#Jason Todd is so done

[lynlee494]

An (Un)Wise Father

Chapter Five: Murder Cannot Be Hidden Long

When Matches Malone strides into Red Hood’s meeting and settles in among the new recruits, Jason Todd has never been more grateful for the full-face helmet. Why was dad Bruce Batman here…?

Then Jason thinks back to the gala and curses internally. Bruce had obviously figured out from their encounter at the gala who Red Hood really is, and has decided to… what? Taunt him? Anger flaring, Jason refuses to react to the persona that Jason himself had once helped Bruce to dress up as. Whatever this is, if Bruce wants to play dress up and look like a fool, who is Jason to stop him.

___________

Bruce isn’t sure what to expect when he walks into the meeting led by Red Hood. Even though his recent ‘rescue’ at the hands of Red Hood had Bruce looking at Red Hood’s activities with a new light, there was still the more pressing concern.

Red Hood had deliberately gone for and pressed the emergency beacon hidden on his belt. It could simply be that Red Hood had observed one of them using it. Or perhaps this newest criminal to Gotham just thought Batman was partial to the billionaire as some rumors suggested.

Or Red Hood knows Bruce Wayne’s secret.

[ahfrickenfrick]

jason: i physically cannot believe you’re the oldest

dick: wtf why not

jason: i literally heard you ask alfred if you can have wally over for a playdate, you’re 27 years old!! wally is 28 for gods sake, you have your own place!!

dick: …you are NEVER too old for a playdate with your homie

jason: YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR SEVEN YEARS!!

[archeronlochan]

poor Jason for knowing exactly what Tim and Dick are capable of and absolutely no one believing him when he tries to point it out

-

“Tim has literally blown up the League, he REGULARLY LIES TO BATMAN”

“Jason, please. Tim would never”

-

“Jay we just don’t understand why you think Dick is ‘a menace to society’…”

“Have you met him?!!!”

-

The only person who would have any idea is Babs and I firmly believe she elects to ignore it or, even more likely, finds immense joy in watching this play out

[undertheredhood]

bruce who is trying to make amends with jason after gotham war: y'know, i don't want to live in a world where we're not tight.

jason who has finally had enough of bruce’s bullshit: then kill yourself

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Have you… you know… died?

part 3 of MM ao3

Jason wakes up slowly. God, his whole body feels sore and achy. He shifts, then freezes. 

He was in an alley. He’d just been shot by some idioceta. He’d been bleeding out and unable to contact the cave. He struggled to remember what had happened. 

Tim had been there, hadn't he? But he didn’t think he was at the cave. And he wasn’t in enough pain to account for a near fatal bullet wound. In fact, apart from feeling achy he felt fine. But he knew he had been shot. How long had it been? 

He froze. He remembered glowing green. No. He was fine. He wasn’t with the League.

He could hear the sounds of traffic and what sounded like a whispered argument and he was still in uniform. 

At least he still had his helmet on. Which actually didn’t help much since the display was busted and he could barely make out a water stained ceiling above him.

He tried to focus on the sound of voices, but they were muffled, probably in a different room.

He sits up slowly, turning his head to take in as much of the room as he can through the fritzing display. It looks like he’s in a living room. He’s laying on a couch with a small coffee table between it and an old T.V. that's sitting on a crate. Off to the side is a kitchen. The voices are probably coming from a bedroom, he still can’t make out what they’re saying apart from a few words that don’t tell him anything. 

He stands, moving quietly towards the window. Whatever the situation is, it will be better if he can get out of here before they notice he’s awake.

The voices fall silent and Jason quickly unlocks the window. There are footsteps behind him and he hurries to pull the window open.

“Red Hood.” 

Jaso pauses and turns back, tensing and preparing to defend himself. 

He stills. In front of him looms a gorgeous redhead, she’s tall, probably about his height, and she has brilliant teal eyes. Behind her stands… a boy who looks remarkably like Tim. The eyes are a slightly different shade of blue and his hair is longer and unruly. 

“If you’ll wait just a moment, Hood, my brother,” she glares at they boy who looks sheepish, “can explain what’s happening.”

Jason considered. It would be nice to know what happened. Why he isn’t dead. And what that green stuff was. And neither of them look like they could take him down.

He turns full towards them and crosses his arms, “Explain.”

The girl relaxes and smiles at him. “Thank you. I’m Jazz, and this is Danny.”

“Hi.”

Jason waits. Jazz nudges her brother who steps forward and rubs the back of his neck not looking at Jason.

“I found you outside and unconscious. I brought you here, so you wouldn’t get murdered by some random goon or something.”

Jason stares. “You,” he points. “carried me?” There’s no way this scrawny kid carried him.

“Umm…” 

Jazz nudges Danny again and he shoots her a glare.

“What did you do?” Jason asks.

“What?” Danny frowns.

Jason motions to the tear in his suit, the bloodstain. “What did you do? I clearly remember getting shot.”

“Well, you see…” Danny trails off.

Jazz sighs. “Danny was able to heal you.”

“You a meta?” Jason asks. He feels relieved. If the kid’s a meta that means there was no Lazarus pit involved.

“Not exactly.” Danny says slowly, not looking at Jason. Jason waits. After a moment Danny continues. “Have you at some point, died or been really close to death or glowing green goo?”

Jason tenses up. He grits his teeth and he can feel his eyes start to glow. He steps forward menacingly, reaching for a gun that he only now realizes is on the coffee table and not in his holster. He shoves the fear down and growls, “What do you know about the Pits?”

*idioceta (ee-dýoh-keh-tah)- a word I made up combining the spanish words idiota and biblioteca. Means a library full of stupidity or a library worth of stupidity.

[thechairstorm1]

Tim: saying goodbye is acceptable but the moment I say enjoy your next 24 hours, people call me psychotic

Jason: who the fuck are you saying that to?!?

[marionluth]

New story🤩 Super excited about this! First work in what I envision as a series of one-shots

Title: In Her Defense His Name Sucked

Fandom: Batman (all media types) & Jessica Jones MCU

Summary: AU: Fed up with NYC and her life there, Jessica Jones decides to take a case in Gotham City and attempt to start her life over there. Between Gotham Villains, the Bats and a glorious Red Hood, what could possibly go wrong?

First work of “In Their Defense” series

Or how Jessica Jones met Red Hood.

Status: Complete One-shot

Rating: T

Pairings: Eventual F/M with Jessica Jones/Jason Todd

Warnings: Swearing

Links: Ao3

[lynlee494]

An (Un)Wise Father

Summary:

When Matches Malone strides into Red Hood’s meeting and settles in among the new recruits, Jason Todd has never been more grateful for the full-face helmet. Why is dad Bruce Batman here…?

Then Jason thinks back to the gala and curses internally. Bruce had obviously figured out from their encounter at the gala who Red Hood really is, and has decided to… what? Taunt him? Anger flaring, Jason refuses to react to the persona that Jason himself had once helped Bruce to dress up as. Whatever this is, if Bruce wants to play dress up and look like a fool, who is Jason to stop him.

Bruce isn’t sure what to expect when he walks into the meeting led by Red Hood. Even though his recent ‘rescue’ at the hands of Red Hood had Bruce looking at Red Hood’s activities with a new light, there was still the more pressing concern.

Red Hood had deliberately gone for and pressed the emergency beacon hidden on his belt. It could simply be that Red Hood had observed one of them using it. Or perhaps this newest criminal to Gotham just thought Batman was partial to the billionaire as some rumors suggested.

Or Red Hood knew Bruce Wayne’s secret. (thanks to @greystend for such a fun tumblr prompt)

Batman, panicked by how much the villain knows about him and Jason, decides to infiltrate the Red Hood's gang with his Matches Malone's identity

Jason *oh shit he found out* : wtf wtf wtf is this a joke ? Are you making fun of me ???

Matches!Bruce *oh fuck he's even more unhinged than planned* : ... I don't understand, boss ?

Jason, struggling to find his words in way his men won't understand : you really thought I wouldn't recognize my own fa- urgh I mean genito- wait that not- hum, the guy that raised me ???

Matches!Bruce *wait oh shit the OG Matches Malone had a kid ???* : wait... *I don't even know his name!!* chum, I had to make sure it's really you, I wasn't sure, you understand ?

And then their relationship get better

except Jason is "argh I hate you but also you kinda made the effort of meeting me in my turf and also you didn't say anything about the killing so perhaps..."

and Bruce is like,"Oh shit I accidentally adopted the Red Hood, and also it's my fault his real father is dead, except he doesn't know that and must think Matches just abandoned him one day without any explanation. Also I should really figure out his name at some point"

[dragonpyre]

Ever look at a character and think “man, I wish the writers didn’t hate you”

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: We're going to put everything we love in this box.

Jason: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: no

Tim: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: No.

Damian: Can I-

Bruce: NO YOU MAY NOT PUT DICK IN THE BOX!

Dick: *cries in My Brothers Just Admitted They Love Me*

[everwalldigan]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???

[lynlee494]

An (Un)Wise Father - Chapter Three

Chapter Three - Give Me Your Blessing.

When Matches Malone strides into Red Hood’s meeting and settles in among the new recruits, Jason Todd has never been more grateful for the full face helmet. Why was dad Bruce Batman here…?

Then Jason thinks back to the gala and curses internally. Bruce had obviously figured out from their encounter at the gala who Red Hood really is, and has decided to… what? Taunt him? Anger flaring, Jason refuses to react to the persona that Jason himself had once helped Bruce to dress up as. Whatever this is, if Bruce wants to play dress up and look like a fool, who is Jason to stop him.

___________

Bruce isn’t sure what to expect when he walks into the meeting led by Red Hood. Even though his recent ‘rescue’ at the hands of Red Hood had Bruce looking at Red Hood’s activities with a new light, there was still the more pressing concern.

Red Hood had deliberately gone for and pressed the emergency beacon hidden on his belt. It could simply be that Red Hood had observed one of them using it. Or perhaps this newest criminal to Gotham just thought Batman was partial to the billionaire as some rumors suggested.

Or Red Hood knows Bruce Wayne’s secret.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

The amount of anime screenshots I stared at for this one a;dslkfsa;lk

Obligatory click for better quality.

Many thanks to @ashoss for helping me keep my sanity while I was working on this one. Couldn't have done it without them!

Meme reference and clean versions under cut

If you haven't seen The Good Place yet, you definitely should.

I just wanna show this panel off. I put WAY too much effort in it, but I don't regret it :3c

[undertheredhood]

any of bruce's exes/current lovers: how you would you like to be my son?

jason 'gotta catch 'em all!' todd: how about you guys go to therapy?

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC De-Aged Triplets and Their Tired Single Sister

Jason has seen the four of them a couple of times in Crime Alley now. They looked like a family, what with similar facial features- err, actually, the kids looked like carbon copies of each other, but their mom/sister/aunt/cousin looked similar enough to be related to them by blood.

Normally, Jason didn't care for each and every family that moved into Crime Alley. Sure, he cared about all of them as a whole, but there were a lot of people, and he couldn't possibly get elbow deep in every life story he came across. So all he knew about them were three things: a) they were on the run from someone or something, b) they trusted each other and no one else, and c) apparently, they have made it their life goal to never make any kind of sense.

The list of shit they have gotten into included but was not limited to:

• one of the kids biting a gun. Not the hand of the attacker who was holding it, no, the actual gun. And he bit a piece of it clean off, which earned him - or her, actually, Jason knew one of the triplets was a girl but he couldn't tell them apart - a lecture from their... mom? sister? parental figure. The lecture was about how chewing metal does not help with iron deficiency.

• getting kidnapped and creeping out their kidnapper to the point of him returning the kids back home. A few witnesses said one of the kids was actually driving, sitting on the kidnappers lap behind the steering wheel and cheerfully commanding the man to speed up or brake. Their mom actually apologized to the kidnapper for the incident and offered him homemade cookies for his troubles. He ran away without them.

• driving a lady at the laundromat insane by repeatedly walking inside and climbing into one of the washing machines. They never got out of it, just one kid walking into the laundromat, climbing into washing machine, then another kid, looking exactly like the previous one, walking inside, climbing into the same washing machine, then another kid walking into the laundromat- well, you get the idea. The lady claimed she's seen at least five kids do that in a row, but when she looked into that washing machine, there was no one inside.

• casually falling out of windows. Or, better, walking out of them like they were doors, at any given opportunity. The witness - an old man who was helping their mom with groceries - said the mom did not care in the slightest, and when he asked her about it, obviously concerned, she just said, tired and exasperated, 'they like the feeling of free fall, don't worry, they'll come back in a minute'. Sure enough, they did, not a scratch on them. The family lived on the sixth floor.

• eating insane amounts of food. Jason personally witnesses their mom give them her wallet, telling the kids, 'eat until you're full', and promptly passing out on the table, her head on her arms. The kids then proceeded to eat four whole pizzas, three burgers each, then seven brownies and at least five cups of soda. What was interesting about it was not only the amount of food they ate but the way they never left their mom unattended, one of the kids always staying beside her sleeping figure as the other two went to order.

And now, all four of them were standing in front of him. Not Jason Todd him, but Red Hood him. And he was... confused.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, can you watch them for a few hours? Three, maybe four," the mom, Jazz as she introduced herself, was looking at him like it was he who was speaking nonsense, not her. Because asking a crime lord to watch three kids in the middle of the night is not something a sane person would do.

"Why?" He asks, bewildered, because what the fuck else is he supposed to say?

"I need to kill a man, and if they come with me, it will take three times longer," Jazz tells him. Is she saying the kids slow her down or what? Jason can admit he's never been this confused in his entire life.

"You could ask me to kill a man, while you stay with them, no?" He tries to reason, but the girl waves him off:

"No, that will take even longer. Besides, no offense, but you kill people to simply end their life, and I need that man to fucking stop existing forever."

What's the difference he almost wants to ask. But instead of that, he just sighs.

"Why me? I'm sure you could find a babysitter-"

"No babysitter will handle them. The last one told me they have been running laps on the ceiling, which is, actually, not that big of a deal. They are kids. Kids like running around," she huffs, and Jason suspects she is missing the point here, but okay. He gets why babysitters are not an option.

"You do understand what they can witness if they stay here?" He asks, as the last attempt to reason with the girl, but she just nods and leans down, making all the kids turn to her.

"Okay, you menaces, tell me what not to do while you're staying with Mr. Red Hood."

"No eating people," one kid starts.

"No driving people insane," the other one continues.

"No, um, stealing eyeballs," the third one finishes, and what the fuck are those ground rules? Is this girl a mother to eldrith horrors? That would explain some shit.

Jazz turns to him, "See? They're all good."

In what world is that good? Jason debates if he should start running now or when she leaves.

"Do they have names?" He asks instead. The girl nods:

"Danny." His surprise must be evident even through the mask because she sighs and points to each kid, "Diane, Daniel, Dante. Dani, Danny, and Dan. Actually, you know what, let's make this easier," she rummages through her bag and gets a marker out before gesturing to the kids, "Come here."

As they do, she proceeds to draw numbers 1, 2, and 3 on their foreheads. Then she nods to Hood and puts the marker away.

"Okay, that's better. Behave, you monsters, I'll be back soon!"

After she leaves, Jason looks down at the kids. They also look at him, eerie and unblinking.

Finally, one of them - number 2, Dani, if he is not mistaken - asks:

"Do you want teeth? We have a lot."

"She doesn't mean her teeth," number 1 clarifies, "She means other teeth."

...This is going to be some very long three hours.

[quadrantadvisor]

Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.

He closes Wikipedia.

That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.