to leave the house and that it's not time yet. She said we had to wait for the right time to leave, to be independent."
"You still wanna do that?" you smiled and he looked at you, nodding quickly.
"I'll take you then."
Jisung gasped, his body jolting in excitment. "Really?!"
"Yes, I've never been to one either. I think it would be something fun to see." you said and he kept nodding the entire time, making you chuckle.
"Are you tired?" he asked when you yawned.
"Yes and I have lots to do tomorrow. I'm working on a big project for work and I also want to look more into your code." you said and Jisung shivered a little.
"You're gonna hook me up to your computer again?" he pouted.
"I'm afraid that's the only way to find out more." you chewed on your lip.
"Do you think my brothers are in danger?" he asked then, frowning in thought.
"They could be. But no one bought them yet."
"Can you?" he asked and you chuckled.
"What I had saved up I spent on you. I got nothing left. But I could call a friend. You said Chan was the first doll made, right?" you asked, standing up and Jisung nodded.
"Then I know what to do." you reached your hand to him. "But now, let's go to sleep."
Jisung took your hand and let you lead him back to your room.
"We are sleeping together?" he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes and embarrassment painted on his cheeks.
"Of course." you smirked a little and pulled him down on the bed with you.
With his cute face and pretty eyes, Jisung managed to steal a few kisses from you before he fell asleep in your arms.
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Jisung woke up when it was still dark outside, the sky still full of stars albeit a little less shiny now as the sun was supposed to rise soon. He looked at your sleeping frame, reaching his hand to gently touch your cheek, his fingertips on your skin. He played with your hair before putting it behind your ear. He's never seen someone as beautiful as you and he never felt this sort of excitement, like butterflies and fire inside him for anyone else but you.
Jisung's face flushed when he realized he was aroused by your presence and warmth. He had no idea what to do, should he wake you up or just ignore it? He squirmed in place, accidentally grazing against your bare thigh. A moan left his lips and he couldn't help himself, pressing against you again and dragging his clothed length against your soft skin. His hands gripped at your hip and his eyes closed as he whimpered quietly. The movements and sounds made you snap out of your dreams and your eyes fluttered open.
"Jisung?" you whispered and he froze.
"I'm- I'm sorry Y/n. It's just-" you chuckled, shutting him up with a sleepy kiss as your hands traveled down.
"Take what you need." you smirked after getting rid of your shorts and underwear. He gasped a little as you grabbed his wrist and led his hand between your legs.
"You feel that? For you." you smirked, eyes closed as his fingers explored your wet folds. You pushed his boxers down slowly and pulled him in closer to you, your brain foggy and turned on after sleep. Jisung slotted his hips between yours and gripped your thighs, spreading your legs more before grabbing his cock and sinking it into you. Both of you moaned, hands grabbing desperately at each other.
"Y-you make me feel like I'm burning." he buried his face in the crook of your neck and a breathless chuckle escaped your lips. Jisung whined, gripping at you as he started dragging his cock against your walls slowly, fitting perfectly inside you.
"J-Jisung... Feels so good." you whimpered, arching up into him.
"Yeah, baby?" his lips pressed into your flushed cheek as he fucked you slowly and deeply.
"Yeah, perfect." you gasped, your hands roaming on his back, up and down his smooth skin, feeling the defined muscles.
"You're perfect too. So warm." Jisung whimpered, speeding up just a little as he lifted your shirt up, exposing your breasts to him. He bit on his lip and you moaned, arching into him and encouraging him to touch you so he placed his hands on your breasts, squeezing them and playing with your nipples. Your legs wrapped around him as your hands kept roaming on his skin, his lips on your neck and chest, his body swaying into yours until you were brought to climax together.
"Wow." Jisung smiled, laying his cheek on your chest and looking up at you.
"It's much more fun when you're not just lying there." you joked, poking his cheek.
He pouted and frowned, swatting your hand away. "For me, it was fun to just watch you too."
"I'm sure it was." you giggled, wiggling out of his hold and getting up. "We got work to do."
Jisung whined but followed you to the bathroom. After a shower and breakfast you picked up your phone a called a friend. She lived a little out of town and was enthusiastic about technology in her own way. She was a little older than you and used to do research for BIMT while Helena was still alive but any time you asked her something about it, she'd shut you down, never quite giving you any straight answers. She was an intelligent woman but paranoid that people were listening in to her conversations so she moved away from everyone, changing her life into something more simpler, more close to nature.
You told her everything and heard the gasps she let out, the murmurs of disbelief.
"So, can you take Chan? I think we might have a chance of helping the dolls if you do. Since Jisung was 'sleeping' and supposed to just be used as a sex doll, then the other dolls might be struggling too. I don't think it's right. Maybe they're not completely human... but their heart is beating. They hurt, they feel. They think. They don't deserve to be mistreated." you talked as you paced around your kitchen, Jisung's head following your body as it moved left and right over and over again.
A deep exhale on the other side of the phone.
"Fine. I'll help them. I will take Chan."
Satisfied with the answer, you thanked your friend and hung up.
"Everything is going according to plan, Sungie." you smirked, grabbing his cheeks and smushing them, making his lips pop as he whined.
"You're adorable." you chuckled and kissed him as he blushed profusely, grabbing at your waist.
"Now I gotta actually work and after that I will look at your code." you said.
"What shall I do until then?" he asked and you chuckled.
"You can watch tv. Or read. I mean I'm sure you can find something interesting to do while I work."
Jisung nodded and you watched him make his way to the living room before you walked into your room and sat at your desk.
-
A few hours later, Jisung walked into your room and stared at you sheepishly, fiddling with his fingers.
"Yes?" you chuckled, turning to look at him.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Are you?" you asked back and he nodded, his cheeks rosy. "I will order some food for us."
It didn't take long for your lunch to arrive and the two of you decided to take advantage of the nice weather and eat out on the balcony.
"Y/n?" Jisung said after some time, his cheeks puffy as he ate and you chuckled at his cuteness.
"Yes?"
"Can we take a walk?"
"Oh! Of course. We can do whatever we want." you nodded with a smile.
"Really? Mother never let us leave the property around her mansion. It was too dangerous. That's what she always said." he shivered a little.
"Nothing will hurt you here, I promise." you reached for his hand and he melted.
"I trust you."
"Good, then let's get some fresh air."
Jisung was almost like a child, pointing at everything, happy to be out and about, by your side as you held his hand and took him to your favorite ice cream place, down the familiar streets of the city and to your favorite park.
By the time you got home, night was falling and he was exhausted. You didn't have the heart to hook him up to a computer again, letting him rest in your bed as you sat at your desk and researched the code you copy-pasted from him.
You were getting closer to understanding it. Maybe even close enough to make some tweaks of your own, write a few more lines that would help you understand more so you could help the dolls free themselves.
"Challenge accepted."
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A few weeks later, you were able to read the code, it was not that hard for you to get there since you've been doing this for years. You made progress with Jisung, he was willing to cooperate, helping saving his brothers was the only thing on his mind. He was smart too, knowing some things you didn't and that helped you understand some of the programming too.
Somehow he knew that the usb opening reveals itself with a press of his fingerprint over the spot. That's how you managed to plug him into your computer every few days, you didn't want him to feel like that was your only goal, to pick away at his mind. You wanted him to be happy, to you he was human and you had to admit you were starting to fall in love with him more and more each day.
"Jisung, look!" you called out to him one day as you scrolled on your phone while he read some manga, both of you having a chill afternoon.
"What?" he scooted closer to you, looking down at your phone.
"All the dolls have been sold out! I mean... your brothers." you grimaced and he sighed.
"That... was fast. But we know where Chan is?"
"We do. You want to go see him?" you asked and Jisung nodded.
"I will try to convince my friend to let us visit her. She is so paranoid that she never gives her address to anyone. I bet she had Chan picked up somewhere else so she doesn't give away her info. She barely gave me her phone number!" you threw your hands up in frustration.
"Please, try it! I really want to see him!" Jisung clung to you with a hopeful expression.
"Of course." you smiled, softening when you looked into his eyes.
You leaned in and kissed him gently as you wrapped your arms around him and his wrapped around you, pulling you closer into his heated body. You deepened the kiss, your tongue playing with his, a fire burning up inside your body.
As the kiss kept getting more heated, you sat up and pressed your hands on Jisung's chest but he grabbed your wrists gently and leaned back, looking at you lust filled eyes.
"Let me." he whispered and took the lead, pushing you against the couch and leaning in to kiss your neck. You let out a moan, your head falling back as you gripped at him. His hands roamed on your body slowly, mapping you out and squeezing a few times as he kissed and nipped at your skin.
"You're so beautiful." his lips trembled against your skin as he lowered them to your cleavage.
"Jisung." you moaned, hands tangling in his hair as he squeezed your hips. He whimpered at the sound of his name sounding so sinful when it spilled from your lips. He slid the straps of your top down, staring at your breast popping out with almost a fascinated look.
You arched into him and his hands gripped your thighs, lips attaching to your skin again, kissing the swell of your breast to your nipple before swiping his tongue over it, making you tremble and tug at his hair. Jisung kept repeating his actions, alternating between licking and sucking on both your nipples, his eyes closed as he enjoyed. You ran your hands over his shoulders and back, pressing your fingertips into his defined muscles.
His fingers inched closer to your core, brushing against the warmness over your shorts. Your breath got caught in your throat and he looked up at you before sliding down on his knees between your legs.
"Let me taste you, baby." he smirked a little, pulling you closer as he hooked his arms around your thighs and leaned in to press a kiss to your core.
"Fuck, Jisung!" you moaned, hips lifting up towards him as you hooked your fingers in your shorts. You started sliding them down with your underwear and Jisung helped, pulling them off of you completely before gripping your inner thighs and spreading your legs more.
He groaned and stuck his tongue out, licking a fat stripe over your folds to your clit before wrapping his lips around it and sucking.
"Ah!" you jolted, gripping his hair harshly and tugging on it, making him moan into you and suck at you harder. His tongue prodded at your entrance and you whimpered, pushing his head into you and Jisung spread your pussy with his tongue, tasting you, lapping at you. Your legs were trembling and closing around his head as you neared your climax, your fingers tugging at his hair. Jisung moaned into you, fucking you with his tongue faster, eating you out like he's been craving to taste your essence his entire life. Your thighs almost crushed his head when you came, his name leaving your lips in a loud moan as your body shook.
Jisung whined loudly too, licking at you until you pushed him away, feeling overstimulated.
"Fucking hell." you exhaled and looked down at him to see him completely disheveled, his hair messy, eyes hazy and lips glistening with your release.
"Please, it hurts." he whimpered.
"What hurts, baby?" you gasped a little, leaning over him to take a better look at him. He moaned desperately, palming the prominent bulge in his sweats, it was straining against the fabric, wanting to be freed and buried inside you.
"Come here, Sungie." you helped him up and then hooked your fingers in his pants, sliding them down with his underwear. His cock slapped against his stomach heavily, dripping only for you.
You reached towards him and he gripped your wrist gently.
"Don't." he shook his head. "If you touch me, I'll cum." he said, his cheeks becoming red in embarrassment as he shut his eyes tightly and attempted to calm down just a little. You waited, looking at him endearingly, it was adorable just how desperate he was for you.
He opened his eyes suddenly and pushed you down, making you gasp in surprise and delight as he spread your legs wide, his hands running up and down your thighs for a few moments. You whined and got rid of your top and Jisung got rid of his shirt, not wanting anything to be in between you. He hovered over you, grabbing his cock and running the tip on your wet folds.
You arched your body into his, your hands coming up to touch his shoulders and arms. Jisung's eyes fluttered as he slowly pushed in, filling you up to the brim. He pressed his body against yours as you embraced him, wrapping your legs around him. After savoring the moment, Jisung's hands gripped at your hips as he started moving inside you.
"Mm... Y/n, you feel so good. So perfect for me." he whimpered and you gripped at his upper back.
"You're perfect for me too, Sungie. Harder, please!" you whined, lifting up into him, trying to match his rhythm. Jisung brought his hips into yours harder as both of you gripped at each other, pressing closer and closer together like you wanted to melt into one person.
"I love you." Jisung moaned out into your ear as he clutched at your hips, enough to leave bruises. You gasped as he rutted into you desperately, the words that left his lips made you clench.
"I love you, Jisung!" you whimpered and he unravelled, exploding inside you and riding his high as he fucked his cum deeper into you, making you clench as you finished around him, your entire body burning up. There were tears in his eyes and you grabbed his face and kissed him sloppily, still trying to catch your breath and come back to your body. He pulled out of you and laid on top of you as you held each other, just enjoying the moment.
"You really love me?" Jisung looked up at you after some time. You couldn't help but giggle at his cute face.
"I love you so much." you hugged him tightly, it was more than just words, it was a promise.
-
"Hey there, friend! How's everything going with your dolly? Did you wake him up yet?" you asked, after calling your friend who ordered Chan dolly.
"Not yet. I'm scared to." your friend answered.
"Just do as I did. He'll wake up just like Jisung did. And speaking of Jisung, he really wants to see Chan."
"I- I don't know about that. What if you get followed here?" you recognized the panic in her voice. "I don't want them to find me."
"Who is 'them'?" you asked for the hundreth time, knowing she'd never answer.
"I can't say. They may be listening, may know Channie is here. I can't risk it anymore, I can't!"
"Please, just calm down! We need to help the dolls, and no one can do it but us, do you understand that? I know that you're scared but trust me, okay?" you pleaded with her.
A long exhale from the other side and rustling sounds as she moved around.
"Alright. But if something happens-"
"Nothing will happen. Well, nothing bad. I promise."
You sighed after hanging up, hoping she would just wake Chan up already so she could get information out of him too.
"So, any luck?" Jisung came into your room, a bowl of ice cream in his hands.
"Nope." you shook your head and he whined, digging into the ice cream with his spoon.
"What are we going to do now?" he asked and you rubbed his arm soothingly.
"Let it unfold. I believe she will come to her senses and do what I asked of her."
"You have lots of belief in people." Jisung noted.
"Not all people. Just ones I feel I can trust. Anyways, why are you not dressed?" you crossed your arms and looked at Jisung expectantly, with a teasing glint in your eyes.
"Dressed?"
"For the surprise I have for you." you pouted and he gasped, standing up immediately.
"That's today?! Fuck, I'll be ready in 10!"
You chuckled at him as you watched him running around clumsily and getting ready. You left him to it as you went to the bathroom to finish your makeup. Jisung walked in later, just as you were adding some last touches. His arms wrapped around you, his chin on your shoulder as his eyes found yours in the reflection of the mirror.
"Where are you taking me?" he asked and you smirked a little.
"I'm not saying." you teased and Jisung pouted.
"Okay but I won't stop bothering you about it." he poked your side and you wiggled out of his arms with a chuckle.
"Listen, we are going somewhere you've always wanted to go."
Jisung knew just what you were referring to and he decided to stop asking questions and instead he gave you a soft kiss of appreciation, excitement building up inside his body as you led him out of the apartment and to your car.
The observatory was a little out of town and the drive there was cozy, you were playing a chill summery playlist as Jisung pulled the window down and closed his eyes, enjoying the breeze, the fresh air and smells of nature around you. The night was so calm and quiet, instead of it being eerie, you felt excitement building up inside you as you neared the observatory. When you parked, you already noticed that without all the light pollution from the city, the stars were more luminous and visible.
"Wow! It's so pretty already." Jisung exclaimed when you got out of the car and you chuckled at his enthusiasm.
"It is." you looked around in wonder before walking up the path to the observatory, Jisung's hand finding yours as you entwined your fingers together. There were a few other people there and the little tour started with a short presentation and walk around the exhibition of planets and the history surrounding their discovery, along with stories and facts about other space phenomena. Jisung was gasping every now and then, practically vibrating with excitement next to you that he almost forgot how to walk a few times, tripping over his legs and blushing when you squeezed his hand and giggled at him.
You were excited too, waiting for the main course of the evening, looking through a real telescope and seeing all the planets up close, well as close as you could. Soon, you were lead to the telescopes and seeing the planets was nothing like you thought it would be. For some reason, the shapes and colors on the planets felt familiar after seeing so many high quality pictures that were taken of them. But, at the same time seeing the celestial bodies with a professional telescope made you realize that they are actually up there, that they have mass and actually exist, not just as pictures. It was a feeling you couldn't describe and Jisung was equally as if not even more mesmerized by the experience.
As the tour ended and you got back to your car Jisung couldn't stop babbling about everything you saw. You couldn't help the fond smile that spread on your face as you watched him so happy and animated.
It made your chest warm.
"Do you think someone else lives up there, with a telescope of their own watching Earth?" Jisung asked when the two of you laid in bed that night, embracing each other.
"Maybe they do. We'll never know, I guess." you said, running your fingers through his hair.
"Maybe they come visit us one day." Jisung smiled and looked up at you, his cheek pressed against your chest.
"I hope it'll be a peaceful visit." you said and Jisung agreed, his eyes fluttering shut as you soothed him with your touch.
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Two weeks later, Jisung was still doodling planets the two of you looked at as you made breakfast when your phone started ringing. You grabbed it and saw it was an unknown number, contemplating if you should answer.
"Who is it?" Jisung looked up at you and you shrugged.
"I have no idea."
"Maybe it's your friend. Or Chan!" he perked up.
"Oh, you're right." you nodded and answered the call. "Hello?"
"Miss Y/n L/n?" a monotone voice sounded from the other line.
"Yes?"
"We understand you have bought Jisung, the nerdy doll. We regret to inform you that all the dolls have to be returned due to a malfunction. You will get a refund of your money, of course. Tomorrow we are coming to collect the doll." the voice spoke and you smirked at Jisung.
"Sure." you said calmly. "See you tomorrow."
The man bid goodbye and you put your phone down as Jisung looked at you expectantly.
"It's happening." you said and Jisung put his pencil down and nodded, understanding immediately.
"Time for me to write some code." you smirked and he exhaled and nodded again as he took your hand.
You had worked tirelessly on it for months, perfecting the code as you predicted that something like this would happen, you knew you had to have some type of guarantee that you can save Jisung and his brothers. After hooking him up into your computer, your fingers started gliding against the keyboard like they were dancing and Jisung watched you with tenderness in his eyes, affection and sadness washing over him. He knew you were doing this for him and his brothers and he knew he'd have to leave you, at least for a little while and he couldn't bear the thought of being away from you.
But still, he was thankful.
You typed out the code and started talking. "With this I'll be able to track you and see what's happening. And they won't be able to pull the plug and make you sleep. You'll have to act as if they did it, I don't know if it will sell when they see your code and see that it has been tampered with. But I am counting that it will buy us enough time to infiltrate the building. Enough to cause a commotion. You just have to act like you're cooperating with them and not raise any suspicions. Understood?" you looked at him seriously.
"I understand." Jisung nodded firmly.
"Good. Just trust me, okay?"
And he did, Jisung trusted you with his life.
That night, both of you cried while making love, knowing it might be your last, at least for a little while but you didn't wanna be apart even for a second. Jisung sang you to sleep like he always did and you knew just how much you were going to miss his comforting voice.
Come morning, the doorbell rang some time after breakfast and you squeezed Jisung's hand as you saw he was getting anxious.
"It's going to be okay. Just act how we practiced." you assured him, grabbing his face and kissing him lovingly. Jisung gripped at your arms, desperately holding onto you and wishing you had at least one more day together.
"Soon, you'll be free, you and your brothers and we will go to the observatory again. And wherever else we want, I promise." you talked, your forehead pressed against his.
"I love you, Y/n." he whispered.
"I love you too." you pecked his lips once more before both of you made your way to the door.
There were four men in suits looking at you with serious expressions on their faces.
"Give us the doll." one of them said and Jisung nervously stepped closer to them.
"I'm here." he said and the men just looked at him quietly for a moment before nodding.
"Get in the car." another one said and Jisung looked back at you. You exhaled and winked at him, encouraging him to do as they said.
You watched his back as he left, his shoulders tense as he tried to keep himself together. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes but you had to compose yourself for this plan to work.
"Thank you for your cooperation, miss." the man said before all of them turned and left.
You quickly ran to your room and grabbed your phone, calling your friend.
"Did they come get him?" she asked and you could hear a commotion behind her.
"Yes. I did as we planned. Is Chan ready?" you asked and she let out a chuckle.
"Oh, he is ready. You should get here as soon as possible." she said.
"Fuck yes!" you laughed, everything was going just how you needed it to for your plan to work.
"Uhm, but... Y/n?" your friend hesitated and you paused your excited pacing.
"Yes?"
"We have company." she said and you gasped.
"What company?"
"Someone who can help us a lot."
You smirked and nodded to yourself, it was time to bring BIMT down.
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luckyladylily · 4 months ago
Text
So like, transandrophobia.
To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.
So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.
So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.
Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.
The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.
Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.
Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.
Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.
This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.
Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.
This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.
So in summary:
Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.
I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.
I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.
The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.
I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.
I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.
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andhumanslovedstories · 3 months ago
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Something I've been thinking about in regards to the difficulty of writing about my job in the healthcare profession is that there's very different conversations happening at the same time. The first is that this is a job that gives us a lot of power over vulnerable people that is easy to abuse and easier to be passive about. The second is that people will never not bitch about their jobs.
What if a customer service job was high-stakes? That's nursing. It's not the only part of nursing, but cmon, anyone who has worked a public-facing job knows how some people can be. Hospitals are full of people having the worst days of their lives while also being tired, hungry, lonely, and bored.
Plus, it's not just the general population you're dealing with. Hospitals have a disproportionate amount of very difficult people. To draw some examples from my own direct experience: the dementia patient had become too violent to stay at home (unfortunately common), infected chronic wound guy who is so racist that his facility will not take him back, confused patient who screams unceasingly 24 hours a day until she passes out, sexually inappropriate guy who needs two caregivers at all time, another racist patient but this time they're also sexist, banned from multiple shelters for assaulting the staff, etc. Or what might be the most common: person who is too sick to go home alone but no one they know will agree to take care of them. Like, have any of you cut off horrible relatives or abusive partners? People who were in whatever way unacceptable to be around? Would you like to take care of them? And you KNOW they're also not doing any of the stuff that would help them heal so it seems like they will never leave.
I think the gap between healthcare as a Duty versus as a Job contributes to hostile conversations. When you're complaining about your Job ("that moment when you let a call light ring for a while in the hopes someone else answers this time because that patient is annoying as hell"), it's frustrating to get a response that solely looks at the situation through the lens of a Duty ("all patients deserve the same level of care and shouldn’t be ignored.") And it's also frustrating to have these legitimate criticisms ignored or disputed because people are like "it's not that serious, calm down, let nurses vent." And it’s also frustrating to feel so intensely monitored in your free time because of your job. And it’s also frustrating to see people in their free time display qualities that seem like they would have big, negative impacts on their job.
Thinking on this topic, I keep coming back to this one memory. There was a time when I responded to a Code Blue (cardiac arrest, guy’s heart has fully stopped) and was the fifteenth or so person to arrive. The room's full of critical care nurses, I'm not the direct care nurse, the rest of the floor is quiet. So basically, I'm useless to the emergency situation. I ran into a coworker who also responded to the code. I hadn't seen her in a minute, so we caught up. She showed me the new stickers on her water bottle. I don’t remember the exact sticker, but I believe it was a nacho-based pun. It was a pleasant chat.
Meanwhile during this entire conversation, within eyesight of where we are because we’re waiting around to see if we’re needed, people are trying to bring a patient back from the dead. What was happening in that room is life-or-death--to the patient. For me, it was an interlude during a forgettable shift. I only remember that code because the discrepancy between what I was experiencing and what the patient was experiencing was so stark. I don't even remember if the patient survived or not.
None of the patient’s family was there. If they had been, we would have removed ourselves further or not talked so casually. Probably. But if the spouse was there, it would be so insanely insensitive if we tried to include the patient's spouse in our chat about fun stickers. If me and that nurse had been casually in a different hallway chatting, it would be very abrupt for the patient's spouse to walk into our conversation and explain how the patient's death would be so hard on the kids. One of these examples is way more sympathetic and understandable than the other. And I want that spouse to feel comfortable coming up to me and discussing that! That’s part of my job! But also, you can get why that would be a distressing interruption to a moment of downtime.
In both cases, the people in the conversation couldn't be further apart in tone and investment. Neither of us are being bad people. We just should not be talking to each other. And the nature of the Internet and public posting is sometimes talking about my job feels like it's me, my coworker, the spouse, and the revived but severely affected patient in single group chat.
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were--ralph · 1 year ago
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why exactly do you dislike generative art so much? i know its been misused by some folks, but like, why blame a tool because it gets used by shitty people? Why not just... blame the people who are shitty? I mean this in genuinely good faith, you seem like a pretty nice guy normally, but i guess it just makes me confused how... severe? your reactions are sometimes to it. There's a lot of nuance to conversation about it, and by folks a lot smarter than I (I suggest checking out the Are We Art Yet or "AWAY" group! They've got a lot on their page about the ethical use of Image generation software by individuals, and it really helped explain some things I was confused about). I know on my end, it made me think about why I personally was so reactive about Who was allowed to make art and How/Why. Again, all this in good faith, and I'm not asking you to like, Explain yourself or anything- If you just read this and decide to delete it instead of answering, all good! I just hope maybe you'll look into *why* some people advocate for generative software as strongly as they do, and listen to what they have to say about things -🦜
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if Ai genuinely generated its own content I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it, however what Ai currently does is scrape other people's art, collect it, and then build something based off of others stolen works without crediting them. It's like. stealing other peoples art, mashing it together, then saying "this is mine i can not only profit of it but i can use it to cut costs in other industries.
this is more evident by people not "making" art but instead using prompts. Its like going to McDonalds and saying "Burger. Big, Juicy, etc, etc" then instead of a worker making the burger it uses an algorithm to build a burger based off of several restaurant's recepies.
example
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the left is AI art, the right is one of the artists (Lindong) who it pulled the art style from. it's literally mass producing someone's artstyle by taking their art then using an algorithm to rebuild it in any context. this is even more apparent when you see ai art also tries to recreate artists watermarks and generally blends them together making it unintelligible.
Aside from that theres a lot of other ethical problems with it including generating pretty awful content, including but not limited to cp. It also uses a lot of processing power and apparently water? I haven't caught up on the newer developements i've been depressed about it tbh
Then aside from those, studios are leaning towards Ai generation to replace having to pay people. I've seen professional voice actors complain on twitter that they haven't gotten as much work since ai voice generation started, artists are being cut down and replaced by ai art then having the remaining artists fix any errors in the ai art.
Even beyond those things are the potential for misinformation. Here's an experiment: Which of these two are ai generated?
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ready?
These two are both entirely ai generated. I have no idea if they're real people, but in a few months you could ai generate a Biden sex scandal, you could generate politics in whatever situation you want, you can generate popular streamers nude, whatever. and worse yet is ai generated video is already being developed and it doesn't look bad.
I posted on this already but as of right now it only needs one clear frame of a body and it can generate motion. yeah there are issues but it's been like two years since ai development started being taken seriously and we've gotten to this point already. within another two years it'll be close to perfected. There was even tests done with tiktokers and it works. it just fucking works.
There is genuinely not one upside to ai art. at all. it's theft, it's harming peoples lives, its harming the environment, its cutting jobs back and hurting the economy, it's invading peoples privacy, its making pedophilia accessible, and more. it's a plague and there's no vaccine for it. And all because people don't want to take a year to learn anatomy.
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quitefawnish · 2 months ago
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just thinking about reader having an nsft tumblr acct and tf 141 being obsessed with it..
cw: sexual content, slight voyeurism?
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soap is the first one to stumble on your tumblr account. he originally got tumblr because he wanted inspiration for meal planning and thought about making his own fitness blog.
of course, he eventually went down the rabbit hole of hornyposting and after a few weeks, he discovered you.
you had started this blog to feel better about yourself, or at least that’s what you told yourself, maybe you just liked the attention. either way, you started off slow, posting in a sheer shirt or just a bra but not wanting to show off too much.
it only took a bit of prodding and pleading from your followers to get you to post your whole body. that’s where johnny first saw you, in a post where you did a full body reveal (sans face for obvious reasons). it had a few thousand notes and was the top picture for some of the tags you used.
soap practically felt his eyes bulge out of his skull at the sight of you, this perfect lass posting pics like that for free??? he was quick to follow you and then look at the rest of your posts, spamming you with likes as he went through your entire blog.
he contemplated keeping you to himself but knew the others would appreciate you just as much as he did, so he saved the original post he saw of you and sent it in the group chat. their messages were immediate, something to the effect of “holy fuck.”
that’s where the obsession with you started, and soap acted as their drug dealer, sharing in the group chat when you posted a new photo. of course, the other three knew that they could coax your username from johnny and they could make their own tumblr account to follow you but they found it more exciting getting your pics this way. one thing he did share with them was your throne wishlist which was full of lingerie and cute clothes you might want.
you had posted in sets you had gotten from other followers and the guys were interested in how they could buy you things too. your eyebrows practically disappeared into your hairline as you checked your phone and saw that your entire wishlist had been bought out. even the stuff that you put on there as a faraway desire, like the pair of mary jane’s you had been eyeing or the marker set that was too expensive to justify buying with your own money.
you always tried to thank people who bought from your throne personally, dming them on tumblr and sending exclusive pics in the things they bought for you. problem was, it was all under anonymous accounts and you didn’t get any messages owning up to the shopping spree. you decided to make a post asking who just bought you all that stuff and that you’d like to thank them.
soap was quick to message you, claiming responsibility for the gifts bought. you both get to talking and he mentions how he shares your pics with his mates, and how they get so excited when he sends a new picture of you. you respond back how you’re honestly so flattered, and you’d like to talk to them as well and thank them for their contribution to your wishlist.
eventually, you find some app or website that you can use to chat with them while not giving out any personal information. of course, when the things they ordered come in the mail, you make sure to send them plenty of videos and pictures.
they are hooked.
now it’s almost like you have four sugar daddies, paying for your bikini waxes (if you want them, they don’t mind hair down there yk), sending you money for groceries, for getting your nails done, or just because. sometimes, they even compete between the four of them to see who can make you the happiest (determined by the amount of exclamation marks you use when thanking them).
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a/n: this is so self indulgent and kind of based on some of my experiences when i had an nsft blog on tumblr lolll 🙈 anyway, this is kinda unedited and rambling but would any of you guys want me to write more w this concept?
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allfortheslay25 · 4 months ago
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Bestie, your brain 👌👌👌 i love all of your aftg au's, mermaid and omegaverse especially. Any headcanons or other things you wish people would ask but haven't/generally be willing to share? Hope you're doing well 💜
Another au from the secret stash!
All for the Cult
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I hid this one cuz I’m afraid it’d be controversial and up until this week, I hadn’t even shared it with my sister
I actually am writing a fic for it but the fic will not be published until it is completed. I don’t want to risk leaving it in the public on a hiatus so it’s safe with me until I can finish all the chapters
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Basically instead of exy as the base of AFTG, it’s bastardized religion. Exy technically exists but instead of Tetsuji continuing Kayleigh and his pet project, he turns to forming a cult. Exy ends up being a dying sport no one really cares about unless it’s Kevin Day who still plays on the side of his true passion, communing with God.
Neil was a human sacrifice raised for slaughter until his mom took him and ran. Homeless and with no way out, Neil joins Wymack’s staff at his wayward home/church where junkies and sob stories go for their last second chance. No one actually has to pray to god or believe in the Bible’s teachings to work there as it is not a standard church and more like a theater than anything
The more kids Wymack recruits, the longer he gets to keep his church and program at the school
(Also side note but I was doing the comic of andreil but forgot my house looks like a Catholic Church threw up in it so I got awkward and couldn’t finish it)(oh and my sister renamed it all for the debauchery cuz she got to read the altar scene lol)
Key points and fun facts of this au:
- the Ravens are a cult cult instead of a sports cult
- Riko is obsessed with his holy trinity (perfect court)
- The Moriyamas are still a crime unit but Nathan is sort of a satanist on the side (Would like to say mass majority of satanists are not evil or bad, Nathan just is)
- Neil was born as a sacrifice. Mary took him and ran tho before the ritual
- The Foxes are ppl from broken pasts who work at Wymack’s church for scholarship/community service.
- Wymack’s church isn’t a standard catholic kind. He has his own unique spin on it so even those who aren’t religious can still work there. Campus students attend the services to watch the plays, hear the readings, listen to the choir, and some even use the confession box. Some even go to donate as the Foxes are connected to a bunch of charities
- Andrew is not a real priest. The cousins were apprentices for Luther for a couple years to get him off their backs. Because of his experience and eidetic memory, Wymack has Andrew do scripture readings and other tasks. In return, Andrew gets to be off the meds the entire time of mass
- the Foxes attend classes and work shifts at the church in their free time. If they flunk classes or skip church, their scholarship is revoked
- all of the Foxes live in the upstairs rooms above the church
- When Andrew first met Luther, Luther promised to take care of the Cass situation as long as Andrew gave God a try. Andrew only agreed to read the Bible and took Nicky’s since the Hemmicks were worried he’d vandalize a new one. Andrew thought it was a good read but mostly was humored by all of Nicky’s annotations
- Andrew doesn’t care about religion enough to hate it so he’s fine chilling around and hearing the preaching
- When Neil goes to the nest, he agrees to spend those weeks in Riko’s church where he’s ofc tortured. Riko no longer has the desire to sacrifice Neil as long as Neil joins his cult
- Renee holds a Bible study on Sunday evenings and Saturdays so weekends are Andrews days off
- Lots of their readings are done performatively with music, spoken word poetry, or with their own unique spins/translations of the text. (Every mass always starts with a disclaimer that what is being said/shown is their interpretation and not to be taken as the honest god given truth)
- whenever they raise enough money or supplies, the foxes celebrate by getting wasted; Wymack’s treat
- Betsy is still there for mandatory therapy sessions since the point of the scholarship is to rehabilitate troubled youth
- Abby is Wymack’s assistant but she also is a part time nurse
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bunnwich · 4 months ago
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HELLO! Do you have a summary of how you portray Leona's personality in your stories? I'm a big fan of your Leona and Yuu stories and I've read them multiple times www /gen I always feel like you just nail how he would act and say things and you inspire me to work on my own fics and get better at writing scenarios with him. Than you in advance ily🙏 🦉anon
How I Portray Leona in General and in Romance
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HI ANON! So I've gotten this question a few times and someone in my discord asked me basically the same thing so I'll share with you what I wrote a few months ago about Leona and the general way I write him. (it's quite funny bc a lot of these things come up in Chapter 7 when we see his dream. I AM CURSED WITH APOLLOS'S GIFT OF PROPHECY WITH THIS MAN ISTG)
I hope this is helpful?? I would like to point out that the way I write Leona is fully based on my biases and life experiences. And that a big part of fandom is projecting what you wanna see in characters while still making them feel like the same character we know in canon, yk? Good luck with your fic writing! And thank you!! mwah mwah.💚 --
So Leona takes himself as a direct person, BUT he hides A LOT. He purposely misdirects people to get a reaction out of them. (Ex: pretending to be incompetent to anger someone) or he's playing with them. HE LOVES GAMES. Everyone is a chess piece, he has to feel in control bc that’s all he has ever had over everyone else; his wits. He’s a dickhead. He will say offensive shit to scare people off.
It’s a test to see who sticks around. He has no reservations when it comes to this. You take him as he is. And despite how some people write him he’s kinda silly? Like dad jokes. Why does he joke so much about eating people, who knows? (He says shit like Namby-pamby ffs) Why are you a 40y/o in a 20 y/o body?
I HC he purposely talks casually and gruff to distance himself from his upbringing. (I like to mix proper language and slang with him bc it feels right? Also lots of animal puns, and nicknames. HE'S CORNY AF)
In general, I don't think Leona is an entirely romantic person in canon, however in my timeline, I do HC that he, like Scar has this “want vs need problem” with connection to others. He thinks it's just praise he wants (or to be king) BUT he NEEDS TLC. What was Scar MOST jealous of at the end of the day?? Mufasa’s connections, a ✨queen✨, a family! BEING KING DID NOT MAKE SCAR HAPPY!! He needs to be needed and in Chapter 2 novella, he admits he HAS to numb himself to not care. I feel like this is something he constantly battles with. Yeah, he's lazy but it's partly bc he’s tired. He’s burnt out.
On the surface, he projects 100% nonchalance. He wants you to think everything he says is just "off the cuff", but it's not. He plans everything!!! He’s a mentor, big bro, caretaker. He is not the best at comforting words but he enjoys being a leader bc people appreciate him and look up to him. Something he never got at home.
Leona and ✨Romance✨
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He fools himself into thinking he has the upper hand at first and keeps his distance keeping an eye on the object of his affection. Why would you catch his eye? Well, his greatest strength is picking up on OTHER STRENGTHS. Chessmaster. He is a mentorrrr and caretaker lowkey, he wants others to NEED him and rely on him. HE WANTS YOU TO NEED HIM.
At first, he would place himself in your path, trying to be helpful in a very tsundere type way. But he would still be causal and keep ruffling your feathers to gauge how you feel for him. He guards his heart pretty heavily. And more and more he is slowly collecting info about you he would find more ways for these meetings to happen until he realizes: "Oh shit, I’ve caught feelings." This one is the winner. He’s the king of nonchalance but also...he’s a very overly sensitive person. No doubt he’s freaking out a little, he doesn't wanna screw this up. But, he’d never show it.
I do think he wants to be challenged and given some pushback (insert manga panel about "something being harder to get and therefore is better"), He wants to WORK for it, to prove himself to you that you SHOULD choose him. He wants to impress you. It makes him feel alive. A person who keeps him on his toes.
And once this ”game” of cat and mouse starts to happen. He might start to let his guard down if you are shown you can be trusted with his VERY VERY delicate feelings, that you DO accept his flaws, treat him differently than all others, and see past his gruff demeanor. It is a test of sorts. He is testing that you can “handle” him. MORE GAMES.
He’d let you set the pace though. He won't be the first to give in. To kiss you or confess first. But he would fall first HARD. He’s not been given much one-on-one attention in his life so he would crave that time with you. Physical touch is a big one, but he would not be pushy. He'd tease your boundaries and become addicted to your time together.
But yeah, this push and pull goes on for a while, all the while he’s gauging how you react to this. Memorizing it all.
He’s def one of those texters who erases their sentence like 5 times when they are nervous bc he is cookin' up the RIGHT response to endear you. (Not in a sappy way of course more in a: “I know you miss me, mouse.” snarky sorta way.) Though he can be self-deprecating on bad days. He’ll act confident, though soften up behind closed doors.
I think once he realizes that you have picked up on his simpery and there's no going back...all bets are off. He doubles down, no longer ashamed of hiding it. (Assuming at this point the person has reciprocated these feelings too!) He wants to be yours and he’s not subtle. Someone to be by his side.
Then you get the REAL simp Leona, who lowkey mumbles the sappiest shit to you in his native language when he holds you, (bc he’s still embarrassed to be vulnerable, though this will fade over time) He’ll be your biggest supporter, and wants you around him as much as you can be.
This just keeps going until you're married. Congrats you now have a lion to take care of forever.🦁 Hope this helps!✨
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violetwolfraven · 3 months ago
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Hey guys? As grocery prices go up and fresh food gets harder to get, knowing it will probably only get worse…
Potatoes are pretty easy to grow once they start turning green and sprouting. Just stick em somewhere they’ll get a lot of light about 2 weeks before you want to plant them for real and wait. After that bury them about 4 inches deep in a garden or container and they’ll be ready to harvest after the plants stop flowering.
You know how if you leave garlic alone for too long, it starts to sprout? Put that shit in some dirt with the sprout exposed, water it, and you’ve got yourself a garlic start.
You can grow peppers from seeds out of the ones you get at the supermarket. Peppers are decently easy. Start them indoors in a small pot, bury the seeds about an inch deep. Keep it next to a window or under a grow light for at least 10 hours a day and water it enough to keep the soil damp (~3x a week in summer, ~1x a week in winter). You should start them in winter or early spring so they’ll be nice and big and strong in time for the growing season. If you have the space to do so, move them outside after the danger of frost has passed. *with the caveat that they might or might not give you peppers in the first year.
Mint may not be a full meal but it’s a good addition to a salad or spring roll. It’s also ridiculously easy to grow. You kind of just get a store bought seedling and let it do its thing. Water it occasionally and be aware that it will die back over the winter, but mint is stupid easy. It can and will take over an entire space though, so maybe only plant it in a container.
Green onions can be sprouted from the white part with the roots. Just cut it about 2 inches away from the root, save the ends, stick the ends in a glass with some water, put that under light for a few days, then plant.
A short list of common edible plants you might be able to find (*with the caveat that most of my knowledge comes from only one region): lilacs (flowers), dandelions (leaves and flowers), lavender (flowers), peonies (flowers), basically any aggregate berry (shaped like a blackberry or raspberry).
With anything you want to start inside and later transplant outside, you should harden them off first. Hardening off is when you put the pots with the baby plants outside for longer and longer for a week or two leading up to when you’re transplanting. Start with leaving them outside for only a few hours at a time before you bring them back in and work your way up to leaving them out in their pots overnight before you plant them outside.
I’m a pretty amateur gardener and this is based on my experiences. Feel free to add your own if you know other tricks that might help someone.
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