#I’m so ill about her

[junos-junk-drawer]

🦷💊• Anya from Mouthwashing……

Guys this game makes me so ill im so normal about it all the characters…

Lyrics from ‘Claw Machine’ by Sloppy Jane + Phoebe Bridgers

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[painted-kneecaps]

In an alternate universe, Powder gets caught and left behind when Jayce’s lab explodes. Realizing that she will likely be shipped off to some dismal prison or orphanage, Jayce argues that keeping her around will lure back the real culprits of the attack- she’s just a child, after all, and nobody was really harmed- besides, somebody has to keep an eye on her, and they were his crystals. What’s the harm in letting her tag along?

In an alternate universe, Viktor notices her genius and takes her under his wing, consults her on his experiments and encourages her to undertake her own. She becomes an expected presence in their lab, tinkering away at her own projects and offering a fresh perspective when Jayce and Viktor get stuck.

In an alternate universe, they notice her despair and betrayal when her sister doesn’t come back for her. They notice when she breaks down, her grief and rage, the internal violence her mind wreaks on her, and they search for a cure. They get her help and medicine, and if need be, they talk her through her delusions with cool, scientific detachment, explaining what is going on in her brain until it doesn’t scare her anymore. If, in the process of helping her, they both begin to reconcile with their own self destructive tendencies- well, that’s just a convenient side effect.

In an alternate universe, she is understood and listened to and valued, and she is not a weapon or a tool or a jinx. She is respected for her brilliance, and her illness is acknowledged and not feared, and her genius is put toward progress and not violence. She never quite fits outside the lab- she is a Zaunite, after all, and she clings to that identity with teeth and claws- and though Jayce never quite understands, Viktor always defends her to him.

In an alternate universe, she builds Viktor braces and prosthetics and mobility aids as his condition declines, new and improved with every model. They tweak the designs together, and their witty banter as they work staves off the threat of impending mortality, just for a while. Hextech products begin to sport animal motifs, a phenomenon that neither Jayce nor Viktor feel the need to explain. Their lab is covered in graffiti, which they both complain about, but never actually discourage.

In an alternate universe, Vi finds her sister, and she is eccentric, but not broken. She is supported and cared for and hailed as the protege of the two most brilliant scientists alive. She is angry and confused and betrayed, yes- but she is not alone, and she is not afraid.

And they can work with that.

[rhymeswithumbrella]

you know what really pisses me off? so many people acting like he is the worst person out there and no one will miss him. A LOT of people are grieving now and missing him including people that these people supposedly follow and care about. liam was not the supervillain people wanted him to be. he was messed up and did messed up things likely because of what happened to him. this conversation deserves so much more nuance than people are giving it. and maybe it’s too early to have this conversation now but it’s helping me process and grieve so i’m really writing this for me. people are complex and doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person or someone worthy of death without being given the chance to make things right. and another thing, it is SO hypocritical to make fun of him and look down on him like he’s the ultimate Bad Guy meanwhile i bet every single person you have ever admired in the spotlight has likely also done bad things or at least things you wouldn’t be proud of. fame is an illness and it can cause people to harm others because they were hurt themselves. human beings are a culmination of everything that they’ve been through and everything they’ve done. he is not only the bad things he’s done and it’s okay and normal to grieve him as a whole person, because he was one.

[darlingod]

Its not just the fact Cardan hints to Jude about Locke & Taryn. It’s the fact that in almost every single conversation Cardan has with Jude, he hints at it. Even in their first interaction after he’s found out. I swear to god.

[ssruis]

Hello welcome to yet another post that was 1) originally meant to be a short thing but it rapidly got out of hand 2) caters to me specifically 3) is all over the place because I kept finding more things I wanted to talk about

The way rui approaches emotions is so fascinating to me bc like. He approaches everything with a very rational/logical thought process instead of an emotional one and he tends to either ignore his emotions or view them as an obstacle/hinderance.

(From his gleaming stars card story)

If he acknowledges that he’s upset or unhappy he tends to just go “oh well. What can you do.” & then berates himself for not wanting to be unhappy. I feel like a lot of that can be explained by his childhood alienation from his peers.

In RMD his reaction to his classmates refusing to take part in his play once he explained the tree jump stunt & them calling him weird is to blame himself:

Little Nene: Rui, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen?

Little Rui: Nene… No. That’s not it. I pushed my show onto everyone and bothered them.

(From RMD - TL by Arven Oven)

Which is pretty telling. To Rui, the issue is that he asked for too much, that he as a person is something that must be tolerated by his peers.

But ultimately he still has faith that he’ll find his people.

Little Rui: …That’s right. People like you, Nene, who would say that they like my shows, surely exist out there. I want to make my own shows. But as of now - I think it might be a little hard.

(RMD)

And he *did* keep trying to find people who would accept him for a while - Wonder Halloween shows that he continued to try to reach out even after the stuff that happened in RMD, but eventually anyone he got a little close to would end up leaving & reinforcing his idea that he was too different from others to form relationships.

(From Wonder Halloween)

I’ve seen some people say him giving up on forming relationships was due to the events shown in RMD, but I think it was more of a result of him experiencing the same rejection over and over again. The definition of insanity is trying over and over again when the result never changes, and despite what his peers may think, Rui is not insane. I think he gradually lost faith in his parents assurance that he would find people who accepted him - he begins pushing Nene, the only person who hasn’t left him yet, away.

Middle School Rui: I’m working on a solo project… but I haven’t found anyone else like you that’s willing to help.

Middle School Nene: oh, I see…

Middle School Nene: then would you like to join the troupe I’m in…?

Middle School Nene: I mean, uh…

Middle School Rui: hehe. It’s nice of you to invite me, but there’s no need to pity me. I’m doing ok on my own, and it’s for the best anyway.

(From Wonder Halloween)

Why he pushed Nene away is sort of left up to interpretation - To protect her from himself? To leave her before she left like everyone else? - but I think the assumption that her invitation is out of pity show that at least part of his decision to push her away was out of the belief that she, like everyone else, was simply tolerating him. If he assumes everyone hates him/is scared of him right off the bat, he can avoid getting his hopes up and being crushed when he’s inevitably abandoned. It’s not unhealthy or detrimental to forming relationships he’s just recognizing a pattern and using it to predict the behavior of others (blatantly wrong).

Zombie Plushies: We can tell you’re just pretending to be friends! Deep down, you’re probably scared and disgusted by us too!

(…)

Zombie Plushies: We’ll never fit in with them anyway…

Rui: …! (Never fit in with them, huh…)

(…)

Rui: When I look at them… I remember how things used to be.

(WXS world link, TL by Haruka’s penguin)

He rationalized his loneliness with “I’m just incompatible with other people” which

1) ow.

2) if he’s incompatible with other people, there’s no reason to get his hopes up because he’ll never find people he fits in with

3) if nothing is ever going to get better, he should be content with being alone. There’s no reason to be sad over a fact of life. It is what it is.

4) being sad over this is inconvenient, unhelpful, and a distraction from following his dreams (on his own)

5) inflicting himself onto others is a selfish desire and he should just keep to himself. “It’s for the best, anyway.”

6) he’s perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need anyone for his shows, and he doesn’t need friends.

By the time the WXS main story takes place, he’s already fully convinced himself that he’s better off alone, and that Actually It’s Super Beneficial For Him & His Shows And He’s Fine Like This.

Middle School Rui: Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.

Middle School Mizuki: huh?

Middle School Rui: In fact, it has had certain benefits for me. It’s given me plenty of time to see plays and to think over ideas for shows, for example.

(Kamikou festival)

Rui: hehe. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing a show together.

Rui: you see, I like to work alone and with absolute freedom to stage any show I want.

Rui: as long as my shows fill my audience’s hearts with joy, I’m perfectly satisfied.

(WXS main story) (“I’m perfectly satisfied” me when I lie)

I feel like it’s overlooked that the only reason rui joined wxs was to get nene in the group. I’m probably going to talk about his continued pushing of Tsukasa’s limits/suggesting insane stunts and over emphasizing how dangerous they are at a later date - and how that was (imo) an attempt to find the point where Tsukasa would hate and leave him too -

(surely this is too good to be true, Tsukasa/wxs will be like all the others -> wait he’s not calling me a freak and leaving ok I guess I’ll go full throttle on the insane shit surely at some point he’ll get tired of me -> he got injured because of me and he’s still here?? what the fuck???? Well now I care about him & this group so I need to pull back I’m not going to get a second chance)

(Wonder Halloween)

- but I would like to briefly mention that Rui literally suggests risking Tsukasa’s life right off the bat & when Tsukasa is like “?? I don’t want to die???” Rui just goes “alright I’m out of the group I guess bye. have fun nene!”

Rui: Don't worry, the device can be securely attached to the stage in a way that will keep the audience perfectly safe. Please make sure you don't touch it or you'll die.

Tsukasa: what about keeping ME safe?!

(…)

Tsukasa: I’m not going to risk my life on-stage!

Rui: but you said you’d perform any role I gave you to, quote, 12000%, unquote!

Rui: I'm afraid that I have no choice but to step down as a stage director. Nene, good luck working with these people.

(Wxs main story)

Unfortunately humans are a social species & emotions don’t follow (faulty) logic so rui *was* unhappy on his own and he *did* want to have friends. Which I’m sure he continued to call himself selfish/greedy for feeling. Rationalizing all of this was a way he could accept/make peace with being miserable (because it must be this way, because this is how it will always be).

Rui: I was the same a long time ago… I gave up on fitting in with anyone.

(…)

Rui: If they don’t understand me, that just can’t be helped, if they disagree with the way I think, that just can’t be helped… I would think like that.

Rin: Rui-kun…

Rui: - in reality, I really did want to put on a show with someone else. But people didn’t understand the shows I was making. On a subconscious level, I convinced myself it wasn’t going to work out and gave up on the idea.

(WXS world link)

(Wxs Journey to bloom animation)

This added scene from the main story animation adds to this - why he leaves WXS did have to do with Tsukasa yelling at Nene, but the reason he doesn’t come back after Nene forgives Tsukasa is because Tsukasa’s self centered attitude is something that antithetical to a belief that Rui thought he’d given up on a long time ago: great shows *can’t* be made alone, no matter how many times you insist that you don’t need anyone else. As much as he denied it, Rui *did* still want to connect with people and be accepted - not just for the purpose of making shows, but to have a place where he belonged. For the first time in years Rui got his hopes up, started believing in what his parents told him, and Tsukasa proved to him that he never should have done so in the first place. Unlike the other times, though, Rui is the one to walk away first. & then tsukasa/wxs do the whole “true feelings” show etc etc we know how the main story ends.

That being said, I think that Rui still subconsciously believed WXS would grow to hate him and leave because he would finally be Too Much. Wonder Halloween showed him that this wasn’t true (Which is why it’s so important that the zombie plushies in the world link performed potato ghost to connect to the other plushies - it’s the show that was performed when Rui fully realized that wxs was not going to abandon him.) but I feel like that only cemented the fact that wxs would keep performing alongside him, not that they were his friends.

Rui also very clearly did not process or evaluate how his childhood impacted him.

Nene: When you talked about the old days, you seemed happy.

Rui: fufu. I don’t mind it anymore because it was so long ago.

(His RMD card story - TL by Rubilia Heartfilia) (me when I lie part two)

After so long by himself, with shows as the only thing he had, I think that having a connection to people *outside* of shows was completely unfathomable to Rui.

Which is why he’s kind of incapable of realizing why the idea of leaving wxs hurts him so much,

(Curtain call)

why he doesn’t realize why he starts holding back in wonder Halloween or why he holds back on the cheer squad,

(Cheer squad event)

And why he’s surprised that wxs cares for him not just as a director, but as a friend.

(Festival bathed in twilight)

I make fun of him for taking a year to finally be like “yeah tsukasa-kun and I are friends” but I think it’s pretty reasonable taking his trust/abandonment issues into account. Accepting Tsukasa’s offer to join wxs (twice) changed his life drastically - he realizes that he can connect to others outside of shows, that it’s possible for him to form relationships with people outside of wxs. Rui just needed to make the choice to accept the outreached hands - not changing the parts of himself that people previously deemed too weird or strange (not that he was ever going to do that anyways) but changing his attitude of “it’s just impossible for me to be accepted.”

Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.

Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.

Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others

Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.

(…)

Tsukasa: but… it’s not only just thanks to me, y’know?

Rui: eh?

Tsukasa: think about it. No matter how many chances I gave you, if you had refused to change, you would never have done so, right?

(Pandemonium, TL by Tsukasa’s #3 fan)

This is also why he tends to berate himself for having the very normal desire to hold on to wxs. He’s never had something like this before, where he has people who accept and love him as he is. He’s never wanted to keep something as badly as this. He’s asking too much of them, he’s imposing like he did with his classmates in RMD, he should let them leave. It’s the mature thing to do. He spent so long on his own, he should be fine going back to that, isn’t it selfish and greedy to want more?

(Curtain call)

(Talking abt wanting to keep doing shows w wxs and his actions in OHE) Rui: Now that I think about it, I’ve been pretty selfish.

(World link)

Rui: (…When the time comes, even I, too, will have to move forward.)

Rui: (…Moving forward, can I do that?)

Rui: (…Geez, I really lack a backbone. When will the time come when I find myself satisfied with the way things are?)

(…)

Rui: (While working to make my dream come true, together with everyone, I will make their dreams come true. A way to do that - let me think of one.)

Rui: (fufu, how greedy of me.)

(Curtain call - TL by Arven Oven & Tsukasa’s #3 Fan) (fuck you ensekai)

I think that, in future events, he’ll (hopefully) come to realize there are more people who will accept him (& get more trust ranks. Please.). I think it’s an impossible ask for him to be completely fine with wxs going their separate ways some day (and the same goes for everyone else in wxs), but I think when the time comes it will at least be bittersweet and with the knowledge that he can find other places to belong & that his relationships with the rest of wxs is strong enough to withstand not being in the same troupe. Things can’t stay the same forever, but change doesn’t have to be bad. Etc etc.

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

[chaotic-pulsar]

Mara Jade

*sobbing*

Mara Jade…

*incoherent mumbling*

Mara Jade + Luke Skywalker

*crying screaming throwing up*

[dykesevika]

I’ve seen theories that Sevika may die in the next season, and I need to know, if this happens, how will this affect you? And if you riot, I’m totally with you

If she dies I’m going with her <3

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

I made this post before we knew Focalors and Furina were different people, and the fact I still find it accurate to Focalors but not Local Fatui Harbinger Fucker Furina is rly funny to me

It is my humble opinion that Focalors and Arlecchino WOULD argue about who is worse for Furina, tho

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[sizzymissed]

i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.

When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.

And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.

And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.

And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?

[thequeendomeffect-noah]

What is HAPPENING???

[cowchickenbeefpork]

every day without fail I pace and talk to myself like I’m fucking gollum thinking about how much the Isabella arc could’ve been a amazing arc where Edward goes through a scenario deeply similar to what he did to Kristen if given the right buildup (aka making him slowly get to the mental state where he would date a girl who looks exactly like his first girlfriend no questions asked)

it’s not just the fact Oswald killed Edward’s lover to get to him just what Ed did to Kristen. It’s also the power dymantic, how this was the first person they truly felt like cared for them deeply, the exception. It’s about how they both have power above that emotional investment (Edward being psychically stronger than Kristen, Oswald having financial power over Edward since he is his boss and Edward also lives under him). It is about how they both decided to keep a part of them after the fallout whether it be Edward with Kristen’s glasses or Oswald with Edward’s frozen body. A perverse trophy. IT IS ABOUT HOW BOTH FALLOUTS WERE TAKEN AS A LESSON ABOUT LOVE TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY DID.

I’m so mad that they fumbled this arc on both sides. I am in deep unspeakable agony as I type this. Honestly their first mistake was writing Isabella to be someone who matched Edward’s freak since they quite literally had that with Oswald. But whatever I don’t care for this mid show

[disneyprincette]

thinkin about the kizuna man…… anyone notice how in her profile pre-timeskip vs present day, her dislikes have changed from “the unemployed” to “being a burden”. and it’s pretty clear that she learned the whole “if you don’t work hard and have a job you’re a leech on society” attitude from her dad, but do you think he started to regret teaching her to think that way, just a bit, when she became disabled? she may have a job and an education, but she still can’t do the same things other people can, still needs more help, more time to recover…

is anyone else insane over tjis

[missus-paint]

mother of mine