#anxiété sociale

[amourrencontreseduction]

L'Anxiété Sociale à l'Ère Post-Covid : Comment le Coaching de Vie Peut Aider

L’anxiété sociale, souvent désignée sous le terme de phobie sociale, est une réalité qui touche de plus en plus de personnes de nos jours. Avec l’émergence de la pandémie de Covid-19 et la prolifération des écrans dans notre quotidien, ce problème a pris une nouvelle dimension. Dans cet article, nous allons explorer ce qu’est l’anxiété sociale, comment elle est exacerbée par la période post-Covid…

[songedunenuitdete]

Komi cherche ses mots T05 de Tomohito Oda

Komi cherche ses mots T05 de Tomohito Oda

[lachiennearoo]

How to Make Friends

A more-or-less clear guide on social interactions

Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)

As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.

Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)

Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too

LET'S BEGIN!

1 - Be yourself

Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.

"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?

No, obviously not.

"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.

It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.

Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that

2 - Be kind

Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.

But that's... not quite that.

Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.

There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.

Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.

But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.

Hey, that brings me to point three!

3 - Show your own opinions

If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.

Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.

I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.

Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?

If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.

There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!

[fretbored34]

*hisses internally*

[jarsarahere]

I feel like another person when I try to think about my goals or the future. It’s just overwhelming I can’t handle it my mind like shuts down and I’m gone. I wanna go to the library alone that has been my goal for almost a year and I can’t I’m fucking terrified of being alone. Not like emotionally, like physically, away from people I’m familiar with. I freak and have panic attacks. In my perfect world I have a job at the library and I’m going to community college. Oh and I can go get a haircut. But anxiety is like parasite latched onto my soul. I can’t live. My whole life has been set beck because of it and I can’t fucking do anything its beyond frustrating. I only wish others could experience my life for a moment to fully comprehend what I’m feeling. It’s an agonizing existence being trapped by my own emotions and thoughts knowing that’s all they are thoughts and feelings. It’s like having the key to your own jail cell but the lock is on the other side of the door.

[chifourmi]

J'ai pas souvent fait d'update de mes séances d'EMDR pour mon anxiété sociale du coup je vais en faire un maintenant! Ça fait donc 5 mois que j'en fait et déjà à chaque fois que j'ai rdv j'ai trop hâte d'y aller parce que ma thérapeute est incroyable. C'est la première fois que j'ai un aussi bon feeling avec une thérapeute. Avant elle, je suis passée par plusieurs psys et ça n'a jamais matché.

Du coup, les améliorations :

- je n'ai plus en permanence une boule d'angoisse dans le ventre

- je peux survivre sans sédatif (mais toujours compliqué de m'en séparer)

- je ne rougis presque plus pour rien??? Ou alors je ne m'en rends plus compte et j'en fait plus tout un plat

- j'ai moins de symptômes physiques d'anxiété : mains moins moites, cœur qui bat moins vite,...

- je me sens enfin vivre, j'ai plus cette impression constante que je suis en train de survivre

- j'arrive à prendre un peu plus ma place!!

Ce qu'il reste à améliorer :

- toujours grosse angoisse de croiser des connaissances en dehors des moments où c'est prévu (j'ai horreur des small talk)

- ma peur des hommes est toujours aussi énorme, je peux avoir des milliards d'interactions avec des femmes inconnues mais dès que c'est un homme, je vais fuir. (Genre j'ose jamais ouvrir aux livreurs pcq je sais que c'est à 99% des hommes)

- je continue à m'autosaboter après une interaction sociale (encore un énorme travail à faire sur la confiance en soi)

Voilaaa

(04/11/2023)

[invertedrat]

I fucking hate this. So basically, yesterday, I went to this karate class thing for the first time. At first I thought it was nice, but the more I was there, the more my anxiety went up. I felt like I was shaking the entire time. I felt like I didn't even know where to look, and the big mirror that was on the wall being in front of me didn't help, it made me feel like everything was warped. It felt like everyone was looking at me, and I swear, this one kid, every time i looked at him, he was looking at me. I felt so awkward. I hated it more and more. At first, I didn't realize how much I hated it, but the more I think about it, the more i hate it. I felt like every time I punched the air or something, my arm fat would shake. They make you repeat the same move over and over for like 5 minutes, then change to another move, and repeat. I swear that was all we did. Then when the class was almost over, they made us do some stupid game. I liked the game at the end, but that was all. My mom wants me to go tommorrow (she keeps saying that I will) and i seriously dont wanna, like im gonna fucking cry if i have to. i hated it.

[early-twentysomething]

Me without fail every year between the end of January and mid April:

[dollgr4ves]

i don’t wanna wake up tmr 😍😍

[jezatalks]

Ma prise de sang n'a rien donné. (C'était pour les bouffées de chaleur). J'ai rdv avec ma sage femme semaine pro et je pense lui demander un bilan hormonal.

Je n'ai presque plus de bouffées de chaleurs (probablement que c'était dû à mes horaires aléatoires mdr), mais par contre ma morphologie change et j'ai ENCORE prit de la poitrine ??? Pourtant je n'ai pas vraiment changé de poids. J'ai même pris du muscle et ma graisse se répartie autrement.

Mais sur le net, je ne trouve aucune informations sur une morphologie et/ou poitrine qui continue de grossir après la puberté. Excepté une grossesse, prise de poids ou hormones/pilule. Ce qui n'est pas mon cas.

J'espère qu'elle acceptera 😔🤞

[ya-boi-oliver]

I love having no idea how to talk to real people

[songedunenuitdete]

Komi cherche ses mots T04 de Tomohito Oda

☃️J'ai lu Komi cherche ses mots T4 de Tomohito Oda - @pikaedition 🎄Je vous recommande chaudement ce shônen manga qui nous offre une très belle comédie drôle avec des thématiques sérieuses, mais toujours amenées avec l’humour qu’il faut 😊

Mon avis : On suit Komi avec une certaine délectation de la fin de ses vacances d’été à la reprise des cours et c’est toujours aussi passionnant. Alors certes, notre chère héroïne ne parle pas, mais ses expressions même assez monofaciales sont toujours très mignonnes et les situations qui l’entourent ou qu’elle entraine sont souvent très drôles. C’est surtout grâce à son entourage et ses ami. e.…

[fretbored34]

Mine cost me my sanity 🤪

[jarsarahere]

I'm so incredibly lonely and scared I don't have enough energy anymore

[salemouroverlord]

a poem, if you will

it’s called daggers for a reason.

a look so piercing

full of rejection.

I feel the enemies arrow pierce my skin,

beating heart,

skin, again.

my entire life begins playing through my mind

the memories, actions and relationships

an itch begins bleeding through my body

buzzing

irritating

did I do something wrong?

I’m just trying to be a good person

is the mask falling?

[sl1tcl1t]

Time for me to get personal, these past two months are some of the worst months in my four years of high-school. Hell not even that, all of my four years were shitty. Freshman year was trashy, I dont remember anything from Sophmore year (thx c0víd), Junior year was just... no, and now my Senior year is already off to a bad start. And on top of that, my urge to meet new ppl is hanuting me again. Like I definitely show signs of social anxiety (although I don't wanna self diagnose myself) and for my entire life, meeting new people is a struggle. And no not the "I hAtE tALkiNG tO lArGe CrOwDs" or "I HaTe pEoPLe" shit. I actually mean I physically cannot talk to people, whether it's a large or small group. Fuck I can't talk to another person unless they do it first, and even then I can't hold a convo for more than three seconds. And don't get me started with crushes. Never had a significant other. Ever. And the last time I caught feelings, he thought I was a creep. I'm literally months away from being legal and if I cannot talk to or ask people abt anything then this'll be the death of me.