#absolute batman is a menace

[wuve-mwah]

“auto bots roll out” and then all the batkids rip from the seems of his thighs

[kuronekoartsblog]

I assure you, you don’t want to get on Robin’s bad side.

Here i am once again with more batman art like I promised 🥳

I really liked this pose, but not gonna lie coloring those f*uck*ss suits revealed to be harder than I thought 🫠

soooo YEAH. I still like it though

[mothemotics]

Tim you have to stop tormenting this poor ex grad student he's not prepared for how cruel a bisexual 13 year old can be

[sisaloofafump]

(Click for better resolution)

Remember how Nightwing was first invented as Clark’s Kryptonian “Batman” disguise (with Jimmy Olsen as the Robin-esque Flamebird)? Imagine if they got to interact like that. Just imagine.

Original comic panels from Superman #158 below (and the drawing variants).

And various background variants bc I am indecisive

[ahfrickenfrick]

tim drake took one look at the ‘tell a trusted adult’ message at like 5 years old and full of child rage, he decided to never tell anyone anything ever

[spooksify]

Batman and his kids

I need more Batfam fics that revolve around the JL having no idea who Batman is and has like zero clue that the bat kids have any relation to Batman. Like they are completely unaware that Nightwing has been doing the whole vigilante thing since he was a kid and that he was originally robin and that he’s actually Batman’s kid and at some point during some sort of mission they finally piece it together and are completely baffled, that Batman, dark and brooding Batman, has a kid (more than one actually) and is a father figure who isn’t actually broody and gruff all the time. It would be even funnier if the JL fully thought Batman didn’t have a secret identity in general, like they just thought he sat around in a cave all day until he was needed on duty. :p

[batbaffle]

daaamn

[kettlefire]

DP x DC where Danny pissed off a sorcerer/wizard/witch with a twist-

Danny doesn't really remember why or how it happens. He vaguely knows he got on someone's nerves, like he always does.

Next thing he knows he's in a dark alleyway, which would be fine if everything didn't look ten times larger than him.

It takes him an embarrassing amount of time combined with an uncomfortable interaction to realize what happened.

He's an otter. A wholehearted sea otter.

Okay, so that means whoever he pissed off has magical abilities. Which would be easy to locate if he was still in Amity.

Except he wasn't. He had no clue where he was, or how he got there, and people keep chasing him?!

He settles in hiding out in a sleek black car, sneaked in while the older man had the door open.

He's not sure if it's a blessing or a curse to still have some of his powers. But it is making being an otter just a little bit easier.

He hadn't expected to fall asleep, or to wake up being carried inside an insanely huge manor.

The old man was surprisingly gentle and sweet to him. He had truly expected to be rushed away with a broom.

Instead he was placed in nice cold bath, as the man contemplated what to do with him. The mentions of a river or a zoo, and Danny was out of there.

He's choosing to ignore the fact he was called small in the same breath.

He did feel bad for running away from the old man, but he didn't have time for possible imprisonment, he needed to find someone. Anyone that can help turn him back.

He didn't mean to accidently phase through the ground in his rush, and find himself in a cave. An actual cave, with way too much high tech equipment.

Neither did he expect to come face to face with a man dressed in black with the shockest look on his face.

Let's just say, Danny was glad this man can take a hint. Standing on the counter of a giant computer while point and chittering and squeak is not the best way to communicate.

But what else was Danny supposed to do? He was just lucky he managed himself into a vigilante's hideout.

[whipbogard]

Anyway

I’m done with BTAA.

Prayer circle for everyone 🥲

[bibatfamdisaster]

Family photo shoot:

What do mean ‘Fancier’. THIS JACKET DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BLOOD ON IT

Tim there is a coffee stain on your shirt. Please go change it.

DAMIAN JERRY THE TURKEY CAMNOT BE IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH

HE IS MORE MY FAMILY THAN DRAKE IS

Dick if you tear your tuxedo on the chandeli-

*Crash*

Cassandra, Damian, you both look wonderful. STEPHANIE DO NOT COME HERE WITH THAT- NO

WE NEED THE WORLD TO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE A FUNCTIONAL FAMILY PLEASE AT LEAST PRETEND

The photographer: 0_0

After:

Tim you look like a constipated horse

Do not insult horses that way Todd

ALFRED

Dammit Cass you look like a Model

BRUCE ARE YOU ON DRUGS

No that insane look is the STRESS I get from all of YOU

WHO DREW A MUSTACHE ON ME HOW LONG HAD IT BEEN THERE

Take it again I blinked

[warrior-of-storms]

Warrior shouldn't be allowed to write pt 1 (real lines from my current WIP):

---

He jumped down from the balcony, rolling as he landed and wincing at the sharp pain.

“Are you sure you should be out here?” Dick asked, having followed him down, albeit in a much more graceful manner.

“Too late for second guessing,” Tim said, crossing the street and approaching the door. “We're already here.” He raised his fist and knocked.

---

Someone landed on the roof behind him, and Bruce twisted around, fists raised defensively, and found himself face to face with someone dressed mostly in white. Their teal ballet shoes caught his eye, as did the hot pink lining of their hood. At least it’s not Moon Knight, he thought gratefully, relaxing slightly but not dropping his fighting stance completely.

---

“How’d it go with Jason?” Tim asked almost as soon as Dick was back in the Cave.

“Pretty well,” Dick said, “I didn’t get shot.”

“Kinda sad how low of a bar we have for good interactions with him, huh?”

---

“You ever think about getting a Robin?” Gwen asked, mildly curious.

“What do you think you are?” Terry teased, quickly dodging Gwen’s attempt at a retaliatory kick.

“I am so not a Robin!! You wish I was your Robin!” she retorted. “You’d be lucky to have me if I were Robin!”

---

"I don’t know anything about dimensional travel. All I know is that it ruined my life and killed nearly all my loved ones."

---

“Fine, fine, but it's just… I'm worried about you. The old man says you've been down here for three days straight and he hasn't seen you sleep in over a week. You're not going to take a break, so this is the next best thing. Step away for a little bit.”

“That's the definition of a break,” Bruce said. 

“You're a very annoying man, anyone ever tell you that?” Terry huffed.

“I'm fairly certain Dick's told me at least once a month since he was fifteen,” Bruce said with an air of dry amusement.

--

“He’s okay,” Dick repeated, his voice soft. “I can’t believe it. You were right.”

“The confidence you have in me is astounding,” Tim said sarcastically.

“Well, I- yeah, I deserve that,” Dick admitted.

---

“I think he might’ve cried,” Gwen said, her first words upon returning to the Cave. Bruce stepped away from his workout.

“Did you pass on the code?” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s what made him almost cry,” Gwen said. “Have I mentioned yet that you’re a bunch of nerds? A movie reference as your interdimensional code, really?”

---

“Lectured by an eight year old,” Tim muttered, shaking his head slightly. “How have you fallen so far, Drake?”

“I am eleven,” Damian muttered irritably as he left, heading for the Cave, and he could hear Tim laughing behind him. Insufferable.

---

“Get Red Hood!” shouted a redhead that was trying to help the dude Jason shot. 

“Please don't,” Dick said, smacking the first man to move in the shin. Metal bar plus the electricity to the shin couldn't feel great, and he too fell to the floor. “This is the most civil he's been to me in years.”

--

“Yeah, but that’s different, you were like, what, mid-twenties? He’s my brother-”

“I was twenty-one.”

“You what?” Terry sputtered.

“I was twenty-one when I met Dick. Your first Robin isn’t going to make you a single father, so you have that going for you.”

“And he was eight?”

“Yep.”

“Maybe Matt isn’t so bad.”

“There you go."

---

“Hey!” Tim protested. He did not look like a nerd - he was a cool skater kid, or so he liked to think.

[red-balloon12]

You see…you say that as if I can’t recognize he’s absolutely terrifying as a villain while also thinking he deserves to be happy- BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN-

john doe is an extremely unsettling individual actually and i think most people forget/blatantly ignore how truly terrifying he can be because of popularized fanon interpretations

[kurogxrix]

Clingy Mornings

Bruce Wayne x Wife!reader, Batboys x Batmom

IN WHICH your clinginess towards your husband never fails to disgust your sons.

WC: 1.5k

“And where'd you think you're going?” The sudden sound of your voice, albeit muffled partly by your pillow and sleepiness, startled your husband from his sitting place at the edge of your shared bed. You could barely even see with the morning grogginess clouding your iris, yet Bruce’s defined back muscles somewhat managed to break through your view. 

Bringing a hand up to wipe at your eyes, you couldn’t help but relish in the sight of your husband’s fine muscles flexing as he turned to meet your eyes. The way his bicep laid there all deliciously as he tipped all of his body weight onto one arm, the other moving up to caress at your cheek lovingly. There was no denying the pure adoration that swam through his beautiful blue iris, they spoke for themselves. 

“Well one of us has to be downstairs before Alfred decides that we’ve had enough sleeping time and barges into our room.” he chuckled slightly, a rare instance for The Batman, yet he’d only show this side when he was Bruce Wayne alongside you. His beautiful wife and mother of his children, adopted or not, they were yours. He had to force himself and resist the urge to chuckle as he watched your expression morph into a pout, your delicate hand pulling at his arm as you tried to get him back under the sheets with you. 

“Cmon Bruce, just a few more minutes.” you pleaded, tiredness still evident in your voice but it progressively faded the more you stayed up begging your husband to fall asleep with you again. Your hopes spike as Bruce laid behind you for a second, but the fact that he was laying on his forearm and elbow immediately crushed all of your hopes. His warm palm never left your cheek once, making you snuggle deeper into the palm that was just as big as your face. 

“I’d love to, trust me. But are you sure that you don’t want to see those demons of yours before they leave?” Of course he’d do that, of course Bruce would use your beloved children as bait for you to accompany him downstairs and finally leave the bed. You grunted something along the lines of ‘well then you better carry me’ in the crook of his neck as you threw your arms around his shoulders. This time Bruce couldn’t resist chuckling as he grabbed you delicately by the hips, hosting you onto his lap as he stood up from the plush mattress. 

Bruce hadn’t complained once about your clinginess. Truth to be told you’d been like this since the night before because you had rarely seen your beloved Bruce for nearly a whole ass week. It wasn’t unusual that you both wouldn’t see each other, on days that you’d be busy with work and on nights that the city’s menaces just wouldn’t rest. But recently everything had just been too much, too many meetings, too many villains and yet not enough time.

You winced as his hands came to lay across the bruises that now decorated your hips, two huge hand marks engraved into your skin as a remnant of the previous night. Needless to say that the reunion sex had you reaching for the stars, and the faint ache between your legs was a constant reminder of just what Bruce’s perfect girth could do to you. 

Your husband moved his hands with expertise as he descended the stairs, having only one hand under your ass to support your weight as the other laid along your back. You weren’t even concerned about a potential fall, because your husband did happen to be Batman, and his strength was unmeasured to your body weight. No matter what it was. 

Dick had been the first to notice his father walk into the living room, not that it was hard to notice him considering the absolute unit of a man that your 6’4 husband was. Your eldest son was perched up on the sofa, a bowl full of cereal and milk as the TV played in the background. He froze at first, unable to see you from your buried position in Bruce’s chest. Dick was afraid that you’d walk in shortly after you dear husband and start ripping one off on your son for eating on your couch, because even as the grown ass man that he now was, Dick was the messiest eater that you’d ever seen.

Though luckily for him that never came because it seemed like you had better plans, which included being stuck all day to your husband. No exaggeration. He watched in amusement as Bruce sat down amongst his children on the sofa, Damian not even displaying an ounce of attention towards his father as his eyes strained on the TV. could tell that it was a lazy morning for the both of you, even if Bruce claimed that it wasn’t for him. He had been clearly too bothered to dress before going down, instead clad in nothing but a pair of black boxers that he’d quickly thrown on in the morning. His warm, bare skin brought warmth against your clothed one, making you cling to him even harder than you previously were. 

Dick couldn’t help the smile growing upon his lips as he noticed the way your hands were clamped tightly around Bruce’s neck alongside the way your legs caged his waist. Like a clingy koala, he thought. 

You’d not moved from your position upon arrival, and at first your children could’ve thought that you were sleeping, and that Bruce was the clingy one after having snatched you from the comfort of your bed to snuggle with you downstairs on the couch.

Although they quickly found their assumptions to be wrong as they watched Bruce hand move up to your lower back, rubbing it adoringly before he gently tapped you to move and cuddle his side so he could eat. The bowl of cereal that he’d quickly grabbed from Alfred sat on the table staring at him, and his stomach was yelling for it. 

You squeezed in between Bruce and Damian as you climbed off your husband's lap, offering him the limited space that he’d get for the rest of the week. By all means you were still cuddled up to his side, an arm wrapped around his bicep as you rested your head on his bulging muscles. 

In the back of your mind, you heard a little voice telling you that this morning was all too weird. Why? Because the living room was far too silent for it to harbour all four of your children at once in. Maybe If you’d both been a little more aware you would’ve caught the sight of Jason trying and desperately failing in his attempts of ‘secretly’ snapping a picture of you both since the moment you’d walked in. 

Bruce could be sure that in a few hours he’d get a ping from his phone and a bunch of notifications about some sort of instagram post that your son has posted about the seemingly intimidating Bruce Wayne cuddling up to his wife. The caption would read ‘Bruce Wayne has gone soft, nobody is safe from the softpocalypse anymore’, but you didn’t know that as of now. 

Maybe you’d catch sight of that devilish grin adorning your youngest’s face, yet again that was nothing new. Or maybe you would have been able to notice the way Tim would often part from his beloved cup of coffee to check if Jason got the right angle. Although Bruce would admit later on that there’s no shame in showing some well deserved love to your spouse, he’d most definitely ground them all for playing this little ‘prank’ on him. 

You slowly returned in Bruce’s embrace after watching whatever idiotic movie that Dick had put on for god knows how long. Bruce’s bowl now empty and sitting on the coffee table before you. You took it as a sign that you could retake your spot within his arms, and your brooding husband didn’t even complain once as you got comfortable. With your face now buried in the warmth of his neck once again, you couldn’t help yourself but to give him a chaste kiss here and there.

“In front of my coffee.” you paused your movements at the disgusted tone in Tim’s words, effectively getting your other son’s to turn towards you both. You relished in their disgusted disagreeing, carefree laughter escaping you while blocking whatever sound came from the TV. You watched as your boys all left the room one by one to go on with their days, claiming that they can’t stand you two being ‘too in love’ because it was far too disgusting.

A solid minute after the room regained its original silence, save for the soft sounds of the movie still playing, Bruce allowed himself to relax in your arms. He slid down the sofa in a lazy position, keeping you tightly trapped in his embrace as he rested his head above yours. Hands regaining their comforting motions above your back, a rare and cocky smile graced Bruce’s face. Now that the whole mansion knew that you both were up and going, all in your ‘disgusting’ clinginess, he could only guess when the next person who dared to walk upon you both would come and disturb you. 

-

Hope my bruce girlies eat this shit up. also this is UNEDITED😔

[archeronlochan]

poor Jason for knowing exactly what Tim and Dick are capable of and absolutely no one believing him when he tries to point it out

-

“Tim has literally blown up the League, he REGULARLY LIES TO BATMAN”

“Jason, please. Tim would never”

-

“Jay we just don’t understand why you think Dick is ‘a menace to society’…”

“Have you met him?!!!”

-

The only person who would have any idea is Babs and I firmly believe she elects to ignore it or, even more likely, finds immense joy in watching this play out

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, the GCPD and the Batfamily having a dysfunctional working relationship would be hilarious. Like, the cops know they need the Bats to help keep Gotham’s streets clean, but man, they are fucking troublemakers.

Take Dick, for example. He’s already naturally at home in a police station, so he’ll regularly waltz into GCPD headquarters to give pointers on cases, act as a translator, and will occasionally bring donuts for the night officers. But he’s also been trying to get them to unionize since 2009 and will also unabashedly steal things from the evidence locker. (He always returns it, usually with the adjacent case completed, but it’s a lot of red tape and that’s very annoying.) He also fucks up the coffee machine every time he uses it.

As for Jason… On one hand he is excellent at tracking down perps that have escaped custody or gone to ground. It’s not uncommon for him to pull up with a van full of criminals on the wanted list, which is great… expect for the fact that Jason is also on the wanted list. So whenever he shows up the GCPD cops have to put in effort (minimal as it may be) to try and “capture” the Red Hood so that they don’t get audited by Homeland Security. So now like once a month they have to chase the Red Hood across Gotham proper, because he handed the Penguin into their custody or something, and they have to look good for their bosses—it’s a waste of resources and really fucking annoying, but, hey, they got the Penguin?

Surprisingly, Tim and Stephanie are the most frequent visitors of the GCPD—and they are also the most dreaded. Because Tim is a plucky little know-it-all, but also he can and will update their entire database in a single night and will, at random, solve a cold case they’ve been sitting on for 20 years. The problem is that he’s just fucking annoying about it, and every other week he’ll break into the vending machine to steal the energy drinks—that shit is impossible to get replaced. And Steph? She’ll talk the ears off the night shift and get everyone off task, because they’re busy gossiping about the accounting department in the Manor’s office and planning a prank war on the fire department.

You would think Cassandra would be everyone’s favorite because she’s quiet and much less destructive then her siblings, but you’d be wrong—Cassandra is an absolute menace and the night shift workers have spent years trying to prove it. She will sneak up behind people, leave random pebbles in people’s shoes, and will put googly eyes on anything she touches. The day shift thinks the night officers need to chill because, “isn’t she the chill one?” (No. No she is not. None of the Bats are chill.)

And then there’s Damian. As Robin, the closest he usually gets to the GCPD is through Batman, via his consultations with Commissioner Gordon. But on the rare occasions he’s permitted inside the GCPD, he is dotted on extensively by the officers. He’s deadly and abrasive but they love him. They give him candy and head pats and let him use the sketch-artist supplies to do drawings, which they religiously pin to the break room refrigerator. Damian will pretend to despise this despite the fact that he so clearly loves it.

Lastly, there’s Duke. As the only day shifter, he’s widely considered to be the most well adjusted and relatable Bat. Half a year into his tenure as Signal, he’s on a first name basis with half the GCPD, has his own locker and fridge space for his lunchbox, a coffee mug with his logo on it is kept in the break room, and he’s already been nominated for Employee of the Year despite the fact that he does not actually work for the GCPD. The night shift refuses to accept that he is real.

[noxcheshire]

I just think

I just think it’d be really neat

If Damien was JUST as codependent on Danny as Danny is about Damien.

That sort of sweet toxic family dynamic where Damien sees Danny as the — obviously physically young — child he is and thus being incapable of many things, or of anything, because he’s a child. So he’s often taking control of Danny’s actions and where he should go and be.

I’m thinking an unintentional Mother Gothel.

Danny for his part has been damaged so much for so long. From one breaking point to another. So to have someone obviously care for him? After everything he had to endure? He’s not going to care how toxic it is because he can’t even see how toxic it is.

So here they are, feeding into one another’s toxicity.

And if someone tries to stop them from doing that? Damien will revert to his earlier days, all sharp points and bitter sneers and crushing swift violence, because he will not have his little brother taken from him. Never again.

Danny on the other hand just falls apart, because he has someone who cares for him, who treats him so gentle and as if he were a fragile thing. He is loved and someone is trying to take that security from him. He spirals back to the emptiness, to the days where he was not allowed to feel and be human. Just a doll on display, to give and never to take.

And being that Danny is just a kid, just a baby practically, and a damaged one at that, maybe the wariness others feel will fall more onto Damien seeing as he’s older and should know better. They see parts of him they are not comfortable with, parts of himself he had tucked and hid away because even if he wasn’t really conscious about it, Damien was adapting and playing the role that the Wayne’s and others wanted him to play. Now they are seeing that his teachings never really faded, he was just better at hiding it.

He is marred in black, and he only washed it with dirty whites to make them feel better.

And for Damien who sees that wariness, he’ll become even further dependent on Danny, his little brother who reaches for him for affection and safety, who knows and doesn’t ever mind the amount of lives that he had taken and what he does even still to this day.

Here's a little double the trauma for the price of one story for you folks.

So basically Danny got captured by the GIW and was experimented on / tortured until he died and was reincarnated as Danyal Al Ghul. He attempts to adapt to his grandfather's teachings but just can't get behind them unlike his older brother. This culminates in Danny getting caught trying to help an injured animal.

When he refuses to kill it, Ra's decides he's had enough and strikes Danny down then and there. Damian, who was watching all of this go down, disobeys his grandfather for the first time and attempts to resurrect Danny using the Lazarus pits. But Danny's body sinks to the bottom and doesn't return. This devastates Damian and Talia when she gets back.

Meanwhile Danny opens his eyes to find himself in the one place he never wanted to be again, the GIW research facility. The Lazarus pits had responded to the traces of ectoplasm within his body and opened up a portal back to his home dimension. All across the spider verse style you could say. Anyways Danny spends the next decade being experimented on while Damian spends it pretty close to canon albeit with a little more resentment towards Ra's and a little more grief towards the batfam (he feels like he's somehow replacing his little brother by hanging out with them).

Eventually a prison break happens within the GIW facility. Whether because they captured a powerful ghost like Pandora or something or because Clockwork did something, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Danny takes advantage of the chaos to go back through the very portal he got spit out of all those years ago.

Imagine the league's surprise when their youngest heir suddenly comes crawling out of the pits without looking even a day older than when he was first thrown in. The reason for this is because the scientists at the facility thought that Danny was growing in order to simulate being human and gain sympathy. He was always severely punished for this until the remaining ghost part of him eventually adapted to stop his human half from growing. He's now pretty much stuck at the age of 5 or so. Don't worry as he eventually heals from his trauma, he'll start growing again.

Anyways the league, especially Talia is trying to keep it on the downlow that Danny is back. She knows that if Damian finds out, he'll immediately come and try to take back his little brother. Unfortunately for them, they were a little too quiet and Damian gets hella suspicious. So he goes on a solo mission to see what they're up to. He sneaks into Nanda Parbat in the middle of the night and finds a sleeping boy in his baby brother's old room. At first Damian thinks that the league cloned his brother. But when Danny wakes up and stares at him with those big blue eyes he just knows.

So Damian takes Danny with him back home where the batfam is absolutely baffled about where he got this kid from. They're also flabbergasted when Damian speaks to the boy in soft Arabic and has the most gentle and loving expression on his face. This can't be the same demon brat right?