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I really wish non-disabled folks would stop commenting on weather or not something is good disability rep, especially when people with those disabilities are critiquing the specific things these folks are bringing up as examples of why the character is so good.

I swear, if I hear one more person say "I didn't even realise Neve was an amputee, that's such good representation!" I'm going to scream lol.

Also just to clarify, I don't think Neve is bad, my feelings on her from a disability representation stance are more complicated, but her disability having such a small impact on her that a shocking number of players said they didnt even notice it until she tells you how she lost her leg is NOT what makes her good. "You cant even tell she's disabled" is not a flex. We've talked about this. Twice.

Same goes for the inquisitor and Hezencost but they're pretty minor characters so I'm seeing less of it there.

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If you're using Mocap to animate an amputee character, you need an amputee actor!

I know there is a lot of debate about disabled actors playing disabled characters, but with amputees, even in mocap, it does visibly and negatively impact the performance if you don't get an amputee to do that roll - unless you're going to majorly adjust the animations later, but that would require so much additional work that it kind of defeats the point of using mocap at all. Amputation (and limb differences in general), weather a prosthetic is present or not, changes how you move and how fast (stumps and limbs with prosthetics often move faster due to less weight), the poses you can do (abled actors often physically can't always do the same poses because the limb their character lacks is in the way) everything. It will even impact how other parts of the body will be posed (e.g. lots of leg amputees have altered spinal curves, which will effect things in the upper body, because of slight changes to their center of gravity and the pressure applied from prosthetics. The higher up the amputation, the more limbs missing and the longer the character has been without them, the more noticeable this will be)

I'm glad that we're starting to see more amputee representation in games, truely, but you can't just slap motion capture data from a non-disabled people onto a disabled character and expect it to look right, especially when it comes to disabilities like amputation, where a massive chunk of weight is gone or altered. It's exceptionally noticeable.

I've worked in 3D animation and games. I understand crunch, and I understand sometimes it's a technical issue or limitation, especially in older games, but I also know how much work goes into this stuff, how much love and care these folks put into it to get things looking right. Even mocap cleanup is a lot of work, and a lot of skill is still need it to get it looking right in-game. I've seen first-hand the almost obsessive attention to detail some animators have - so why is this the thing that gets consistently overlooked?

A lot of this also applies to live action where a charcater's missing limb or prosthetic is just added in post too...

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Dragon age, specifically inquistion, has been my go-to comfort game for me for the last decade or so, and it feels kind of ironic in a bitter sweet way, that one of my worst health declines in my adult life came right when veilguard released, so ive had a lot of time to play it lately lol. I finished veilguard today and while I do have some criticism, most of it is pretty minor and I honestly really enjoyed it. It was a pretty good way to end to the series, all-in-all. Also I absolutely adore Taash!

I want to eventually talk about some of the disability stuff in the game, because I think there's some interesting things that warrent discussion, but I'm going to hold off on that until the transphobes and biggots get board of yelling about the optional top surgery scars in cc and the mirror "conversation", or until my body decides to stop being such an asshole to me, whichever comes first 😂

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Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

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I got to the bit that the Dragon age devs were asking people not to talk about in pre-release reviews and omg, my little queer heart 😭

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You should, I desperately want that mug 😂

I want to release a line of concerning disability pride merch, starting with my patented “you say bedridden, I say pillow-princess” sticker and ending with a “lost a limb, gained a club” mug

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Almost there!

ID: a photo of the Dragon Age the Veilguard loading screen /end ID

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More nomad practice, this time I decided to model cynder! I wanted to try posing and working with asymmetry this time (though it ended up not being super visible in the main render).

Originally, I was going to do a full-body sculpt, but it crashed on me and I forgot to save (or turn on autosaving) and lost it all, so I decided to just stick with another bust sculpt after that lol

[ID 1: A 3d sculpt of Cynder, a black dragoness with a reddish-pink underbelly and 6 white horns that curl back and slightly upwards. She is looking down at the viewer, and is lit with a green light from below. The background is a gradient fading from dark blue to green /End ID 1] [ID 2: An animated gif showing a rotating turntable of the Cynder model. /End ID 2]

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Reblog if you’re over 20 and still read/write fan fiction.

I’m curious!

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I downloaded Nomad sculpt and decided to test it out by sculpting my chonky boi, Nix, and considering how out of practice i am, i really like how xe turned out!

[ID 1: A 3d bust sculpt of Nix, a smiling, fat purple dragon with a yellow underbelly. They have dark purple spots, some of which partially cover their eye, and darker purple horns, with gold jewellery in the form of an eyebrow piercing, small hooped ear rings, a hooped nose ring and a golden cuff around their right horn. In this image, you see them from the left side. /end ID 1]

[ID 2: Another render, this time showing nix from the front. /End ID 2]

[ID 3: An animated gif showing a turntable of Nix's bust. /End ID 3]

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Everytime I see footage from Spyro Dawn of the Dragon, I wish so desperately that someone would remake/remaster it. Honestly, I'd love a remake/remaster of the whole legend of spyro series because I have a soft spot for them, but I'd also settle for just Dawn of the Dragon because how was it that ugly? I mean I know how, both from a development and technical stance, but I thought it was fun to play (if a little broken lol) but that bloom and "realistic" art style makes it so hard to go back to 😂.

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I assume this is an autism thing, but why is it so hard for people to understand pain is not the biggest problem for me when medical issues come up, sensation and sensory overwhelm is.

Possibly tmi but im at the point where i dont really care anymore lol, right now I'm dealing with a really bad, chronic uti that just will not go away, no matter what anyone does, and this thing has been making my life a living hell for the last month or so. It's not painful, or well, it is, but that's not the most unpleasant effect I need help with. It's the sensations it brings. The tactile sensation of being incontinent, of feeling like I'm busting 24/7 - so much so it's stopping me from being able to sleep most nights - the fact that both these things are so ever-present that I can't concentrate on anything else. I can't do the things I enjoy like writing and drawing because my brain can not filter it out enough to focus, and it's my body, so I can't escape it like I could with an unpleasant sound or smell.

But everyone I've spoken to about it is under the impression that the pain is what needs managing, the pain is whats causing me to be so upset and not be able to concentrate or sleep, even when i say, point-blank, thats not the case. My doctor, the emergency staff who first diagnosed it (i was instructed to go there due to concerns about my kidneys), my mum and dad, my sister, even my partner, initially, though he understands now. But I've told every single one of these people that it's not pain, it's the sensory overload thats causing the problems, and they just... don't get it. Ive tried being as blunt as I can (and considering i have no energy to mask, ive been very blunt), and it just, doesn't seem to compute with anyone. My doctor is trying to help, but his only solution is pain meds until the antibiotics runs their course, which don't help because it's not pain (and yes, i tried it anyway). The emergency doctors did the same. My mum and dad keep suggesting pain management skills they were taught when I was a kid, mum is also suggesting things that make things like the burning part of UTIs less painful, my sister doesn't really have any advice but she keeps asking me about my pain too when she checks in. I appreciate the attempts and all

But it's not pain.

The only one who did get it right away was my psychologist, but she's not the kind of doctor that can really help with this, outside of giving me suggestions for coping mechanisms and how to redirect stimming/meltdowns to be less destructive or harmful. Which is great and I did need that, but I'd really like to not be having the meltdowns in the first place.

This isn't the first time this has been an issue either, but it has been the worst/longest time. I just don't know how to get it across to people that the pain is not my main problem. I know how to manage pain and make it less intense/more bearable (my whole lower body is covered in skin grafts and I've had several amputations, I have a lot of experience with it), but just because it's not pain doesn't mean its not debilitating and seriously impacting my quality of life. And because it just won't go away (i highly suspect it has become antibiotic resistant), I have no idea when this will all end, which makes it all the more worse.

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Ive been trying to design a tattoo for my mum but it's been a slow process lol. She wanted a dragon with some lion-ey traits, since she was born in the year of the dragon, and has the leo star sign.

This has been her favorite version so far, but it's a bit too detailed for the size/placement she wants. However, all the elements she liked about it are the elements that the tattoo artist said we'd need to adjust, so redesign attempts haven't been going well so far 😂

I did a few variations on the colour of this version as well, and while I quite like the orange, she's really fond of the blue version, so I'm going to do some more iterations later to see if I can get that to work (input/suggestions welcome!!)

[ID 1: a digital illustration done in a cell-shaded style of a blue dragon with teal wings, the constellation of Leo visible among other stars on the wing membrane. It has an orange-brown mane and a tuft of fur at the end of its tail. Behind it is a diamond filled a blue night sky. /end ID 1] [ID 2: the same dragon as the previous image, but this time with orange scales and a dark brown mane. /end ID 2]

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I've seen my new GP twice now, and omg I didn't realise how bad things were with my previous one until now. Like I knew it was bad, but having someone who actually listens and cares to contrast to makes the shitty treatment stand out so much more. Some of the highlights:

My memory isn't great, so my partner wrote out a full report of what had been happening with a list of symptoms and a timeline of the most recent events, as well as printed versions of whatever tests results we could get before we arrived. Id summerised it at the top because every doctor id been to never reads what i give them, even when its from other doctors, but he read all of it, and asked clarifying questions as he did to make sure we were on the same page.

He actually read what little bits of my medical history had access to (while I've never seen this doctor before, I attended this clinic as a child, which was when most of the stuff associated with my primary disability was happening, so he could see that) and agreed that there is almost certainly something chronic going on that he will gladly investigate once the immediate issue is dealt with.

The fact I was autistic came up at some point, and I explained that I'm not formally diagnosed. My current psychologist and one other has done all the testing they can and they were both very confident I am autistic, but we can't get the formal diagnosis without a review from a neuropsyc because of something in my history, and I don't have the money to do that. My autistic traits are in my medical files but they're incorrectly attributed to something else. He was incredibly understanding of that and told me not to stress about the diagnosis (unless i want to, in which case he said hed support me from his end if he can) and asked if I could get something from my psychologist to explain how this might effect my treatment (not noticing symptoms, not being able to articulate problems consistently etc) so he knows what additional support I might need in the clinic.

He admitted to not knowing things, and told me how he was going to go about fixing that gap in his knowledge before my next appointment. For example, He admitted to never having a trans patient before, but that he's going to do some research on his own time to learn what he needs to do to be a better Dr for me.

He asked me to get some scans from a previous hospital stay, and picked up that I was hesitant. mum was with me and explained my auditory processing issues and how it makes communicating via phone hard. he told me not to stress and said he can get the receptionist to do it with my concent.

A lot of these aren't big things, but they make the world of difference when you have a complex medical history and its so refreshing just to feel heard after all this

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Guess who's gp ignored a literal text-book presentation of a UTI, insisting it was something else without any tests or even an exam to back that up, until it developed into a kidney infection that sent me to the emergency at 4am!

Even the emergency staff were horrified. It's bad enough that this was ignored in anyone, but to ignore clear signs of a serious infection in someone who's had 2 amputations from a blood infection, another from a bone infection, who has it in their file that they're at higher risk of kidney complications, and who was only a month ago, on a medication that also messes with the kidneys - percribed by that same doctor - is ridiculous.

Everything's on track to getting sorted now, and the emergency staff (doctors and nurses) were amazing. It was a much needed reminder that there are still good healthcare professionals around.

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