#aromantic positivity

[angieblogging]

a beginners guide to… aromanticism.

so topic covered in this post will include:

what does it mean to be aromantic?

qpr vs romantic relationship

what is the aromantic-spectrum?

aro ≠ ace

a/n + other recourses

1. what does it mean to be aromantic?

an individual that is aromantic experiences no romantic attraction. that means they feel no romantic attraction, but can feel other types of attraction such as — platonic, familial, sexual, queerplatonic, alterous, aesthetic, emotional, sensual, intellectual. (these are the types of attraction i know, for the full list and descriptions check out this wiki page!)

each aromantic person can have a certain stance on romance such as romance repulsed or favourable. if you want to learn more about this topic check out this wiki page.

some aromantic people may be in a committed romantic and/or sexual relationship or a so called qpr aka a queerplatonic relationship.

2. qpr vs romantic relationship.

so to start this off i will say that the only people defining their relationship can be the ones in said relationship.

a romantic relationship is usually considered a relationship where two individuals are romantically attracted to each other and engage with each other romantically, such as kissing, cuddling, being committed exclusively to one another.

however the actions mentioned are not exclusive to romantic relationships.

a queerplatonic relationship is a relationship out of the binary. not a romantic or a platonic one. a qpr is not a stepping stone in between a platonic relationship and a romantic one. it is not necessary in between the two, it’s simply existent on it’s own.

what exactly is a qpr is hard to define as it means different things to different people and the only ones that can define it are the people in their qpr. some people are in a qpr where they engage in romantic and/or sexual activities, but feel no romantic attraction to each other, a qpr can be a fully platonic relationship with a sexual aspect or it can be just platonic, but their relationship exceeds the “norm” such as living together temporarily or permanently, raising a child together aka co-parenting. those are just a few examples.

3. what is the aromantic-spectrum?

it’s basically a spectrum of all the aromantic identities. someone who is on the aro-spec can feel little to no romantic attraction, some people feel it under certain circumstances or their attraction fades under certain circumstances. some, but not all labels on the aro spec include: demiromantic, aegoromantic, greyromantic, apothiromantic.

if you wish to read about more labels under the aro-spec check out this page.

all the labels on the aromantic spectrum have their sexual counterparts (ex. demiromantic — demisexual).

4. aro ≠ ace

so while aro and ace (short for asexual) communities are basically one big community (a-spec), it is important to note that aromantic individuals do not have to be asexual, some aros are asexual, some are just aro, some are aplatonic, so keep that in mind. one doesn’t equal the other. just cause someone is aro doesn’t make the asexual, however they can still be on the ace-spec. one can be aromantic and demisexual, many aro/aces use the split attraction model otherwise known as SAM.

SAM is there to basically help out to distinguish between romantic and/or sexual relationship, one is not tied to the other. some may be biromantic and asexual or homosexual and aromantic.

some aros choose not to use the SAM model and in this case they identify as a non-SAM aromantic. why they choose to use it can have many reasons, however they should also be respected as they can identify themselves however they want and truly own no one an explanation.

6. a/n + other recourses

i think this post catches the basics of aromanticism to the best of my ability. this is the basics and being aromantic is so much more complex than a couple definitions.

here’s a website you may find helpful! website

however i encourage you to do further research than just my post and that website. tumblr is a great place as well, there are plenty of aromantic blogs out there, like @our-arospec-experience @arospec-culture-is !

[merely-a-caricature]

Normalize super close friendships instead of assuming there must be a romantic and/or sexual factor—friends are a wonderful treasure!

[our-aro-experience]

“love is what makes us human—”

WRONG!!

[lgbtqtext]

[ihhfhonao3]

I feel like a lotta people don’t understand this but <2 is NOT just a “platonic heart.” It’s used by the aspec (mostly aro) community to signify a love that differs and is divergent from the norm and what is typically seen as “love.” It is also used by loveless aros to signify their lack of feeling love, but presence of another emotion like compassion or appreciation.

Please don’t simplify it down to being a “platonic heart.” It’s so much more than that.

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

about a month ago, my uncle asked if I had a significant other. I appreciate his gender inclusivity, of course.

I'm used to the question. it's not like it's something outrageous that he's asking. so I simply said no, that's not for me.

he looked at me and said "well, someday." not someday maybe, just.... someday.

of course I'm not quick to anger, but there's a part of me that's a little more defensive about my aroace identity. so I jumped to my defense.

my uncle isn't a bad guy, he's quite nice and tries his best to be respectful in the current political shit storm by supporting queer people. but apparently that does exclude me, an aroace.

I reiterated that I'm just not interested in a romantic or sexual partnership, and I really do not ever see that changing.

and he said something to the effect of "it's okay if you don't want that now."

and I said, "no, it's just okay that I don't want that."

and he said that I was pessimistic. as if I was secretly searching for a relationship or a partner, but was rejecting love because I could not find one.

I calmly (with all the rage in my veins) told him "no, a life without love or sex is something optimistic for me."

he had the gall to look horrified.

I'm sick of aroace people not being seen as normal human people when they don't want the outcome of their life to look like everyone else's. I'm sick of the white picket fence, I'm sick of the assumption that everyone has another half out there.

I'm whole on my own.

[abhainn35]

I was going through my health textbook and someone wrote "fuck that" under the lines about ending friendships because dating is more important and if that is not the most aromantic/aroace thing ever, I don't know what is.

[i-like-swiss-cheese]

OK GUYS

SO

THE ASEXUALS HAVE GARLIC BREAD

BUT WHAT DO WE AROMANTICS HAVE?

I SAY THAT WE MAKE THE ARO FOOD BE SWISS CHEESE

DONT LOOK AT MY BLOG TITLE I AM TOTALLY NOT BIASED WHATSOEVER

TRUST

[emo-sunshine42]

Reminder that it's not your fault if someone gets a crush on you. It's not your fault that they like you like that. Especially if you don't like them back, are aromantic, asexual, or any other reason- even if you don't have a reason!

You aren't in the wrong for not liking them back

I promise

[textk4kira]

I love you aro men, i love you aro transmascs, i love you aro sapphics, i love you aro enbies, i love you heterosexual aros, i love you cishet aros, i love you aro fems, i love you butch aros, i love you gray-aros, i love you demi-aros, i love you aros who have treated as predators by the rest of the queer community, i love you aroallos, i love you aromantic people 💗

[userwitchy]

happy pride month to asexuals and aromantics and everything in between. i want each and everyone of you to know that you are loved and cherished by the community even though there are some who try to diminish us. you are a valued, important, and valid part of the lgbtqia+ community. thank you for simply existing this pride 🏳️‍🌈🖤🤍💜🖤🤍💚

[monstrousparalysis]

Fuck it, on this Valentine's Day, here's a post devoted to every single aromantic who fits the negative stereotypes!

Every aroallo, no matter what other labels they use!

Loveless aromantics, especially ones who are loud about not feeling love and refuse to listen to the countless "but what about"s!

Aromantics who don't feel other, even more "universal" attractions, like platonic or familial ones!

Aromantics who lack empathy, who are "cold", who prefer logic over emotion!

Nonhuman aromantics, especially the loveless ones, for whom "Love is what makes us human" is a dismissal in both directions!

Aromantics with trauma, trust issues, or fears of intimacy!

And of course: the aromantics with personality disorders, especially the narcissistic or antisocial aromantics!

If you meet one or more of the above criteria, you are entitled to keep being who the fuck you are and to do so with pride!

Arophobia is not our fault, it is the fault of the arophobes who use our image to justify attacking others. We are hurting nobody just by existing as we are.

No matter what you want in terms of relationships, be that friends with benefits, queerplatonic partners, multiple partners, or no partners at all, ever, I hope you get it!

[qwerty-queer]

Trying to verbalize my feelings about being aromantic right now. I'm just so pleased with this community

[our-aro-experience]

“we need more ‘weird’ queers!”

you can’t even handle aroallos

[lgbtqtext]

[puppyoclock]

happy pride month to the aros, the aplatonics, the loveless aros, everyone who is sick of hearing about love from everyone else. i see you and i appreciate you. your queerness is just as important and welcome and wonderful as everyone else's