#love again chapter 12
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Thinking about how Toriyama wrote an Entire Plot centering around how Vegeta has spent the last seven years learning how to be happy and comfortable with his family on Earth and how he loves his wife so much that being Gently Reminded that he loves his wife was enough to pull him out of a violent midlife crisis and made him such a powerful guardian of Earth that Heaven broke its own rules just to put him back in that position
and Toei was like 'okay but in the sequel to that plot their marriage is terrible and he's never home'
#mmmkay but toei sweetie that's Goku. That's Goku you're thinking of. goku's the one who wife-dodges and doesn't come home for months#bulma goes full guns blazing rescue mission if she loses track of her husband for more than a week. she'll kill a man for Vegeta#Bulma shot a 12 year old in the face! she kicked vegeta out of her house when he was being a jerk about her pregnancy! she is NOT the one!!#Toei writing Vegeta rude all the time like Bulma would not Leave his ass is so funny. She ALREADY left his ass once she'd do it again.#She does not tolerate bullshit. She is not Chichi. She does not need him. She's already been through that shit with Yamcha she's TIRED.#The end of the last manga chapter of Vegeta going 'yeah I should get home or Bulma will forget me' is so good.#He knows she doesn't put up with being mistreated. He loves her for it. Bulma's the person he's mean WITH not /to/ you fools.#sorry if y'all follow my personal i AM hating very loudly on dbs again tonight while I try to get through it kasdjklasj#dbtag
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WHATEVER YOU SAY BEAUTIFUL!!!
Bsd 120 raws
Fyodor’s little stretch…!
My thoughts? Honestly, it’s a bit of a nothing chapter (I say as I don’t know what any of the dialogue is but I know it’s just going to be Fyodor explaining more space-dimensional bullshit manga logic). It is exciting to have Fukuzawa face off against Fyodor, but Asagiri pulls this SO often man, where it’s like “A new challenger enters the ring” every chapter and multiple times per fight.
And this fight really should’ve been Akutagawa’s time to shine. I know he’s going to get back up, but man.
#ahli spams bsd#bsd 120#bsd spoilers#fyodor dostoevsky#I love that black haired bimbo!!!#someone needs to stop Asagiri from undermining his own writing#this is a problem that lends itself to the medium but you can absolutely work around it#I get time limitations and. just not killing your artists I get that but#if you need an easier going chapter this easily could’ve been a pov change to Dazai chuuya and maybe sigma#have THEM discuss the nature of Fyodor’s power instead on fyodor literally stopping to monologue for 2-3 pages#that would fix the pacing not be difficult to execute and create anticipation for the next chapter where the fight would then happen#easily could fit into 15 pages or even 13 or 12 honestly and would give them a nice break#then in bsd 121 harukawa and Asagiri could put their all into depicting pure action that doesn’t need to be interrupted by exposition#not to mention that . while I like him. fukuzawa has had TWO fakeout life threatening stabs#that’s egregious writing work he’s just going to go up against amengozen and have ANOTHER life threatening ‘fatal’ stab before he gets up#AGAIN#writing so ‘…’ you have me agreeing with skk shippers. yeah maybe they should show up for once the writing calls for it
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Can we pls pls get a line from ch8 🥺
Spoiler 👇🏽
#mimianswers#fic: iwyts#also here to say that chapters will take longer to be posted from now on as I continue writing ch 12 and I’d forgotten how draining it is#like I love the editing process and I don’t wanna take the fun out of it by feeling pressured to post something every week and again#it has to be consistent and stuff but also I return to uni next week !#TY for understanding!!
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Small thing I’m cooking for idksomethingclever99’s fic MITPP!! For some reason I’m having trouble tagging them but here’s the fic!!
This seemed fun to do… probably won’t get more done than this page though…
#omori#omori au#omori mari#omori sunny#I’m ALSO trying to do this with my mutual lynx’s fic is it a bird#because I originally wanted to do one big piece for it but I’ve been STRUGGLING and demotivated#plus I’d LOVE to do an adaptation of one of their chapters#ANYWAYS#detail I really loved in retrospect of chapter 12 is how this fic keeps the detail of the bedlam’s clothes changing to foreshadow her true-#-form as time goes on#or in this case aliquid#since he’s more of this shadowy creature than anything#being covered in an all black suit was a fantastic choice so I’m trying to add something elements throughout#namely the tie… but I’m going to try squeeze it in elsewhere#also not sure what Maris wearing here so I improvised… it probably says somewhere so I’ll go back and check#I thought her picnic sweater outfit would suffice as it’s pretty similar to what coraline’s wearinv at this point in the story!!#not sure how I feel about all the heromari I’m going to be able to draw…#on one hand it’s heromari but in the other hand it’s fucking Henry#he CREEPS me out god I hate him but I live him because I know that’s the whole point of him#get AWAY omg#anyway yes this is the Button Eye scene! so end of chapter 10 to start of chapter 11#I might do the drawing room too because I really want to draw it but that’s a bit of a stretch#honestly though coraline is a very visually interesting film and that’s part of the point and experience of it#and I feel like this fic deserves the same#especially with the amount of effort and detail and beauty idk puts into their settings… eg drawing room scene#anyway. rambling again. take art have fun#coraline
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Chat I am too sleepy to finish the chapter tonight despite my excitement… but it shall be done tomorrow! I have the day off!! (First in 15 days I believe?)
#loopjuice#blue babbles#time’s arrow#I’m proud of myself for realizing I am too tired to keep writing despite my excitement#usually I would force myself to work through it and then run out of excitement too quickly#this chapter title is ‘wait for me - I’m comin’ - wait I’m comin’ with you’#next chapter is titled ‘flowers - I remember fields of flowers’ and it. ouch#i would like to once again remind everyone before this chapter and the next drops that loopjuice as it is currently planned has a happy end#soooo don’t. be too frightened by the last scene of chap 11#love using GMM screenshots as reaction images. mentally I am Rhett falling off the marshmallow chair#ITS MARSHMALLOW NOT MARSHMELLOW?? WHAT#I’m making art for the cover of chap 12! maybe#if I don’t get weird about it but it’s a simple cover
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ergrg rh h. rejuv….
#game good game great#favorite game of all time for me i think#anyways take these scribbles i dont really feel like finishing rn#im at chapter 14 now and man. man…#what did she mean by that. what is happening.#i mean i know whats happening but. what is happening#talking about what happened in angies whatever btw im still not over that#this game is so..#the sprite updates are everything to me btw. there is so much personality on those itty bitty faces#the chapter titles too.. why would they do that. chapter 12.. ow#so many things added.. love all the changes a lot#the new art pieces too… so so good#i wanna replay it so bad already and im not even done with this one yet#sorry this game got to me again and it got to me bad#pokemon rejuvenation#also ignore the seviper i wasnt looking at a reference for that guy and i dont really feel like fixing it
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yk i was having trouble writing tllr chapter 12 because Dew is sick with a fever in the beginning and i just,, idk felt uninspired or something because im not the biggest fan of sickfics or whatever
well now i’m sick with a fever and it’s helll so sorry Dew im gonna have to put you through this now my bad 👍👍 at least i am now inspired
if this post makes no sense it’s because my brain hurts and i’m tired 👍👍👍
#i’m fine it’s just kinda funny#like last night i was writing ahead to chapter 14 because i was stuck on chapter 12 cuz i didn’t know how to write it#and now i’m sick with a fever just like Dew hahahaha sorry buddy but we’re in this together now 👍👍👍 and it’s 105 idk if that’s normal#at least it’s giving me inspiration and i am no longer stuck on it#but i’m too sick to fucking write it!!!! i wanna write uhhgjjfjdjd#ok im done#well actually i had the craziest dream last night#it was about this new animated movie that doesn’t exist and i was watching it/ acting it out as the main character and it was so fucking#cool like i was flyingggg!!! i was a weird purple creature with wings and was flying just like dew it was fucking awesome#like there were so many really cool characters with really creative designs and the antagonist was a weird giant bug who could also fly#so he was chasing me around in the air and it was so cool i was so fast flying around like in a minecraft elytra course#i love vivid dreams like that that feel real and like after the movie was finished i posted on tumblr about how much i loved this new#netflix animated movie and my mutuals were there and also thought it was cool#anyway it was fun i love flying in my dreams i feel so free.. unlike Dewey oopsie sorry buddy#deweyeyeyeye ur so silly i love him SO MUCH#ok im gonna shut up now#wyrms says stuff#fever#fever dream#if i tagged this as irl whump would i also have to tag it as minor whump hahahhaha#idk i wanna play roblox with my mutuals again#mutuals if ur reading this u can literally bother me to play video games all day every day because the answer will always#be an enthusiastic YESS!!!!#i should watch nightmare time today#no dumbass i should REST dumbass ehehheehe#i’m being so annoying again sorry everyone 😼😼😼😼#dreams#wyrms lore
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Chapter 55 of Tower of Dawn😭
#HOW DOES SHE ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME AT SOME POINT IN THE LAST QUARTER (12 CHAPTERS)#literally always at the point of weeping giggling gasping or screaming like every other chapter every time I finish one of SJMs books#my soul#fangirl problems#all the feels#Tower of Dawn#severely underrated book that though it makes sense timeline wise for EoS tandem it honestly reminds me more of HoF#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Sartaq#I love them all so much#okay yall what are the ship names#also the lil Rowaelin moments#and I was right about Lys#and finally they gave notice to everybody on the Maeve thing so word can get around#but oh my word YOUR TELLING ME THATS WHO AELINS WITH OH HELL NOOOOOOO#and soon their gonna learn that and it’s gonna be EoS ending all over again#honestly dying to know what happens but dreading the end of another fantastic story#Chapter 55#SJM#TOG series#KoA I am not ready but I’m almost there#first read#currently reading#reading reacts#no spoilers please#okay time to go read the last 10 chapters#*sobbing* it’s so beautiful#screaming in Wyvern or should I say Ruk
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I LOVE MY WIFE!!!
#panette highkey the funnest character in this game#i am in love with her#i’d try soloing with her if she didnt join all the way in like. chapter 13#…then again. laslow joins in cq 12 and i managed with him… so maybe….#fire emblem#ann gets engaged
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14% of the way through....
#ok i can do like half an hour each day and then i'll finish on the weekend. good pace. we can do this#hopefully tomorrow i can do some reading at work. LMAO.#honestly my bottleneck (aside from my own focus/free time) is the rate at which people upload the main story recordings to youtube#youtube channel polar artem u are my hero. i love you. i hope you have a good day 366x this year#tot liveblog#wow i should translate something again... maybe i've improved (wishful thinking)#but it really has been a while and there are some things i said i would translate that i never did. lol#probably not a card tho (mainly since i haven't been reading the recent cards). maybe an extra thing like interview. i'll probably look for#some fan analyses since we got a main story chapter. idk tho i kinda wanna chew over word choice again. then again i get to be a bit looser#when translating discussion posts....#EDIT 2/12: post is still happening just. it takes so much focus to read two things at the same time aldsjfklsjlaskej#so much more tempting to read other VNs where i'm like. just reading normally. and not also trying to keep track of a plot spanning mult ye#years while simultaneously trying to consider the implications for characterization in the context of 2.5 years' worth of interaction#it's fine my relationship with tot content is totally normal and healthy and i absolutely do this voluntarily. for Fun#ok but DEF it'll be up by next weekend promise (bc i need to distract myself before dessert de otomate)
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the male drews are so tiktok thirst trap icky stop this madness….
not the girls tho y’all stay safe out there ✊🥰
#roommates with benefits#choices#also i cannot believe the audacity of this book title LMAO what happened to being classy 😭😭#i know they had some questionable romance book but this title is straight out of wattpad 😭😭😭#i’ve only read the first two chapters and well 😄 it’s something that’s for sure#but f!drew is hot! so who am i to complain ✊#and there’s a new mc sprite as well that’s actually drop dead gorgeous#but she’s missing that goofy choices mc look a little#pretty but at the cost of losing that quirky choices mc spirit 💀#which is a good thing but also a bad thing bc you knowww every mc is quirky-coded in choices but in rwb she doesn’t quite fit anymore#and maybe i miss it but also not rlly bc she’s so pretty i’m falling in love with my own mc like#hope this makes sense#she just does not have that goofy open heart mc shocked face or the funny bloodbound mc grin 😭#not complaining tho i love her 🥰#in terms of the book tho it’s like bad but in a i-am-12-again-reading-terrible-books-on-wattpad-that-i-cannot-stop-reading#peak of fiction personally so bad so horrible so cringey that i just eat right up!#this is a lot of thoughts in the tags but i have so many thoughts i keep going#okay last thing i hope they don’t make mc get so influenced that she’s flunking classes and stuff 😭😭#ik it’s the goody teachers pet x rebellious sex god trope but please 😭😭 have SOME class#playchoices
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why so few...
Reblog and put your rare pair in the tags/comments! I want to see the depths people will go to create, for the most random two characters in the most obscure media.
#reblog#euden/mym#12 results#and about 7 of them are lemons#dragalia lost#i just want to read more about these 2#Euden learning about how to love himself and others again after all he went through on his journey#and Mym learning what how to love someone and what it actually means to be in love with someone after spending hundreds of years alone#THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR THEM BUT NOBODY DOES ANYTHING WITH IT#god i wish i was motivated to write fanfics...#i did one once#never updated past the first chapter#maybe one day i will find the proper motivation to do it again#my ramblings
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Two fic ideas in the past few days? That's unfair,,, *opens a new WIP*
#re read the. the may and dr bald fic by f.aus.layer. y'know. that one.#I'm unsatisfied with how i dealt with dr bald and UG meeting (back when i didnt fully get the man. two mental breakdowns later and i think#i think i have him down somewhat. better than past me at least. hah. growth.)#it's just the general theme I've got down but i wanna write it. like i think it'd be a really cool (dr bald suffering compilation)#it'd be in second person. because i think that would fuck hard.#like maybe. 5 chapters most. vignettes.#again. dr bald suffering compilation lol#hey what if i was a 12 year old girl and you had trauma regarding a young girl dying on your table. wouldn't that be funny.#also what if i hated you and love you with such intensity. that i kept killing you and comforting you. lol.#ah rambling#silly doctor man
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(12/30/24) — again &. again masterlist
by the bird and the bee
ft. platonic soft! yandere batfam! x gn! neglected reader
✮ MAIN MASTERLIST ✮
— TRIGGER WARNINGS !
- lowercase writing, emotional neglect, allusions to sexual assault, prostitution & physical abuse, kidnapping, alcohol abuse, drugging, themes of depression, dissociation, vague traumatic events, mentions of murder, amnesia, other warnings would be added soon.
— SYNOPSIS !
who would have thought that living with your rich, billionaire father and endless supply of sisters and brothers would actually end up being the worst thirteen and a half year of your life?
when your mother was taken away from you at the ripe age of five, you were forced to live at the solemn wayne manor with nobody to accompany you but the butler, alfred pennyworth.
there, you learn that giving up was better than trying to gain the attention of your ever-growing family. so you left, and never once tried to look back at the decades of neglect they left you with.
but when alfred, your kind caretaker, had started leaving clues of your sudden disappearance; that's when they all take notice and then on starts the ultimate race of chasing freedom, and escaping what once was your gilded cage.
little did you know your mother's dark past manifests itself at the worst of times.
— CHAPTERS ! ; 48k+ words
00. — oh, please leave me be.
01. — because you only notice me once i'm out the door.
02. — and you don't even remember my face?
03. — i need a drink, away from everyone.
04. — mors tua, vita mea / your death, my life.
05 : 01. — a halo in the pit of darkness.
05 : 02. — to be his child is all i want.
— DRABBLES ! ; #series: again &. again
dick grayson calling you his baby bird
why now? (yan! damian wayne)
brutus (villain au concept)
brutus: out for blood
what if you were never neglected?
just a taste (yan! conner kent - suggestive)
laughter is the best medicine (yan! dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, damian wayne)
to you, my greatest passion (non-neglected au-verse)
brutus: both arms cradle you now
bruce finding your graduation picture
how to be a heartbreaker! (yandere harem)
mea culpa (mini chapter)
conflicting comfort scene with jason todd
dialogue spoilers related to above drabble
more about jason todd and hurt/comfort
dick and his baby blue eyes
time travel au concept
sharing the same features with damian
brutus: the only fucked up thing in this world is you
cause you're takin' it like a champ, sweetheart! (yan! conner kent - suggestive)
brutus: just a burning memory (yan! conner kent)
young, just us?! (yan! young justice au)
that's my type! (yan! john constantine)
— ASKS ! ; #series: again &. again
dick's spiral into yandere-ism
leaving gotham, resenting alfred, changing last names
your mysterious identity &. conner being your love interest
dick seeing you as a child & damian's need to be your favorite
damian and his cool, matching bracelets
does dick close the door on you? nah, he doesn't even know you were behind the door
wally west as your love interest
you care now?
conner as your angry, protective bf
jason trying his damn best to be a brother to you
calling bruce by his last name only
calling alfred your dad ft. jealous bruce
how are damian and jason obsessed towards you
their nicknames for you
how bruce and damian would try to bond with you
will you still go to college after being kidnapped?
will the series have a happy ending?
why does damian hurt you? and why do you justify his actions?
the family stalks you even in-game
— INCORRECT QUOTES ! ; #a&a: incorrect quotes
yan! villains kidnapping you
hostage situation
how to become a target to the wayne family
dick and you miscommunication trope in a nutshell
— FANART ! ; #a&a: fanart
happy birthday by @luffyadolover
diary by @luffyadolover
another reason they're broke &. finished art by @oh-nowo-i-got-uwu
a take on the reader's appearance by @luffyadolover
reader trying to study ft. the batfam's endless calls &. finished art by @ghostdoodlen
reader finding bruce and damian watching a movie by @luffyadolover
again &. again mv by @luffyadolover
reader and their playlist by @luffyadolover
a comic panel by @lucioleestolie
conner and reader flying through the skies by @ghostdoodlen
when all of a sudden, i hear this agitating noise by @punpunsonny
villain au reader by @lazyemmy
a&a oc: emile by @questionthegrapevine
graduation pic, conner comfort, and mirrors by @ghostdoodlen
neglected &. non-neglected reader by @lazyemmy
jason calling you his angel by @ghostdoodlen
alfred gives you a christmas gift by @luffyadolover
— TAGLIST ! ; taglist is under construction!
@.lilyalone, @.secretomelettetroops, @.earlqurl, @.simpingfor-wakasa, @.amber-content, @.ruiroku, @.okaybutfullhomo, @.trasshy-artist, @.obsessedwithromance, @.jjsmeowthie, @.fairy-lenaa, @.ilovvmyhusband, @.6uuyuuhgy, @.plsfckmedxddy, @.lavender-moony, @.sweetheart-era, @.chemicalsandghosts, @.darling006, @.starringyau, @.samanthahanes, @.rosecentury, @.jaythes1mp, @.pi1nkl0ver, @.i-thirsty-boy, @.sharks-are-cool-l, @.silverklaus, @.samanthathanes, @.traumaramacenter, @.maddimoon, @.anxrq, @.thedarknesslord, @.h0rr0r-10ver-69, @.lazy-idate, @.cupids-pretty-boy, @.alishii, @.mel-star636, @.sitepathos, @.freakyotaku059-blog, @.dirtydiavolo, @.sunbleachedantlers, @.24hrsoflanii, @.ceramic-raven, @.une-lueur-dans-la-nuit, @.tdickensstuff4, @.thickerthanthieves, @.arlandvery, @.distressed-lezbo, @.bunbunboysworld, @.bellethesleepypotato, @.naina326, @.nebuluma, @.alliwantisadonut, @.alishii, @.kusakiguzen, @.sirenetheblogger, @.emmbny, @.ryukyuin, @.solkara, @.starsdotalk
#🧁... yael's misc.#a&a: masterlist#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere damian wayne#yandere alfred pennyworth#yandere conner kent#yandere wally west#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#platonic yandere#soft yandere
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one ┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
You lied.
You didn’t take the tests the next day.
Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.
Once you knew, you knew.
There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.
No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found.
Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.
What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.
He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.
You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.
You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to.
But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.
He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you.
And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.
You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had.
Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?
You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.
It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.
But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.
You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.
One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything.
What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.
You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.
Complications. Risks. Dangers.
You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.
Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five.
You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amount of parties. Too many drinks some nights.
You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.
For a second there, you thought you might pass out.
You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.
Maybe you should’ve just taken one.
Rip off the bandaid.
The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.
But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.
You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”
“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”
It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.
You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.
“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”
The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.
You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”
Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.
You earned to be her.
Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.
Rafe Cameron.
Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.
Fuck him.
If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.
You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.
If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.
Not over this. Not over you.
You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room.
You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.
Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.
This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.
But Rafe, used to be there with you.
Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.
You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.
That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.
You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.
This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.
You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?
You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.
Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.
If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.
You were going to do this without him.
You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.
Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it.
You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.
It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.
How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.
“What?”
“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”
You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”
“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”
“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”
“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”
“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”
There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.
He never really got it.
“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”
“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”
“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”
“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”
Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”
You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment.
“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."
“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”
You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”
“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”
It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.
You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.
“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”
Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”
Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.
Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.
You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips.
“Are you even listening?”
“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”
He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”
“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”
Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.
“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”
“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”
“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”
“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”
You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now.
The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.
It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.
The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white.
Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.
That word made you want to gag.
You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed. You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.
You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.
Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?
When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.
A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.
Normally you did. But this year you were numb.
The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.
You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.
The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.
You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.
Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard.
You hadn’t even realized it was in there.
One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.
What the fuck were you doing?
You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.
You were going to do it.
Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.
What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.
You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala?
You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.
What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?
You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.
Hated not knowing.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?
You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with.
You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.
Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.
And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.
You peeked back at it. Still nothing.
No line. No answer.
It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.
Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.
You opened your eyes.
There it was.
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dead boy detectives reading list
with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut 👻☠️🔎
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⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)
this is their first appearance!
🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)
1. the children's crusade #1
(2. black orchid annual #1
3. animal man annual #1
4. swamp thing annual #7
5. doom patrol annual #2
6. arcana annual #1)
7. the children's crusade #2
alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter
!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.
❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)
this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19
🐦⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)
i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.
*
(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)
☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)
this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style
👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)
these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.
🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)
this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023
🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)
the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love
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and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!
i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer
have fun reading! 👻
#dead boy detectives#the sandman#the sandman universe#comics#reading list#edwin paine#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#painland#paynland#i really hope i didnt mess up while making this post fjdkfkjdkf
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