#This could be an incorrect quote probably

[buthearmeouttho]

my internet history is a dangerous place but anyway you can live without six of your ribs.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[cherries-and-knives]

Matthias: *has one Unholy™️ thought about nina*

Matthias to himself: TAKE A WALK YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE. AND WHILE YOUR AT IT YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUMP IN A RIVER YOU SLUT.

[wakkoroni]

Batfam Incorrect Quotes/Scripts: pt 20!

Tim, getting ready for patrol: I bet you can’t go through the entire patrol walking on your hands

Dick: probably not… I can try though

Bruce, sighing: Tim, why would you do that? You know Dick can’t back down from a challenge

Tim, shrugging: things were getting boring around here. I had to spice things up somehow

—

Throughout patrol

Riddler: Riddle me this- wtf are you doing?

Nightwing: 🤸‍♀️

[ratcandy]

had a conversation with my mom and now i'm curious

If unsure, go grab yourself a pencil and compare to these examples:

"Correct" ways to hold a pencil:

(if you didn't know there were names for these, yea I had no idea either until I started looking stuff up lmao)

"Wrong" ways to hold a pencil:

I'm mostly curious as someone who has always held her pencil wrong. No matter what teachers/my mom ever did to try and teach me (pencil grips, elastic bands, etc) it just never worked. I wanna know how universal this experience is hdKJH

(rb for sample size, etc etc, the usual)

[demigod-shenanigans]

A demigod who comes by the Waystation and needs their magic item fixed: I’m looking for Valdez?

Jason: Here

Demigod: …the other Valdez

Sofía: Here!

Demigod: …the one who can actually fix my magic item?

Sofía: *pouting* you didn’t even let us try

[cod-dump]

*on a mission after Christmas*

Alex: Hey, Price. Do you have any normal peppermint candy canes instead of these fruity ones?

Price: Nope, can’t risk it. Ghost likes to sharpen them into shivs and stab people who need to “Cheer the fuck up”. I’ve learned he won’t do that with these because he doesn’t like the taste

Alex:

Alex: Seriously?

Price: Let me tell you, Keller. With enough force, they do break skin. It fucking hurts

Alex: Oh my god… and I have to share a room with him

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Alastor: Did it hurt?

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, when I fell from heaven.

Alastor: Noooooo

Lucifer: *raises eyebrow*

Alastor: *grins wider* Did it hurt when you fell for me?

[incorrect-all-for-the-game]

Nicky: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place!

Neil: You people already know too much about me.

Nicky: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Liu Qingge: One of your dislocated kids broke in and stole our practice swords!

Shen Jiu: Alright, tell me which one of my disciples it was so I know who’s allowance to raise.

[fireyhotsupertalia]

Alastor: How does one turn their emotions off?

Vox: ok well first you go to settings…

Vox: Oh, I’m a fucking idiot, I thought you said emojis at first

Alastor: no I’m still willing to try this, go ahead, I’m in setting, what do I do next?

[incorrect-upon-a-witchlight]

Kremy: what doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[alienoresimagines]

Bucky: So you like cats? Buck: Yeah Bucky: *Slowly pushes a glass off the table while holding eye contact*

[thattheater-kid]

Ford at college: I bought pepper spray at the bookstore.

Stan: I didn’t know they had that at the bookstore. How much was it?

Ford: Twelve dollars.

Stan: When you run out you should refill it with piss.

Ford:

Stan: Pisser spray.

[aaandbackstabbed]

Goldie: please don’t be dead

Goldie: please don’t be dead

Goldie: please don’t be dead

Scrooge: I’m alive!

Goldie, punching Scrooge repeatedly on the arm: I am going to kill you!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

ROSE: Well, Dave, I made it, in spite of your directions. DAVE: ah rose DAVE: welcome DAVE: hope youre prepared for an unforgettable luncheon ROSE: Eh.

DAVE: aw fuck DAVE: my roast is ruined DAVE: but what if i bought fast food and disguised it as my own DAVE: delightfully devilish dave ROSE: Huh?

Dave Strider, with his crazy explanations The Seer of Lights's gonna need her medication When she hears Strider's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!

ROSE: Dave? DAVE: rose! DAVE: i was just uh DAVE: stretching my calves on the windowsill DAVE: isometric exercise DAVE: care to join me ROSE: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Dave? DAVE: uh DAVE: that isnt smoke DAVE: its uh DAVE: steam DAVE: steam from the steamed clams were having DAVE: mmm steamed clams ROSE: ???

DAVE: rose my dear sister i hope youre ready for mouthwatering hamburgers DAVE: watering your mouth so much its like theyre a gardener and your mouth is a flowerbed DAVE: thats how much they be watering ROSE: I thought we were having "steamed clams". DAVE: oh no i said steamed hams DAVE: thats what i call hamburgers ROSE: You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'? DAVE: yeah DAVE: its a regional dialect ROSE: Uh-huh. What region? DAVE: uh DAVE: upstate new york ROSE: Really? Well, I'm from Rainbow Falls, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams". DAVE: oh not in rainbow falls DAVE: its an albany expression ROSE: How would you know? You're Texan. DAVE: whatever

ROSE: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Burger King. DAVE: oh absolutely not DAVE: patented strider burgers DAVE: old family recipe ROSE: For steamed hams? DAVE: Yes. ROSE: So you call them steamed hams, in spite of the fact they are obviously grilled. DAVE: uh DAVE: you know DAVE: one thing i should DAVE: excuse me for one second ROSE: Ah, of course.

DAVE: [pretends to yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. DAVE: well that was wonderful DAVE: a good time was had by all ROSE: I should- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THERE!? DAVE: aurora borealis ROSE: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? This time of day? This part of the country? Localised entirely within your kitchen!? DAVE: yes ROSE: Okay, may I see it? DAVE: no

JADE: DAVE!!! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!! DAVE: no jade its just the northern lights ROSE: Well, Dave, something is seriously fucking wrong with you, but... DAVE: i steam a good ham? ROSE: No, Dave, you bought fast food and burnt the house down. But this sure was an "unforgettable luncheon". JADE: HEEELP!!! HEEEELP!!!