#Like I'm chaotic
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Everytime I enter my room I turn to my altars and go "honey guess whos back from jailll"
#helpol#hellenic deities#aphrodite devotee#athena devotee#hermes devotee#hestia devotee#hellenism#I think they are done with me#Like I'm chaotic
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
----
Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
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Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
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Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss off Bruce-
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[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
#Jason (disappointedly): you either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become a hero#Dick: we have so much to catch up on! anyways so Tim became Robin and I'm a cop in Bludha-#Jason (incredibly distraught): YOURE A COP??!?#Jason to tim: Alright looks like I have to be the one to pass on Dick's legacy now LISTEN HERE-#ok but seriously Tim is already insane on his own. kid didn't need dick's guidance at all. he's just like that#imagine the chaotic older brother u grew up with turned out to be a cop id literally throw up#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#robin!jason#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#bruce wayne#batman#dc#incorrect quotes#crack#fanatical asks#fanatical posting
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I know those eyes.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#Sibling similarity but you only see it when you realize they have the same soggy eyes.#These two always struck me as a bit of a play on Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli for 'siblings who contrast each other.#But after spending a lot more time marinating on Wen Ning I actually think they are way more similar that is initially apparent.#Sure their surface level personality traits are pretty contrastive. But they both are so willing to risk their lives for what's right#Who raised them? In a story so full of examples of how parents shape their children - why are these two lacking in parents?#I imagine that Wen Qing is the older sibling and so her morals of 'help those who need it no matter who they are' got passed a long.#But how did *she* arrive there? Was that instilled within her or was it a reaction against bearing witness to callousness and cruelty?#We'll never know..the only thing I can say for certain is Wen Qing is *so* soggy in the audio drama.#She's like the ant with the bindle. It's a hell of a way to bring a previously sharp tongued character back into the narritive.#Side note: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while I took my break!#It's been a very chaotic few weeks and I didn't realize how bad my burnout was getting. I'm back and ready to keep drawing again!
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Lucifer: "Mc what are you doing?"
Mc: "nothing."
Lucifer: ...
Lucifer: "Beel, explain."
Beel: "They asked to sit on my shoulders to be tall."
Lucifer: "I see now. And why is it that you wanted to be tall Mc?"
Mc: "A strange innate desire for height and the high ground."
Lucifer: 😑
Lucifer: "And you agreed to this why Beel?"
Beel: "They made me food." 🥺
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me!#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me beelzebub#Lucifer is questioning his and his brothers' taste in partners#But only for a moment though#He loves Mc too much#And we/they love him#Chaotic gremlin Mc is my favorite Mc#My mind will not be changed about that#Anyone else have moments of wanting to be on higher ground just cause#no just me?#Hmm maybe I'm just weird like that#And that'd okay#obey me brothers#obey me gn!mc#obey me gn!reader#obey me swd#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me x gender neutral reader#obey me x you#obey me x y/n#idk what else to tag#obey me shitpost#obey me shenanigans#obey me random
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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The teams are set for the biannual venator-wide mousedroid races. The others don't stand a chance against team FivesWalker, everyone's knees and ankles will soon be in danger!
For Amina from @fanfictasia who asked for Anakin and Fives getting up to shenanigans for @vaderkin-is-a-lightning-rod 's Vaderkin 2024 Creative Exchange :3
#anakin skywalker#fives#arc trooper fives#clone trooper fives#tcw fives#anakin#star wars fanart#tcw fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#sw tcw#vaderkin creative exchange#they are building the stabbiest shootiest and snappiest little mousedroid#the background is its own character here and was the most fun part to make#will I ever draw the clones' blacks the same? unlikely but I like this iteration best so far#I'm not much for angst so I hope this properly fulfills the Anakin and Fives being chaotic besties prompt ^^
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best friend day but it's my #1 hater
#messyr#posting this for him#he was a big fukin bully back in highschool and i was the only person who he cant get through bc i take no shit n fight back#turns out- he actually has a heart so i helped him out. the rest is history#the type of chaotic duo who bickers and fights but will destroy the world just to save the one another#been there w me for almost 10 years now and honestly- he's like family to me along the other bois (circle of friends) LMAO#this circle is very few and the only friends I have aside classmates in college lol- I'm very much its... leader? mom friend type-a thing A#doodle#artists on tumblr
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Mobius and his chaotic puppy God.
But don't worry, he doesn't bite.
#loki series#loki show#loki season one#loki season 2#loki s2#loki tv#loki laufeyson#loki#mobius m mobius#mobius#lokius#lokiusedit#tom hiddleston#owen wilson#mobius and his chaotic pet#i'm sorry but it's so funny#the face mobius makes when brad tells him to 'control his pet' is literally the face of every person who has a dangerous dog and knows it#like 'yeah he don't bite bro' and then 'unless I say so' while smiling maniacally#dingogifs#softiedingo
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Rage Form
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#sora#rage form#arendelle#formchange#my gif#rage form is so intriguing#sora still behaves in a wild animalistic fashion similar to his anti form but it's different#anti form felt as if he relinquished all self control and acted strictly on instinct just like a heartless#he used to run around hunched over on all fours and fight tooth and claw with reckless abandon#but here you can at least see SOME semblance of who he is. he's able to wield his keyblade while in this form which is pretty major#he still fights in an absolutely chaotic and primal manner but it feels evolved#the big difference is you call upon rage form at will. he channels his rage and darkness in a desperate last resort to stay alive#which is very significant but he still loses some control like the ability to use of magic; items; shotlocks; etc#it's cool to see darkness used in this way but i really want sora to able to explore themes of darkness within himself in future games#i want these to be more than cool forms with fun gameplay. i want them to have implications that something dark is brewing and needs to be-#brought to the surface and tackled head on because we've never seen anyone capable of cloaking themselves in darkness in such a way#take riku's dark form for example. he's in control and he's very much still himself. it's entirely different#on another note i'm now thinking about how hp is fully restored when activating rage form but you have the choice to give it up again-#when using risk charge. it'll increase attack damage but you're still walking a dangerous line in the pursuit of power
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The bro's be bro-ing
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt raphael#raph tmnt#casey jones#tmnt casey jones#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2007#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2018#rottmnt#Casey and raph are a peak chaotic duo#I do not love casey in bayverse tho - he a bit of a dumbass and not in the good way#I also don't think raph and casey in 1987 would work :/#But rottmnt needed more casey! Especially more casey and raph! (And I'm not talking about the future boy!)#yes i did edit raph and casey together from rottmnt cause there r like no frames where they r!#if anyone can find one plz show said screenshot lmao
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Clone^2 - Separation Strikes
"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.
His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.
Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.
And it was summer; Damian starts today.
"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."
Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.
"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"
"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."
Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.
Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.
Danny just...
His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.
He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.
Not like he was.
Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.
He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.
Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.
His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.
(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)
Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"
He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.
Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.
He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.
Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."
"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.
Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?
He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."
Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"
Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.
And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.
His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."
Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"
That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"
Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.
"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."
Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.
"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."
Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc fic#dpxdc ficlet#clone^2#clone danny fenton#MAN I LOVE THIS AU SM#clone danny#danny fenton is a clone#i lomv. them :((( SO MUCH. I'VE MISSED WRITING THEM. i had this idea since talking to purple-goo-writes abt clone danny last week#they mean everything to me. they are the brothers ever. so family coded. don't ask me about the timeline here it doesnt exist#its post-danny's hands getting permanently fucked up and thats it lol.#parent danny is great but 'big brother danny' is SO fucking fun to write. he's silly and goofy and annoying in the way only siblings are#smth about writing danny being so full of love and kindness and protective compassion. bleeding heart that he is. its like doing cocaine#chaotic danny is SO fun and silly but kIND danny is. holy shit its better than getting high. altho ive never been high so i can only guess#there's just smth addictive in writing him being affectionate and loving and caring. he's heartful and heart full.#he's sweet - not like sugar - but like caramel. fulfilling and chewy. a kindness that gets stuck in your teeth and melts on your tongue#he's such an annoying older brother. i love him#bal mithai is a type of pakistani dessert btw. since Nanda Parbat is based off the mountain nanga parbat which is in pakistan. i figured#that the food damian had in the league might've been pakistani-based. or at least heavily pakistani in orign. maybe. i just didn't wanna#look up 'arabic desserts' and pick the first one off the list. felt inauthentic that way alsdh#translations since you wont get it through google translate:#1. 'are you nervous beloved?' 2. 'no! I am not nervous!' 3. 'I'm not everyone' 4. 'let me go brother!'#while i dont usually use 'little brother' or 'brother' as terms of endearments between siblings. Jazz canonically calls Danny that and#i figured if i worded it in a way that sounded natural. it would sound less soul-crushingly cringy. look as someone wit THREE siblings.#i know exactly how siblings interact with one another. but this felt like a special exception. they don't say it often
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The fandom god discussion is interesting, but I feel it’s sometimes hindered by an unwillingness to separate gods from mortal society, or even a sort of over-eagerness to project our own reality onto them, which simply doesn’t work. I've seen the gods referred to as rulers or tyrants demanding worship (which I kinda understand because it’s something Ludinus says in-game, though it’s funny to see fandom corners confidently repeat the inaccurate talking points of the antagonist) but more interestingly I've also seen them referred to as a higher/the highest social class, as colonizers imposing themselves on mortals, the raven queen specifically as new money. Overall these comparisons tend to talk about the gods and their actions regarding Aeor in the past and predathos/the Vanguard in the present less as if they're about saving their own lives and more as if they want to preserve their powerful position.
The gods, by their very nature, are above mortals. They cannot be compared to any mortal ruling class because they didn’t choose or strive for that power and cannot feasibly get rid of it/step down/redistribute it (nor do they actually in any sense rule; killing the raven queen, unlike killing an actual queen, will not end the 'tyranny' of death), they simply have it by virtue of being gods. Saying that’s unfair or unequal and that the gods should be killed because of it is akin to saying it’s unfair a mountain is bigger than you and demanding it be levelled, except the gods, unlike mountains, are living, feeling beings who shouldn’t have to die because some people can’t stand the idea of not always being top dog. Thing is, the gods themselves ultimately understood this power imballance and that they can't help but hurt Exandria the way humans can't help but step on bugs, and thus removed themselves from the equation by creating the divine gate. Saying this isn’t enough and that they're clinging to power is just demanding they line themselves up to be killed.
#critical role#cr3#downfall#nella talks cr#ultimately all these 'ruling class' comparisons are simply flawed and don’t work when under the slightest bit of scrutiny#gods arent rulers or tyrants bc they don’t rule and can't be deposed#they are representantations and guardians of (mostly natural) concepts#and those concepts won’t go away bc you killed the gods. death and nature and the fucking sun will still remain#they aren’t colonizers of mortals (wtf lmao) who demand they be worshiped and mortals live according to their oppressive rule#again did you watch calamity? not even before the divine gate did the gods demand worship or even respect#they were never less respected than during the age of arcanum and still they were just chilling#(until someone released the betrayers and they had to step in to stop the ultimate destruction of exandria)#technically you could argue they were colonizers against the titans but even that feels like a stretch#the titans to me feel less like people and more like representations of the chaotic and deathly side of nature#being angry they were killed sounds like being angry someone stopped a hurricane just bc the hurricane was there first#I'm sorry but that hurricane would've flattened you. it wouldn’t appreciate your support bc it isn't a person#and 'a higher social class' fucking NEW MONEY? this is just blatant projection#I'm sorry but not everything more powerful than you is a stand in for oppression#sometimes it’s a narrative stand in for nature and i promise nature isn't oppressing you
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Why are you running?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jin zixuan#The ship between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli is yuri. To me.#That whole tearful public confession? The way he immediately runs off? Yuriful.#Everyone going 'oh my god what' and 'hey why are you running off???' makes this chaotic scene even funnier.#He's going to just hide behind a tree a few meters away. They can still see his little hat poking out as he cries.#If I was JYL I would have started biting someone.#What do you *mean* the guy you once had feelings for but treated you poorly now says he likes you? What do you do with that information?#Is it character development? Is it worth letting your heart open up again? Is it a mistake to be vulnerable like that?#Not enough credit is given to the internal torment of shijie.#It really does feel like your world is spinning around when someone you did not expect to confess *does*.#This guy has a LOT to make up for though. I wouldn't take him back but I'm also too rational for my own good at times.
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I can't tell if this is the best team up or the worst.
#also I hope you guys like it I spent an ungodly amount of time doing this#the two most chaotic entities in the school?#I'm surprised this is all they're doing#twst#is my art#lilia vanrouge#floyd leech
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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“I tell my piano the things I used to tell you.” – Chopin
#piano#actual loml#art#mb#moodboard#chopin#classical music#ph#chaotic academia#the love i have for my piano is so real#like that's the light of my life that's all i need i could have a head full of questions#and it has a all the answers to all the questions in those same keys#i'm rambling atp but i just love it idk#dark academia#light academia#academia aesthetic#dark acadamia aesthetic#classic academia#my sweet piano#aesthetic moodboard
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