#relevance for the first few Definitely. most important characters up first.

[orcelito]

I think im gonna cave & tag Midvalley in my fanfiction

I still don't know just how longterm he'll be around (it'll depend on how things shake out & whether he ends up liking Vash enough to stick around) but Even Tho he's mostly been long-distance present, he's been important to the story and So It Shall Remain for at least a while.

So. Midvalley 4th most major character I guess?

[cy-cyborg]

Writing disability: The Super-Crip Trope, and how to avoid falling into it's harmful elements

The "Magical disabled person" or as it's often called in disability circles, the "Super-Crip" is the name of a trope in which a disabled character has some kind of magic or special abilities, which is used to mitigate or erase the impact of their disability. While not a mandatory part of the trope, many super-crip characters are also stronger than their peers, specifically because of their disability's impact on their powers. So why is this trope so unpopular among many disabled people? There's a few reasons. The main one is because more often than not, Super-crips who are written by non-disabled people are often treated as an easy way out of actually having to deal with a character's disability, and a shortcut out of having to do the research into how a disabled character would deal with certain situations. When these writers encounter something they think their disabled character can't do, instead of actually talking to people with the same disability as their character and doing research, they just write that its not a problem because "magic powers go!"

In some cases, but not all, their powers all but erase their disability completely, at least from the perspective of it's relevance to the story. While, to my knowledge, this was never in the comics or movies, A good example of this is a "fan-theory" I've seen among non-disabled X-men fans who claim professor X could use his telepathy to walk, functionally bypassing his spinal injury (Or his leg injury, if we're going off some of the comics' timelines). This would functionally erase his disability, making it an example of both the super-crip trope and the miracle-cure trope.

ID: An image of Professor X from X-men, a white bald man wearing a suit, sitting in a silver wheelchair, and another unknown man in a suit standing beside him, framed by a circular doorway, both their faces are partially obscured by shadow. /end ID]

Another reason this trope is disliked is because writer's often have good intentions when using this trope, but they actually end up undermining the points they were trying to make. Often, super-crips are portrayed as badasses in an attempt to show that "you can still be a hero/useful to the plot and be disabled", but the way they portray it usually implies that disabled people, as they exist in real life, aren't useful unless they have something that compensates for their disability or have impossible powers.

So should super-crips be avoided entirely? Some folks in the community think so, but personally, I don't agree. Despite all of what I've said so far, I think there are ways to write characters who technically fit the definition of a super-crip, without it being harmful. There's an argument to be made that "super-crip" specifically refers to harmful version of the trope, so not everyone will consider characters who aren't part of it, but I do, and I think it's important to discuss both the harm this trope can bring, and how this trope can be used in non-harmful ways. Humans (and creatures with human-level intelligence) are adaptable creatures, and in a world where magic exists and especially in worlds where its common, disabled people will find ways to use it to help themselves. but help is the key word there. So let's talk about some ways you can write super-crips, without it crossing the line into becoming harmful. The following are some things for you to consider about your character's disability, how their magic/powers interacts with it, how they interact with the world (and vice versa) and more:

Are your character's powers an aid or a cure?

The first, and one of the most important things to consider, is if your character's powers function like an aid or piece of assistive tech, or a cure? If you boil it down, is the magic helping them or "fixing" them? This can be a cure in the literal sense, as in giving an amputee the ability to shape-shift to get their limb back, or a functional cure, meaning the power essentially by-passes the disability, like the above mentioned professor-X fan-theory. It's not literally curing him, but it might as well be. In a world where this magic or super-powers exist, it's perfectly natural that a character might use the magic to lessen the impact of their disability, but it shouldn't erase it entirely. Give the magic a trade off, make it imperfect. You character can cummon a magic prosthetic, but there's a time limit on how long it lasts for, or their magic needs to recharge it. A wheelchair using mage might be able to engrave magic runes on their chair that allow them to pass over rough terrain, but only to a certain extent. It might allow them to go up-stairs, but it can only be used so many times per day (and make sure you show the times where they need to get up the stairs, but have run out of uses!) Things like that.

Is the power directly tied to their disability?

Is the power you're giving the character directly tied to their disability? There's 2 ways you could read this, and both should be considered. 1. The power is something you, as the author, gave to them specifically because it would help mitigate their disability (e.g. giving a character without arms telepathy so they can still pick things up/hold things because you couldn't figure out how they would be a badass swordsman without it) or 2. Does this character, in universe, have their power specifically because of their disability? e.g. Did our arm amputee develop telepathy through sheer-force of will because they really wanted to be a swordsman, and their determination manifested as telepathy/A god gave them the powers because they felt bad for them/a wizard taught them how to do it because they were inspired by the person's perseverance? If the answer to the first one was yes, perhaps reconsider and do more research. If the answer to the second one is yes, proceed with a lot of caution. Generally, if the powers originate from someone feeling sorry for your character, being inspired by them or anything to do with their determination and perseverance, I'd recommend changing that. However, if the powers came from your character having to adapt something to to their disability, that is really a case-by-case basis thing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. your success with it will depend on the character, the setting and the specifics of how.

Is this power common, or is this character the only person in the cast/only person we see with this ability?

Is the power you're giving your disabled character rare, or even unique? It's fine to give your disabled characters powers that are common within the world, but if they're one of the only people who has that ability (or similar abilities), ESPECIALLY if it directly helps mitigate their disability, you might want to reconsider that choice. In a world where everyone can fly, it would be weird if your wheelchair user couldn't without an explanation. But if no one else in the story can fly except your wheelchair user, it starts looking more like you just gave them that power so you don't have to think about accessibility in your world. If you really must give your disabled character the rare/unique power, consider making another character with a similar disability but no/more common powers so you aren't just avoiding the issue, or making the power not related to/impact their disability directly (e.g. giving your leg amputee super-hearing.)

Does this power solve a wider access issue in your world, or does it just make it easier for your character alone?

As a general rule of thumb, if you are writing a story where you don't want accessibility issues to be a thing (e.g. a story set in a utopia), focus on fixing the environment, not the characters. Instead of giving your wheelchair user the ability to fly upstairs, give the buildings ramps and lifts. That way, its a solution for everyone with that disability, no matter their access to things like magic or technology. When talking about super-crips, this is especially important, doubly so if your character's power is rare! I made a (mostly joking) post ages ago about an idea for an earth-bender character in the Avatar universe, who gets fed up with republic city being inaccessible and starts earth-bending all the stairs into ramps. This solves the accessibility issue for them, but also makes their environment more accessible for others without bending to get around. Of course, not every disabled character will want to help/care to help others, but often when non-disabled people write disabled characters with powers, they kind of forget that their character won't be the only disabled person in this world. It often feels like they honestly think fixing things for their character means there's no problem anymore, and that's not the case.

Avoid, "I may have [insert disability here] but I can still do stuff because of my power!"

By this, I mean give your character other ways to address issues relating to their disability than just their powers. One funny example I remember reading in a writing group I was a part of was this author who was bragging about how their paralysed character could still drive a car because they had electrokinisis (the ability to telepathically control electronics). Aside from the fact that wouldn't work on all cars - including the one their character drove, since not all cars have electronic components controlling their acceleration and brakes, the way they described it was extremely complex, and overall not worth the effort when the real-life solution, hand controls, was much, much easier and the setting allowed for easy access to that kind of tech. When I pointed this out to them, they said they had no idea hand controls were a thing, and they had no idea that real disabled people could drive. They thankfully changed it, but there's 2 things to take from this: 1, double check that disabled people can do the things you assume they can't, your magic solution might very well not be needed, and 2. variety is important regardless. No one device, or in this case, magic power, should act as a one-size-fits-all solution. IRL disabled people have lots of tools to help us, I have 2 sets of prosthetics for different tasks, a wheelchair, a grabby claw (for reaching things on high shelves when using my short legs and wheelchair) and hand controls in my car (or at least I used to but we won't get into that lol). My prosthetics won't "fix" all my problems, I need other tools too. keep this in mind when it comes to magic too - it shouldn't be the only thing at your character's disposal.

There's nothing to compensate for.

Remember, don't treat your character's disability as something they need to make up for (especially if they "make up for it" using their powers). Your disabled character is allowed to make mistakes, they're allowed to have flaws both related and unrelated to their disability, they're allowed to not be good at some things, and they don't always have to be the best at whatever their roll in the plot is. In most stories, they should be on par with the other characters, or at least in the same ball-park, but as I mentioned before, a lot of stories don't let disabled characters fail. In order to justify them even being present, they are often made out to be the undeniable best, almost to mary-sue levels of perfection and super-crips especially fall into this issue a lot. They can be good at things, but balance it out, like with any other character.

You don't have to use all of these points, but they are still worth at least considering. For example, Toph fails all of these points except the first three. Despite that, she's still one of my favorite disabled characters in media, even if she's not perfect, and I'm not alone in thinking that. I've seen lots of other disabled people say the same about her. Which of these points you should use will depend on your story, character, setting and tone. As I've mentioned a few times now, the key is striking a balance. At the end of the day though, these are only general pieces of advice and a lot more factors go into making a character like this work. only disabled people will be able to tell you if you've pulled it off, and that's where beta-readers and disabled sensitivity readers come in!

Also, remember, these kinds of tropes don't just apply to the more common/well-known disabilities like amputations and wheelchair users, that's just what I have experience with! Be sure to research any disabilities your character has to ensure you are not falling into these tropes.

[slamdunktheories]

Sendoh Akira: A Character Analysis (Translated)

One of the best and most memorable Slam Dunk character analyses I’ve ever read was actually an answer to a question hilariously titled: “How do I marry Sendoh Akira?” (Author: 木子妞 - Link). The first half of the answer was particularly incisive and made me consider things I'd never noticed about Sendoh.

The original is in Chinese but here's an English version of the first half thanks to a nifty translating tool (I've edited for clarity and brevity; parts in bold for emphasis). Let's dive in!

~ Start of translation ~

Question: How do I marry Sendoh Akira?

Answer: 1) MENTAL SPEED

First, you have to be excellent - not in a Mary Sue protagonist way with incredible beauty and tremendous wealth etc.— these aren’t relevant in Sendoh’s eyes. Instead, your emotional intelligence needs to be genuinely outstanding.

Why? Because it’s important to understand Sendoh Akira as a person, and he’s not an easy person to understand. I’m not talking about his interests either; those are secondary; it's mainly about understanding his inner world.

The thing is, Sendoh is actually a very lonely person, and I think this loneliness is not by choice. No one in Ryonan really understands him; they are not on his level and don’t genuinely understand him. Case in point: in the match against Kainan, right at the end of regulation time Sendoh went for a dunk but deliberately went at a slower speed to allow Maki to catch up to him.

Sendoh’s idea of drawing a foul from Maki to turn the shot into a 2+1 would’ve meant that Ryonan would win the match by a point. But in that entire arena, only Maki, Fujima and Aida understood this plan. Even Coach Taoka got excited about getting into overtime without realizing that if the 2+1 plan failed, Ryonan would almost certainly lose.

Sendoh's mind works too fast for most people to keep up with, and his standards are high. He also can’t be bothered to explain more than is necessary and so as a result is forced into solitude. Which is why if you want to draw his attention, you need to be sharp enough to keep up with him mentally — imagine how high your IQ must be for that!

2) IDOLISATION

Second, don’t treat Sendoh like a genius or idealise him too much, and definitely don’t put him on a pedestal to worship. Accept the real him, including his flaws. And there are a few.

For one, Sendoh is quite stubborn. In the aforementioned match against Kainan, Maki at one point said, "Don’t think I'll let you dunk easily." To which Sendoh responded, "I'll definitely dunk to show you. Just once in this match..." And he was as good as his word, pulling off the dunk right at the end of regulation time as part of the aforementioned 2+1 plan.

Sendoh also holds grudges. In the prefecture match against Shohoku, after Miyagi managed to score against him, Miyagi mocked him, saying, "Did you think I'd always wait for you to block?" Later, when Sendoh noticed Shohoku was running into foul trouble, who did he target first? Who did he go after to draw another foul? Miyagi.

Sendoh can also be petty. When Rukawa scored quickly, everyone marveled at the speed of his shooting that even he, Sendoh, couldn't block, and Sendoh responded by scoring right away using the exact same technique as Rukawa.

In other words, the so-called basketball genius/living legend isn’t necessarily the real Sendoh Akira himself. Sendoh the basketball player gets lionised a lot but the real Sendoh actually has a temper.

The main difference that sets him apart from others is that he isn’t as easily bothered by things. Sendoh is more mature than his peers, and he’s able to keep most of his emotions in check or bury them deeper so it's harder for people to notice them.

But if you really want to draw his interest on the romantic front, you’ll need to treat him as an ordinary person. That’s how you'll earn his respect. To be clear, it’s not about playing hard to get; it’s about seeing him with a calm mind.

Because of Sendoh's relatively mild temperament and easygoing nature, when it comes to piquing his genuine romantic interest, Sendoh Akira is the most difficult man to deal with in all of Slam Dunk. Much more difficult than Rukawa.

Rukawa can be lured by some top class basketball intel, but Sendoh Akira has almost no weak points to exploit, precisely because so little gets him worked up. The only seeming weakness is his loneliness.

If you can 1) make him feel understood and 2) do so without needing to say it out loud, then you might have a chance with him. These two points are prerequisites. And if you feel you could pull off both points and truly love him to the point of marrying no one but him, then continue reading for some specific methods, though they're not guaranteed to work.

~ End of translated first half ~

We'll skip the second half since it's not that relevant in terms of character analysis. (But it is worth a read if you are a Sendoh fan. It covers a rather elaborate plan!)

On the topic of Sendoh, I would also add that him misremembering Sawakita's name isn't pure coincidence/a gag but perfectly in keeping with his character IMO. He seems the type that is competitive right in the middle of a match but once the match is over, he doesn't hold on to losses as tightly as, say, Rukawa. I mean, let's face it. If the same thing happened to Rukawa (losing big time to Sawakita) you can bet he'd remember Sawakita's name till the end of time. But Sendoh doesn't take such losses quite so personally, and that's why he'd be the type to misremember the name of someone who beat him.

[delawaredetroit]

According to you, Bakugou doesn't have a lot of relevant weight in the plot even though he was the one who ended up with AFO and learned to be a hero? Aren't these important concepts in bnha, what does it mean to be a real hero? Besides he had even better fights than Midoriya and he did achieve his goal, horikoshi indeed treated him like a main character.

Okay, I'll break this down one at a time.

Bakugou landing the final blow on prepubescent All for One is not a theme, it's a plot point.

Yes, learning to be a hero is a running theme throughout BNHA and it applies to any number of characters outside of Bakugou including Izuku, Ochako, Iida, Shouto, etc. However, Bakugou is one of the least effective applications of that theme.

There are other characters who more effectively implemented the aspects of the becoming a true hero character arc like (1) a hero initially in the business for monetary gain (Ochako and Mount Lady), (2) the hero hopeful who didn't prioritize saving others (Iida), and (3) the hostile hero student who didn't respect others (Shouto).

Why were their arcs more effective? Because BNHA was also about going beyond expectations (plus ultra). It took Bakugou until the end of Act Three to meet society's existing definition of a hero. Saving and cooperation mattered even during All Might's time. And it's unclear even at the end of it all whether Bakugou just incorporated saving as an element of winning rather than valuing it for its own sake.

Compare that with say Ochako or Iida. Ochako always understood the value of saving in the abstract (see the entrance exam), but it was secondary to her personal financial goals. Saving became her priority as a hero after the Overhaul Arc. From the Joint Training Arc on, she went beyond the standard concept of a hero by including heroes and villains in who she believed should be saved.

Early on, Iida outright ignored those in danger in the entrance exam (Izuku and Ochako) and during the Hero Killer Arc (Native) in the pursuit of his own goals. He determined that while he still believed Stain was a terrible villain, he was right about Iida not being fit as he was to be a true hero. He worked hard to become a more selfless person. By the Provisional Licensing Exam, he was sprinting past the expectations of a pro hero by making sure all of his classmates passed the first round before passing himself.

These last few comments seem to be a dig at Izuku for some reason. I have no idea what you mean by better fights. Better by what metric? Since Bakugou is more of a natural genius character, his fights tend to be more fluid in a purely visual sense compared to Izuku's fights. But fights in shounen manga are vehicles for communication, confrontations of opposing forces or ideas. Bakugou is so self-absorbed as a character that his fights are rarely interesting in this way because he refuses to listen to others for the most part.

Neither Izuku nor Bakugou achieved all of their goals. Izuku did not physically save Shigaraki. Bakugou's stated goal since the beginning of BNHA was to become number one hero, and he was still not number one hero in the final chapter.

Bakugou is certainly written with some standard shounen protagonist tropes with the ugliest aspects of them cranked up to eleven. He's far too sequestered from most of the main plotline to be "the main character" of BNHA though.

[lightlessons]

How to Read 108: A Chapter-by-Chapter Death Note Analysis

Hello everyone! Welcome back to second part of my analysis on Death Note’s first chapter, entirely dedicated to everyone’s favorite mass murderer, home boy Light Yagami!

Chapter 1: Boredom. Lilith’s Breakdown. Part 2

Establishing the protagonist:

Light and expectations

Light’s resignation

Light’s cognitive dissonance

Establishing the protagonist

In A Guide to Screenwriting Success, Stephen Duncan refers to them as the character who drives the story forward, who makes the key decisions that affect the plot, often being the one who faces the most obstacles. The OSU College of Liberal Arts says they are the character whose fate matters the most, and usually the emotional heart of the narrative.

There are many definitions one can find online about what a protagonist is, the most oversimplified ones defining the protagonist under the same veil as the hero. But most of us here know that isn’t quite how it works. Still, even though we might be used to anti-hero protagonists by now (Deadpool, Saitama, Dr. House to name a few…) straight-up villain protagonists are rarer to come by, and, most specially, they usually don’t come by in the form of a teenager--or look anything like the guy in the picture above-- which is perhaps the main thing that makes Light stand out in a sea of manga MC’s and remain culturally relevant.

Light is a blueprint of his kind, becoming the point of comparison for other animanga protagonists that fall through a moral decline. To showcase how Light differs from even his own architype, I’m going to be taking three of some of the most famous examples in media and intermittently compare them to Light Yagami in this analysis: Macbeth from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Rodion Raskolnikov from Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment and Star War’s Anakin Skywalker.

Light and expectations:

As we had seen in my previous post, we begin the story with a schoolboy disconnected from his immediate surroundings, his whole posture and expression reflecting the “boredom” that it’s the title of this chapter. His status as protagonist highlighted by the fact that he’s the only one looking directly at us. While all his classmates distract themselves with things inside the classroom (their friends, their books, their phones, or simply sleeping) Light gazes out the window, almost as if hoping that something external will offer more intrigue than the monotony of his current situation.

And he gets his wish! A notebook falls from the sky. We know what happens next. Light picks it up, as it is the only thing that’s interrupted his ennui. He’s initially unimpressed by it, although he commends whoever did it for at least committing to the bit.

Ohba doesn't reveal the true outcome of the event right away. Instead, he makes us wait, fast-forwarding five days before slowly unfolding the details. This deliberate withholding of information is a recurring technique throughout Death Note, fueling the tension and intrigue that characterizes the manga, leaving us eager to piece the puzzle together.

But the next set of panels is what I want us to take a closer look at this chapter:

 If you know anything about Japanese culture, you’re probably aware of the immense importance that academic success has on a japanese student’s life. To give some context to what’s happening here, I’ll quote Independent researcher Steve Bossy on his report Academic Pressure and Impact on Japanese Studies from 2000:

“In 1872, the Meiji government introduced a public educational system that made higher education accessible to anyone who was intelligent enough to qualify. (…) The entrance examination became the sole instrument by which all students were measured. Tokyo University became the pinnacle of academic achievement and the gateway to future success. Only the most intelligent students were admitted and upon graduation were rewarded with the best jobs. (…) The university entrance examination is the gatekeeper that provides access to and ultimately determines students' future success and status. The university that a student attends is most often the sole criterion that employers consider in their decision to hire a potential candidate.”

It’s no wonder, then, that Light’s mom has been eagerly waiting for his results on the practice exam for this life-determining test. Although we have to take into account, Sachiko says he has placed first again, so his parents are pretty used to his academic success, and Sachiko was just eager for confirmation on her son’s competence. Light is so used to this by now he does not demonstrate any pride or enthusiasm about having placed first nationally on the practice test for what is arguably the most important exam of his life. Perhaps he might have, were it not for the much more significant matter occupying his mind at the moment, though I doubt it. As we’ve already firmly established: Light is bored.

So, we have already identified one expectation Light has: he is presumed to excel academically. By Japanese society standards, this is a promise his parents see of his successful future.

This is then reinforced by what his cram schoolteacher is shown to say in the flash-back: Light wasn’t just Japan’s number one in that sole mock test, he is already Japan’s number one student.

We can then add a new expectation:

Light is expected to keep his place as top nation-wide student and elevate the standing of the schools he attends.

Light doesn’t seem to find this to be such a difficult task though, considering the nonchalant way he brings the results to his mother. He is assured to attend the most prestigious university of the country, so then why, we may ask, does he even attend a prep school in the first place?

We can find the answer here:

In Japan, it is common for students to attend supplementary classes due to the intense competition within the education system and the critical significance of the entrance exam. So even top students like Light would be expected to attend these types of schools to give themselves an edge. Or as Light puts it: Serious, straight-A, model teenagers. This is who Light is—what he expects of himself and what everyone else expects of him: to embody the ideal of what a Japanese boy should be, to serve as a model others look up to, the standard by which they should shape themselves. Academically focused, respectful of authority, socially responsible, and attuned to societal norms.

Light’s resignation:

Now that we have established who Light Yagami is, let’s examine more of his initial thought process when presented with the seemingly impossible reality that the random notebook that fell from the sky is, in fact, a supernatural murder weapon.

As previously noted, we don’t immediately learn about Light’s reaction to his discovery. Instead we meet him again after he’s had five days to process his experience. Then Ryuk, whom we’ve already met, shows his rather unpleasant face to an unexpecting Light, and scares the pants out of the boy.

Or so it seems.

Despite the initial scare, Light has had the foresight to attribute the notebook to a Shinigami, and supposedly had been waiting for them to show up. Light, at this point, had fully accepted the supernatural explanation, and braved with a resolved face whatever consequence it might bring.

But how did Light recognize the connection to a Shinigami, and what does that mean in Japanese culture? The evolution of the concept of death is a fascinating subject, and while I recommend further reading on the topic (such as this article), to summarize: Shinigami are said to be the Japanese Grim Reaper, a relatively recent addition to their folklore, much as the Grim Reaper is for the West, and it was produced as a result of the increased interaction of these two cultures. A difference is that, traditionally, they are less seen as harvesters of souls but as creatures who ensure the smooth running of the cycle of life, performing their duty without malice and remaining morally neutral.

The Shinigami in Death Note are a fusion of these traditional Japanese beliefs and Western, particularly Christian, cautionary tales. This blending of cultural influences is a prominent theme throughout the manga (and anime), which I will explore in more detail in future entries.

But let’s go back to our protagonist. While both the Western Grim Reaper and the Shinigami ultimately bring death, Light doesn’t seem daunted by this prospect. This raises an important question: Did he have a plan to convince a literal god like Ryuk to spare him, or was he content with having made a difference, however brief? As Ryuk points out:

Ryuk, a timeless entity for all we know, singles Light out among what could be centuries of Death Note users. This continues to drive the point for the audience of Light being an extraordinary individual, now not just by his intelligence, but by his adamant determination.

However, Light’s apparent perfect composure in this scene is not entirely genuine. He is sweating profusely through this whole interaction--something that we will rarely see from him in the rest of the story. It makes sense, for its his life at stake here.  But it gives us an insight into Light’s ability to suppress his natural human emotions in favor of retaining a sense of dominance and control. At this point, Light really cannot have any idea of what awaits him, or how to bargain with a being like Ryuk, yet he is intent on directing the exchange in his own terms. He even has a prepared Q&A:

I know the dramatic way in which Light swooshes open the notebook is sort of hilarious, but upon re-read, it made me think further upon this display with Ryuk. We know Light thought it wasn’t chance but choice that made Ryuk give him the Death Note, so did he want to demonstrate his worthiness to the Shinigami? His fearlessness? Did he have a whole speech planned on why he should be allowed to keep using the Death Note? After all, we learn seconds later that he had already formed his long-term plan of ruling the world, so did he plan to offer his soul, in pure Faustian manner, for the chance to wield the Shinigami’s power?

In the end, Light learns that there is nothing he has to offer—no bargain to be made. Instead, the conditions of the Death Note say he will experience fear and torment (which he has already done), that Ryuk will write his name when he dies (which results in the same thing) and that he can go to neither heaven nor hell.

This last one could be considered the greatest sacrifice, upon first read. But it is also a pretty neutral consequence that doesn’t promise reward nor suffering. Of course, it isn’t until the final chapter that we learn it isn’t really a sacrifice, as every other human shares the same fate.

Hence Light’s ecstatic look.

There is then a subversion to Christian narratives by keeping Ryuk’s role neither malevolent nor benevolent. He does not actively tempt Light to keep using the notebook, and even gives him a way out by offering the option of giving it to another human if he doesn’t want it. He has no interest in convincing Light of anything. This is similar to the role of the three witches in Macbeth, who instigate the narrative by sharing a prophecy, but do not manipulate or coerce Macbeth into taking any specific action. However, a key difference in the start of this story and that of Macbeth’s is the idea of destiny. Ryuk mocks Light for believing himself special, in contrast to the witches assuring that Macbeth would be a King. Light's confidence in his potential to rule the world is entirely self-driven, rather than being shaped by prophecy or fate.

Light’s cognitive dissonance:

Ah, we’re finally at the pivotal moment of this first chapter. The moment that will define Light’s character for us moving forward.

So finally, after Light’s interesting conversation with Ryuk we are thrown back into the flashback that explains how he came to write all those names. The events go as follows: Light was bored, so he decided to write a name on the strange thing he brought home-- just for the sake of it. Despite mostly believing the notebook to be a prank in bad taste, as a strategic thinker, he immediately envisions possible scenarios where it could be real and plans his actions accordingly. He even berates himself for this:

But of course, the Death Note works, exactly as the instructions said.

Up until this point, Light’s actions could be entirely written off as an accident. Kind of like a child shooting a gun because they can’t discern the danger of it. But the event is so monumental, so outside of normal bounds that Light’s young and curious mind cannot simply leave it be and risk another murder. He needs answers and he needs answers now.

Light is fully aware that his actions are socially reprehensible, which would explain why he decides to continue acting by himself. Not to mention the ridicule, too, were he to hand the notebook to the police and it turned out to have been just a coincidence. And Light Yagami is not socially reprehensible and he is not ridiculous. But there is something else, too.

Light Yagami feels detached and high above the world.

It’s natural, as he literally is above his peers in at least the standard by which they are more strictly measured. In a culture where academic achievement is synonymous with social value, Light’s intellectual superiority is reinforced by his position as the model student, but he is also a 17-year-old with a skewed sense of long-term consequences and proportionality, reacting with his amygdala to his immediate environment instead of keeping on with the cool rationality he believes himself to possess. An example of this is when he considers killing one of his fellow classmates for bullying and coercion. A rather minor offense when compared to the criminals Kira would first execute, and directly contradicting the first precaution he’d already thought for himself: to not kill anyone directly associated with him.

But then he conveniently finds a perfect target, another one that he can justify to himself in the context of preventing a heinous crime.

When the Death Note works once again, it finally confirms Light as a murderer, and this is when the cognitive dissonance takes place.

In psychology, cognitive dissonance is a mental conflict that occurs when your beliefs don’t line up with your actions. This discomfort motivates individuals to reduce the inconsistency, usually by changing their believes, justifying their actions, or minimizing their importance.

Light’s cognitive dissonance almost makes him wretch, makes him question himself and consider throwing away the Death Note, which he refers to as an ‘evil thing’.

But he begins to resolve this dissonance by reframing his believes in order to justify the new image of himself as a murderer. Light’s inner conflict plays out over at least a day, during which his conscious mental battle is not whether what he did was justified, but whether or not he will be able to take on the role that would justify it.

In the end, if he doesn’t take the role of a vigilante, he would have to face the breaking of his self-schema as a moral and upstanding citizen. But the decision to continue killing would also transform him into something else. This conflict between morality and identity is so strong those first few days, that Light admits to having persistent nightmares and loses 10 pounds in 5 days. But ultimarely, the dissonance is resolved with a perfect, if delusional and self-aggrandizing, moral justification: Not only is it right to become the world’s judge and executioner, but he is the only one capable of doing so.

An extraordinary cognitive re-structuring and self-deception in a relatively short amount of time. But then again, we have already reiterated throughout this meta that Light is not an ordinary individual.

And who better, honestly, to carry us through this particular story? What are the limits of these character’s self-justification? What are the consequences of a God’s power in the hands of a mere human? And what happens when a brilliant mind has to contest with a teenager’s inflated ego?

I wasn’t expecting to have this much to say about the first chapter, I’m looking at the page count of this document with a bit of terror, honestly, but it just goes to show how strongly Death Note manages to establish its main themes from its opening and all the questions it leaves the reader with, inviting us to take part of this unconventional psychological thriller.

If you read up until this point kudos to you and I hope you enjoyed my brain’s rambling, I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback. I don’t know if next entries are going to be this long, but I am enjoying finding new things to ponder about this series, that I hadn’t even thought about after 5 years of being a fan!

Next entry! Chapter 2: L. Lilith’s Breakdown

Previous entry: Chapter 1: Boredom. Lilith’s Breakdown. Part 1

[tobiasdrake]

Dragon Ball Daima, episode 5. Time to meet the new girl for realsies.

For like forty years.

Goku's leaving out information that's extremely relevant to the new girl's question. The reason he has the skills of a middle-aged martial arts master is because that is literally what he is.

We're still going to the castle? I thought we turned around to go chase the Dragon Ball instead. Maybe I misunderstood.

Gloom n' Doom was trying to leave her behind but we all know who the real star is, and he accepts bribes in exchange for friendship.

He also accepts friendship without bribes. He's just nice. But he's not gonna turn down some onigiri if you're offering.

We have a name! Between Glorio and Panzy, it seems the denizens of Daimakai have flowers for their name pun theme.

(Goku, you named your son after rice. You have no room to talk.)

Not sure if the exchange over whose name is weirder is meant to be a parallel to Goku's first meeting with Bulma. Very rarely do the punny names get called out as funny in-universe.

They're going the "Everyone has their own unique superpower" route for the Majin, I see. And Panzy's is....

Telekinesis.

We've seen telekinesis a few times. Chiaotzu and Guldo are the most prolific telekinetic characters. But they're also...

Like. They both kinda fall into the category of "Characters who got exactly one fight and then fucked off or died." We've never had a character who was important to the plot and had abilities centered around psychic powers.

I hope that's about to change but Dragon Ball is notoriously terrible with its female characters so I'm not taking anything for granted.

Panzy is completely ruining Glorio's vibe as our solemn guide to the demonic lands and he can die mad about it. XD

Weird thing to have a character say before cutting to a montage of everyone pleasantly sightseeing with no trouble whatsoever while happy fun-time music plays in the background.

The front gate is HUNGRY OM NOM NOM NOM

Is....

...is the plan to raise Baby Dende like an ordinary child over the course of many years so that he imprints on Gomah and comes to see this castle and its occupants as his home and family?

Is that what we're doing here?

(Wouldn't he still have his memories? Goku and the others do.)

Oh, she is definitely like the king's daughter or something. There's a reason she happens to know the most convenient way to and from the castle. Glorio needs to learn how to read a room.

You know, I really thought they were gonna tease that out a bit longer.

She's got her own distinct style to her but she's definitely a bootleg copy of Bulma. Child genius female super-mechanic who attaches herself to Goku after seeing how powerful he is and happens to be the daughter of the most rich and powerful family in the region. There's visibly a lot of Bulma in her character DNA.

Even her logo on the front of her shirt often looks like a C because of the stuff covering it.

Which is kinda making me start to wonder if Glorio is a bootleg copy of Future Trunks. Grim and serious demeanor, showing up out of nowhere in a magical fantasy vehicle, leaning on a weapon but also being able to fight without it, that jacket... Huh.

HAHAHA NO

Goku, sure, but Kaioshin is one whole Fuck No in the realm of fighting Majin Buu. It is thoroughly established that he'd be up shit creek without a paddle in a straight fight with Buu.

...

In fact, so is Goku. The only form of Buu that Goku has ever been a match for is Fat Buu. And that is strictly hypothetical, based on Goku's impression of Buu versus how strong Super Saiyan 3 is supposed to be..

Strictly hypothetically, his Super Saiyan 3 could waste Pure Buu too. We all saw how well that worked out.

"Wait but wasn't Goku holding back so Vegeta could have a turn?"

Common misconception but no. Vegeta accuses Goku of that, but Goku was sincerely giving Buu his all and getting wrecked. Super Saiyan 3 is the only form Goku has that can match Buu on paper, but Super Saiyan 3's drawbacks prevent it from being able to match Buu in practice.

So. Uh. No. There is not a single person in this room that can cash the check that Glorio's stupid mouth has written. Not counting sequel series that haven't taken place yet at this point in the timeline, the only time Goku has ever been on Buu's level was when he had Vegeta to fuse with.

Seems legit. I like the cut of his jib. We should definitely make him king.

He commodifies women as bargaining chips to be bought and sold by their fathers. I don't like the cut of his job. We should not make him king.

Goku proving himself by fighting all the royal guards at once is a fun fight, well animated, and nicely paced. But I particularly enjoyed this moment.

Goku transforming to Super Saiyan not to actually go Super Saiyan but just to use the burst of ki that comes from it as a radial attack to blow the goons away. Weaponizing the power-up itself.

Some real "Shazam hits his opponent with the transformation lightning bolt" energy going on here.

...

I legit thought this guy was going to, like, reveal some sort of power that lets him teleport directly to Earth and then bring back Vegeta, Bulma, and Piccolo in a snap.

I'm looking forward to having Panzy on the team. Especially when Bulma gets here. I can't wait for Bulma to meet Discount Bulma.

[homestuckreplay]

Fluthlu. Nrub’yiiglith. Oglogoth. ELDRITCH JASPERS

(page 1149-1153; ‘[S]: Enter.’)

[note: I finally gave up on taking screenshots direct from flash. everything in this post comes from this youtube mirror]

I’ve watched this a few times now and it is still near impossible to react to. It is so much all at once, it’s even faster paced than a movie trailer but it has the emotional impact of a full movie because of everything that’s come before it. I want another week off just to watch this over and over and process it because it is hard to do justice to such a visual/auditory experience in words.

This flash incorporates most of page 137 (the Sburb installation), and that flash was also timed perfectly to fit the music – so it had to be the same song to make it work. But this page takes it further, because when miniature panels move onto the screen and displace each other, it’s also perfectly in sync. Is this what dance choreography is like?

The fire motif is present right from the loading screen, and Rose’s house is burning all the way through. I think this is why I don’t entirely click with the kids having elemental affiliations – fire/meteors are seen more generally, and affect everyone (even WV when his bunker takes flight!) so I see that as important overall, not just for one specific character.

Rose

Rose has the most going on here and is really the central character of the flash, so I’ll talk about her first and finish up with a little on each of the other three kids. The meteors over her Sburb title screen make the game look scarier this time around – but in a way it’s less scary, because at least people know what they’re doing, evidenced by how quickly and efficiently her entry almost went.

Dave throwing Rose’s bed into the fire is just like when Rose threw John’s tent into the void (p.616). There’s this very unsettling idea that the kids aren’t allowed to take a moment to rest, which will definitely come into conflict with the importance of dreams.

Jaspers being prototyped manages to be a big dramatic moment even though he has such a goofy, simple cat face, which is really impressive.

Zazzerpan breaks, just as we saw in the future on pages 715 and 757, and it’s hard to make sense of in the chaos of the flash. But as I understand it – Dave uses him to smash open the cruxtruder, then drops him outside, where his hand and orb fall off. Pillars of lightning and fire strike, and that or his wizard magic toss him back into the air. The orb hand flies, knocking Rose’s entry item off the stupidly and precariously placed alchemiter (at which point Dave is already reaching for the Eldritch Princess Doll for Tier 2 Prototyping – whose idea was this?) The bottle flies into the waterfall, and Rose knows it’ll be carried by the current. She gets a devious, calculating look and leaps after it. She catches it, and would fall to her death (?) if she wasn’t rescued by Eldritch Jaspers’ long stretchy knitted arms pulling her back to the house.

If Rose is scared here, she doesn’t show it. She has the true mad scientist ethos of being willing to do whatever it takes no matter how dangerous. And a zoologically dubious cat is the PERFECT pet/mad scientist lab assistant for her, just like OG Jaspers and Vodka Mutini might’ve been Mom’s lab assistants.

Rose’s pre-punched card being a bottle is another obvious link to Mom, who hasn’t been seen since ‘WV: Ascend’. Just like John, Rose’s card doesn’t only produce the item (bottle, apple), but also Something That Provides The Item (liquor cabinet, tree). The item is the same color and texture as the cruxite that produces it, and these special entry items work differently to all other alchemy.

I did some research on symbolism of bottles – apparently in the Bible they can symbolize preservation or fragility, and in other contexts they can symbolize the womb or confinement. There’s also the ‘message in a bottle’ idea that feels relevant since this one almost got thrown out to sea. The bottle needs to be broken for Rose to enter – or specifically, uncorked, as WV’s command station turns out to be the cork in a larger bottle buried in the ruins of Rose’s house. Uncorking (or smashing) a bottle, just like biting an apple, can’t be undone. Entering the Medium is a one way street, something is destroyed and permanently changed in the process.

Both entry items relate to food, as does the third one we know of – the ‘eggy lokin thign [sic]’ (p.240) – though as they’re all made of cruxite, they might not be edible. Rose’s bottle comes from a liquor cabinet, already a major feature of her house, and John’s apple comes from a tree, and he, too, has a tree in his yard – these things come to the Medium with them. I think as part of Sburb indexing a player’s house for the server player, transportation to the Medium, and provide options for alchemy, it also chooses an entry item tailored to the specific player, and the shared meaning of the items will become clearer when we have all four.

Rose waits until the last possible moment to smash the bottle, just like John with the apple. Unlike with John, there’s a moment where we can see Rose’s house flicker and vanish with the meteor BARELY above it, as though the whole thing was being selected with the cursor, plucked from its foundations and dragged somewhere else.

Dave

Character development moment: Dave drinks the apple juice from his closet and it isn’t piss. He also draws Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff with a mouse, and while he’s still trying to make it bad on purpose – setting the quality slider to 0 – it’s hard to draw anything recognizable with a mouse. I know that making intentionally ‘bad’ art is its own skill, but I have a lot of questions about what Dave’s ‘good’ visual art would look like, what medium he would use, and if he actually knows what he’s capable of in practice or if he’s too scared of that kind of vulnerability.

Dave gets attacked by crows mid-flash as they all burst through the gaffa taped window hole, and I think this has something to do with the beta discs. They were first stolen by a crow, which died for its efforts, and more and more crows have been circling since. And here on the same page that we see the discs appear somewhere else, the crows attack. A DISTACTION, perhaps, while something else scoops up the discs? If the OG crow turns out to want the discs for something more than just being rambunctious it will be the biggest plot twist in Homestuck.

Jade

Jade doesn’t do much! She lass scampers into the mystic ruins and takes the elevator, and I like that she suddenly looks scared when confronted with the lotus flower and countdown. She’s never seen this in a vision and doesn’t know what to do with it, and maybe for a moment – before she falls asleep – she regrets her decision to come in here. The flower opens to reveal the same white, glowing spirograph that Bec was guarding billions of years ago (p.1073), the one that the ruins possibly sprung up to protect. And when the timer ends, the spirograph drops Dave’s juice-stained beta discs, as stolen by a RAMBUNCTIOUS CROW on April 13, 2009 (p.353).

If Jade is a pawn in Skaia’s grand plan, then she does need to access the Medium – and apparently, she needs to access it while awake, not just in dreams. But the timer in Rose’s lab could have been counting for up to 10,000 years, while the mystic ruins timer could be up to 10 billion years, and the furthest we’ve seen something appearified or sendificated is a few hundred years. Setting up a time loop to the earliest days of Earth is a whole different level. Did Bec know exactly what he was guarding, or did he just know it was important? And is there anything – beyond the general importance of time loops to the story – that makes this specific pair of discs special, meaning Jade has to have these, not another set?

John

Nanna writes her note in John’s new Colonel Sassacre’s (first seen on p.759) with glowing blue text eye beams, and intentionally drops it into the void below. I originally thought the message was from pre-death Nanna as the text was black, but apparently it’s just aged. Which means that Nanna didn’t necessarily know anything about Sburb before she was prototyped, and everything could come from her NPC programming. But more importantly, this proves that the new Sassacre’s from John’s magic chest (p.8) and the aged Sassacre’s from Dad’s safe (p.542) are the same book in an extended timeloop, and from now on I’m assuming that whenever we see two of the same item, it’s the same item traveling through time. Bro’s shades + Dave’s original shades are a possibility.

We get a brief glimpse of a shimmering blue land with pockets of light below gray clouds – perhaps ‘the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds’ where John’s ‘true work may begin’ (p.895). It looks both luminous and ominous, positioned as it is between those two planets. And seeing John’s house zoom out on pages 1150-1152 – an extension of the zoom out on page 250, where we first saw John’s house alone in the void – I’m reminded of the Wayward Vagabond’s planets on page 703. The one on the right has gray clouds too, although black instead of dark blue, so hard to say for definite.

John fights better in a suit!! I genuinely believe this – he designed an outfit for himself, and it was something that made him feel cool and mature and important, and that’s just as crucial to winning a fight as all his new weapons. And the gate is very magic portal the way it glows all around him and holds him suspended in mid air. That’s two out of three acts that have ended with John getting portaled to another location.

Final thoughts

I honestly could go on forever. While I’m obsessed with this flash, it feels more like a huge moment of change in the story than tying up throughlines of Act 3. The ‘Dear X…’ notes do get tied up here, but the other recurring ideas have been gifts/presents/the mail, the trolls and their impact on the kids’ lives, and Jade’s island/the mystic ruins as a focal point. We do see inside the mystic ruins, but in a way that only creates more mysteries, not providing closure or new information.

Instead, this flash massively advances the story, taking us through Rose’s entire process of entering the Medium and having her sprite prototyped twice, and giving Jade the Sburb discs – something that was a major quest for both John and Dave, but just happens here. Rose’s ‘Let’s make shit take place.’ (p.1148) meant way more than just starting the game – Act 4 is going to be very different now that these huge changes have happened, there are zero known barriers to Dave entering the game, and if John is going down to the sparkly blue planet it’s believable that all four of them could be in the Medium by EOA4. The possibilities feel wide open in an absolutely thrilling way.

Surely Act 4 will happen immediately, and not be interrupted by any---

[katsu-curry835]

Why Bisexual Jon Snow Could Work /srs

Jon Snow is bisexual and here's why.

Aight, I'm aware the queer rep in asoiaf is pretty eh for the most part. Sweets is cool, and Loras and Renly have a nice implied relationship but Dany and Cersei having gay sex scenes felt way more fetishized than actually meaningful representation, especially since neither character considers a romance with a woman. Because of this, I'm gonna say that while I think this could be a valid direction to take the story, I'm like 50% sure that GRRM won't write it. Then again, it's been so long between books that times have literally changed and FnB seemed to have a ton of queer relationships so who knows.

Ok, ok, so I've laundered my argument; we all know why we're really here. Jon Snow could be bisexual and that could be really important for the story. Why?

First and most obvious is that it's another parallel with Dany. Jon and Dany have had storylines that directly mirror each other, especially in books 3 and 5. Dany is confirmed bisexual by the narrative, since she has regular sex with her handmaiden Irri, although because of her position of power over her, she tries to limit them. And, as already mentioned, she never gets to be romantically attracted to a woman. Maybe that's coming in future novels, who knows, but all that to say Dany and Jon mirroring each other on the bi front is not inconceivable, especially when you consider that there is already evidence for Jon being bi.

I'm sure most of you deep into this discourse(?) have probably predicted that I'm going to talk about Satin. And if this story does go in the 'Irri' direction, Satin is definitely the candidate for Jon's male love interest. He's a former prostitute from Oldtown, which mirrors another of Dany's handmaids (Doreah I think) and he's Jon's steward, like Irri is to Dany. Other characters also seem to think that Satin has kinda slept his way up the ranks to being Jon's steward, confirming at least that this idea is in GRRM's head. I wanna take a look at a few scenes and see how they could imply a future relationship between Jon and Satin. Take a look at this fight scene between Jaime and Brienne (I promise this is relevant.)

"'Give me the sword, Kingslayer.'

'Oh I will.' He sprang to his feet and drove at her, the longsword alive in his hands. Brienne jumped back, parrying, but he followed, pressing the attack. No sooner did she turn one cut than the next was upon her. The swords kissed and sprang apart and kissed again. Jaime's blood was singing...

...The dance went on. He pinned her against an oak, cursed as she slipped away, followed her through a shallow brook half choked with fallen leaves. Steel rang, steel sang, steel screamed and sparked and scraped, and the woman was grunting like a sow at every crash, yet somehow he could not reach her."

To me this scene has always read as implicitly foreshadowing Brienne and Jaime's future romance. Words like "kissed" or "grunted" or "pinned her against a tree" feel implicitly romantic/sexual, even the way the scene is described as a "dance." Jaime even says at a later point "Might I have this dance my lady" to mock her. Of course there is plenty more in the story as a whole that foreshadows Brienne and Jaime having a relationship, but I use this as an example because I want to point out how GRRM sometimes writes a fight scene as romantic and sexual foreshadowing, or at least that can be how some scenes are interpreted. Now I want to look at the scene where Jon trains Satin.

"It's too heavy," the Oldtown boy complained.

"It's as heavy as it needs to be to stop a sword," Jon said. "Now get it up." He stepped forward, slashing. Satin jerked the shield up in time to catch the sword on its rim, and swung his own blade at Jon's ribs. "Good," Jon said, when he felt the impact on his own shield. "That was good. But you need to put your body into it. Get your weight behind the steel and you'll do more damage than with arm strength alone. Come, try it again, drive at me, but keep the shield up or I'll ring your head like a bell . . ."

This scene reads similarly to me. Words like "jerked," "rim," "get it up," even the one word sentence "Come," can read as sexual foreshadowing in a similar way to Jaime and Brienne if you are given context that Jon and Satin do end up together. In particular, "ring your head like a bell" reminds me of a scene where Gendry gets approached by a girl but rejects her advances.

"I'm named Bella," the girl told Gendry. "For the battle. I bet I could ring your bell, too. You want to?"

I would be remised if I didn't mention that Jon calls Satin pretty three times in the chapter where he's supposed to be engaged in a battle with the wildlings. Like yeah, that's a bit weird, why are you thinking about that now Jon. Or I could mention the fact that he described Satin’s voice swearing his words as being like song and that he could smell the fresh sweet oils Satin rubbed into his beard. Jon… buddy you got something you wanna say? I’m joking of course: you don't have to be queer to recognize another man's beauty. What I think puts this into perspective is if you compare this to how he describes Val, someone who it's generally agreed upon that he takes an interest in.

Here's a quote where Jon describes Satin:

"The boy claimed to be eighteen, older than Jon, but he was green as summer grass for all that. Satin, they called him, even in the wool and mail and boiled leather of the Night's Watch; the name he'd gotten in the brothel where he'd been born and raised. He was pretty as a girl with his dark eyes, soft skin, and raven's ringlets. Half a year at Castle Black had toughened up his hands, however, and Noye said he was passable with a crossbow."

Now here's Val:

"Val stood on the tower roof, gazing up at the Wall. Stannis kept her closely penned in rooms above his own, but he did allow her to walk the battlements for exercise. She looks lonely, Jon thought. Lonely, and lovely. Ygritte had been pretty in her own way, with her red hair kissed by fire, but it was her smile that made her face come alive. Val did not need to smile; she would have turned men's heads in any court in the wide world."

I mean, the fact that "pretty" is a word used to describe both Ygritte and Satin is a connection that I shouldn't need to point out the significance of, but I digress. If you actually compare these quotes, both look like neutral descriptions of someone's appearance in isolation, however in context, you have to ask why the author shows you this stuff. Why does Jon comment on how good looking both of these characters are so often? It doesn't seem like there would be any other purpose to these, again, repeated descriptions of both Val and Satin other than to highlight that the fact that Jon finds both of them attractive is important.

Again, none of this proves anything outright. I mention this because this is the sort of thing where if you reread the books with this lens, suddenly more things start to jump out at you, and it can read like obvious foreshadowing you missed. Like when Catelyn sees her reflection in some armor and comments on how "drowned" she looks. It doesn't mean too much on a first read, but when you know what happens to her, it's some clever foreshadowing.

Another big reason I think Jon getting with Satin might be important is that you can see it as a pivotal part of Jon's character arc, specifically Jon's sexual awakening storyline. When Jon first has sex with Ygritte, she's the one who initiates the interaction. In fact she has been doing that the whole time he's had her hostage, teasing him with advances and mocking him for his inexperience. In the famous cave scene, Jon's thoughts are how he wants to bang her, but also about how it would be in conflict with his vows. That's the main reason he never has sex with her until she incites it on her own; it's not because he doesn't want to. It's because he thinks it would violate the words he swore at the weirwood.

So Ygritte begins this part of his arc, and Jon discovers that he likes having sex, how original. But he still feels reservations about it, during the act and afterwards. After all, his people resent him for being able to openly take a woman to bed with him, while they have to go to Mole's Town to dig if they want to get any action at all.

My view on this is that the story is heading in a sex-positive direction with respect to Jon. There’s plenty of theming about this “why is it a sin if it feels so good” etc etc. The books are full to the brim of people feeling needlessly guilty about having casual sex, Jon especially. Where I think this is headed, therefore, is probably something like a wildling understanding of sex; Jon has to view sex as Ygritte did, because that was always the healthiest way for him to go about it. Except this time, to complete his arc, he is going to need to take the initiative himself and embrace his desires like Ygritte did. Her teasing him for not doing this was trying to get him to come out of his shell. It would feel strange to me if this went nowhere. Jon needs a future romantic/sexual partner so that he can feel no qualms with taking the initiative with them. How he learns to do that is up to George but suffice it to say, however uncertain I maybe that this partner will be Satin, a future romance is in the cards for Lord Snow.

So Jon's in a bit of a bind here from a meta perspective. If we want him to complete his sexual awakening storyline, he's going to have to take the initiative himself with a partner without feeling any inhibitions. But he can't do that if he's still a brother of the Night's Watch because of the aforementioned conflict with his vows. But he's not going to stop being a crow, his vows are important to him. So how do we reconcile the fact that Jon's character arc about his sexuality needs to be resolved, but he also needs to keep to his words? Simple: make his next partner male so it doesn't violate anything.

I've actually thought this could work as a plot point for anyone either in the Night's Watch or the Kingsguard. One of these men surely has to consider at some point the obvious loophole of "so I can't bed a woman, but what about a man?" and how that affects their honor or whatever. It just slots kinda nicely into Jon's storyline here. Another reason it really works is that Jon is looking to socially progress the Night’s Watch: unity with the wildlings, defending Satin from homophobia etc. Him realising the obvious flaw of the vows for not considering that men can be romantically involved through his own experiences as a bi guy can help him begin to dismantle the outdated nature of the customs. He’s framed as this sort of reformer, and being a queer bastard (who is also probably the lost heir to the Targaryen dynasty) makes this thematically poignant. He’s an outcast, but also a king.

Of course, he’s always been an outcast, being queer would just help add to that. And this is just one way of writing this arc; I’m not married to this take on this basis alone.

I can so imagine a scene where Jon is having sex with Satin and the lit hearth is positioned behind Satin's head from Jon's POV and it looks like Satin's been 'kissed by fire.' Also, Jon considering how Ygritte would feel about him doing this and coming to that conclusion that she would be proud seems like a great way to end a chapter about the two hooking up because Jon's arc would be basically resolved.

This final part is something that I feel should not be left merely implied: Jon being canonically bisexual would be great representation. This is one of the most beloved and famous heroes in all of fantasy, hell, in all of modern fiction. Making him queer would be a really important step forward for queer rep that should not be underestimated. Verity Ritchie (VerilyBitchie on yt) did an excellent video essay on bisexuality in reality tv, a point from which I'm going to paraphrase: it's really hard to effectively depict bisexuals because any confirmed relationship with another character would look like they 'picked a side.' But in order to continually show someone's openness to sexual attraction to two or more genders, you risk going to far the other way, falling into the bisexual sex demon stereotype. This is a really difficult needle to thread, and is why we have characters like Nick Nelson constantly having to remind us that they're bi, rather than having us just assume they could be. Put simply, we need better bi representation, especially with men and Jon Snow is excellent casting for the role. His relationship to Ygritte is constantly referenced throughout the narration as something he treasures and misses, so there would be no doubt that he was not 'gay the whole time.' But, if the Satin story goes ahead, there can be no doubt he's not queer either. Literature is a great place to put bi characters, I think, since an internal monologue can remind you of past relationships with other characters of different genders and how they mean something to the character in question, but never undermining the integrity of the current relationship.

Me personally, I'd be buzzing for Jon Snow to be confirmed as bi. Really interested to see people's thoughts on this.

[kleinblue52]

It's been a little over a month since my second time at Next to Normal London and I have some thoughts

(note: this was mostly translated from a review I wrote in Italian so some phrasing might sound strange)

Like many of you, I knew Next to Normal thanks to several videos of the original Broadway production, while my first time live was with the good Italian adaptation directed by Marco Iacomelli. It’s a musical that I have always appreciated and admired, but for some reason, there had never been the emotional impact necessary to make me feel like it was mine. The original version was chronologically closer to the end of the nineties than any subsequent production and I believe that the influence of the analytical deconstruction of the American nuclear family so relevant in the culture of those years (think of American Beauty) greatly influenced how the musical was originally conceived. In the direction, in the performances of the original cast, in the visuals, I have always found a coldness that led the libretto towards biting and detached social criticism rather than emotional involvement. Obviously, I do not believe this is a flaw, on the contrary. I really appreciate the analytical approach to social criticism and I believe that in this Next to Normal was revolutionary in its genre. But a lot of time has passed since then and many things have changed in the way we perceive the concepts of family, social relationships, neurodivergence and gender. The thing that surprises me most, from a personal point of view, is that along with all this I also feel changed and the more the years pass the more I realize that intellectualism is not everything and that it’s so important to consume art that expresses pure and raw human experience, that shows open wounds without fear of being accused of excessive emotionality. Until a few years ago, the social attitude towards artistic experiences so shamelessly sincere in showing feelings branded them as superficial. Today, I believe, the trend is changing, the new generations are discovering the importance of sensitivity and fragility that doesn’t need to be hidden, which is no longer accompanied by a sense of shame and inferiority. This is the new Next to Normal. It is no longer the show of 2008, it is no longer a successful exercise in style that wants to say in music what Sam Mendes had said in film, what Jeffrey Eugenides and Sofia Coppola had said with their Virgin Suicides.

Next to Normal is now pure and raw life. It is the human experience that shows itself in all its incoherence, without fear of going straight to the heart, without fear of staging a melodrama in which there are no winners and no heroes, definitely without fear of making the audience uncomfortable. An audience that, if truly sensitive, will find something of their own personal chaos in the chaos of what is shown to us.

The price of love is loss, but still we pay, we love anyway. This, in my opinion, is the key lyric of this new identity of Next to Normal, a lyric that in its most intimate nature had not really found expression in the previous and more “clinical” versions of the musical. It is a sentence that for the first time truly speaks to the heart and expresses a chilling truth, which we must all accept as a rule of life and which all the characters on stage must accept by extension. You will always lose what you love, in one way or another. It is not just about the loss of Gabe. Diana loses herself along with her son, but she also loses the love of her life and loses the chance to be a mother to Natalie. Natalie loses faith in the possibility of changing and getting out of the unhealthy relationships of her family, ending up a victim, with the only glimmer of hope represented by Henry. Dan loses the girl he had loved and the boy he had been and, for the love of Natalie, he manages to save his sanity, but he loses the opportunity to know what it feels like to be a father to Gabe. Caissie Levy, Jamie Parker, Eleanor Worthington-Cox all have the ability to manifest the most intimate, difficult, disturbing part of their characters. They are people who are losing themselves and everything they believe in and like anyone with a heartbeat, the attitude in the face of loss is fear, anger, an extreme attempt to cling to what can be saved. It is not always pleasant to see, as I said there are no heroes on that stage and the three actors lose themselves into performances that seem to have no safety net.

Then there is Gabe. I have great respect for many of the actors who played him in the past, but theirs was the Gabe suited to that historical moment. He was the perfect varsity jock that every American soccer mom wanted: handsome, athletic, self-confident. With an unsolved mystery inside, which emerged restless and dangerous. In this new era in which sensitivity is the only weapon to counteract the lack of humanity that the world offers us, Jack Wolfe gives us a Gabe who is delicate, fragile, ambiguous, selfish and desperately attached to "life".

Every look, every gesture, every expression aided by Wolfe's enormous expressive eyes show us a Gabe who is not the projection of an ideal, but something much more terrible: he is the projection of disease, a shield that Diana uses to protect herself from reality, not by creating a perfect version of the son she never had, but by creating a codependent version of a son who will never leave her. Everything in Wolfe's Gabe speaks of a morbid attachment that Diana creates as the only way to ensure that Gabe never leaves her, using him to push Natalie and Dan away, shaping him in her mind as a boy who will never replace his mother with another woman. Just this morning I read that Michael Longhurst, the director, openly said that he took inspiration from his adolescence as a homosexual boy for his version of the character. The very strong queer-coding of this version of Gabe is perfect for this new vision of a codependent relationship and elevates the drama of loss to something heartbreaking and apparently with no escape. The other incredible aspect of the new direction of this new Gabe, and of the performance, is that for the first time the character made me feel uneasy. I thought after this second viewing that it would take very few changes to transform this production of Next to Normal into a real psychological horror in which the ghosts are pure destructive energy linked to the lack of a clear break with their life on earth. Because if we move away from the vision of Gabe as a projection of the disease, if we accept Gabe as an almost supernatural manifestation of unresolved mourning, the character in Wolfe's hands takes on frightening twists. His Gabe has the attitude of a newborn who has grown only in body. His needs are still the primary ones of the child he was when he died, his attachments are so strong and primordial that they lead him to challenge anyone who questions them. His need to have his mother by his side leads him to be destructive, but with all the naivety of a child who does not understand the consequences of his actions. From this point of view, There’s a World becomes a moment that really gives you the shivers, full as it is of all the need of a child who cannot imagine anything outside of his own needs. A child who, out of excess love, hugs his puppy too tightly and ends up suffocating it.

Finally, since I have already gone on too long, I just wanted to add how that hunger for love translates in this production also into a need to rediscover love for oneself, which however in the borderline situation described in the story becomes an unhealthy condition: the continuous parallels between Diana and Natalie, masterfully interpreted by the two actresses, show us the dark and self-destructive side of Diana, trapped in an infinite cycle of need to rediscover herself and need to love her daughter that transform into envy for the potential that her daughter still has ahead of her and that she has left behind. These types of parallels are often found between the characters and find a touching expression in the physicality of the actors, as in the choice to create continuous references between Diana and Gabe's movements, even before the audience becomes aware of the bond between the two. Every acting choice, every directorial choice, everything brings into that rational and linear kitchen (the Bauhaus poster is brilliant) the most twisted, confused, desperate and breathless aspect of the human experience. Next to Normal, in this version, is truly not just a show, it is a mirror.

[sazorak]

Every Game I Played in 2024, Ranked

Another year, another ordered list of video games. I've decided to abandon the major distinctions on release year because who cares.

Continuing honorable mention: I played a fuckton of Dwarf Fortress this year, as in previous years. Dwarf Fortress: still rules.

2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

14. Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster - 1991 / 2021 - Steam - ★★★

Look: I get it, FFIV is an Important game as far as RPGs go. It has a lot of cute moments and characters and that classic Final Fantasy charm. But as someone whose Final Fantasy gameplay experiences start with 5 and end at 12: Boy, this game lacks a lot of gameplay depth huh.

It still has all the typical-yet-interesting Final Fantasy boss weakness gimmicks, but there's an odd lack of the "building" aspect of RPGs. Characters gain levels and stats, and you can gear them up... but there's no actual decision making. Any unique aspects of equipment ("hey this one resists XYZ element!") do not matter when the base stat growths will fundamentally always matter more. It doesn't even take advantage of its large "playable" cast as you can't actually choose who is in your party at any given time. It is a very linear, hand-holdy experience that honestly feels incomplete when looked at with 2024-eyes.

I did enjoy my time by-and-large with FFIV, but particular towards the end I was forcing myself to finish it mostly out of a sense of sunk cost. I don’t think it has aged especially well.

That said: the Pixel Remaster aspect of it is a fine port. I do wish these pixel remasters included the stuff from the Advanced versions though. The Advanced version of IV even bothered to let you pick your party at the end!

13. Warhammer 40K: Mechanicus - 2018 - Steam - ★★★

I'm not sure whether Mechanicus is too long or just fundamentally missing some additional mechanic that makes it last into the double-digit-hours.

It's an enjoyable enough tactical game, with some really neat mechanics built around a dynamic action economy, but once you upgrade your Tech Priests and solve that action economy, everything goes off the rails. The difficulty curve is quite lop-sided; the first few missions were quite intense, but while the game keeps introducing more advanced Necron units to combat you, it's just not enough to keep up with what you're capable of. By the end it's trivial to twerk on even the final boss in a single turn.

Soundtrack is excellent, and I'm still quite interested in Mechanicus 2 so hey.

11. Warhammer 40K: Space Marine 2 - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

The sequel to 2011's most surprisingly decent third-person shooter, Space Marine 2 is... largely ok! Ironically it's a bit buggy at times, and it's definitely better suited towards multiplayer than singleplayer as far as the campaign goes. Said campaign is... well, it's a Warhammer 40K campaign. You run around and shoot at bozos while yelling FOR THE EMPEROR a bunch. Last time had Titus fighting orks and general Chaos dipshits, now he's fighting Tyranids and *specialized* Chaos dipshits. Could use more enemy variety, perhaps with more... tactical relevance to the units? As-is you have a few must-kill annoying units but otherwise the combat can be pretty brainless.

It's not groundbreaking, but the Warhammer setting polish present here is pretty good. Servo skulls and cherubs galore. It's still funny that they *insist* on every one of these games starring an Ultramarine, when seldom do they bother playing into any of the stuff that makes Ultramarines interesting. If you're just running around shooting games and going GRRR, that could be literally anybody. Yeah, Ultramarines are the default these days, but you could just make a new Chapter with some interesting gimmick, or bring in one of the more thematically or mechanically unique chapters then. Honestly: Should have been Dark Angels.

12. Marvel vs Capcom Fighting Collection - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

it's mahvel baby

Good collection, I enjoy dicking around in here with friends. Doesn't bring anything particularly stunning to the table beyond the included products, and I'm not exactly planning on grinding so I can get Wazzler'd into oblivion. Them going out of their way to fix certain glitches but then patching the game to add a toggle to enable the Juggernaut glitch is very funny, I approve.

Pricing is a lil whack for what it is, but hey that's modern video games. Where's a new Capcom Versus game?

10. Crusader Kings III 2024 DLC - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

CK3's DLC for the year was "Legends of the Dead", "Roads to Power", and "Wandering Nobles."

Legends of the Dead added plague and legend mechanics. The plague stuff is good, though it's either devastating or easily defeatable with little in-between at the moment. There is some anachronistic aspects I wish they'd change (isolating one's self away from the plague is a modern idea that would be alien to the time), but I understand that it's hard to handle people trying to metagame the realism of isolation otherwise. The legend mechanics are straight up mediocre; the act of formally promulgating your legend and paying folks to share your legend is just odd, and said legend benefits mostly you in life rather than your descendants after your passing. It's also oddly different from the existing reputation mechanics while thematically overlapping a little to much. I get that information is itself basically a disease that spreads in similar ways mechanically (mgs2-memes.jpg) but I don't think they did a good job with it here.

Roads to Power revamped the Byzantine Empire to make it more historical and appropriately unusual, and also added mechanics for dethroned nobles to wander the world seeking fortune in various non-land-owning ways. This DLC absolutely whips, just so many cool mechanics to interact with. Is it still in need of polish and balancing? Yeah, Byzantium is perhaps too powerful if it doesn't get crusaded early, and landless nobility are often weirdly strong if played properly, but overall: cool. I've done multiple campaigns as a wandering noble, including one where I was a mercenary hired by a Byzantine duke to help them in their wars, got some land off of it, managed to take over their holdings, survived the fall of Byzantium to a crusade, lost it all in subsequent Byzantine civil war after the Empire was reformed, and then the family returned to mercenary work in Italy... which I managed to levy into getting a descendant to become King of Spain. Coooooooooool stuff.

Wandering Nobles is... weird? It specifically just adds some more events (always good) tied to travel, and added some new lifestyles tied into that. It's weird having lifestyles outside of the skill pentagram but hey, if Stellaris can get do it so can CK3.

My main hope for CK3 at this point is that they'll get a Custodian team like Stellaris that enables them to continue to polish and better integrate old content, since they seem to be doing a great job on Stellaris (which I've taken a break from this year.)

9. Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader - 2023 - Steam - ★★★★

Yep, another Warhammer game. Been one of those years.

Rogue Trader could have been even higher up this list. There's a lot about this game that I really love. It's kind of the best example of the Warhammer setting in a video game, managing to capture the totality of how really shitty the setting. It gets across just how shitty life in the Imperium is, the casual cruelty of life. It gives you the option to try to be a Nice Guy, but also explicitly points out that this is not really looked upon well and can outright lead to your death depending on how things play out. The plot is kind of whatever, but it has some great set pieces and fun characters.

Gameplay-wise, it's a bit uneven in terms of difficulty- kind of easy in the back half even at the higher difficulties (like I said in the Mechanicus review: it turns out, knowing how to game an action economy helps a lot!) Some characters just are stupid busted throughout if you use them correctly (cough Cassia cough), and the way the RPG mechanics work you're almost never facing a non-100% skill check.

Owlcat isn't the biggest studio, and the game in general lacks a certain degree of polish that must to stem from their team-size and budget. The non-cutscenes where you essentially read a summary of what the cutscenes would have shown are... odd, if ultimately tolerable. But frankly, I'm still tempted to lower this in the overall ranking because the amount of weird gamebreaking bugs I encountered even playing it an entire year after initial release is absolutely infuriating. There's certain mechanics that have a tendency to just shit the bed, causing quests to just not trigger which can combine with points of no-return to lock you out of content. That kind of thing drives me absolutely nuts.

Also, because I want to complain about it and hey why not: the load times are maddening. Traveling between planets requires something around 5 different loads, more if you trigger one of the RNG events that require your intervention, and they're just too damn long. It adds unnecessary tedium to what is already a long game. And hey, guess what is the mechanic that tends to shit the bed? That's right: quest starts that trigger only when you travel between systems! Great!!!

It's only the core quality of the game as a 40K experience that keeps it where it is in-spite of all that. Congratulations?

8. Indiana Jones and the Great Circle - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

Man, I am in two minds on this game. MachineGames is a fantastic studio and I really enjoy the tone of their writing. This is probably the best Indiana Jones has been in... 30 years? But something about this as a game just isn't fully clicking. The big selling point is that you are getting the experience of being Indiana Jones, which... sure?

The gameplay is serviceable; the first-person brawling is okay, if pretty bland. Since a lot of the game revolves around that: okay, not great. The exploration stuff is cool, and the puzzles are... well, they're video game puzzles. This is no Return of the Obra Dinn. But the experience of doing the puzzles is fun!

Honestly, the best part of the game may just be as a looking-around-and-looking-at-stuff simulator. You put loving crafted artifacts and news paper articles and books around and I'm going to stop and look at them and go "huh, neat!" Spent a not insubstantial part of the second-part of the prologue just looking at random museum pieces while ominous spooky man chanted in Latin a room away.

I guess to the answer the question of "Does this feel like Indiana Jones?" my answer would be "Perhaps too much." It does a great job of capturing the feel of the movies, the setting, and the feel of Indiana Jones action, but it doesn't bring much of anything new to the table. The game is best when its more evocative of the brilliance of MachineGames' Wolfensteins, with its amazing side characters, goofy cutscene shenanigans, and amazing setting-specific set pieces. I wish it'd lean harder into that instead of the films.

Unrelated to that point: It's very funny that Indiana Jones ancillary media has consumed most of the "interesting" historical artifact / archeology tropes, such that this one had to juice the story with five different gimmicks layered on top of each other. Not going to spoil any of it, but we're starting to approach the territory of "Indiana Jones and the Biggest Foot" which frankly I'm here for.

Anyways: Raiders > Last Crusade > Temple > This > Dial > Skull

7. Dragon's Dogma 2 - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★

Dragon's Dogma 2 is... more Dragon's Dogma? Honestly, this is my first time playing Dragon's Dogma myself rather than just watching others play it, and I enjoyed it a fair bit, but it is weird how little seems actually changed from the original?

It's a new world and a new engine, and certainly there's been changes to things like mechanics and quests and NPCs and adding new bosses etc... but so much of the game is the exact same, even retaining the old jank I've heard people complain about for a decade now. It's incredibly fun and even funny at times, but I think it could have used some more time in the oven, some more polish, maybe just more resources for the team to add to the experience. Also: could really do with a couple more enemy types. Things can get pretty repetitive after a point.

The decision to do essentially the same plot again when the "twist" of the original game was so well received is odd. The new elements they layered ontop of it to differentiate from the original only to make the core plot less interesting. The more I think about it, I think I'd prefer they have done something more unique in the vein of OG Dragon's Dogma rather than just completely carrying all the architectual details of the setting over to this release.

A shame that Dragon's Dogma 2 seems like it will never receive its own Dark Arisen.

6. Castlevania Dominus Collection - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

This collection bundles my favorite Castlevania games into a single package. Enuf said.

You should play Order of Ecclesia, it's a great game.

5. Satisfactory - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

I am very aware of my gaming habits: I'm a gorger. If I REALLY enjoy a thing, I shove it into my mouth until either it's gone, or I get sick of it and throw-up. This is why I avoid early access releases as a rule; I know I'll fill myself up on the appetizer and have no room for the meal. From afar, it was obvious that Satisfactory was something I was going to enjoy, and so I waited for the full release...

And hey yeah Satisfactory is an excellent addition to the "technology-tree time-hole" genre. Organizing infrastructure and automating a 3D factory layout that is constrained by geography and resource availability is awesome. There's some open-world exploration and mild combat aspects that are fine mostly as a way to add more technology-tree gating, but the focus really is on constantly tweaking or redesigning factory spaces to better use space and resources to produce widgets to advance progression or build *other* widgets that let you make other bigger things etc etc.

There was multiple times when hanging with friends on Discord where I made the offhand comment of "I should probably eat something..." several times over the course of an 8 hour period, as friends got increasingly exasperated at me time-holing myself ever deeper in factory optimization instead of making a sandwich or something. That's the kind of game Satisfactory is.

4. Balatro - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

Balatro is far better than it has any right to be. Why the hell is a run-based deck-building poker game so good? How does it manage to hold up after over 80 hours?

There's something Tetris-esque about how you engage with Balatro. It's a puzzle game that is zen-like it how it engrosses you. Failure is inevitable, you're just seeing how deep you can go with your luck and deck-building skill.

To voice a mild criticism: the nature of the RNG and the gameplay (cards) makes it hard to "outplay" certain bad rolls on Jokers, particularly early on. Truly good runs are very luck-dependent, and you often have to commit very early to a game plan (e.g., all-in on Flushes) before you know that you're going open the Jokers that make that game plan work. Nature of the beast, but it does lead to me leaning on the secret quick restart (hold R on keyboard) a bit too much as a result.

3. Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

Elden Ring was nearly my Game of the Year in 2022, and Shadow of the Erdtree is a fantastic addition to it. There's amazing new bosses, weapons, and areas. As a Lore Enjoyer, I appreciate the additions made to the overall narrative and setting of Elden Ring, and the music is pretty excellent, a criticism I had with the base game.

That said, it does suffers from similar flaws as well: exploration is kind of weak, with big empty areas dotted with little nuggets of content. There's some bosses that are real stinkers, with tons of health and tedious attack patterns. Frankly, they ramped up this aspect here; it feels like they took the wrong lessons from Malenia. Also, good lord do I hate the Furnace Golems, what an obnoxious enemy.

But the good bosses are some of the best From has ever done, and the little mini-dungeons are far more interesting than anything in the base game. Playing through the DLC was a real treat.

The fact that there's an Elden Ring multiplayer run-based spinoff coming next year is absolutely mental. While that's not necessarily what I'm usually looking for in FromSoft titles, I'm all-in at this point.

2. Caves of Qud - 2024 - Steam - ★★★★★

If you encounter a dreamcrungle in the depths of the Moon Stair, beware their crungling gaze. If you you are crungled, you’ll be subsumed into a dreamscape where you’ll awaken as some other entity, perhaps a bear, maybe even a robot. If you gain sufficient experience in your newfound form, you’ll awake pleasantly enlightened, the dreamcrungle sated. However, if your original body dies as you dream, your temporary oneiric will come to a final tragic end, your mind dissipating into nothingness. A tragic end, but that is itself all too common in salt-blasted land of Qud.

Caves of Qud is the ultimate roguelike, perhaps the ultimate RPG. It is alternatively weird, goofy, and funny. You will die in so many inexplicable ways. But the knowledge you gain from those deaths will make you ready for future adventures, with different characters and paths. My current adventurer is a mutant tinkerer with four arms, each wielding an axe. He’s specialized in the art of multi-weapon fighting, allowing him to use his many arms to slice foes to pieces in a blink of an eye. But I could also be a potent psychic that dominates people, a birdman gunslinger, a birdman swordman, a cyborg knight, and so many more things besides. I could use a spray-a-brain to give life to a chair, then transplant my mind into that chair as my original body dies, continuing my adventure as the chair.

There are thousands of ways to build your character and progress through the world. The dynamic worldgen and mechanics interact in ludicrous ways. Almost everything on Qud is sapient and a member of an overarching faction. Who you befriend— or kill— can have wide-ranging and sometimes absurd repercussions. For awhile there I was persona non-grata with turtles, which made traveling through desert canyons an interesting challenge. But I can always rest easy knowing I’m beloved by dogs, welcome in their holy places.

For all the “wacky” aspects of the generated world, the setting and non-generated writing of Caves of Qud itself is quite excellent. The nature of Qud, a place both seemingly post-apocalyptic and futuristic, is one I leave you to discover. Live and drink, friends.

Also, as a weird side note: I’ve been playing exclusively on controller and it works exceptionally well? That seems like it shouldn’t be the case given its general aesthetic, but here we are.

1. Robot Alchemic Drive - 2002 - PlayStation 2 - ★★★★★

OK, look: I realize how fucking bonkers it is that Robot Alchemic Drive, a game from 2002 you have either never heard of or never thought about for longer than five seconds is my 2024 game of the year. Here’s the thing: RAD fucking rules.

RAD is best described as super robot QWOP. You control a giant super robot using an unusual set of controls where each joystick is mapped to the mecha’s arms, and the motion of the stick controls how the punches are thrown. The shoulder buttons give you manual control of each of the robot’s feet, stepping forward and backwards. Additional buttons and inputs enable special attacks like missiles, rocket punches, diving super kicks, etc. It’s a really bizarre system that makes up for half of the game’s difficulty.

The other half is because you’re not piloting the super robot. You instead control an additional character in the world who is operating it from afar, like Tetsujin 28 or Giant Robo. This puts the player character in the middle of the danger, forcing you to position yourself so you can actually see what you’re fighting while also keeping yourself as best you can out of danger. Sometimes the building you’re standing on gets knocked down under you. Sometimes you accidentally blast an alien robot so that it falls on top of you. You can sit on your robot’s (a “Meganoid”) shoulder, giving you the best possibly vantage of the robot you’re trying to control, but that also puts you at risk of getting punched off it and sent flying for three blocks.

So you’re awkwardly controlling a giant robot to fight other giant robots while you can barely see and the city is getting blown up around you, often by your own arsenal as you attempt to defend it. This is a problem, as you need to try to minimize damage to the city to ensure you get money to upgrade your Meganoid. Being careless also puts Nanao’s current place of work at risk, and nobody wants that.

Oh Nanao. A not-insubstantial amount of the game revolves around your childhood friend, Nanao, who is in the depths of poverty and working like 5 jobs. Her grandma, home, and workplaces keep getting destroyed, which doesn't help. Nanao, while nice, is the dumbest child alive who must be protected at all costs. A non-substantial part of the game is built around trying to protect Nanao’s workplaces, “accidentally” destroying businesses that threaten her livelihood, etc. On the flip side, if you are for some ungodly reason anti-Nanao (???), if you destroy Nanao’s workplaces consistently throughout the entire game Nanao will take her own life. This is an insane mechanic, but given the easy emotional attachment to Nanao: it certainly raises the stakes!

RAD’s writing is deliberately cheesy as hell, and it’s paired with a dub that is absolutely spectacular in how corny it is. They hired a company that exclusively made corporate instructional videos, zero audio direction was given, and boy does it show. It is one of the funniest games I’ve ever played, the writing and the voice acting together are just so unbelievably stupid. God I love it.

It is crazy that people don’t know or talk about RAD. The developer, Sandlot, exclusively makes Earth Defense Force titles now, with RAD all but forgotten. Part of the reason, I have to imagine, is that it didn’t run great on actual PS2 hardware— but emulated it runs like an absolute dream.

Is it a perfect game? Absolutely not. But it is by far the game that made me smile the most this year. An absolutely unique gaming experience unlike any other.  Someone should port this to modern technology, put out PC or something, get it in front of more people because holy shit.

[cafeleningrad]

The shadow presence of adults an family in Utena

Currently I try to clear up some convoluted ideas about childhood innocence to agency through social indoctrination depicted in Utena.

Obviously the most present indoctrination happens by Akio's hands, and his extension the form of the panoptic, omnipresent, ever-acting system of Ohtori academy. But I did catch myself by the mistake to assume every child/teenage character in Utena is solely influenced by Akio. In fact sometimes adults do appear sparsely throughout the show, and it's always relevant. Like the guidance counselor as signal for the reinforcement of social rules, or Tokiko contrasting Akio. The characters enter the school already with knowledge of fairy tale structure (Wakaba's mother telling her tales of the Onion prince), Miki disdains his sister on sexist premises way before he's manipulated into dueling, Nanami already used violence on others to secure Touga's attention before she entered school. It can be argued that the world outside the school ground, the city we see in the background is an extension of Ohotori too. Thinking then how parents already primed their children already when they arrive at Ohtori, and how important the death of Utena's parents is to her, I do think the families of the characters are much more relevant to than the visual narrative of obscuring their faces lets on. ...or: I found a niche, and now I have wild theories. (This is definitely a very speculative post, my mind went on a slippery slope of theories.) Content warning for discussions and mentions of: Child abuse, death, manipulation, grooming, sexism in general.

I. Why do we barely see the face of so many adults? (If I claim that they're relevant?) First, Utena is, among many other themes, a story about maturing and leaving behind a lot of rules and ideals that hold people back from becoming a person. Most characters are aged from early to late teens. Highly relevant to the themes of Utena, this is a period of self discovery, detachment from previously installed beliefs, and discovering the possibilities of the the world. Although the latter points are halted by Ohotori and Akio. In that way it makes sense that the characters think more about themselves as independent with parents more on the sidelines. Further, only very few characters realize fully that they're part of a cyclical system, and are unknowingly but actively hindered to come to that realization. In that sense, it's not far off that they would blend out elements they themselves not consider relevant. Meaning, they wouldn't realize how formative their previous family life is to them but they get a new, aspirational role model of another adult.

Second, Ohtori as place with it's own logic runs by Akio's narrative. He's the one who chooses important characters, sets up important rituals with Anthy's help, and manipulates them to take on a certain journey - if they want to take it or not. For Akio it is vital that he imposes himself as the most present most visible adult in the life of Ohtori students. (Note: Either himself or Ohtori as systematic extension of his.) He wants to be the aspiration so everyone emulates the rules and behaviors he wants people to emulate. The only other adult with more screentime, clear personality, and visible face is Tokiko who is many ways Akio's counterpart. Although she,sadly, never interacts with any students at Ohtori during her visit. Side note: Akio often avoids being seen the direct instigator of events. Either Ohtori staff, social rules, and social life reinforce his ruling, her he manipulated others so much they act by his playbook. It also leaves his image untarnished. Touga is Akio's proxy on campus. Groomed to imitate Akio, Touga taunts others, especially men to imitate the idealized image of manhood. Close to graduation age, already using a lot of signifiers of grown up masculinity such as promiscuity, using a motocycle (but with a helmet) as approximation to a car, Touga is the entry level to emulation although Akio has the last word on how a person should finally act. II. Other visible adults a) Campus staff The only few adults with a face are campus staff. Namely the guidance counselor, her male colleague, and the music teacher. The former two exist to enforce Campus rules on the students. Either responsibilities for school prestige, or the dresscode. (The music teacher is a bit of an outlier at he's more of a point to Miki's and Kozue's contrast, Miki being allowed innocence whereas Kozue is not receiving any protection, but I would note that he abuses his position of trust for attempts to abuse Miki.) In every case it's save to say that they're all roped into Akio's direction.

b) Chida Tokiko Boy, I love Tokiko. In her short presence she carries the entire weight of the meaning of the Black Rose arc. She's also in juxtaposition to Akio. Also, she pretty. Alright, first who is Tokiko? Tokiko was Chida Mamiya's big sister who lead an entire research project at Ohtori Academy to save her little brother's life. She came in with abstract ideals to simply keep things in a never ending stage (stressed by her disliking to see flowers wilt) which Nemuro rightfully calls out as perpetual motions machine. In spite of her best interests, her project was hijacked and used by Akio to install a duel occasion for 100 male duelists. Her project ended in tragedy. Mamiya died anyway, over his anger Nemuro killed 100 students. Directly or indirectly, Tokiko being roped in with Akio's ideals did lead to high count of human loss, and her ideals failing anyway. Unlike Akio, Tokiko left Ohtori though. She visibly is marked by the events, has regrets, and misses her brother. On the occasion to visit his grave, she does return to Ohtori. However, with all regrets and sadness, Tokiko faced the tragedy and moved on. By seeing Nemuro, now Mikage, Tokiko comes to absolute certainty that eternity means a lack of progress for everyone. Given the fact that Tokiko could face a great deal of loss and tragedy, partly by her responsibility but still decides to leave and not to stay Ohtori, she is very much in contrast to Akio. Akio can't face his loss of ideal and "innocence". In fact he never reflects upon himself but artificially hinders everyone on campus to progress as people. Nemuro even gets punished by having his memories conversed to heterosexual interest towards Tokiko, in order to fit into Ohtori's narrative. Tokiko who has gained maturity, and accepted her loss is the kind of adult Akio should be but can't be because he clings on childish ideas which in practice keep everyone locked in misery. If the students ever interacted with a different example of an adult, they might not find a fancy role model but one which is far wiser than Akio. It's sad that the only alternative to adulthood never gets to interact with any of the students (even though that's kinda the point). The one who would have needed to speak to her the most to deconstruct is self-delusion and accept loss, doesn't recognize her anymore. Side note: Mikage is the student interacting with most adults. In the past it was Tokiko. In the present there're adults around him due to his academic importance, officials who ask for academic support, or his secretary. But notably we never see their faces, only hear their voices. All these faceless adults speak negatively about him, and ignoring the fact that in spite of his intellectual brilliance, and introverted nature, he's still very much a teenager who does have the inner life of a teenager. Considering that Mikage can't move on from his state of teenagehood, I speculate that Mikage doesn't pay attention to the age group, state even?, he can't become. Mikage doesn't even recognize Tokiko anymore. III. Relevant family lives So I mentioned in the introduction how the parents already send their children to school with preconceptions of social rules and dynamic. Some characters like Juri don't mention parents but siblings. I do think they're also relevant in the way the characters are able to understand affection. Families are not the only but still a highly relevant structure within children pick up on life philosophies, social rules, and especially expressions of affection.

a) Utena's dead parents I'd seen some speculations going around who Utena's parents might be but I don't think parentage is relevant. Thematically Utena is about liberation of harmful systems as well as modes of thinking. In Penguindrum, Ikuhara explores how certain families can shape us in much deeper manner. In Utena systematic imprints are much more abstract. That sounds a bit contradictory, so let me rephrase it: It doesn't matter who exactly Utena's parents are, however the fact that they're dead is highly relevant to her. The manga does reference Utena growing up at an aunt but more or less Utena is orphaned at an young age. This leads her to have idealized ideas of family, leaving her with a lack of experience to judge boundaries. By example, Utena might not like Touga but she misreads his acts of heroism, akin to her prince-ideals, as affection of an older brother. Or she's not weirded out by Akio accelerating their relationship from "friend of my little sister" to "you are like family". In general, Utena's lack of familial experience leaves her with a lack of knowledge what different forms of affection look like. Granted, Utena is 14 years old, and not the most senstive person still I noticed how often Utena is unable to formulate her exact feelings towards others. The friendship with Wakaba because in Utena's clear cut mindset girls who are close are friends (as Ohtori doesn't an offer another model how women could be close to each other) even though Wakaba having an earnest crush on Utena isn't unlikely. Apart from the fact that Ohtori is a forcibly hetero normative place, Utena is extremely confused by her feelings for Akio and Touga, but also for Anthy. She's getting manipulated to play act romance with these two men. But she also can't read others very well. At first she doesn't realize the animosity between the Karou twins, she doesn't take Nanami's outright rage towards her seriously until Nanami's duell goes overboard, she misreads the "friendship" between Juri and Shiori. Utena's only guidance in life is the prince ideal. For one it is the closest Utena has a model for agency but also as model for being loved and admired. Utena is entirely on her own to evaluate relationships.

b) The Kaoru divorce The Karou twins are in my eyes an easing introduction in themes of misogynistic treatment, and perversion of male-female dynamics leading to incest, but they're also the youngest in the cast. (Except Tsuwabuki, of course.) First we assume that their estrangement stems from Miki slutshaming Kozue, which is definitely at play but their estranged familial connection has another source. We only learn very late about the Karou parents getting separated, leaving their children behind. Both children are lost, symbolized by building up a birdbox for abandoned bird babies. Their family is falling apart. They need each other more than ever but have so much difficulty communicating with each other. Ohtori as a place reinforces the idea of a girls scoial inferiority, everyhting a girl does is getting evaluated and judged, it drives the wedge between Miki and Kozue even further. However, the twins learnt a gendered perspective by their parents. In the flashback of the the piano recital, Miki's allowed to rest and stay away from the recital. Kozue was unwell, crying, anxious, desperate to not play but her wellbeing is disregarded. During their parents separation the cause is father Kaoru leaving his family for another woman on his own beheast. The twins don't blame their own mother but approach their father differently. Both are angry at the adults in their life, Miki even states that his life is dictated by adults. Kozue absolutely disregards their father's letter. But Miki, praised for his maturity, states way too understanding phrases to his father on the phone. Miki also projects on idolized Anthy on his soon-to-be-stepmother. Who wouldn't leave everything behind for the ideal woman, in Miki's logic? Miki can only be this "mature" (actually, asked to not cause an authority figure any trouble) by trying to rationalize why he shouldn't be angry at his father.

c) Juri's nameless sister Even later than the Kaoru twin's family situation, we learn only in the final episode about Juri having a sister. In Juri's story, the sister almost drowned but a boy tries to save her, only to drown himself. For all heroism, Juri forgot his name. Later in Adolescence we learn that Juri was actually the one drowning, and Touga drowned for her sake. That might leave the existence of Juri's sister in a speculative realm. If we were to take it seriously, I would have some theories what the existence of a sister would mean to Juri. A sister is a very close relative. In this proximity Touga's death would still be close enough to Juri's experience but not close enough to herself. It's highly speculative if this falsification of memory is artificially altered by Akio to have Touga walking around not be suspicious, or, which I consider more likely, it's Juri's response to distance herself from the guilt for Touga's death. It wasn't her fault he died but she was the motivation behind his passing. Forgetting his name, having another person between herself and Touga could distance Juri from the tragedy. With Utena I noted, how Utena with the lack of any previous close conenction is unable to recognize, even less so name the nature of relationships she has. If Juri's sister exist that would mean that Juri is familiar with a close relationship to another woman which is not her mother. In that sense, she would know how a familial closeness feels like, and not name it by the next best thing. Therefore, she's able, unlike Utena, to recognize exactly that her affection for Shiori is of romantic nature. d) Does Saionji have a family? The text mentions nothing of that sort, everything else would be pure speculation. From Saionji's memories his biggest issue in childhood was the growing distance to Touga, and the worries about the little girl in the coffin (oh boy, did Ohtori lead you down the wrong path...) otherwise nothing else of note. For one reason or another, Saionji can't go anywhere after getting expelled. Why he can't return to a home is up for speculation. His parents kicked him out? He's too ashamed? He has no parents? Any guess is as good as mine. But considering that Saionji mentions no formative character in his life, no parents no siblings, I am led to believe that the lack of reference is for Saionji, like Utena a cause for him to have trouble to keep his distance from proximity being baited to him. Since his only relationship in his past seems to have been Touga, the only reference of connection is friendship. What once might have been healthy is an idea Touga taunts and uses against Saionji.

e) Did you hear about the Kiryuu's? Oh boy, this house is a nest of snakes. It's only in Adolescence we get a full picture of all the abuse that went down in this household but the impressions we get in the show are already horrific enough.

We learn that Touga and Nanami, related by blood siblings, got adopted into the family. Nanami is too young to remember, however that feeling that subconcious knowledge of not fititng right in seems to linger in the back of Nanami's mind: Nanami is in constant fear of ostracization, she projects all that of performing to peak social performance, by looks, by reinforcing social status by putting up schemes to sabotage others or literally beat others into submission, dressing in praised brand fashion, and making very clear that she's in no way like that shunned weirdo Anthy. She could never be that weird, laying eggs is totally normal, right?! In the instance Nanami does remember her parents, she remembers being shamed for being inadequate, especially by being genuinely herself gifting a kitten to Touga. She's also constantly alone, except for Touga. In an environment where Nanami is demanded to always correspond to the norm, facing scrutiny, letting her grow up isolated, it makes a lot of sense why Nanami would attach herself to the only person showing her kindness, her older brother. Nanami's only model of reference to to and being loved is a sibling dynamic, hence her fixation on Touga. It also means, Nanami wouldn't know any other model of affection except for this one, actually. Paired with her constant need to be the heart of the masses to proove total adaptation, Nanami can't let anyone get close to her because of her singular outstanding status, and she wouldn't also know how. Any concern of Utena about her, Tsuwabuki expressing in child-typical honesty that he wants to be close to her, are either met with anger or used for her own gain (something she probably picked up from Touga, too).

Touga's place in the family is the most brutal. He was sold by his birth parents for the explicit purpose to be abused. The fact that we do see see the adoptive's father's face in Adolescence leads me to theorize about Touga having a too clear, unshakable memory from his childhood trauma. (Sidenote: Hair in relation to emotional state is sometimes brought up with characters, long flowing hair standing for a person being free of restraint. In memories about Touga by people who idealize him, namely other boys like Miki, Tsuwabuki, and especially homeboy Saionji, touga has long hair. But Nanami who has less cheerful childhood memories remembers her brother with short hair. In his own memories Touga remembers himself having shoulder length hair because his adoptive father demanded him growing longer hair. Nanami and Touga's way less idealized recollections are much closer to the truth.) Touga's childhood was entirely shattered, and severed so many genuine bonds of those who loved him. It's very difficult to not not feel sympathy for Touga even at his worst sabotaging his relationships because at a very young age, what should've been the safest relationship, a caring family, has been utterly destroyed for him. To say, him being disillusioned and distrusting of proclamations of honesty is comprehensible. (Since this post branched off on thoughts I had on gaining agency within a indoctrinating system, Tougs acting fully concious whereas also blind towards his motivations is a point I can't help talking about again and again.) Touga is a very central figure in luring in other students into the idea of princehood, while also getting lost in it, so understanding why he adheres to a system that promises power of everyone else is highly relevant understanding why the system is so successful at perpetuating itself in it's own confines.

In conclusion: For both siblings, their parents were a big source of trauma. If not the formative trauma to prime the kids ideally for Ohtori's pathway into doom. Nanami is so afraid of being other-ed that she would do anything to be part of the crowd. On the flipside by fully adapting to it she's deeply afraid to question conventions, highlighted by the Cowbell of Happiness. Touga is so scared and angry for having been used, he would always try to control others so none can control him, he sees no way out of his misery.

f) Throwawaylines in the Himemiya household - non-relevant observation Probably not too relevant to the actual dynamic between Anthy and Akio, but there's this one line Anthy drops and never picks up again. it does drive me slightly insane. Anthy mentions that Akio does remind her of their father. Nothing conclusive of their obscure family life but I have speculated before how Dios died for an ideal externally imposed on him. This is not a relevant point at all, it's not even a point. But I wanted to bring that up because having no better reference for an alternative way would explain a lot with Anthy and Akio.

g) The Ohtori family So far we did have two terrible fathers, why not go with a terrible mother then? Alright, in the case of the Kiryuus', the mother is implied to be part of Nanami's trauma, Kanae's engagement is arranged by both parents. Only Mrs. Ohotori is the only present parent in the sense we see a vague figure, and a cut-off face. For a supposefdly prestigeous school the family supposedly run, it's also clear how under their name, terrible social practice part of the life at the school. They themselves arrange a marriage for their daughter right after their graduation. And Mrs. Ohtori sleep's with her daughter's fiancée. I feel inclined to not protect Mrs. Ohtori to get involved with Akio. Akio chooses his victims to be in many ways weaker than him. He chooses underage girls, namely neither Anthy not Utena have a family or any other social safety net. And Kanae's parents obviously wholeheartedly agree of her engagement with Akio, so Kanae can't voice doubts. (Or she's told to project on Anthy instead...) Further, Akio adopts his fiancée's last name as an indicator that marrying Kanae is him rising in social status, not her. His fancy apartment, the big telescope, all belongs to the Ohtori's. Akio's seduction is only sexual, he can't exploit Mrs. Ohtori on the base of less experience and power like the did to the girls he usually abuses. No big point here but to highlight how corrupted the adults running the central institution are.

Sort of a conclusion: Probably I spend more times and thoughts on this than needed. But I did spend a lot of time thinking about Tokiko and Kaoru twin's motives of leaving childhood and differing personhood by gender, sending me in onto further thoughts how the presence and also the lack of adults in the life of many students is relevant for understanding their motivation. Why would they have certain outlooks on relationships? Some parentages and familial are more nebulous, less relevant than others, too, although for some characters like Touga, the twins, or Utena, the relationship to their families mark the starting point of their journey.

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P5 - Friday (One day to the end of the World) up to "the break up"

So, here we are, more than halfway through the episode yet only just getting to the credits. That really threw me the first time I watched this episode! I do think it’s a very clever way to handle the format of this episode though – you couldn’t exactly break the flow of the historical scenes to make way for the credits, and those scenes definitely don’t belong nestled in amongst the main storyline, particularly as all of those scenes were additional material written specifically for the show (as described by Neil in the introduction to the Script Book – this was do with ensuring consistency for seeing Crowley and Aziraphale in every episode of the season). Despite the fact that the storyline covered in these scenes is newly created, the information we learn from them is crucial to understanding the motives, emotions, and thought processes that the angel and demon show throughout the show, and I genuinely don’t think the rest of the episodes, or our relationship with the two main characters, would have been the same without them.

I also think the crazy-fast montage of scenes that we see immediately following the credits is a great way of bringing us back to the main storyline of the show, picking up right where we left off at the end of episode 2, which in fairness does seem like an awfully long time ago – after all, we’ve just been through a whistle-stop tour of 6000 years of history.

The entire sequence takes 5 seconds and appears to use a different image for every frame of film, which means it consists of approximately 130 different tableaus, in chronological order of their appearance in the season. Some editor had fun doing that I’m sure.

Knowing that I should be looking at any instances of writing whenever it’s used, I paused my rewatch of this episode at the point where we’re shown Aziraphale’s little planning board. Whilst most of it makes perfect sense (a map, notes about Adam’s name, relevant prophecy numbers), there is also a sheet of paper covered in writing that, to me at least is completely ineligible:

If anybody knows what this writing is, or even if it’s just made-up scribblings to look cool, I’d love to know the answer.

The conversation between Adam and Anathema has always struck me as slightly odd. I mean, it’s nice that Adam stops to ask if she’s OK (when she clearly is not), but there doesn’t appear to be any recognition from either party that they actually met just the day before. And forgive me for imposing modern-day suppositions on to work that was written a few decades previously, but a fully grown adult inviting a kid into their house for something to drink just feels creepy to me. We know she’s perfectly fine to be around though so we’ll let it go. What I do like about the conversation is that there’s an echoing of the exchange that Crowley and Aziraphale shared as they were leaving Tadfield Manor (about angels not being occult but ethereal) but this time the labels in contention are “witch” and “occultist”.

ADAM: Are you a witch? ANATHEMA: No, I’m an occultist.

It’s a nice nod to the notion that words have power. Both parties are describing the same idea but choosing what connotations they want to associate with it. And what’s really important to note on that matter is that changing Anathema’s label completely changes Adam’s opinion of her immediately.

Side note: anybody else find the juxtaposition of some manky old thumbscrews right next to a colourful birthday candle to be a beautifully accurate summation for what an oblivious shitshow the Witchfinder’s Army really is?

I find the choice of location for Crowley’s meeting with Shadwell to be an interesting one. The café they meet in proudly declares itself to be the “Best Café in Wandsworth”. Wandsworth is a long way from Crouch End, where we know Shadwell lives, and Mayfair, which is where the book states Crowley’s flat is located. And just so we’re covering some of the other possibilities, it’s nowhere near Soho and Aziraphale hasn’t set up the meeting at the 3rd rendezvous point yet for it to be a precursor location for the meeting on the bandstand. Why Wandsworth?

There are a couple of Easter Eggs in Crowley’s newspaper here, and perhaps one on the TV playing in the background. Let’s start with the newspaper. It’s no surprise that Crowley would be reading the Infernal Times, but who knew that demons would consider a bit of hiking for their holidays:

It’s a bit hard to make out, but I’m pretty sure that the headline reads something about walking trails. And it’s a pretty pathetic sounding front page headline:

In case you can’t read it (again, it difficult to make out), it says “SOUL MUSIC: Catalogue your collection of Souls?”. As a headline it doesn’t make a great deal of sense, but I think this is probably a reference to Crowley’s soul music collection mentioned in the book.

He was very proud of his collection. It had taken him ages to put together. This was real Soul Music. James Brown wasn’t in it.

The last of the headlines I can actually make out is the following:

Again, if you can’t quite make it out, this one describes some latest research that suggests exorcisms are on the rise in Wales. Just who has done the research, and why specifically concentrating on Wales, remains a mystery. Now let’s have a look at that TV in the corner of the room:

This was really tricky to get a clipping of something that made sense but the footage on the screen looks like it’s set in Puritan times. The guy on the right in this image is even wearing a costume reminiscent of Adultery Pulsifer’s clothes in the previous episode, so perhaps this a witchfinder? I couldn’t get anything concrete, but I think it’s probably a little Easter Egg nonetheless.

It’s nice that we have an acknowledgement of Shadwell’s involvement with Crowley going back decades during the conversation where we discover the demon is sponsoring the Witchfinder’s Army. We know, from the 1967 historical scene, that Crowley has been dealing with this dense oaf for 50 years by this point. I suppose in a show where character recognition, or rather the lack of it (see previous scene with Adam and Anathema, or even the use of the same actors to play different characters as we see in season 2) happens regularly, it was probably necessary to script something that explicitly states that these two characters are aware of the “resemblance” that Crowley bears to someone Shadwell knew many years previously.

Moving back to Anathema and Adam now (this episode does fair rattle through the sub-plot development doesn’t it?!). What’s with the whale obsession please? This isn’t the first time we hear about how whales have big brains (Crowley already raised this point when he was very drunk in episode 1), and it won’t be the last. I mean, I’m not denying that they do have huge brains, I just didn’t realise it was a thing that so many people thought about. I wonder if it’s one of those questions you supposedly can ask men about to get an unexpected response, like how often they think about ancient Rome? Regardless, the whale comment is just one of a bunch of foreshadowing Clues in this scene for later on.

They’ve got it all covered – ley lines, nuclear power stations, the Kraken, Atlantis, and Tibet, all mentioned or seen in a very short space of time. There’s even mention of the destruction of the Brazilian rainforests, something Adam tries to resolve in the book.

Up in Heaven, which looks like an incredibly boring place in my opinion, Aziraphale is busy telling his superiors things they’re either not interested in or already know. I don’t know whether Uriel’s line “what’s happening” is a little reference to Jesus Christ Superstar (the song “What’s the Buzz” uses this phrase repeatedly throughout), but if it is it would effectively put Aziraphale in the role of Jesus, with the archangels being disciples. Not exactly fitting with canon, so maybe this is a little Easter Egg. Or maybe it’s nothing at all.

Whilst I was doing this write up, I noticed that Aziraphale is the only one of the angels to be wearing a patterned garment – his trademark tartan. It’s a nice way to subtly distinguish him, or more precisely his relationship with the concept of free will, from the other angels, and whilst we know he has been exercising his own free will for centuries, his addition of a non-standard item of clothing to angelic attire would suggest he is becoming more comfortable with his stance. Looking back through the historical scenes (including the ones from season 2 we are yet to see), I think the tartan first makes it appearance in 1862, but I’m happy to be corrected on that.

It's a good job that the archangels are a somewhat dense bunch because Aziraphale does not do a good job of hiding when he’s hiding something here. He has a tendency to overact when it comes to the discussion around Crowley, and the pause he puts in before his non-committal answer to Gabriel’s questioning is almost painful.

It should be obvious to them that he’s covering something up but luckily they’re totally oblivious and Aziraphale actually manages to buy himself some time. Credit to him here – he went to Heaven with preconceived ideas of how this conversation was going and he not only manages to adapt to the deviation from his expectations, he also considers what this means, how it changes his plans, comes up with a plan for how to achieve his new objective, and executes that plan very convincingly. There’s a lot of talk about how Aziraphale can often be pretty dense at times, but this little scene should tell you that that’s only really true when it comes to Crowley – outside of the blinkers of friendship and love, this is one quick-thinking and intelligent angel.

We’ve had a couple of mentions of Crowley being “fallen” before now in the show, but I think this is the first time we get any clues as to why that might have been. And surprisingly for such an important piece of information, it’s delivered in an almost nonchalant way.

There was war in Heaven, long before the Earth was created. Crowley and the rest were cast out. Not nothing was ever really settled.

We already knew that Crowley wasn’t the only fallen angel (see Hastur’s comments in episode 2) but this is the first mention of him being involved in all-out war against Heaven. Hastur talks about rebelling in the previous episode, so we can only assume that these are two puzzle pieces that fit together. I don’t know whether season 3 will bring us a fuller answer for Crowley’s fall, but I hope so. I feel like it’s a huge part of his history and who he is; as a fan it would be nice to be able to put it all together for an even better understanding of his character.

Gabriel’s comments about the war and Armageddon make for some interesting discussion points. He says that even though the fallen angels were cast out of Heaven, nothing was settled. What exactly were they hoping would be the outcome of that war? If it was the destruction of those who rebelled, why only cast them out? Why not destroy them at that point? And why exactly does Earth have to get tied up in all of this? His parting line about Earth’s destruction offers little to the debate about what Earth’s role is in the whole Heaven/Hell war, only that Heaven is determined to destroy it, regardless.

The Earth isn’t going to just end itself, you know.

Charming. And unfortunately for Aziraphale, his lack of enthusiasm for another war has triggered the suspicion of the archangels – it’s interesting that he was able to cover his intentions through his talk of Crowley and poorly disguised buying for time but what really makes them think he can’t be trusted is that he clearly isn’t fully on their side when it comes to war.

There is a line in the book about anybody who meets Aziraphale believing him to be “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”. I can see how this might have been a little difficult to get into a TV show, but I think the double entendre delivered by the following exchange probably serves as a suitable alternative:

AZIRAPHALE: Do you have any men free? I need them to poke about a bit. SHADWELL: Poke, eh? And where exactly do you want them poking?

And if it wasn’t clear what Shadwell’s thoughts on Aziraphale were, calling him a “great southern pansy can probably fill in the blanks for you.

Remember what I was saying about Aziraphale not being dense earlier? Well this is one of those moments when he proves the exact opposite. He genuinely appears to believe all the stories Shadwell has fed him about the soldiers of the Witchfinder’s Army. I suspect he simply can’t bear to think that somebody would lie to him for financial gain, something which Crowley appeared to be fully conscious of when he dismissed Shadwell’s presentation of the ledger in the café earlier on. Whatever the angel’s reasons for this gullibility, we as the audience can now see that both of our hero pair are not only funding the Witchfinder Army (for the paltry combined sum of £500 per year according to the Script Book) but making use of their services, and hiding the organisation from the other for fear of reprimand. How very Shakespearian.

There are a few little things I’d like to show appreciation for in the Famine scene. First off, and I did have to look this up, but the word “sable” can be defined as “black”. So Famine’s chosen name consists of 2 words that describe black. Given that one of War’s alternative names is Red (or Carmine, which means crimson, as well as her chosen surname of Zingiber, which is another name for ginger – a word you might use to describe a red-headed person), this is hardly surprising. Next up. I love how beautiful the plate of non-existent food in the fine dining restaurant is. I have eaten at a Michelin starred restaurant and I can assure you, that isn’t far off the mark at all.

Next little Easter Egg – there’s a picture of the Bentley, albeit in red, on the wall of the burger joint that Famine and his assistant go to:

And how many times have we heard/read terms and conditions that sound very similar (scratch that, there are some phrases that are word-for-word perfect) to the ones for Chow for any/all new health product that comes to market with the sole purpose of making money out of gullible/vulnerable people. Neil really nailed the wording and delivery in the script there. Elvis’s presence in the restaurant is a cute bit of humour too, and halfway makes up for one of the lines in the script that didn’t make it to the final cut but made me guffaw like a loon – it’s Death’s response to a question about the year of Elvis’s death from the quiz machine:

I DON’T CARE WHAT IT SAYS. I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HIM.

Lastly, I’d like to think there’s another instance of script mirroring in the use of the word Chow here. Cast your mind back, all the way to episode 1…

LIGUR: Wassat mean, “Ciao”? HASTUR: It’s Italian. It means “food”.

Except to anyone actually eating Sable’s prized invention Chow isn’t food at all, but eating it might result in you having to say “goodbye” to a lot of things like “hair. And skin tone. And, if you ate enough of it long enough, vital signs.” Beautiful word play.

Side note for the next scene: the Witchfinder Manual actually has a price on the cover (I can’t quite make out what it is, but it’s “old” money), which means at some point that sack of crap was actually sold to people.

One last tiny note: Crowley tells Aziraphale to meet him at the 3rd alternative rendezvous. Not the 3rd rendezvous or the alternative rendezvous. And Aziraphale can’t remember which location it maps to, though he can list off three possibilities, much to Crowley’s annoyance. I’d quite like to know how many formally named rendezvous locations they have, and why they think that referring to them in “code” prevents their respective superiors from knowing they’re meeting in the first place.

I am going to call it on this part of the write up at this point. I had intended for this part to be the last one for this episode, but I’m already at nearly 3000 words and I haven’t covered the “break-up” scene yet. I think I’m partly just putting off the inevitable by not including it here because I find the last scene of this episode very difficult to watch. Nevertheless, I hope you’ll forgive me. I’d hope I can give that scene the attention it deserves if I split it out into its own write up. So for now… comments, questions, discussion, all welcome, as always.

[millenari]

This is what I meant in my last post abt this version of Macavity trying very hard to be simultaneously more and less provocative btw.

It’s kind of fascinating-- there's a big chunk of Cats that does little to no storytelling beyond 'check out this cool character who’s part of the Jellicle club' and yet Macavity is one of the few songs that’s actually trying to tell the audience something vital to the plot: Demeter knows Macavity.

It's important that the audience learns this-- not only that there is a story between those two, but also what that story is. If Cats doesn't establish that connection, then it'll just look like Macavity is snatching up random ensemble cats during his and Munk's fight. This song establishes the connection between Dem and Mac, and gives the audience a big fat reason why Mac is targeting her specifically: their relationship was sexual. You cannot escape from the fact that their relationship was sexual in 98 Macavity.

And this gives Mac a motive! It characterizes him as a villain, it establishes why he's even interrupting the Ball in the first place, it establishes why he targets Demeter, & it establishes why Demeter specifically seems terrified of him. Without the context this song provides, Demeter might as well just be a random ensemble cat who gets the responsibility of yelling 'Macavity' for each scare.

See: Macavity and Demeter had a sexual (maybe romantic) relationship > Macavity wants to get Demeter back > Macavity interrupts the Ball and takes Deuteronomy (and attempts to take her along the way) > Misto has to bring back Deuteronomy. This song sets up a big chunk of what Cats' plot/conflict is.

But tswifts bomba/dem Frankenstein (Demetaylurina if u will) is very obviously not in a relationship with Macavity; she works for him. He's her boss. She's not even a Jellicle, there's no reason we need the relationship between these two cats to be explained to the audience. The stage play certainly doesn’t bother establishing the relationship between Macavity and the 2-3 henchcats that help him kidnap Deut!

Their relationship doesn't matter, Demetaylurina herself doesn't really matter either, all she does is drug the cats (which is its own weird thing, plot-wise) and she only does like 2% of that job, most of it is M&R and the rigged moon prop.

And then you can say 'well she doesn’t matter to the plot but her relationship with Macavity can still be explored, not everything has to be plot-relevant’ which is true, there are big chunks of Cats that’s pretty much just exploration of non-plot-relevant cats' relationships. But the song doesn't explore their relationship. Because their relationship in the movie pretty clearly isn't sexual, and yet Demetaylurina still acts and sings in this provocative manner that (tries to) mirror the stage version. Like I said in the other post, the choreo that slings it in the audience's face that Demeter (and Bomba) had a sexual relationship with Macavity is gone, so their relationship is comparatively pretty sexless. But there's still this sexuality to the song that tswift just tries to jam in there with her voice and sort-of dancing that serves absolutely no storytelling purpose.

All of the sexuality in regular Macavity is very pointed-- both Bomba and Demeter have this sexual tension between themselves & Macavity, which is impressive bc he’s not even present. That 'there’s no one like Macavity' line where Demeter smacks a hand on her inner hip is an excellent example-- and it loses all of its oomph in tswifts version.

By all definitions, if they wanted to rework Bomba/Dem to being Macavity's henchcat instead of his former lover, then the song should've reflected that-- make it a menacing jazzy song like the original M&R!

But they don’t do that. The song is still sexual, or at least it tries to be: instead of the very potent, very pointed sexual aspect between these two characters in the stage play, you get Demetaylurina just kind of putting off sexiness into the world with no target and no goal, it’s just. there. It doesn't have any storytelling aspect to it and frankly it feels like the bargain version of most Demeters and Bombas-- and that's not even a dig at tswift, because again Dem and Bomba actresses are working with this actual story, dynamic, and history that they're given to act out to the audience as vividly as they can. Meanwhile tswift is just. Being sexy. Her character has no background, no meaning, no dynamics with other characters, no history. She’s just there. Being passively sexy.

Except it’s not passive because you can tell she’s trying very hard to come off that way.

It's just… odd and janky.

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #5 | 08.31.23

August is OVER and that means a brand-new Lost in Devlog!!! 💜 We are very excited for September to begin because that will definitely mark a new era of Lost in Limbo's production as the whole team will be finally free of the shackles of the spanish education system!

This devlog contains mainly progress in the programming and writing department (yours truly in charge), but we have also made some progress in the art department.

In addition, we will use this devlog to discuss a few changes and decisions we have taken in regards to the course of the demo—so feel free to grab a drink and join us for the ride!

First and foremost...A glimpse of our main menu! 🎉💜 I have been working hard this month to implement the UI as we finally got the files, and I've also animated and programmed the main menu screen, the configuration screen, save/load, etc. The dialogue box and everything else is also implemented and working perfectly, and of course we have a custom cursor thanks to miss Raquel! 🎉

Needless to say, LiL is my first coding adventure, so I'm sure our code isn't perfect or in optimal condition, but hopefully our Kickstarter will allow us to hire a programmer to fix that. I think I've done a pretty good job considering my lack of experience!

Also, special thanks (again) to our dearly beloved @crescencestudio for bearing with me and graciously lending a hand when I struggled the most. They are officially my ren'py mentor and I'd like to take a moment to illustrate our my struggle to y'all with a simple screenshot:

(Also it's kind of funny we both have animal crossing pics in our discord accounts, that was ✨ a coincidence ✨)

<<Inside the holy judgement chamber of the Silver Spire, may your words carry only truth, lest punishment is what you seek.>>

This month our dear Raquel has been working on backgrounds when she's had a moment, and this is one of the pieces she has been rendering and polishing! We'll also take a look at another background (a really important one) to bring it up to our new standards. As I said in another devlog, the master degree we were (and still are, until the 15th) attending has changed our way of seeing and approaching art pieces, so we are looking into improving pieces that are still in the making!

First of all; we are super proud and happy to welcome a new member to the team of Ravenstar Games: Allie! They'll be our editor and proofreader, and I'm sure you know and love some projects she's been on, like Blooming Panic! or our recent and beloved Intertwine. They are a fantastic fantastic writer, an incredible person and a passionate dev that I've had the pleasure to know and work with for a while now, and I would trust no one else with the script of our baby! (and if you are a writer, you know how hard it is to let others read your stuff sometimes. It's like baring your soul to them; it could only be Allie for me!) So please give them a big warm welcome!!

For the writing department, some devlogs ago we talked about the script suffering some changes—well, they have officially solidified now!

We have cut some content that was not exactly relevant for the first experience we want y'all to have with the game. A lot of context and exposition that helps, but is not absolutely necessary to enjoy what is perhaps the most important thing for an indie team and their game; the first demo and the impression it leaves behind. That content has not been scraped and we have decided to save it for an extended demo; the first demo will still be as long as it was in the beginning, as a lot of new content has also been added to prioritize the LIs, which is what you are here for.

We also made this decision because we were once more faced with the reality of: there's only four of us and it's not realistic to do seven LIs + six supporting characters + their expression charts + 13 backgrounds + everything else for a first demo. We are learning as we go, for better or worse, and sometimes you have to sit back and say "right. this is not going to work" so we had to do that. Sadly, we were not realistic with what we wanted to do, but hey, we all get too excited and dream too big sometimes!

This changes will ensure you get the best first experience with LiL without losing important, meaningful content, and hopefully be excited for what will come later. In my humble opinion, the demo script is now in much better shape than it was a month ago. Trust. And just wait for Allie to edit it—that's going to bring it to perfection.

Oh! We'll also be modifying the Masterpost soon as some things are a bit outdated and can be improved, so expect to see some new stuff in there!

It's 1 am here right now as I write this. I'm in bed. Today has been a day. Tomorrow I'll take a look at this and correct a million typos. See? Another reason we need Allie with us. There's screenshots to take, videos to make, and everything is slowly coming together. We are in really good spirits, motivated and hopeful for the near future. This has been long enough as it is, so as always, thank you for being part of Lost in Limbo's journey, and for the love and kindness you give us again and again. We hope you all are doing great, staying hydrated, and taking care of yourself 💜 See you very very soon!!

[lej222]

People don’t like Jisu because Aslfua spends a great portion of the story of CheMiae slowly building their relationship from the ground up again and slowly getting to the romance part. I guess people find it annoying since for the past few weeks the plot really hasn’t been moving at all and it seems like we’re going 1 step forward and 2 steps back 🤔 and it seems to be an idea in the fandom that he’s just being used to push CheolMiae together and it is kinda true imo.

From your posts you seem like a Jisu fan and probably ship him with her (correct me if I’m wrong) so to you seeing a character you like being prominently featured these last episodes is a treat to you. Jinseop is mine so I like it when he’s in the episodes. I don’t have much of an opinion on Jisu I’ll probably think of him differently once the story ends.

Some people are harsh on him I’ll say that but imo I just think it’s best to wait it out and see how things play out. Also some people being rude because of a difference in opinion is weird. Hope you don’t receive too many rude anons !!

I can understand where you're coming from, even if I personally see it differently. For me, the first part of the series was about Miae and Cheol becoming friends by Cheol learning how to open up to people. And it also included many subplots about other characters learning about themselves and choosing to get out of their comfort zone, like Johan, Jinseop or Song-I. When the actual romantic development started, it was when Jisu was introduced. So I didn't think he had no place in the narrative because he was foreshadowed way before that. I've seen people claiming how they wanted a similar dynamic between Jisu and Cheol as in Cheese in the Trap's mls, but I don't believe they are comparable. In citt, Jung was the intersection of all the subplots - he had a personal connection in the past with Inho and his mystery was what started the story in the present for Seol. In aslfua we have Miae as the center, and her memories with Jisu and Cheol drive the story forward. And just like in citt, her memories were limited at the start. She didn't remember Cheol, but as she gradually regained her childhood memories through dreams and coincidences, she was able to make a connection with him in the present. Jisu's pov is even more limited because Miae's memories about him are still incomplete. In this series, foreshadowing plays an important role. Even Miae and Cheol's childhood interactions gained meaning in future chapters, or the same goes for little details like the eraser pieces under Miae's window, the running gag about Miae's haircuts that led her to Jisu's mom, the constant ominous stormy weather that appears when Miae and Cheol's relationship is changing significantly, etc. The fact that Miae has no idea about Jisu's prior appearances in the story is definitely no coincidence, either.

Let me get something clear - I'm not a shipper. I don't even like this word btw. Me choosing to write about Jisu as a potential love interest was based on my observations about the story. I've repeatedly emphasized that I have no way to know the ending of the story and the intention of the author. I'm writing about possibilities and details in the narrative that might be relevant in the future. That being said, I love Jisu as a character and I do believe Soonkki has done a great job with creating a limited perspective-narration. It's definitely not easy to do because if an author drops too many hints, the suspense gets easily broken. But if there's not enough small detail, the plot progression becomes messy. Soonkki gave enough hints about Jisu for us to guess about his character and most of these predictions became true, like him being the number1 student, Miae's childhood classmate, etc. In this series, I don't have a character I dislike so much that could make me uninterested in their personal development. I also understand this might not be the case for people who are very serious about Cheol and Miae ending up together. It's been a long time since I was 14 so I cannot help but talk about these characters as kids and that's why I wouldn't be shaken if they didn't end up together, just to make this clear. These episodes, while might feel repetitive, have already established key problems in Miae's way of thinking and her relationship with Cheol. While Jisu is not the kindest person in the story, his remarks are not too far from the truth. Miae truly has to have a talk with her friends and Cheol about what she even wants, because I'm not sure she knows it. She expects Cheol to take care of her problems, but right now he cannot do that for her. Cheol shouldn't openly be angry at Miae for being friends with Jisu because she did nothing wrong. Jisu should be more mindful of his words and actions. All of them are wrong in different things, but Jisu is important in Miae's growth story. Miae was called out by the narrative when she wanted to interrupt the confession, she even felt ashamed when she talked to that girl face-to-face. Which makes me believe Cheol's behaviour will also be addressed otherwise we would have very weird double-standards in the story.

I agree with you that everybody should wait to see where the story is going instead of harassing other people. I'm seriously tired of rude asks when all I do is write on my blog about possiblities that might not even come true. It seriously led me to only read the latest episodes out of obligation, even if there were many interesting things in the latest one on Naver. Thank you, I hope as well!

[letteredlettered]

would you be ok with a comment along the lines of, "i don't even like [character/pairing/trope] but your writing is so good, i really love this fic"? to me that's one of the highest compliments i can give, but i've seen some authors and artists call it off-putting and a backhanded compliment, so i figured id ask you first

I am not often moved to comment, because I am Like That (and that's okay!!!), but I most often feel moved to comment if someone makes me like something I didn't think I would like. In fact, in general, the media that moves me most is often media that changes my mind in some way. And when I am moved in that way, I tell the creator the way they moved me because I agree with you, it's a high compliment.

So, the comment you describe is very nice and I would certainly welcome it.

However. I have definitely seen some folks call it off-putting, and frankly, I find this very understandable. A comment in the vein of the comment you outlined can go in a few ways:

This fic was so good that it made me like [character/pairing/trope], even though I usually hate [it/them]

I like this fic, even though I usually hate [character/pairing/trope]

I like this fic, but I hate [character/pairing/trope]

I would like this fic, but I hate [character/pairing/trope].

I don't like this fic because I hate [character/pairing/trope].

I hope that you can see there's a progression here.

I love comments like 1) and 2)--they're saying "I have a personal feeling, but I'm mentioning it to demonstrate your fic is great!".

I think 4) and 5) are mean, hopefully for obvious reasons. People can say it; I posted my fic in a public place, but I don't have to like it.

For me, 3) walks a line. It doesn't seem to be sharing a personal feeling to demonstrate affection for the fic. It's just sharing a personal feeling. And again, if one is posting a fic in a public place, one has to be prepared for people to say whatever they want in response.

That said, I would write fanfic even if I didn't plan to share it. (I wrote fanfic well before I knew it was a thing; they were just little stories I wrote for myself and never thought to share). I'm not saying I don't care about the response--in fact, quite the opposite. I may write for me, but the reason I post it is because I think other people might care about things I care about, engage with things that are meaningful to me, and enjoy something I've done.

If I've written a character, ship, or trope, it's probably because I enjoy that character, ship, or trope, and want to share that enjoyment with others. A person can tell me they don't enjoy those things. People can tell me anything they want! But it's not why I shared the thing I made; it's not what I'm looking for or hoping for; it's also not very relevant to me. I won't like it and I won't welcome it.

I will add that I have gotten enough comments in the vein of 4) and even 5) that 3) sometimes feels like you're basically saying 4), and sometimes 2) even feels like it starts bleeding into 3). This happens a lot in life: when you have a lot of the same kind of conversation, when a new person comes in and tries to have a slightly different conversation, it feels like it must be part of the same old conversation that you've already been having. It happens way more often on the internet. Because you can't see faces, people don't look or feel like new people, so they might as well be the last person that left that shitty comment.

This bleed-over is unfortunate, but it's also why the actual semantics of the comment feel really important. In the end, I try to be careful to respond to what people actually say, but honestly receiving comments can be a raw business. It's nice when people say nice things! But sometimes people dump on you. Posting a fic is opening yourself up and being vulnerable, which is why imo if you want to comment it's worth it to take a moment to think about how the comment will be received. So, thank you for being so thoughtful, and thank you for your ask.