rebellum

[rebellum]

worst thing about christianity is they wont even let you fuck jesus. hes all over everything shirtless and sweaty and tied up but hes off limits in christianity. which is why ive created a new religion where all members are allowed to fuck jesus. and its not a creepy thing because hes into it he loves it its very ethical. organic grassfed farm to table jesus pussy that you can interact with for free if you join my new religion

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So are you saying that if you found out a guy had a pussy you would be okay with that????

am I okay with the sun rising every morning??? my pillow being my preferred temperature?? getting extra fries with my order???

[rebellum]

finally, someone for tumblr

[rebellum]

I do have a piece of writing advice, actually.

See, the first time I grew parsnips, I fucked it up good. I hadn't seen parsnips sprouting before, right, and in my eagerness I was keeping a close eye on the row. And every time I saw some intruding grass coming up, I twitched it right out, and went back to anticipating the germination of my parsnips.

But it turns out parsnips take a bit longer than anything else I'd ever grown to distinguish themselves visually. It's just the two little split leaves, almost identical to a newly seeded bit of kentucky bluegrass when they first come up, and they take a good bit to establish themselves and spread out flat before the main stem with its first distinctive scallopy leaf gets going.

I didn't get any parsnips, not that year, because I'd weeded them all out as soon as they showed their faces, with my 'ugh no that's grass' twitchy horticulture finger.

The next year, having in retrospect come to suspect what had happened, I left the row alone and didn't weed anything until all the sprouts coming up had all had a bit to set in and show their colors, and I've grown lots of parsnips since. They're kind of a slow crop, not a huge return, but I like them and watching them grow and digging them up, and their papery little seeds in the second year, if you don't harvest one either on purpose or because you misjudged the frost, so it's worth it.

Anyway, whenever I see someone stuck and struggling with their writing who's gotten into that frustration loop of typing a few words, rejecting them, backspacing, and starting again, I find myself thinking, you gotta stop weeding your parsnips, man.

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Wrapping paper photo challenge 2024

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maybe i shouldn’t respond to wrong number texts any more

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I did wonder why he was so quiet this morning

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"come home and see my girl cave :)" I say flirtily. You agree, imagining a rec room with some couches and maybe a few vintage consoles. I lead you down into the basement, where I have carved out a slimy grotto with its own ecosystem. by the time you see me dive into the water and come up with a fish in my teeth, it's too late. You want to fuck me so badly.

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they should make weight loss ads illegal and I’m not kidding

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*video boss music plays*

Brits who say "spaz isn't a slur here, it's only a slur in the americas"

VERSUS

North Americans who say "spaz isn't a slur here, it's only a slur in the UK"

BATTLE: BEGIN

[rebellum]

owning these mixes should require a license like owning a gun requires a license, I think