#absolute batman is a menace

[wuve-mwah]

“auto bots roll out” and then all the batkids rip from the seems of his thighs

[kuronekoartsblog]

I assure you, you don’t want to get on Robin’s bad side.

Here i am once again with more batman art like I promised 🥳

I really liked this pose, but not gonna lie coloring those f*uck*ss suits revealed to be harder than I thought 🫠

soooo YEAH. I still like it though

[mothemotics]

Tim you have to stop tormenting this poor ex grad student he's not prepared for how cruel a bisexual 13 year old can be

[sisaloofafump]

(Click for better resolution)

Remember how Nightwing was first invented as Clark’s Kryptonian “Batman” disguise (with Jimmy Olsen as the Robin-esque Flamebird)? Imagine if they got to interact like that. Just imagine.

Original comic panels from Superman #158 below (and the drawing variants).

And various background variants bc I am indecisive

[ahfrickenfrick]

tim drake took one look at the ‘tell a trusted adult’ message at like 5 years old and full of child rage, he decided to never tell anyone anything ever

[spooksify]

Batman and his kids

I need more Batfam fics that revolve around the JL having no idea who Batman is and has like zero clue that the bat kids have any relation to Batman. Like they are completely unaware that Nightwing has been doing the whole vigilante thing since he was a kid and that he was originally robin and that he’s actually Batman’s kid and at some point during some sort of mission they finally piece it together and are completely baffled, that Batman, dark and brooding Batman, has a kid (more than one actually) and is a father figure who isn’t actually broody and gruff all the time. It would be even funnier if the JL fully thought Batman didn’t have a secret identity in general, like they just thought he sat around in a cave all day until he was needed on duty. :p

[batbaffle]

daaamn

[kettlefire]

DP x DC where Danny pissed off a sorcerer/wizard/witch with a twist-

Danny doesn't really remember why or how it happens. He vaguely knows he got on someone's nerves, like he always does.

Next thing he knows he's in a dark alleyway, which would be fine if everything didn't look ten times larger than him.

It takes him an embarrassing amount of time combined with an uncomfortable interaction to realize what happened.

He's an otter. A wholehearted sea otter.

Okay, so that means whoever he pissed off has magical abilities. Which would be easy to locate if he was still in Amity.

Except he wasn't. He had no clue where he was, or how he got there, and people keep chasing him?!

He settles in hiding out in a sleek black car, sneaked in while the older man had the door open.

He's not sure if it's a blessing or a curse to still have some of his powers. But it is making being an otter just a little bit easier.

He hadn't expected to fall asleep, or to wake up being carried inside an insanely huge manor.

The old man was surprisingly gentle and sweet to him. He had truly expected to be rushed away with a broom.

Instead he was placed in nice cold bath, as the man contemplated what to do with him. The mentions of a river or a zoo, and Danny was out of there.

He's choosing to ignore the fact he was called small in the same breath.

He did feel bad for running away from the old man, but he didn't have time for possible imprisonment, he needed to find someone. Anyone that can help turn him back.

He didn't mean to accidently phase through the ground in his rush, and find himself in a cave. An actual cave, with way too much high tech equipment.

Neither did he expect to come face to face with a man dressed in black with the shockest look on his face.

Let's just say, Danny was glad this man can take a hint. Standing on the counter of a giant computer while point and chittering and squeak is not the best way to communicate.

But what else was Danny supposed to do? He was just lucky he managed himself into a vigilante's hideout.

[whipbogard]

Anyway

I’m done with BTAA.

Prayer circle for everyone 🥲

[bibatfamdisaster]

Family photo shoot:

What do mean ‘Fancier’. THIS JACKET DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BLOOD ON IT

Tim there is a coffee stain on your shirt. Please go change it.

DAMIAN JERRY THE TURKEY CAMNOT BE IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH

HE IS MORE MY FAMILY THAN DRAKE IS

Dick if you tear your tuxedo on the chandeli-

*Crash*

Cassandra, Damian, you both look wonderful. STEPHANIE DO NOT COME HERE WITH THAT- NO

WE NEED THE WORLD TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY PLEASE AT LEAST PRETEND

The photographer: 0_0

After:

Tim you look like a constipated horse

Do not insult horses that way Todd

ALFRED

Dammit Cass you look like a Model

BRUCE ARE YOU ON DRUGS

No that insane look is the STRESS I get from all of YOU

WHO DREW A MUSTACHE ON ME HOW LONG HAD IT BEEN THERE

Take it again I blinked

[red-balloon12]

You see…you say that as if I can’t recognize he’s absolutely terrifying as a villain while also thinking he deserves to be happy- BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN-

john doe is an extremely unsettling individual actually and i think most people forget/blatantly ignore how truly terrifying he can be because of popularized fanon interpretations

[kurogxrix]

Clingy Mornings

Bruce Wayne x Wife!reader, Batboys x Batmom

IN WHICH your clinginess towards your husband never fails to disgust your sons.

WC: 1.5k

“And where'd you think you're going?” The sudden sound of your voice, albeit muffled partly by your pillow and sleepiness, startled your husband from his sitting place at the edge of your shared bed. You could barely even see with the morning grogginess clouding your iris, yet Bruce’s defined back muscles somewhat managed to break through your view. 

Bringing a hand up to wipe at your eyes, you couldn’t help but relish in the sight of your husband’s fine muscles flexing as he turned to meet your eyes. The way his bicep laid there all deliciously as he tipped all of his body weight onto one arm, the other moving up to caress at your cheek lovingly. There was no denying the pure adoration that swam through his beautiful blue iris, they spoke for themselves. 

“Well one of us has to be downstairs before Alfred decides that we’ve had enough sleeping time and barges into our room.” he chuckled slightly, a rare instance for The Batman, yet he’d only show this side when he was Bruce Wayne alongside you. His beautiful wife and mother of his children, adopted or not, they were yours. He had to force himself and resist the urge to chuckle as he watched your expression morph into a pout, your delicate hand pulling at his arm as you tried to get him back under the sheets with you. 

“Cmon Bruce, just a few more minutes.” you pleaded, tiredness still evident in your voice but it progressively faded the more you stayed up begging your husband to fall asleep with you again. Your hopes spike as Bruce laid behind you for a second, but the fact that he was laying on his forearm and elbow immediately crushed all of your hopes. His warm palm never left your cheek once, making you snuggle deeper into the palm that was just as big as your face. 

“I’d love to, trust me. But are you sure that you don’t want to see those demons of yours before they leave?” Of course he’d do that, of course Bruce would use your beloved children as bait for you to accompany him downstairs and finally leave the bed. You grunted something along the lines of ‘well then you better carry me’ in the crook of his neck as you threw your arms around his shoulders. This time Bruce couldn’t resist chuckling as he grabbed you delicately by the hips, hosting you onto his lap as he stood up from the plush mattress. 

Bruce hadn’t complained once about your clinginess. Truth to be told you’d been like this since the night before because you had rarely seen your beloved Bruce for nearly a whole ass week. It wasn’t unusual that you both wouldn’t see each other, on days that you’d be busy with work and on nights that the city’s menaces just wouldn’t rest. But recently everything had just been too much, too many meetings, too many villains and yet not enough time.

You winced as his hands came to lay across the bruises that now decorated your hips, two huge hand marks engraved into your skin as a remnant of the previous night. Needless to say that the reunion sex had you reaching for the stars, and the faint ache between your legs was a constant reminder of just what Bruce’s perfect girth could do to you. 

Your husband moved his hands with expertise as he descended the stairs, having only one hand under your ass to support your weight as the other laid along your back. You weren’t even concerned about a potential fall, because your husband did happen to be Batman, and his strength was unmeasured to your body weight. No matter what it was. 

Dick had been the first to notice his father walk into the living room, not that it was hard to notice him considering the absolute unit of a man that your 6’4 husband was. Your eldest son was perched up on the sofa, a bowl full of cereal and milk as the TV played in the background. He froze at first, unable to see you from your buried position in Bruce’s chest. Dick was afraid that you’d walk in shortly after you dear husband and start ripping one off on your son for eating on your couch, because even as the grown ass man that he now was, Dick was the messiest eater that you’d ever seen.

Though luckily for him that never came because it seemed like you had better plans, which included being stuck all day to your husband. No exaggeration. He watched in amusement as Bruce sat down amongst his children on the sofa, Damian not even displaying an ounce of attention towards his father as his eyes strained on the TV. could tell that it was a lazy morning for the both of you, even if Bruce claimed that it wasn’t for him. He had been clearly too bothered to dress before going down, instead clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers that he’d quickly thrown on in the morning. His warm, bare skin brought warmth against your clothed one, making you cling to him even harder than you previously were. 

Dick couldn’t help the smile growing upon his lips as he noticed the way your hands were clamped tightly around Bruce’s neck alongside the way your legs caged his waist. Like a clingy koala, he thought. 

You’d not moved from your position upon arrival, and at first your children could’ve thought that you were sleeping, and that Bruce was the clingy one after having snatched you from the comfort of your bed to snuggle with you downstairs on the couch.

Although they quickly found their assumptions to be wrong as they watched Bruce hand move up to your lower back, rubbing it adoringly before he gently tapped you to move and cuddle his side so he could eat. The bowl of cereal that he’d quickly grabbed from Alfred sat on the table staring at him, and his stomach was yelling for it. 

You squeezed in between Bruce and Damian as you climbed off your husband's lap, offering him the limited space that he’d get for the rest of the week. By all means you were still cuddled up to his side, an arm wrapped around his bicep as you rested your head on his bulging muscles. 

In the back of your mind, you heard a little voice telling you that this morning was all too weird. Why? Because the living room was far too silent for it to harbour all four of your children at once in. Maybe If you’d both been a little more aware you would’ve caught the sight of Jason trying and desperately failing in his attempts of ‘secretly’ snapping a picture of you both since the moment you’d walked in. 

Bruce could be sure that in a few hours he’d get a ping from his phone and a bunch of notifications about some sort of instagram post that your son has posted about the seemingly intimidating Bruce Wayne cuddling up to his wife. The caption would read ‘Bruce Wayne has gone soft, nobody is safe from the softpocalypse anymore’, but you didn’t know that as of now. 

Maybe you’d catch sight of that devilish grin adorning your youngest’s face, yet again that was nothing new. Or maybe you would have been able to notice the way Tim would often part from his beloved cup of coffee to check if Jason got the right angle. Although Bruce would admit later on that there’s no shame in showing some well deserved love to your spouse, he’d most definitely ground them all for playing this little ‘prank’ on him. 

You slowly returned in Bruce’s embrace after watching whatever idiotic movie that Dick had put on for god knows how long. Bruce’s bowl now empty and sitting on the coffee table before you. You took it as a sign that you could retake your spot within his arms, and your brooding husband didn’t even complain once as you got comfortable. With your face now buried in the warmth of his neck once again, you couldn’t help yourself but to give him a chaste kiss here and there.

“In front of my coffee.” you paused your movements at the disgusted tone in Tim’s words, effectively getting your other son’s to turn towards you both. You relished in their disgusted disagreeing, carefree laughter escaping you while blocking whatever sound came from the TV. You watched as your boys all left the room one by one to go on with their days, claiming that they can’t stand you two being ‘too in love’ because it was far too disgusting.

A solid minute after the room regained its original silence, save for the soft sounds of the movie still playing, Bruce allowed himself to relax in your arms. He slid down the sofa in a lazy position, keeping you tightly trapped in his embrace as he rested his head above yours. Hands regaining their comforting motions above your back, a rare and cocky smile graced Bruce’s face. Now that the whole mansion knew that you both were up and going, all in your ‘disgusting’ clinginess, he could only guess when the next person who dared to walk upon you both would come and disturb you. 

-

Hope my bruce girlies eat this shit up. also this is UNEDITED😔

[archeronlochan]

poor Jason for knowing exactly what Tim and Dick are capable of and absolutely no one believing him when he tries to point it out

-

“Tim has literally blown up the League, he REGULARLY LIES TO BATMAN”

“Jason, please. Tim would never”

-

“Jay we just don’t understand why you think Dick is ‘a menace to society’…”

“Have you met him?!!!”

-

The only person who would have any idea is Babs and I firmly believe she elects to ignore it or, even more likely, finds immense joy in watching this play out

[brucewaynehater101]

au where everything is the same, but Tim Drake thinks that Bruce Wayne and Batman are a married couple.

when he goes to Bruce after Jason dies, the whole jist of his speech is “I know ur grieving both, but please get your husband under control, he’s beating up homeless ppl”

Wait!!!! For me, I personally love Tim finding out and deducing their identities at the age of nine.

So! Here's my idea to combine that:

Tim knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he doesn't want Bruce to know that he knows (he's scared of Bruce, doesn't want his memory wiped, doesn't want to get involved, thinks it's improper, or whatever reason you want).

Tim, after seeing another fan theory (or fanfic) of Brucie Wayne dating Batman, gets a brilliant idea. He'll beg Bruce to "stop his husband/lover/boyfriend" from beating people up.

Tim knows it's Bruce, but he refuses to admit that he knows. He even goes so far to doctor "proof" of Bruce Wayne and Batman's relationship.

Surprisingly, Tim begging Bruce to reign in Batman is working. The antics of the kid plus the way he absolutely trash talks Batman to Bruce's face give Bruce a light to focus on outside of his grief.

Also, Tim is a menace. He comes over every day to vent about how violent Batman is, politely offers Alfred help, and shamelessly starts pranking Bruce until the man relents

[noxcheshire]

I just think

I just think it’d be really neat

If Damien was JUST as codependent on Danny as Danny is about Damien.

That sort of sweet toxic family dynamic where Damien sees Danny as the — obviously physically young — child he is and thus being incapable of many things, or of anything, because he’s a child. So he’s often taking control of Danny’s actions and where he should go and be.

I’m thinking an unintentional Mother Gothel.

Danny for his part has been damaged so much for so long. From one breaking point to another. So to have someone obviously care for him? After everything he had to endure? He’s not going to care how toxic it is because he can’t even see how toxic it is.

So here they are, feeding into one another’s toxicity.

And if someone tries to stop them from doing that? Damien will revert to his earlier days, all sharp points and bitter sneers and crushing swift violence, because he will not have his little brother taken from him. Never again.

Danny on the other hand just falls apart, because he has someone who cares for him, who treats him so gentle and as if he were a fragile thing. He is loved and someone is trying to take that security from him. He spirals back to the emptiness, to the days where he was not allowed to feel and be human. Just a doll on display, to give and never to take.

And being that Danny is just a kid, just a baby practically, and a damaged one at that, maybe the wariness others feel will fall more onto Damien seeing as he’s older and should know better. They see parts of him they are not comfortable with, parts of himself he had tucked and hid away because even if he wasn’t really conscious about it, Damien was adapting and playing the role that the Wayne’s and others wanted him to play. Now they are seeing that his teachings never really faded, he was just better at hiding it.

He is marred in black, and he only washed it with dirty whites to make them feel better.

And for Damien who sees that wariness, he’ll become even further dependent on Danny, his little brother who reaches for him for affection and safety, who knows and doesn’t ever mind the amount of lives that he had taken and what he does even still to this day.

Here's a little double the trauma for the price of one story for you folks.

So basically Danny got captured by the GIW and was experimented on / tortured until he died and was reincarnated as Danyal Al Ghul. He attempts to adapt to his grandfather's teachings but just can't get behind them unlike his older brother. This culminates in Danny getting caught trying to help an injured animal.

When he refuses to kill it, Ra's decides he's had enough and strikes Danny down then and there. Damian, who was watching all of this go down, disobeys his grandfather for the first time and attempts to resurrect Danny using the Lazarus pits. But Danny's body sinks to the bottom and doesn't return. This devastates Damian and Talia when she gets back.

Meanwhile Danny opens his eyes to find himself in the one place he never wanted to be again, the GIW research facility. The Lazarus pits had responded to the traces of ectoplasm within his body and opened up a portal back to his home dimension. All across the spider verse style you could say. Anyways Danny spends the next decade being experimented on while Damian spends it pretty close to canon albeit with a little more resentment towards Ra's and a little more grief towards the batfam (he feels like he's somehow replacing his little brother by hanging out with them).

Eventually a prison break happens within the GIW facility. Whether because they captured a powerful ghost like Pandora or something or because Clockwork did something, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Danny takes advantage of the chaos to go back through the very portal he got spit out of all those years ago.

Imagine the league's surprise when their youngest heir suddenly comes crawling out of the pits without looking even a day older than when he was first thrown in. The reason for this is because the scientists at the facility thought that Danny was growing in order to simulate being human and gain sympathy. He was always severely punished for this until the remaining ghost part of him eventually adapted to stop his human half from growing. He's now pretty much stuck at the age of 5 or so. Don't worry as he eventually heals from his trauma, he'll start growing again.

Anyways the league, especially Talia is trying to keep it on the downlow that Danny is back. She knows that if Damian finds out, he'll immediately come and try to take back his little brother. Unfortunately for them, they were a little too quiet and Damian gets hella suspicious. So he goes on a solo mission to see what they're up to. He sneaks into Nanda Parbat in the middle of the night and finds a sleeping boy in his baby brother's old room. At first Damian thinks that the league cloned his brother. But when Danny wakes up and stares at him with those big blue eyes he just knows.

So Damian takes Danny with him back home where the batfam is absolutely baffled about where he got this kid from. They're also flabbergasted when Damian speaks to the boy in soft Arabic and has the most gentle and loving expression on his face. This can't be the same demon brat right?

[fancyfeathers]

Mother!Reader and Bruce are relaxing on a couch. (Much to her discomfort.) Daughter!Reader comes running in carrying a raccoon calling it her "Son". Mother!Reader: Sweetheart where did you get that? Bruce: ... The rest of the batfamily comes running in because what does she mean "son"?! Only for them to see Daughter!Reader holding a raccoon that is eating the bacon she didn't eat that morning at breakfast. Even worse for them, she doesn't let Damian pet her "son", and she makes Dick buy baby diapers for her "son" because her "son" can't be having accidents around the house. The paparazzi catches Daughter!Reader at a gala and soon the news crew come running over too. Gotham Daily Times: Ms. Wayne what is this new exotic pet of yours? Daughter!Reader: Ah, Wayne is not my last name, (whatever last name of theirs) is my last name. But, um, this is Wally. He likes to run really fast around me, say hi Wally. (Cut to her holding her son, Wally, up to the microphone of the reporter only for him to sniff it.) Gotham Daily Times: Well, Ms. (last name) has just confirmed a raccoon, her "son", named Wally is officially her pet. Can she out beat Bruce Wayne's son Damian Wayne in hoarding exotic animals? We shall see next time on Gotham Daily Times news channel nine. The speedsters watching from central city: Wally? Because he likes to run fast? ... Someone call Batman how does she know our identities.

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

I LOVE FERAL DAUGHTER!DARLING!!!!

Love the idea of her being an absolute menace when it was just her mother raising her and Bruce having no idea what he is getting himself into with this.

Like it was when she was playing out in the garden in the morning, perhaps even the morning right after the wedding, there is no real honeymoon besides on paper at Wayne Enterprises since Bruce is still the Batman. The two of them are just getting up, after the kids have had had breakfast together and Mother!Darling is literally about to tell Bruce about her daughter’s rather… playful behavior-

“Mama! Mama! Look what I found!”

She already feels like laughing when she hears her daughter’s overeager voice and the bedroom door opens with her daughter running in with her holding something in her skirt and-

“This is my baby! I found him in the yard, I think his mama is dead…”

Her daughter holds up a baby raccoon while Bruce is half way through tying his tie.

“Can we keep him?”

“Of course, little love.”

“Dear-“

“You have something to say, Bruce?”

Well played, if Bruce was to say no now it would break her heart and set everything off on the wrong foot. When she runs out of the room she looks over at him with a knowing glance, she may have been fired into a marriage, but he will feel the consequences of his actions…

“I suppose I forgot to tell you about her… mischievous habits, you will get used to it eventually, and no, there is no taming her, do not try.”

Jason does not understand why she wants it around, it’s a raccoon in Gotham, a baby but still, but hey if it makes her happy and even slightly annoys Bruce, he is fine with it.

Dick is fine with it? He is just confused as of why, I mean if his little sister wants a pet she gets a pet, but why no a cat, dog, or even something like a ferret, but a raccoon? Alright, he’ll ask Babs if she can find any books on exotic animal care and he will take her to the pet store with Damian to pick up supplies-

What does she mean Damian can’t come? When they are little, she is terrified of him, honestly she is always terrified of him. Why would she let him anywhere near her pet when his stare makes her feel daggers. She is holding her baby raccoon away from Damian, and his pets, Alfred the Cat, Titus. Damian is pissed and very well could go whining to Bruce about it.

Then Tim is just freaked out by it, but when he is sitting the furtherest from his new sister and her new pet in the living room and everyone is suggesting names…

“How about Wally? Dick what do think?”

“Ya, he definitely reminds me of Wally.”

“Who’s Wally?”

“Don’t worry about it, lovebug.”

But then this naming choice certainly backfires when Wally West comes running (literally) to Tim about it, at first he is panicked about it but then he sees her playing with the raccoon and-

“Fuck… I hate that you’re not wrong about that.”

Though this situation only escalates over the years when she finds other animals, a husky puppy her father suggests to name Clark, a baby owl named Diana, a hummingbird named Roy, and cats named Barry and Connor.