#This could be an incorrect quote probably

[buthearmeouttho]

my internet history is a dangerous place but anyway you can live without six of your ribs.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[cherries-and-knives]

Matthias: *has one Unholy™️ thought about nina*

Matthias to himself: TAKE A WALK YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE. AND WHILE YOUR AT IT YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUMP IN A RIVER YOU SLUT.

[wakkoroni]

Batfam Incorrect Quotes/Scripts: pt 20!

Tim, getting ready for patrol: I bet you can’t go through the entire patrol walking on your hands

Dick: probably not… I can try though

Bruce, sighing: Tim, why would you do that? You know Dick can’t back down from a challenge

Tim, shrugging: things were getting boring around here. I had to spice things up somehow

—

Throughout patrol

Riddler: Riddle me this- wtf are you doing?

Nightwing: 🤸‍♀️

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick: Bruce you fucked the daughter of the demon head.

Bruce: She wasn’t the daughter of the demon head when I fucked her.

Dick: Yes she was!

Bruce: Well… he wasn’t as bad?

[ratcandy]

had a conversation with my mom and now i'm curious

If unsure, go grab yourself a pencil and compare to these examples:

"Correct" ways to hold a pencil:

(if you didn't know there were names for these, yea I had no idea either until I started looking stuff up lmao)

"Wrong" ways to hold a pencil:

I'm mostly curious as someone who has always held her pencil wrong. No matter what teachers/my mom ever did to try and teach me (pencil grips, elastic bands, etc) it just never worked. I wanna know how universal this experience is hdKJH

(rb for sample size, etc etc, the usual)

[demigod-shenanigans]

A demigod who comes by the Waystation and needs their magic item fixed: I’m looking for Valdez?

Jason: Here

Demigod: …the other Valdez

Sofía: Here!

Demigod: …the one who can actually fix my magic item?

Sofía: *pouting* you didn’t even let us try

[cod-dump]

*on a mission after Christmas*

Alex: Hey, Price. Do you have any normal peppermint candy canes instead of these fruity ones?

Price: Nope, can’t risk it. Ghost likes to sharpen them into shivs and stab people who need to “Cheer the fuck up”. I’ve learned he won’t do that with these because he doesn’t like the taste

Alex:

Alex: Seriously?

Price: Let me tell you, Keller. With enough force, they do break skin. It fucking hurts

Alex: Oh my god… and I have to share a room with him

[aficionadoenthusiast]

penelope: see that wedding bed? could you carry it over? lift it high on your shoulders and take it far away from here

ares, watching on olympus with the other guards and a mouthful of popcorn: ha, as if a mortal man could lift a whole bed over their head, let alone carry it!

odysseus: how could you say this? i had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat. carved it into the olive tree where we first met. a symbol of our love everlasting. do you realize what you have asked me? the only way to move it is to cut it from its roots

ares:

ares: oh shit

penelope: only my husband knew that, so i guess that makes him you!

ares: oh shit!

[bcb-brian-camryn]

Aias [Telamonian]: "You think you can take on Patroklos?"

Akhilleus: "Do I think I can take on Patroklos? I mean yeah, he's not that big." 😇

Aias [Telamonian]: "No, cousin, I meant at a Pankration." 🤨

Achilles: "Oh, that's a no then, he'd probably strangle me with his thighs until I pass out... Actually, on second thought I might just challenge him-" 😈

Aias [Telamonian]: "Achilles no-"

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Alastor: Did it hurt?

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, when I fell from heaven.

Alastor: Noooooo

Lucifer: *raises eyebrow*

Alastor: *grins wider* Did it hurt when you fell for me?

[straightouttherosebush]

"Right hand on the bible, God can strike me down if I'm lying-- THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S CHEATING!!!"

- Idia Shroud, probably.

[incorrect-all-for-the-game]

Nicky: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place!

Neil: You people already know too much about me.

Nicky: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Liu Qingge: One of your dislocated kids broke in and stole our practice swords!

Shen Jiu: Alright, tell me which one of my disciples it was so I know who’s allowance to raise.

[fireyhotsupertalia]

Alastor: How does one turn their emotions off?

Vox: ok well first you go to settings…

Vox: Oh, I’m a fucking idiot, I thought you said emojis at first

Alastor: no I’m still willing to try this, go ahead, I’m in setting, what do I do next?

[incorrect-upon-a-witchlight]

Kremy: what doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy