#agere meltdown

[natsuki-bakery]

⁎˚ ఎ Sendou Shuuto Agere ໒ ˚⁎

Ahh! The blue lock agere was so cute!! Could I ask for little sendou Shuuto hcs? Maybe about meltdowns? /nf take your time !!

Regression Triggers :

•High-pressure moments, such as being ridiculed for his skills or feeling overshadowed by stronger players

•Exhaustion from intense training and games often sends him into a regressed state when he’s alone

•Loud arguments or teasing from more dominant players (like Barou) might overwhelm him

•Subtle kindness, like Isagi helping with drills or passing advice, can also trigger his regression by making him feel safe

Regression behavior :

•Tends to regress to a younger mindset, around 4-6 years old, craving comfort and reassurance

•Loves to color or doodle on scrap paper, often with stick figures of himself "winning" against Barou or others

•Finds a lot of comfort in his stuffed animals, which he sneaks into his luggage during Blue Lock camps

•Occasionally carries a small trinket (like a keychain or charm) to fiddle with during stressful times

Meltdowns during Regression :

Causes :

•Overwhelming drills or failures, If he feels like he’s not improving fast enough or if he makes an embarrassing mistake during practice

•Ridicule from teammates : He’s particularly sensitive to loud, direct criticisms. If Barou yells at him or another player calls him useless, it can cause him to spiral

•Physical exhaustion : Lack of sleep or overexertion makes him more prone to emotional outbursts

Signs of a Meltdown :

•Starts shaking or crying silently, trying to suppress his emotions in front of others

•Becomes nonverbal, avoiding eye contact, or physically hides (like curling up in a corner of the locker room)

•Might rip up paper or aggressively erase his drawings when he’s frustrated

How It’s Handled :

•Isagi: The most empathetic and patient, likely sitting near Sendou quietly until he calms down. Might offer a bottle of water or casually start talking about something unrelated to distract him

•Chigiri: Offers advice on not letting others’ words get to him, sharing his own experiences of feeling inadequate during recovery

•Kunigami: Gives him a pep talk and encourages him to keep fighting. His steady presence helps Sendou feel more grounded

•Barou: Initially scoffs but might grudgingly mutter that "crying won’t fix anything" which weirdly motivates Sendou to snap out of it

•After a meltdown, Sendou enjoys quiet, solitary activities like sketching or playing with a plush toy

•If someone like Isagi checks in later, it helps him bounce back quicker because he knows he’s not being judged

•Uses journaling or motivational phrases to reaffirm his goals and remind himself why he’s in Blue Lock

•He has a habit of doodling a soccer ball with cute faces or writing mini "team comics" when regressed, which sometimes helps him lighten up the tense sport environment

•During regression, he secretly cheers for his teammates, even those who intimidate him—viewing them as "cool big brothers and sisters"

If you're in the basic criteria , are DSMP fans, vivziep0p fans , h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl blogs, nsfw/k!nk blogs, anti-agere blogs, or anti Christians/Christianity blogs : just dont interact !

[dragon-queen21]

Something something regressor Aether having a melt down and Kaeya having to pick up the pieces and comfort the boy to the best of his abilities.

[pahtoosh]

too much

[image ID: a gif of Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan sitting next to each other and cocking their heads to the side. made by tumblr user weird-mumbling. /.end ID]

masterlist

18+

wc: ~6700 words (my longest one yet!)

warnings: slight angst. baby is overstimulated and has a meltdown. steve calls you sweetheart. bucky calls you babydoll. written on my phone.

a/n: i honestly had a really bad night. i was so overwhelmed and tired. it was five am and i couldn’t sleep bc it was so hot, so i started writing this. it was incredibly therapeutic for me and i hope it helps some of you too🤍

pairing: daddy!stucky x gn!little!reader (Dada = Steve, Baba = Bucky, Daddies = both Steve and Bucky)

summary: you’ve been holding in your stress for far too long. tonight’s party pushes you past your tipping point.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Tony was throwing a party to celebrate the team’s latest successful mission. Being the man that he is, he didn’t exactly need an excuse to throw a party, but he’d been on an “extravaganza cleanse” as he liked to call it. His last bash was nearly three months ago, so he’d surely be going all-out with this latest one. A couple weeks ago, the idea of a party excited you.

But these last few days have been terrible.

You kept running into problems left and right. Some of them weren’t a big deal on their own, but all together and combined with the stress of a party and the possibility of having to meet new people—maybe lots of new people—you’d had enough.

It was the day of the party. You’d been a little quiet all morning and afternoon, trying to conserve your energy. Steve and Bucky asked you if there was anything you needed to talk about, but you couldn’t find the words so you just shook your head.

They shared a worried look out of your glance while you continued forcefully stabbing fruits onto your fork from your afternoon snack.

It was now an hour before the party and your daddies decided to tidy up the place before leaving so your little family could come back to a clean home. Normally, you’d be alongside them cleaning too but they let you stay in your room because you were having a rough day.

The noises from cleaning brought you to your breaking point. As your mind raced, the sounds of the vacuum cleaner and Steve’s record player taunted you. It was as if you were being pulled in all directions with no end in sight.

A more focused baby might have put on their noise canceling headphones, but you were too overwhelmed to do anything more than lie in bed, eyes closed, with your palms pressed to your ears. You missed the sound of the vacuum cleaner turning off and your door opening. A gentle tap on your foot had you startled.

Eyes now wide open, you stared at Bucky with your hands still covering your ears. He took note of your distress and tried speaking as gently as possible.

“Hey, babydoll. Was the vacuum cleaner too loud for you?”

You nodded.

“Aw, Baba’s sorry about that. Dada and I are getting ready for the party now, do you wanna join us? Everyone’s so excited to see you.”

You were conflicted. On one hand, you really really didn’t want to even leave your bed right now. On the other, your daddies had been looking forward to this party and you didn’t want to disappoint them.

As you stared at Bucky, ears still covered and brow now furrowed, Steve walked in holding one of your new t-shirts on a hanger.

“I got someone’s new lucky dino shirt,” he said in a sing-song voice. He halted at the doorway, sensing the tension. The extra set of eyes on you and reminder that the party was happening now was the last straw.

You lost it. You burst into tears, flipping over and sobbing into your pillow. You pressed your hands even harder against your ears and kicked your feet on the bed.

“TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH!” you wailed.

You yelled until you couldn’t anymore. Your bed shook from the force of your movements.

Steve and Bucky watched, heartbroken as sobs racked your body. Steve set down the shirt and stood next to Bucky who was still sitting at the foot of the bed. They held each other’s hand, unsure of what to do at the moment. Normally, they’d be calming you down with a hug or a pat on the back but it seemed like touching you right now would only add to your overstimulation.

It was only minutes before your meltdown came to a stop, but it felt like you’d been screaming forever. Your cries died down, leaving you hiccuping into your pillow.

“Sweetheart?” Steve called out. “You don’t have to go to the party, it’s okay. We’ll all stay home tonight.”

You shook your head, still facing the pillow.

“No? You wanna go to the party?”

You shook your head again. “Daddies go. I stay.” Your words were muffled by the pillow but the punctual nature of your speech and your daddies’ super hearing allowed them to hear the message.

“Babydoll, we can’t leave you here alone,” Bucky started.

You kicked your legs again. “Go! Go go go!”

Bucky took a breath. He didn’t want to upset you anymore, but you were crossing boundaries. “Hey, that’s no way to talk to your Baba. You can’t stay home alone, you know this. Now, please be the big kid we know you are and tell us what’s wrong.”

You sniffled. Baba was right. You couldn’t stop or control the meltdown, but it was time to make things right now that you’d calmed down slightly. You flipped over slowly, hands now only partially covering your ears.

“S-sorry Baba. Sorry Dada,” you hiccuped. “I don’ wanna go. Is too much.” A tear rolled down your cheek and Steve instinctively wiped it away. You didn’t flinch: you were on the come down.

“We forgive you, baby. Now, we can’t let you stay home by yourself but how about a compromise? You can stay in your room and close the door. Baba and I will be in our room, quiet as a mouse,” Steve offered.

“You can take all the alone time you need. And if you need anything you can come to me and Dada or write us a note,” Bucky continued.

You gave the idea some thought. Some quiet alone time would’ve been helpful an hour or two ago. Now, you were tired and just wanted some love from your daddies. A little quiet together time sounded nicer than quiet alone time.

You shook your head. “Don’ wanna be alone nanymore. Can we watch cartoons? Just us and calm? And we cuddle?”

Your daddies cooed. “Of course, sweetheart. Do you wanna come here and give your daddies a hug?”

You nodded and got up to crawl to them. The three of you were squeezed onto your little bed, but you’d never been so comfortable. The pressure from your daddies’ strong arms and the group hug were very calming.

“May we kiss you, babydoll?”

“Yes. One at a time please.”

“Such a respectful baby we have,” Steve said, kissing your forehead.

Bucky agreed and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

The three of you migrated to the living room and you picked Arthur as the show for tonight. Steve prepared a plate with some of your safe foods in case you wanted a little snack before dinner. Bucky sat on the couch next to you, leaving you some space but you snuggled into his side, wanting the weight of his arm and the slight chill of the vibranium to help ground you.

Steve walked to the living room from the kitchen and set the plate down on the coffee table in front of you. “Am I allowed to join this cuddle session?” he asked.

You made grabby hands toward him, directing him to your left side. Your Dada placed his arm on the back of the couch so he could be closer to his two favorite people. He let you play with his other hand, twiddling around with his fingers while you watched the show.

Today might’ve had a rough start, but you ended up right where you belong.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!

[thechthonicherbalist]

Woke up to a meltdown from another memory nightmare today. About social situations where scary, wrong things happened that I can't fully comprehend and process. 🥲 That's probably the most "autistic with PTSD" kind of nightmare you can get and this year was full of them. Felt unable to verbalize the nightmare. Tried to make a post about it here for the past few hours, in which I don't overexplain the painful details of what and why... did it anyways, saved like 6 drafts of things I would never post publicly even though they're true af... ended up crying in another meltdown from the overwhelm of realization and inability to self-express. Self-soothing hour, rocking back and forth and curling up, holding on to my plushies for dear life and dissociating.

Now it's 10:30 am on a Monday. Time for work. And that's still a better start to my day than 90% of days this year. 😂😭

[rta-user-2025]

Agere!Varian AU - Autistic meltdown

Alchemy Boi triggered his autistic meltdown, today. Now bring Ruddiger as a calm animal to Varian or put a weighted blanket and vest and let Varian do physical exercises and meditation and buy "chewy" tops for pencils and pens while offering him an "Escape hatch" and provide sensory toys for Varian.

[lillprincessworld]

Mama: Today was a stressful day, my love, do you want to lie down and have your bottle of milk?

I'm about to have a meltdown:...yes...

[lil-angel-vaggie]

*screeches and pulls at hair aggressively* No, No, No, No!! Stop!!

(Unrelated to the post with the ask)

[baby-mushy]

angry baby

[flipaclip Animation practice :3]

[banes-favourite]

I'm imagining the bear stuffed animal you mentioned Enver having in a response to one of the asks is probably really raggedy and worn looking because of him bringing it everywhere when regressed. Maybe it has had to be patched up and repaired multiple times. Maybe one of the ears or limbs is notably more worn than the rest of it due to him chewing or mouthing at it when he's regressed to a baby or toddler

Imagining Durge stitching Bear back together after Enver came to them with tears in his eyes because of a tear. Enver's just learning over to watch the entire time because he wants to make sure Bear is okay

(Maybe at some point Durge even learns how to make blankets and stuffed animals for Enver as a bit of a hobby when they don't have other things to do. Like that one animation where Durge is knitting a scarf but instead they're making a custom blanket or stuffed animal for Enver)

PLS i don't even have anything to add to this, it's perfect already 😭

[theenemyod]

Tbh I have no clue how to mask autism. Like it's not an "I need to unmask" it's i physically can't and have no clue how to mask. I wear ear defenders and sunglasses all the time and have obvious reactions to things that give me sensory issues. I scream when I have a meltdown. I openly stim. I openly act like a small child (I age regress because of my autism). I don't try to hide stim or fidget toys. I go on about my special interest all the time and don't realise I could be annoying until I'm done. I hate the reactions I get from people but I don't know how to mask and I don't think I want to. I don't want to mask I want to be accepted without having to mask.

[agerefandomrambles]

hiii ik I’ve already sent in some requests for hbh agere so I hope you don’t mind me sending another — could you write a fic about little!quinni & little!spider being taken care of by caregiver!cash & caregiver!harper? or any of those characters paired up if four characters is too much <3

ofc no pressure, ik you’ve got a bit to work on already!

Title: Crayon

Word count: 958

Little! Quinni + Spider

Cg! Cash + Harper

Warnings: impure regression, sensory overload

Plot: When Spider regresses during SLT'S, it sets off a domino effect

The SLT's slowly filter in after recess. Ms Obae is standing at the front of the class with a set of pencils, pens and paints in front of her.

The class slowly sits down and she takes the role before starting the class.

"OK everyone. We're going to try some art therapy today. I want you to pick which ever medium speaks to you and tell me a story though your art."

Spider borderline stomps to the front of the class and grabs the first jar he sees.

"Miss! Spiders gone with mental illness gray" Missy teases, grabbing a jar for herself and walking back to her seat.

Spider just sticks his tounge out at her and stomps back to his seat, muttering under his breath. He grumpily sits down next to Harper, still muttering.

Meanwhile, Quinni is sinking further into her seat. She glances around the room, taking note of all her possible escape routes.

"Hey" Cash says, gently nudging her. "You good?"

Quinni just nods and starts to draw on the paper. Cash gives her another concerned glance before giving the class a quick once over.

He does a double take when he sees spider scribbling on his piece of paper and silent tears streaming down his cheek.

Cash elbows Harper rather harshly to get her attention, not wanting to scare Quinni.

"Ow! What?" Harper hisses, rubbing her side where Cash elbowed her. She goes very quiet, with a small, "oh" when she's sees the tears slowly dripping off of spiders face.

"Spider? Hun?" Harper asks softly before placing a hand on his shoulder, trying not to spook him.

As she gets closer, she can hear what he's been muttering under his breath. "This is so cringe. Why are we even doing this?"

"Oi. Cut it out." Harper says sternly. It's mostly to tell him off but it's also to test his mental age and to assess whether or not he's regressed.

"Why are we doing this?" Spider says louder, meeting her eyes in a very clear challenge. His eyes flicker over to quinni and his expression softens for a moment when she covers her ears at his noise. But then he glances over at Darren and it's like a fires been lit in his chest.

"Why is this a more valid way of expressing my emotions then just telling you that this class sucks? How is this crayon going to fix it? How is this crayon going to fix me?" He's standing now, facing the class as he rants.

His voice breaks into a sob on the last word and he raises his hand to his face, alarmed when it comes back wet. When did he start crying?

Harper doesn't even say anything to him, she just stands up and drags him out of the class by his shirt.

It's only once their out of SLT's and she's sat him down in an empty classroom that she turns to look at him. He flinches, expecting yelling and hitting and anger.

She surprises him instead by kneeling down at his level and just holding eye contact. Her face tells him that she's not impressed and he physically feels his heart break in two at the thought of disappointing her.

"What's going on Spec?" Harper asks gently, still holding eye contact.

He goes to talk but all that comes out is a garbled sob. He stammers as he tries to find a way to express the complicated mix of anger, hurt, upset and overwhelm that's swirling around inside him.

Oh. He's regressed. That's why he lashed out and why everything was too much all of a sudden.

"Too loud. Lights too bright. Dusty gone. Ant hurt" he stammers, breaking eye contact to look at the floor, tears still flowing freely down his cheek. "I'm sorry" he says, barely above a whisper.

"Hey. Spider. Can you look at me for a sec?" Harper says, gently lifting his chin to meet his gaze. "You never ever have to apologise for being small. You're allowed to be overwhelmed but you are not allowed to take that out on other people. Especially Ms Obea"

Spider just nods and drops his gaze again. "I don't feel as little as normal. I kinda feel like a pre-teen? If that makes sense? Like I feel all stompy and grumpy" He says after a moment of figuring out how to articulate what he is feeling.

"Oh, that's all good. Tell you what? How about we meet up with Quinni and Cash and we go back to the apartment and we play some video games?" Harper offers, making sure to lower her voice to a more appropriate level.

In the room directly next to them, Quinni was happily telling Cash all about the different types of ducks and what makes them different.

Quinni was on the verge of a meltdown but Cash, knowing Quinni and her regression, pulled her out of the class and into an empty classroom not long after spider and Harper left.

They did some deep breaths, then Cash pulled out a colouring book from his backpack and they decided to colour together until the period was over, then they'd go back to the apartment.

A ping on Cash's phone grabs his attention and he glances down at it. It's a text from Harper reading "Spiders middle regressed. Going to apartment. Wanna grab others and come and turn it into a gathero?"

He quickly texts her back "Quinnis regressed too. I reckon we just bring the two and chill there. Less chance of meltdowns."

Harper texts him a thumbs up and both caregivers quickly gather up the gear spread on the floor before getting in their respective cars and driving to the apartment.

[thebabyradiodemon]

Hmph! It no faiw! Am wanna gwo zoo buw Yucky Ducky busy? NO FAIW NO FAIW NO FAIW!!!

*He falls on his back and starts to kick his feet*

W̵̨̨̛̻̖͍͠Ą̴̡̧̧̢͎̳̱͚̮͖̳̟̟͍́͛̉̈́́̂́̌̀̀̕͝͝Â̶͍̟̺͔͖̰̞͈͗̐̌̆͋Ǎ̵̤̱̓̃̅́͊̈́Ā̵̢̧̡̠̤͚̥̞͙̪̬̞̜̐͒̈̽̐̕Ä̷̰̞̗̭̹̖̒̏͐͑́̄̿͋̓̏͜͜Ạ̵̢̧̫͕̻̮̣̥̈̈̀͊̋́͠ͅA̴͙͕̬̗̞̼͓̮̘͖͎̜̥̓A̴̛̬͇̰̣̮͎̦͈͖̾̓̀̏̈́̿̈́̂͆̽̈́̃̓̊Ḁ̶͉̗͇̗̜̭̐A̵͇͙̩͗̂̂́̏̉Ą̵̡̱̙͓̻̰͔̹̪̩̂̏͛͂̿͒̌̇̈́͝Ą̸͚̦͓̪̜̤̗͔͍͕͚̤̗̒́̀͋͛̈́̿̈̂̂ͅA̵̡̡̡̖̗̠̪̹̜̋̓͂̄̈́͐̈́͘͝A̴̞̻̯̰͛̏̊̈͋̇͆̇͑͒̈́̏Ȧ̶̭͔̝̞̳͇̣̤͚̳̥̰̗̈̍͜Ȃ̷̧̝̦̪̬̯̭͈͚̫͉͎̺̼͗̅͊̉͒͒̈̋̐̕̚̚͝͝Ă̷̢̼̙̗̠͍̩͕̮̩͈̫̺͖̑̔H̸͚̞̲͖̙̩̼̽̄̀̈́͂͊̉Ḧ̸̛͍́̏̾̍͛̋̎̂̈͒͊͗̚͝H̶̢̢̿̔̄͠H̵̨͚͎̬̠͖͉̙͇̀͜H̸̺̝̭̪̘͖͖̍̃́͆̄̕͠!̷̰̫̘͍͇̣̲̘̈́̉͛͂̉͝!̸̭̣̭͓̈́̂̎̋́!̴̹̤̹̠̜̥̝͎̀̌

[pikaychuwu]

i did a brave.. will i have a meltdown? anything is possible 🥹

[softandsparkly]

Felt really embarrassed today - big me had a meltdown at work and had to leave the office for a bit. Hasn't happened in sooooo so long but I'm glad my boss is understanding. Luckily it wasn't a screaming + crying one but it's made me want to regress more at home to try and relax ☹️

I really want a kind cg but I'm scared at my big age that other people will judge me harshly. I struggle with this kind of vulnerability quite a bit 💔

[babyminty]

Cg Akaza/Little Douma

Please note, in this oneshot, there is a bit of swearing, Akaza is really mean to Douma for most of this, but he is kinder towards the end, and there is also a timeout and a meltdown contained in this oneshot. Please tell me if there are any more warnings I should add.

Douma was so glad that the Upermoon meeting was over. He had been trying not to be small the whole time, but now he was free to be small and hang out with his caregiver, Akaza, or that is what Douma thought. Instead, when he approached Akaza, he got ignored. Douma tried multiple times to get Akaza's attention, only to be ignored.

Douma huffed. "Kaza!" He whined as he continuously poked Akaza in the back. "What?!" Akaza snapped, whirling around to glare at Douma. "I, uh, nothing!" Douma said quickly, not knowing how Akaza would react if he told him that he was regressed. Would he get mad at Douma for wasting his time with this? Douma didn't know, so he didn't mention it.

"If you have nothing to tell me, then don't bother me." Akaza growled at Douma before storming away to who knows where. Douma stood there for a few seconds, bottom lip wobbling. As he finally fully processed what had happened, he ran off to his room before the tears could spill, but as soon as he got to his room and closed the door, tears started to fall down his cheeks.

"Akaza's an asshole." Douma muttered to himself, wiping the tears away harshly, causing his eyes to sting slightly. Douma sat down, curling into himself, biting down on his finger harshly, making it bleed. It healed in a couple of seconds, and he did it again, repeating the process for a while, losing track of time.

He was brought back to reality when he heard his door creaking open. He moved so that now his eyes were just visible above his arms so that he could glare at whoever had entered the room. Seeing that it was Akaza, his eyes widened, and he hid again, ducking his head below his arms. "Douma?" Akaza called, uncertainly evident in his voice.

"What?!" Douma snapped, sitting up properly as he glared at Akaza. "Jeez, what's wrong with you?" Akaza said, not thinking before he spoke. "What the fuck do you think, Akaza?" Douma hissed. Akaza was taken aback. "Don't talk to me like that." Akaza warned.

"Why not?" Douma asked sarcastically. "Because I don't want you to, and I also know that you are regressed." Akaza answered. "What does me being regressed at the moment have anything to do with this?" Douma muttered, crossing his arms and looking away from Akaza, pouting. "You shouldn't be swearing whilst you are little." Akaza replied, matter of factly.

"Sure, shit head." Douma whispered under his breath, but it wasn't quiet enough as Akaza heard him. "That's it. Time out. Get in the corner, now." Akaza told Douma. Douma brought a hand up to his chin, tapping it in faux thought. "Hmm... no." He said.

Akaza stared at Douma for a few seconds before grabbing Douma and dragging him into the corner, dropping him there and turning him around so that all Douma could see was the corner of the room that he was facing. Akaza left the room, leaving Douma there.

Akaza came back after five minutes. "Are you ready to come out and apologize?" He asked. After a minute passed and Douma still hadn't replied, Akaza huffed, walking away again. He once again came back after five minutes to check on Douma, and once again, Douma didn't respond.

Akaza left again, only coming back after ten minutes this time, and Douma still did not respond to him. Akaza was now getting concerned but decided to leave Douma for ten more minutes to cool down, and then hopefully, he would talk to Akaza after being in the corner for thirty minutes in total.

When Akaza returned to the room where Douma was, he saw Douma still sitting silently in the corner. Akaza had a bad feeling, but he brushed it off for the time being. "Douma, you can come out now." Akaza said. Douma just sat there, giving no indication that he had heard Akaza.

Akaza gulped. He wasn't sure what was happening. He was sure that Douma would leave the corner the second that he was given permission, like many of the other littles that Akaza had looked after before, but then again, they also immediately apologized after the first five minutes when Akaza asked them to.

"Douma?" Akaza asked, coming to crouch behind him. Douma still did not reply. "You can come out now." Akaza repeated, taking hold of Douma's shoulder to turn him around.

Douma forcefully shrugged Akaza's hand off, pressing himself further into the corner. This annoyed Akaza, and he lost any concern he had previously had. "Fine, then. Stay in the corner if you want to so much." He snapped at Douma, missing how Douma flinched hard as Akaza had already turned away to walk out of the room and away from Douma once again.

Once Akaza had left, Douma began shaking. He glared at the wall he was facing. "Fuck Akaza." Douma muttered under his breath, over and over. Douma eventually stopped, slumping forward, forehead pressed against the wall.

Douma took a shaking breath in, trying not to let the tears that had been gathering in his eyes fall. His bottom lip wobbled as he felt the tears creating streaks down his face as he heard the door open once again, recognizing Akaza's footsteps entering the room.

This time, Akaza noticed as Douma stiffened up when he heard Akaza come back, and Akaza felt guilty. It was his fault that Douma was now wary of him.

If he had only noticed that Douma was regressed when he had first approached him, this could have all been avoided and Douma could have had a nice time in headspace instead of this, and now he didn't even know how Douma would react if he got closer to him, so instead Akaza went over to the couch that was in the room, taking a seat.

He wasn't going to approach Douma or say anything to him as he had decided to let Douma decide when he was ready to come out, but Akaza also didn't think it was a good idea to just leave Douma in the room alone any more.

Some time passed, and Douma suddenly curled into himself, starting to wail. Startled, Akaza sat bolt upright, wide eyes fixing on Douma. Akaza was quick to act after that. He couldn't just sit there and let this happen, so he got up off the couch and moved over to Douma, crouching down so that he was kind of next to Douma but not quite as Douma pushed himself further into the corner.

Hesitantly, he placed a hand on Douma's back, starting to run it up and down in an attempt to calm Douma. Surprisingly, Douma leaned into the touch, and a while later, with the repetitive soothing motion from Akaza, Douma eventually started to calm down, though he was still shaking slightly.

"Are you okay?" Akaza asked, his voice giving away his concern. "No." Douma said, turning around to face Akaza whilst wiping away his tears. "That's okay." Akaza assured. "M sorry. Was shitty." Douma apologized. "No, you did nothing wrong. I was mean for no reason, I should be the one apologizing." Akaza told Douma, ignoring the swearing.

Douma cocked his head to the side, looking at Akaza in confusion. "Why?" He asked, voice quiet. "Because," Akaza started, "you were upset because of something I had done, and I just made it worse." Akaza explained. "Mhm. Kaza was meanie." Douma agreed. Yeah, I'm sorry." Akaza apologized again. "I don't forgive you, but I can forget for now." Douma said, smiling.

Akaza just stood there for a few seconds before nodding in understanding. "Okay, that's fine. What can I do to make it up to you right now?" Akaza questioned. "Hmm..." Douma thought, tapping his chin with a finger. "Cuddles!" He decided, holding the finger up in the air.

"Okay." Akaza agreed. He led Douma over to the couch, pulling Douma into his arms as they lay down, beginning the cuddle session. "Kaza?" Douma called. "Yes?" Akaza answered. "Don't be shitty again." Douma told him. "I won't." Akaza promised, deciding that it was okay to let Douma swear, as long as he didn't overdo it, and it didn't hurt anyone.

This is the longest thing I have written so far, and it is incredibly self-indulgent. I projected onto Douma the whole time. I wrote this because I think people should become more aware that some littles do swear whilst regressed, and also for people to realize that for some littles, when they are punished, they won't immediately forgive you, and they can be mad with you and hold a grudge. (Me)

[pink-crayon-princess]

look. this is an agedre blog, yeah? I just like doin all this stuff because it's fun! I don't really regress.

... at least i didn't think, until the other night.

(tw: bein' sad, nothin' serious. actually kinda sounds like a fanfic but i swear this is 100% true)

i dunno what happened. I was making my dollie, right? and I curled up her hair? but it was all tangly and knotty and I couldn't brush it anymore ... n idk. I was just really sad. i wanted to make her pretty and then i ruined her.

im not sure why, but for some reason it reminded me of when my friends didn't say goodbye before they left me. it happens a lot, even just a few months ago ... they promise they'll be friends forever and then don't talk to me anymore. it feels like I did something wrong even though I know I didn't. im not good at making friends either (my college friends don't live near me) so im pretty alone ... and im scared that nobody will ever stay. besides baba.

luckily he was there when I started crying. baba and i don't really interact much when im playin', but he helped me stand up and get in bed and cuddled me as soon as he saw. I felt so sad and then i felt so bad for crying, and i kept saying sorry sorry sorry, and he kept asking why i felt sorry, and i didn't know, because i knew he wasn't mad at me, but it felt like he was mad in my tummy.

im good at talking, but then it was really hard to talk, n i kept saying things in my tiny voice and i was so scared ... i felt really ... little. like i was crying as a baby and not me.

(i get the guilty feeling in my tummy for no reason a lot when im big, but it was so so so much worse when i was small)

somehow i told him that i was feelin' really little, and that i didn't like it. baba didn't mind, he just wanted me to feel better, so he gave me lots of kisses and talked to me until i wasn't cryin' as much. he's really good at that. I got my paci and my bluey stuffie out to go to sleep.

I just wonder ... why do I only feel tiny when I'm having a meltdown? I like pretending im tiny, but ... i only feel tiny when im sad. i didn't even know until recently that i don't talk well when i have a meltdown, because i ran away and tried to hide them until i was in college and my friends were there for me.

My only trauma is whatever i incurred from being autistic, but ... I didn't find that out until I was in college, so I bet I have more trauma than I think.

the age range that I usually assign myself stops at age 10, bc after that I don't like thinking about everything that I went through. me and my inner child are best friends, but we're both scared of the inner teen. nobody has had the guts to talk to her yet. we're about 60% certain she has a knife.

maybe i should actually try to regress to the kiddo ages again, but im a little scared of what might happen.

maybe im being silly.

or maybe all the age dreaming is just another way im rationalizing my emotions instead of actually feeling them and i haven't actually done any inner child work at all? am i doing this wrong or something?

idk ... if anyone has thoughts, let me know. :)

g'night <3