#and i feel like ppl just dont appreciate it enough
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fun fact the word "dirk" sounds exactly like the root of the croatian verb "drkati" which means to jack off
get the dirk brush here
#homestuck#hs#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#self#admin draws#fanart#yeah like idk anymroe#TTAC#assorted. dortles. that ive been forgettting to post#sigh i gotta be real! i saw a post comparing the common reblog to like ratio in 2014 vs now#and i noticed the same pattern applies to my art obviously ofdkgjjg of there being like a lot fewer rbs than there are likes#and its been kind of a thorn in my eye looking at my notifs the last few days. hence i wasnt very motivated to post#cause its like figure out how to group stuff together for posting so its mutually related then format tag and bla bla bla#anyways i wasnt feeling it#i think my exams are affecting me too s well as pms so like dont mind me too much#i didnt wanna whinge in a separate post but its been eating at me a little so. compromise#i wanted to do a separate one thanking the ppl who consistently leave tags because i do see you! and i appreciate you so much#i have to resist the urge to reply to them lolol thats a lot more overbearing sounding than just replying under posts or to comments on twt#sorry 4 no fun tags this time around. hopefully the fact is fun enough.#also til you can just. add a hyperlink to a word by highlighting it and doing ctrl+v. crayzey
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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Twilight princess is the best Zelda game ever btw
#hey guys did I ever tell you that Zelda is my biggest childhood game franchise ever??#there was just something so special and unique about tp??#the whole feel of the game had this really dark (pun intended) and kind of dreadful feeling?#people talk a lot about how dark majoras mask is and I agree that its definitely one of the darker Zelda games#but I always feel like ppl dont really give twilight princess enough appreciation!!#anywayssss I’ve been replaying botw recently and im very excited for tears of the kingdom#just wanted to talk a lil bit about these wonderful games teehee#the peacock speaks#the legend of zelda#tloz#twilight princess#tloz tp
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me and my friends going back and forth between writing each other essays on whatever site/app we're talking thru & then not replying for a long while bc we're Overwhelmed and mentally ill & then finally responding with essays ourselves,, thus restarting the cycle for the other person
#skdhksf#maybe this is more a Me callout than anything else#but im honestly impressed by my ability to make get shorter and shorter#when it only takes me a day to response with essays of my own im like. impressed#i value these essays immensely btw. and i also appreciate the days in between where we communicate thru memes or whathaveu#also also. extremely important part here: i dont feel Guilty abt not responding like i did when i was younger and its Lovely#so lets talk abt Personal Growth and Valuing Your Own Time#and also the fact that i dont talk to ppl who'd try to make me feel bad for Not Being Response Enough#so shoutouts to fréddie and lex<33 yes this is explicitly abt my relationships with each of u akdhejdn#<3333#.txt#personal#maria is literally just rambling. hi#typos in the tags i Wont be fixing include:#me typing ''response'' instead of ''respond'' and the same for ''response'' instead of ''responsive''#my brain evidently doesnt like that word v much
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Actually, religion and spirituality are beautiful
#HONESTLY? i feel bad for a lot of people who grew up athiest bc so many of them dont seem to have#the same appreciation for nature as many spiritual/religious people ??#like there IS a way to raise a child secularly to respect and be in awe of nature#and to understand that they are a part of nature not separate from it#and to teach them about the thrum of connection between all things in the ecosystem#but like. people dont. dont teach athiest kids that. in my opinion.#athiest here meaning 'in no way spiritual or religious' not 'doesnt believe in a god'#like hopefully its just been my experience of meeting ppl who grew up athiest#and dont get me wrong a lot of religious people dont appreciate nature enough and dont see themselves as part of it#but to me it seems like p much everyone who really really appreciates nature is spiritual/religious or grew up as such#like even if youre an athiest as an adult as a kid many christians were taught to be in awe of nature bc God made it#same with judaism islam and iirc hinduism. and jainism of course!#so even if you dont believe as an adult you still carry part of the essence of those beliefs with you
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im meant for the streets but like regarding friendship instead of romantic partnership lol. i feel like every time i have a friend they only like me bc i will actually give them my time and attention unlike other ppl but in the meantime theyre always looking for the next best thing like someone more interesting compatible fun spunky etc im just like a placeholder to come back to every time they realize their new recruit isnt gonna work out like ok back to harriet ig. idk im probably overthinking and it's just that i've never rly had a good friend to begin with so it's not that deep but it rly does feel sometimes like ppl only care about me when theyre not occupied with someone new. and at this point now i cant even bring myself to put in the effort with any friends i might make cuz im like ur prob gonna end up half-assing this too so why bother lol. but i feel bad then cuz its like how can u form a bond when ur not putting the time in but idk if i even care anymore i think more n more i just keep accepting im not meant to have friends i dont think my personality suits it anyway bc i lov being alone
#also tho i feel like ppl tend to go all in at the beginning and act like they rly love u but then that naturally fades away#so it's like kinda exhausting for me to like go thru that honeymoon period in good faith like...#i dont loveu.... o.o i dont know u... and ull prob hate me? so why are we pretending#but ig its fun to pretend for a bit too and its like an icebreaker dude idfk anything maybe im jst socially inept (iam)#but also maybe i just expect more out of friendship than others like i do have friends theyre just like strictly ppl i do things with#not like ppl id talk to abt shit so like maybe thats just what most friends are anyway and im expecting too much?#either way this is rly not that deep idk why i just always crave platonic love#perhaps the problem is........................... literally everybody's main hobby in life is getting drunk and i dont drink lmao#like what tf they gonna do with me they not bringing me to the club so like ofc im not their friend#i need gamer neet friends who are boring as hell like me. which i mean thats most my 'friends' anyway its just rly shallow connections#i genuinely dont kno if i even want deeper friends tho like wat am i talking about sigh#maybe i dont appreciate what i have enough but maybe its also ok to want deeper connections
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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Oh yeah..... midnight gospel be hitting.... sitting in my bed fuckin. Crying. Get a grip girl
#Its the trudy ep which is actually the episode that made me keep watching#I love love love this episode.....#Something about how.......... idk.... its a very profound ep that I can't explain and it's a nice cry#This ep kind of shaped my outlook on life especially after finding out about my friend dying#All the regrets and things left unsaid.... I make my peace daily by being really straight up#If I love and care about ppl I tell them... I say they are appreciated and cared for man#I am always thankful for people and I *love* people as a whole#And as long as the people around me intrinsically know that they are loved and cared for and cherished.... like that's it#That's the end game truly#I will never ever be sorry for that. This was THEEEE episode.#There's a lot of nuance behind my feelings best described by revolutionary girl utena#But still. I'm deep enough in my tags bc I'm crying over my s/o but not in a bad way#Fml I am so grateful to him as just an entity. As a person in my life even if our lives only intersect for this brief period of time#He hasn't been texting me much and we didn't talk much at work and I didn't even get a goodbye (rude lol)#But I know he was having a rough day. I know he needs a bit of tlc.#He could be on a downswing because I am certainly on an upswing#So I'm kind of like trying to focus on doing my own thing rn without worrying about it#Because I can't do anything about it so I might as well continue My Thang#But as I sometimes come to terms with us never talking again (gotta be prepared at all times to be ghosted)#I also come back to terms with needing him to really understand#how many people in his life depend on love cherish and admire him#And im not just talking about me... he has a lot of siblings and a not great mom. Two kids he loves.#He has always taken care of everyone else in his life#He deserves to really know and idk. It makes me think of this moment.#Realizing how much I dont ever want to question if he knows#I don't want to question if I could've done more or tried harder etc. I did my very best and didn't lie cheat steal or whatever#I am so grateful to him for letting me have that. Even if nothing can come from it in the end#Even if we should be torn apart!!!! Take my revolution!!!#Anyways. Here's wonderwall#Banger of an episode. Worth the rewatch
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#results r shockingly quickly announced today just hours after we took em#took the exams*#i passed but i dont feel satisfied with the results cuz the topics were basically spoonfed and i feel like i shouldve done better#it always feels never enough and i always feel like if id just give myself a little push id get the results i wanted#but it just never happens#ik i need to learn to appreciate stuff like these but my brain always ruin it👍#im so mediocre and i cant even properly grieve abt it#cuz im always bombarded w ppl who seem to perform below average saying theyre jealous of me#girly in my eyes we r both below average does that make u feel better#i sound like an asshole and tbh i probably am. whatever man.#i just wish all this comparison shit going on in their head aint happening cuz i just want wholesome block friends :/#makes me feel like an enemy or a traitor when i get an averag score :/
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I think im gonna cave & tag Midvalley in my fanfiction
I still don't know just how longterm he'll be around (it'll depend on how things shake out & whether he ends up liking Vash enough to stick around) but Even Tho he's mostly been long-distance present, he's been important to the story and So It Shall Remain for at least a while.
So. Midvalley 4th most major character I guess?
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i hesitate mainly bc A: i hate it when ppl tag brief appearances of characters in longfic#bc lovers of those characters arent gonna wanna read a giant thing for one lil blip ykno?#so i only tag characters if they have a genuine solid role in my stories. brief appearances dont matter.#also B: i still feel like im kinda butchering his character hfkshfjd and im scared of actual midvalley fans judging#im growing to appreciate him more and more. but the fact remains that i never paid him much mind b4 deciding to add him#i was just like 'this sure is a role he would perfectly fill' and i reread his sections to get a feel for him#i think i did an okay job with his first appearance but im scared of reducing him to just Grumpy Not-Friend to vash#in that him and vash have been talking for years & it's ultimately the most constructive socialization they both get#during that time.#so vash treats him like a friend. bc it's vash and he was lonely and midvalley is fun to annoy.#and midvalley ends up kinda forgetting who vash sometimes. but then he remembers & it's Awful#im trying to do him justice. and i'll be able to stretch my legs more once he's physically showing up again.#i swear im thinking about it and trying to stick to a proper characterization!#worse than a minor character not showing up in a fic is a minor character showing up Wrong.#i dont wanna do that to midvalley lovers. and thus the hesitation.#but. But . i think his role is major enough that it's worth tagging. and so. i think i will.#tagging b4 meryl and milly bc i like having the tags be ordered by relevance & chronological appearance#relevance for the first few Definitely. most important characters up first.#and then latter characters by appearance. just works that way.#is midvalley more important to the story than meryl and milly? Well... kinda yeah.#in terms of having a role no one else can fulfill. which will have major effects on the overall story? Yeah.#so. i should tag him. im gonna tag him. just. Ugh. the Anxieties...
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i said this on twitter but the dark knight quests are not made for ppl who react violently to coercion lol
#you tell me how i'm supposed to feel? i kill you and consume your body#once someone said i wasnt mentally ill enough to appreciate it but um. i want to murder fray. and eat them#so whos the real mentally ill person here.#i know theyre just part of the characters psyche and not 'real' but that just makes my want stronger.#but MAN frays behavior in these early quests piss me off so bad. i dont feel that way about the randos you say i feel it about#but i certainly feel that way about you! im going to fucking kill you!#are people just like. okay? with the way fray speaks to your character? it feels so manipulative.#and then of course the quests get really good after that so...#maybe im just too familiar with taking dark parts of myself and making it 'other' so fray is nothing new to me#but even my own dark parts wouldnt treat me the way fray treats the wol. i have more self worth than that#fray should tell you to murder more ppl tbh because everything else they do just comes off as being an asshole#i think they couldve gone harder with the bodyjacking thing also but what they did was good
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the way they started griddying toward him like a bunch of zombies activating their zombie shuffle when they spot you in a post apocalyptic survival game
the way the cast it wrapped makes it accentuate ja's snatched waist 😭 tatum, please, pls tatum, I need you. You guys can make out while grabbing each others hips (ja has to have his locs down tho)
my little gumdrop !!!!!!!
ofc jaren steals multiple pairs, gayass
a 5 year old showing me his lollipop that is completely covered in 200% hair & dust ( he wants me to try it )
#year of the dragon shoes is a fire concept tho this shoe is beautiful#im glad they didnt fuck it up and make it look like christmas#i was too poor to even be a poor sneakerhead as a kid so i always feel this weird ick buying extravagant things so i just never do#i have to get peerpressured by my friends all the time#but then im so used to not buying good things for myself that i just never end up using the good things#either bcs i dont want to get them dirty/broken or i dont think it's a good enough opportunity to show out#so they just collect dust then i feel bad abt it collecting dust but i cant use it or ill feel bad abt using it#im a guy who has like three different pairs of shoes max#but im not cheap on others. i love spending well on ppl who arent me#it's just im so used to giving/spending my money on others that the idea of myself in the equation is too gross by now#the white blue and gold is so pretty#blue laces or maybe like a dragon design on them would be coldd#does his necklace so tm??#i mean his real name is temetrius so ig???#jaren scuttling away with his loot like a happy mouse swiping a slice of cheese#jaren#ja#gg#ja having to let them know theyre one of his top pairs so theyll truly understand the merit of the gift like they didnt already#these are HOOPERS ja. anything shoe.. they slobber over. dont worry abt appreciation. look at their faces. they love it
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a glamorous well-being⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🌸
i've decided to write this post to remind my audience that you're own well being comes first and just share some ways on how you can focus on ur well being in small steps that can gradually build a lifestyle.
BEAUTY SLEEP ;
go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up at a reasonable time. when ur well rested you'll feel and look your best. theres a reason why ppl call beauty sleep beauty sleep.
when u dont get enough sleep ur skin is dull, you'll start to have eyebags beneath ur eyes and can even shorten ur life span. and thats not hot.
if u feel like it'll make u more well rested, take a midday nap. if u find that u have problems sleeping, having a before bed routine that soothes u can rly help u to sleep like the angel that you are.
drink a warm cup of tea before bed
do gentle stretches
take a soothing bath or shower
DIGITAL MINIMALISM ;
we experience the fear of missing out bcuz of our habit of consuming hundreds if not thousands of unnecessary information every single day. in a way we've become information addicts.
no scroll mornings - cutting a habit completely might be hard so dont jump in with both feet immediately. go little by little.
digital declutter - intentionally cut out optional online activity and instead focus on something in person like ur community, urself and ur projects
APPRECIATING SILENCE ;
if the weather permits, i rly recommend going for walks. walking is not only good for ur body but also ur mind and getting fresh air and sunlight is rly good for u and important.
start doing guided meditations
go on daily walks to get some fresh air
JOURNALLING ;
journalling is so easy and fun and glamorous. i love the concept of journals bcuz its just such a cute way to get everything from ur mind onto paper which is helpful.
to journal with the intention of improving ur well being i recommend to get into shadow work cuz its like journal therapy. i'll link a post with shadow work prompts right here, that way you can have a place to kind of start off from.
other then simply doing shadow work journalling or maintaining a diary of sorts is also helpful for ur well being bcuz it showcases ur growth and its a great way to cultivate a sense of self without fear of judgement or privacy invasion from others.
TAKING BIG STEPS IN EASY WAYS ;
i think that the secret to overall wellness in the most glamorous way possible is a bunch of little habits that can contribute to an overall beautiful and glamorous inside and outside.
so focus on building habits before you make a huge lifestyle switch. not to confuse this with not being all in. you must be all in otherwise you'll fall back into unhealthy and old patterns for the sake of comfort.
but thats not hot, you can take baby steps while still being all in. commit to a more vibrant and more well self cuz you'll thank urself in the long run.
#self care#advice#honeytonedhottie⭐️#becoming that girl#it girl#self love#it girl energy#that girl#digital minimalism#well being#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#hyper femininity#self development#self improvement#self healing#time management#level up#glamorous#glamorouslife
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synopsis— this is prt 3 of “what’s that supposed to mean”
a/n— thank u guys so so much for all the support I’ve received with this! It genuinely warms my heart knowing people. I wanted to js include this. I forgot to include this in previous chapters, but in this au, there is no sorcery or anything like that. likes and reblogs are appreciated!!
EDIT!!!!!— This chapter will probably be deleted and redone. This is genuinely not my best work, obviously, so if you're reading this and want to see the better version let me know in the comments! :D
“What the fuck are you doing here?..” the few seconds of silence felt like it would never end. Before today if you had saw Gojo you probably would’ve cried and beg him to be with you again. But now? All you wanna do is beat the shit out of him. You quickly stood up stomping towards where Gojo stood.
“Guess it wasn’t just me fucking around with other people during the relationship, damn whore ” Gojo scoffed before he chuckled. When those words left his mouth, Suguru immediately stood in between you and Gojo.
“Oh fuck you gojo! seriously gojo!? Lets talk about the bitch you were fucking huh!? Doesn’t she have a boyfriend too?! I never fucking cheated on you…” as you continued yelling Gojo joined in as he yelled and cursed at you. Geto knew that this was something you had to do. He also knew that Gojo needed to realize that what he did was completely shit. Suguru would be lying if he didn’t admit that he thought you looked so damn hot yelling at Gojo.
“Yea yea whatever.. imma just go back home with the woman I truly love” Gojo sounded confident in his words, but the truth? The woman he cheated on you with had left him. And he was here to get Suguru to help him get you back. But after this screaming match, he realized the true consequences of his actions. Gojo realized your heart was no longer his to break or toy with anymore.
“you know where the door is” Geto spoke before finally stepping away from in between you both. He now stood by your side. Gojo scoffed before he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut loudly.
You let out a deep guttural chuckle. Geto was sure you had lost your mind. “God, sorry you had to see that Suguru, but now I feel much better”
“It’s all okay, sweetheart, gojo deserved the tongue lashing no one else is brave enough to give him” Suguru gives you a reassuring smile. You let out a deep breath, sitting down on the edge of getos bed. Geto stood in front of you, his eyes bore deeply into yours as you looked up at him. “You know.. now that gojo is, you know, out of the picture, we could always become closer." You let out a small giggle.
“Are you trying to flirt with me, Suguru?” Your teasing tone made Geto’s heart pound.
Suguru’s sly smirk tells you everything you need to know “Maybe just a little”. His hand reaches for a stray strand of your hair. You stood up, both of your faces mere inches away from each other. He gently tucks the strand behind your ear. “Do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow? You dont have to if you dont want to, i dont want you to feel—“ You interrupt his words, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“ofcourse i want to go to dinner with you dummy”
MADE BY LIVINGHXD3ADGIRL
Tag!- @ourfinalisation @snoopyearss @number0netrash @gollumsmygel @lavender-hvze @shokosbunny @qashmer @chilichopsticks @akshitapainulu @meshellie @grima4lurking (I tagged ppl that were in the comments of the last part who wanted a part 3 if I missed your name let me know!)
a/n— I'm sorry if maybe this chapter isn't as good as the rest but let me know if you wanna see geto and readers future together!
#bibi!—writes#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#geto x reader#gojo angst#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk geto#geto suguru#gojo satoru
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hope this isnt weird but thank you for making ethical clothes for plus sized ppl like. as a heavily plus size person my options have always been fast fashion and not only is it unethical its also a lot less quality and its so nice to have designs i love made in a way i know is responsible and with my body in mind. i feel like you dont get enough recognition for ensuring the labor is ethical and i want to show appreciation for that. also hope u had a pleasant day. thanks!!
thank you i really appreciate this 🥺🥺
i think when non-fat people hear about the dearth of options in plus size they just think we mean a lack of choices in styles, which is true, but the reality is so much worse than that. we have fewer choices in price point, in material, in everything. and that includes ethical options.
the more sizes you make. the more expensive your bottom line is, so if your absolute priority isn’t size inclusion then most small brands and esp small brands prioritizing ethical labor will cut down on sizing, which means plus sizes get cut. plus there’s a lot of anti-fat bias in the sort of liberal spaces that view “ethical” consumption as an aesthetic.
anyway there’s people way better at deconstructions this shit than me out there but it’s not even 9am yet so this is the most coherent thought you’re going to get out if me lol
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christopher gave a wonderful speech for his father at the celebration of life
i have a cousin named chris (information which does not at all feel vulnerable to reveal considering it is one of the most common male given names in the united states) and he is one of three boys (i should say men since they're all like 30-something now) born to my uncle who is the third-born of my dad's seven siblings. my dad and his dad and the firstborn uncle used to co-own a family business founded by my grandfather before my dad eventually left after my older brothers were born because my firstborn uncle can be pretty insufferable. so my dad was very close to chris' dad especially around the time that they both were newly-raising their sons. my uncle who is chris' dad just died, though. last week. he had had stage 4 prostate cancer for about ten years. and there's really nothing else i know how to share about that fact other than it has been enormously painful to our entire family.
i pointed something out though after the wake that my father had apparently never realized. i said "dad, it's funny how whenever you refer to chris, you call him christopher, like he's still a little boy." idk why my dad does that. nobody else in the family does that. but he was like "i do?!?!?" and my sister was also like "yeah no dad you always call him christopher, and literally only you do this." it was funny
#this was at the end of may that my uncle died. the wake was open to the public (he was very popular in the community)#and then the celebration of life was. well it was still very large but it was primarily family and close friends#it was crazy how many ppl came to that wake last month. like insane#members of my mother's family came. uncle terry was a very admired man#and he really was just like the most admirable kind of person. incredibly smart and kindhearted#very 'masculine' in a lot of ways like he was super athletic his whole life (even after cancer)#he was a college football player#but he was also just very softspoken and thoughtful.#i feel so bad for his children and grandchildren. his oldest grandchild is not even 6 yet :(#im sure they'll always understand that he was one of the best and gentlest men who ever lived but#as someone who had all my grandparents till i was 21. i appreciated getting to know them all as an adult#uncle terry would be a wonderful grandparent to grow up with. i feel so sorry for them#cont#yeah chris cried and choked up a good amount during his speech and i thought it was very admirable#those irish men. they dont cry openly enough. but they should!#it was real man tears. no one is here to judge. your father died!#in a sense it was comforting to me to see that expression of emotion#i gave him a very big hug before i left#but yeah he's like 35 or something and my dad still calls him christopher lol
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