brucewaynehater101

[brucewaynehater101]

If I was you I wouldn't let the lady wait for an answer

[brucewaynehater101]

wilf (wip i’d like to finish)

[brucewaynehater101]

Fuck it

Tim wonders whether killing the pope is considered to be a sin or not. He wonders if that changes when the pope is an undead, bloodsucking mass murderer using the power invested in his position to fill his blood wine cellar and create more vampires. Knowing his luck, though, the exact circumstances (such as did Tim technically "kill" the pope if he was already dead) will not affect whether it's a sin or not.

Still, he did it. He outsourced the holy water, snuck into the Apostolic Palace, slipped the water into the wine bottle, and drank actual fucking blood. Foul work, but it's done. All he had left was to investigate the personal areas of the pope for any information, evidence, and connections he missed. He was done.

And then he hears a faint crying.

There should be nobody left in the palace. He had killed the vampires lurking about and redirected any humans. Nobody should be here... So why is the noise coming from behind a hidden door in the pope's bedroom?

It takes several moments to figure out the mechanism, but Tim finally gets into the secret room.

"Oh, fuck," he mutters. He blinks down at teary, ruby red eyes. "That was your dad I killed, wasn't I?"

The infant in the craddle only cries louder.

Just one more dinner, Tim had thought. Just once more.

It took weeks of planning, blackmail, rearranging, and finagling to get everyone here. Dick's smile may be a little brittle, Duke is covered in glitter, Barbara may be half dozing, Damian has paint on his forehead, Steph might be entirely distracted by Cass, Cass might be entirely distracted by Steph, Jason brought two guns to the table, Alfred won't sit down with them, and Bruce is nursing five broken ribs. Still, they're all here.

For one last time, Tim is surrounded by his loved ones as he watches them bicker and laugh and yell and playfully shove each other. It's not perfect, it never is, but fondness sinks into his chest with a heavy ache.

He can't go back now. It's too late to reverse the proceedings.

Perhaps he shouldn't have done this last dinner. He had wanted to see them one last time. Just once more, even if they fought against this gathering for whatever current reason they are fighting each other. He would have reacted the same, been stubbornly opposed to meeting some of them after the latest incident, if he were in their shoes. He would've hid and dodged and pulled every excuse. Seeing his loved ones together is great in theory, but that doesn't change that he used to have his own reasons for being upset at everyone. This family in particular has tempers that flare hot and often.

But he wanted this one last dinner. He wanted to see them all, to bask in their presence. He won't get to do this again, so he thought he should ensure that the last time is imprinted upon his memories.

He just hadn't realized how much it would hurt, how much it would shake his conviction.

Or perhaps he did suspect this. This dinner is only occurring after the process is irreversible, after all.

He's glad he's got this moment even if his gut sinks and his saliva turns sour. He'll remember their smiles and the affectionate way they glance over at him, even if his heart twists in his chest.

He'll miss them terribly, but that's okay. That is a pain he'll glady bear. It's one he accounted for and one he will manage.

He ensured that they won't miss him back. This longing will be his burden alone.

[brucewaynehater101]

where did all the years go?

[brucewaynehater101]

Poison, you say? TW: poison, death, blood

Tim swirls the crimson liquid in the gaudy golden goblet. He isn't recoiling even though he wants to.

"Not your vintage?" The old man purrs, an amused crinkle to his eyes. "It's been thoroughly tested if that's your concern."

Tim sets the goblet down with a clink. "While I appreciate the offer, the metallic aftertaste doesn't suit my palate."

"Ah," the man smirks. "Few do revere such refineries." He drains the rest of his cup, staining his teeth red. The man is aware of the macabre impression this gives his grin.

Wiping ruby droplets from his lips with his thumb, Tim placates, "It's truly a shame I can not relish it."

The man morphs his face sympathetically as he hums. "I agree. Though, you didn't come here to discuss my collection."

"No," Tim concedes. He trails a finger along the rim of the cup as he peers up at the man. "I merely wish to inquire something."

The older man's pale eyebrows furrow, his maroon eyes widen, and his lips twist upwards. "You invoked an ancient agreement, stole billions of dollars, and staked three of my men for a question?"

Shrugging, the younger man tips his cup over. The white table cloth quickly soaks up the crimson liquid, and the red continues to run until it drips off the table's edge. "It won't be difficult to answer."

The man directs an indifferent glance at the mess before looking back to Tim. "Well, what is it? What did you deem that important?"

"It's simple," Tim smiles. "Do you know who I am?"

Blinking, the man shakes his head. "Until you approached me, I did not."

"And now?" The younger man presses.

"No." The man's nose scrunces as he scowls. "None of my agents were able to find any information on you."

Tim's face splits into a grin. "Then it was worth it."

"Worth i-" The man coughs, his hand clutching at his chest as he wheezes. "Wha-"

Traling a finger through the red puddle, Tim lifts his hand until the liquid gleams under the chandelier light. Realization dawns on the old man's face, and his eyes dart to his own cup. The younger man laughs, a cheerful sound incongruent with the gurgling and heaving of the old man.

After wiping his hand off on a clean section of the table cloth, Tim pushes his chair back to stand. "Not only was it worth it to figure out how to delay and increase reactions to holy water, but all of my efforts have paid off if you can't remember me."

Sludge-like, black liquid leaks from the old man's eyes, nose, mouth, and ears as he slumps in his chair.

Tim sneers, "I hope you rot in hell, you crispy old fuck."

Just one more dinner, Tim had thought. Just once more.

It took weeks of planning, blackmail, rearranging, and finagling to get everyone here. Dick's smile may be a little brittle, Duke is covered in glitter, Barbara may be half dozing, Damian has paint on his forehead, Steph might be entirely distracted by Cass, Cass might be entirely distracted by Steph, Jason brought two guns to the table, Alfred won't sit down with them, and Bruce is nursing five broken ribs. Still, they're all here.

For one last time, Tim is surrounded by his loved ones as he watches them bicker and laugh and yell and playfully shove each other. It's not perfect, it never is, but fondness sinks into his chest with a heavy ache.

He can't go back now. It's too late to reverse the proceedings.

Perhaps he shouldn't have done this last dinner. He had wanted to see them one last time. Just once more, even if they fought against this gathering for whatever current reason they are fighting each other. He would have reacted the same, been stubbornly opposed to meeting some of them after the latest incident, if he were in their shoes. He would've hid and dodged and pulled every excuse. Seeing his loved ones together is great in theory, but that doesn't change that he used to have his own reasons for being upset at everyone. This family in particular has tempers that flare hot and often.

But he wanted this one last dinner. He wanted to see them all, to bask in their presence. He won't get to do this again, so he thought he should ensure that the last time is imprinted upon his memories.

He just hadn't realized how much it would hurt, how much it would shake his conviction.

Or perhaps he did suspect this. This dinner is only occurring after the process is irreversible, after all.

He's glad he's got this moment even if his gut sinks and his saliva turns sour. He'll remember their smiles and the affectionate way they glance over at him, even if his heart twists in his chest.

He'll miss them terribly, but that's okay. That is a pain he'll glady bear. It's one he accounted for and one he will manage.

He ensured that they won't miss him back. This longing will be his burden alone.

[brucewaynehater101]

The iconic brick scene if Steph was able to slip away and was a tad more unhinged <3

(Totally 100% comics code approved trust me bro!!!)

Bonus Steph w no effects bc I was rlly proud of her legs and tim hides them lol

[brucewaynehater101]

:P

"Will it work?" Tim's voice doesn't waver. There's no hesitancy in his expression. With a firm posture, he regards the small black box within his palm.

"You have our utmost guarantee that the device will perform as specificed, Red Robin," the woman rasps. She opens the duffle bag that the vigilante had brought and hums in satisfaction. "This is more than the agreed amount."

"I trust you have found your reason for discretion."

"All transactions automatically have client privacy. You already know this."

"Perhaps," Red muses with a smirk. "Consider it your commission and a reminder that I will always be your highest bidder when it concerns my own interest."

She chuckles and accepts the bag. "Very well, Red Robin."

"Good." He secures the device into one of his pouches. As he turns to leave, the woman calls out.

"Remember that it will take thirteen hours for the effects to set in but that it is irreversible from the moment you activate the device."

Red peers over his shoulder. "No one will notice until the time period ends, correct?"

"Not unless they are prompted," she agrees.

He nods in acknowledgment and departs. He has a family dinner to blackmail everyone into.

Just one more dinner, Tim had thought. Just once more.

It took weeks of planning, blackmail, rearranging, and finagling to get everyone here. Dick's smile may be a little brittle, Duke is covered in glitter, Barbara may be half dozing, Damian has paint on his forehead, Steph might be entirely distracted by Cass, Cass might be entirely distracted by Steph, Jason brought two guns to the table, Alfred won't sit down with them, and Bruce is nursing five broken ribs. Still, they're all here.

For one last time, Tim is surrounded by his loved ones as he watches them bicker and laugh and yell and playfully shove each other. It's not perfect, it never is, but fondness sinks into his chest with a heavy ache.

He can't go back now. It's too late to reverse the proceedings.

Perhaps he shouldn't have done this last dinner. He had wanted to see them one last time. Just once more, even if they fought against this gathering for whatever current reason they are fighting each other. He would have reacted the same, been stubbornly opposed to meeting some of them after the latest incident, if he were in their shoes. He would've hid and dodged and pulled every excuse. Seeing his loved ones together is great in theory, but that doesn't change that he used to have his own reasons for being upset at everyone. This family in particular has tempers that flare hot and often.

But he wanted this one last dinner. He wanted to see them all, to bask in their presence. He won't get to do this again, so he thought he should ensure that the last time is imprinted upon his memories.

He just hadn't realized how much it would hurt, how much it would shake his conviction.

Or perhaps he did suspect this. This dinner is only occurring after the process is irreversible, after all.

He's glad he's got this moment even if his gut sinks and his saliva turns sour. He'll remember their smiles and the affectionate way they glance over at him, even if his heart twists in his chest.

He'll miss them terribly, but that's okay. That is a pain he'll glady bear. It's one he accounted for and one he will manage.

He ensured that they won't miss him back. This longing will be his burden alone.

[brucewaynehater101]

Just one more dinner, Tim had thought. Just once more.

It took weeks of planning, blackmail, rearranging, and finagling to get everyone here. Dick's smile may be a little brittle, Duke is covered in glitter, Barbara may be half dozing, Damian has paint on his forehead, Steph might be entirely distracted by Cass, Cass might be entirely distracted by Steph, Jason brought two guns to the table, Alfred won't sit down with them, and Bruce is nursing five broken ribs. Still, they're all here.

For one last time, Tim is surrounded by his loved ones as he watches them bicker and laugh and yell and playfully shove each other. It's not perfect, it never is, but fondness sinks into his chest with a heavy ache.

He can't go back now. It's too late to reverse the proceedings.

Perhaps he shouldn't have done this last dinner. He had wanted to see them one last time. Just once more, even if they fought against this gathering for whatever current reason they are fighting each other. He would have reacted the same, been stubbornly opposed to meeting some of them after the latest incident, if he were in their shoes. He would've hid and dodged and pulled every excuse. Seeing his loved ones together is great in theory, but that doesn't change that he used to have his own reasons for being upset at everyone. This family in particular has tempers that flare hot and often.

But he wanted this one last dinner. He wanted to see them all, to bask in their presence. He won't get to do this again, so he thought he should ensure that the last time is imprinted upon his memories.

He just hadn't realized how much it would hurt, how much it would shake his conviction.

Or perhaps he did suspect this. This dinner is only occurring after the process is irreversible, after all.

He's glad he's got this moment even if his gut sinks and his saliva turns sour. He'll remember their smiles and the affectionate way they glance over at him, even if his heart twists in his chest.

He'll miss them terribly, but that's okay. That is a pain he'll glady bear. It's one he accounted for and one he will manage.

He ensured that they won't miss him back. This longing will be his burden alone.

[brucewaynehater101]

my favorite crack-y hc is that tim did not give a shit the red hood was jason. that's the red hood, he's a rogue, if he won't be rehabilitated then he has to be incarcerated. they have a job to do.

obviously this is completely unrealistic, but it's funny as fuck

bruce: "son, I'm sorry. come home."

jason: "i'm not your son."

tim: "you're going to compromise our identities, batman. stop yelling your family drama for everyone to hear. do i need to put you through [insert invasive contingency/protocol hear] to make sure you aren't compromised? we have a job to do."

jason: "you hear that, old man? stop yelling your family drama-"

tim: "you too, red hood. you used to be a bat. that's what you're always yelling about, right? so obviously you have to go through the protocols just like any other bat. if you claim you're not a bat anymore, then you shouldn't have been yelling about it, and the protocols wouldn't have been necessary. get in the batmobile, hood."

he proceeds to put both jason and bruce in the back seat and drive them himself. not the self driving function. he drives it manually, to assert dominance.

[brucewaynehater101]

jason todd's overnight adult era (a completely unhinged headcanon)

okay so picture this right. jason's been back for like a few months and he's still in his full feral mode. like absolutely UNHINGED. eating cereal with a knife because why not, sleeping on the floor because beds are for the weak, probably hasn't done laundry in weeks and just steals clothes from various safe houses. peak gremlin energy.

and then one day he wakes up and it's like a switch flipped in his brain. not gradually. not slowly. literally overnight. he sits up in whatever corner he was sleeping in and goes "oh fuck. i'm like... an adult adult now aren't i."

and suddenly jason todd, former street rat extraordinaire, decides he needs to Get His Shit Together™

the league of assassins is LOSING their minds because yesterday he was biting people in fights and eating raw ramen noodles and today he's asking ra's if they have a costco membership and whether the lazarus pit water is safe for doing laundry (it's not, but jason's already started a load)

talia walks into his room expecting to find him sharpening knives on the floor and instead he's made his bed with hospital corners and is organizing his ammunition by caliber AND expiration date. there's a fucking chore chart on the wall. color coded.

"beloved what is this" "it's wednesday talia i have to do the dishes" "you... you killed three people yesterday" "yeah and the dishes still need to be done what's your point"

mans goes from eating nothing but gas station hot dogs and spite to meal prepping on sundays. has a grocery list that he organized by store layout for maximum efficiency. learned how to do taxes via youtube at 2am because apparently the irs doesn't care if you were dead for a while

the REAL chaos happens when damian shows up and jason's already in full mom mode

like bruce and dick are telling everyone "watch out for jason he's unstable and violent and will probably try to fight anyone who looks at him wrong"

but then jason shows up to family dinner with homemade cookies and a lecture about proper nutrition and damian trailing behind him with perfectly braided hair and a matching tupperware container full of cut fruit

dick: "jason what the hell happened to you" jason, pulling out a tide pen to fix a stain on tim's shirt: "i became a responsible adult richard keep up"

tim's just standing there in shock because yesterday jason threw a brick at his head and today jason's asking if he's drinking enough water and did he remember to take his vitamins

the absolute PEAK of this is when the family expects feral jason and instead gets:

jason with a laminated chore chart that he updates with washable markers

jason who sets phone alarms for everything including "tell damian he did good today" and "make sure replacement ate something besides coffee"

jason who has strong opinions about thread count and fabric softener

jason who meal preps for the entire family even though half of them didn't ask for it

jason who somehow learned to do everyone's taxes and keeps spreadsheets of their expenses

jason with a fucking planner. WITH STICKERS.

bruce walks into the kitchen at 6am expecting to find maybe some evidence of jason breaking in and stealing food and instead jason's already been up for two hours making pancakes from scratch and packing lunches

"good morning bruce i made extra coffee and damian needs new school supplies here's a list organized by priority and budget considerations"

bruce.exe has stopped working

the best part is jason's still absolutely unhinged in fights he just comes home and immediately switches back into domestic mode

he'll literally shoot seventeen people on patrol and then come home and lecture damian about not leaving his socks on the floor and did everyone remember to use coasters

roy visits the outlaws expecting the same chaotic jason who used to eat cereal out of coffee mugs and finds jason color-coding their ammunition storage and asking if anyone knows what temperature you're supposed to wash tactical gear at

jason has become the team mom and NO ONE knows how to handle it

kori: "friend jason yesterday you said hygiene was a social construct" jason, folding everyone's laundry: "that was yesterday kori today we have standards"

anyway the moral of this story is that jason todd said "if i'm gonna be alive again i'm gonna do it RIGHT" and overcorrected so hard he became the most aggressively domestic person in gotham

[brucewaynehater101]

Tim just chased the criminal all the way to Blüdhaven

since he's already here...

[brucewaynehater101]

beep beep, timmy hawk coming through

[brucewaynehater101]

Steph if you didn't go to every costume contest in Gotham in your spoiler suit saying how it was "100% true to detail" you probably wouldn't have this problem.

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[brucewaynehater101]

Tim deciding to put a piece of paper with the Robin logo on it over the Batman symbol on the chair is already amazing (did he draw that? print it out?) but I like how Dick also specifically chose to sit in it while visiting during the parent teacher conference even though he didn't have to. "oh cool Tim made a Robin chair I gotta use it"

[brucewaynehater101]

i don't wanna be homophobic... but i don't have a choice /ref

refs, close-ups & w/o text below cut!

my posture is dying because for some reason i don't take breaks. kill me now

[brucewaynehater101]

A comment on one of my fics motivated me to finish one of my WIPs ^^ Here's a 5k oneshot:

"Leash Yanker" by OneoftheUnknown

Five times Tim metaphorically leashed Batman. Plus one time Tim refused to leash him.

[brucewaynehater101]

plopping Steph in the Tim Robin suit