#matches malone

[mrmanbat]

When did high society shindigs get a monopoly over undercover missions??

bro most of the core Bats are already rich af. Idgaf about seeing then undercover if it’s in their usual surroundings. Boring!!

(Yes this includes Matches Malone and associated personas)

I want Jason Todd pretending to be a really buff sorority girl bc Steph and Cass had their own shit to deal with and someone had to do it—

I want Kathy (not Kate) Kane to pretend to be a military personnel in charge of training the new recruits.

I want her niece Betty to be one of those new recruits.

I want Tim pretending to be a nurse and screwing up so badly he ‘accidentally’ misdiagnosed someone with the clench

I WANT Damian to have to go to a specialized hippy acts school. (THINK OF THE CHARACTER DEPARTMENT WE COULD GET!!)

[secretidentie]

When Jason starts building his crime lord career, people start inexplicably comparing him to Matches Malone. They have the same mannerisms, the same fighting styles and a similar build. Some rogues even have theories that they're the same guy.

So when ever Matches is mentioned, red hood mutters "fuck that guy" under his breath and since Bruce puts his whole batussy into his personas, he's starts reciprocating that energy. All the rogues are scrambling to find out what happened to cause this beef. The entire Gotham underground now has to pick a side between one of their own who they've worked with and gotten to know over the years versus the new up and coming crime lord that's offering jobs and improving their lives. While Jason is wondering what he can do to stop being compared to Bruce, Bruce is trying to be a supportive parent (which means making sure the rogues don't turn on J) while protecting his persona he's been curating for years.

[greystend]

Batman, panicked by how much the villain knows about him and Jason, decides to infiltrate the Red Hood's gang with his Matches Malone's identity

Jason *oh shit he found out* : wtf wtf wtf is this a joke ? Are you making fun of me ???

Matches!Bruce *oh fuck he's even more unhinged than planned* : ... I don't understand, boss ?

Jason, struggling to find his words in way his men won't understand : you really thought I wouldn't recognize my own fa- urgh I mean genito- wait that not- hum, the guy that raised me ???

Matches!Bruce *wait oh shit the OG Matches Malone had a kid ???* : wait... *I don't even know his name!!* chum, I had to make sure it's really you, I wasn't sure, you understand ?

And then their relationship get better

except Jason is "argh I hate you but also you kinda made the effort of meeting me in my turf and also you didn't say anything about the killing so perhaps..."

and Bruce is like,"Oh shit I accidentally adopted the Red Hood, and also it's my fault his real father is dead, except he doesn't know that and must think Matches just abandoned him one day without any explanation. Also I should really figure out his name at some point"

[catastrophicalcat]

"Name's Malone'' made me super happy!

Jenny Sparks #5

[arianna-creates]

@aliteralchicken 's old textpost made me go feral a few months back and after seeing it again I decided to finish this sketch, color it, and post bc Tim's fit made me think of the barbie movie

[dceasesd]

LMFAO NOT MATCHES MALONE

[arielrothbart]

“We boil, wither, brilliant stage full of friends, shadow instead of me kiss you.”

Two-Face & Matches Malone

(I want to draw Harvey in his old clothes)

(why not, I need him in that white turtle neck shirt!!!）

[spocks-husband]

I knowww I'm a day late, but if you're looking for a good Christmas read I would highly recommend One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze. It's a one shot about an encounter with Mr. Freeze that Dick and Bruce have in his early days as Robin and I just need to show you guys some panels because I'm beyond obsessed.

First of all, baby Dick has this adorable little Winter version of his uniform and it's so precious (he's also just generally adorable).

AND we get Dilf dadbod Bruce ft. Matches Malone

[chronicwhorebatman]

need you all to bear with me for five minutes but please god, please imagine, that you are clark kent. maybe you have a little bit of a crush on your Good Ol' Pal Batman. you haven't tried to look into his identity, that's just rude!

but.

but say clark has to go undercover for various reasons (shipment of kryptonite?). and some gotham goons come in, and they're loud, and one's got this fuck off oily hair and a horrendous clashing colours suit and a thick jersey accent and a matchstick hanging from his mouth, and also a HEARTBEAT THAT YOU RECOGNISE.

imagine having a huge crush on batman and he, like, turns out to be MATCHES MALONE, local grimy goon. how do you even recover from that. imagine the next jl meeting

[feartoxinjelloshot]

the matches malone + plasticman drag crossover that nobody asked for (and some bonus new background characters. they're basically plas's version of echo and query)

[frownyalfred]

I wanna see a fic where the Batkids realize that no, Matches Malone isn't just their dad's crimesona. He was a real dude who committed suicide, and Bruce committed identity theft for a mission and then proceeded to... not stop committing identity theft. Like, it legitimately sounds fucking insane when you actually hear it

Bruce: "You've never heard of the sunk cost fallacy?"

Jason, leaning about Matches Malone's origins in detail for the very first time: "Did you -- did you just make a joke?"

Bruce, deflating slightly: "...Matches likes jokes."

Jason: "Oh my GOD--"

[azuzulira]

You know the idea that all the Batfam have Malone family identities for undercover work? I think it would be funny if a mobster asked Matches why they hadn't seen Jason's Malone in a while. Specifically, this would be just a bit before Tim arrives on the scene, so Bruce is definitely still raw and getting worse. The angry look on Matches' face nearly kills the mobster that asked, but after a moment Bruce will answer. "He was killed." And there's not one person in the room that doubts that Matches is still grieving. That he would do anything and everything for his son back. One of them breaks the silence, timidly "Who did it?"

No one speaks until Matches answers, looking to all of them like he was trying to wrestle the words out without flying into a rage or breaking down, "It was a Joker attack." There's a round of sympathy, everyone's lost someone to the Clown over the years, and Matches leaves quickly after.

As soon as his car is gone, the mobsters all look at each other, and begin to hatch a plot. It might take a few years, but they'd make sure the Clown gets what he deserves. And that's why Joker's beaten and bloody body is left strung up on Arkham's gates, with "Justice for the Malones" written in blood on the wall.

[secretidentie]

I've heard people talk about how gothamites probably assume the Waynes are in the mob and I think it would be funnier if that made more people (including villains) want to be in their good graces.

Goons often try to make a good impression when they're assigned to kidnap a Wayne coz they want to gain their respect while others hide so they don't get a hit put out on them. More then once a goon has brought a CV with him to kidnap Bruce coz he heard the mob pays well. Bruce just gives them jobs at WE.

The penguin would definitely want to form connections or make deals with them. When Bruce insists he isn't a mob boss Penguin thinks he's either playing dumb or he's just being used to launder the money and one of his kids is actually in charge. Tim definitely plays into the crime boss persona sometimes and is Penguin's primary suspect for the ring leader. Jason is offended that no one thinks he "gives off crime boss vibes" and almost reveals his identity in frustration.

Joker's people have also either try to hire them or form a partnership with the Waynes to get more manpower but batman always ruins those schemes prematurely. This isn't particularly unusual for batman to do but the fact that it's a near guaranteed fail indicates that there might be a mole working for Wayne, perhaps the butler, but they don't know enough about the Wayne's businesses and power to throw around baseless accusations. Besides they much prefer working with local trustworthy rogues like Matches Malone anyway.

The only villain really mad about this is Lex Luther coz now Bruce has more money, hair AND street cred then him.

[batmen-and-birds]

I can image the Justice League fighting some sorcerer one day and during the fight Batman gets hit with some spell

There the big smoke cloud and in the rubble you see two figures. Batman and Brucie. The sorcerer was made all masks into different identities to create a distraction but also to reveal the Batman's civilian ID to the world. Fortunately that didn't work, since Superman threw his cape over Brucie before anyone could see and Batman (now Distilled Vengeance™) just beat the daylight out of the guy.

Back at the Watchtower Zatanna takes a good look at the pair and thankfully knows just the spell to put them back together. The problem is that all identities need to be present and WANT to fuse back together. Batman and Brucie do NOT want to fuse back.

Batman, because he sees Brucie as everything he hates about high society and honestly, thinks he is far more off without having to waste time doing the whole playboy billionaire schtick.

Brucie is in quite a similar situation. He'd truly rather go and have fun than to be bound to the guy who keeps breaking his/their bones. And even so, Bruce(the whole) always had a ridiculous amount of self loathing, it's no surprise that the isolated parts of the guy would fight each other on sight.

Anyway, the Leagues and the Batfam let them have their spats for a day or two. At first it was pretty funny to see how differently the two personas are but now they can't stand either one of them anymore.

The Bat is too serious, patrols are a nightmare for the kids and the League have never missed Bruce's dry sense of humor and subtle care more than now. And Brucie while far more emotionally adept than before, doesn't have the fatherly and calm side in him either and is so cheerful and relaxed that it gives everyone the creeps.

Long story short is that they all finally convince the two to fuse back. But when Zatanna is about to do her thing it somehow malfunctions and Brucie and Bat's start fighting again. During that Batman insults Brucie's intelligent which escalates the entire thing

"How could you know I'm stupid? I You never spend time with me, or anyone for that matter, since no one can stand being near you!", is Brucie's response, because he's had enough of the man who won't even take off the cowl now since he sees no need for it.

"The reason I know you are that mentally deprived is because you were MADE to be so. You only exist because of me.", which is kinda true and they both know it. They both also know that he said it just to be hurtful.

Which is why Brucie responds with, "If I'm really that stupid then how come I'm the only one that noticed that both Matches and B are missing for the spell to work!"

...

And that is how Brucie and Batman have to work together to find a Matches Malone who's more knowledgeable than Batman when it comes to navigating the underground and a mysterious 'B', who is apparently made out of all the moments between the masks and outside of them.

[chriiiiix]

imagine Bruce using his Matches Malone persona to infiltrate a big party in which many crime lords will be, and not so surprising, but the Red Hood is there, and he is staring directly at Bruce's eyes (He doesn't know Red Hood is Jason yet) and laughing, Bruce just knows that under that helmet he is smiling, and Bruce knows he knows, he doesn't know how but somehow this annoying new crime lord recognized him in a second even with his disguise. He is panicking, Hood will for sure reveal his lie in the middle of all those villains, except he doesn't. Actually, it looks like he is having a lot of fun watching Bruce being alert and anxious. The party ends, Red Hood puts an arm around his shoulders and walking with him to the exit, up close he realizes how big he really is, he is almost the same size as him, just two or three inches shorter. And then the distorted voice practically whisper in his ears "I wated to see how far you could go, really impressive! I love watching you work you know?" and leaves.

Bruce comes back home confused and with seven new theories of wtf is this guy on about

[tauremornalome]

"gordon figures out bruce wayne is batman" been there, done that. a classic

"gordon figures out matches malone is batman" fresh. comedic potential off the charts

"gordon figures out bruce wayne is matches malone" please this would be so fucking funny