shit-people-probably-didnt-say

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Kaz: Got it?

Jesper: Got it

Jespers brain: Got what?

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

I just saw someone use Hannibal as a verb ‘Imagine getting attached to a character and then they get Hannibaled’

Crying I am 100% adding Hannibaled to my vocabulary 😭

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When will we talk about how Kaz lost a bet with Wylan

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Istg if I ever get murdered and they let my diary be read out in my true crime docuseries I will haunt EVERYONE

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Wylan: Does anyone need a morning person because mine is for fucking sale

Jesper: Lets go, get up 😃

Wylan: Get away from me, its 7:30

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Inej: Why does Jesper look like he’s about to do something incredibly stupid? Kaz: Because he probably is. Jesper:holds up two guns It’s called a calculated risk. Inej: Who did the calculations? Jesper: Me.

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I had a deep fear as a child that one day we would run out of air but we wouldnt know it was our last breath until we couldnt take another…

So yeah, the general anxiety disorder diagnosis wasn’t a shock 😅

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today I saw a truck with the license plate VAN ECK and thought of you!

😮 the Van Eck truck!?

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Wylan: If it can't be fixed with a nap, sex, or food, then I am all out of ideas

Kaz: Kruge?

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Apples been chasing me for that 8.99 for 3 months now so these sly buggers took it from my account at 5am on payday

You win this round Apple

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Wylan: Im not built for anyone sensitive. I don’t listen, I talk back and sarcasm is my first language

Jesper: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

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What are communities and how do I get them off my dash

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Wylan: Its weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the world and that daytime is only caused by a nearby radiating ball of gas in a constant state of nuclear fusion

Jesper: Dont fuck me up like this

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🤣🤣 Klaus’ impromptu lobster tank haunting you

Teen!Klaus: I’m sorry I filled your car with water and turned it into a lobster tank…

Reginald: *Actually speechless*

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The crows as things my friends have said

Kaz

"He d!ed about as much as average people."

"I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't feel like I can hand the power over to someone else."

"They weren't humans, they were employees."

Inej

"We can experiment with other ways to hold someone at knifepoint."

"I like it when they shut up, most of all."

"I am sorry for everything we have done. More is to come."

Jesper

"Honestly, if your body isn't totally destroyed when you're 80, have you truly lived?"

"Where is this world heading if you can't even get a flutist at your own funeral?"

"I lose money every second I'm here."

Wylan

"I'm okay with googling human density, but I will not google human boiling point."

"Is it assault to throw flour at someone?"

"But how the heck are we going to hide the gold inside the scientist?"

Nina

"I wish I had friends, but I only have waffles, unfortunately."

"It went well. I felt annoying today."

"If you find chips, eat them. That is my life policy."

Matthias

"My childhood, it was… it started when I was born."

"How's it going, scammerboy?"

"Kings are humans too, just worth a bit more."

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Mathias: Are you mad? Inej: No. Mathias: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

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Wylan: Every day is April fools when you’re attracted to men

Nina: Well women do exist

Wylan: *Cackles*