#Side note: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while I took my break!

[jessesluvr]

hellooooo first of all thank u for feeding us Jesses girlies i love u pls don’t go bald 🩷

can u write something about Jesse and reader having like a private/secret relationship and Ellie and Dina trying to figure it out till they find them plsss

operation: lovebirds | jesse x reader

author's note : hiiii ! hope you all are well ! thank you for being so patient while i do requests. you guys are the best <3. love you all ! take care of yourselves. ps. i wont go bald i promise and i am SOOOO sorry it took forever for this to come out, it's just been marinating in my drafts.

summary : ellie and dina are determined to uncover your secret relationship with jesse, convinced you're sneaking around behind everyone’s backs. what starts as a ridiculous trap turns into a hilarious game of cat-and-mouse—until you and jesse finally decide to end the charade with a kiss that shuts them both up for good.

word count : 2.7k

you never intended for it to be a secret. not really. but the way things worked out, it just kind of... happened. one minute you were just casually hanging out with jesse, swapping jokes over a late patrol shift or sharing food by the fire, and the next thing you knew, you were sneaking glances at each other across the room, sharing touches that lingered just a little too long, and hiding smiles when no one else was looking. it was easy, and it was comforting, and it felt like a little private world that only the two of you belonged to.

except, well, jackson was small, and people noticed things. especially ellie and dina.

they had always joked about how close you and jesse were. “like twins, honestly,” dina once said, smirking when the two of you had finished a patrol early and were sitting side by side on the porch, sharing a blanket and passing around some of maria’s homemade jerky.

ellie had rolled her eyes, but there was a spark in her gaze — one that didn’t miss a thing. she watched the way jesse’s eyes softened when you laughed, the subtle way you reached for his hand when you thought no one was looking. it was too obvious to miss.

so ellie and dina made it their mission to figure it out. they weren’t sure if you and jesse were actually dating, or just really good friends. the problem was, you and jesse were good at keeping things under wraps. not sneaky or secretive on purpose, just careful, guarded maybe, with knowing smiles and quiet moments that didn’t spill over in front of others.

one afternoon, the two of them cornered you while you were washing laundry by the river. “hey, so,” ellie said, a teasing grin playing on her lips. “you and jesse. what’s the deal?”

you blinked, almost dropping the bucket of water. “deal?” you echoed, trying to keep your voice casual. “what deal?”

dina folded her arms, leaning against a tree with an eyebrow raised. “you know, the one where you act like you’re just friends but also like you’re in some kind of lowkey secret club?”

you laughed, trying to deflect. “i don’t know what you mean.”

ellie gave you a look. “come on, you don’t have to lie. we’re just curious.”

“i’m not lying,” you insisted, though your heart was pounding.

“hmm,” dina said thoughtfully, “okay. if you’re not lying, then explain why jesse keeps disappearing when we come around.”

you bit your lip, then shrugged. “maybe he’s just avoiding patrol duties.”

ellie exchanged a look with dina. “yeah, sure. and maybe the moon’s made of cheese.”

the two of them giggled like kids, then ellie added, “seriously, you two are way too subtle for your own good.”

you sighed. “fine, maybe we’re seeing each other.”

dina’s eyes lit up. “finally.”

ellie smirked. “told you.”

“but it’s not like we’re shouting it from the rooftops or anything,” you warned. “we like having this little secret. it’s nice.”

“yeah, but we’re going to find a way to catch you guys,” ellie said, clearly amused. “we’re not letting this go.”

and so it began. the sneaky missions, the secret stakeouts, the endless teasing from dina and ellie who weren’t going to let you keep this under wraps for long.

one evening, you and jesse were out by the old watchtower, the sun setting behind the mountains, casting everything in that warm golden glow you both liked. he took your hand, fingers weaving with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“we really should be more careful,” you murmured, leaning your head on his shoulder.

jesse chuckled softly. “nah. this feels good. like it’s just us.”

“that’s the point,” you smiled. “but those two—”

jesse groaned. “ellie and dina. they’re like bloodhounds.”

you laughed, “yeah. i swear, if they catch us, they’ll never let us live it down.”

jesse tightened his grip on your hand. “let them try.”

ellie and dina weren’t subtle about it. not that they cared to be. they’d taken to what they called “operation find out what’s going on with you and jesse,” which mostly meant following you around at a distance, hiding behind trees, or pretending to do chores just a little too close to wherever you and jesse happened to be.

one afternoon, you and jesse were fixing up an old motorcycle by the edge of town. the sun was hot, sweat dripping down your backs as you worked side by side, passing tools and stealing glances. jesse’s hand brushed yours once or twice, a silent question in the way his eyes met yours.

just then, you caught movement in the bushes. peeked your head up and saw ellie crouched behind a fallen log, binoculars glued to her face. dina was a little further back, trying unsuccessfully to blend in with a pile of firewood, her bright purple scarf sticking out like a sore thumb.

you rolled your eyes and whispered, “the spies.”

jesse smirked, “guess we’ve got company.”

instead of hiding or pretending not to notice, you grabbed a rag, wiped your greasy hands, and sauntered toward the bushes with jesse right behind you, exchanging knowing looks. “hey,” you called out cheerfully, “want to learn how to fix a bike? it’s not as hard as it looks.”

ellie blinked, caught off guard. “uh, no thanks.”

“come on,” you insisted, “we’ll make a mechanic out of you yet. plus, jesse says he’ll let you take it for a spin if you’re good.”

dina shifted awkwardly, clearly not expecting an invitation. you gave her a cheeky grin and beckoned with your finger.

ellie and dina exchanged a glance, then slowly got up, brushing dirt off their clothes. “alright,” ellie said reluctantly, “but only so we can prove you two are up to no good.”

you led them back to the motorcycle, and jesse handed ellie a wrench with a grin. “start here. it’s just loosening these bolts.”

ellie frowned, awkward but trying to play along. dina hovered nearby, giggling when jesse whispered something in your ear that made you smirk.

as the “lesson” went on, you noticed ellie’s eyes flickering between jesse and you every few seconds, clearly trying to read the unspoken between you two. dina was more obvious — she kept nudging ellie and whispering, “see? they’re totally into each other.”

you and jesse shared a look and decided to have a little fun. when ellie wasn’t paying attention, jesse lightly bumped your hand with his, causing you to drop the wrench near her foot. you both caught each other’s eyes and grinned, like kids caught in the act.

ellie caught the look and huffed, “okay, you two are definitely messing with us.”

dina laughed, “yeah, what are you hiding?”

jesse shrugged innocently. “just a couple of friends fixing a bike.”

you added, “the best kind of friends.”

ellie narrowed her eyes but said nothing more. as they left, you heard dina mutter, “we’re going to crack this one day.”

after they disappeared around the corner, you and jesse burst out laughing. “they’re relentless,” you said.

jesse smiled, tugging your hand gently. “i don’t mind, though. it’s kinda nice, having them so interested.”

“yeah,” you said softly, leaning into him. “it makes it feel real.”

“don’t worry,” jesse whispered, “our secret’s safe. at least for now.”

it started with a note under your door.

meet me by the greenhouse. 11. bring the blanket. – j

you smiled when you saw it, folding the paper and slipping it into your pocket like it was some kind of treasure map. you knew the spot — just beyond the old greenhouse, where the hill dipped into a field of overgrown wildflowers and tall grass. not many people wandered that way anymore, which made it perfect.

when you got there, jesse was already waiting, hands in his pockets, moonlight catching in his hair. he gave you that lopsided grin, the one that made your heart trip over itself a little.

“you brought it?” he asked.

you held up the blanket with a flourish. “obviously.”

“then come on,” he said, and took your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.

the two of you laid the blanket out beneath the stars, the air cool and still, the sound of cicadas buzzing in the distance. jesse brought a stolen jar of honeyed peaches, slightly squashed in his coat, and you laughed as he tried to open it with too much enthusiasm, the lid popping off with a satisfying plop and spraying juice onto his shirt.

“nailed it,” he said proudly, and you kissed his cheek in return.

you talked for hours. about stupid things. good things. small, safe things. like the way you used to sneak candy as a kid, or how jesse once tripped in front of maria and tried to play it off like he was stretching. he told you he used to have a crush on you even before you noticed him, back when you thought he was just “that guy who always smells like cedar.”

“i still do,” you teased, burying your face in his chest.

jesse tightened his arms around you. “i know.”

you didn’t want it to end. but eventually the sound of footsteps in the distance made you both freeze. low voices — unmistakable. ellie and dina. again.

you sat up quickly, heart racing. jesse immediately started folding the blanket, tossing the peach jar back into his coat.

“shit,” you whispered. “how the hell—”

“they must’ve followed us,” he hissed. “they’re getting better.”

you grabbed his hand, eyes darting toward the bushes lining the edge of the hill. “okay, we’ve got two options. hide… or run.”

“let’s hide,” he said. “running’ll just make us look more guilty.”

“we’re already guilty.”

“good point.”

you ducked low in the grass just as ellie’s voice rang out, distant but getting closer. “i swear they were out here.”

“we probably just missed them,” dina muttered. “again.”

“dammit,” ellie groaned. “i was sure this time.”

you clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter. jesse’s shoulder was shaking beside you, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned in and whispered, “they’re gonna go crazy if we keep this up.”

you turned to him, your noses almost touching. “is that a challenge?”

he grinned. “maybe.”

eventually, the footsteps faded, and you and jesse stayed hidden for a little longer, just in case. when you finally sat up, hair tangled and cheeks flushed, he reached out and tucked a piece behind your ear.

“you know,” he said, voice softer now, “i don’t mind keeping us quiet. i like having something that’s just ours.”

you nodded, fingers brushing his wrist. “me too. i just… i like how it feels when it’s just you and me.”

he kissed you. slow, sweet, with a kind of care that made the world feel far away. the kind of kiss that made you forget about everything else.

and when he pulled back, he said, “but someday, when we’re ready… i won’t mind showing everyone. not if it means they get to see how lucky i am.”

your heart fluttered. “jesse.”

he gave you that crooked smile again. “what? it’s true.”

it started with ellie barging into dina’s room, waving a crumpled map in the air like she’d just discovered buried treasure.

“i got it,” she said breathlessly. “i figured out how to catch them.”

dina didn’t even look up from where she was lying on her bed, flipping through a dog-eared comic. “ellie, you said that last week. and the week before. and the week before that.”

“yeah, but this time? this time it’s foolproof.”

“uh-huh.”

“swear to god. listen. jesse and (y/n) always end up disappearing around the same time. every tuesday. after dinner. and guess who’s conveniently off-duty tomorrow?”

dina sat up. “you’re serious.”

ellie grinned. “dead serious.”

the plan was ridiculous. childish. messy.

so obviously, they did it.

the next day, ellie left a forged note on your door that read:

urgent patrol reassignment – meet jesse at the west barn. –tommy

and she left a near-identical one for jesse:

urgent patrol reassignment – meet (y/n) at the west barn. –tommy

then, like the absolute menaces they were, ellie and dina set up in the hayloft of the barn, lying flat on their stomachs with snacks, binoculars, and smug determination.

“this is it,” ellie whispered, stuffing dried apple slices into her mouth. “tonight’s the night we expose the lovebirds.”

dina rolled her eyes. “god, i hope so. if i have to watch jesse pretend he’s not in love for one more second, i might scream.”

it wasn’t long before you showed up, confused and a little suspicious, holding the note in your hand. jesse arrived a few minutes later, looking equally wary.

“you got a note?” you asked.

“from tommy?” he raised a brow. “same.”

“…i think we’re being set up.”

“oh, 100%.”

you both turned toward the loft at the exact same time.

“should we—”

“—absolutely mess with them?” jesse finished, grinning.

you exchanged a look. it was war.

jesse grabbed your hand and tugged you toward the far end of the barn, just out of view from the loft. you leaned in, close enough that your laughter tickled his neck, and whispered something into his ear that made him turn red.

meanwhile, ellie was peeking through a crack in the wood.

“shit. they’re holding hands.”

“are they kissing?” dina demanded.

“not yet. but the vibes are very kiss-adjacent.”

in response, you and jesse leaned just into view. he gently cupped your cheek, angling your face toward his, but stopped right before your lips touched.

then, he pulled away.

again and again, you repeated this dance—leaning in, pausing dramatically, then walking off laughing. jesse would tuck your hair behind your ear or brush imaginary dirt from your shoulder, and you’d rest your hand on his chest a little too long. it was torture by almost-romance.

in the loft, dina groaned. “this is cruel.”

“they know we’re up here,” ellie muttered, jaw clenched. “they’re doing this on purpose.”

“they’re monsters.”

you and jesse eventually sat down beside a pile of hay, fully out of sight. you leaned against his side, giggling into his shirt. “you think they’re dying yet?”

“probably writhing in agony.”

“good.”

he kissed your forehead and whispered, “we’re the worst.”

you grinned. “they started it.”

after another few minutes of watching nothing happen, dina sighed and sat up. “okay. that’s it. i’m done.”

“wait, no—” ellie started, but it was too late. dina had already stood up, brushing hay off her jeans and hopping down from the loft with a dramatic thud.

you and jesse looked up just as she landed.

“alright, enough is enough,” dina said, hands on her hips. “we know. okay? we know.”

you raised your brows. “know what?”

“oh my god,” ellie groaned as she slid down behind her. “don’t play dumb. we’ve been onto you for weeks.”

jesse blinked innocently. “onto what, exactly?”

“you’re together!” ellie shouted. “secret relationship! sneaking around! the looks, the touching, the—you brought a blanket to the greenhouse, dude!”

you tried to look surprised. jesse bit back a laugh.

“okay,” you said slowly. “let’s say we were together. how would you know for sure?”

dina narrowed her eyes. “we wouldn’t.”

ellie crossed her arms. “not unless you, like, full-on made out in front of us right now.”

a beat.

jesse looked at you. you looked at him.

and then—because you were feeling dramatic, and maybe just a little victorious—you grabbed him by the collar and kissed him right there in front of both of them.

it wasn’t a small kiss. it wasn’t subtle. it was all hands and smiling and breathless laughter when you finally pulled apart.

ellie’s mouth fell open.

dina threw her hands up. “oh my god, finally!”

you leaned into jesse’s chest with a smug grin. “you happy now?”

ellie blinked. “honestly? yeah.”

“good,” jesse said, laughing. “because we were running out of ways to mess with you.”

dina groaned and collapsed into the hay. “this better be worth it.”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know those eyes.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Hi, a request where the reader is Dr. Robby's younger sister and the doctor's girlfriend of Frank langdon, I imagine the dynamic between the three of them being fun, and since I can't live without Angt, maybe one day the reader will show up because she had a serious accident. Thanks.

Family

main masterlist | the pitt masterlist

summary: robby’s sister is dating langdon… what could go wrong?

pairing: dr. frank langdon x female robinavitch!reader

rating: R for language and pitt type of blood

word count: 1.4k

warnings: pitt type of blood/heaviness, 

pairing note: the reader can be adopted or blood related, up to you <3

author’s note: thank you for the request!

You had started dating Langdon after you briefly met him through your brother. You had stopped by the hospital to drop off baked goods for the doctors and nurses when you first spoke to him.

Robby introduced you two, and he didn’t think much of the interaction, but Langdon was instantly smitten. He kicked himself for being so infatuated with his boss’s sister, but what could he say? You were drop dead gorgeous, and it didn’t hurt that you were a damn good baker too.

You worked about ten minutes from the hospital, so it wasn’t unheard of for you to drop by and say hello to your brother while dropping off food for him and his team. You owned a very well-liked cafe and would often bring over any extra food to The Pitt. 

When Langdon first saw you (and he would tell you this later on), he felt the calmest butterflies in his stomach. The kind you get when you see someone you want to be around all the time, and never get anxious while doing so. It was a new feeling for Landon, so who could blame him for falling head over heels in love with you by the fourth week of dating? 

You were quick to fall for him, too; it wasn’t a one-sided thing. If your brother hadn’t been so preoccupied with his work that first day, he would’ve been able to tell by the look in your eyes that you were falling for Langdon.

You weren’t sure which drew you in quicker: his jawline, chisled by the gods, or his bright blue eyes, blue as a wild ocean you could get lost in. Whatever it was, his kind heart and loving nature sealed the deal for you by date three. 

And by the time you both said your ‘I love you’s, you knew he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

**

“Coffee’s here!” you announced, walking into The Pitt with several cups of fresh coffee.

“Thank you,” Dana said, helping you put the coffee on the front desk counter. “I’ll let the team know.”

“Is Langdon around? I’d like to talk with him before I head back to our place,” you said.

“I think he’s helping a patient,” Dana said.

“I always have time for my girl,” Langdon interjected, coming from a patient’s room. He took off and tossed his disposable gloves as he walked up to you. “How are you?” He leaned in and kissed you quickly, not giving you a second to answer.

“Better now,” you said when he pulled away.

“What’s all this?” Robby asked, coming out of the same room Langdon was in and doing the same thing with his gloves.

“I brought coffee for you guys and the nurses.” You smiled at your brother.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do all that,” Robby said. “What’s the occasion?”

“Well, you already know this, but…” You held up your left hand and showed off a gorgeous engagement ring.

“We’re engaged!” Langdon exclaimed.

“No way!” Dana gasped. “Let me see the ring!” You held out your hand, palm down, so she could get a better look as the other nurses and doctors came rushing over to see what all the fuss was about.

“Ooh, I smell coffee,” Dr. McKay said as she came up behind Robby. When she saw the ring, she exclaimed, “Oh my god! Y/n!”

As the hour passed, more and more doctors and nurses congratulated you and Langdon when they got a chance. 

Before you left, after you said goodbye to your fiancé, your brother stopped to talk with you.

“You know, I couldn’t be happier for you and Frank,” he said.

“Thank you.” You smiled at him.

“You gonna be safe getting home? It’s raining pretty hard out there.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” you told him.

**

The shift was almost over, only two hours to go before Langdon could rush home to you.

“Car accident, woman in her early thirties, man in his late forties, six minutes out,” Robby was informed.

“Understood,” he said.

The last six minutes of peace that Langdon and Robby would have that day passed quickly before you were wheeled in on a stretcher.

“It’s…”

“…Y/n,” Robby finished Langdon’s sentence.

Langdon’s whole world stopped as Robby’s shoulders dropped.

“Pulse was weak, but we lost it,” the EMT doing chest compressions said.

“I-I,” Robby stuttered, completely frozen with fear. 

Dr. Collins and McKay had to step up and take over for him and Langdon. Collins replaced the EMT and started doing compressions.

She called out medical terms that you (had you been conscious) would never understand, but Langdon and Robby did. It meant there wasn’t much hope for you.

“Robby, Robby,” Langdon exclaimed, trying to get his attention. “W-We need to help her, we can’t just sit back and do nothing!”

“Y-Yeah,” Robby choked out.

Robby and Langdon started to help McKay and Collins, but quickly learned there was no use in their being there, they were both too shaken up to be of any help.

They instead both chose to help the other car accident victim (the driver of the other car), once you had a pulse and things were looking up.

**

Langdon and Robby’s shifts were over, they should’ve been going home. Langdon should’ve been in his car listening to your favorite music as he drove home to you. 

“How is she?” Langdon asked Dr. Abbott when he came out of your room. 

He simply shook his head, “It’s not looking good.”

“Give it to us straight, how bad is she?” Robby asked.

“Her pulse is very weak; she had a punctured lung, as you know, due to her broken ribs. What worries us the most is the head trauma; she has a pretty severe concussion from when her head hit the window. It could go either way at this point, there’s no way to really know yet. She could wake up and be okay, or–”

“She could not wake up,” Robby finished his sentence. “Oh my god.”

“No,” Langdon shook his head, “no! There must be something we can do, we can’t just…”

There was a beat of silence as they all just looked at each other, each of them hoping for the same thing.

“Oh, Langdon, here,” Abbot said and handed him a small container with your engagement ring. “We had to cut it off her broken finger.”

**

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was Langdon sleeping on the chair next to your bed. His head rested on his fist, his elbow rested on the arm of the chair. Soft snores escaped from between his lips as you smiled to yourself.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Langdon stirred awake, and his eyes opened wide when he saw you were awake.

“Oh my god,” he mumbled, and he stood up. He leaned down and kissed you quickly. “Thought I lost you for a minute there.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, babe,” you giggled as he pulled back. 

“I’ll go get Robby,” he said before he left the room. He came back with Robby in tow, who hurried to hug you as best he could.

“You had us really worried there, Y/n,” Robby said.

“How are the people in the other car?” you asked.

“He’s fine,” Langdon said, moving the chair closer so he could sit down and hold your hand at the same time. “His brakes gave out in the rain, that’s why he hit you.”

“I’m glad he’s okay,” you said.

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Robby added. 

“Besides the two casts, I feel fine,” you shrugged, referring to your left arm and left leg, both in casts. “Where’s the ring?” you asked when you realized you were no longer wearing it.

Langdon took the container out of his pocket, and your eyes welled up at the sight of your damaged ring. 

“Hey, what matters is you’re okay,” Langdon said when he noticed you were upset. “That’s all that matters.” He leaned in and kissed you, placing his hand on your cheek for added support. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you replied.

[cynosdaydream]

LOSER'S GAMBIT! - PART 3 (FINAL)

Learning to live is learning to let go.

Now playing: あのね - あれくん and Yuika

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

Word count: 3.7k

Author's note: WOWIE i can't believe I have written a full blown series. thank you for all the support that has been given to me while writing this, and I hope you enjoy the final part of loser's gambit!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 (you are here)

Desc: NOT proofread, sylus x f!nonmc!reader, mentions of zayne, zayne lowk regrets, emotional vulnerability, just soft stuff, tiniest smidge of hurt/comfort

You felt the cool air of the night hit your skin as you took off your helmet. Well, not your helmet, you thought, handing it back to the silver-haired man in front of you. "Here's your helmet." You said, patting it a few times to dust whatever dirt it might have accumulated on the ride home off. "Thank you, my dear. See, the ride home wasn't so dangerous, was it?" Sylus purrs. You roll your eyes, remembering how he might or might not have almost hit a pedestrian on the way to your house.

"Is it the new 'in' thing to call almost crashing into a civilian 'not so dangerous'?" You question, tilting your head to the side as you gingerly step off his motorcycle, careful not to strain any of your injuries. Sylus rolls his eyes, claiming, "He was wearing a completely black outfit in the dead of night. He should consider himself lucky I was only going 30 kilometers per hour for you."

The both of you converse and laugh on the way up to your apartment, and you must have laughed a little too hard, because you tripped over your own feet while chuckling at Sylus' lame attempt at a joke. You close your eyes, arms stretching out on instinct to brace your fall. And then you realised that you had also sustained wounds on your arms, and that this minor fall was going to make them hurt like a bitch. Sighing, you accepted your fate as the ground got closer and closer.

A hand catches you by the collar, and another grounds itself on your side, pulling you up gently. Sylus helps you back on your feet, shaking his head while his eyes scan your form for any more injuries sustained. However, instead of thanking him, his featherlight touch and concerned gestures make you remember his earlier 'confession', and you were now starkly aware that his hands were rolling up your sleeves to check if any wounds reopened.

Helpless, you opened your mouth to try and say something, anything -- but words of thanks felt like they were lodged in your throat as you watched Sylus frown at the sight of your bandaged arms. Finally, when he deemed you unhurt, he let go of your arms, and his eyes trailed up to meet yours. "I cannot stress this enough, dearest, but you need to be more careful." He pinches the bridge of his nose with a hand on his hip, and his frown slowly transformed into a mischievous grin. "Should I carry you the rest of the way up?"

The combination of the pet name and the suggestion of being carried princess style was flustering you to the maximum. But... if he was really going to be your boyfriend (was he already? technically not, right? since he said to wait patiently for a real confession. but he kind of confessed already! this is way too confusing...), you were willing to be a bit bolder. Ah, you missed someone caring about you like this. "I'm not that helpless." You state confidently, even though that was exactly how you were feeling, but for a completely different reason. "Maybe you should hold my hand, though. So, if I fall, I'm taking you down with me."

Afraid of possible rejection, you waste no time in swiftly slotting your hand in his, curling your fingers into the gaps between his. When you're turned away from embarrassment, Sylus smiles softly at you, inwardly relieved that you're comfortable enough with him to engage in these kinds of gestures. "Very bold of you to assume your weight would pull me down. It takes a lot more to bring me to my knees, you know." Sylus' silken voice cuts the air, and it only makes your face grow warmer at his suggestive tone. "You are genuinely so irritating. If we were in the 1940s, I would be throwing tomatoes at you right now." You huff, tugging him into the elevator with you.

You somehow make it to your living room without bursting into flames with how hot your face was, and you hastily dropped your whole weight down onto the couch. Your friend-boyfriend-whatever followed suit, but not before asking you whether you needed anything. "Water? A blanket? Snacks?" Sylus asked slowly, the slightest bit of concern in his voice. "Calm down, silly. You've only been to my house once and stayed in my living room the whole time. I doubt you'd know where I keep my blankets." You sigh, turning your head to look at him. "Just come closer." Maybe it was the fatigue from the whole wanderer-hospital ordeal, but you felt whatever hesitation or embarrassment melt away like ice thawing in the sun.

Sylus quirks his eyebrow at you, but doesn't say anything. He shifts closer to you, and carefully rests an arm on your shoulders, extremely careful not to touch your injured abdomen with his movements. After a few beats of shuffling around trying to get comfortable, he finally speaks. "Now, what does my darling wish to do?"

"Your darling wishes to watch a movie." You inform him casually, adding an afterthought, "And maybe a snack or two." The low rumble of your stomach reminded you that you hadn't had a proper meal since the wanderer attack. You get up from your seat to get a snack a little too quickly, accidentally straining the large wound on your abdomen. Wincing, your body is quickly forced back down onto the couch. Sylus' hands are there to ground you for the second time tonight, but this time he doesn't make any comment or playful jab about your mannerisms, and instead gets up to find the snacks himself.

You yelp in protest, telling him that you didn't want him to go through all the trouble of finding where the snacks were and picking out the ones you specifically wanted. Sylus merely tells you to stay put, saying, "I've navigated underground bases so complex it would make even the most skilled architect's head spin. I'm sure I'll be able to open a few cupboards and slide open a few drawers. Just give me a brief description of the tidbits you want and I'll find them for you."

After a few minutes of nodding and shaking your head, the both of you were settled down in the dim lighting of your living room, eyes fixated on the glowing screen in front of you. You don't know how Sylus managed to find out where you kept your blankets, but you didn't question it as the comforting warmth of the cotton made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

The flickering of the television before you and the warmth enveloping you eventually lulled you into a deep slumber, and you felt a ghost of a kiss upon your forehead before your eyelids fluttered shut.

"Sweet dreams, kitten."

Today was just one of those days where everything was just the slightest bit worse. The weather outside your window was bleak and dreary, with grey clouds masking the sun's brightness, but not heavy enough to bring rain. Your take-out lunch order had gotten delayed by an hour, leaving you grumpy and hungry in your home. To make matters worse, since you had only recently recovered from your injuries, you were only given stay-at-home work to do, or simple recon missions. And today was one of those days where you were stuck at home, mindlessly typing some passionless response to a corporate email.

Finally, to really top it all off, you had noticed a small box in the corner of your room that you must have forgotten to unpack when you moved in, only to find that it was filled with small trinkets that your previous boyfriend, Zayne, had gotten you when you were dating. I guess I wasn't ready to fully let him go when I moved in. At first, you didn't think much of it, preparing to throw it all out, but as you sorted through the mess of items and letters, a small part of your heart still ached. The keychains and charms were reminders of how Zayne had remembered small details about you, noting down your likes and dislikes. Every letter seemed so intricate, affirmations of affection written in his cursive doctor handwriting.

However, as you finished reading each note and finished running your fingers over each trinket and set them aside in neat stacks, you realised that your heart didn't throb painfully because you missed Zayne as a lover. Your heart throbbed because you missed being loved. You missed having someone to annoy without any repercussion, and longed to be held in another's arms as you drift off to sleep. You sigh, putting the lid back on the box and standing up with the intention of discarding the whole box.

I want to be seen, to love and be loved so deeply it rattles my soul.

Unbeknownst to you, your silver-haired companion had entered your apartment silently, and was standing at your room door, leaning against the frame. "Everything alright, darling? You seem a little distressed."

The sudden intrusion makes you jump in surprise, almost dropping the box that you were holding. "Sylus! When did you get here?" You nervously say, fingers tapping against the box. "Not too long ago, but don't try to dodge my question." His brows are furrowed, but his eyes were soft, almost hesitant. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Even though you felt like talking about your ex-boyfriend to your crush was breaking some moral code within you, you couldn't hide anything from Sylus. You knew he wouldn't push for information if you really didn't want to tell him, but you figured you trusted him enough to tell him anyways.

"I... don't really know, to be honest." You let out a mirthless laugh. You take off the lid of the box again, allowing him to see the contents inside. "I found this today. I don't know why I'm upset, really. It's all in the past." You begin, sitting down on the floor and tucking your legs neatly beneath you. "I just... I don't know. Sorry." It was hard to articulate exactly how you were feeling; it wasn't yearning, it wasn't longing, it was more of a gentle ache.

Sylus remains silent, only making noise when he shuffles to join you on the floor, legs straight in front of him. You sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder as you try to mould your feelings into sentences with actual structure.

"I miss having...someone, you know? Like, my own person. Someone to be there with me. It was nice with Zayne at first, but the situation just got from bad to worse." You fidget with the box. The words hang heavy in the air. "Even though the upsides of leaving outweighed the downsides, there were still downsides to leaving. I think I just want someone to love me, not just like me."

"It makes me wonder sometimes, was I not good enough? Was I not skilled enough a hunter, not caring enough a girlfriend? Did I not visit him enough at the hospital, or did I not pay enough attention to our relationship?"

The words linger in the air, and for a second, you're scared that you may have overshared. "Sorry, you don't have to say anything-"

Sylus cuts you off by plucking the box right out of your hands and walks out of the room to place it somewhere else in the house. You hear the soft thud of the cardboard hitting the floor, and firm footsteps before Sylus walks back into your room and lifts you up onto your bed. You were confused, but patted the empty space next to you to signal him to sit down anyway. He sits, and turns his head towards you while he clasps your hands in his.

Garnet red eyes bore into yours, gaze grounded and unwavering. "No more of that. No more of this self-depreciating nonsense. You're not 'not enough' and have never been 'not enough'. That doctor was just too blind to see how well you treated him; how much you were willing to put up with for him."

"You're much too brave and beautiful for him. I've seen you fight wanderers straight out of hell and bounce back up to your feet right after. I know you. You're strong, and even if you mourn the relationship now, I know you'll come back ten times better and healthier."

You stare at Sylus, not believing the words that just came out of his mouth. "Sylus..." you trail off, not sure how to thank him for his reassurance. You felt so seen -- not just noticed, not just glanced atm but seen. He hadn't been put off by your sour mood, and hadn't looked away uncomfortably as you poured your heart out to him. Instead, he took the time to understand what you were feeling and put himself in your shoes, and ultimately come up with a response that was both comforting and reassuring.

"Thank you. So much." You say, tears forming in your eyes. "I really needed this."

"Anytime. Shall you ever need me again, just contact me. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

He intertwines your fingers, gesturing for you to lay into a more comfortable position.

After a few minutes, you are safely tucked under the covers, your head laying comfortably on Sylus' chest. His hands rest on your head, making gentle motions on your neck to lull you to sleep. The dim sky and soothing atmosphere seem to make sleep call your name enticingly, and you find your eyelids quickly fluttering shut.

A few months later, you find yourself scrambling in your room, trying on various outfits while trying not to trip over the clothes scattered across the floor. Earlier that morning, Sylus had shot you a text, asking if you were free to meet up at a certain restaurant for dinner. You had excitedly said yes, not wanting to pass up on an opportunity to spend time with your soon to be boyfriend the man that you liked.

However, as you checked the address that he had sent you (you insisted on travelling there yourself, much to his dismay), you realised that the restaurant that Sylus had invited you to for a meal was conveniently the one that you had gotten stood up by Zayne at.

But you didn't feel an uncomfortable twist in your chest or a churning in your stomach at the mention of it. Sure, you had a bad experience with your ex-boyfriend there, but that restaurant also sold all of your favourite foods, and it was where you had first met Sylus.

It was time to let go of all the past memories with Zayne, and make new ones with Sylus.

"Would this one or this one go better with my outfit?" You ask, holding two different earrings up to the camera. You were on a call with Tara and Simone, and they were once again helping you to decide on what to wear for a date. They unanimously decide on the one on the right, and you hook them onto your ears immediately.

"That silver bracelet would look amazing with that top!" Tara exclaims enthusiastically.

"Really? I think the jade one suits her better." Simone interjects.

"Yeah, it suits her better, but the silver one matches better with the outfit!"

"How does that make sense? If it suits her, it'll suit the outfit because the outfit suits her."

"You're the one not making sense, Simone!"

"Guys, it's not illegal to wear both of them, you know?"

After what felt like hours, you were finally done picking out what to wear and what to bring. "Thanks again, guys!" You say cheerfully, waving as you hit the red 'disconnect' button. You stare at yourself in the mirror, scrutinizing every detail - and you came to the conclusion that you looked good. Satisfied, you picked your keys off your table and walked out the door.

You let out a nervous breath before you step into the restaurant. It was just how you remembered it - but this time, it was completely empty, and you spot a single table with candles and a vase of flowers placed in the middle of it. While you walked over, a hand on your shoulder made you jump. You turn, coming face to face with none other than Sylus.

"My, aren't you early?" He said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he pulled out the chair for you. "You're stunning."

You laugh, flattered. "You're not too bad yourself, y'know? I didn't even know you could dress fancier than you already do on a daily basis." You admit, brushing your hands against his button-down shirt.

"And you booked out the whole place for the both of us? That's so sweet."

"Hmph, you don't deserve anything less."

The both of you exchange some banter and conversations as you wait for the food to arrive. You don't miss the way his eyes linger on your lips for far too long to be considered platonic.

When the courses eventually arrive, you're swept off your feet by how amazing it tastes. "By astra, I swear the food usually doesn't taste this good." You mutter in awe, mouth full. Sylus merely chuckles. "I'm glad the food is to your liking, __. I had it specially enhanced and modified to suit your tastes better." Your eyes widened, suddenly aware of how much effort he had put into this date dinner. "I can't thank you enough, Sylus. This is amazing, you really didn't have to." Feeling bashful, you offer him a bite of your food off your fork. He takes it wordlessly, eyes never leaving yours.

"Like I mentioned earlier, you don't deserve anything less than this. I require only the best for my beautiful woman." Sylus coos, adjusting your earring that had somehow gone lopsided while you were eating. You felt your face grow hot at his words and playfully flicked his forehead. "You tease."

What neither of you noticed was a particular pair of people standing outside the window of the restaurant you were in.

"Zayne, I want to eat here!" MC said cheerfully, tugging Zayne along by his hand. He glanced at the place MC was looking at, and his nose scrunched in discomfort as he remembered what he did, or what he didn't do, the last time this restaurant was involved.

Ever since you and him broke up, he holed himself up in his office, only coming out for important meetings or surgeries. Sometimes, even MC couldn't get him out of that cold, sterile room. The feeling of regret and sorrow seemed to creep up on him in the late hours of the night, eating away at his conscience. Of course, it was right of you to leave him - he knew he had been neglecting you, but it didn't make you leaving hurt any less. These feelings only became worse when he saw you being carried into the hospital by your 'boyfriend', unconscious and bloody.

Why didn't I try to make more of an effort?

"It doesn't seem to be open, MC. I don't see any people inside." Zayne remarks, peering through the windows. Despite this, MC insists on just looking at the menu outside the door, and he follows her without complaint. As she looks at the menu, pointing to various different things she wanted to try the next time they had an opportunity to eat here, Zayne noticed two figures inside the restaurant, illuminated by the soft candlelight.

Your back was facing him, but he could recognize Sylus' face as clear as day. Silver hair, striking red eyes - he was hard to miss, and even harder to forget. Zayne's eyes widened in realisation and a feeling of unease settled in his stomach as he watched the scene that was unfolding in front of him. He tries to pull MC away from the menu, but the image was already burned into his mind.

Inside, you were finished with your meal, and now just chatting away with Sylus about life and whatnot. He was being extra flirtatious, dumping smooth compliments on you and being more touchy than usual. You tease him about it with a knowing smirk on your face, "Feeling extra affectionate tonight, aren't we?"

"This is how I always am, darling. You're imagining things." Sylus quips back, albeit a little nervously.

So it didn't really come as a surprise to you as the light suddenly dimmed, and Sylus pulled out a bouquet of flowers that he had been concealing the whole night while kneeling in front of you.

His voice shakes the slightest bit as he starts his confession, clearing his throat a few times before the words start flowing smoothly.

"My dearest __, I'm sure I fell in love with you the day that I laid eyes on you in this very place. At first, your beauty had enraptured me. But along the way, I fell for every other part of you as well. Your bravery, your kindness, your ability to be vulnerable without shame - all these things make my heart beat harder for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So now I ask you: will you accept me as your lover?" He finishes with a flourish, holding the bouquet out to you.

Your eyes start welling up with tears as you listen to his confession. Sylus made you feel safe, comfortable and all of those strange, fuzzy feelings. From when you met him until now, he had gone above and beyond for you, always making sure that you could rest easy and feel relaxed in his presence. With a full heart and shaky hands, you answer.

"Is that even a question? Yes, of course, a thousand times over!" You exclaim, clutching the bouquet of flowers and throwing yourself into his arms.

Sylus barely had time to stand up to his full height before you came crashing into his chest, but he held you tightly in his arms anyway. "I couldn't be happier than right now, darling." He whispers against you, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. "Me too." You admit, smiling into his shirt.

The universe works in strange ways. They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Even though the door that closed shut painfully, slamming itself against your fingers as you tried to stop it from closing, the door that had opened in its place led to somewhere beautiful, flourishing and evergreen. And you couldn't wish for anything else.

-END-

taglist:

@mentaltrouble2201, @beaconsxd, @leftpoetrymoon, @noxellaa, @boopershnooper @aboobie , @blorbohunter , @notisekais , @justpassingdontworry @satansdaughter123

[bubblyi3]

Between Us, Before Us PART 8 | KTH

"the past never asks permission to return. it simply knocks once… and walks in."

pairing: taehung x female reader

genre: slice of life, angst, fluff

word count: 9.4k

content warning: angst, mild smut, trauma, cheating themes, pregnancy, heartbreak, toxic relationship, time jump here and there

summary: between the past and future lies the aching space of now. with taehyung, you've journeyed through love, heartbreak, and growth. once strangers, then lovers, now something more complicated, your connection is shaped by time, mistakes, and second chances. this is the story of who you were when you first fell for him, who you became through the pain, and who you might still become if you dare to hope again. in the space between healing and longing, one thing remains: him.

author's note: hey guys! took me a while to post this part because I wanted it to be just right. sorry if it's a bit rough. anyway, I know ~ taehyung’s toxic, y/n’s conflicted, and it hurts to read. but trust me, the storm won’t last forever 🪽

also thank you so much for all the thoughts, feedback, and even the tough opinions. i truly appreciate every single one 🤍 can’t wait to wrap up this series and finally write something happy and full of fluff lol

© disclaimer: please do not copy, translate or reproduce any part of this work without my permission. thank you!

*fiction rooted in real emotions and experiences.

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7

Three Days After:

The new place smelled faintly of lavender laundry softener and the unmistakable sweetness of baby lotion. Light filtered through the sheer curtains which Taehyung had insisted on hanging himself. Soft and cream-coloured, pooling slightly on the floor. He said it was for Nora, but now, you understood it had always been for you. A quiet gesture of comfort, and of care.

You hadn't seen this side of him before. The way he moved around the space like he was tending to something sacred. The way he folded blankets with intention, wiped down counters without being asked to. A nesting instinct you didn’t expect, paired with a protectiveness that never announced itself. Only existed in the way he watched you carry the baby across the room, or how his fingers stilled on your waist whenever he passed.

But what you truly hadn’t expected was what his parents had done. Kind and quietly generous of them. They had upgraded the space for you, while you were still swollen with hope and uncertainty. No grand gestures. No uncomfortable conversations. Just his mother’s soft smile and a set of keys, pressed gently into your palm as if to say, “We want you comfortable.”

So here you were now, standing in the sun-drenched stillness of a three-bedroom home. Warm hardwood floors creaked softly underfoot. The lull of distant lullabies echoed from someone's phone speaker, that was usually his. The coffee table was scattered with tiny socks, half-folded muslins slouched on the couch, and baby bottles waited patiently by the sink to be washed.

It looked like the kind of life you used to dream about. But the house wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

Taehyung had, too.

He moved more gently now, as if the world had become something delicate. He held Nora like she was made of silk and starlight. His hands cautious. When she slept against his chest, you’d catch him still, like he didn’t dare breathe too loudly in case she stirred.

He had taken time off work after she was born. Said he wanted to be there for the small things, the ones most people missed. The firsts, the in-betweens, the quiet hours no one ever documented but somehow defined you the most.

Still, whenever Jungkook texted about a track or needed a second pair of ears at the studio, Taehyung would go. Just for a while. An hour. An afternoon. You never minded. It was his way of holding onto that other version of himself. The one before the bottle warmers and diaper blowouts.

But even at home, the music never left him.

He tapped gentle rhythms on the edge of the crib when he thought you weren’t looking. Hummed unfinished melodies while washing bottles, notes slipping between burps and soft coos. It was like the lullabies belonged to all three of you.

And watching him like this made something ache deep in your chest. Because for all the broken pieces still scattered in your shared history, there was a kind of beauty in the way he was trying. Even if you weren’t sure trying would ever be enough.

Three Months Later:

The doctor’s office smelled like antiseptic and talcum powder, clean in that oddly reassuring way only paediatrics clinics can be. Soft white light spilled from the overhead panels, and pastel cartoons of animals frolicked on the walls. Somewhere nearby, a baby giggled, high-pitched and free.

You sat on a cushioned bench, your daughter warm against your chest, her fingers curled tightly around the string of your hoodie. And her breath was steady.

Taehyung stood beside you, a hand resting between your shoulder blades. You felt him more than you heard him. His gaze didn’t leave Nora, like he was still trying to memorise every detail. Still convincing himself this was real.

“She’s perfect,” the doctor said, smiling as she clicked her pen. “She’s growing well. Reflexes are strong. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding. Taehyung looked down at you, that familiar smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. There was no need for words. The pride was mutual, and so was the relief.

Later, as you tugged Nora’s tiny sweater over her arms and clicked her into the car seat, Taehyung was quiet. Thoughtful. Like he was trying to capture this version of life, one where things finally made sense.

Six Months of Nora:

The place was buzzing. It was the kind of noise that filled the walls with warmth, old friends, mismatched laughter, the smell of something home-cooked wafting in from the kitchen.

Jungkook was the first to barrel through the door, arms overflowing with plushies. “She needs stimulation!” he declared, dropping them dramatically onto the couch.

“You bought a drum set,” Namjoon said dryly, eyeing the small box under Jungkook’s arm.

“Early talent development,” Jungkook replied, smug.

Moments later, Hoseok arrived in a song, Nora’s name stretched into a melody he clearly made up on the spot. Jin followed, balancing a tray that radiated the promise of a meal you didn’t have to make. Yoongi entered last, quiet and unassuming, lifting a small bag with one hand and a sheepish smile.

“Teething rings,” he said, “and this.” He held up a tiny onesie: I’m not crying, I’m composing.

You grinned. “She’s wearing that tonight.”

Then came Jimin, arms full of pastel balloons and a gift bag that read For the coolest little lady in town. He swept you into a hug, warm and unfiltered.

“You look radiant,” he whispered into your ear. “Like someone who hasn’t slept in six months.”

“Exactly six,” you whispered back.

“I missed you,” he said, pulling back just enough to see your face. “We all did.”

One by one, they folded you into their arms. Jungkook lifting you off the floor, Namjoon grounding you with calm praise, Hoseok with his usual sunshine, Jin with food and affection, Yoongi with his quiet approval. Each hug was a reminder that you hadn’t done this alone.

Then, from down the hallway, the nursery door creaked open.

Taehyung stepped out, barefoot, sleeves pushed up, hair slightly tousled. You could still smell the faint trace of baby lotion on his shirt. His eyes found yours instantly. Tired but lit from within.

“Guys,” he called out over the noise, “Can you not yell? She just went down—”

Too late.

“Daddy’s home!” Hoseok whooped, launching toward him.

“Daddy of the year!” Jungkook yelled, pulling him into a dramatic hug that quickly spiraled into a wrestling match.

“You survived, man,” Namjoon added, ruffling his hair as Taehyung attempted to duck away.

“Hyung—ow! Stop!” he yelped as Jin caught him in a gentle headlock.

Even Yoongi joined in, tapping him lightly on the chest with a smirk. “Not bad, rookie.”

“You’re all the worst,” Taehyung muttered, cheeks pink, but his grin betrayed him.

“You’re glowing,” Jin said, teasing.

“You look like someone who’s seen things,” Hoseok chimed in.

“I have seen things,” Taehyung replied solemnly. “Like 4am. diapers. And spit-up. In. My. Mouth.”

The room erupted into laughter.

Jin exhaled. “Six months. That’s wild.”

“She’s growing so fast,” you said quietly.

“Yeah,” Taehyung murmured, stepping closer. His hand brushed yours, fingers finding home between your own. “We’re lucky.”

From the living room, Jungkook began drumming out a playful rhythm on the toy set, laughter breaking out all over again.

Days blurred. Weeks passed like flickers. But in this moment, surrounded by your people, your baby, your home. It felt like the world had cracked open just wide enough to let joy in.

And maybe that was enough.

An Hour Later:

It wasn’t loud at first, just a soft wail, threading its way through the hush of the evening like a ripple across still water. But it was enough. You and Taehyung both turned your heads instinctively, eyes meeting in a shared, wordless understanding.

“I’ve got her,” he murmured, already on his feet, movements quiet and careful, as if even the floorboards might shush him.

Moments passed. Then he returned, the silhouette of fatherhood etched softly against the hallway light. Nora was draped over his shoulder, impossibly small and achingly real, her tiny hands curled like question marks against the fabric of his shirt. A single bubble of drool gleamed at the corner of her mouth as she nestled into the safety of his chest with a sigh so sweet it could stop time.

The room melted around her.

Jimin clutched his chest dramatically, whispering, “She’s grown so much,” like it was a secret he wasn’t ready to share with the world.

“Those cheeks,” Hobi breathed. “And her arms! she’s got little rolls now.”

Jin smiled with his arms crossed, pride glowing in his eyes. “She looking like Taehyung now.”

Jungkook was already reaching for his phone, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. “Let me take one. I swear I’ll be normal about it.”

“Fine,” Taehyung said, adjusting his hold so Nora’s face remained pressed gently into his shoulder. “But no flash.”

Click. Click. Click.

“Seriously?” Taehyung hissed, feigning irritation.

Namjoon laughed, beer can in hand as he leaned over the couch. “Let the man document the era. She’ll outgrow this size in what—five minutes?”

You sank onto the rug, your heart tugged in every direction at once. The coffee table was a battlefield of shared joy, snack wrappers, tea mugs, and Yoongi’s newly claimed brewing station beside Jin’s perfectly arranged side dishes. Jungkook, having assembled a miniature drum set, was tapping a soft rhythm, trying to coax Nora’s attention.

She blinked sleepily, her gaze drifting toward the sound, legs kicking in slow-motion wonder. Her fingers waved in the air, reaching for the spinning sticks just beyond her grasp.

And you just watched. The flutter of lashes. The way her whole world seemed to be the space between your arms and Taehyung’s.

A feeling settled in your chest, that was not quite sadness, not quite joy. Something heavier. Something more permanent. The knowledge that she was already changing, already growing. And you were lucky enough to catch it as it happened.

The night had settled and there were stories, card games, soft laughter tangled with the scent of garlic bread and the sound of clinking glasses. Eventually, Taehyung brushed a hand over Nora’s hair, the picture of reluctant responsibility.

“I should probably get her bathed,” he said softly.

You waved him off with a smile. “I’ve got her. Stay. Relax.”

Later, when Nora was full and clean and sound asleep, you lingered by the door longer than necessary. She lay curled like a comma in her crib, swaddled tight, lips parting just slightly with each soft breath. You couldn’t look away.

Back in the hallway, the house was alive again with muted joy. The low buzz of a show playing, the scratch of cards on wood, the familiar voices that had become family.

Taehyung’s voice rose over the rest.

“First week home, I was scared to even blink near her. Thought she’d snap in half if I wasn’t careful.”

The guys howled with laughter.

You stopped just short of the lounge, peeking in unseen.

The coffee table was a mess. A perfect, joyful mess. Pizza crusts, open soda cans, dipping sauces that hadn’t been touched. Namjoon was slouched back with a beer, Yoongi muttering under his breath while Hobi dealt another round, eyes narrowed in concentration.

And Taehyung was just right in the middle of it all. Laughing freely, head thrown back, hoodie sleeves pushed up to reveal forearms dusted with a faint milk stain. From earlier, you remembered. He’d insisted on helping feed Nora, even when she kept turning her head toward you instead. He hadn’t minded. He just wanted to be part of it.

“You look different, V-Hyung,” Jungkook said, setting down his hand of cards.

Taehyung looked up. “Different how?”

“Happier. Lighter.” Jungkook leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. “I wasn’t sure you’d come back to us like this. But I’m glad you did.”

The air shifted to something sacred, unspoken sliding into the silence. Memories, heavy and sharp. The sleepless nights, the shouting, the almosts and what-ifs. The long road back.

Taehyung’s smile dimmed, not with sadness, but reflection.

“I didn’t think I’d get here either,” he said quietly. “For a long time, I was just… stuck. Couldn’t move forward. Couldn’t see anything but my mistakes.”

He turned his gaze toward the hallway. Not quite at you, but close.

“But she stayed. Even when I didn’t deserve it. And now we have Nora.”

“She’s everything. Tiny, loud, already stubborn. She looks at me like I hung the stars, and that terrifies me. But it also makes me want to be better. Every single day.”

There were no jokes this time. Just quiet nods. Eyes softened by understanding.

Namjoon raised his beer. “To better.”

The others followed. “To better.”

You pressed a hand over your heart, feeling it beat against your palm.

And when Taehyung’s eyes found yours at last, he didn’t say a word.

He just smiled.

And mouthed, Come here.

And for the second time that night, the world felt impossibly soft.

Eight months of Nora:

You sat cross-legged on the living room floor, the play mat soft beneath you. Nora's chubby fingers fumbled for the pastel blocks scattered around her, occasionally clacking them together with the kind of laughter that only babies knew how to produce.

She reached for the edge of the couch and pulled herself up, her tiny legs trembling under her weight. Her eyes, round with wonder, locked onto yours as she wobbled and finally settled into a squat, victorious.

A breathless squeal burst from her lips. The words barely formed, but bright with effort. Every time you clapped, she lit up, her palms smacking together in triumph, cheeks flushed and glowing.

Across from you, Taehyung lay on his stomach, elbow propped under his chin, curls haloed in golden morning light. His gaze didn’t waver. Not from you. Not from her.

“She’s becoming a mummy's girl” you said, voice low with amused affection.

He looked up, that lazy, familiar grin blooming like sunlight breaking through fog. “Can you blame her? You’re the most amazing woman alive.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you, blooming unbidden as your cheeks warmed.

He leaned forward and kissed Nora’s forehead, then yours. “But,” he added, settling back on his heels, “she’s a daddy’s girl too. She told me this morning.”

You arched a brow. “Oh yeah? In what language?”

“Baby Morse code,” he replied smoothly. “She blinked twice, then hiccuped.”

Your laughter filled the room, warm and quiet and content. The kind of laugh that didn’t chase the silence away but curled into it, like a blanket.

A few moments later, once Nora was calm and nestled in your arms, Taehyung cleared his throat—gentle, not demanding, just enough to shift the atmosphere between you.

“I got a message from the boys,” he said, gaze flickering. “They’re having a little get-together tonight. Nothing wild. Just music and friends. They want me to come.”

You didn’t answer right away. Not because you didn’t want him to go. But because the mention of it. The noise, the neon, the world outside, cracked the tender bubble you’d been living in since waking.

You knew that side of him. The version that came alive in music-filled rooms and thrived amid laughter and lively chaos.

You loved that side, too. In fact, it was one of the very reasons you fell for him even more.

But the thought of the bed feeling too wide tonight, the house too quiet… it twisted something small in your chest.

“Okay,” you murmured. “You should go.”

His eyes searched yours. “You sure? I don’t have to—”

You shook your head, offering a smile even as the corners of it tugged slightly. “You haven’t had a night out in weeks. Go. Really. Have fun.”

He leaned in again, thumb brushing along your jaw, the way he always did when he needed a reminder that you were real, and that you were his.

“You always say the right things.”

“Because I want what’s best for you,” you whispered. “Just… be safe, okay?”

He nodded, then glanced at Nora. Now dozing in your arms, lips parted in a milk-drunk dream. His voice was soft, certain.

“I’ll be home before her 3am snack.”

“You better be,” you said, but your eyes lingered on him. Not out of doubt. Just something quieter. Like a silent snapshot, tucked away in the folds of memory.

And when he wrapped you both into his arms one last time. The warmth of his skin, the breath against your neck, you held onto it just a little longer.

Because love, like crawling, was always a little shaky at first.

Taehyung's POV:

Taehyung hadn’t wanted to come.

He said it out loud in his head, more than once. Tying his boots with one hand while Nora clung to the hem of his shirt, her soft whimper of protest like a tether he didn’t want to cut.

You hadn’t said much. Just kissed his cheek and told him to text when he arrived. But your silence had weight. He felt it like gravity.

He walked into the party with a heart that already felt too far from home.

The music thumped, bass rattling the windows, laughter echoing from every corner. Bodies leaned into couches, cradled red cups, spilled stories. Jungkook waved from the drinks table. Hobi danced to his own playlist critique. Namjoon and Jin were already arguing politics near the kitchen.

But Taehyung felt apart from it all. An observer trapped behind glass.

He hadn’t even opened the beer in his hand when his phone buzzed.

Your name lit up the screen.

[Y/N]: She finally stood for more than 5 seconds without falling! We’re practicing again tomorrow <3

He played it with the volume just high enough to catch the sound, though he didn’t need it. He could already hear your voice. Feel it, even. The warmth. The joy.

He missed it.

He missed her.

He missed you.

He should’ve been home.

Then, cutting through the haze of his thoughts, Jungkook called out, something about Hobi’s new “death drink.” But the noise around him faded into nothing.

And that’s when he saw her.

Jisoo.

Leaning against the island, hair curled the way she used to wear it when she wanted to catch his eye. Laughing too loud. Like she’d never vanished. Like she still had a right to be here.

His stomach turned.

Why the fuck was she here?

He moved fast, searching the room for Namjoon. “You didn’t tell me she’d be here,” he said, sharp. Namjoon flinched. “Shit. Jin was supposed to—”

“I didn’t know either,” Jin cut in, hands raised. “She wasn’t even on the invite list, bro. I swear.”

Jungkook’s voice was quieter. “I should’ve said something, Hyung. I saw her name in the group chat but… I figured you wouldn’t want her here. We all kinda did.”

“But you knew,” Taehyung said. His voice was low, but it vibrated with something unsteady. Hurt. Betrayal.

“She always shows up,” he muttered, almost to himself. “Exactly when she knows she shouldn’t.”

He hated the way his hands shook.

He hated the memory she brought with her. The time he let it all fall apart. When things between him and you had already been cracked, and Jisoo had slipped into the spaces he didn’t know how to fill.

He hated himself for it.

“I shouldn’t have come,” he said finally, voice thick.

Namjoon reached out, squeezing his shoulder. “We get it. You can go. We’ll cover for you.”

But it wasn’t that easy. Leaving now would feel like a confession. Like he was still the guy who ran from consequences. And he wasn’t. Not anymore.

He glanced toward the kitchen again. Jisoo had seen him now. Her eyes lingering too long, mouth curved slightly like she didn’t know whether to smile or pretend she hadn’t noticed. There was something familiar there. Something dangerous.

“I’ll stay for a bit,” he said tightly, gaze narrowing. “Just long enough not to make it a thing. Then I’m heading home. To my girls.”

The boys nodded. No protests. No teasing.

Just silence. And understanding. Maybe even guilt.

Because they all knew that you had never liked Jisoo. You’d seen what they hadn’t. Felt it before anyone had the courage to admit it. And Taehyung?

He knew now too.

He just hadn’t listened when it would’ve mattered most.

Two hours in:

That’s how long he’d lasted.

Two hours of nodding along to conversations he couldn’t remember. Two hours of pretending he didn’t feel her gaze from across the room. Two hours of clenching his jaw so tightly it ached.

Taehyung stood near the sliding doors that opened to the backyard, gripping a beer he hadn’t touched. The noise of the party buzzed around him. Laughter, music, someone dropping a glass. But it all sounded distant, muffled by the pressure building behind his ribs.

He should’ve been home. With you. With Nora.

He checked his phone for the third time in ten minutes. No texts. No updates. Just your last message from earlier: “She finally went down for a nap. Miss you.”

God. That wrecked him more than he wanted to admit.

“Hey.”

The voice. Sounding similar and cautious, cuts through the noise. He didn’t have to turn to know who it was.

Still, he did.

Jisoo stood a few feet away, her drink half-finished, eyes searching his like she was waiting for something. Something he couldn’t give.

He didn’t say anything. Just turned away again, hoping the silence would be enough.

However, she didn’t take the hint.

“I figured you’d leave early,” Jisoo said, stepping closer. “You looked like you didn’t want to be here.”

He exhaled through his nose. “I didn’t.”

“Then why stay?”

Taehyung finally turned to face her, his expression dull with exhaustion. “Because if I left, it would’ve looked like I ran.”

“And you’re not?”

He didn’t answer. What was the point? He was standing there, sure but everything in him was already somewhere else. With you. With Nora. And yet, somehow, this still felt like running.

Jisoo let out a sigh. “How have you been, Tae?”

His jaw clenched. “I’ve been fine. Fatherhood’s been… good. Y/N’s been incredible.”

“That’s good.”

She said it again, quieter now. Like she didn’t know how to hold the silence that followed or maybe she just knew too much and was trying to hold back.

Taehyung gave a slow nod, then looked away like the conversation was a window into a version of himself he wasn’t ready to face.

Jisoo shifted. Her voice dropped. “I tried reaching out… but it felt like you were either ignoring me or I’d been blocked.”

His eyes flicked back to hers, sharper now. “I’ve been busy. You know that.”

She didn’t flinch. “How do you sleep at night, Tae?”

He blinked.

She stepped in. “How do you look her in the eye and tell her you love her. Knowing you’re keeping something from her?”

He said nothing. The words caught in his throat, heavy and bitter.

Jisoo’s voice softened, cracked with feeling. “You let me in, Taehyung. When things were hard between you guys, you chose me. You came to me.”

“I made a mistake,” he said, sharper now. “A selfish, ugly mistake.”

She didn’t back off. “You didn’t treat it like one back then. You didn’t stop. You kept coming back. Let me hold the pieces of you when she couldn’t.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I let you distract me from what I was breaking. That’s not love, Jisoo. That’s escape.”

“Maybe to you.”

“To her?” His voice cracked. “It would destroy her.”

The words hit the air like a confession. He dropped his gaze, swallowing against the lump building in his throat.

“She deserves better than me,” he said quietly. “But I’m still showing up. Every day. I’m trying. And I don’t get to pretend what we did was okay just because it made you feel less alone.”

Jisoo was silent. When he looked up, her eyes had softened. Not angry now, just sad. “You’re lying to her, Tae. Every day. You can’t build a future on half-truths.”

“She’s my future,” he said, steady now. “You were… a detour I never should’ve taken.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He paused, jaw set. “And I have to. Because if I don’t, I lose everything that still makes me worth something.”

He didn’t wait for her to respond.

He turned and walked toward the hallway, past the noise of the party and into the kitchen, where he knew the boys were lingering. Maybe Namjoon would give him a ride. Maybe he’d call an Uber again. It didn’t matter.

All that mattered was getting home. Back to you and back to Nora.

And as he walked away, the tension uncoiled from his shoulders in slow, tight waves. The guilt still clung to him because facing Jisoo didn’t make anything right.

But choosing to walk away?

That was something.

That was the beginning.

The moment Taehyung shut the front door behind him, quiet settled like a balm. No music thumping through floorboards. No laughter bouncing off unfamiliar walls. No perfume lingering in the air like ghosts. Just lavender from the diffuser and the softest trace of baby powder. His shoulders dropped for the first time all night.

He hung his jacket by the door, fingers brushing the worn fabric absently before moving toward the living room. The light was dimmed low, casting the space in a warm hush. You were curled up on the couch, wrapped in one of his sweatshirts, legs tucked beneath you. A faint blue glow from the baby monitor flickered at your side.

Your head turned the second he stepped into view.

“You’re back,” you said quietly. Your voice was steady, tinged with sleep but free of accusation.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Didn’t feel like staying long.”

He crossed the room and sank into the cushions beside you. Not tense, not exactly, but something in the way his jaw worked suggested his mind hadn’t followed him home yet.

“How was it?” you asked gently. “The party?”

He hesitated, then let out a tired laugh. “Wild. The guys were unhinged tonight.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head.

“Jungkook tried to make flaming shots and nearly set Jin’s jacket on fire. Hoseok dragged out the speaker and started karaoke. Namjoon got so into dancing he slipped and took three drinks down with him.”

You let out a soft laugh. “Sounds like a beautiful mess.”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Classic.”

The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. But it held a quiet expectancy. Like something unsaid had entered the room with him and settled between you.

You tucked your knees closer, eyes still on his. “Anyone else show up?”

His throat closed.

“Some of the usuals,” he said after a beat. “Jin invited more people last minute. Got a little overwhelming.”

You didn’t push. But he felt it anyway—the subtle shift in the air. The way you filed away his answer for later. Maybe you already knew. Maybe you were waiting for him to choose honesty over silence.

“I’m glad you’re home,” you said at last. Softer. Quieter.

He turned toward you. The weight of the night hung heavy behind his eyes, but your presence anchored him.

“Me too. Missed you.”

“You still hungry?” you offered. “I kept some dinner warm.”

He shook his head. “Just want to lie down. Hold you.”

You smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Alright.”

You both stood, moving toward the bedroom. As you did, he reached for your hand. Held it tighter than usual. Like maybe that could make up for all the things he hadn’t said.

But silence, he knew, wasn’t the same as peace. And the truth didn’t stay buried forever.

Celebrating Nora:

You were crouched on the living room floor, stacking plush toys into a basket, when a familiar voice called out over a burst of footsteps.

“Where’s my baby niece?!”

The door hadn’t even closed behind Nari before she dropped her bag and swooped in. Nora, unsteady on her tiny legs by the coffee table, squealed with delight as she was lifted into the air.

“She walked, like, four whole steps this morning,” you said, still half in disbelief. “I cried. Obviously.”

Nari gasped, already hugging her tight. “She’s practically in college.”

“She’s one tomorrow,” you whispered, like saying it too loud might make it more real.

From the kitchen, Taehyung called, “Nari, I hope you’re starving.”

She shot a look over her shoulder. “Is he… wearing an apron?”

“He’s been in the kitchen since noon,” you said with a sigh. “He’s calling it a ‘pre-birthday feast.’”

Right on cue, Jungkook appeared behind him, struggling under the weight of two paper bags brimming with snacks and pastel decorations.

“We brought reinforcements,” he grinned.

The place began to swell with noise, with the scent of sesame oil and garlic. Nora babbled from Nari’s arms, and laughter spilled from the kitchen as Taehyung bickered with Jungkook over table settings.

You were taping tiny flags across the window when you paused, taking it all in.

Taehyung stood over the stove, plating japchae. This wasn’t just cooking. This was distraction, and part of you knew that. You didn’t have to ask.

“She didn’t even ask for all this,” you murmured, handing Nari a juice box to give to Nora.

“No,” Nari agreed, watching Taehyung with a knowing expression. “But you deserve it too.”

Your smile faltered.

Dinner had been sweet in the way only chaos could be. The kind of joyful mess that didn’t ask to be perfect. Nora squealed with every clap, her chubby hands flying toward the colourful spread in front of her. Jungkook sat beside her, utterly determined.

“Say Kookie. KOOK. EE!” he repeated, wide-eyed and hopeful, as though her first word might be his nickname by sheer force of will.

Nari laughed so hard at the scene she nearly knocked her drink over, her cheeks flushed pink from giggles.

Through it all, Taehyung moved with a quieter rhythm. His hands reached instinctively for what you needed before you asked. More rice. Another napkin. A refill of your drink. He noticed when Nora started rubbing her eyes. He noticed the slight crease in your brow when you thought no one was watching.

When Nora finally drifted off, cheeks warm and full from frosting and fruit, her breathing soft in the crib, the house slowed down. The buzz of voices dimmed. Jungkook was already half-asleep on the couch, one arm flung over his face in defeat. Nari was in the kitchen beside you, sleeves rolled up as you rinsed dishes, humming softly.

Taehyung appeared behind you with a light touch on your arm. “You okay?”

You turned to him and for a moment, the weight of the year pressed in.

The hospital room, the 3am, the cries, the tiny socks. And now, this warm little bubble of noise and cupcakes and pretend normalcy.

“Yeah,” you said, your voice just above a whisper. “Just remembering. It went by so fast.”

Taehyung nodded, his gaze steady but shadowed. “I should’ve been better,” he said. “This year.”

The words sat between you like something unfinished. Like a promise made too late.

“You're been so great and she loves you,” you said quietly, rinsing the last plate.

“I love her too,” he replied, almost to himself. Then, after a breath. “And I love you. Even if I spent way too long not showing it right.”

Your hands stilled in the water. But before you could answer, before either of you could tip the moment too far in any direction, Nora stirred softly in the other room, her tiny sigh slicing through the silence.

Tomorrow, she would turn one. And somehow, you would turn the page.

Even if you didn’t know what the next chapter looked like.

The morning arrived draped in gold. Sunlight poured in through the windows, warm and gentle, like a soft blessing.

Nora’s laugh echoed off the walls. High, delighted, and sticky with sugar as she smacked her hands against her high chair tray, her cheeks smeared with cupcake frosting.

Pastel balloons hovered in the corners. Tiny cloud cutouts floated along the walls, spelling out ONE in soft felt letters. The scent of vanilla, bulgogi, and jasmine tea twirled together in the air.

Your chest ached with fullness.

Your parents were the first to arrive, lugging a massive gift bag that Nora ignored completely in favor of hugging your dad’s leg and then trying to eat the ribbon from the wrapping paper.

A little later, Taehyung’s parents came through the door, all smiles and tears. His mum didn’t even make it two steps before scooping Nora up and kissing her cheeks over and over again. Relatives from both sides soon followed, offering gifts, money, and warm embraces.

“She looks just like you did,” she whispered to Taehyung, smoothing down his hair with that timeless kind of motherly affection. He just nodded, eyes locked on you and Nora like they were too precious to look away from for long.

Then the room slowly filled up. Jungkook, Hoseok, Jimin bringing chaos and glittery gift wrap and too-loud laughter. Your uni friends Seoyun and Bora handed you a scrapbook they made by hand, bursting with pictures and memories from the last twelve months, and a bottle of sparkling wine neither of you had the heart to open yet.

Taehyung moved like a man with something to prove. Checking the music, adjusting the decorations, refilling everyone’s cups, making sure the party had enough joy to cover over the cracks.

You let him. Because part of you knew he was trying, and maybe part of you was, too.

Everything felt warm and right.

Until the doorbell rang.

You weren’t expecting anyone else. So when you opened the door and saw her standing beside Namjoon. Her hair perfect, clothes soft and curated, like she wanted to look effortless — your breath caught.

Jisoo.

The smile on her face didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey,” she said. “Didn’t mean to intrude. Namjoon said he was stopping by and I... just thought I’d say hi.”

Namjoon looked somewhere between apologetic and oblivious. “I told her it was casual.”

Your voice was cool, even, far too calm. “It’s my daughter’s first birthday. That’s not casual.”

Jisoo flinched. Just slightly. “I brought something for her,” she added, holding up a pink bag with a ribbon tied too neatly.

You didn’t reach for it.

Taehyung rounded the corner just then, Nora bouncing in his arms, her giggles aimed at Namjoon, until his body went still. He saw her. Saw her. And you saw his jaw tighten.

“You didn’t have to come,” he said to Jisoo, low but firm.

There was a flicker in her expression. Surprise, maybe. Something else, too.

But she smiled through it. “I’ll just say hi to the others. Then I’ll go.”

You stepped back, expression unreadable, and walked away before your restraint cracked.

Back inside, the mood had slightly hanged. Nari saw it right away. She drifted over with a drink, eyebrow raised.

“Want me to push her off the balcony?”

You snorted. “Please behave. Nora’s watching.”

“She’s one. She can’t even spell B-I-T-C-H yet,” Nari replied, earning a quiet laugh from you.

Still, you were grateful for her and for everyone who showed up for you.

Taehyung found you not long after. Nora was back in her bouncer, gently bouncing to a soft melody, babbling at her stuffed bear, surrounded by her grandparents.

“I didn’t know she was coming,” he said, eyes searching yours. “I swear.”

You tilted your head, quiet. “And if you did?”

He didn’t hesitate. “I wouldn’t have let her.”

You nodded. But the ache didn’t leave your chest.

“She’s still here,” you said simply.

And he didn’t have an answer for that.

Later, with everyone gathered around the cake and Nora giggling in your arms as the frosting met her nose. You made sure you smiled for the photos, and for Nora.

You smiled like everything was fine.

But across the room, Jisoo stood near the door, silent. Her eyes flickered between you, Taehyung, and Nora. For a brief moment you wondered to yourself.

Had you ever really stopped competing with her? Or had Taehyung just stopped keeping score?

Taehyung's POV:

The party was beautiful.

Pastel streamers fluttered like lazy feathers in the breeze drifting through open windows. The soft hum of a children’s playlist pulsed beneath bursts of laughter, a gentle rhythm to an otherwise perfect day. Fairy lights twisted up the pillars like golden vines, casting a warm, almost magical glow on everything they touched.

Nora clapped her cake-covered hands together with glee, frosting smeared like war paint across her cheeks. Her high-pitched giggles rose over the music and tangled themselves around Taehyung’s heart.

She was one.

His daughter was one.

He should’ve been completely present, soaking in every second. The way you tossed your head back laughing, eyes crinkling as you reached for a napkin to dab Nora’s cheek. You were glowing. Lit from within. There was joy in your every movement, peace in the way you held your daughter. Held his daughter.

Everything he could have ever wanted stood in front of him.

And still, he looked away.

To her.

Jisoo.

She lingered near the gift table, chatting idly with Namjoon and the boys. Her drink was half-full, her smirk fuller. The breeze toyed with the hem of her dress, her hair falling effortlessly around her face. And Taehyung’s stomach twisted.

It wasn’t longing anymore. Not exactly.

It was the discomfort of memory. Of familiarity where there should no longer be any. Of watching a ghost try to step back into a skin it had long since shed.

She looked too at ease. Like she belonged. Like she hadn’t nearly wrecked the fragile framework of the life he was still trying to rebuild, brick by trembling brick.

Maybe it was a good thing Jisoo came. It would give him the opportunity to prove something to himself. Or to you that he could be mature. That there were no loose ends. Nothing hiding in the corners of his heart.

But there were.

There always had been.

His jaw tightened. He flicked a glance back toward you. You were laughing with your parents and Nari. Your shoulders relaxed, completely unaware of the storm that had cracked open inside him.

Taehyung slipped away from the wall, moving outside, as if space could untangle the knot building in his chest. But the sound of heels followed, clicking across the tile like punctuation.

She found him, of course.

She always did.

He turned, keeping his tone even. “You knew what today was.”

Jisoo shrugged, stepping closer. Her eyes scanned his face, never lingering too long, like she already knew the lines too well to be surprised by them. “Namjoon said it was fine. I thought it was just a birthday party. Didn’t realise it was a boundary-testing event.”

“You know what I mean, Jisoo.”

She tilted her head. “Do I?” Her voice dropped, teasing. “Because from here, it just looks like an old friend bringing a gift.”

He didn’t answer right away. The silence stretched.

“I brought a book. For Nora,” she added softly. “And some stuff for you that you can share with Y/N.”

His mouth felt dry. “Thanks.”

“She’s beautiful,” Jisoo said, her gaze softening as she glanced through the window. “She looks like you.”

Taehyung swallowed. “She’s… everything.”

A beat passed.

“I wasn’t trying to stir things up by showing up,” Jisoo said, her voice dipped in something quieter. “I just wanted to see where you ended up.”

He looked at her. Really looked. And all he saw was a memory dressed in present-day clothing. A girl he once trusted with everything, the girl once he called his best friend.

“Some lines, once crossed…”

“I know,” she whispered. “I’ve replayed it too.”

For a brief moment, there was honesty between them. A flicker of the friendship they used to have.

“I’m happy for you, Tae,” she said.

She tucked her hands into her coat, glanced toward the house, to you.

“Thanks for the gift.”

“Anytime,” she said. But her voice trembled around the word like it didn’t quite fit anymore.

She watched you through the window. Her smile faded just a touch. Just enough for Taehyung to notice.

“You guys look happy,” she said. “I mean that.”

“We are,” he said.

She nodded, then her voice dropped into something darker, slower. “It’s funny though… how truth always finds its way out. Even when we try to bury it with good intentions.”

His heart stalled.

“What are you trying to say?”

Jisoo’s eyes met his. Calm. Certain. Too calm.

“Nothing. Just thinking out loud.”

Before he could speak again, Namjoon appeared at the gate, like he’d been waiting for his cue.

“Jisoo,” he said, his voice firm but not unkind.

She glanced back once, giving Taehyung a final look that held no malice, but held something.

“Don’t worry,” she said softly. “I won’t say anything you didn’t already say yourself… eventually.”

“Jisoo,” he warned.

She stared at him, something raw glinting beneath her cool tone. “You don’t get to tell me how to carry what you left behind.”

Namjoon’s hand found her arm. “Let’s go.”

And she let him lead her away, her steps quieter now.

“Enjoy your perfect little life, Tae,” she said, just before disappearing. “Hope it stays that way.”

And just like that, she was off, but the storm she left behind wasn’t.

Taehyung stood there, letting the air settle around him, the laughter from inside feeling a world away. He hated the version of himself that she remembered. The boy who ran from responsibility. Who treated your quiet, constant love like it would always be there.

He wasn’t that boy anymore.

With a deep breath, Taehyung stepped back inside. Past the streamers. Past the cake. Past the old ghosts.

Making his way to you and to Nora.

To the life he almost lost, and the one he would never stop choosing.

Three weeks had slipped quietly past since Nora’s first birthday. At last, the place had settled back into its familiar rhythm. The pastel streamers and colourful balloons had vanished, but the warmth of that day still lingered, tucked gently in the corners of your hearts.

You glanced up as the front door clicked open. Taehyung stepped inside, his shoulders heavy with the weight of the day, hair tousled just enough to seem effortlessly worn. Still, the moment his eyes found you, his face brightened. A small, tired smile breaking through the fatigue.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, dropping his bag by the door.

You held up the pan you’d been carrying with a modest smile. “I thought I’d make dinner tonight.”

He shrugged off his jacket and moved closer, the gratitude in his eyes tugging at your heart. “You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

The kitchen soon filled with the soft clinks of dishes and the gentle simmer of food on the stove. The scent of garlic and herbs curled through the air like a warm embrace. Nora’s soft laughter as she played, a gentle soundtrack before her bedtime.

Later, after dinner you tucked Nora into bed, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead, whispering a sweet goodnight. Back in the living room, you nestled side by side on the couch. Taehyung pulled his knees up, wrapping an arm around you, grounding you in the quiet calm. The city’s distant hum filtered through the window. A soothing lullaby beneath the stillness inside.

You rested your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath. His hand found yours, fingers intertwining with a familiarity that felt like coming home.

For a while, words felt unnecessary. Just the warmth of two souls quietly mending after the day’s weariness.

But beneath the calm, something shifted. The faint brush of his thumb over your skin sparked a flicker of electricity that raced quietly through you. The air thickened, charged with a delicate tension neither dared to break.

Taehyung turned his head slowly, eyes meeting yours with a softness that made your heart skip.

“Are you tired?” you whispered.

He shook his head, lips curving into a small, vulnerable smile. “No. I just… like this. Like being here with you.”

Your fingers tightened gently around his, warmth blooming deep inside. The space between you seemed to shrink, the world narrowing to the small couch.

His thumb traced slow circles on the back of your hand, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine.

You shifted, turning to face him, breath catching as your eyes locked. In his gaze, you saw the quiet vulnerability you felt mirrored back. Without a word, he reached up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering on your cheek with a gentleness that spoke louder than words.

You leaned in, lips barely brushing his, tasting the space between you. His eyes fluttered closed, and when his lips finally met yours, it was slow and tender. A silent conversation only the two of you understood.

His hands settled at your waist, pulling you close, grounding you in this moment of quiet reunion. Your fingers curled into the nape of his neck, savouring the softness beneath your touch.

When you pulled back, foreheads rested together, breaths mingling, hearts pounding in quiet sync.

“Thanks for trusting me again,” Taehyung whispered.

You smiled softly, your fingers tracing lazy circles against his skin. “Don’t make me regret it.”

At your words, something flickered across Taehyung’s face. An unreadable shadow but you pushed it aside, choosing instead to hold on to the fragile hope between you.

The afternoon sun hung warm and golden. The kind of day that felt like it was made for memories. Nora was already at your parents’ house, wrapped in the comfort of familiar arms. You’d gotten a text from your parents not long ago.

[Mum]: Nora’s down for her nap. Enjoy your time together. Love you both.

The message settled in your chest like a gentle reassurance, easing the familiar flutter of anxiety. It was the first time in a long while you’d been apart from Nora. Though the ache of missing her lingered, a quiet hope began to bloom beneath it.

Taehyung waited by the car, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. You’d changed out of your usual leggings and hoodie, choosing a simple dress that felt like reclaiming a small piece of yourself. Light mascara framed your eyes, and your hair fell softly in loose waves around your face. Nothing extravagant. Just you.

He smiled, reaching for your hand. “Ready?”

The engine purred to life, and he guided the car onto a scenic route that traced the river’s edge, the city sprawling in lazy elegance around you. Trees brushed past the windows, their leaves shimmering in the afternoon light as the sky began its slow shift toward dusk.

“I planned this all week,” Taehyung said, his voice soft with that familiar mix of nervous pride and tenderness. “A picnic by the Han River. Nothing fancy, but… everything.”

The city’s hum faded behind you, replaced by the gentle ripple of water and the occasional bird song. When you arrived, Taehyung carefully laid out the soft blanket on the lush grass by the riverbank, smoothing out every wrinkle with deliberate care. The gentle breeze teased the edges, but he held it steady, making sure it wouldn’t slip away. He unpacked the wicker basket, revealing an assortment of neatly packed treats.

Kimbap wrapped in colourful paper, sweet rice cakes, and fresh fruit glistening in the afternoon sun. With practiced hands, he arranged everything just so, placing a small thermos of warm tea nearby. And your favorite mocktail from your pregnancy days. You watched him, heart swelling at the care in his every movement.

“How did you remember all this?” you asked softly.

His grin was mischievous, almost boyish. “I told you, babe. I planned it all.”

As the sun dipped lower, painting the sky with strokes of pink and orange, you shared stories and laughter. Little moments about Nora’s morning adventures, the funny way she tried to feed her stuffed bunny, the sweetness of your life together. The ease between you grew with every smile.

Taehyung reached out to brush a stray hair behind your ear, his touch light and familiar. You rested your head on his shoulder, breathing in the calm of the moment.

“Sorry it’s not a fancy date,” he murmured.

“This is perfect,” you whispered.

He squeezed your hand gently. “I’m glad.”

The city lights began to twinkle in the distance as the sky darkened, and Taehyung draped his jacket over your shoulders. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple and whispered, “Promise me we keep doing this. No matter how hard things get.”

You nodded, eyes shining in the fading light. “I promise.”

And though a quiet doubt still lingered deep inside. That stubborn gut feeling you couldn’t quite shake. You chose to lean into this fragile hope, learning slowly to trust him again, one moment at a time.

Was this enough? Could the cracks ever truly be sealed?

The mornings were quieter now, but Nora’s tiny footsteps and soft babbles filled the house. She was only one, but already so full of life. Pulling herself up on the couch, reaching for your hand, her wide eyes sparkling with curiosity. The weight of her in your arms, warm and real, was both your anchor and your ache.

After the dates, the stolen moments of laughter, the quiet family breakfasts, the late-night talks where vulnerabilities slipped through, and the shared smiles over Nora’s little triumphs. It all felt like healing. Like after everything had shattered, some pieces could be gently pieced back together. Taehyung had changed. He was here. Fully. Present in ways he hadn’t been before. For a moment, everything felt possible.

You both had started to rebuild, carefully, like walking on glass shards that glittered with the promise of healing but still threatened to cut. Job hunting, doctor’s appointments, Nora’s milestones, whispered promises, and cautious plans. Everything was an exercise in learning to trust again.

But then your phone buzzed, shattering the fragile peace.

Unknown number.

You answered with a hesitant voice, trying to steady your breath.

“Hello?”

A pause. Then, her voice. Calm, cold, sweet, and familiar.

“It’s Jisoo.”

Your heart stopped.

The woman who had been the shadow in the corners of your relationship. The one you had pushed to the edges of your mind.

“I know. I shouldn’t be calling,” she added quickly, her voice too calm for what she was about to say. “But I need to talk to you. Just once.”

You leaned against the kitchen island, already feeling your heart pick up speed. “Why would I ever want to talk to you?”

“Because I think you deserve to know the truth,” she said.

You didn’t respond, but your silence gave her the space she needed.

She took a slow breath. “I’m not here to ruin your life. I’m not. But I can’t keep pretending that what happened between me and Taehyung didn’t matter. Or didn’t exist.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

There was a long pause.

“We slept together,” she said.

Time stopped.

You blinked, certain you’d misheard her. “You… what?”

"It wasn’t just once. Taehyung and I… it happened more than that." She continued.

You felt like air punched out of your lungs. Tears were fighting to be release.

"When things got heavy between you two, when he felt like he was drowning… he’d come to me. And I let him."

“No.” You shook your head, gripping the counter. “No, that’s not true. He would’ve told me. He would’ve told me.”

“He didn’t,” Jisoo said, her voice almost apologetic now.

“Because he didn’t think it mattered. He didn’t think it would last with you again. So when it did… he buried it."

You staggered back a step. It felt like the floor had cracked under your feet.

“I know this hurts,” she added. “And I’m sorry. But you’re building a future on a lie.”

You couldn’t breathe.

You remembered the way he held you after fights. The way he promised to do better, to grow up, to be a father and a partner and everything in between. The way he looked at Nora like she was magic.

He said that Jisoo was just a close friend. He swore, and still you let him crawl back into your arms without telling you the truth.

“I forgave him.” you said, barely above a whisper. “I forgave everything. And he still—”

“He made his choice,” Jisoo said. “And now you get to make yours.”

You hung up.

The silence after was crushing. The room blurred at the edges. You gripped the counter like it could hold your world together. But you were already falling apart.

The baby monitor crackled softly in the background, the only sound in a house suddenly full of ghosts.

Because now, you had to face the one thing you never thought you’d feel again.

Betrayed.

An hour had passed since the phone call ended.

The place had settled into stillness.

The living room was dim now, the sunlight that once filtered through the curtains now replaced with that heavy, colourless light that falls just before dusk.

You hadn’t moved much. You’d done the dishes. Folded a few clothes. Tidied up the toys by Nora’s play-mat. You even wiped the table twice though it didn’t need it. You told yourself you were fine. That you just needed to breathe. To stay busy.

Nora was still asleep, her baby monitor resting by the window. The soft static hum a reminder that at least something in your world was steady.

You picked up your phone from the armrest and tapped the screen, the last message you sent to Taehyung still glowed on the screen. Like a cruel reminder of the normalcy that existed just hours ago.

[You]: Hope work’s going okay. Nora went down for a nap. Love you.

And now, you started typing.

[You]: Did you ever sleep with Jisoo?

You stared at the screen.

Delivered.

No reply.

Your chest tightened. You typed again.

[You]: Don’t lie to me. Just answer me. Did you sleep with her?

Read.

Still nothing.

You couldn’t stop your thumbs and you continued to type.

[You]: She called me and told me everything. Is it true?

Typing…

Then it stopped.

No reply.

[You]: I trusted you to be honest with me. You looked me in the eyes. Slept next to me. Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just hoping I'd never find out?

Read. Still no response.

Tears burned at the back of your eyes. You slammed the phone down on the couch and covered your mouth before the sob could escape.

Because his silence was the loudest confession of all.

You don’t even know what to feel anymore. Is it grief? Rage? Shame?

You’ve spun through every emotion so many times, it feels like your soul has been strained dry. Now, you’re left with something quieter and emptier.

You should’ve known.

No — you did know.

Or maybe you felt it. That subtle, sickening shift in your gut, the way your eyes darted to his face, searching for reassurance that never quite came.

But you pushed it away. Told yourself he was trying.

That people grow. That love, when it’s real, can overcome even the worst of things.

And he was trying.

That’s what makes this so much harder. That’s what makes it feel less like a betrayal and more like a cruel contradiction. The version of him you held out for during every quiet heartbreak and second chance. The version you clung to during the months when his eyes seemed to look past you, not at you.

But now… you don’t know what any of it means.

Because it wasn’t him who told you. It was her.

And now the life you built. Your home, your daughter, your love. It feels like it’s hanging by a thread. Because how do you reconcile the man who makes your child laugh… with the man who lied so easily while holding your hand?

You can’t. Not today. And the worst part is that he became the man you always needed, but only after he broke you.

And maybe now… you love him a little less. Or maybe so much less that your heart doesn’t even recognise that love anymore.

And that’s what truly breaks you.

[churipu]

hiiii !!!! it feels so rare to see a blog dedicated to just fluff so i love ur works sm 🫶🫶

could you write abt reader who doesn't know how to ride a bike and the jjk chars teach them? specifically geto x reader pretty pls <33 thank you :} !

JJK MEN + TEACHING YOU BIKE RIDING

featuring. geto suguru, gojo satoru, itadori yuuji x reader

warnings. mentions of a little blood, scrapes, falling off a bike.

note. omg hii anon <33 thank you for giving love to my work, it means a lot to me. sorry this one took so long, i hope you like it, mwah mwah <33

GETO SUGURU. the first time you wanted to learn how to ride a bike was when geto took you bike riding during the weekends, and you were seated at the back while he was the one maneuvering the bike.

"suguru, teach me how to ride a bike."

and that was all it took for him to actually go 'teacher' mode on you, waking you up at eight in the morning to actually coach you from the basics to the most complex things on bike riding. geto is such a patient man, he coaxes you through your fears of falling — promising how he'd be there to catch you if you fall.

little progress is still progress in his eyes, he will ruffle your hair and call out praises to you. telling you that you did a great job and that he's pretty damn proud of your progress.

and believe it or not, he is a man of his words; every time he sees any signs of imbalance or the slightest bit of odd movements, he'd catch up to you by feet and stand by if you fall (which happens most of the time if he's already up there by your side).

for a couple of weeks, he was up early in the morning to teach you how to ride a bike. and hey, you could see the progress in those times, by the time you were able to steer the bike perfectly fine, geto was actually so proud he almost cried (he said he didn't, but he did, just a tiny bit).

"suguru, look!" just seeing the smile on your face as you pedal the bike made his stomach flutter, he is so happy.

after that, he'd always take you bike riding, same place, same time, this time with two bikes for each of you (although sometimes he prefers it if you sat behind him, hugging him tightly).

GOJO SATORU. i could see him being such a proud little shit when you told him that you couldn't ride a bike, it was embarrassing, but he told you he'd teach you how to. and well, he's not the best at teaching — or demonstrating how to ride a bike (despite him being a teacher and all).

since he could, and you couldn't. he ends up teaching you by actually riding the bike without explaining what to do, but hey— he's a dedicated man.

"so you just kind of...do this, and then that, and then yeah it just happens!" he grins and you looked at him in confusion, but said nothing anyways.

it made you reminisce the days back at school when the teacher would ask if you understood what they're saying, and you tell them yes just so you could move on and get it over with. yeah, that was what it looks like during the whole time gojo was teaching you.

it took you a good four months. four. months. because gojo, how do i even say this? during sessions, he would steal your bike and use it for himself— giving it back to you when he feels satisfied, and so it took longer for you to learn.

in fact, it felt like the male was rather a distraction rather than a teacher. but hey, at the end of the day he still succeeded in teaching you how to ride a bike.

"i'm never going to ask you to teach me again," you mutter out, braking in front of him.

gojo gasps out dramatically, "why not? i did it, didn't i?"

he's totally proud of you and he just has to let everyone know, posting pictures of you and he'd write a long caption telling the world about your journey of riding a bike. like a facebook mom.

ITADORI YUUJI. the first time he found out you couldn't ride a bike was when he asks you about bike-riding in the mountains, and you straight up told him you never learnt how to ride one. so, he made it his job to help you learn, and he's not really great at it.

"i don't understand what you mean by that, but yes, let's try it out anyways," yuuji was nervous the first time his grip left the bike's seat, and you were off.

he was trudging behind you, catching up to your slow pace — but still, when he realizes how imbalanced you are, it was too late. one second you were still pedaling the bike, and then the very next second you were kneeling on the ground with a bleeding and scraped knee.

at the very first second he saw you, he was quick to be by your side. he grabs you by your waist and picks you up, muttering out curses under his breath and then apologizing to you non-stop — he felt like it was his fault, he told you if he had been more cautious, you wouldn't be bleeding.

"shit, baby, i'm so sorry. i should've been more careful," he mutters out, wiping off the blood off your wound while blowing on it softly so the pain wouldn't sting as much.

"'s fine, yuuji. it doesn't hurt as much as i thought it would," you chuckle at him, but no matter how hard you try to convince him that it doesn't hurt and it was fine, yuuji still took the blame.

he tries asking you if you still wanted to learn the bike with him, and when you said yes, he's delighted. and more alert, not letting the same thing happen twice. he's such a cutie, he bought you a helmet, a pair of knee protectors, and elbow protectors.

better safe than sorry, even if he bought you those, he was the one catching you when you were about to fall.

for a couple of days, yuuji also tried looking up tutorials on how to ride a bike so that he could explain it to you well, and he was actually quite surprised when you got the hang of it in the first two weeks. proud is an understatement, he's overjoyed that he could take you bike-riding now.

of course he praises you about it, telling how fast of a learner you are and how proud he is. also, he still feels guilty about your fall— and he tries making it up to you by buying you food (which he didn't actually have to since you've forgotten about the fall anyways).

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[owatazumi]

Keys. ꄗꗃ

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ lee heeseung feat. gender neutral reader. no warnings. reader studies a lot. not a lot of conversation between reader and heeseung. i kept it fairly simple and short, hope you don’t mind. #studying #neighbors2?? #friendshipdevelopment . word count: 632.

authors note: This should be my first heeseung post…? That’s crazy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Sorry for my absence. I kind of sort of got rid of my writers block a little. I hope. <33

Half-unpacked boxes were still scattered everywhere around your new apartment. Your bedroom wasn’t fully equipped with furniture yet either, you only had your bed and your desk and chair for studies while the rest of the apartment was slowly coming together.

Every day after you come back from your classes you would usually go straight back home and fixate on your studies, diving head first into your work. You enjoyed it, although it was hard at times and really took every particle in your body to not just throw everything out the window, you still continued and tried savoring every good moment to make up for all the stress and frustration.

After another tiring day, you walk up the stairs to your apartment, just wanting to relax a bit and rest. That was the only thing on your mind. “Hello there new neighbor,” you hear a male voice from the opposite side greet you as you search your pockets for your keys, just to find nothing so you turn around. “Oh— hey, it’s nice to uhm— meet you…” He could clearly tell how tired you looked and felt just by taking a glance at you. A chuckle escaped his lips as he takes a few steps closer to you, his hands in his pockets. “Uni?”

He was pretty tall compared to you, not too much but definitely visible although his looks were definitely what caught you more off guard… He looked beautiful, ethereal even and he was your neighbor. That’s definitely something you could brag about. Living next to somebody as handsome as him? Yeah, that definitely would come up in conversations with your friends. “Is it that obvious? That I’m tired?” You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, feeling your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. He responded by pulling his hands out of his pockets, revealing your keys.

“You left them hanging this morning.” As he reveals your keys, your eyes widen and you gently take them from him, nodding your head softly to show him that you’re thankful that he took them until you’d come back. “Oh God— Thank you…” All he did was shake his hand and brush it off as if it was nothing before walking back to his apartment door. “I’m Heeseung… Rest well.” He gave you one last soft smile before heading into his apartment and closing the door behind him, leaving you standing there a little baffled and flustered before you also head inside again.

That slightly awkward encounter with your new neighbor sparked interested in the both of you and it also created a new friendship as well, leading to you not just staying home everyday after your studies but actually going out from time to time. He was the person that kept you grounded, the one that made you realize that there was still a world outside of studying and learning and for that, you were truly grateful…

Occasional going out and talking with Heeseung gave you an insight of what kind of person he was. He was quiet, at first, but slowly, through patience, because all you needed was patience with him, he spoke more with you. He opened up to you.

Heeseung was a thinker, maybe even an overthinker, which lead him to taking a while longer to answer to things or to respond but you didn’t have a problem with that at all. It actually helped you take your time as well, not always just babbling out everything and not giving him a chance to speak. He helped you to listen closely and you helped him by understanding him and being patient…

It was truly a great match. A match made, not in heaven or anything, but instead, by yourselves…

<33

[klausysworld]

Hii, I love your work <3, it's so good

I was wondering if you could do a Klaus x reader when Klaus is reader's psychologist or therapist and he knows all her shit and falls in love with her (I'd even like to see some jealousy from Klaus because reader always chooses men who treat her horrible and he tries to be professional about it but in the end he can't, he kind of thinks he would treat her better (even in the sexual part))

Which would hurt more?

Klaus had been seeing his client Y/n L/Y/N for a few weeks now, once on a Sunday and again on a Thursday for an hour or so each time depending on his schedule and if he could push other clients back to hear her.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have a favourite patient but despite most of their conversations being on rather traumatic or emotional topics, he looked forward to seeing her and listening to everything happening in her day to day life as well as her past.

He enjoyed seeing her progress and helping her to understand her own feelings. Even if he mostly listened and offered advice that he knew she wouldn’t actually use.

So there he was already waiting on his chair with the door open for her to come in while he got the past session notes out. His lips turned up as he heard her voice ring from the hall

“I’m so sorry I’m late Dr Mikaelson, I got caught up” she explained, through heavy breathing as she rushed in and closed the door before going to her usual choice of seating opposite him.

“Not an issue y/n, and please call me Klaus” he smiled at her and she quickly mirrored it as she dropped her bag and brushed the hair out of her face. “So, how was your morning?” He questioned while clicking his pen

“Well- okay so last night I was out with this guy right? Whatever, stayed the night at his but then woke up and I was like shit. I’m on the other side of town, no car, lost my keys, the dick took my cash from my purse and disappeared before I woke up and I couldn’t find my phone anywhere so I had to find my own way here without any money. Ergo I ran cuz I woke late and I’m just behind on everything, you?” She rushed out in one long breath leaving him speechless for a moment before glancing to his empty page.

And then began a long session about her decisions, how she got to them, how she would do them differently and why she thinks she chooses then more often than she’d like.

See Y/n seemed to do this a lot. From what Klaus could tell, she frequently allowed random men to use her body only to feel awful about herself after. He assumed it to be her own version of self harm, abusing her body to try feel better for a moment.

Problem was she didn’t see it that way, and he knew she planned to keep doing it. And although he had many suggestions, he couldn’t exactly tell her what she can and can’t do.

But he could be there for her and try to help her find a better way to her future.

And over time, he managed to see some change in her behaviour. She got more self aware and was able to move past some of her childhood trauma.

The problem with her being self aware was that she knew what she was doing and it was only upsetting her more each time she had to tell him that she’d done it again.

And although he hasn’t ever hugged a patient in the past, he couldn’t help but comfort her as she cried for nearly the entire session. It was his main mistake.

Having her in his arms felt too good for her to be just a client. Being able to smell her hair as her face nuzzled his neck was delightful and in that moment he wished they were stood in his their own house, under entirely different circumstances and together.

Of course once she pulled away and sniffled her ‘thank you’ back to him, he snapped out of it and cleared his throat to try and push away his thoughts.

And from then it only got worse.

One hug became many over the weeks, until she was greeting him and leaving him with a cuddle each time.

And then the dreams kicked in, he knew he could treat her so much better than any other and he loathed every man who took advantage of her vulnerable state. He just wanted to have her as his, to hold and love her like she deserved.

Of course he tried to shove his thoughts away when he actually saw her but then she began wearing more intriguing outfits. Revealing and suggestive clothing that surely drove his mind mad.

His eyes would shut and his lips would part as her breasts pushed right up against him and she hummed with her lips by his ear. Klaus couldn’t help his mind wondering to the idea of having his face between said breasts, hands squeezing and fingers pinching. He couldn’t help glance down for a second as they pulled away to get a peek at her cleavage and when he looked back to her eyes he knew she knew and that made it harder.

Months went by and he found himself waking up with her name fresh on his lips, cock up and solid, sweat coating his body as he groaned aloud and pulled the blanket off his body only to sigh in defeat at the cum that already covered his abs.

She made it difficult to concentrate on anything she was saying now that such a rich red lipstick painted her lips each day, his note book became more and more blank each session and he seemed to find himself picturing her in all sorts of positions as she told him about another imbecile she slept with. God he just wanted to have her beneath him, head back as she screamed his name and forgot about every fool she had ever been with before.

And when she kept coming to him upset or hurt both physically and/or emotionally by another boy…he couldn’t stop himself from snapping and telling her she needed to stop abusing herself which caused a heavy silence to hang over them.

She had cleared her throat and pulled at her jacket to hide her breasts that she had originally wanted on display for him.

And that’s when he realised that he was another person who she though would use her and leave her. She wanted him to hurt her.

He stood up slowly and moved to sit beside her on the couch she were on, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, he rest his chin on top her head and sighed through his nose

“I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry y/n” he told her

“It’s fine, you’re right” she whispered but he could hear the crack in her voice and it hurt his heart.

He kissed her temple tenderly and helped her onto his lap which probably wasn’t his finest idea but he did so nevertheless. His hand gently rubbed up and down her arm as she bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to not cry again in front of him even though it was what he was there for.

“I never mean to upset you sweetheart” he murmured, tucking some of her hand behind her ear

“I’m sorry” she whispered and he frowned

“No lovely, never be sorry, it’s my job to listen to you. I was very out of line…” he thought for a moment before his brain gave him a brilliant idea “how about we do something to cheer you up? You like sweet things don’t you y/n, how about we go to the cafe just down the street?” He offered

“Is that allowed?” She asked quietly, of course she wanted to spend time with him and she had purple been trying to get his attention but now she was getting it, she worried that it would hurt his career. He was a highly recommended psychologist and she wouldn’t ever want to ruin his reputation.

He hesitated for a moment before sighing “probably not no…but I’ll go get you something and bring it back okay? You happy to wait here?” He leaned back to see her face as she turned to him.

“Are you sure? I’ll grab my purse so-“

“Nonsense love, It’s my version of an apology” he hushed her as he stood “just stay here, snoop if you must and I’ll be back shortly” he kissed her forehead before leaving.

It was an odd situation to be in, her psychologist holding and kissing her and buying her things to make her feel better.

She thought she’d seduce him, fuck him and then he’d have to let her go as a client and she’d be on her own again. But he didn’t take her against his desk and then throw her out, he kept looking out for her, taking care of her and being kind. It was bizarre and everything in her argued on whether she should run or stay.

She wasn’t sure which would hurt more. Staying, falling completely in love with someone she knew she wasn’t allowed or running away from the only good thing in her life at the moment.

She was never great at decisions and Klaus knew that.

Which is why he wasn’t overly surprised when he got back with the cakes in his hands only to find that she had left only a note as a sign she had once been there.

He placed the food down and sighed, he shouldn’t have left her alone. He didn’t know what he was thinking anymore. He just knew that she was important to him now and he needed to find her, sooner rather than later.

[ms-oswald]

paper heart | sihtric

author's note: just a little something i had in my back pocket for a while - a kind of fluff(?) simple one-chaptered modern!sihtric fic. thank you to @itbmojojoejo for being my second pair of eyes 😘 Hope you will enjoy :) happy holidays! lots of love & stay safe 💕

      The room was bland; the walls were painted white, a soft gloss apparent, and the fluorescent light shone with grip from the ceiling. The only window present was held with bars, offering a mundane view of the empty yard.  

Where she sat, patiently waiting, she stared at the clock - round and intimidating, the numbers carved in rotation as the needles made passage with every dropped second. 

She took in a deep breath, her presence at the back of the room forgotten while her eyes settled on the four bodies that sat on the other side, papers and pens resting on the table in front of them. 

They were quiet, waiting. 

Her gaze then shifted to the guard standing alert at the door, the entrance closed. 

She had been waiting for this day for weeks, having first known about it when the letter came into the mail; the header had caught her off-guard, the content of the invitation surprising.  

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the door opened where the guard held the knob, pulling it over towards him to let the newcomer in. 

He walked in quietly, chained from his wrists to his waist down his ankles.  

He looked around the room, no words yet escaping him; his gaze caught sight of the parole board sitting at the front of the room, the barred window, the ceiling light - the bulb almost blinding him - and then, his eyes settled on an unknown female figure.  

She met his stare, her heart’s beat increasing bit by bit with every ticked second. She grew anxious, her fingers fidgeting on her lap against the fabric of scarf. She then ran them through her hair - freshly cut - as she fixed her new bangs and coiffed her locks to properly rest around her shoulders where the soft colored waves scratched against her blazer. Dearest Liliann wanted to look presentable for him, and so what better way than to pass by the hairdresser for a new do. 

A silent ‘hello’ passed across her lips as they curved into a soft smile, all in the hopes he would recognize her despite never officially having encountered each other face-to-face. 

He was gently pushed to take a seat in front of her, making him face the board as they prepared. She couldn’t help herself but place her sight on him still, her hues tracing the broad shoulders covered by his jumper, up to the braids that covered his sides and top of his head as they pulled his curls back, resting right at the nape of his neck. 

“Sihtric Kjartansson. Please rise.” Within his silence, the man in question rose back up to his feet, calm and collected.  

The man at the center of the table was going through Sihtric’s file, recounting the crime he had committed and the consequential sentence he had eventually met. 

The convict remained still, while trying to listen as the board’s words floated at him. 

Only when he was made to sit back down did he snap out of his thoughts, her name was spoken through their lips.  

“We’re calling on a character witness, Liliann-” 

The woman of the hour; she jumped up from her seat at her name, interrupting the introduction. “Yes, h-hi your honor-s.” Standing up, she was clutching at her scarf the way her nerves were grabbing her with might. The older man eyed her for the second, almost having been startled at her sudden appearance.  

His gaze went back to the file that stood in front of him as he went on. “We see here you have been corresponding through letters with prisoner Sihtric Kjartansson over the last four years.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Sihtric couldn’t help but smile, the right side of his lips curving softly at her nervous stature while holding himself to not chuckle so loudly. He couldn’t turn around fully and see her but hearing her speak brought him a sense of ease she had been carrying through her pen since they met. Only today did he find out what her voice sounded like, and he cherished it already, the tonality of her sound calming him. 

“Then speak.” The man asked, inquisitive and skeptical as his gaze bore through her. “Do you believe he is ready to rejoin society?” 

She worked on her posture, hoping that the tension she felt in her knees would stop her body shaking slightly from her nerves. She swallowed whatever saliva she had in her mouth and looked back at the man straight in his eyes. 

“I am confident he is ready. Sir.” She glanced quickly at her friend before eyeing back at the board. 

“Sihtric is not a bad person. He has just been dealt with bad cards…” She tried formulating her next words, careful to keep her calm. “H-he had an upbringing that no child should have to ever go through. I-I mean his father was a notorious criminal, a m-monster. He was in self-defense mode, protecting his loved one, a-and his mother-” She breathed in as she quieted down, her emotions slowly getting the better of her. 

“He was put in a horrible position that gave him no way out.” Another exhale, her knuckles whitened against her scarf. “Sihtric deserves a second chance. He shouldn’t have to pay any longer for circumstances that were beyond his control. I fully believe that, if his circumstances were different, better even, he’d be living a regular life and not barred by this justice system.” 

A woman at the table intervened, curious at the visitor’s words. “You sound distasteful.” 

“I am.” She had jumped with her answer, not having realized her response until a second later. Her eyes wide, she recuperated herself just as quickly. “I don’t mean to be rude, but-” 

She sighed once again, her eyes averting to Sihtric before looking back to the board. 

“You left a criminal on the streets for years as he terrorized everyone who crossed his path. He murdered countless people - his own wife included - and yet was never arrested for his crimes? And then, Sihtric, who did us a bloody hell of a favor, by the way, gets taken away for acting in self-defense. I’m sorry, but this was beyond unfair what he went through. And I believe this man right here didn’t deserve such treatment.” 

She dropped her head, gathering the last of her thoughts on the manner, her pulse racing against the clock. She lifted her eyes back up, watching them. “I haven’t known him for long, but I know him well enough that he’s not dangerous nor does he pose a threat to society. H-he is deserving of a second chance…”  

Sihtric’s heart pounded between his ears, her words having carved themselves into his bones as shivers ran down his spine. He took a quiet breath, his head down and eyes closed, as he turned away to face the board again. He took them to heart, yet a twinge of uncertainty nestled itself comfortably in the darkest corner. 

The board eyed her, slightly taken aback by her words. “Thank you for this…” The man in the middle cleared his throat, his eyes averted back to the file. “Insightful speech. You may sit down.” 

She slightly stumbled as she took back her seat, her palms sweating from her sudden lack of control. 

An eerie silence hung in the air; tension crawled up the walls to hover over the people in the room.  

Liliann tried to slow down her breathing, her pulse increasing by the second. Though it felt like time standing still, the hands of the clock were moving at an unbearably slow pace. 

But they turned and turned, Father Time forcing patience onto them. 

‘Dearest Liliann, you deserve to know the truth of what I have done. But first, I need you to know – in the event you decided to cut ties with me – that it has been a pleasure knowing you and writing to you. I have been here for two years now and ever since we ‘met’, you have made my stay more bearable; your letters brighten the grim time I have here. Yet, how can I complain when I am the cause of my own undoing?’ 

      She lost track of time as she waited outside, leaning against her car. The cold breeze added colors to her cheeks as she melted under her scarf, her arms crossed over her chest with her coat protecting her from the lightly grim weather. 

The thoughts swirling inside her mind had left her to fall away from the moment; she was racing on a stand-alone track, directionless. 

For the last four years, she had only ever written to Sihtric, had only encountered him through pictures. And now, just a few minutes away, she would finally be physically standing close to him. 

She would be lying to herself saying that she wasn’t nervous. She had thought about that moment for so long, the multiple scenarios she had built in her head could fill a library.  

Palpitations ran their course, a gentle smile coating her lips when her sight was finally granted with his presence. 

He was making his way out as the gates opened and paved the way to his tethered freedom; the man was free, the board having passed their judgement, though he remained on parole. 

The chilled air had hit him with a whirlwind, the clothes he wore not enough to protect him. He added a spring in his steps as he approached Liliann, growing anxious the closer he got. He had his right hand holding his thin layered jacket as closed as possible, while his left had been holding onto a couple of bags the prison had given him for his possessions; clear plastic to display his belongings. 

He grew nervous, not truly knowing what to expect for their first physical encounter. It hugged him, the estrange feeling resting across his chest. 

Reaching her at last, she stood up with her arms dropping as her hands found shelter in her coat pockets. “H-hi.” She stuttered her greeting, gently growing timid at the sight of him. 

“Hi.” The small grin graced him, his voice reaching the air around her for the first time; her heart quickened its pace within that second, having stumbled on its walk when the tone of his words came to her. 

A gentle awkwardness crept its way in between them; it was not unpleasant but had still brought them uncertainty.  

She couldn’t look away from him, the gears in her mind churning loudly as she tried to find something to say. He stood still, the weather suddenly becoming a second thought as his gaze settled on her, taking in her appearance – from the way her dimple carved the right side of her cheek, the soft bangs tickling her eyelids where the rest of her  hair covered her ears and were mounted on her scarfs and highlighting her hues, to the cupid bow atop her lips inviting him for a taste. He was holding his breath, staring at her as if to take her in, afraid that all this was unreal, a simple ruse. 

Lost for words, they could only exchange a nervous chuckle until she pushed herself to finally speak up, trying to push passed the blush heating her cheeks. 

She went with the only route she knew by heart. “This would’ve been much easier if I had written something down.” Her sense of humor was something he had only been able to read; hearing it for the first time, he laughed at her remark and the sound warmed her, enjoying the way it tickled her senses. “It’s finally nice to meet you.” 

“You too.” 

The exchange remained clumsy, their bodies shifting to either a handshake or a friendly embrace; Sihtric decided then to take the first step and leaned towards Liliann as he wrapped his arms around her.  

She followed him, her hands resting on his back and had hoped he didn’t hear the pounding in her chest. “How are you feeling?” She spoke into the wind, hiding her nervousness. 

He pulled away just enough not to be completely out of reach with his head tilting downwards to look at her. “Good- It’s strange, but a good kind of strange, I guess.” 

She tried not to pay close attention to their proximity, shying away from the softness of his eyes until she noticed a faded scar on his right cheek. Her hues stuck to the mark, she had reached out for it, lightly tracing it with her fingertips. In return, he remained quiet, watching her as the gentleness of her caress left him shivering. 

It was when she met his stare again that she realized what she was doing. She quickly pulled away, flustered. “S-sorry.” 

He smiled, a small tug on the corner of his lips. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s the medic in me.” She quickly wanted to give him an excuse, not wanting him to believe she was an intrusive person. “I have to have insight on all the cuts and bruises I come across.” She shared a nervous laugh, a small chuckle - a gesture he reciprocated. He touched his own cheek, nonchalantly. “It’s just something I got from one of the inmates. Nothing to worry about.” She frowned at his words, worried, but had decided to let it go, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. 

She took a step back, ready to offer him a ride when she noticed the contents in one of the bags he had been holding; she recognized the pastel-colored envelopes and her heart soared. “You kept them…” She was in awe, touched that he held onto the letters she had been sending him over the years. 

He scratched the back of his head, budding timidity hovering around him. “Of course, I did.” He gave her a smile as she took the bag in question. Examining what was inside, she then noticed a polaroid stuck between two envelopes; she recognized it as the one she had sent him - a simple one she had taken with her cat. Her brows creased at the sight, in slight shock. 

“Wait, you kept this as well?” She lifted her head up to him as she spoke.  

“I did. It was my proof you were real...” The softening smile graced his lips as he took a glance at the photograph, his eyes lingering as a subtle sharp twinge nudged him in the corner of his chest. “It’s a pretty good picture.” He softly mentioned under his breath; she blushed, trying to hide her embarrassment as she rubbed her nose from the cold. “Really? I was horrified after I sent that- It's like, the second I sent out the letter, I got my senses knocked back into me!” She caught a chortle in her throat, her hands to her cheeks in a mortified look. “I mean look at it! I made my cat wear a knitted suit! That I made! It’s horrifying!” He shared a chuckle with her at her response, amused at the exaggeration she was committing. She then caught her breath, the curves of her lips falling, her teeth biting the bottom instead. “To be honest, I thought I would’ve scared you off or something.” 

“You didn’t... You can say, these kept me sane...” The smile he wore was heartwarming, entrancing. He meant his words, his declaration of their friendship wearing him like silk. 

She was touched, not expecting such sincerity though kindness was something she knew him for. 

She sucked in a breath, wanting to change the subject. 

Her hands back in her pocket, she twirled quickly to look at her car before turning back to Sihtric. “Want to get out of here? If you’re a bit peckish, we can go somewhere to eat.” 

He nodded at her suggestion, not denying the need to taste civilian food again. “I can have a bite to eat.” 

She invited him to her car as he made his way towards the passenger side. He was about to reach the door when she spoke up again. “Oh! And don’t mind the noise the car makes. It goes away once it’s starts moving.” 

He stopped in his tracks, looking perplexed.  

She went on, having seen the expression covering his face. “It’s completely safe, I promise!” 

He let out a snicker and shook his head as he went to open the door. He struggled, not being able to complete the task even by force. Liliann was about to get inside when she saw him. She ran to him, her nervous laughter singing in the back of her throat again.  

At his side, she guided him. “You just have to give it a little push, a kick, and voila!” She succeeded, happy her trick still worked while also relieved the winter hadn’t done any more damage. 

Sihtric stood bewildered, taken aback by the complex steps that were needed to simply enter the hatchback. “Have you thought about bringing it in to get it fixed?” 

She smiled back at him, the grin wide across her lips. “But then my sweetest Volks will lose all its charm!”  

He laughed at her words – her perky personality was a natural boost, a shot given to him straight for the serotonin. It had been just a few minutes, and he already did not want it to stop. 

Once they settled inside and buckled their seats, Liliann plopped in her keys into the ignition, ready to go as she attempted to turn on her engine. It took her a few tries, leaving Sihtric to be worried about the state of her car. 

She turned her head to him, reassuring him with all the conviction she could muster. “It would be weird if it didn’t do that at all.”  

When finally lighting up, she let a sigh of relief slipping through her lips as she mumbled under her breath a quiet ‘thank god’. 

He silently chuckled to himself, having heard her words, the smirk painted across his lips not able to be erased. 

‘Dear Sihtric, I am glad to see you have not abandoned me after my last letter. I may sound dramatic writing this – sorry. It’s been an awful week at work. I lost two patients in the span of a few days. It’s been grim to say the least. I love my job. It has its moment, notably, witnessing such loss, but I also get to meet all kinds of people with such extraordinary stories – it's a blessing. I hope you are doing well and that you are reaching the end of your dreary cold. Be safe, Sihtric. I hope we’ll get to meet soon.’  

      They found their seats, secluding themselves from the early afternoon crowd; back in her neighborhood, she was treating Sihtric to lunch. 

They sat in front of each other, her back leaning against the booth with only the table and menus separating them. As for the newly freed ex-convict, he was leaning forward where his arms rested on the surface with his head laid low. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” She softly spoke, her sleeves pulled towards her fingers as they toyed with the menu. 

He lifted his head to her words, a gentle smile covering his lips. “I’m just… overwhelmed a bit, I guess.” 

She worried, her brows narrowing at his sentiment. “Are you happy at least? You’re a free man.” She said with a little tint of joy coming from the back of her throat. 

A soft chuckle escaped him, naturally rolling off his tongue. “Yea, you could say that.” He then pushed himself against the backrest of his seat, arms dropping on his lap. “Thank you.” Relief had washed over him like a gentle breeze as his back leaned towards his seat, relaxed as his eyes settled on Liliann. 

“For?” Her head slightly tilted, curious.  

“For everything.” The laidback stature he grew into was now dissipating, the tension in his shoulders slowly gripping him once again. “You had no obligation with anything-” He was interrupted when a waiter came to their table to take their order.  

Liliann jumped in, her eyes lingering on her friend for just one moment before she was giving her attention to the menu as she spoke up, taking the lead. She had crossed over the pages going from appetizers, plates and drinks to share between them. 

Once the worker had took his notes and was out of ear shot, leaving them with only their glasses of water for the time being, Sihtric spoke up again; he was taken aback by her gesture and approached her again, pressing himself against the edge of the table. “It’s too much, you didn’t have to order all that.” 

With a softening gaze, she leaned forward as well, matching his stance with a light tone of voice that dipped into care. “Don’t worry about it. Lunch is on me.” 

“You don’t have too-” He gestured to her his refusal, his hand stretching across the surface of the table.  

She mimicked him, having reached out where her hand rested atop his – a gesture done on instinct, her mind having no thought of the movement. “I want to.” 

The sudden touch halted the twist of the tongue, the need for speech suspended. Sensing warmth budding in the palm of her right hand, she just as quickly pulled away, breaking the tension that seemed to have tied them together. Sihtric felt a soft wasp of cold air before he pulled away as well, trying to ignore the tingling sensation; it lingered, and he used his other hand, his thumb rubbing across his left. He swallowed the lump in his throat, the chaotic swarm of emotions leaving him conflicted. He felt weighed down by such heaviness, part of him thankful for her while the supposed rational part of him felt guilt nibbling at the edge. It left him perplexed, not knowing if his appreciation and affection stemmed from his circumstances – as she had become a beacon of hope – or if the feelings he held, wrapped like a vine across his ribcage, were genuine because of her. 

Sitting face to face, finally being able to physically look at her and take her in, he couldn’t stop but wonder if what he felt was real, or if his emotions were attached to her as his white knight savior.  

Either way, he wanted her in his life. 

She was easy to talk to, and he found her sense of humor and her sarcasm endearing. Her comedic stance had given him a breath of fresh air into his lungs, as if his need for oxygen was now revolved around her, around every hint of a giggle in her throat, the caring smile across her lips, or the spark in her eyes that would shine whenever something light came to be. 

He was smitten, and though he had known her for years – today was the day he felt his heart soar against his broken chest. 

“Plus, I’m starving! I’d probably be leaving you with crumbs to eat anyways.” Her words, ringing into his ears so sweetly, made him titter. 

She blushed at the sound. 

“Alright, then.” He nodded, accepting her generosity with a small exhale. He then reached for his drink, his fingers twisting the glass on the table. From her hues, he looked down to the rim. “Thank you.” He lifted his head to her again, his shoulders letting go of the strain. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” 

She shared a giggle, a subtle sound that etched across her lips. “I look forward to it.” 

And just in time, the waiter came back with their pints while the food was still yet to come. 

Liliann took her glass, raising it to him. “To your freedom.” Sihtric mimicked her, taking his own drink and lifting it mid-air. “Partial freedom. I’m on parole, remember?” 

She shrugged, a laidback motion of her shoulders. “It’s still a win.” They clinked their glasses, sharing their first sip as silence comfortably settled itself between them, a ball rolling up and down the table. 

While he took his second sip, she worked on her next words – something he had noticed as her mouth twitched carefully. He waited, patient. She took a small gulp from her own glass, the bitter liquid trenching down her throat as she tilted her head to him again. “Have you thought about what you will do, now that you’re out?” 

He sighed, thinking about his future. “Not really... To be honest, I didn’t think this day would ever come.”  

Her heart squeezed at his answer, hurt he felt such way, that he had lost hope. 

She did what she did best, petting such worries into a deep sleep. “You could take up knitting.” She gave him a light shrug again, a gesture that was meant to amuse him. “You can join my one-woman knitting club.” 

He chuckled – he would never get tired for her knack for humor, he thought. 

“I’ll think on it.” He offered a soft lopsided smile as he took another sip of his drink. She smiled in return, diverting her gaze quickly to the window on her right before turning her head back to him.  

Once more, silence had spoken, letting Liliann thinking over her next words cautiously while her teeth nibbled at the skin inside her lips. She let out a breath, quietly as it slowly escaped her mouth, interrupting their moment with her low voice. “You’re welcome to stay with me, by the way.” As soon as they had come out, had she realized the meaning of her sentence and just as quickly jumped back in to clarify. “U-until you find something else, I-I mean.” She became nervous again, unable to read him. “Y-you can stay as long as you need.” 

He looked at her, her kindness becoming like budding waves of the sea; he wasn’t drowning, he just remained still as the water caressed him, leaving droplets and raising his skin. He grew heavy again, guilt scratching at his inside. “You’ve done enough, already- Lili-” 

She swallowed the dryness in her throat, pressing herself further against the backrest of her seat. She was close to pleading, her words breathed out with weight attached to them. “Sihtric, please.” He saw her shift, and had seemed to have closed herself a bit, her arms on her lap while her fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt. “I want to do this. I want to help.” 

He sighed softly and gave her a subtle nod as he accepted her invitation – he saw she had slowly straightened her back with a slither of hope, he thought, had added some colors to her irises. “It’s temporary.” He couldn’t bring himself to say he had friends we could stay with, that he at least had people who would look out for him. 

She shook her head, feeling more at ease. “Exactly.” A small smile made its way to the corner of her lips, unable to hide its content – it seemed it was contagious as Sihtric found himself doing the same, sharing a grin of his own. 

      Their food had arrived and had rolled their conversation onto smoother tracks. The atmosphere had settled around them, igniting banters and laughter that eased the residing tension on his shoulders, dissipating the heaviness into the void. 

The afternoon swayed through as they caught up like old friends who hadn’t seen each other in quite some time. They rekindled past conversations and introduced new topics as the hours of the day danced around them, like a soundtrack rolling backstage. 

The sound of her laughter was becoming a necessity, leaving him with a smile that hadn’t made its appearance in years; her written words had always been held close to his heart. Now that he knew what she sounded like, the way she held her humor, the way she spoke – the lines he had memorized in his head, he could finally hear her say them. His heart soared as her voice floated between his ears, soothing him. 

They were on their third drink, gently rummaging through their plates, when the air had cooled down. Sihtric’s eyes had caught sight of a woman from across the pub, his heart suddenly coming to a halt. 

Liliann noticed the change in demeanor and called for him. “Sihtric?” With no response, she followed his gaze and turned her head to see where he was looking. Her face dropped, understanding the violent fright in his eyes. She then turned back to him, finding him gulping his beer.  

She let him swallow, leaning towards the table’s edge with concern. “You alright?” 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Y-yea. For a second, I thought it was-” He was looking pale, the color draining from his face in utter shock. An ache settled in the pit of her stomach as she watched him. “I know. I thought the same…” 

He ran his fingers through his hair, his hands remaining at the nape of his neck before they fell to his lap. “I’m sorry for how she behaved towards you.” 

“It’s okay. There is nothing to feel sorry about. It wasn’t your fault.” 

It was believing that Sihtric’s ex was just a few feet away, that left them feeling dread looming over them.  

It was remembering the last time she had seen the other woman that Liliann felt a rush of goosebumps across her skin, making her slightly shudder; the ex had initiated an argument when she found out Liliann and Sihtric were keeping in touch. Annoyed, enraged, she had taken his stuff and dropped them at Liliann’s door with a simple “if you want him, you can have him” remark spat at the young woman.  

“Still… She was my wife.”  

Liliann huffed, the tone done in a tongue in cheek way. “Yea… Weird taste, dude.” She used her sarcasm to push away the grey cloud that encased them in their booth. It made him chuckle, making it another successful attempt at lightening the mood.  

Wanting then to continue and desperately change the subject, he dived into something else, bringing her along. “How is Aramis?”  

She had taken a bite, a small piece of fried pickle, when he inquired about her pet. The suddenness of his question made her choke on her food. Trying to catch a breath, she coughed as she went for her glass, the straw settling between her lips as she downed her beverage to cool herself. All the while, though he was taken by surprise at her reaction, Sihtric couldn’t help but smile as she grinned nervously.  

“I thought I would’ve annoyed you with how much I wrote about him.” She kept her fingers on her glass, the straw dancing around the pieces of ice cubes that resided at the bottom.  

He frowned, curious. “Why would you think that?” 

A slight scoff slipped from her, her eyes remaining glued to her plate. “People - that I have encountered at least - tend to be irritated by those who talk too much about their pet. Especially against cat ladies.” 

Aramis was her everything; a simple British short hair she had adopted from an elderly couple who couldn’t take care of him anymore. 

He held a soft beam, his sentiment genuine towards the little one. “I love the little guy! And I love that you took him in. Not a lot of people would do it, let alone mean it when they say they would do it.” 

She blushed, flustered at receiving such a compliment, and hid behind her drink. “Y-yea… He’s a pretty good roommate to have around.” 

“I have some competition it seems.” 

She chuckled at his remark, meeting his eyes as she shook her head, amused. “I guess so.” 

They carried on, traipsing seamlessly from topic to the next, a comfort settling between them. 

Drawn to one another, unable to notice time pass, the pen’s ink slowly tightened them within its cursive script and pushed them closer as they discovered more about one another. 

The letters they wrote had brought ease and hope, and he appreciated every single one of them. “They have definitely made my life bit fuller, if that makes sense…” 

“It does.” She softly smiled at him, understanding as the sentiment was reciprocated. 

Sihtric had then gotten up from his seat without a word, suddenly leaning towards Liliann from across the table. He reached for her, his hand resting on the left side of her face, hand to her jaw with his thumb caressing her cheek. He then approached her further until she felt his lips pressed onto hers, sharing a sweet kiss – the gesture taking her by surprise. He pulled away, though he remained close enough to her, calling for her. 

The glass shattered, the daydreaming breaking into thousands of pieces as she was snapped back into reality.  

He had noticed she had fallen into a slight daze, unresponsive until he spoke her name. Startled, blinking, she cleared her throat as she quickly slid out of her seat. “E-excuse me-” 

She dashed for the bathroom, going straight for the sink. She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face. She grabbed the counter, lifting her head to the mirror in front of her. “Get your shit together, Liliann!” Pointing at herself through the glass, arguing with herself, she took a moment while catching a breath. Once she felt normal again, she fixed herself up and walked back to her seat. 

Sitting back down, Sihtric looked at her with a curious gaze. “Are you okay? You look… flushed.” 

She still felt heat gripping her cheeks. She cleared her throat, pretending nothing had disturbed her. “I’m fine. I just ran a bit hot. T-the food was quite h-ot.”  

He chuckled, not fully convinced. “Alright, if you say so…” 

She chugged down half her water – the sight leaving a tickled smirk across Sihtric’s features. Placing her drink on the table with a sigh, she leaned back in her seat, pulling her sleeves to her palms as she picked – once again – at the hem of her shirt. 

He saw the gears in her head turning, igniting curiosity on his end. She was so pensive, clearly thinking of what she wanted to ask him – the way it marked her features, a glint stretched across his lips, enjoying the way she was nibbling at her bottom lip in thought. 

She let out a small breath – the one thing had been haunting her for a while. She had been too afraid to ask but the dire need to know, to understand, had been gnawing at her like an aftertaste. She gathered her courage and pushed through. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” 

She ripped it away like a band aid. 

“Why didn’t you want me visiting you?” 

He took a moment to answer, pondering as he fell backwards, resting in his seat. Meeting her stare, he melted under her gaze, his answer floating smoothly. “I didn’t want to shatter the illusion the letters created for you.” His words rang her ears. She waited for more – it took him a second to continue. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed of who you would be meeting, face to face.” 

Her heart broke at his confession. It hurt to see him retrieve himself like this. “Sihtric, the letters never created any sort of illusions for me. They were the most honest I’ve ever been with anyone, and I felt that from you too. U-unless I’m wrong-” 

“No, you’re not. I've been more honest and vulnerable with you than with anyone else. Even from my ex...” The pressure on his chest was chipping away ever so slowly. “I wanted to see you, to sit down and talk and finally meet the mystery woman who I've been writing too. Up until you sent me your picture, I thought I was being cat-fished.” 

She laughed at his comment, inciting his own chuckle. “I am an improvement, I hope.” 

“You have no idea.” He lingered – just for a moment, and then spoke to her. “And sorry, again. I thought it would be easier if we just kept to the letters… I didn’t want to be a disappointment.”  

She offered him a smile, a grin that reached him. “It’s okay, I understand. I’m just glad we are here now… finally.” He reached for his plate, picking out a single frie. She quietly watched him, the curves of her lips remaining timidly upwards. “And Sihtric?” He met her gaze. “You’re not a disappointment.” 

Her words struck him and for the first time in so damn long, he believed it. 

He believed her; the way she was looking at him, the way her eyes held him with such high regard as if he was anything but a criminal, a murderer. Not even the woman he had spent most of his adult life with, not even she who he was engaged to, looked at him that way. It left him with a warmth that crept under the covers, right into his chest like a cat seeking comfort. 

He tried to ignore the thoughts that hid in the shadows, in the back of his mind. 

There was a lingering gaze; they held their eyes to each other without a word, without even realizing what they were doing. It had lasted for a few seconds – short enough for the waiter to come back, interrupting them. “Do you want anything else?” 

Liliann turned to Sihtric. “Dessert?” 

Sihtric nodded. “Sure, why not.” 

She turned back to the worker while Sihtric’s sight remained on her, enamored.  

The entire situation still felt surreal for him. 

He took his last sip, eyes on her, until he eventually turned to the window, the glass back on the table. 

“You alright?” He nodded at her inquiry, looking back at her. “I didn’t realize the holidays were approaching so quickly.” 

“Tell me about it.” She joined in, looking to the streets with her arms resting by the sides of her body. 

The afternoon had stretched into late evening, the dessert extending their stay even further. 

Time passing was not an issue for either of them – they had nowhere else pressing to be. 

For now, he was content, enjoying her presence at his side. 

‘Dear Liliann, I’m sorry to hear about the troubles my ex is giving you. I’ve tried reaching out, but she has completely cut ties with me. Please do not mind her, I’ve angered her, though I guess being out of the picture, it’s easier for her to use this excuse to cheat on me. I know I’ve written this before but thank you for letting me know. I cannot blame her, to be honest. It hasn’t been easy – our last years together were a tumble down the stairs. Yet, I cannot help but still feel for her since she had been by my side as far as I can remember. But I guess everything must come to an end eventually...’ 

      They stood quietly in the hallway while Liliann searched for her keys.  

She was rummaging through her purse, the item lost within the void. All the while, Sihtric remained patient, his eyes watching her with amusement until he turned his head where his gaze settled on the closed door that stood across from them. 

“Got it!” The jingle of the keys echoed around them as she lifted her head up, smiling at her retrieval.  

She then caught him looking behind her; she turned around before looking back at him again. She softly spoke up, careful with her tone. “A new couple moved in a few days ago…” A part of her was glad his ex had moved out, having grown afraid of the woman. 

Her words caught his attention as he reverted to her. She spoke again, happy to see the slight tremor in her voice went unnoticed. “H-have you spoken to her recently?” 

“No.” She was unlocking her door when he continued, stuttering her steps in the process. “But I need to reach out to her. We need to talk.” 

“O-oh. Yea, I guess…” A shaken sigh under her breath, Sihtric hadn’t seen the dread draping her shoulders, which she - once again - quietly thanked. 

Opening her front door, she turned on her lights as she walked in and was welcomed by the loud cries of her cat. 

Liliann bent down, picking up her furry friend in her arms while gently scratching at his fur. 

She then turned around as Sihtric walked in and closed the door behind him. He remained speechless, taking in the sight as she moved away.  

“Welcome to my humble abode.” 

He chuckled as he removed his jacket, his eyes wandering around the small apartment until he saw a few boxes lying by a wall.  

“It’s not much, but it does the trick. It’s, hmm, it’s home…” He noted the slight saddening undertone that slipped through. He said nothing, not wanting to make it palpable and bring her down. 

“It’s perfect.” 

She met his hues and blushed, a shy smile gracing her lips. 

He then approached her, worry coming back to him. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here?” 

“Sihtric.” She placed a hand on his arm, the gesture meant to reassure him. “I promise, it’s alright.” 

“I really owe you.” 

She gave him a gentle squeeze before letting him go. “Come on, let me give you the grand tour.” With her pet now out of her arms, strutting around without a care in the world, Liliann guided Sihtric around from the living room to her kitchen, bathroom and lastly her bedroom. 

“I figured you might want a proper bed after so long. I’ll just plop on the couch.” 

Sihtric stood still, refusing to become the reason she would also be losing her bed – on top of gaining an unwanted roommate. 

“You’re not kicking me out. I pass out in the living room all the time anyway. The bed is just for decoration at this point. Might as well be used.” She shrugged, nonchalantly, wanting to convince him all was well. “You need to a comfortable place to sleep, Sihtric. Take the bed, it’s fine. I promise.”  

He stared at it, the covers and pillows neatly propped – the room was simple and held all the necessities. It wasn’t too extravagant, and yet still held some kind of comfort to its atmosphere. 

She watched him, trying to understand the emotions that were written across his face. 

The scene broke down when Aramis cried from the kitchen – he was getting hungry. 

Liliann cleared her throat, scratching at the back of her head, catching the man’s attention. “Hmm, why don’t you take a shower- or a bath, whichever you prefer. I have towels ready for you on the counter already and your clothes are in this box over by the dresser. H-hopefully they still fit.” She started taking steps backwards, leaning against the door frame. “I’ll go see what’s up with the little fur ball in the meantime.” 

She was walking away when Sihtric grabbed her wrist, forcing her to a halt.  

He didn’t have to say anything – for once, she was able to see what he was going to say and stopped him. “You don’t have to thank me Sihtric. I’m glad you’re here. Truly. Enjoy your freedom, will ya?” 

He nodded, squeezing her hand gently. “I will.” 

She gave him a soft smile, placing her free hand on the one he held her with before walking away, her heart in her throat. 

He watched her, his shoulders dropping, his heart pounding in his ears – conflicted.  

      The steam of the bathroom had escaped once the door opened. Sihtric quietly made his way back to the bedroom while Liliann was preparing the couch with sheets and pillows. 

She had taken the time to change into her pj’s - a worn out t-shirt with man’s sweats - and had gotten some extra blankets for him. 

She held a couple and walked into the slim hall to her bedroom when she found him looking through some of his boxes. 

“You look refreshed.” She watched him as he got up to his feet to face her; he looked relaxed, all the heaviness of today washed away. 

He ruffled his hair, his fingers passing smoothly through the strands, still damp from the water. “It was the best shower I’ve had in a very long time.”  

She chuckled, happy to see him this way. “Glad to hear considering the water pressure isn’t all that great.” 

“It was better than what I had, believe me.” 

She walked to the bed, her arms busy with additional covers. “I brought you some extra blankets. Wasn’t sure if you ran hot or cold...”  

Her voice trailed off into silence, only now having noticed their proximity. Her mouth hung slightly open, her fingers digging into the fabric of the sheets as it stood between them. She was struck with the way his bi-colored gaze bore into her, her breath held by the depth of his hues. 

They were pulled back when noise came from the living room – Aramis was keeping himself busy. 

Liliann cleared her throat and turned around, placing the blankets on the bed. Sihtric remained still, watching her move without saying anything. He was unable to break away, taken in by the leisurely demeanor she wore; he couldn’t help himself but study how the cotton hung across her figure – if he held her, if he tightened his hold onto the fabric of her clothes, they could hug her, and he would be able to trace every spec, every curve, that stood beneath him. Her hair had fallen over her shoulders, her bangs brought up with a clip to her scalp – he felt the need to run his fingers through them, to feel their softness against his skin. And then to feel her skin warm under his touch as he hugged her close.  

Liliann turned around to find him staring at her. 

He looked taller, she thought. 

All within their silence, he approached her prudently until his left hand rested on her cheek, the other placed on her waist. Her lungs were numb, unable to breathe, from the physical contact – she couldn’t remember the last time she had been touched like this.  

Emotions were now in overdrive, having subdued all rationale into complete oblivion. 

They locked eyes, incapable of breaking away as if she was paralyzed by the colors of his irises; she fell into their shades, letting them embrace her with undescribed sentiments carved into the thin lines as they ghosted over her. 

Breathing in the tension, he leaned down, drawn by the desperate need to kiss her. The feeling almost palpable, his lips already tingled. 

From her waist, his left hand traveled down to her hip, gently grasping her shirt as he pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, his breath tickling her lips while her heart pounded with such strength, she could feel her ribcage crack, in dire need to be free from its confine. 

A slight movement from her, her nose brushed against his – a feather touch. He tilted his head down to see her fingers hovering over his chest, as if to hold herself up. The cupid bow of her upper lip, the hint of her dimple on her right cheek – he wanted to feel it, to kiss it, to see it sculpting her skin when smiling. 

The control was held with such great strength, he hated himself for it. 

Yet, he couldn’t let go. 

He couldn’t abandon his resolve to kiss her – he didn’t want to. 

But he wasn’t capable either of pursuing his desire, as if he was held up by strings, as if a wall was separating them. 

He held her firmly, his thumb tracing over the hidden dimple as he held her jaw. The warmth of his touch made her quiver, her knees almost giving out. He lifted her head up to him again, making her open her eyes which silently begged him for more. 

The unspoken emotions that hovered across the dried ink of their letters, the ones that were captured and incased within the sealed envelopes, seeped through with every breath, the air growing thicker. 

Her hands carefully climbed to reach him – her fingertips peeked at the hem of his shirt against his neck, making him shiver from her touch. 

Just one more nudge and he could succumb to his want, to feel her lips pressed against his. They were so close yet felt so far away. 

She caught the pendant he wore, her gaze averting to it as Sihtric watched her play with it. She captured the cord and gently tugged, pulling him down to her – she could feel his lips finally hover over hers, like a shadow, ready for a firmer touch. 

She was lacking his sense of control while she gathered her courage, moving her lips softly over his. 

His grip on her hip tightened, his hand digging into the fabric of her shirt as it rested against her skin. His left remained on her cheek, his thumb tracing over her jawline as they hid within the locks of her hair.  

And when he finally met her, when she could finally fully feel his lips pressed against hers, ready to dive into this state of yearning – they were suddenly interrupted by a loud knock on the door, forcing them to pull away.  

The heat exuded from their closeness vanished from the simple percussion of the door. 

They stood still for a moment, simply staring at each other while their chests heaved; reality fell on them, like a glass ceiling falling from its root and straight onto them, shattering on impact. 

He was knocked out. 

He noticed the pink tint of her cheeks, the slightly parted lips, and the look in her eyes was yet to be understood though, he swore he saw an outline of disappointment painted within them. 

The door knocked again, the noise resonating with them once more. 

The moment gone, she walked away, leaving him to pull himself together. He took a seat on the bed, elbows to his knees as he held himself in thought, yelling at himself for what transpired. 

He heard her footsteps get closer to him and finally looked up to see her standing at the bedroom’s entrance. 

“Who was at the door?” He was a little bit agitated – the knocks reminding him of his childhood, of the roughness of his past. 

“Just a delivery... I ordered some knitting stuff. I-I ran out.” She leaned against the threshold while he remained sitting at the edge of her bed. 

An awkward silence settled in the room.  

She still felt the ghost of his lips pressed on hers – she pinched her bottom lip while they remained quiet and looked at him as he stared down his lap onto the floor. 

Her mouth moved, trying to break the stillness that infiltrated their bubble.  

“Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.” 

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’ll let you be then...”  

She was about to turn away when he called for her. She just as swiftly pivoted back, hopeful. 

He stumbled on his words, trying to find a way to speak without causing any strain. “About earlier- I didn’t mean to overstep-” 

She interrupted him, knowing where he was going.  

Her heart broke. 

“You didn’t. O-overstep, I mean...”  

She gave him half a smile, hoping to mask the ache in the pit of her stomach, wishing he would simply get the message and run to her. 

He did. 

And he was dying to jump on his feet and grab her, but he couldn’t push himself to do it. 

He felt undeserving. 

The guilt crippled him, thinking he had taken advantage of her even though he knew she wanted this as well. 

He couldn’t risk losing her, of making things more complicated – even though they weren’t. 

She gulped down, her head down as she pushed hair strands behind her ear before going for the hem of her shirt, her nervous habit apparent. 

She then looked up to meet his eyes, solemn. “Goodnight, Sihtric.” 

“Goodnight, Liliann.” She left him be as she made her way back to the living room, a bee line straight for the couch, while holding back her tears and wrapping her arms around herself. 

She told herself she was being ridiculous for feeling this heartbroken over a kiss that never was.  

She took her seat and laid down facing the backrest, covering herself tightly with her eyes shut close. 

He sighed, falling against the mattress and stared up at the ceiling, cursing under his breath for wanting to let his emotions take over.  

He could still feel the tingle of her lips on his, his fingertips missing the warmth of her skin. 

‘Dearest Sihtric, it’s that time of the year again. Christmas is right around the corner and I’m scrambling to figure things out. I might have to work over the holidays – I'm waiting to receive my schedule – and to be honest, I think it’s better than to be alone. Aramis will be without me, but he is used to it, and I don’t think he notices it anyways. I wonder what Christmas would be like if we ever get to celebrate it together – any traditions you want to share? There are a few I remember growing up... It’s been harder every year, but now that we’ve met, that I have you in my life, the holidays don’t feel so alone. I hope it’s the same for you. Maybe one day, if we ever meet – when you get out of there, we could celebrate together. Nothing lavish – I'm sure Aramis would love to meet you. What do you think?’ 

      He had walked through the front door when he found Liliann in the middle of decorating for the holidays. 

While Sihtric had been out all day, she took the opportunity to fetch - within her parents’ storage unit - the family Christmas tree alongside some of the decorations they had left behind. It was a challenge to climb the stairs of her building with the heavy items back and forth, let alone having made it fit within her hatchback. 

Unintentionally hiding away, she had heard him and stopped what she was doing, popping her head from behind the tree. “You’re back!”  

He jumped, startled at the suddenness of her voice echoing within her living room; she widened her eyes, apologetic of her outburst. “S-sorry. Did not mean to scare you.” 

His hand pressed to his chest; he breathed out a smile to her. “That’s alright.” He started removing his jacket, his gaze finally taking note of the clutter surrounding his friend. “What’s all this?” 

“I thought since the holidays were approaching, I might as well get a head start on the decorations, and stuff.” A practiced answer; she had hoped he wouldn’t notice. She moved from where she stood, her hands busy with a set of small colorful light strings, as she continued. “You know how Aramis likes toying with the ornaments.” She gave him a nervous chuckle, trying to mask the anxiety hammering inside her chest. 

Sihtric had quickly taken notice of her pet at the mention of his name, the creature stretched out on his back and asleep on the couch. And instead of saying anything to discourage the apparent effort Liliann was putting for him, he smiled, even though he knew the truth; he was aware she hadn’t gotten into the holiday spirit as of late, with her family spread apart. He remembered the letter that told him of such predicament, the words spilling out her lonesome secret – her lack of need to decorate.  

And so, he knew she was doing this for him – for Liliann, it was all in the hopes it would ease his transition, bring some cheer back into his life. 

She went on, desperate to break the tension. “To be honest… I-I don’t even know why I bother.” Another anxious huff escaped her, her rambling habit taking over. “My parents are doing their own thing again this year and my sister will be with her in-laws now, a-and I’ll probably be given a shift or something at the hospital, so I won’t be here anyways…” Having brought herself down, she dropped the garland from her hands and wiped her palms on her sides. She looked away from him, ashamed. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, dropping her arms as she faced the kitchen. “I’m gonna go make some tea.” She rushed away from him, leaving him to look around at the mess in the room. He appreciated the effort she was putting in for him, yet he felt heavy.  

Last night’s moment, in the shadows of today’s events, he felt weight on his shoulders. 

He eventually joined her at her table where he found her sitting with her mug on the table alongside her delivery box from yesterday opened in front of her.  

He sighed, taking a seat. 

They welcomed the silence like a third friend. Her gaze was glued to the steam floating from her cup, her teeth nibbling the skin inside her mouth – she had a question burning her tongue. 

“Did you go see her?” 

She had spoken so softly, it took him a moment to register her words; he nodded. “It’s official. The papers have been signed.”  

She frowned as she met him. “The divorce papers?”  

He nodded once again. “I thought she had sent them to you months ago.” 

“She never did.” 

“Oh god. I’m so sorry.” Remorse settled in the pit of her stomach. She grabbed her mug, pulling it towards her. “She came to see me and shoved the envelope in my face, telling me to bring it to you. I-I told her it wasn’t my responsibility, and she should do it herself if she wanted the papers signed... I’m sorry, I should’ve just taken them.” 

“It’s not your fault. She shouldn’t have put that on you.” He held her gaze, and he could see anguish coloring her eyes. “It is done now either way, so all is well.” 

She took a sip of her tea, bending her legs against her chest.  

He wanted to move away from talking of his ex – the sour subject having left him with a bitter aftertaste. 

And so, his eyes settled on the box in front of him. “Your package?” 

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She resettled in her seat, placing her mug back on the table. “Hmm, y-yes. Just some new yarn and I got a second pair of needles, just in case y-you wanted to give it a try... as a hobby.” She slid them to him, timid. He chuckled and thanked her as he took them. 

They were disturbed by the whining of her cat, the poor feline caught in the abandoned light strings. 

Liliann leaned sideways to see what had happened. 

“Damn it.” She muttered under her breath and quickly got up to help him while Sihtric remained seated, his eyes venturing back to the box and the needles in front of him. 

His mind wandered back to what his ex had said about his friend, making him angry in return against the insults. 

He had regretted the events of today and had wished he would’ve stayed put instead – at least spending it with Liliann. 

He was brought out of thought when she came back with her cat in her arms. “I think he is lonely. My company doesn’t seem to suffice anymore.”  

He smirked, a light huff running down his tongue. “Well of course, he needs a friend to get tangled in the lights with – right buddy?” He scratched under the cat’s chin, inciting a whine from the little one. 

She smiled at his words, watching him entertain her pet with her heart in her throat. “I have been thinking about maybe getting a second one, to keep him company.” 

“It would be a nice Christmas present for him.” He lifted his eyes to her, never letting go of the soft smile he wore. “For you too as well.” 

She nodded, reciprocating the affection. “Yes, I guess so.” 

Aramis then wiggled out of her arms, throwing another whine at her as he jumped to the floor, scurrying himself away. 

A small laugh escaped Sihtric as he got up to his feet; Liliann remained still, watching him. 

“I’m gonna go shower.” 

“O-okay.” He was walking out, just about to disappear into the hallway when she jumped as well, calling for him. “Sihtric?” Standing up, her fingers went for her shirt, her habit nitpicking the fabric. “A-about the divorce… How are you holding up?” 

He pondered before answering. “I’m okay. I’m relieved, I guess.”  

“G-great! I-I mean that it’s all sorted now, a-and that it’s a good thing its over- that you got closure- that you got her out of your system.” She couldn’t seem to stop, her foot digging deeper into her mouth. 

He raised his brow, confused. “That I got her out of my system?” 

“We-well, yea. You s-slept with her right?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, already striding with her follow ups. “Y-you were gone all day-” He didn’t answer, the clumsy moment forcing her to jump, ready to face her train. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, I just… She hurt you the first time around. I don’t want her to do it again if you’re thinking of getting back together with her… You deserve better.” 

He sighed, understanding the sentiment behind her words. She worried for him, and he appreciated it. “We’re not getting back together.” No relief seemed to cross her. “I promise. She’s the last person I want in my life right now.” He was about to walk away when he stopped, owing the last piece of truth of his day to her. “But yea... You could say, I got her out of my system.”  

She felt a percussion hitting her right in the chest. With a hitched breath, she swallowed the lump lodged in her throat – though it remained stuck. “G-good. That’s good- for the closure I mean.” She was hiding her jealousy and had hoped he wouldn’t notice. She gave him a reassuring smile as he walked away with the same facial expression. Once gone, she cursed at herself, under her breath, as she fell back on her seat, her thick socks almost making her slip in the process. 

Her head turned to her poorly decorated tree and the mess surrounding it, cursing at herself again. “You’re such an idiot, Lil… ugh, this is stupid.” She exhaled heavily, saddened and annoyed at herself. She bit down her tongue, holding back her tears. She should be happy his ex was out of his life, but the small twig of envy embedded in her, burnt her the way a paper cuts through skin. She chugged down a sip of her tea and got up, having the sudden urgent need to put everything away - not wanting to finish her task of adding some merriment to her home. 

There was no point to it anymore, she thought. 

'Dearest Liliann, I have some good news – I have a parole hearing coming up. Well, it’s yet to be good news depending on the outcome. I don’t know what to expect from the board. Whatever their verdict, I hope you will remain by my side as I’m sure I will need you... Sorry if I sound dramatic. If the hearing fails and my sentence remains, will you still write to me?’  

      “Oh, s-sorry!” She was startled by her sight, and quickly backed herself against the frame of her door while trying to turn around, only to end up almost knocking herself out along the way. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.” She had walked into her bedroom to find Sihtric doing a morning workout by her bed, surprising her. 

He stopped at her entrance and got up to his feet, meeting her with a relaxed beam across his face. “You didn’t.” He was catching his breath, the smile on his lips remaining as he stood tall in front of her, shirtless. 

She attempted to avert her gaze elsewhere, suddenly timid at his stance, desperate to spit out words for distraction. “T-training for something?” Her eyes kept gravitating towards him, a coy pull she couldn’t resist. 

He chuckled, the sound coaxing a sightless tremor to her knees, as he picked up his shirt from the bed. “A habit I picked up.” She bit the inside of her lip, her teeth pressing harshly into the skin, as heat crept up to her cheeks and painted them pink. Flustered, she scrunched her face, eyes closed, as her hand stretched out to scratch the back of her head, tilting downwards. “I-I thought you were in the shower- I was going to pick up my s-scrubs for work...” 

The sly smirk on his face was not letting him go as he noticed the redness in her cheeks and the stammer on her tongue. The shirt now covering him, he approached Liliann as he spoke up, trying to hide his amusement at her reaction. “It’s alright, I was heading out to the kitchen anyways.” 

She nodded, her head lifted back up to him as she cleared her throat and pushed herself away when he stood in front of her, needing to walk through the door. She could barely set her eyes on him as he was watching her; the second of eye contact dried her throat, the blush on her cheeks deepening into her veins as butterflies settled in the pit of her stomach.  

Once he was behind her, walking away, the breath she had held hostage escaped her. She smacked her cheeks, embarrassed by the way she had greeted him, and hoped to god he didn’t notice – though the haunted thoughts in the back of her head were telling her otherwise. She took a moment, gathering her senses while taking deep breaths to calm herself. She hated how rattled she had been; the scene replayed itself inside her mind, the results coming out differently than what she had just experienced. 

Once dressed in her uniform, ready for the day, she made her way back into the living room to find him walking out of the kitchen just as she was heading out. 

He stared, caught off guard at her appearance. She caught him, frowning in worry. “I-is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?” He shook his head, his startling jump disintegrating. “No... I forgot you were a nurse.” 

She mouthed a silent “Oh”, her instinct pushing her for the comical approach. “I don’t blame you. It is a forgettable detail.” She shrugged her shoulders, still jesting. “Even I forget sometimes.” 

He chuckled at her comment; she grinned, content with herself she made him laugh.  

She jumped back in, her demeanor, now calm. “I need to head out for work. Make yourself comfortable, alright?” 

Sihtric grew uncomfortable, unsure of her proposal. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying?”  

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? You’ve been here two days already.” She picked up her purse and put on her coat before reaching for her boots, all the while trying to reassure him. 

He wasn’t convinced. “Yes, but you were here, with me.” 

Liliann sighed; concern etched across her face. “Sihtric, I promise you, treat this place like it’s your own. For as long as you need.” 

His shoulders fell, the uncertainty in his posture bringing her closer to him. He ran his fingers through his hair, the heaviness of her belief in him weighing him down. “You really trust me to leave me here by myself?” 

She chuckled while patting him on the shoulder. 

“I trust you with my life.” 

Her words had slipped, like a body rapidly falling on ice, before she even realized what they had meant. She blushed out of embarrassment, her eyes wide as she stared at Sihtric. She then stumbled on her feet, rushing towards the door to make her way out without even giving him the chance to respond to her remark. “I’ll see you at the end of the day. If there is anything, call me!” 

He reluctantly nodded, thanking her again with a softness to his tone before she disappeared on the other side of the door. 

The sudden silence that came with her exit left him overwhelmed, the sudden emotion crashing violently like waves would, into the bottom of a cliff under a heavy storm. Guilt grabbed him, unsettling feelings shaking him, haunting him almost.  

The thoughts rummaging inside his mind pushed him to believe that her generosity was only there on behalf of his manipulation towards her. It left a bitter taste on his tongue, his heart growing heavy the longer he pondered over it while his stare leapt around him.  

Aramis came to him while lost in his head. The cat purred against his leg, brushing his fur against the fabric of his sweats. Sihtric picked him up before glancing around the room again, his eyes following the trail of boxes his ex had left until they led him to the Christmas tree, the ornamental statue feebly standing with pride. 

He sighed, taking a moment for himself.  

He revisited the last couple of days – from the moment he finally met her at his parole hearing, to the night they almost kissed, and to the night after that.  

The boulder grew heavy on his shoulders, the longer he pictured her in his mind’s eyes. He cared for her – that, he couldn’t deny. Yet, he knew himself undeserving of her, the anguish gnawing at him from the inside out. He knew she was breaking her neck for him, and he couldn’t let it go on any longer. 

Aramis brought him out of his thoughts as the pet jumped out of his arms, the little one running away to sit at the coffee table. Sihtric approached him as he fetched his old phone out of his pocket. Dialing one of the very few phone numbers he could remember, he stopped when he noticed a box hiding under the surface of the table. 

He bent down and picked it up, a small smile gracing his lips as he recognized the envelopes he had been using for his letters. Liliann had kept every single one of them – like he had done – including the first one she had received by accident. Looking through the stack of papers, he also found his ex’s ring, the piece of jewelry having been given back to his friend for safe keeping. 

Sihtric’s heart broke remembering how their friendship came to be, when Liliann had received mail that was intended for the apartment across the hall. It was when Sihtric’s ex had rejected the letter in question, not wanting anything more to do with him, not because he was in jail but because she had someone else on the other side of that door, that Liliann decided to respond back and let him know – out of the goodness of her heart.  

They had kept in touch since then. 

Which now, he had almost wished they shouldn’t have; he should not have answered - he should’ve just let it be. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, his head leaned back to the ceiling as he fell on the couch. Aramis jumped on his lap, creating himself a comfortable seat. 

The man, traipsing back into his mind let himself wonder; she was one of the good things that had happened in his life. She was caring and he could confess his liking of her, but the lump lodged behind his ribcage, the one that echoed across his limbs from bones to marrow – he was not able to continue his thought, a distant voice shaking him back to reality.  

He startled the cat from his sudden movement as Sihtric sat up, looking down at his phone as he realized the number he composed had answered.  

He brought it to his ear, taking a second as a breath silently escaped. 

“Hey, Finan? It’s me.” 

‘Dear Sihtric, my name is Liliann. This letter mistakenly arrived at my door when I believed it was meant for your roommate? Or partner?  I thought I should let you know, out of courtesy, but she refused your letter, citing that she no longer wanted to be in contact with you. I’m sorry about this. Hope things will get better where you are.’  

      The jiggle of the keys into her lock had stirred the cat awake, the pet rushing into hiding under the Christmas tree. 

The door opening, Liliann walked in, in complete exhaustion; another hardening day at work, relief washed through as she stepped into her quaint home.  

Closing the door, she stood still for a moment as she caught her breath - the broken lift was going to be the death of her, she thought; the stairs had been her Everest, always climbing them yet barely able to conquer. 

Only when her breathing settled did she finally take note of the silence surrounding her; her eyes averted to the empty spaces. 

All of Sihtric’s boxes were gone. 

Perhaps he emptied them, she thought. Maybe it is silent because he was simply throwing them away, she told herself. 

Yet, she couldn’t help but call for him, her voice carrying the smallest of echoes. “Sihtric?”  

The eerie quietness unsettled her. It was different than before. It was colder somehow, lonelier. 

She took a few more steps inside, until she noticed an envelope resting on her coffee table, her name etched eloquently across its surface. 

Her heart dropped, dread aggravating the discomfort in her stomach. 

The bags she had been holding in both hands, the groceries she had picked up for the simple task of wanting to make a home cooked meal for him, clattered on the floor with the bottom thudding softly against her rug. She had thought it would have been nice to make dinner for two, for once; it was the simple want of recreating her childhood holiday traditions and sharing them with him. To spread some cheer in this damp place, to give him some spirit after the roughness of his last few years. 

Hands trembling, she reluctantly picked up the envelope and slowly opened it before pulling out the sealed letter. 

My dearest Liliann, this is my last letter… 

She couldn’t go on, her eyes stuck to the first sentence, paralyzed. The words resonated within her brain, trying to fully comprehend their significance until they struck her right into the pit of her chest, a sudden sharpening pain striking her ribcage. 

Unable to hold on any longer, the paper was let go as it flew downwards until it softly reached the carpet in a silent swoop. 

It was as if her body had given out, her knees buckling under the weight of her heartbreak.  

Devastation settling at her core, a staggered breath stroke her lungs as her throat choked, ready to erupt under a dawning new reality; it wasn’t the dim lights of the tree, which added a melancholic glow to her living room, that broke her down. 

It wasn’t the emptiness of her apartment that tore her apart. Something was amiss, odd and suddenly unfamiliar, but it wasn’t the state of his place that left her to drown.  

Hope having vanished, warmth having dissipated from her home, she was left bare and desolate. 

It was crippling.  

No longer strong enough to stand, she sat on her knees, holding in her tears as her mind was disjointing the last few days she shared with him. She wondered if she had done something wrong, something so upsetting it made him want to leave. 

She didn’t dare read the rest of the letter, too frightened of what the content could hold. 

But if she only kept going, would she have found his penmanship detailing his apology for leaving her, how he was grateful for her kindness and generosity but how, as well, it was best if he remained away from her. How she was better off living her life without him, how he was asking for her forgiveness at leaving so abruptly, and that he wishes her the best. At how he would forever be grateful for the hope she gifted him and how the letters had become the only source of happiness in his dingy world.  

‘You’ve given me so much, Liliann, and I hope, despite the way I have left, you will accept this parting gift… Wishing you the best with your future.’ 

The purring of her cat caught her attention as he reached for her, pressing himself against her knee. She picked him up and started stroking his fur while settling him against her chest. Shattered, she exhaled a deep breath as she looked down at him, her voice carrying a tremor at the back of her throat. “I guess it’s just the two of us again…” Her fingers reached for his chin, scratching softly before her gaze wandered around until they fell back to her pet again. 

“You’ll never leave me Aramis, right?” 

The dejection laced into her words was met with a gentle purring. She frowned when she saw her cat did not move. 

The softest of calls tickled her ears again and she lifted her head, following the unfamiliar sound. 

A shaken breath escaped her lungs, and tears swiftly escaped their confine as they stroked her cheeks. 

Liliann stared at the box by her tree while hugging Aramis closer to her.  

Within the silence of her living room, the noise resonated once again. 

She could see it, but believing it was still a challenge to grasp. 

It had done it once more, her heart shattering into pieces as she silently cried. 

Across the room, a rescue kitten peeked out of its box, calling for whoever would listen. 

It was but a singular note that had set up the rest of her night. 

“Meow.” 

-----------------------

xoxo

[lonely-eli]

Trippin' On Hallucinogenics - Chapter 8

Note: We're nearing the end of Year 1! There will be short hiatus after next chapter as I get everything set up for the rest of the fic! (and I mean SHORT hiatus)

Barty made it a habit of going to the Slytherin common room after dark, it wasn’t hard to sneak over there once he had learned the routes that all the teachers take. He only tripped once, falling across the floor gracefully, and making a loud thumping noise before scrambling up and running the rest of the way.

“You’re ridiculous,” Evan said when Barty told him the tale.

“You love me,” Barty replied.

Pranks had been happening all year, thanks to “the Marauders”, but Barty had never been the victim of one, he managed to accidentally avoid the one they pulled on the Ravenclaws by falling asleep in the Slytherins house instead of his own. The Ravenclaws all woke up to feathers for hair, Pandora laughed and wore it in stride, even waving and thanking Remus and Sirius.

“Pandora!” Lily Evans greeted, waving at her, “Hey!”

Barty and Lily’s relationship hadn’t grown since that first encounter, however, Lily’s relationship with Pandora had seemed to grow.

Mostly everyone was fond of Pandora, despite her being a Rosier, something Barty attributed to Pandora being Pandora. Sirius tried to avoid her because she hung out with Regulus.

Barty stood patiently to the side while Pandora talked to the muggle born, chatting animatedly about the different kinds of unicorns there were. Barty was unaware there were multiple kinds. Xenophilius stood behind Pandora, he had taken to following her around like a lost dog after Christmas. Barty glared at him and he quickly retreated to the Ravenclaw table.

Eventually, Pandora finished with Lily and waved to the Gryffindors before walking over to the Slytherin table. Barty groaned, his stomach agreeing with him, but followed her.

“Evan,” Pandora said to her brother, he glanced at her in acknowledgement, “We are getting a letter from father today.” “Fantastic,” Evan grumbled.

Barty cocked his head, this was the first time that he had seen or heard Pandora or Evan acknowledge that their parents existed beyond going home.

They hadn’t gotten any letters from their parents, Barty realized, his eyes widening slightly, and he hadn’t seen Pandora send a letter at all.

“Barty?” Pandora asked, clapping a hand in front of his face. He blinked out of his stupor.

“What?”

“I asked if you had gotten word from your mother recently, about us being able to hang out over the summer,” Pandora said.

Barty had gotten a letter from his mother… and father, it was a definite no. “You may not hang out with those bastard children” was the exact words of the letter, something his father had added no doubt. Barty told Pandora as much, and she pouted.

“Poop,” she said at the same time Evan finally looked over at the two of them.

“So sneak out.”

“What?” Barty asked, terrified at the thought of it.

“Sneak out, you’re always going on about how you want to fight against your father, so do it. We’ll meet you halfway.”

Barty pictured his father catching him and standing over him with his wand, he pictured falling to the ground, locked together, but this time his head hits something and he slowly bleeds out while his father stands over him, laughing.

“I—I can’t.”

“Your loss,” Evan said with a shrug.

My loss.

Regulus finally took notice of them, “Go sit down.”

Pandora and Barty obeyed, but not before Pandora gave Regulus a hug, Regulus hugged her back tightly.

***

“Regulus,” Sirius started. Barty and Evan got in front of their friend quickly.

“Leave him alone, muggle lover” Evan snapped. Sirius glared at Evan.

“I’m just trying to talk to my brother.”

“He doesn’t want to.”

They were trying to leave the Quidditch pitch after watching the Hufflepuff team practice when they were ambushed by Sirius, and an uncertain Remus. The taller boy was playing with his hair, with his other hand in his pocket, looking ready to jump them if they messed with Sirius.

Regulus was frozen behind Barty and Evan.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Barty repeated, “So leave us alone.”

“Regulus—”

Pandora wasn’t there because she had managed to escape and study alone in the library, but Barty had been dragged along.

“You’re just going to let them talk for you,” Sirius demanded, “Please, Reg, I just want to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Regulus found his voice.

“There’s so much,” Sirius protested. He started to walk forward—

“Flipendo!” Barty shouted. Sirius was forced backwards. Remus caught him and pulled his wand out of his pocket.

“You little—” Sirius snarled.

“Expelliarmus!” Remus cast Barty's wand, slipped out of his hand and flew to him. Remus caught it and twirled it in his hand like it was a sword. Evan took out his own wand, but Remus was quicker, “Expelliarmus!”

Barty watched Remus’s wand movements, Evan watched his wand fly out of his hand. Evan stared at his empty hand before jumping on Sirius.

Sirius grunted and started punching Evan back, he hit Evan in the eye. Evan kicked him in the stomach. Remus leapt in to try and grab Evan and pulled him off of Sirius, but it seemed like he was fighting just as much as Evan and Sirius were.

“BARTY,” Evan snapped. Barty ran into the action and did his best. He’d never been in a fight. He punched Remus in the stomach, weakly.

Remus kicked him in the privates, Barty just managed to twist so that his foot connected with Barty’s stomach. Sirius grabbed hold of Barty, Evan tackled Sirius. The three of them went sprawling, with Remus helping Sirius up immediately.

“SIRIUS AND REMUS,” McGonagall's voice carried over the pitch. She was striding over to them, “I don’t know why I expect better of you at this point.”

Barty took a second confused, then realized how this must look to McGonagall. Two second-year Marauders standing over two first years who really hadn’t done that much. Barty put on his best face and slowly got to his feet, his stomach hurt from where Lupin had hit him. Evan had the beginnings of a black eye. They both looked around for Regulus, and he was still standing over them staring at McGonagall.

“Professor—”

“I don’t want to hear it, twenty points from Gryffindor each and two days detention for all of you,” McGonagall sighed and pinched her temples then muttered, “Making me take points from my own house— All of you come with me to Pomfrey.”

“We’re fine, Professor,” Barty said, gesturing to himself and Evan. Really, he didn’t want to go to Pomfrey.

“I will not have students walking around bruised!” McGonagall said with a glance at Lupin, who shrugged.

“Yes, Professor.”

“Now, Mr. Black,” McGonagall said, addressing Regulus, “I suggest that you head off to dinner.”

“Yes, Professor,” Regulus said, head down.

Barty, Evan, Sirius, and Remus all walked to Pomfrey like little ducklings behind McGonagall.

“Oh dear,” Pomfrey said, when she saw the dirty boys. They all had reached a stage of embarrassment through the awkward silence in the halls, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

“Barty Crouch,” Barty said.

“Well nice to meet you, I’m Madame Pomfrey. These three already know me.”

She smiled at Lupin, who smiled back, but looked very tired.

“What has Evan come in for?” Barty asked, he couldn’t imagine the reason why his friend could have needed to come to the nurse.

“Failed Potions experiment,” Evan said with a shrug, “It blew back in my face.”

Pomfrey sat them all down and started healing them one by one, bringing Lupin’s face back to the scarred, but not bruised, mess it was before. Evan got his eye back, and Barty’s stomach felt less like it was crushed into itself.

“There, good as new,” she said with a flourish of her wand.

“Thank you, Madame,” Barty said, going back to the manners his mother taught him.

“I don’t want to see any of you back in here for a fight,” Madame ordered. They all nodded, “Now you’re free to go to dinner, but Remus may I talk to you for a second?”

Lupin paled, Black looked at him nervously and murmured something to him. 

“Yes,” Lupin eventually said, “Don’t wait up for me.”

“I’ll save you some food,” Black said, bumping Lupin’s shoulder with his own. Lupin smiled.

Barty grabbed Evan away and took them over to the Great Hall.

“What happened?” Pandora asked when Barty sat down.

“Got into a fight,” Barty said with a shrug, he glanced over at Evan who was whispering something to Regulus.

“With who?” Emmeline asked, speaking up from her usual spot beside Pandora.

“No one important,” Barty said dismissively.

“Are we ready for finals?” Pandora asked.

Barty groaned and leaned back on the bench.

“Kill me now.”

[chweverni]

Mate (pt.3) - what are we?

pairing; joshua hong x reader

synopsis; joshua asked you to keep a promise like no other. lately he's been too mushy and kind to you, or are you just too into this? he really left you wondering, what are we?

word count; ~1.4k words (new milestone!!)

author's note; i wanna thank @minhui896 for their huge support in this series aaa >.< im new to writing on tumblr so your comments and reblogs really make my day!! read part 2 here!

-

it's exam week right now. during this period, you normally shut off any kind of distractions and tend to study alone at most times, so you've been using that as an excuse to ignore the obvious bump in the road, joshua hong.

you two met up regularly after his birthday either at cafes, museums, the art room, math club, while going home (even though he lived on the opposite side of the city), arcades, you name it. and gradually, you realized that, your just a crush isn't just a crush anymore.

but we won't blame it on you though. joshua's been sending you really mixed signals lately. he would leave your favorite drink in your desk, along with cute notes which read, 'keep up this energy all day y/n! you got this :)' or 'is it just me cuz you look really bothered today? what's up?', which made your tooth rot pretty bad. because, how can someone keep up with being this adorable?

you suddenly decided it's best not to indulge in him for too long, because if you don't do well in the finals, your scholarship may be withdrawn, which you could not afford to lose.

your finals soon ended in a breeze, and the results came in pretty early. since it was just the homeroom period, you decided it's best to utilize this time to go check on the rankings. just this once. you thought to yourself as you shut your eyes hard while standing in front of the leaderboard. you felt the presence of someone else behind you and soon, some large hands covered your eyes.

"someone's checking up on their progress, i see?"

joshua. you sighed a sigh of relief. "don't ever jump up on me ever again! i will end you," you said, feeling his hands, in an attempt to nudge it away from your eyes. "care to explain why you've been m.i.a like for three weeks, y/n? do you have any idea on how worried i was? i thought you took yeon-du's attitude to heart!", joshua hurriedly said, and once again, you could see the pout on his face, even with your eyes shut. you turned around and removed his hands off of your face.

"why do you care for me so much?", you asked, and fuck, your heart felt like it was sinking. you hated how down bad you probably looked to joshua right now, but what's been done has been done. you stared at him with marble eyes. "because i do, y/n.", joshua replied, cupping your face with his hands, inching ever so close to you. you backed away, but the stupid wall hit your back. no where to go now.

"what are we?", you asked, grabbing one of his wrists with your hand, lifting it off your cheek. a tear made it's way down it right after. joshua looked at you intently. he halted for a moment, and then said, "that's not how you ask someone out, you dummy."

before you could even open your mouth to say something, he grabbed your shoulders and turned your body around to face the leaderboard. "oh look! miss y/f/n y/n placed first in the class! congrats love," joshua spoke, the last nickname being a smooth whisper to your ear.

what the fuck? you turned around just to see him walking away. you quickly paced to him and jabbed your hand in front of his body to stop him. "what did you just do?!", you asked, your blood finding its way all up to your cheeks. joshua flashed you a smile, handing you a torn piece of paper as he said, "you still owe me a wish, y/n. and you have a lot to make up for the three weeks of absence, remember? meet me here at 5 today!"

the paper had the address of a local restaurant, and well, how can one resist good food with a good friend?

-

you waited patiently at the table, tapping your nails on it to cure your boredom. what could possibly go wrong today? you thought to yourself. what if this is all just a stupid high school dare that joshua's been forced to do? what if, that was just his evil twin who tricked you into thinking that joshua, might, have the hots for you? while you busied yourself with those thoughts, joshua sat in front of you, smiling at your zoned out state.

"hi! i would like to talk to y/n; is she back from the underworld yet?", joshua spoke, as he slid a pink box towards you through the table. you flinched and grabbed the box to open it. it had a bracelet, with cute bunny charms in the middle. cute. you thought. "hello joshua! you didn't need to do this though, but did you make it yourself?", you asked him, your stomach releasing a thousand butterflies at the thought of wearing something your crush made for you.

joshua nodded. "i picked up this new interest recently, and i wanted to make one for you after i saw the bunny charms! reminded me of you.", he smiled. you couldn't hold your obvious smile back too, so you faced the ground, a bright red blush adorning your face. joshua chuckled. "what would you like to eat? we can take a walk near the beach afterwards! that'd be so fun!", joshua asked. you picked up the menu and voiced your orders to him.

while eating, some of the sauce stuck to the corner of your lips. you were telling joshua about why you weren't online for three whole weeks but you were interrupted by him wiping the sauce off of your face with a tissue. you nearly choked at the gesture, which left you coughing like crazy. joshua handed you a glass of water, as he softly rubbed your back.

you both decided to pay together, and headed outside towards the beach nearby. as you walked, your eyes landed on a small stall, selling cream buns. you absolutely loved cream buns. being unable you dragged joshua by hand towards the stall, asking for two right away. "my mom used to get me these as a kid; i still love them now! ah! i missed the smell so bad!", you squealed with excitement.

now it was joshua's turn to feel all mushy with love while he saw you absolutely devouring the food. you looked like a kid who was denied all her sugar rights by her mom. how can someone be this adorable? he questioned.

-

taking a walk in the beach had never felt this romantic. joshua agreed to take a few pictures of you on the beach, and you did the same. you both played with the seashells you collected and heck, you wondered if this was a date.

the sun was setting, and you were sat on the sand, your head laid on joshua's shoulder. "is this a date?", you asked, out of the blue, as you turned your head to look at him. "did you even confess to me, y/n?", joshua asked playfully. "forgive me for thinking you were gonna ask me out today.", you huffed crossing your arms and distancing your body away from him. he wrapped his arms around you and scooted you closer to him. "let's try this one more time, yeah?", he said.

"y/f/n y/n, will you go out with me, pretty please?", he asked, booping your nose with his index finger, his eyes forming crescent moons as he smiled.

"yes.", you replied short, inching your face closer to him, making your foreheads touch.

in no time, his lips crashed into yours, and your body felt like levitating. it finally happened. your crush likes you back, your scholarship was in fact, not withdrawn, and, thanks to your sweet boyfriend, both of you were made the new representatives of the math club. talk about relationship goals.

back to the kiss. it felt magical because he grabbed your hands and squeezed it tight in the midst of the kiss. and that made you lose your mind. you broke the kiss and hugged him tight. "thanks for today, my now-boyfriend, joshua hong!", you said with a smile.

-

back home, you decided to check up on your instagram. joshua had posted a few photos. as you swiped through the photos, you felt a sense of pride, cause you took them, obviously. but the collection also had your photos with him at the restaurant, which you thought was adorable. and the best part, the caption read,

proper date next time? @(your u/n)

let's just say your dopamine levels were really high all night.

-

ASSHSHS you've reached the end!! i hope you liked this final part. pls send me support as always <3

all creds to @chweverni only on tumblr!

[cloudbattrolls]

Setting the Snare

This drabble is preceded by Cutting Commentary and followed by Grey Tidings.

The best liars are those who know their misdeeds are safely obscured, and all they need do is stall and redirect blame. Yet Halvir made one crucial error. 

Artair shakes his head. "If you must pursue this thin ray of hope, then so be it. Let us hope the defense doesn't have any other outraged peons ready in the wings."

The muttering in the gallery continues for several moments until the judge bangs his gavel severely on the bannister, roaring for order. 

Artair seems unperturbed, merely brushing some unseen dust from his shoulder, while Hovend huddles into himself as much as possible.

More clinic staff are brought forward to state when they remember their breaks were and when they last saw the patient. Based on the various times given, the last nurse to see Calcit was Halvir. 

One of them struggles to remember when their break was considering everything that happened that night, both he and Halvir estimate they took their breaks around the same time but neither remembers seeing the other.

Indrid, tapping her chin. "Yet we do have one last corroboration. Mr. Valtop, if you don't mind reporting who and what you saw that night during and around your smoke break..."

Giorni dutifully takes the stand. He states that he can remember taking his smoke break out by the exit door to the alleyway near to the time of the victim's death. 

When he attempted to return to the clinic, however, he noted one of the mannequins was in his way. It was gesturing down the hallway, towards where the staff room and the victim's room were. 

He thought it kind of strange, but then again, those things are nothing but strange, and brushed it off by sidling past it. He didn't remember seeing any other staff in the hallway at the time, so he guesses the person responsible for the ward at that time was probably in the staff room on break.

Artair rolls his eyes at the mention of the mannequin, but dutifully does not interrupt the testimony.

The other nurse who took his break when Halvir did replies that he has some familiarity with the nanites, but he hasn't been trained specifically to use them yet. He notes in his employee record that he's been given preliminary training but has yet to complete the final training required. 

When Calcit died, he was working in a different ward, trying to replace someone's IV drip. He could hear the commotion, of course, but working on the opposite side of the clinic and not being on the crash team precluded him from doing much about it.

Indrid, nodding. "Can that be corroborated by the other staff?"

He nods. "Sure, that chief of security guy was in my ward when it all went down. He was checking for... I dunno, actually. He's kind of weird."

Yarrex steps right up to the witness stand, giving a salute to the judge and the defense. The judge is unamused. 

"Yes, yes, I was indeed checking that man's ward, he was assuredly there the whole time. I was trying to see if there were any water leaks in the area. You see, I had been hearing this odd-patterned series of drops on the ceiling. 

But there was no water damage! And mold is the greatest of foes we can face in a medical facility, aside from nanomachines that go berserk and eat people, but that is just how life is sometimes. Penicillin comes from mold, so, in a way, mold is also our greatest friend. A balance in all things."

The gallery is stunned into silence.

Indrid looks politely baffled but thanks him for his testimony, then looks grave.

"As we have eliminated the only other possibility...what remains must be the truth." She says, solemn. "It is as Mr. Arigah said; Mr. Urtyop could have been the only one to hack the nanomachines that night."

Artair shakes his head. "Nay, you've not proven that. What ye've proven is that we can say that your alleged suspect may have been the one to throw that phone into th' garbage. You've no evidence that was the item used to do your supposed 'hacking."

He taps a thick finger on the desk in front of himself for emphasis. "Can you rule out that this 'hack' was not done before the nanomachines were administered? Perhaps by any of the other people who visited the victim? A phone can be tossed out for any reason, including just because you feel like it."

Indrid sighs, but will concede he has a point. "Very well, Mr. Clonal. Yes, we can, as it counter to how they are designed.

They are preprogrammed with their commands if not being manipulated directly by miss Lovely or miss Wistim's psiionics, and as Mr. Urtyop himself attested to earlier when you questioned him, even their creators cannot alter them when they are inside a troll unless they are within range of them; it is not possible by normal methods."

She raises her eyebrows. "Who else do you think could have done it? One of the medical staff? They were the only ones who visited the patient." She asks him genuinely.

She hums. "As for your other question...true, a phone may be tossed out for any reason. But this phone is bare of any identifying features, stripped of all other information, in a distinctly suspicious manner. Miss Tynshu could attest to that, if you wish."

"So what, exactly, prevented someone using any other phone from doing it? As you suggest, any of the other staff that visited him could easily be a suspect," he sniffs, indifferent.

Indrid sighs. "Only those with sufficient knowledge of the nanites, Mr. Clonal."

"I don't need her to tell me what is obvious. Do you go around throwing out your old phones with personal information on them? I sure hope the galley tonight doesn't have any enterprising thieves in it, if so." He casts a glance at Halvir.

Indrid looks vaguely affronted. "I recycle all my phones, sir."

"Mister Urtyop, you stand here accused of an egregious crime. Not only does the defense allege that you played a part in the death of your patient, but they imply that you are a member of the Grey Mob. Do ye reject these accusations?"

Halvir nods. "Of course I do! What happened was a tragedy! I'm not a mobster, for god's sake, I wear my caste openly! I wouldn't attack my own patient!"

There's further muttering from the gallery, along with continued whispers about the Mob. 

Someone receives a phone call and steps out of the room.

"Anyone can wear their caste openly." The indigo points out patiently. "Whoever did this, if it was not you, could have easily had the motive discussed by Mr. Arigah; miss Wistim's recorded testimony from her interrogation is evidence that Mr. Interg was investigating a counterfeit jean smuggling ring, and evidence of such was also among his personal effects.

If not you, Mr. Urtyop, then who do you think could have hacked the nanites and killed him?"

"Why am I being told to play detective? This is outrageous!" Halvir protests. "I'm not going to randomly accuse other staff members! I thought miss Wistim was better than this!"

The crowd again begins to murmur, with distrustful glances now being thrown towards the defenses section of the court.

"I don't know anything about hacking or what-have-you, the most programming I ever did was making some flash-based games when I was younger. Why am I getting thrown under the bus just for doing my job?"

Indrid remains as calm as ever.

"Because you were the last person with Mr. Interg, Mr. Urtyop, the one who threw away that phone, and because these nanites did not malfunction on their own." She says simply. "If the phone was not used for hacking, then why did you throw it away?"

"It was old?" he shrugged. "Did you see the thing? I finally upgraded the other day and decided my break was as good a time as any to toss it out."

Indrid raises her eyebrows. "You had no idea it was capable of hijacking the nanotech?"

"Why on Alternia would I ever think an old flip phone capable of doing that?"

"Yet miss Tynshu says it is fairly simple." Muses Indrid. "Even someone with a basic grasp of the principles involved could be capable of it. Since it was capable of doing such, who do you think programmed it to do so? Are you claiming that you are being framed?"

"You still haven't even proven that phone did anything," Halvir retorts, frowning. "I'd say it feels more like I'm being used as a scapegoat, if miss Wistim wants to duck responsibility for losing a patient."

That rebuke earns a few gasps in the crowd. Artair snorts in appreciation.

At that moment, there is a commotion by the doors. They suddenly spring open, a visibly worried legislacerator carrying a husktop with him. He hustles over to Artair and whispers something into his ear. Artair blinks, whispers something back, then shakes his head.

"Much as I hate t' interrupt the defense's flounderin', your honor, we have interestin' news."

"And that is?" the judge asks, leaning forward in his chair.

"We have a... ugh... surprise witness. The damned Grey Mob itself got wind of th' accusations being thrown about the defense, and now they're in an uproar."

The courtroom, to a troll, is stunned into a vast moment of silence.

He had forgotten - as this entire affair had made Ullane remember - that all things must be answered for.

[basangtubig]

Chiw,

Hi! you might want to get some water. These thoughts that I wrote for the past few weeks and now dropping them.

---

When we met there 3 things my life in order of priority. Career, Gaming, and You. nothing else matters.

---

Sorry for the impulsive actions that I made causing other people to react. I can say my ass is calm as fuck now.

---

I’m a problem solver in nature. Working on one makes me feel alive it’s either from work or games or worst, to you. You are not a problem.

---

I miss your simplicity. I miss your cuteness, I miss your little Chiku-chiku things.

---

I didn't cheat but I was traitor, I betrayed you.

---

I thought I want you to not need me and want me instead but it was me that want that all this time.

---

I have this wall built around me to protect myself to the one who could only hurt me, You. I regret not breaking that down.

---

I want to confess to you everything without reservation, I already lost important part of myself what more to loose?

---

The thing is, you were good for me but I'm not to you.

---

I miss the cute little stupid things that you do and even though you know I have some money that I kept from you, you never took advantage for it. just a little :)

---

When I was playing The Witcher 3 and the story is about father and daughter(adapted) I had a wild thought that the name Cirilla or Zirael is a nice name for a daughter. This month December Witcher 4 trailer got revealed and your boy was so excited and happy then I got teary eyes and started to breakdown because you we are not there anymore to tell you how good the trailer was and calling me out that I have been replaying to trailer for a hundred of times and another kick is you will not be there when I will play that game. You will not be there thinking I'm kinda cheating because I'm going to a in-game brothel and looking at you side-eye without your permission.

I didn't say a thing on the names because I know having a kid is not ideal for us and a very sensitive topic to play around the idea on but yeah if do, I meant that names as a strong suggestions.

---

If given a chance to change anything, I will change how I reacted when the news broke. In James' classic fashion it would have been calm while doing those stupid shit preventing ruckus and headache I've cause to the people around me. But my thanks to all the people being patient and supported me during that time. It won't happen again.

I have this thought na ayaw mo makagawa ng kasalanan kasi I know how kind you are. I have this thought na you want me to take you by force, I felt that as a sliver of hope and chance but I'm afraid that, that is only me playing tricks on my head, looking for a positive in the sea of negatives. I was looking for a definite reason to believe in a hundred of doubts, I did compressed it down to minimum action without saying a word, with a little and small action from a single click of a button that will change our lives for the future.

---

I was ultra de-cluttering today and stumble on some naughty and nice notes when we were together, found my old notes and I wrote on my notebook what is love on my definition. It says kissing, fucking, cooking you grilled cheese, and some shit. I didn't really know how to love but I know you are mine. Which represents my relationship to you. As time goes by, as I go turning pages the next chapter of my life that has changed or at least my perspective. Love is not the feeling I felt when you are around, fought for you, and lost you but it's a choice I made to feel these emotions to one single person. I'm willing to be hurt, feel loved, and some more emotions. These emotions could come and go, we can't really control them and sometimes controls us. But a choice is the one we can keep and stand on, choosing you is something I can die with.

I hope you forgive me and also myself someday sa lahat ng hurt feelings. I am really fucking sorry. I hope you felt the feelings and intentions I want to say in through these words. I was not good at crafting it but you fill the gaps. The only thing na mamayabang ko noon is my word, that shit was tainted even to myself. I'm trying to clean that mess up, even though the words written above are with emotions in it was true or at least true to me at the time of writing. You probably thinking “who the fuck is this guy?” hahaha I will understand if you did.

This probably the last open letter I would write, hopefully. I'm gonna do as you told, I will not wait for you, but like this open letter I will leave my door open and you have access on the back.

I’m free now.

---

Happy holidays or new year. I have been doing better and this end of year festivities is not so bad. Lots of change happening in the apartment which is positively affecting my mentality, I am embracing that I will stay here for the next 2 years and needed to fix a lot. I was there again, calling out your name when I felt happy but its more subtle now and controlled this time around and I guess you would have enjoy what I have done in the apartment.

I was glad that your sister invited me for the new year, I know you will gonna be rattled by the idea and yes, it was all me placing the idea to your sister to invite me over. Do not get me wrong I would love to come and I really need to return some of your stuff you left here but yes, maybe that's for the better.

Cleaning up and de-cluttering was a painful activity aside from being tiring and expensive, it was a physical representation of moving forward without you and putting your memories to a box. I know you don’t want that but it’s decision needed to make to my baggage to rest. I know almost everything is caused by me why we here but I’m glad I don’t have social media to erase your memories too and disappoint the people close to us, again.

Lot of things changed. sometimes I'm not sure what version of my self is in but one thing for sure, my perspective is not the same. Some scary things before now could have been fun and exciting. I know I have been saying (in summary) the decision I made before between settling down with decent life you or myself with chaotic freedom. I’d like to think I am working on it for the better version, I know these are just empty words easy to throw out there but my mind is set to it. It has direction now, it wasn’t far but at least it has one and I thank you for it.

---

If we ever meet again, don't be shy to say hi.

If we ever get together again, please be more patient with me, don't let me astray, if I do please be stray with me and remind this phase will just pass.

if we ever be together again, slap my face to reality that you are not a problem to solve and just go solve some software engineering problems instead.

If ever, let's get fucking binded in one way or another.

Have a good luck next year Chiw

[leam1983]

On Food and Love

Both the writer and the husband in this essay feel flawed; and she comes across as especially bitter. It's hard to imagine, that kind of persistent lack of validation, your significant other coming home and having the gall to not appreciate what you do. The thing is, when it comes to something as personal as cooking, not all of us have the same degree of sensitivity or receptivity.

The stereotype says that bringing notes to someone's offered dish is in poor taste, but I'm lucky in that Walt is a foodie and Sarah and I both love eating. We're nothing more than decent cooks, unlike Walt, but we know what we like, and we aren't afraid to tell him when something needs more of this or less of that. We've learned to package that info in a way that doesn't come across as offensive, in a way that says Thank you for what you put together for us. We're grateful; so grateful, in fact, that we want to help you improve this particular dish. If we didn't care, if we didn't like what's on offer, we wouldn't offer comments.

And Walter's took the hint. Whoops, are the household's québécois Millennials turning unusually mum at the table? That means we're deep in the task of processing what's in our plates so we can issue as constructive a critique as possible. The meal, in essence, is forcing us to look inward to figure it out. On the other hand, if we're regular Chatty Cathys and add in frequent reminders that this is actually awesome, then everything else is a matter of personal taste. If someone tells you "This is great, but I'd add sriracha in it next time!", then it should be seem as an open endorsement.

I can't imagine just giving a meal a note out of ten, just expecting it to be there. On the other hand, I don't think that making the kids weather the brunt of the essay's culinary burnout is fair. I get it, kids are picky eaters by default, so you might as well just pile their One Thing in front of them then go sit in front of the TV to decompress - but if that's your take on parenting following a divorce, I'm seriously concerned.

I don't like the tone of the assertion that she'll "never cook for a man again". I mean, I plied my mediocre culinary skills for Sarah when we first dated, and I also spent two years cooking Walt's morning sunny-side-up eggs! Gender shouldn't matter in the equation: if someone you meet is at the very least decent and you're stuck sharing some living space with them for a while, breaking out the pots and pans shouldn't be seen as an abdication of one's independence, but of your being willing to assist your co-lodgers, if you will, in basic survival.

You know how Boomers have jokes about wives worthy of being divorced? Well, there's also an infinity of bad comic strips about loutish husbands who manage to make a microwave leak water and to start a fire from a normal tap. It's the same discontent, really - the married life, amirite? chestnut that's there to make anyone over fifty laugh, pat their bellies and give their SOs cheezily affectionate looks.

Why not chase happiness? Why not eat food for its own sake - for your own sake?

Okay, fine, Mrs. Lenz - your husband sucked and you're free. Awesome. All that the essay tells me is that she's left him, but she hasn't really let go of him. From the perspective of mental and emotional wellness, her delivery just oozes lasting bitterness.

If I had her in front of me, I'd tell her to go watch Alvin Zhou bake a Beef Wellington on YouTube, over days of patient care and planning - not for some conjugal necessity, but to share the love with people who matter.

[hanrinz]

YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART . . . ! blue lock men are all a loser clingy and desperate for your attention

✦°．feat : isagi yoichi, rin itoshi & nagi seishiro

✦°．notes. f! reader. fluff. ooc characters. so sorry for this and for not posting anything lately </3 i kinda went overboard with isagi lol.

RIN ITOSHI

he would literally throw hands at anyone if you don't stop talking to your phone right now. it's been exactly thirty-four minutes since you have chosen to talk to your old friend over him, your boyfriend—who clearly needs your undying love and attention.

(and yes he's been counting)

you were sitting in the living room, animatedly chatting with whoever lukewarm piece of shit you were talking to. laughing and smiling about something god knows what.

and he's checking on his phone, counting down the minutes and seconds passing by as you continue babbling on and on your old friend. he's now starting to hate this friend of yours. six more minutes and he gets you all to himself and he was selfish—always been and never changing—he wants you to just be beside him right now, he didn't just took off a day from his work just to have you taken away by someone else.

he decided six minutes was too long, why can't he have you now? without any second left to waste, he made his way to the couch, standing tall and glaring menacingly at your phone, as if it would melt away from your hands.

your eyes are now on him, you grace him with a much more radiant smile, with your eyes softly conveying 'you need anything?'

yeah, he definitely needs something. he needs you to hang up on your friend and spend time with him.

you noticed the look on his eyes and it made you laugh a little from his childish acts, jealousy does look kind of attractive on your boyfriend.

your little sudden chuckle had made the other side of the phone to ask you what was so funny? you shake your head as if he could see what you were doing, the conversation had turned dull and truly you only stayed for a couple more minutes out of courtesy, but you were dying to get away from him and just be with your beloved boyfriend.

rin couldn't take this long stupid call any longer—and as much as it was petty and silly, his patience has long been gone—he takes a seat beside you, the cushion dipping from his weight his arm coming round at the back of the couch as his other one takes the device out of your hands grunting out a, “she's busy, call her next time.” and ending the call right away, leaving no room for protest.

“rin-!” you whine, you look at him with disbelief following wuth a laugh as you type out a small apology to your old friend. tossing your phone on your side table not really waiting for a reply back.

not that you don't feel bad or anything, but you were thankful that the call had finally ended.

“you were taking too long,” he grumbled while he pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you, dipping his head into the crook of your neck. “want you all to myself” he muttered on your skin, placing dot kisses along the crevices of your shoulders.

your arms now coming up to his neck as you play with the back of his hair caressing it the way he likes.

“stupid, 'm all yours.”

ISAGI YOICHI

holding your hands wasn't enough for him, well at least this very right moment. why aren't you focusing your eyes on him? is the person beside you that important? more important than him? he's sure not. just someone who wants your attention.

you were just too nice, too good for anything in this world. you were too good for him if he was being honest, someone who was way out of his league, he thinks. but, isagi yoichi is not a coward. he doesn't wait for anything or anyone and when he sets his eyes on something, he makes sure he gets it.

he tried being polite and patient with the person beside you. he really did.

but it was no use, not even the repeated mantra of “play nice” that he keeps saying on his head didn't help with the bubbling feeling welling up on his chest. it doesn't help that he notices the way the guy kept sitting closer to you and the way his eyes scans your body every passing second.

he hates it so much.

your boyfriend has never been one for violence, but he can make an exception right now. he doesn't notice the way his hands have tightened its grip with yours. catching your attention now from the sudden discomfort it causes you, breaking away from the conversation you were having, you looked at isagi with concern.

“yoichi, is everything okay?” you called out to him. he snaps away from his thoughts, replacing his hardened expression with a small smile in hopes of trying not to worry you.

“don't worry 'bout me, pretty,” he smiles, like he didn't just have any intentions of landing a punch to the guy you were talking to.

“you sure?” he only nods at your question. loosening the grip he has on your hands, but still firm as ever.

he knows he has to leave soon for the game and the thought of leaving you with this guy alone makes him go crazy. don't get him wrong, of course he trusts you with all of his heart.

the problem was the trash beside you, though he was more than willing to show how much he deserves your attention more.

“jus’ keep your eyes on me, yeah?” was all he says to you before he leaves.

the match starts, with isagi more than determined to score the first goal, maneuvering the ball with precision, getting behind the players and kicking with high accuracy, isagi scores the first kill.

he didn't care for the crowds uproar, nor the signal sound of the goal he just scored, not even the commentators voices, because what he needs to know is if you were looking at him. searching for your face at the sea of people in the vip section, your eyes meet. his heart kicks into overdrive, pride welling up on his chest as he returns the smile you wore on your face.

the guy beside you was left forgotten, he didn't fail to shoot him a look of abhorrent, secretly in the middle of the match.

and the team wasn't oblivious to the striker's jealousy, they saw it all, isagi couldn't give a damn if this was going to be used against him.

he won. isagi yoichi, the heart of blue lock won another match, dominating the game with fierce play. all he wanted to do was to come to you and have you all night to himself.

“isagi, is there a particular reason for your amazing play today?”

“isagi, how do you feel about today's match?”

“just one moment of your time, isagi!”

he ignores all the noise of the press, shooting up a tired look to rin hoping that the captain would handle all the troublesome questions. he didn't wait for an answer, already trudging back to the locker room.

and there you were waiting for him, all pretty and nice. he smiles to himself as he calls out for you.

raising your eyes in his direction, as you run up to him with a big smile “yoichi!”

he would really like to hug you right now, if not for the dripping sweat of his jersey. and he knows how much you don't like it. he settles for holding your hands instead, but this time your eyes were on him. not on that guy, not any of his teammates, not on anyone, but him.

he places a small tender kiss in your hands, with a tired grin on his face, a little drunk over you.

“was i good?” he whispers, pulling you closer to him.

and you wonder what has prompted this question by your boyfriend, but you don't dwell on it as much when he looks at you like a lovesick puppy.

“the very best, yoichi.”

NAGI SEISHIRO

a big baby who's stuck in a 6ft striker's body. why would you choose some little kid over him? don't you see he's so much better?

“what a bother,” he grumbles, clearly annoyed with the little kid who's been taking up your time in the arcade. he stands lazily by the side, seeing you helping a little kid who seems to be having a hard time winning in a game.

it all started when the two of you had planned out a day for a date, weeks of not being able to be together because of his game overseas.

and now that he gets the time to have you, a little pesky child just managed to snatch you away from his hands. a big pout was residing on his face, clearly he wasn't going to wait for you to come back to him.

arguably, he was being the child in this situation, giving sharp glares at the back of the head of the kid.

poor kid, who just wants to win a little plushie.

and what adds into his sour mood is when you tell him to go play some games to keep him busy while you help the small child.

you really expect him to go away from you and play all by himself? no way. you probably didn't get the notion that he needs you, when he plays all these stupid games. now he stands close by the claw machine, his arm folded on his chest, sighing loudly every minute, impatiently waiting for you.

you were terrible.

very horrible at claw machines, it comes to the point you have almost consumed half of your coins that were supposed to be for you and nagi. you really tried your best, feeling bad for the kid who asked you to help him get a gift for his little sister.

only left with frustrated sighs and disappointment, you turn to your sulking boyfriend by the side, who seems to light up from his sullen expression when you look at him. you flashed him a smile that looks a little strange, not the same ones that keeps his heart beating up and down or makes his ears aflare with redness.

no, you were asking for something. your eyes gesture the claw machine that you're struggling with, you didn't even have to beg, nagi has always been the one to fold for your wishes and bidding.

he was quick to get by your side and play on the controls, if getting this stupid plush penguin was to win you back he'll gladly get ten more of it.

and with just a few calculated flicks and timed clicks, he won. like he always seem to, when he's all fired up and determined.

“easy,” he muttered, as he drapes himself over you engulfing you in a warm embrace, as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo, placing a kiss in your hair in the process.

you laugh at him, letting yourself melt into his bear hug, your hands coming up to caress his snowy hair, “you still down for more, genius?”

“duh.”

you might have returned home with empty pockets and content hearts that day.

◞♡ likes & reblogs are highly appreciated! is it obvious i'm crazy for isagi?

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Twelve)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 15.6k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (????!!!!!????!!!!), soft, soft sex, mention of pot brownie, dirty talk, jimin says ‘little slut’ lol, lots of kissing, ew intimacy, creampie, mention of cum eating, implied oral (male rec.) everyone’s having sex dude, lots of drama, lots of unsaid feelings and everyone being an idiot! 

Notes: sorry I took longer than usual! I hope you guys like this chapter:] thanks for being patient with me!  I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3  Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:) 

Previously on…in chapter 11 of Love again, Namjoon has offered you a relationship! You meet with Jin and Justine to learn more about Lucy’s past. Tension (not the bad kind) keeps rising with Jimin. You and Naomi meet with Lucy and learn the truth. Everyone’s busy for the weekend: Jeremy with dates, Naomi with friends, Hobi fake dating Dae for a work party but you and Jimin decide to eat a ‘special’ brownie and uh oh, you had sex. 

© Taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This might be one of the more awkward outings you have been a part of in a while—or ever. The atmosphere feels a little bit tense, so many pairs of eyes roaming around, never meeting one another. Something is obviously going on between like, everyone. But the only person who seems to be free, lively and so freaking oblivious is Taehyung. Bless Taehyung and his inability to read the room right now as he drunkenly declares you should all take shots. Again.

“Taehyung, you’re already shit faced, dude.” You reach for your water, “You realize if you take another shot you are absolutely going to throw up?”

“Eh, let him.” Dae shrugs from beside you, “He stole my chips the trip here and ate them all so this is kind of his karma, I’d like to believe.” 

“You want your brother to puke because he…ate your chips?” Hoseok raises a brow, “You truly are something.”

“That feels valid actually” You begin to agree, finally gulping back some of the water. 

“Of course you would be the first to agree with that.” Hoseok shakes his head, “The women I surround myself with…”

“Oh?” Dae looks a bit blank as she glances at Hoseok. “Am I woman you surround yourself—"

“Oh come on!” Taehyung drags out his words with an adorable slur, “Jeremy? I know you won’t let me drink alone right?”

“I’ll take a shot if my brothers take a shot too.” Jeremy grins at Hoseok and Jimin. “Forget the girls we don’t need them to have a good time.”

“We’re literally right here?” Naomi grumbles on the other side of Dae. “We should have gotten our own table at this point.”

“Ever since their weird ass boys thing—”

“Weird?!” Taehyung scoffs, but his own grin starts to show itself. “You’re all just jealous.”

“Totally. That’s what it is.” You comment with a straight face, “Anyway—”

“Are you…Taehyung, by chance?” A feminine voice cuts in, you all look in Taehyung’s direction when you see a girl standing next to him with her hand on his shoulder. “You probably don’t remember me but I’m pretty sure we went to college together.”

“Aeri?” Taehyung tilts his head, “Like, the girl who hooked up with Jungkook one time in my apartment bathroom?” 

“Oh!” The girl lights up, “So you do remember me!” 

Well, that’s one way to remember someone, you think.

“Yeah!” Taehyung’s grin widens, “You look kind of different though?”

“I think my hair was dark and short when you last saw me.” Aeri returns his smile with her own, her hand finally leaving his shoulder. “Which was so many years ago.” She giggles, stumbling a little bit in her spot. She looks drunk too. 

“No, that’s not it.” Taehyung waves her off, shaking his head slightly as he tries to think. “Oh! Last time I saw you was literally in the bathroom when you and Jungkook were…you know,” He winks now. “The thing that’s different is…clothes.” He says with a blank face while gesturing towards her and she widens her eyes before she laughs loudly.

“Oh yeah! You did walk in on us!”

“Does Taehyung just walk in on everyone having sex?” Hoseok laughs, shooting you a look when you glare at him. “I wonder if this chick stopped though unlike…” He trails off with a smirk, his hands motioning between you and Jimin. You want to kill him. 

“So how have you been?” Aeri slurs a little as she chats with Taehyung, “Are you still living here?”

“Nah, nah, nah.” Taehyung glances at the rest of you, “Just visiting my friends!” 

“Oh!” Aeri looks at you all now, smiling at everyone as she offers a greeting. “I know, I saw you from across the bar. You are like me!” She starts giggling cutely, hand back on his shoulder. “Fifth wheeling as the only single one in the group. That’s why I wanted to come say hi.” 

“Only…single?” Taehyung asks, confusion growing as he eyes you all. “Oh.” He sings out, “No, no! We’re all single actually. Trust me, no one in this group is gettin’ any.” He starts chuckling to himself. 

Aeri looks like the one who is confused now. “Really? Oh. I was so sure…” Her eyes find yours, “These two.” She points at you and at Jimin who sits across from you. “They’re a couple. And those two,” She points at Dae and Hoseok who sits across from her now. “They’re definitely a couple.” Now she points at Naomi and Jeremy, “And these two as well.”

“HA!” Naomi rolls her eyes, “Never in a fucking million years.” 

“Yeah, that’s got to be the joke of the fucking century. Right, Naomi?” Jeremy spits back with a smile. 

“I still don’t get what is up with them.” You say towards Hoseok and he nods. “But you’re wrong.” You say to Aeri before your eyes try to find Jimin’s but he avoids your gaze. Instead he reaches for his drink and takes a few sips, not even flinching as the alcohol runs down his throat, no doubt leaving a burn along the way. 

“No, I’m not.” Aeri drunkenly laughs, “I’m never wrong about these things.”

“Trust me, no one is gettin’ any.” Taehyung snorts. “y/n over here basically has a whole ass boyfriend and isn’t even gettin’ any.” 

Your insides start to twist at this mention but you try not to show it on your face.

Taehyung and Aeri are giggling when Taehyung lifts his drink and says, “Watch this! Hey everyone,” He looks at all of you with a confident smile. “Take a drink if you haven’t gotten laid in a while.” He wiggles his brows, even giving Aeri a cocky wink as he waits for you all to drink. But when Taehyung doesn’t see any hands reaching for drinks his cocky grin begins to falter. Aeri shrugs, her own cockiness showing now as she looks at him like it’s obvious. 

“Uh…” Taehyung begins lowering his drink. “Okay….” He mumbles unsure, “Take a drink if you…have…? Like, have gotten laid recently…?” 

Well, you and Jimin agreed you wouldn’t lie to anyone if the question was asked. And Taehyung kind of sort of has the exact question hanging in the air, waiting for an answer. You are the first to wrap your fingers around the glass that holds your mixed drink. You don’t look at anyone else as you bring it to your lips and take a sip. When you finally lift your eyes, they find Jimin who sits across from you and you see he is taking a sip of his drink as well. And then the dramatic ass gasp that leaves Taehyung’s lips can be heard and you glance around the table to see Hoseok and Dae have lifted their glasses as well as they drink back some of their alcohol…well, you knew about that already. But what surprises you is that Jeremy and Naomi are also sipping from their glasses.

“What?” Taehyung searches everyone’s eyes for answers. “You all…? Huh? Okay, okay.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes as he thinks for a moment. “How recent?” He looks at everyone again. No one says anything. “Okay…take a drink if it was like, a day ago.” 

No one drinks and Taehyung sighs in relief but he notices everyone looks weird as hell so he continues. “Okay…take a drink if it was one week…?” 

And then he dramatically gasps again as everyone awkwardly lifts their glasses, all eyes everywhere but each other. But then everyone does get a look at the other when too many pairs of eyes start widening. Taehyung points at his sister first, you are pointing at Naomi and Jeremy is pointing at Hoseok. Everyone’s looking real confused. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!!!” Taehyung stands from his bar stool now, “What the fuck does that mean?” 

Yes, Taehyung, you think. What the fuck does it mean?

One week ago

The way Jimin’s lips rub against yours as his hips roll into you makes you feel the sort of intimacy that terrifies you but in this moment there is nothing scary…just you and Jimin and this dreamy connection that makes your body feel like it’s floating. 

You want to blame the brownie for this feeling but that high has already began to fade…only Jimin in your system at this point. And he didn’t lie. He is fucking you exactly how he said he would…he is fucking you the way you agreed, the way you chanted ‘yes’ over and over before you two even left for your bedroom. His words to you, his horrible, tragic, beautiful, dangerous and exceptional words that he whispered towards you on your couch. 

“You want to get fucked y/n? You want me to fuck you? Me, right? You want me to fuck you like you’re my little slut? Fucked like you never been fucked before? Maybe you need me to fuck you like I’ve always fucked you, huh? You need to get fucked like someone is so, so in love with you? That the kind of fucking you need, babe? Need me to fuck you as if I was so, so in love with you? You want to get fucked like that?”

You never said yes a million times as fast as that. And he didn’t lie…he is fucking you exactly like that. He said ‘as if I was’ but if you are honest…the way he is fucking you, you might believe it if he told you he was still in love with you. 

That is a ridiculous thought, you know. But every time his length slides in and out of you, hips rolling and eyes staying on yours…you feel that euphoria of being fucked in a way that feels like it is love. He’s just that good, you think. 

You’re both panting, lips connecting every few moments to kiss—kisses that are so slow and deep, tongues taking their time and your bottom lip getting pulled lightly between his teeth. Your fingers caress his cheeks and he leans his forehead against yours, soaking in every light touch your fingers give his skin—eyes closing in satisfaction because your touch is just pure magic. 

“I’m…” Jimin pauses, groaning in your mouth as he speeds up, thrusting just a little harder. “I’m going to come soon, babe.” 

“Yeah?” You moan when his thumb makes contact with your clit, he puts just the right amount of pressure, circling it expertly. 

“Mhm.” He nips at your lip, “Where do…” He releases a long breath, hips slamming into you just a bit harder. “Where should I…fuck, y/n, where should I—”

“We both know.” You whine. His thumb circles your clit faster, you feel your body start to tense, back arching as you prepare for what is to come.

Jimin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at what you are insinuating, satisfied with your response but he still prolongs his orgasm to ask you again. “Where baby?” 

“Jimin…” You mewl, your orgasm already on the brink of arrival…”Please.”

Before you and Jimin started to have sex again, he discarded the first condom…it was full of his cum already and was uncomfortable but you were quick to guide his member back to your hole that needed to be filled. He didn’t object at the idea of fucking you raw…

“You want me to fill you with my cum, hm?” He starts picking up his pace again, his face right over yours, noses brushing and lips rubbing against each other so messily. “You need that?”

“Jimin.” Your mouth hangs open, body tensing intensely as you feel this build up start to overwhelm you. “I’m going to…” You can’t even finish that sentence when his thumb works harder and his cock hits a certain spot inside you that feels almost heavenly. 

“Come for me babe.” He groans again. “Come for me, come for me like you always have.” 

His words and everything else are enough to make you feel the kind of warmth that a long, intense, drawn out orgasm could give. You walls start squeezing around him so tightly and he is losing his mind over you. You, how you feel, how you look, everything. 

“I’m going to…” His strokes don’t stop, regardless that he is about to come…his lips part when short, rapid breaths escape him. The moans he starts letting out as his cum shoots from the head of his cock and into the deepest parts of your core are so sinful. He doesn’t still his hips, he keeps fucking you but much more slowly, he pushes through to keep your orgasms intense and long. You might even come again when he whimpers—yes, whimpers at the feeling of fucking his cum into you. 

You’re both feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated but his hips rolls into you a few more times, his cries of pleasure keeping you from stopping him. One more pump, then another before Jimin is finally stilling himself. Quick breaths hitting your lips as your own chest heaves. Jimin’s thumb leaves you when he raises it to his lips and sucks on it before taking your face with his hand, cupping it gently and leaning in for more slow kisses. 

You kiss him back, lips moving over his as your hand reaches between your bodies and you carefully help him pull his cock out of you. Moaning into each other’s mouths when he’s finally no longer inside you and with his lips still connected to yours, he rolls over so you are laying side by side, still making out. 

The room is hot, bodies sweaty, your skin sticking to his so easily. You can’t even process how you definitely need to replace these sheets before bed because his lips are still on yours and they are so addicting. You’ve never felt more obsessed with a pair of lips than this moment. It’s almost as if neither of you are prepared for this moment to end—for this night to end. Almost like if you two never stop then you don’t have to ever face the reality…maybe tomorrow will never arrive. 

The kisses are slow and lazy and it sucks when you two finally pull away, foreheads resting against each other, soft breaths mingling. Jimin eyes you carefully, tenderly and you gaze back, both of you trying to communicate without saying words. 

But words need to be said. 

“Wow.” Jimin sighs out, “That was…” His voice gets a little quieter before a small smile pulls at his lips. “You’re very amazing.”

You crack a smile, “How amazing?”

“Most amazing.” Jimin quietly chuckles, leans in again to peck your lips. “What we just did…what we shared with one another just now…that’s rare.” He tells you, voice soft and almost careful.

“Rare?” You ask and he only hums in response. You don’t pry for an explanation and he doesn’t give one. Because you both know what he means. What you two just shared…the closeness, the connection, the intimacy…that is rare. 

You and Jimin clean up, change the sheets and put on some clothes to sleep. Even though you are both more sober now and you two have officially pulled away to do other things, the atmosphere in the room has not changed. The night is still this night. Tomorrow is not here yet and no thought comforts either of you more. 

You settle into your bed, blanket pulled up to your nose when Jimin slides in the sheets to lay next to you. It’s almost automatic how you scoot closer to him and he’s already welcoming you to lay your head on his chest. His arm wraps over you, stroking your arm softly. It is automatic when you nuzzle your face into his bare chest, inhaling his scent and listening closely for his heartbeat. 

There is no feeling quite like this. There might not even be a feeling that can top this. This is a feeling you want to drown in. This is a feeling you want to kill you. You’d be fine, dying in this feeling because it means it’s the last thing you ever felt and you will leave this life and enter the next one with this feeling. This fucking feeling. 

Even still, you are careful. Even with this feeling… you are careful. Careful because you have to be. Careful because you won’t be dying in this feeling…you will wake up tomorrow and this feeling is not allowed. So many words that could be said…between you and Jimin, there are millions of words that could stroke this feeling into something even more. But that is dangerous. So, you are careful. And so is he. 

Nothing is said for a long while…you think over an hour has passed by and you believe Jimin must be fast asleep. You on the other hand…you are witnessing the night end and tomorrow arriving. And because of a fact so simple as that…the thoughts of reality are starting to settle in your messy little mind. 

You aren’t even sure what to make of this entire night. What could it even mean? If it even means anything at all. Exes fall into each other’s beds all the time! This is not some rare instance…this is not some crazy thing that never happens. You know that, you get that. Feeling familiar with someone can be so, so dangerous. You are learning that. But that doesn’t always mean something deep. You know that too, you get that too. This is probably—

“Can’t sleep?” Jimin’s raspy voice slightly startles you, “Sorry.” He chuckles quietly. “I can tell you’re still awake.” He tells you, taking a pause before continuing. “Are you overthinking everything like me?”

You let silence linger for a moment before snuggling closer to him, “You know,” You whisper out, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m supposed to give Namjoon an answer about me and him…I should be thinking about that. I should be having a lot of thoughts about that. But I’m here having no thoughts about it because I think you fucked those thoughts out of my head.” You scoff quietly at yourself. “Instead I am thinking about how tonight you gave me the best orgasms I have ever had in my life.”

“In your life?” Jimin asks, trying to stop his lips from curving into some sort of satisfied smile. 

“Yeah.” You hum, “I mean, don’t get me wrong…in the past you also gave me great orgasms but this was…I don’t know. I’m sure the last time we had sex I came hard too but this—”

“The last time…? The last time we had sex…?” Jimin’s soft voice is hushed. “y/n…do you not remember?”

“Remember what?”

“We didn’t come last time. The morning of my flight. We had sex but neither of us came.” He tells you, “We uh, we never got that far.” 

“Oh.” You blink, “That sounds like it sucks, sorry. No wonder you cried.” You can’t help but chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No. It was amazing.” He tells you quickly, “It was emotional, yeah…but even though I didn’t finish…I had never felt more satisfied at that time in my life. I just wanted to be close to you, y/n. As close as physically and emotionally as possible.” He nuzzles his face into the top of your head. “I felt so connected to you…that even in those moments of pleasure, even without climaxing, I felt so fucking good. And maybe it was just me…”

“What?”

“I didn’t even feel like I needed to finish…just having that connection with you…I felt like I was at the edge already, the edge of the Earth. And I jumped. I jumped and I drowned in you. You drowned me, y/n. Drowned me in every bit of love your body and soul could give me. It was one of the most powerful things I’ve experienced and yeah, I cried.” He chuckles, “I cried because I knew I would never have that again.” 

“Oh.”

“And when we decided to stop…and I left your body I don’t think I had ever felt more empty.”

You’re quiet. His words finding a spot in your mind, making themselves at home as you decide they are allowed to live there forever. You release a breath before finally deciding to respond. “Well,” You lift your head to look at him, the room just light enough from the almost rising sun that you two can lock eyes. He gazes at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. “…I mean, technically wouldn’t it have been me who felt empty? You know,” you gesture towards your lady bits, “Since—”

Jimin snorts, laughing at your smart ass mouth and squeezing you to his body. “Yeah, yeah.”

Your face breaks into a small grin, “But uh, that was um, pretty.”

“Pretty?” Jimin quirks a brow. “What was?”

“Your words. Like poetry. Your words are pretty. Just like you.”

Jimin can’t help but lean more into the pillow and smile up at the ceiling now. “Pretty like the moon?”

“Like the moon.” You tell him, “But Jimin.” You glance over at the window, “The moon is no longer in the sky…and the sun is starting to take its place. A new day is arriving and…”

Jimin squeezes you even tighter towards him when he sighs out. “I know.” He whispers. “A new day means this day is over. And…”

“And the day that is over can’t bleed into tomorrow.” You finish for him. “You know?”

“I know.” Jimin sighs again, “But…can we pretend the sun doesn’t control our day? Just for now. Can we live in this night until we wake up and it is actually tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” You lay your head back down on his chest, “We can do that.” 

~

It’s after 1pm when you and Jimin finally wake up. It’s not necessarily awkward but there is an understanding between you both…and understanding that last night’s events were exactly that—last night’s events—and nothing more. You have reasons and he has reasons and neither of you really speak on those reasons but you both know they’re there and you both have them and that has to be enough. 

“Okay, I’ll get going.” Jimin starts gathering his things and makes his way towards your door to slide on his shoes. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” He smiles at you and his smile is making this weird, dangerous warmth start heating up your body. But you can’t show any sign that this heat is creeping up your neck, onto your cheeks and so on. 

“Yeah. Get home safe.” You return his smile, a smile so calm and careful. 

“I will.” Jimin nods at you, “See you.” 

And he is opening the door, turning his head to steal one last glance at you before walking through and closing the door behind him. 

Your eyes stay on your white wood door for a few seconds, your calm and careful smile still on your face when you finally release a long, long breath that you had been holding and your smile drops completely. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. That’s the only real words in your mind right now.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” And the only real words you’re even able to mutter at the moment. You blink repeatedly, eyes still on your door as the reality hits you hard. Oh fucking shit, you think. You finally turn towards the inside of your home and your legs are moving on their own as you start searching for your phone. You finally find the device stuck between the couch cushions and you are scrambling to unlock it and call the person you need to freaking call. Your one and only, your best friend. 

You wait on the line as it rings and rings and finally Hoseok answers.

“Hello?” 

“Hoseok!” You screech into the phone.

“Hi.” He sings, “Wait, hold on.” He tells you and you try to wait as patiently as possible. “Hey…Taehyung just got here. Me, him and Dae are going to grab some lunch before we get ready for Dae’s work party tonight. Can I call you later?”

“Oh my god.” You groan, “You being busy is ruining my life!”

“Dramatic as always. What’s up? What happened?”

“Nothing. Just call me later, okay? When do you get home?”

“Tomorrow afternoon!”

“Oh my god, just…” You groan again. “Whatever. Tell them I say hi. Have fun tonight, love you.”

“Will do. Love you with all my heart. See ya!” And then he’s quickly hanging up and leaving you to think about this all by yourself. 

~

It’s almost noon on Sunday now and you aren’t sure if Hoseok is home yet but you need to talk to him. Even if he’s still driving and it’s just over the phone. You’re desperate at this point. You’re sitting at your kitchen island, phone in your hands as you click on the screen to call him. This dude answers on the first ring. 

“Hoseok!—”

“—y/n!” 

You both yell at the same time, and neither of you waste another second or even wait for the other to just respond before you’re both yelling again.

“Code Red!” You shout in unison.

“What?” You ask, puzzled. “You’re Code Red?”

“You’re Code Red?” He asks on the other line. “Why are you Code Red?”

“No, why are you Code Red?”

“Holy fuck, why are we both—”

“Come over dude. I just got home, this is an emergency!” Hoseok shouts, “Fucking Code Red bro.”

“Trust me, I know it’s a fucking emergency dude!” 

“Hurry up.” 

~

You and Hoseok sit at his dining room table, looking and feeling antsy as hell. Legs shaking up and down, throats feeling dry, eyes boring into the other.

“You go first.” You look at Hoseok anxiously and he shakes his head quickly and motions for you to go first. “Okay.” You nod, “Let’s just go at the same time. Let’s just say whatever it is.” Hoseok nods now too, agreeing right away with the plan. “Okay, count of three. One…two…THREE!”

“I had sex with—”

“I had sex with—” You both shout but stop as soon as you both realize what you guys are saying.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Your eyes go wide. “Who the hell did you have sex with?”

Hoseok gives you an unimpressed look, “Oh come on, y/n. Who the hell do you think it was?!”

“Fair. But what?! How!? How did that…? You guys fucked for real?! You and…Dae?!” 

Hoseok shudders just at the mention of her name, “I don’t know how it happened!” He groans into his hands, “We just…I don’t know!” He yells out. 

“Were you guys like, really drunk at the party?!”

“Holy fuck this just keeps getting worse.” Hoseok’s lips set into a line. “We were fucking sober.” 

“Oh my god…” You can’t help but snort. “Come on Hobi…is this really such a surprise?” 

“YES?” He looks at you incredulously. “She is my frenemy!” 

“But you guys have fucked before!” “Because…because we had to!”

“…Had to?” You look at him with a straight face.

“Trust me, y/n. We had so much tension back then! After she beat me at the competition it only made sense that I fuck her?!?????”

“Oh my god…” You start laughing, “You’re so ridiculous. So what? She humiliated you again?? You had to what? Punish—” You can’t even finish that because you’re laughing harder now. 

“Ha-Ha!” Hoseok rolls his eyes and once you stop laughing Hoseok continues, voice a little quieter. “I was pretending to be her boyfriend, remember? Well, I don’t know, it felt nice…all the small things.” He mumbles with a pout. “And then she mentioned she felt like no one really believed us so I kissed her—”

“Of course you did.” You giggle, “Classic. What movie is this?” 

“Shut up.” Hoseok deadpans. “Anyway, we left and then yeah, we had sex.”

“And that’s Code Red?”

“It’s Code Red because I woke up early and bolted.” He says with a straight face and your jaw drops.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“You are dumb as hell.” You say with an equally straight face. 

“She texted me and I tried explaining it was a mistake and you know, whatever, whatever.”

“Do you think it was a mistake?” 

“I don’t know!” He throws his hands up, “I’m so…I really don’t know!”

“Damn…”

“But anyway, I had sex with Dae but who the hell did you have sex with? That’s the real fucking question.”

Suddenly you’re quiet. Hoseok narrows his eyes at you and he tries studying your expression, doing his best to figure it out. “Okay…it can’t be Namjoon. No, because that wouldn’t be Code Red…you have been expecting to have sex with him so who…” Then his eyes are widening and his mouth opens and a dumb ass smile starts forming. “Oh my god.” He points at you. Fucking accusing you…”You fucked Jimin.” He says matter of fact. 

Your eyes get just as wide as he assumes correctly. You still don’t say anything and he’s losing it.

“You totally…oh my god, you fucked Jimin!” He’s still pointing at you, stupid ass grin on his face because he knows he is right. You continue to look shocked before you drop your head to the dining table before groaning and dramatically crying out.

“Oh my god…” You whine, “I totally fucked Jimin.” 

“Holy shit!” Hoseok still hasn’t closed his mouth, he’s…surprised but not surprised but like super surprised but also not. “Oh my god. You fucked Jimin, dude.” 

“I fucked Jimin, dude.” You start banging your head on the table. “I’m a Jimin fucker.”

Finally, Hoseok closes his mouth and scrunches his brows together. “For some reason I don’t like the way that sounds so let’s not say it that way again.” Then he breathes out, “But still…you fucked Jimin. This is crazy.”

You finally lift your head, eyes beginning to pool with worry. “It is crazy.” 

Hoseok notices you look a little off now as you stare at him and he softens, “Is it?”

“Yes.” You tell him simply, voice unsure. “It’s crazy for multiple reasons. And I feel like I don’t even have to tell you all the reasons because you can probably guess. And realistically you could probably come up with even more reasons than me.”

“Should I start listing some?” He lightly teases but you frown at him. “Oh come on, you fucked your ex who you are like, really close with. Are you surprised?”

“Yes?” You slump your shoulders, “But like, no?”

“Yeah.” Hoseok offers a half smile. “You guys are…well, you’re really close. Anyone can see that and sure, it could be totally platonic. I think you two might really be capable of that. But I also understand there is a long history there. And there’s probably so many things between you both no one else would even begin to understand—”

“Maybe Taehyung.” You blink at Hoseok and he snorts.

“Okay, maybe Taehyung.” He laughs, his head shaking before he continues. “If I’m being honest with you, y/n. I know he broke your heart and I know I don’t know the full story. I don’t know everything and I don’t know his side. And he’s my friend…and even if he wasn’t…it’s probably not fair to judge an entire situation without knowing all the sides, right?” 

“You hated him before.” You deadpan.

“That was a few months ago…I’ve…” He starts nodding, eyes glancing up as he thinks. “…Matured?” He decides to go with that. “Anyway, regardless of what happened…you’re both in each other’s lives now, right? You’re close. You enjoy one another. Yada, Yada. Look, it’s not that big of a deal that you two had sex—”

“It was the intimate kind.” You let the words slip out quickly.

“Oh?” Hoseok raises a brow, “Like…how intimate?”

“Like, it felt like love, intimate.” You blurt but then try to recover, “I mean…I know it wasn’t that but I’m just saying that what it felt like.”

Hoseok lips part slightly as he realizes what you are saying. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” You swallow, “I’m not saying we…it’s just…that’s the kind of sex we had.”

“Well,” Hoseok glances around trying to think of what to say next to try his best to comfort you, you’re sure but when his eyes start to expand you realize he is finally putting together some other important pieces here. “Wait.”

“Yup.” You blurt blandly. 

“What about Namjoon?” He asks, eyes still wide.

“Exactly.” You frown, “That’s exactly what I’m thinking. What about Namjoon…”

Hoseok stands from his chair abruptly, your eyes following him as he gives you a nod and he heads towards his kitchen, pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“We’re drinking?” 

“When we’re both in a Code Red situation, drinking seems completely appropriate.” 

“That…yeah, that checks out.” You stand as well and meet him in the kitchen, watching him open the wine bottle and fill both of your glasses to the absolute brim. 

“So,” He hands you your glass. “What are you going to do about Namjoon? I mean, did you have sex with Jimin because you guys are in love or like, did you two fuck because well, fucking your ex is easy?”

“Holy shit.” You murmur, bringing the glass to your lips as you suck up some of the wine that is close to spilling over. 

“Yeah, holy shit is right, sister.”

“We…we aren’t in love. But I think it would also be the easy way out to say we just had sex because it was an easy option.” 

“How do you know you aren’t in love?” Hoseok softens even more, his tone careful with you. 

“Trust me, if we were in love…wouldn’t we be together right now? Wouldn’t the sex maybe would have set off the type of chain of events where we aren’t pretending it didn’t happen?”

“Is…” Hoseok nibbles on his lip. “Don’t tell me you two are pretending…oh, that doesn’t seem like you two.”

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not necessarily like pretending like totally avoiding and shit, but more like…it happened but it won��t happen again. We both get that.”

“But why?”

“Be-because? First, I owe Namjoon a fucking answer and probably the truth. And second…I don’t know.”

“You said the sex would have maybe set off a chain events where you two would want to be together again, right? But it didn’t? Did you ever think it’s because it just isn’t that simple, y/n? If it was that simple…then I feel like your actual relationship and dynamic has no depth. But because it’s more complex,” Hoseok picks up his own wine glass, stares at the liquid and sighs out heavily before continuing. “Well, I think it just proves how real it is.”

You stare at your best friend, mind beginning to race with thoughts you don’t even want to think about but maybe saying them out loud is a good way to ease your own mind.

“You’re right.” Your eyes fall to the counter top, “It is complex. He broke my heart, sure. But I’m not the only one who needs to work through things. He has stuff too.” A small smile creeps on your lips, “I could shove down my own problems and new insecurities to start new—whoever that may be with—but I could never expect him…especially at this point in time, to just get over his own trauma.” 

“Trauma?” Hoseok pulls his brows together. “What do you mean?”

“Right.” You gulp. Eyes lifting back to meet his, “I can’t share it because I don’t know how comfortable Jimin would be with it but yeah, he just…he has things and anyway, it is complex.”

“I’m not sure my situation is even complex.” Hoseok chuckles. “I’m just a chicken.”

“I’ll drink to that.” You wink, taking a sip of your wine and Hoseok flips you off.

“I’m just…I’m wanting the right one, you know? But it’s come to my attention I don’t know who that is and maybe I do. But how do I really know? And I don’t know. I’m stupid.”

“You aren’t stupid. You’re like every other human being on this planet. Scared.”

“But what am I scared of?”

“Love?” You shrug.

“No, love is this amazing thing!”

“Love is an amazing thing but when there’s good there’s bad!” You throw back at him. “And no one prepares their heart for the bad. Trust me.”

“Or” Hoseok sets his wine down, his eyes finding yours and you can see how the dark browns swirling around also swirl with sincerity. “We do prepare for the bad but we don’t like how it feels to imagine that and that’s why we’re scared. Because maybe we’ve gotten a taste and decided you know what? Is the good worth all this bad again?”

“Well,” You set your glass down as well. “Then I guess all I can say is…being human sucks.”

~~~~~

Monday morning and you are at the office much earlier than usual. Hoseok walks in some time after you and eyes you strangely as he sets up his desk.

“If you tell me you have not even slept…I swear—”

“Does 40 minutes count?” You cut him off, eyes on your screen. “Because if it does then I totally slept.”

“For your sake I’ll just agree that it counts.” Hoseok shakes his head before sitting down. 

“And for your sake I doubled the amount.” You mumble to yourself, eyes still on your screen as you try to convert this document. “So,” You click the mouse repeatedly, and…annoyingly. “Namjoon is out of town this week so I will have to live with my sins a little longer.”

Hoseok glances over at you, pity smile on his lips. “Maybe that’s good? Gives you more time to think.”

“Thinking is literally the last thing I want to—”

“Sup guys.” Jeremy comes towards you both, stopping at his desk to set his coffee down. “Is uh, is Naomi here yet?” 

You just continue to look at your screen, clicking your mouse as you shake your head. 

Jeremy releases a long breath before adjusting his jacket, “Okay. Cool, cool.” He finally takes his seat. 

“Why?” Hoseok turns in his chair to face Jeremy, “Need her for some—”

“Nope. No. No. Nah.” Jeremy shakes his head with his hands waving in front of him. “Just wondering. Yup, just having uh, wonders. It was…I was just…wonder—anyway, uh, have you guys umm, talked to her? Like over the weekend?”

You continue to stare at your screen, mouse clicking and you shake your head…again.

“Yeah, that’s cool. Okay, cool, cool.” Jeremy nods along, hands still adjusting his jacket.

“O…kay.” Hoseok gives Jeremy a confused look before turning in his chair to face you again. “Jeremy is being weird, y/n.”

“Jeremy is always weird, Hoseok.” You say, eyes probably straining thanks to the screen. 

“No. Just look at him.” Hoseok whispers and you finally tear your eyes away, glancing in their direction when you snort.

“What…what are you wearing?” You raise a brow at Jeremy. 

“What?” Jeremy starts to feel antsy. “Is it weird? It’s weird right. The jacket? Is it too much?”

“Uh, it’s not that. Just…why?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs, holding in his own laugh.

“I can’t look nice?” Jeremy decides to act sassy. “You’re a slob half the time but I don’t try to make you feel weird when you wear a skirt!” “Jeez.” You raise your hands in surrender, stifling your own laughter as well. “Fair point.”

“Hello friends!” Naomi’s voice can be heard, your turn your head to get a look at her when she walks towards you guys, her curls bouncing cutely above her shoulders. “Morning.” She says…only to you and Hoseok. “Love seeing my friends here.” 

“Yeah, hi.” You eye her over…she usually does look decently nice for work but this is…”You look pretty…is there an occasion? Are you and Jeremy going somewhere after working or something?”

“HA!” Naomi giggles, almost forced when she grins wide before spinning on her heels to face Jeremy. “Well, hello, Jeremiah.”

“Naomi-iah.” He stands from his chair, hands still freaking adjusting the jacket. 

“That’s like…neither of their names, right?” Hoseok whispers towards you and you shake your head before continuing to watch this weird ass interaction.

“Love coming to work to see my friends! Even you! Wow, especially you! Right? My friend?” Naomi flutters her lashes as she always does, smile still wide while Jeremy nods enthusiastically.

“Of course! Because I’m your friend. And uh, well, you’re my friend.” Then his head bobs around as he looks at you and Hoseok too. “We are all friends! Love being friends. I love having friends. Friends are so cool—”

“Exactly. You just love your friends so much!” Naomi starts laughing, “You are like, friend of the year.”

“I sure am. But uh, y/n is right! You look nice!” He forces a grin.

“Wow, thank you!” Naomi continues to smile, lashes still fluttering. “And you look…” She eyes him up and down, smile still in place when she blinks awkwardly. “…weird.”

“I-I-I-“

“Well,” Naomi smiles even wider, “Got to get to work, am I right, friends?” And then she walks off to her desk as Jeremy mumbles to himself, eyeing over his outfit.

“Weird.” You mouth at Hoseok and he shrugs.

~

Tuesday evening when you hear from Jimin for the first time since you saw him last. The texts are pretty awkward but at least he’s texting you.

Jimin 7:03pm

So have u eaten

y/n 7:10pm

yeah I have

Jimin 7:10pm

Oh ok

y/n 7:12pm

have you

Jimin 7:12pm

Uhhhhh not yet but I guess I should lol

y/n 7:12pm

I have leftovers if you want them

Jimin 7:13pm

Youre invited me over?

y/n 7:13pm

seems like it right

Jimin 7:15pm

Right

y/n 7:18pm

come on jimin just come over

Jimin 7:20pm

Its to talk about things isn’t it lol

y/n 7:22pm

you don’t think we should?

Jimin 7:23pm

No I definitely think we should 

y/n 7:23pm

alright then come

Jimin 7:38pm

On my way 

“This is pretty good.” Jimin says with his mouth full, the last bite finally conquered as he finishes the left overs you offered him.

“I know, right?” You smile, “It’s new. Opened up like less than two years ago.”

Jimin stands from the island and throws away his container and goes to the sink to wash his hands. “Didn’t you have a rule about trying to eat home cooked meals on week days?” 

“Well,” You laugh, “Things change!”

“Yeah.” Jimin dries his hands on the towelette before turning to you. “I guess they do…so, should we go into the living room?” He gestures towards the area of your sofa and you nod, standing from your chair and heading in that direction. Jimin follows, deciding not to sit too far from you so it doesn’t seem like he is being awkward and purposely staying away…but maybe he is sitting too close. Not even a foot of space between you both but nothing is said about it.

“So.” Jimin stares ahead, eyes on your black TV screen. 

“So.” You decide to follow his gaze, the black TV screen looking so entertaining. “Um.”

“Um.” He copies.

You release a breath before laughing to yourself, eyes falling to your lap now. “We are usually so good at talking and being open…why are we being so awkward?” “So awkward, right?” Jimin laughs too, his head titling in your direction. “Let’s just say it. We had sex. And we want to discuss it. But are we discussing it like how it went?” He cracks a smile, “Or discussing what it meant? Why did we do that? What we should do now?”

“All of the above?” You lean back into the sofa cushion, small smile as well. “First, I think we can both admit sex between us has always been great so no surprise there.”

“That’s true.” Jimin hums. “It felt natural being with you but there was also something about it that felt so…thrilling. It felt brand new while also feeling like ho—well, I don’t know.” Jimin finishes timidly. 

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” You gulp, both knowing. “So…why did we do that?”

“You’re skipping over ‘what it meant’ already?” Jimin teases, “But uh, it would be bad to blame the brownie, right?” He chuckles, relaxing his shoulders some as he leans back on the couch as well. “Because even I know that even if the brownie was not a part of the equation…” “What?”

“It was going to happen regardless.” Jimin tells you simply. “At least I would have wanted it to.”

You sigh out, eyes going to the ceiling. Yeah, you believe that actually. “Are you saying it was a matter of time?” You turn your head towards Jimin, crooked smile on your face. “That because everything is so familiar with me that we were bound to hook up?”

“Familiar? You think I only wanted to fuck you because it was familiar, y/n?” Jimin turns his head to face you as well. “I fucked you because I am very attracted to you and we have great chemistry.” He shrugs his shoulders, head facing forward again. “I fucked you because you’re you.”

“Oh.”

“Did you only have sex with me because I’m your ex and it seemed familiar?” Jimin asks you, voice quieter. 

“It makes things easier.” You respond. Jimin turns his head towards you again, eyes finding yours before he narrows them, not really believing your answer.

“But no,” You sigh out, “I guess not. Your reasons seem relatable.” 

“Hmm.” Jimin continues to gaze at you, “You can be honest y/n. If you only wanted me that night because you were just…in the mood for something like that…and I was an easy option—”

“No!” You lift your head and lean towards him, “That’s not what I—I didn’t mean to come across that way.”

Jimin’s lips lift into a smile, “I know.”

“You know?” You ask and he hums.

“Yeah. The way we fucked babe, you really think I would think you would only want something like that just because you were horny? Yeah, no.” 

“Jimin—”

“If you were just looking to get fucked don’t you think you would have just done it with Namjoon by now? But Namjoon isn’t what you wanted,” His voice goes lower, eyes boring into yours. “Now was it?”

He makes it sound so simple—and maybe it is. But you think you might refuse the idea of it being that easy. “W-What do we do now?”

“Still avoiding what it meant?” Jimin decides to tease you again, lips curved into one of his addicting smiles. “That’s okay.”

“It meant…” You start chewing on your lips, realizing you are avoiding that one because you haven’t even really thought about what it could mean. “I don’t know.”

“Me either.” Jimin’s smile continues to charm you. “And I think it’s okay that we don’t know right now. But what to do…”

“Yeah.”

“You’re very important to me, y/n.” Jimin breathes out, “So important.” 

“I know.” You smoosh your cheek into the couch cushion, “You’re important to me too.”

“You’re in this thing with Namjoon…I don’t mean like,” His eyes widen a bit as he stares at you, “It’s not like thing, thing—an official thing—right? But it’s a situation? I mean, he’s…are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah,” you close your eyes briefly, hating that you have to tell Namjoon about this. “I am. I feel like I owe him that much. Not sure how he will react. If he will be angry or just disappointed.”

“I don’t know either.” Jimin admits. “But say things go okay…he still wants to be in a relationship with you…what are you going to do?”

“What…” You pause. You can’t believe you are on the verge of asking Jimin what you should do…you are really on the verge of asking Jimin to tell you what it is you think you should do because apparently it matters to you—his thoughts and opinions. 

“Hm?” 

“What do you think I should do?” You blurt. 

“You…” Jimin raises his brows at you, “You want me to tell you what I think?”

“Yeah.” 

“I think you know already, y/n. Not just what I think but what you think. But you are fighting it and I cannot figure out why.”

“Fighting it?” 

“Mhm.” Jimin looks at you with a softness, a softness that seems to be bleeding into another look. Maybe one of guilt. “If I had to guess it would be because you’re just wanting something or someone and you know he’s good, maybe even safe. You’re afraid to ever feel something again like you had with me.” 

“Okay.” You stare at him, slowly nodding your head. “Maybe.”

“And that’s one reason why what we did cannot happen again. Right?” Jimin tilts his head just slightly, a smile that is barely there on his lips. 

You feel your chest tighten as the words leave his mouth, “Right.” You whisper. “And another reason is because of you. Right?”

Jimin’s lips curve just a little higher, his eyes shining with his understanding—and your understanding. “Right.” 

“We’ve moved on.” You state simply. “So, of course we wouldn’t fall into what we did again.”

“Oh?” Jimin’s lips start tugging into something sly. “So, you are telling me you won’t even think about it then?”

“The sex we had?” You question and he grins.

“Yeah. You won’t think about it? Won’t let your mind wander?”

“Even if it did…doesn’t mean—Listen, I’ve been successful. You think I haven’t thought about you like that? Nothing happened!”

“But…something did happen?” Jimin chuckles, “You weren’t successful.”

“Did you…did you ever think about—“

“I told you when I was fucking you that I had.”

“Yeah but—”

“I wasn’t just saying things to turn you on. Everything I said was the truth. I have been desperate to kiss you for some time.” 

You can’t help but snort, “Desperate is a pretty serious word, Jimin.” 

“It’s been pretty serious.” He laughs back. “Even with knowing it’s not a good idea or something I should do…even right now I am thinking about kissing you.”

Your mouth falls open, surprise gracing your features before you lean more forward to hit his arm. “You are not!” 

“I definitely am.” He smirks. “Maybe I’ll be thinking about that forever. Who knows.” 

“You really have no shame.” You roll your eyes, covering your mouth with your hand, doing your best to hide your growing smile. “You can’t just say that.”

“At least let me say it since I can’t do it.” Jimin jokes. “But anyway, y/n.” He grows a little more serious, “We’re okay?”

“Yeah, we are.” You smile towards him. “Want to watch a show?”

“Might as well.” Jimin returns your smile before standing from the sofa, walking to the other side to grab your designated blanket. He comes back to his spot but instead of a foot of distance between you both, he sits right next to you, thighs glued together. “Cold.” He mumbles as he lays the blanket over both of your laps. 

You reach for the TV remote, turning it on to Netflix. “A movie?”

“Sounds good to me,” Jimin says, head leaning on your shoulder, “Pick whatever you want.”

~

You aren’t really sure Jimin is paying too much attention to the movie you chose…every time you steal a glance at him, you see how his eyes are on your lap. His fingers play with yours and so much warmth starts radiating off of your body. You don’t know what he is thinking or how he is feeling in the moment. 

“Are you bored?” You whisper at him, “You look bored.”

“Not at all.” Jimin murmurs, “I am having a nice time actually.”

“You aren’t even watching the movie.” You laugh, pointing out the obvious. “Your eyes have only been on our hands.”

“Your hands are nice.” 

“So you would rather watch them than this movie? Yeah, you’re bored.”

“Not bored.” Jimin chuckles, his eyes finally lifting to look at you. And then he speaks slowly, “Touching you isn’t boring for me.” 

His touch relaxes you but his words send a strange feeling throughout your body. Tingles maybe. 

“You’re saying you could touch me forever and have fun then?” You quirk a brow, “You’d never get bored?”

“Is there a world where you let me touch you forever?” Jimin’s lips curve up, “Sounds like my ideal world.”

“Shut up.” You shake your head, “Don’t tell me something like that.”

“Like what?”

“That you have an ideal world and I’m in it.”

“You aren’t just in it. In the ideal world I get to touch you.” He whispers.

“Then are you in your ideal world then? You’re touching me right now.” 

“In my ideal world I am touching you a whole lot more than this.” Jimin’s tone falls lower, his eyes on yours and you want to shudder…because the tingles are here again and they are starting to feel dangerous to your health. 

“How much more?” Your breaths are soft but one leaves your mouth shaky and Jimin knows he’s got your mind wandering. 

“Don’t ask a question that you aren’t prepared to hear the answer.” Jimin’s fingers start threading through yours. “The only hint I can give you is that it’s so much touching that you would be aching to touch me back.” 

“Would I?” You tease, smirk on your lips while Jimin rolls his eyes at you, scoffing at how much of a tease you are.

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I know you.”

“Do you though?” You continue to tease him, your own fingers playing with his. “It’s been five years, Jimin. People change.”

Jimin starts chuckling, his hand leaving yours. He raises his head and turns it towards you, just a few inches from your face when he gazes into your eyes, a specific glint inside them. “That doesn’t work anymore, y/n.” He tells you softly, “I know you now. I know you all over again. I know this y/n. I know you.” 

Your breath gets stuck inside your throat somewhere. As much as you would love to breathe—you can’t. Not when Jimin stares at you like this…stares at you like he really does know you. Stares at you with eyes full of some unreadable emotion. You look at him, trying your best to read his expression. You finally release a long breath, still staring when it finally hits you. You can read him—you can read him well. You know exactly what he wants.

“You want to kiss me.” The worlds tumble out of your mouth quickly and quietly and Jimin’s smile drops and his eyes expand but before he can save himself and maybe even lie to you…you lean in and plant your lips on top of his. 

You weren’t thinking…not exactly. You just followed whatever your body wanted. And it seems Jimin is doing the same. The moment your lips touched his, he already had his hands traveling across your waist until they are now cupping the back of your neck, his own lips working over yours. 

You don’t know how long you two have been kissing but it feels good, there isn’t even tongue yet but it’s still messy and hot. The low groaning coming from Jimin is making every nerve in your body react, your fingers tugging his hair and pulling him closer to you, leading his body over yours as you start to lay back. 

Jimin is quick to slot himself between your legs, getting as close as possible to you while his lips never leave yours. When he lightly bites down on your bottom lip, tugging it back and making you buck your hips into his crotch, he finally slides his tongue in your mouth. Warm, wet and sloppy and so fucking hypnotizing. Especially the way he starts grinding into you.

Jimin pulls away from your lips so he can start exploring other parts of you with his mouth. His tongue glides across your jaw, your head leaning further back, a soft moan leaving you while Jimin continues to grind. He sucks a spot on your neck while his hands get busy—he wastes no time—his fingers already at your pants, trying his best to unbutton them quickly while he kisses your skin. 

“Wait, wait.” You whine, eyes slamming shut. “I’m on my period.” Your own hands go to his to stop him from taking your pants off. Jimin leans away from you before he smirks.

“You know I don’t care.” He whispers, his lips finding yours again. He pecks your lips over and over, his fingers still trying to mess with the button. Your eyes roll back, wanting nothing more than for him to do whatever it is he wants with you. But you stop him again, smile on your lips as you cup his face.

“It’s not light.” You inform him, “It’s okay, seriously.” 

Jimin breathes out roughly, his forehead coming down to yours as he calms himself down. “Okay, okay.” He tells you, “That’s okay—”

“You’re hard?”

Jimin disconnects his forehead from yours just barely, only for his eyes to meet your eyes. “y/n.” He moans your name and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer. Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “You know I’m so hard right now. I’m so fucking hard for you.” 

“Let me take care of you.” You begin rising from the couch, your hands on his chest as you push him back. “Let me make you feel good.”

“I feel good already babe.” Jimin gazes at you, his eyes softening but the lust is still very much alive in them.

“You like looking at my hands right?” You push Jimin even more, his back hitting the couch cushion. “Don’t you want to see them wrapped around your cock?” 

Jimin freezes for only a second, his chest beginning to heave more and more as he lets the image of you playing with his cock linger in his mind. 

“You were right, Jimin.”

“About what?” He struggles to speak coherently, his dick so painfully erect now. 

“You do touch me in a way that I ache to touch you back.” Your fingers go to his jeans, already unbuttoning them and sliding down the zipper. “My ideal world…fuck,” You help him get his jeans off, your hand dipping inside his briefs. “I touch you too.” Your fingers barely brush against his member but you can feel it react instantly. It twitches and Jimin’s eyes become half lidded as he stares at you. “This is my ideal world, Jimin.” 

“Then touch me…fuck,” He whines, struggling to keep his eyes open and on you. Your fingers wrap around the shaft, barely stroking him when he breathes harder and harder. “Fucking touch me more baby.” 

“More? Maybe my hands aren’t enough for you Jimin.” You finally pull his member out as Jimin’s own hands scramble to tug his underwear down to his thick thighs. “You don’t want to come all over my hands right? You’d rather come down my throat, huh? You’d rather have me swallow your cum, taste you and crave you later when you aren’t here.” 

“You would crave me, wouldn’t you?” Jimin’s raspy voice makes your head spin. This entire scene in front of you makes your head spin actually. The way he looks at you, eyes barely open, his lips extra plump and swollen from kissing and his chest rising and falling quickly. “Because you’re so addicted to me.”

He nailed it, you think. You are addicted…the way he kisses, the way he touches, the way he fucks, the way he just exists in front of you.

“I am.” You tell him, eyes on his while you lower your face to his cock, wasting no time in wrapping your lips around the head. 

“y/n…” Jimin whimpers your name, his eyes closing for a moment. “I love this…love this…” 

You know he does. You know this addiction has you doing things you both agreed you wouldn’t do because you couldn’t—because you shouldn’t. Yet here you are, pleasing Jimin until he tenses beneath you and spilling all of his warm cum into your mouth. And here he is drowning in you all over again. 

~~~~~

“What is up with them?” You whisper to Hoseok, both of you staring at Naomi and Jeremy from across the table as they blatantly ignore one another. 

“By the way, y/n…” Jeremy gets your attention but stops midway to take a bite of his lunch, “It’s Wednesday, don’t forget to help me print out my report.”

“Uh huh.” You nod,  eyes going between him and Naomi. “Are you guys like…okay?”

“Us?” Naomi gestures between her and Jeremy. “Obviously. What great friends like us wouldn’t be okay?”

“Exactly.” Jeremy mumbles with his mouth full. “We’re amazing.”

“Oh dude, how was your date on Friday? What’s this one’s name again?” Hoseok asks, dipping pineapple into some sauce. “It was date two, right?”

Jeremy swallows his food before glancing at Naomi awkwardly, “Yeah, it was good. Her name is Mimi. I’m supposed to see her again sometime this weekend, maybe Saturday but I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Naomi stares ahead, eating her own lunch. “Right, you seem to not know a lot of things, huh?” 

Jeremy rolls his eyes at this, “Anyway, she’s a nice girl—”

“Well, if you like her so much you should definitely go out with her again!” Naomi turns her head towards Jeremy and smiles. “But you know, don’t tell her you like her if you aren’t even sure though. That would be pretty fucked up.” She tells him, smile still on her face before she turns to look at you and Hoseok. “Right, guys? Imagine?” 

“Yeah…” You blink at them, still so confused what is going on. 

The four of you get back to your office and continue working for the day. It’s around 4 when your boss, Mr. Lincoln calls for a meeting. You groan, not wanting to get lectured again on whatever it is he wants improved. You and Hoseok share a look with one another as you take your seats in the meeting room, waiting for whatever it is Mr. Lincoln wants to scold your office for. 

“Alright!” Mr. Lincoln claps his hands together, “I know most of you have already heard by now but I will be taking a leave for a few months! Some other business I have to attend to but no worries, my wife’s very capable nephew will be coming to fill in for a bit.”

“Great.” Hoseok leans in to whisper, his voice annoyed. “I bet this person doesn’t know shit.” 

“Same.” You mutter back.

Mr. Lincoln glances at the two of you before he continues, “If you think I can be hard on you all then you will finally realize how easy it is here with me.” He starts to chuckle, shaking his head lightly. “My nephew takes his roles very seriously. Please keep that in mind when you try to goof off. You, especially.” He points at Hoseok, “I know how much you and your friends love to chat.”

“It’s y/n who always starts the conversations!” Hoseok tries to put the blame on you, “She’s the culprit!”

“Nonsense.” Mr. Lincoln looks at you now, “I know y/n is a very hard worker.”

Naomi and Jeremy start laughing at this and you just shrug, Hoseok glares at you while mouthing ‘he wants to fuck you’ when Mr. Lincoln isn’t looking. You just swat his arm and carry on.

“Friday will be my last day but no worries, I will be back everyone. Let’s work hard.” 

~

You and Hoseok sit on his couches, finishing take out that you both decide wasn’t very good and probably too expensive. It’s only Wednesday and that thought alone sucks since you are so ready for this week to be over. 

“I can’t believe you guys did it again.” Your best friends says, rubbing his belly from how full he is despite the food only being a like 5 out of 10. “Is this going to become a thing?”

“First,” You slide your food container away from you, “We didn’t do it again. Just…you know,” 

“I love you but shut up.” Hoseok laughs. “It counts.”

“I’m so stupid, Hobi. We came to a whole ass conclusion that we shouldn’t yet we—”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.” 

“Or my vagina.” You deadpan.

“Normally I would agree but your secret garden didn’t even get any action so…”

“I guess that’s true.” You frown. “He’s so…he makes me…I don’t even know.”

“I think you do know.” Hoseok tells you bluntly, “You do know…but you won’t say it and I have no idea why. I’m your best friend. Just say exactly what you’re thinking.”

You stare at him before you scoff to yourself, “Hoseok, trust me. I’m not even thinking things in my brain with my brain voice the thoughts that my brain is even having. If I can’t even make my brain voice say those things how the hell do you think I’m going to get my mouth voice to do it?”

“Too many voices.” Hoseok shakes his head, “Anyway, I get it. I guess. But okay, let’s start there—have the thoughts in your head and like, hear them.” 

“No thanks.” You tell him right away, “I’m good.”

“You’re being so—” Hoseok’s head shoots up when he hears his door bell ring. “Who is here?” He wonders, glancing at you but you shrug. Hoseok stands from his sofa and walks through his home to answer the front door. You can hear him open the door, whatever, whatever but your ears really perk up when you hear a voice that is all too familiar. 

“Jimin?” You turn to see Hoseok and Jimin walk through, Jimin’s eyes expanding when he spots you.

“y/n?” He questions you in return. “You’re here?”

“…Yes. You’re here?”

“Yes…” 

“And I’m here too!” Hoseok grins. “Ah, but maybe you guys wish I wasn’t,” He starts smirking. “You know, so you two could…” He wiggles his brows at both of you when Jimin’s eyes go wide.

“You told him?!” Jimin blurts out, his finger pointing at you.

“Of course I told him?!” You look at him incredulously, “Why wouldn’t I have? He’s my best friend!”

“True.” Hoseok nods in approval.

“Why are you shocked!” You shout, “Didn’t you tell anyone?!” 

“Who am I going to tell?!” Jimin looks at you just as incredulously. 

“Uh, Taehyung??” 

“Taehyung?!” Jimin looks at you like you are insane. “Seriously? If I told Taehyung right now he would just…he would be so happy! He would literally start planning a wedding! You know…again.”

“Shit,” You tear your eyes away from his for a moment, “That’s totally understandable. So then why are you here?”

Jimin shifts awkwardly from one foot to another, his eyes going from you to Hoseok before he’s lifting a finger to point at your best friend. “Uh…” Jimin stares at you blankly. “To tell…him.” 

“Of course.” You deadpan. 

“Wait, really?” Hoseok lights up,  grin growing. “You came here to talk to me about this stuff?”

“Yes?” Jimin looks a bit unsure. “If that’s cool?”

Hoseok lights up even more, “Of course that’s cool!” Then he looks at you, “y/n, hurry, go home.”

“What?” “Go home!” Hoseok whines. “I want to hear everything from Jimin’s perspective.” Then he glances at Jimin, “Because I, you know, care.”

“He’s just nosey as fuck.” You tell Jimin with a straight face as you stand from the couch, “But fine, you’re lucky, I was wanting to go home anyway.”

~

You are curious, of course. So curious actually. So curious in fact that you’ve texted Hoseok like 8 times but he still hasn’t answered and it’s already almost midnight. You are wondering what Jimin told Hoseok, what his thoughts are—his feelings. You want to know. But don’t you already know? Didn’t he already tell you everything? You’re wondering if you should give up on Hoseok texting you back and just wait until tomorrow at work to get answers. But right when you think you’re giving up, your phone goes off.

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

I shoulda known I was gonna come find my phone with a bunch of texts from you and YOU call ME nosey!!!!

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

But ok wow. Tonight was a lot

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

Like a lot 

y/n 11:56pm

what happened??? What did he tell you?

Hobi:)) 11:58pm

He told me maybe everything? He told me about emma dude…that shit hurted. Anyway so much stuff makes sense now…he also told me why he broke your heart and stuff and like I said…so much stuff makes sense

y/n 12:01am

oh

Hobi:)) 12:02am

Yeeeeaah…but umm he did also tell me about you guys hooking up and also what you guys talked about

y/n 12:03am

okay and

Hobi:))12:08am

And I feel like he didn’t tell you everything

y/n 12:08am

???

y/n 12:08am

what are you talking about

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Im just saying I don’t think he told you everything

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Like based on what you told me he said, I don’t think he told you everything and also he said even more stuff tonight and idk kinda feels like you two need to talk again 

y/n 12:12am

genuinely so confused

y/n 12:12am

just tell me?

Hobi:)) 12:13am

No no no this is something that needs to come from him…im not saying he intentionally didn’t tell you something but I think he might have something to say or idk. Idk how to explain it but look regardless figure your shit out with joon cuz this is gonna get messy fast

y/n 12:20am 

wtf hobi

Hobi:)) 12:22am

Im team jimin btw. Hes a good guy y/n and you know this already and I know things sucked for a while but he does care about you and I care about you and I want to see you happy and isn’t that jimin? 

Hobi:)) 12:40am

You aren’t replying so I know im right. But I also know something else…because jimin is the one that makes you happy that’s why you wont choose him right? Because the happier a person can make you also means this person can also make you the saddest and youre terrified of that I get it y/n but that thought breaks my heart and I hope I am wrong

y/n 12:43am

goodnight hobi 

~~~~~

It’s Thursday evening when Jimin calls you, asking if he can come over and talk to you about something—obviously you say yes but not even a minute after you hang up with him, your phone is ringing again. Namjoon.

“Hello?” you answer pretty quickly. You haven’t really heard from him all week since he’s been out of town.

“Hey.” He sounds tired, exhausted even. “You busy?”

“Not currently, why?”

“Well, first,” Namjoon pauses, his voice still sounding tired but you can tell he’s smiling. “How was your day?”

“It was good.” You respond, “Tiring.”

“Tell me about it. I’m actually back in town, just got home and I thought I’d see if you wanted to come over for a little while? I have an early morning but I would love to see you even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“Oh.” You stare at nothing, thinking about how Jimin is probably already on his way. “I—”

“I really need to see you.” Namjoon chuckles, “It has not been a very good week.”

“Oh.” You say much softer. “Okay…Um, I can leave in a few minutes then.” 

“Perfect, be safe on your way here.”

You and Namjoon hang up and you feel a bit of dread as you dial Jimin’s number and to call him and let him know he can no longer come hang out with you. He answers on the second ring.

“Hey.” He sounds nice on the other line, his voice something so soothing to you.

“Hey…” 

“What’s up? You okay?”

“Actually,” You pause, wondering how it will feel for him. “Namjoon just called and he’s home and wants to see me but I was going to tell him no but—”

“It’s okay.” Jimin cuts in, “If you need to cancel, I get it.”

“It’s not that I just want to cancel on you, Jimin. He just sounds like he had a bad week and—”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Jimin tells you, voice soft. “Are you staying there?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just a for a little while.”

“Okay…want to come by my place after you see him? I still want to talk to you.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, “I can do that.”

~

You’re barely even finishing knocking on Namjoon’s door when he’s already swinging it open and pulling you inside. 

“Hi.” He brings you close to him, his arms wrapping around your body as he embraces you tightly. “I missed you.”

“Hi.” You say back, the word getting lost into his t shirt as he squeezes you to his chest. 

You’re nervous to be here to be honest. You plan on telling Namjoon about what you’ve done with Jimin but you’re waiting for the right timing. 

“I had the shittiest week.” He tells you, “I just need you around to feel better.”

And you are realizing maybe this isn’t the right timing. Namjoon finally peels himself off of you, holding you at arm’s length and smiling the kind of smile that makes you feel weaker. 

But even this smile lacks in joy. He’s tired. He’s looking beat from the week. He’s looking like he only needs to hear good things. 

Namjoon takes a deep breath before hugging you again. 

“What happened?” You finally ask. “Is everything okay?”

Namjoon leads you to his cream sofa, taking a seat next to you and starts telling you about his week.

“Honestly, my writing is just…I’m in a funk, maybe? But everything has been garbage…at least to me. Emiko has been trying to cheer me up but she’s going through her own stuff and she’s just…she’s probably had a worse week than me.” Namjoon sighs, “She just doesn’t realize she deserves so much better—anyway. Two, yes two, of the meetings I had this week to set up for the tour this summer got canceled because they’re pulling out! Like, pulling out altogether so that’s great news.” He frowns now, his fingers rubbing his temple. “It just feels like things with my career aren’t progressing the way I want them to but also, Emiko is my agent and she works so hard but…”

“But what?”

“I know she’s going through a really tough time. And I can’t really help her and that bugs me. Sorry, I’m just…I hate when I can’t be there for someone I care about.”

You smile at Namjoon because that sounds just like him. “I’m sure she knows you are here for her, Joon.”

“She doesn’t want me to be. That’s the thing.” His frown deepens. “She made a huge deal about us needing to be more professional…that at the end of the day she’s just my agent. That hurt, you know?”

“Oh.” You feel your heart hurt for him, “That would hurt. For sure. But she’s probably just saying that because she’s dealing with whatever is going on with her. Maybe she’s trying to push you away but even if you have to just stay by her side silently…she will appreciate it.”

Namjoon’s lips finally lift into a smile, “You’re right.” He tells you, “I’m just…I’ve known her almost my whole life. I hate seeing her in a bad mood, I guess.”

“You’re very sweet.” 

And he is…he is very sweet. 

“Thank you, y/n. I knew talking to you and seeing you would be something that would make me feel better.”

You only nod at him, guilt starting to bubble over but you try to push that away as you come to your decision. Namjoon is a good man, a very good man and you would be stupid as hell to lose this. 

~

“Hey, I’m leaving Namjoon’s. I know it’s late but did you still want me to come over?” You ask Jimin over the phone, “I can be there in 20.”

“Actually,” Jimin’s voice sounds a little muffled, “I’m kind of already at your place.”

“Huh?” 

“I was feeling bored so I just came here. I’m just outside, chillin.”

“Oh.” You turn, driving through a neighborhood as you start making your way to your place instead. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Okay, be safe. See you soon.” And then he is hanging up. 

You arrive to your place not too much later, walking up to your apartment when you see Jimin sitting outside your door, dark hair looking longer, blowing in the breeze.

You greet him casually as you unlock your front door and you both make your way inside.

Jimin slips his shoes off and is already making his way to your living room, plopping down on the couch. You eye him over as you take off your own shoes, “You okay?” You ask.

Jimin looks a little odd—maybe nervous or anxious, his leg shaking up and down. He just nods his head but you can see how he swallows hard. 

“Okay…” You walk towards him, taking a seat next to him.

“How was Namjoon’s?” Jimin asks, “Did you tell him?”

“Did I—oh, no. He uh, he was having a hard time and I didn’t want to potentially make it harder so I haven’t…”

Jimin stops shaking his leg as he nods slowly, “Oh. I see.”  “But I made my decision.” You look Jimin in the eye but he grows a little confused.

“About?”

“Namjoon.”

Jimin eyes’ go wide before he’s gesturing for you to continue.

“If Namjoon still wants a relationship with me even after I tell him what we did…I’m going to agree. I’m going—”

“Wait.” Jimin’s eyes search yours, “Wait, wait. What?”

“Yeah. I’m going to, you know, be his girlf—” “That’s…” Jimin’s gaze falls to your lap. “That’s what you want?”

“Yes.” You tell him. “It is.”

“It’s what you want because you like him. Right?” His eyes find yours again, but they have hardened.

“Y-Yeah.” 

Jimin stares at you for moments too long, his gaze making you feel nervous but he finally tears his eyes from you, licks his drying lips and stands from the couch. “Okay. I really wish you good luck, y/n. I hope this works out.”

“Thanks…” You mumble, your eyes on his back. “What—what did you want to talk about though?”

He turns to face you, a small smile on his lips. “It’s nothing now. Don’t worry. I’m going to head home but we’ll talk soon, yeah?”

~~~~~

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck—”

“What?!” You shout at Hoseok, who sits at his desk beside you, “Why are you freaking out?”

“Dae just texted me.” He tells you, “And it’s…”

“It’s? It’s what?”

“Holy shit. What am I going to do?” He drags his hands down his face, “We have barely spoken since you know what, but now this???”

“What?”

“Apparently, Taehyung and Dae are going to get here this evening. She said Taehyung planned it and is wanting her to come so he doesn’t fall asleep on the drive…plus in his eyes—well, in his eyes I didn’t,” He lowers his voice into a whisper, “you know, fuck his sister and leave her the next morning!” 

“Oh, damn.” You can’t help but smirk. “This should be entertaining.”

“He wants all of us to go out tonight for drinks,” Hoseok groans, “Jeremy and Jimin already confirmed they’d go but they don’t have to see Dae!”

“They will see Dae?”

“Yeah but they don’t have to see her after they’ve,” He lowers his voice again, “Fucked her!”

“True. But uh, Jimin said he would go?” You try to act nonchalant, eyes going back to your screen. “Cool.”

“Why are you being weird?” Hoseok accuses you right away. “Did something happen?”

“I wish I knew.” You tell him, “He’s barely talking to me today.”

“For real? He’s been blowing my phone up.” Hoseok shrugs, “Wait, once again, did something happen?”

“He came over to talk last night, uh, I told him I was going to give things with Namjoon a shot and he got weird and left. I texted him asking is he got home safe, blah, blah but anyway, he’s been so dry with me.”

“He came to talk but you told him…are you serious?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me you aren’t serious.”

“But I am serious.”

“I know you aren’t that dumb, y/n.” Hoseok tells you with a straight face. “You really—”

“I made my decision, Hoseok.” You glance at your phone when you see a text from Dae. “Anyway, I’ll tell Naomi. I guess we are all hanging out tonight.”

Present 

“No, no, no.” Taehyung looks at everyone with shocked eyes. “Dae?! Even you?!”

“Yes, even me, brother.” She looks unimpressed, taking another sip of her drink just for fun now.

“Hold on. Jimin?! But also…y/n?! Wait,” He slurs, a grin starting to form. “I will be the happiest man alive if you guys both had sex at the same time.” Then he looks a little puzzled, “I mean because it was you know,” He starts thrusting his pointing finger inside a hole he made with his other hand’s fingers. “Together.” 

“Jeez, Taehyung.” You grumble, “Yeah, whatever. We did.” You look across the table to see Jimin who just sits here, eyes on his drink only. 

“What?!” Taehyung shouts, “How?! How did that happen?! Oh my god, I have so many questions but I need to continue down this list. Okay, skipping Dae…Hoseok?! Who did you have sex with in the last week???” 

Hoseok gulps, his eyes accidentally going straight to Dae and Taehyung is pretty quick to pick up what Hoseok is putting down.

“Wait, wait.” Taehyung points between Hoseok and Dae. “My…my sister?! Ah, come on, man! Not my sister! I know I wanted you to find someone! But not my sister!!!!”

“Why? You don’t think I’m good enough for your friend, Taehyung?” Dae rolls her eyes, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t seem to think so either.” 

“Hey, I never said that.” Hoseok says, voice only directed at Dae. “I—seriously I don’t think that, Dae. I’m sor—”

“Moving the fuck on,” Taehyung looks at Jeremy now. “Jeremy?! Oh my god, was it the girl you went out with last week? She is pretty hot, bro. Surprised you didn’t tell us in the group chat though!” 

Jeremy glances around the table before reaching for his glass and chugging the remainder of his drink. 

“I’m curious too actually.” You look over at Jeremy, “You didn’t say anything. And Naomi, who the hell did you sleep with? I’m so confused…have you been seeing someone? Wait!” You look at her shocked, “Did you meet someone and had a one night stand?!”

Naomi reaches for her glass as well and starts chugging. 

“Is this…” Dae glances around the table, “Is this not obvious to everyone?”

“They aren’t the brightest here.” Jimin finally says something, mumbling at he sips his drink again.

“Jeremy, you slept with Mimi?” Hoseok pats his back, “You didn’t even tell us!” 

“Mimi this, Mimi that.” Naomi mocks, “Hate to break it to you guys,” She lifts her head and looks at everyone, “But I just don’t think Jeremy is that into her.”

“Naomi, stop.” Jeremy warns, “We already—”

“We already what?” She rolls her eyes.

“You don’t even like the way I talk to girls! You think the ‘weird’ poetry shit I do is cringey!” Jeremy suddenly shouts, “You hate it!”

“I do think it is cringey!” Naomi shouts back, you all look at these two confused as hell. “But I don’t hate it, you dumbass.”

“You do hate it! You think it’s cringe??!?!”

“Yes, it’s literally the cringiest shit but I don’t hate it!” 

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, looking at Hoseok and he’s just as confused as you. 

“That doesn’t even make sense?!” Jeremy tells Naomi, “You’re driving me crazy!”

“It does make sense!” Naomi looks frustrated, “You know…okay, you know that weird ass shoulder dance y/n does?”

“Why are you bringing me into this?” You ask with a straight face.

“Yeah,” Jeremy nods, eyeing Naomi wondering where she is going with this. “It’s literally the worst thing I have ever seen.”

“Exactly! It’s so horrible and disgusting and so fucking—”

“Yeah, it’s absolutely cringe.” Hoseok adds his two cents.

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, “How did this become about me??”

“We always tell y/n we hate it and it’s so cringey but we laugh our asses off every time she does it and we know she’s always going to do it, right? We think it’s the worst thing we’ve ever seen but we love it, don’t we?” Naomi looks at Jeremy, “It’s the worst but we love it. We never want her to stop the stupid thing she does with her shoulders.”

Jeremy’s mouth falls open a little as he realizes what Naomi is saying, “Wait. Are you…”

“Your poetry is cringe Jeremy but I love it because it’s yours and it’s you and god, you’re so stupid.” Naomi stands from her chair, “I’m going to get another drink.”

“I’m coming with you.” Dae stands as well, “Suddenly I want to get black out drunk.”

“Wait, wait.” You stop the girls from leaving. “But who did you have sex with, Naomi??”

“Are you serious…” Dae shakes her head at you, “It’s so obvious girl, come on.”

“It’s really not?” You question, eyes going to Hoseok who is just as lost as you.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.” Hoseok tells you guys, “Jimin and y/n, Me and …Dae…and uh, Jeremy with Mimi but who’s your person?”

“Ha!” Naomi rolls her eyes harder than ever, “Mimi! Yeah fucking right. He didn’t go home with Mimi last Friday. Did you Jeremy? He came to my place after their little date and I’m sure you guys can figure out the rest.”

“I’m literally…figure what out?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs.

“Oh my god…” Jimin huffs out, “Jeremy went to Naomi’s place after his date and somehow ended up fucking Naomi.”

“What?” You blink at Jimin before you snort, Hoseok joining you immediately, “Yeah, there is no way.”

“You guys are so dense.” Dae deadpans. “It was in front of you guys this whole time.”

You and Hoseok are still laughing but when Jeremy and Naomi don’t say anything you guys start quieting down, confusion growing more and more.

“Wow.” Taehyung glances at Aeri, “You are never wrong about these things!” 

Aeri starts laughing drunkenly, “I told you!” 

“This is…I’m just going to go home and get drunk now.” Naomi groans, “Dae, you in?”

“Hell yeah, I will never say no to something like that.”

“y/n?” Naomi asks you as well but you’re still looking between here and Jeremy and wondering how you missed this.

“Uh,” You blink at her before your eyes find Jimin. “Actually, I’m going to stay for a bit.”

“Suit yourself.” Dae says, spinning in her spot to leave.

“Wait, Dae—” Hoseok stands from his chair but her and Naomi wave everyone off before they head out.

“This is crazy.” Jeremy mumbles, “Naomi…oh god.” 

“So you fucked Naomi but then what?” Taehyung slurs.

“I uh, told her I didn’t mean to do that because we’re friends…good friends.” Jeremy looks down at the table, “Then she went on about how we are for sure just friends…so she obviously regretted it, right? Anyway, It’s been hell since.”

“Well,” Hoseok lips set into a straight line. “This week is suddenly making so much sense.”

“Okay, now to the pairing I am most curious about.” Taehyung shows you all a mischievous grin, “Jimin, care to explain how you sexed up our wonderful y/n?” He winks at you both, making Aeri giggle more. 

Jimin sighs out, his hand sweeping through his hair as he stands. “It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t feel appropriate to talk about when she basically has a boyfriend.” 

“But they aren’t tech—”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Jimin smiles at Taehyung. “She’s into him and going to take that next step!” And then he’s walking off towards the bar.

“Next st—”

“Jimin.” You stand too, walking after him. 

“Oh.” Aeri sways into Taehyung’s side, “It’s just us now! Well, us and the guy who had sex with your sis—”

“LALALALA!”

~

“Jimin!” You call for the man, trying your best to catch up with him. He gets to the bar and you finally make it by his side, leaning against the bar top as you stare at his side profile. “Can you just tell me what is wrong?” 

“Nothing.” He stares ahead but you aren’t buying it—obviously. 

“Can you just…can you look at me?” Your hand goes to his shoulder and he tenses beneath your touch. “Jimin?”

He sighs out heavily before turning to face you, his eyes locking with yours when you decide you can easily read him but you don’t want to. You don’t want to read everything he is saying but he tells you anyway.

“This is a mistake, y/n.” He tells it to you straight.

“What is?”

“Namjoon.” 

Yeah, you scoff at this because to be frank—it annoys you. It irks you that he isn’t supporting your decision about Namjoon. And you cannot figure out why 100%. 

“Okay.” You brows pull up quickly before you relax them. “That’s cool.”

“It’s all for the wrong reasons and you know it.” The tone of his voice chooses to annoy you more than anything. “You aren’t in love with him.”

“I don’t need to be in love with him, I just need to like him. God, it does not have to be that deep.”

“You like him the same way you liked the pet fish you had your freshmen year.”

“Just stop,” 

“No.”

“You’ve been cold to me because you don’t think I should date Namjoon? That seems immature.”

“It’s not…” Jimin’s eyes soften, “Maybe I am immature. But I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later…”

“So none of your reasons are selfish ones?” You snap, Jimin’s brows pulling together before he breaks his eye contact with you to stare at the floor. “I need this Jimin.”

“Need what?”

Yeah, need what? That’s a great question. You’re letting something take over you, something close to a frustration but you aren’t sure what. This feels like something is coming to the surface—something not even the voice in your head has spoken yet. 

“How is it…” Your voice is cold towards him, “That you got to move on and experience love again but I never got to? How come you got to but I never did? What? You think me trying my hardest to have something new for myself is bad? Is a fucking mistake? Rich coming from someone who already got this chance.”

Jimin’s eyes rise to meet yours and it feels like a punch to the gut. His eyes are full of something close to pain yet he tries to smile.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He tells you quietly, softly even. “I shouldn’t be trying to…” He pauses, swallowing hard to calm himself. “You’ve made your decision. I don’t know if I don’t want you to be with Namjoon for selfish reasons or because I really do think you aren’t doing the right thing. Maybe it’s both.” He tries to smile a little more. “Yeah, it’s both.”

“W-What are your selfish reasons?” You find yourself asking but Jimin just scoffs to himself, smile still in place.

“You already know them.” He tells you simply. “The night we talked about what we did—the sex. We said the things we were going to discuss were, how it went, what it meant, why did we do it and what do we do now.”

“I remember.” You tilt your head, “What about it?”

“We knew how it went. We talked about why we did it and what we do now but neither of us had an answer for ‘what it meant’ and I didn’t tell you the truth. You said you didn’t know and I agreed. But I lied, y/n.” His smile is still in place and it makes you feel anxious. Especially because his eyes are void of any positive emotion. 

“You lied?”

“Yeah,” He hums. “I know what it meant to me.”

“What…what did it mean to you, Jimin?”

“Why would I even need to tell you that when you’ve already made your decision, y/n?” His smile starts dropping. “I told you that you’re afraid of having a love again like what you had with me and you said ‘maybe’ but I think the thing you’re afraid of is me.” Jimin’s eyes bore into yours, his gaze so intense as they gloss over. “And,” He gulps. “I fucking get it. Because I,” He pauses, gaze still set on you as he tries to push down his emotions. “I am also so fucking afraid of you.”