#tua shitpost

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Five: He died doing what he loved. Walking into traffic while saying “pedestrians have right of way”

Klaus: *Resurrects* WE DO!

[ambrosia-ghostie]

four things i never thought would trigger me:

[starboyyspeakss]

back to our regularly scheduled programming‼️ may i present you :

TUA text posts

[werewolfesam]

TUA as textposts but it's 100% accurate because I'm always right

[ghysry]

[How that damn train scene could've worked]

Reader walks into the restaurant that has way too many Fives.

All versions of Five look at Reader with their eyes wide and some even dropping their food.

Reader: I am a gazelle.

All fives cheer.

[hopelessheqrts]

no thoughts just klaus stopping to get his cowboy hat

[your-favorite-bean]

Reginald: If klaus jumped off a cliff would you too.

Diego: hey man, I’m a leader, not a follower

Reginald: good. Because it’s important not to blindly follow—

Diego: I’m jumping off the cliff first.

[lila-pitts-apologist]

rip alphonso you were a real one

[distracted-milkshake]

[gayraccoonthing]

Okay but this would be Klaus. I'm right, I know I am.

[rubber-ducksss]

AU where everything is the same but Five tries to find the owner of the glass eye by checking everyone’s eye for a match Cinderella style

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Reginald: I dont care if you’re neuron divergent I need you to save the Eiffel Tower

[five-hargreeves-apologist]

Me: *muffled from the other room* HEY,YOUWANNAMAKEOUT?!

Five: *panicking slightly* WHAT???!!!

Me: *poking my head in the room* you want takeout? I'm hungry.

Five: oh- yeah, yeah sounds good.

Me: and while we wait for food, we can makeout on the couch!

Five: *dies inside*

[starboyyspeakss]

i miss klaus hargreeves, so much it physically pains me. i miss my skirt stealing,eyeliner wearing,ghost seeing,cult leading diva.

[werewolfesam]

TUA as textposts but it's 100% accurate because I'm always right pt 2

[ghysry]

Does anyone else think that maybe the reason Brisket Five always "wrecks shit" is because back in his original timeline he was even worse of a trouble kid and would always find joy in pranking his siblings, like watching their faces twist when they realize this was definitely his doing. Does anyone else think he does it because he misses his siblings? Does anyone else think he kind of sees his siblings in the alternate version of Five's (even if that's weird) and enjoys pranking them because they react just like how his siblings would?? Does anyone else think about how tragic he could be?? Why??

Why brisket five?? Why?