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painted-crow · 4 years ago

Note

How would you sort the Homestuck characters?

...all of them? o.o

Well, let's try anyway :p

Sorting Homestuck

The human kids at least are easy enough, especially because they mirror their alpha/beta counterparts a lot.

John and Jane are double Badgers (John has some Lion secondary to him). I don't think anybody's surprised by these. John's MO playing the game is to wander around, take advice from his friends (and sometimes more questionable sources), and do stuff that seems like a good idea at the time. He's also a ridiculously nice person (too nice for his own good, if you ask Dave).

Jane is similar but she's more anxious than John, and she has some less healthy habits. We don't get as many active decisions from the alpha kids because their game is so messed up, unfortunately, and they're also under more stress but don't have much they can do about it. Still, it's not a stretch to Sort Jane as a double Badger.

Rose and Roxy are double Birds (though Rose has a LOT of Snake primary to her). Rose is pretty philosophical, but Roxy is the really obvious Claw primary here; her "should we even be playing this game" debate is solid evidence of that. Both of them have loud secondaries. Rose writes a game guide, then starts breaking stuff to figure out how it works, and she collects weird wizard tools and an entire entourage of consorts. Roxy has all kinds of lab equipment she uses on the regular.

The Strider boys are double Snakes. Both of them have very active classes and tend to roll with the game's weirdness. They prioritize themselves, they're protective of their friends, and they both seem to like bizarrely complicated plans--but having to throw out a plan (or break/fix a sword) doesn't derail them.

Jade and Jake are double Lions. I'm having a hard time thinking of concrete examples, but they are--they just vibe and do stuff. Jade tinkers with gadgetry, but her success is (according to the narrator) mostly due to good intuition. Jake likes to think he has battle instincts lol. That poor fairy bull.

But I've talked about the human kids before.

Let's try to Sort the trolls.

Karkat: probably Badger secondary. A few of the other trolls even admitted he was a good leader. At one point Vriska suggests more of the trolls might have made god tier due to infighting if not for him, lol.

His primary, I actually want to say Bird! Which, I'll point to *any* of his "arguing with past and future selves" episodes as evidence, haha. @wisteria-lodge notes that Bird primaries have a tendency to think of their past selves (from back when they believed things they now disagree with) as almost different people, and Karkat is the epitome of that--he's a Bird with a time-displaced chat client and he can and will flame himself.

Terezi, on the other hand, I would have Sorted as a double Bird, but after chatting with @magpie-of-a-birb recently, I decided she's actually a Lion Bird. She sees herself as an agent of justice, and sometimes she falls into black-and-white thinking. She's also surprised herself with her own conscience (stupid lousy doomed Dave and your stupid lousy complicity in his death...).

Her Bird secondary is loud. The Seer of Mind title just about says it; she uses what she knows about how other people think, and about the timeline, to come up with strategies and plans and courses of action.

Vriska, double Snake. Sorry. You all saw this coming.

Kanaya... hard to read. I think Snake primary? She might be a Lion. I want to say Bird secondary for her, she always seems to know what she's doing, but I wouldn't rule out quiet Lion there either.

I'll run through the others real quick:

Aradia, double Lion (burned primary).

Tavros, double Badger.

Sollux, Snake Bird.

Nepeta, Snake Lion.

Equius, probably an exploded Bird primary, Bird secondary.

Gamzee, uh... double Lion? I think??

Eridan, probably an exploded Lion primary, maybe Lion secondary.

Feferi, I'd Sort her as a Badger primary but she might just be a Snake who considers everyone hers, lol. Courtier Badger secondary, probably.

I think that's all the trolls. I'm not doing the dancestors, lol.

Bonus:

Calliope, Badger Bird.

Caliborn, double Lion (glory hound).

I'm gonna leave off the parents and Bec and the sprites and the carapacians and the Felt/leprechauns and Doc Scratch and the author insert and the wolf thing on the wall and... yeah all those dudes. Homestuck has a lot of characters, this is enough for one post :p

PS: If anyone wants to get into Homestuck, I highly recommend The Unofficial Homestuck Collection, which is a program and asset pack you download. This way, you have the entire comic and side comics--offline--and all the Flash games and animations in their original quality or better. Also, it's got features where you unlock the side content as you progress, and you can increase the font size/switch to OpenDyslexic, and some other cool stuff like that.

#sortinghatchats #meta #paint speaks #asks #homestuck

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autumnblogs · 4 years ago

Text

Day 18: Engineering our own misfortune

https://homestuck.com/story/2939

It never occurred to me until now that being betrayed by Jack Noir, the first person to accept him for who he is in a sense, is probably a signifcant part of the reason why Karkat is so angry. It’s probably ironic that the Blood Player’s relationships all have a tendency to disintegrate. Poor guy.

All but one of Karkat’s coplayers will either die, betray him, abandon him, or break up with him before the adventure is over.

More after the break. CW: This one has some suicide mentions in it.

https://homestuck.com/story/2950

WV and the other Carapacians may have some instinctive level of awareness of the players’ classes and aspects - while their legend is ensconced in Carapacian Lore, WV instantly senses the narrative presence of the Thief of Light.

https://homestuck.com/story/2960

Now here is something interesting. I just picked up on it, even though it has actually been present all throughout - when the Narrative addresses WV, it addresses him with information he almost certainly could not know - in a call and response fashion! While he’s jumping from one thought to another in terms of John’s different correspondents, the way that he phrases his dialogue suggests that he is aware of what the Narrative is addressing him.

https://homestuck.com/story/2962

And by all accounts, what he is viewing here is not the literal material events as they unfold, he’s literally looking at the same panels we are.

https://homestuck.com/story/2974

Vriska’s gloating here has always given me chills. It’s in moments like these that she really shines as not just a bully but an authentic diabolical mastermind who is, at least at this point in the story, utterly indifferent to the lives of other people.

https://homestuck.com/story/2975

Vriska’s external locus of control excuses her of feeling guilty about creating Bec Noir. While she is 100% responsible for it, that doesn’t mean, in her mind, that she should suffer any consequences for it (although she’s perfectly happy to take the credit for creating him, it seems.)

https://homestuck.com/story/2992

I’ve always thought that the Dream Bubbles were an extremely cool plot contrivance - semantically linking memories together with dreams and death is a really cool bit of linking.

https://homestuck.com/story/3008

Just as Jade has had effectively no parent to help her find her way in life, she will now have to suffer a sprite who cannot give her advice either. She remains alone.

https://homestuck.com/story/3010

Bec, to a greater degree than perhaps even the Seers, is directly cognizant of interruptions by Command Prompts.

https://homestuck.com/story/3017

I’m starting to be able to actually pick up the themes of the whole Exile plotline.

It seems, in general, to be a parable on power and authority, with each of the Exiles representing one kind or another. You’ve got WV who aspires to be first among equals, democratically elected, a community leader and organizer.

You’ve got the White Queen, who fits classical tropes related to the Good Monarch, a symbolic authority.

You’ve got the Peregrine Mendicant, whose take on governmental duty is more that of a functionary - her self-concept is as someone who does what is needed.

And then you’ve got the Aimless Renegade, who, as a Mad Max Type wasteland cop, could be read as either a playful parody of eighties and nineties copaganda, or as a criticism of copaganda, or both - government as the State, an enforcer of constructed order.

Of all of them, it’s clear that WV and PM’s takes on power are the most useful. The White King and Queen are quickly slaughtered once Jack arrives, because without their magical mcguffins, they remain little more than walking talking symbols.

AR is an interesting case though, because his defining character moment is that he hesitates to follow his orders, and while it could be argued that everything that ensues is his fault for not being stone cold enough to do what needs to be done, I’d argue that his hesitation is admirable - Jack escapes to live another day, and the Mayor survives. The Mayor’s infectious compassion ultimately saves his own life through the AR’s refusal to let him die by destroying the command stations in Cascade, because AR is not willing to trade lives.

https://homestuck.com/story/3040

I’ve never been entirely clear on whether the Dark Gods should be considered evil or simply incomprehensible, morally uncategorizable - in any case, the unique nature of the Kids’ session seems to preclude an ordinary relationship with them. By all accounts they also seem perfectly happy to help Rose create the Green Sun as well, sowing the seeds that will grow into Lord English, their own murderer.

Whatever they’re up to is extremely unclear, and they mostly seem to be a wildcard. I’ll have to see if any of my Homestuck chums have thoughts about the Horrorterrors. With the exception of the Dream Bubbles and their ability to facilitate interaction between the living and the Dead, talking to the Horrorterrors seems to be at best an exercise in facilitating inevitable misfortune - they seem to be all but completely useless.

I suppose learning how to navigate the furthest ring comes in handy exactly once, since it enables the kids to fly to the Alpha’s universe.

https://homestuck.com/story/3043

Rose’s pessimistic dissatisfaction manifests in two ways during this conversation - the first is her contemplation of self-destruction. Along with her suicide mission, one of the very first things she mentions about Doc Scratch is that he wants to die - which clearly fascinates her. The other thing is that, suspicious of the version of truth that Skaia presents, and lacking an anchor, she is very easily swayed by characters who offer her an alternative truth.

https://homestuck.com/story/3045

It has just occurred to me that while Rose doesn’t do anything directly to harm her co-players the way that Vriska does, the main actual thing that they have in common, that I was having a hard time putting my finger on, is actually another parallel between the two of them and Aradia - by allowing themselves to be manipulated by forces of evil beyond human comprehension - Doc Scratch in particular - Rose and Vriska both make manifest all sorts of misfortune. In Aradia’s case, it’s her continuous manipulation by the voices of the dead.

Both of them create nearly all of their own problems, and while they’re at it, create immense amounts of suffering from other people who happen to be in the vicinity. And, according to the rules of the Alpha Timeline, both of them therefore give their assent to their misfortune. The Alpha Timeline is, of course, the same as the Glub Glub trap - if you refuse to participate, you are destroyed, but participation is horrible.

https://homestuck.com/story/3055

Couple things.

The first and most obvious is;

Monkey see, Monkey do.

We’re starting to see the fallout of Vriska’s attempts to acculturate Tavros - she’s tried to force a square peg into a round hole, and has had no luck. Tavros doesn’t fit her vision of an ideal troll, and he never will; that’s not the kind of person that he is.

The use of the word hero is what’s important here. Notice especially the way that he draws a line from physical fitness and personal worth - the ability to do important things that you want to do has become Tavros’ idea of how to self-actualize. He has internalized Vriska’s toxic ideas.

The other thing is that while Grandpa may not have literally committed suicide, but he is clearly emotionally checked out of life - playing Indiana Jones when he’s away from home, and interacting with fantasy women at his tea party, instead of engaging with his real life granddaughter.

Suicide’s a touchy subject, one which Homestuck touches on. As I’ve already said, I’m not going to touch on the Epilogues or HS^2, both of which also touch on the subject. It’s not a central theme, I don’t think, although either killing themselves or waiting around to die recur multiple times as possibilities in the minds of different characters, particularly the Lalondes and Striders. I’ll have more to say about each individual instance, but in both the insincere threat of suicide Rose uses in her early strife, and here in Act 5, the act of self-destruction is not motivated by despair, but by spite - for Rose, self-destruction would be an act to spite someone else who wants her to exist.

Grandpa Harley’s complete emotional absence from the life of his loved ones might be called a bit of emotional suicide. Checked out of personal reality completely to pursue a life of fantasy (and to facilitate Sburb), Grandpa Harley may as well have been dead from Jade’s perspective, even before he died.

https://homestuck.com/story/3056

The link between being a Hero Coolguy and Romantic (Reproductive) Success is drawn very neatly by Tavros, but because the premise is false, the conclusion is also false.

https://homestuck.com/story/3059

Vriska immediately calls attention to the way Tavros is parroting her behavior because of her influence - without all of the chest-beating and saber-rattling that Vriska does, the skillfully executed showmanship of being aloof and confident, there’s not that much difference between what Tavros tried to pull just now, and what Vriska has always done - even repeating her romantic faux-pas.

https://homestuck.com/story/3078

And we’ll pause here, before I get to another walkaround, which I will do tomorrow.

Not a lot that inspired me to talk in the 150 or so pages I got today. Lots of action in Act 5, but less emotional meat to dig into.

For now, it’s Cam signing off, alive but not alone.

#liveblogging #commentary

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abundantchewtoys · 4 years ago

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HS^2, re: Chapter 15: “Ok So There's This Flower”

Well, it's been a while since we read some, let's see what we've got!

"So There's This Flower" capitalization not withstanding, the lack of punctuation made me think of Roxy. Though I like Blaperile's theory it's Dave spreading the story Kanaya told him, though probably in a very butchered way.

> 376

Welp, Futurama title screen reference, hahah. Quick, find the parallels between all the occupants of the pirate ship & the Planet Express crew! :P

Dave - Fry Roxy - Bender? Jade - Leela

then any sort of parallelskind of breaks down. I guess regular Calliope is Zoidberg. That, or Karkat (crustacean).

> 377

Hah, okay so Roxy is the professor. What's the "good news"?

I'd like if Jade (and Calliope) were now part of the group again, I hope the situation has already improved enough by this point in their timeline.

Is Roxy gathering them because she believes they're nearing their destination and should strategize?

> 378

Pffff, Dave's the only one there. ... Okay, the only one there and paying attention.

Jade's off screen reading up on mushrooms? Did she immediately delve into developing her own quirky passtime for the trip? Or is there some hidden thing about mushrooms and cherubs we don't know about?

In any case, Dave would like some more in-depth info from Jade about what happened but she's too engrossed in whatever that is.

> 380

Hah! If ogling the camera's the only way in which 20-something Dave is shown to have grown some awareness about his state as a fictional character, it's enough!

> 381

20 nautical feet my FOOT. The buthering of the imperical system continues. Everyone, go metric already! :P

> 382

Dave's really only into Tony Hawk games, of course.

Ship etiquette? Is Roxy talking about pronouns, or of just, cleaning up after yourself? ... God, is he(? that Roxy's pronoun in this timeline?) pulling an intervention on Dave's slobbiness?

> 383

Hahahah, I was right! Roxy's pulling the parent card on Dave! And it's "he", right, Dave said it right there.

Pff, Dave tried to make it about fandom shipping.

> 384

Pffffffffffffffffffffff

Hah, they went at it for so long, Roxy came looking and saw the mess Dave had left. That's some Lion King 1 1/2 type perspective switch going on there. :P

> 385

Well that conversation took a turn for the worse. And Dave should realize Dirk wouldn't disapprove, I mean, he tried to set them up together before he left.

Pfff, okay, it wasn't that Roxy necessarily walked into their first kiss. It's just that, the laundry room has become their default make-out spot. Awkwaaaard.

> 387

Hah.

So Dave is trying to be openhearted here, but deflecting just a part of his and Roxy's personality.

So we're on a tangent about Dave's real-life Fruit Ninja habits. Him de-ripe-ing a banana. And the discussion of generational differences in slang. Though, being raised by carapacians, we can excuse Roxy from pronouncing things in a way that is unique to herself. "lole" and "luhmayo" though. :P

> 388

Nice, Harry Potter reference FTW. It's surprising it took that long, with Roxy's fancy for wizards.

But yeah, realtalk. What are they going to do about Dirk, anyway? They can't keep pushing this subject ahead.

> 389

Dave's still struggling with the meta importance here. Whether Dirk's right and if they're in a story, it needs a villain or not.

While Roxy thinks that it doesn't matter if they're fictional or not, if they're just going with the flow. I think she'll ask Dave to consider what Dirk did was at all excusable.

It wasn't. If playing the villain perpetuates the story but brings other people misery, which it has, then Dirk is on the wrong side of the moral fence. And he should know, if he's defeated, the story would still end! Even if it continues with other perspectives, the narrative frame of Homestuck as it was, focusing on the kids, will cease at some point. Nothing to do about that.

> 390

Welp, sorry Roxy, you'll not get that answer just yet. Somewhere on the ship, Karkat's raging.

Would be funny if Roxy accidentally turned his laundry pink.

> 391

Pffff. So Calliope isn't really 100% yet, it seems. They're leaving Karkat meat. As in, Meat Timeline, maybe? :P Though maybe Calliope in this feral state is just imprinting on Karkat?

And of course Karkat feared Calliope was in the vents. He's had a bad experience, even if it was just for a few hours. It's a trauma.

Time for another view on the MSPA reader! Guess they recovered from the mindblowing revelation of Lil' Cal being a vessel to Caliborn's soul?

> 392

Oh, no, it just went straight to Karkat. The boy is reliving the trauma, poor him.

The vent being partially open and a light breeze being felt in the room can't be good for him right now. Even if the opening's hilariously small and Calliope would never fit through it. Unless she can transform into a snake now.

> 393

I STAND CORRECTED.

Oh god. Calliope, no, stop. Guess being creepy isn't something only Lil Cal (and thus Caliborn) was good at.

---> Now a thing in Homestuck^2: Oh, uh, hey there Calliope.

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #reaction #upd8 #dave strider #karkat vantas #roxy lalonde #calliope

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catflowerqueen · 5 years ago

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Well that... certainly was an upd8. Um.

I wasn’t expecting another one this month, so that was cool! But the gigantic swerve into left field at the end there was, uh...

..definitely something, that’s for sure.

-Harry Anderson seems to be channeling his Grandpa/Uncle Jake a little bit there.

-And on that note, I wonder how often the next generation even stops to wonder or think about their complicated family tree. Like, Tavros called John “Uncle John” here, even though—biologically speaking—he’s actually John’s brother, and Harry Anderson’s uncle. And that’s just a weird situation to think about overall. …And that’s not even getting into the technical familial relationship the two of them have with Vrissy, given her adopted parents.

-Aw… Vriska still thinks of John as her friend. That’s sweet. …Or as sweet as it can be, considering that it’s Vriska who’s saying it… Also, her words to Harry Anderson at the end of that little rant… her being annoyed at how “ungrateful” he seems about his parental figures actually makes a lot of sense, considering her own upbringing. As weird as she might find it, and as distant as he may have been (especially now), everyone can definitely agree that he was a way better parent than Spidermom was.

-So Harry Anderson is going with the scissorkind strife specibus. That’s probably a good choice, considering his limited options. And his dialogue afterwards about the vocabulary makes me feel nostalgic for the early days of Homestuck.

-Nice reaction panels from everyone when Vriska just straight up walked out the front door.

-Vriska’s monologue to the reporters was very intense. I like that. And she probably has a point about most people not knowing/remembering who she is—which is definitely among her worst nightmares. So this was probably very cathartic for her.

-…On that note, I wonder if Vrissy inherited any of her mind powers? I would presume so, but I’m not entirely sure whether the psychic abilities and lifespan differences got coded into the new trolls.

-Also, I have to wonder what the carapacians and consorts think of everything that’s happening. No one has really mentioned anything about them, despite the fact that this going on in the carapacian kingdom right now. Do they even care one way or another? …At least their own longevity means they’re probably used to wars going on. Which really isn’t all that great, but it also doesn’t look like anyone is expecting them to fight in this particular one, so I guess at least there’s that?

-Ooh, yikes, Vriska just got sniped… hm… I’m not sure if that could really be counted as heroic, since all she’s really doing is talking right now—she hasn’t even been making too overt of a threat, and I don’t think anything she’s been up to lately could qualify for a “just” death either… I guess we will have to see what happens with that. Assuming it was even a kill shot to begin with.

-Definitely not a kill shot… I’m loving her murderous expression, though!

-Ha ha ha… Vriska got described as a traffic cone. That’s awesome. …And I just realized that the poor aim of the secret police is probably due to her utilizing her luck/light abilities…

-The “cherubic figures” at the fountain makes me wonder which definition of “cherubs” they’re using. Like, are they referring to Calliope and Caliborn’s species? Or the other version? One can never be too careful here, and the hilarity of the description definitely doubles if the reference is for the Cal siblings.

-…I wonder what Roxy is going to say when she returns home to that giant mess on her front lawn…

-Oh!!! It’s great to see John wearing his godtier outfit again! And Vriska running to him with outstretched arms… she’s probably going to slap him, isn’t she?

-Oh, no, she did actually go in for the hug! That’s even better!

-Aw… John is taking more of an interest in his son’s interests. That’s great. He certainly does seem to have more of a grip on interpersonal communications now, even if he still isn’t all that great at it.

-Ha ha ha ha ha… Kanaya looks so awkward being carried like that, but she can’t exactly fly on her own, so she really has no choice in the matter.

-Man, everyone’s expressions are really great, and it’s excellent to see everyone in close proximity and making plans like this.

-Jade having a daughter she apparently didn’t tell John about is surprising, but all these other revelations going on right now are… wow. That’s just… wow. I… really don’t know what to say about any of that. …Other than to marvel at how convoluted that whole situation was, and how everyone involved really should have known better than to keep those complicated secrets like that, even as dismal as their communication skills have been up until recently.

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #upd8 #spoilers

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ bonus 2020-02-01

bladekindeyewear:

Boy that sure is a new HS^2 bonus I should blogread. And there was a commentary on the Patreon for the last proper upd8 too.

I’ll… do it sometime this weekend, not right away. (Had a stomach virus through Monday and Tuesday that’s left me pretty fucked over and still waiting for the aftereffects to flee.)

Alright, taking a crack at both of these now. (Both light on images and quoting, since it’s all Patreon material.)�� So what’s going on here? Are the bonus chapters splitting into separate stories perhaps, following the lecture in one and the PS^2 crew in another? Also, from the replies on the previous:

gaaraofsburbia said: It was very good and I was very happy

Good to know. Time to read, bonus first! *clicks link*

...the title of a book someone’s holding. Bookmarked (with a red flag?). Uh huh. Good start.

> ==>

“A picture book for young parliamentarians.) ...oh wow, it’s Carapacian even. Did the Mayor have anything to do with this book?

--Wait. Waitwaitwait. This isn’t-- the authors wouldn’t go back in time and show us like-- PM and the Mayor trying to start the-- nooo.

> ==>

Oh shit, never mind. This is a book ABOUT the Mayor. Starting from him farming on Skaia and continuing from there with a focus on societal structures presumably. So, sort of like what I just said but not quite as goddamn heartwrenching, most likely.

You know, this WOULD have been a good opportunity for the authors to finally bring some canon awareness to all the rampant Breath and Blood visual-and-textual symbolism around WV and PM’s arcs, giving people some HINT of their potential importance outside some crazy unproven blog post on some crazy wrong person’s blog. But I’m not really convinced Andrew or his new replacements, er... y’know. Care. About letting us know about all that cool shit. Or even dissuading us if we were somehow wrong. Just gonna... let us haaaang in the breeeze there forever, more likely. :T

...this is still what I’m most bitter about regarding the end of Homestuck, as you can obviously tell. Thinking -- still believing -- that we found something beautiful and deliberate he’d done, but refusing to have canon openly acknowledge any of it so that 99% of readers will never have a clue about it and the few of us who caught on -- if right -- are just regarded as nutters, and if wrong, NEVER have what we need to finally disprove and accept that wrongness thanks to his silence, thus continuing to believe wrongly and be regarded as nutters.

So I just keep reading and... vacillating. Vacillating on whether to believe any of this will get brought up in HS^2 canon, or whether to cynically fear they’ll take the worst route: Doing things EXACTLY like Andrew did and dropping only vague hints that keep it an implied-only, unconfirmed mystery forever. Because that’s what made the comic popular! And it’s “safe”. :(

...man, gut issues really bring the pessimist out of you, don’t they. Let’s keep reading. Once upon a time there was a simple farmer...

> ==>

Horrible kings kept fighting and didn’t care about the land, destroying it underneath their war. Right. (Mostly paraphrasing here and from now, mind you.)

> ==>

WV wanted to stop the kings, but the kings had power.

> ==>

That power had to be destroyed too. (Shows the rings.)

> ==>

Hm, the journey that ends up in the rings’ destruction to the desert? Are we going to fill in some context here?

> ==>

--And made friends with curious creatures and powerful people! (Showing the fake Can Town built with Dave and Karkat along the meteor trip.)

Assumedly internalizing all those practice-town lessons, of course.

> ==>

--Oh, cool! So one of the first things WV and PM did upon coming to Earth C to start their founding process was destroy the rings, the temptation of that power, throwing it into the Forge.

EDIT: krixwell said: "I don't know exactly how it reads in the bonus update because I'm not a patron, but WV and PM throwing the rings in the Forge happened before they entered Universe C, and was shown in HS proper (8107-8111, 8123-8126 and at the beginning of [S] Act 7). It was required to light the Forge and send the Genesis Tadpole to Skaia." Ah, file that under more things I forgot about, then.

> ==>

Where once nothing,

> ==>

Earth C was founded/born, etc.

> ==>

Ah okay! So with a backdrop of the Town Hall under construction, we’re getting some context specifically as to how and why the Mayor set up society the way he did on Earth C. Especially the challenging question of who would govern the world and how.

> ==>

Oh shit, text dump! :D

The problem was unfortunately compounded by the fact that when the topic of fair and effective governance is broached, most sparing intellects immediately assume a certain posture. Not one of surrender or admiration, but of abject and interminable boredom.

This fact makes it hard to treat such a fascinating subject with the proper amount of attention and enthusiasm, BUT WE SHALL DO OUR BEST TO UNDERSTAND REGARDLESS.

Alright, loving this.

Also, this’ll undoubtedly put into context just how MUCH the Mayor had to think about how society would work best to have set up -- and how little comparative thought Jane put into the process when just drafting up something United-States-like and familiar. Remember how awful it was the childlike way the Condesce essentially kept trying to recreate her familiar surroundings and rule structure on Earth? It was only natural that her Life-aspected protege would make similar errors, I suppose.

Back to reading this long page... I won’t just quote all the details of this representative system, because that’s up to y’all to pony up for. But I’ll note if there’s anything interesting in it that makes me think. Let’s see...

...Hm! The number of seats each kingdom got in parliament was based on voter turnout... THAT’S a heavy incentive to get out the vote, if your kingdom can literally lose influence if you don’t.

On the happy occasions where the maximum number of seats were allocated in all four quarters, this was known as a "full House".

Oh, fuck you. :)

...oh dear, that was only the beginning of the card slang.

I’m not going to list all of them here. They make sense in context, which is even worse.

Without going into too much detail, consorts all tend to have significantly shorter lifespans than the other citizens of Earth C. Because of this, a large number of House Rules were dedicated to describing exactly what to do if a seat was vacated mid-term due to the death of its occupant.

Not the carapacian kingdom, the consort kingdom. Don’t panic, y’all.

The DELIVERY OF JUSTICE (DoJ) was founded to keep the peace and arbitrate in all legal matters, and its members were the brave soldiers of God in this righteous crusade.

They also took care of the MAIL.

Oooooof course. :)

Unions get their rep, if only for a pun...

Oh, hm. The Mayor’s office is much like a ceremonial-only monarch’s office without serious power. Etc etc...... reading...

So governing Earth C was a complicated affair, and only became more convoluted over time. But the really important thing was that, despite all this complexity, it worked. It really worked. At one point, a whole field of mathematics was developed just to explain why the interim government worked so well, and they ended up proving it categorically. It was theoretically perfect.

Ppfffff

--ah. And then the Mayor has a chill as he looks at the clouds and somehow anticipates something terrible happening to it all.

That’s it for the bonus. I’m guessing the next chapter of this separate bonus story will go over some sort of threat the system endured, while the Mayor was still alive, possibly? Or cut forward to the creators’ arrival and how that fucked a bunch of stuff up? A sort of demonstration on why the gods who create a universe shouldn’t take charge of those living in it or such? Hm.

Alright, if that’s it for the bonus, let’s see what’s available for Patreon commentary... here we go, just the one for the latest mainline upd8 that I knew had come out.

Sketches and Commentary: Chapter 3, How Are Your Feelings

Before starting into this, I want to note that I do have SOME ray of hope for more Awake Jade involvement to shine against my previous rant -- because that OTHER callie-controlled younger Jade body is coming, which I’d forgotten about. As soon as the pursuit crew arrives in-system and THAT Jade finally gets there through whatever black-hole-powered teleportation magic she’s using (with Aradia and Robodave), it’ll be completely safe for OUR Jade to be awake and active at will. Theoretically.

So... y’know, that’s nice. Whenever that will happen.

So onto the commentary, we’re starting with that stupid ship.

(I think I actually said something along the lines of, "this is stupid, so we're using it." I know my Homestuck history. For those interested, the ship is modelled after a schooner, and continues the Homestuck tradition of spaceships that look like regular sea-faring vessels, only with additional stuff bolted on. - Pip)

...Yeah, can’t blame you there.

This is Jake’s “second best” ship. It makes me really nervous to think about what the third-best looks like.

Flying booty shorts, most likely.

...yeah, I did notice that latest upd8 playing with colors in a way the comic rarely even did, it was pretty nice. Glad to see they appreciate it too.

...Yep, Karkat getting owned just for the sake of it, there.

First off, Jade’s outfit. It rules. Alt!Callie may have violently forced her consciousness inside of this innocent girl’s brain, but damn these threads are sweet. She’s managed to keep Jade pretty on brand, while throwing in a couple embellishments of her own. That’s what we call “making it work”.

Yes, you’d better WELL fucking acknowledge what you’re doing by keeping Jade in a miserable isolated state for three years. A G A I N.

Nice bit about the casual showing of Dave’s eyes as evidence that Dave’s recovering through some of his old mental blocks.

Dave and Karkat are wearing each other’s shirts, which is traditionally a very gay thing to do. Even more notably perhaps is the fact that Karkat is wearing crimson without a hint of complaint. Again, I doubt this was an intentional move on his part. Just, sometimes you’re coming out of the shower, it’s chilly, and your boyfriend’s shirt fits. Busting through mental blocks should typically come across as whispers to me, rather than shouts.

--Hm, never considered the latter angle.

Karkat is being pretty mean to Possessed Jade. Which sucks, but this situation is incredibly stressful, and Karkat tends to react to stress by being mean. Treating Jade like an irritant allows him to put some distance between himself and the reality that he may have lost another friend.

Guh. That one stung :(

Initially the panel directions here were “everybody pauses to contemplate Dirk fucking Strider”

Mhmm, and you figured it’d be more unsettling to reverse it and remind us that the Prince is aware of all of this too.

Roxy’s heart-shaped sunglasses have become such a thing in the fandom that I kind of can’t imagine him without them at this point, so we decided to make it settled law.

Mhmm, I figured that was how they played it. One of the ways they’re incorporating fandom involvement.

Sometimes I feel like it should be Xam who does these commentaries, since there’s so much incredible shit going on with the art here that I’m really only equipped to comment on with shit like “oh wow, look at these colors. Green and purple huh. Wild. There’s also some light.”

It’s pretty understandable to have the writers take the lead on most commentary as opposed to the artists... normally.

But then you’d have the weird places where they’d have to work together without necessarily giving away their game. Like, all that WV/PM Breath/Blood visual representation I mentioned.

I still don’t know if they’re gonna give away the game on that eventually -- or if Andrew even gave them enough to go on to properly REPLICATE that sort of thing in this official continuation, even though my mind keeps telling me it’d make all sense to -- but if they are thinking about it, I doubt they’ll first show their hand in the commentary.

I love Kanaya’s new outfit.

I understand that sure, but will she be sticking with this outfit through the action though? Looking like a mourning nun?

Kanaya’s nursery story is, of course, The Little Prince, a French fairytale from the 1940’s. It tells the story, rather appropriately, of a young Prince traveling through space looking for something he believes he has lost.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

I’m not sure why I keep thinking about this quote. Probably some shit that has to do with “themes” or something.

Hinting that once he’s beaten down and likely dying from this stupid exodus plan, at least some part of Dirk may finally realize that any fulfillment and purpose he was looking for with this megalomaniacal nonsense was left behind in the peaceful life he fucking ruined for everyone to do all this. The Heart-blind bastard.

God, Dave is just losing family members left and right, isn’t he? Really makes you think.

Gdi. :(

“Maybe it was naive to think a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society.”

There it is. That’s the whole Epilogue.

And Andrew just had to let us ruin our naivety.

Wow. There really are just a whole lot of feelings in this chapter, aren’t there? It’s very aptly named. And it’s also actually the first part of HS^2 that got drafted; at least the first part that actually made it into the final draft. I wrote it earlier in 2019 when we were still kicking around ideas of what an Epilogue follow-up would actually look like.

Huh. Yeah, I can imagine when writing all this it would make sense to write/use this chapter first, as a knee-jerk reaction.

I do really think Karkat would have been a great president. He would have hated it, but he would have been good at it.

I’m glad the authors are in agreement with everyone else with a brain on this one.

Did you guys know that Karkat still feels immense survivor’s guilt for murderstuck?

Yes. Yes we did.

(Some continued remarks about how Karkat’s self-loathing is like a singularity that draws all blame onto himself in his mind etc.)

Apparently there was a metal gear reference in this second-to-last conversation? Don’t tell me, I don’t care.

Eat the fucking pancakes, dude.

A good place to end the commentary. See y’all when there’s more content!

#Homestuck #hs2 #upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #Homestuck Commentary #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots

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dahniwitchoflight · 6 years ago

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Alrighty, Finished page 14 of Meat so far

I gotta say, Im really not having the same opinion as apparently everyone else on these epilogues

I’m really enjoying them, I think theyre great delves into the characters they are exploring, interesting and makes-a-lot-of-sense directions for each of them to go, i have a few nitpicks here and there, like maybe Jade’s doggyness didn’t need to be quite so emphasized hormonally, but her own natural teenage hormones and they was she pressuring Dave and Karkat to give her an answer so she doesn’t feel like she’s constantly being put on hold and not allowed to have her own solid relationship, not allowed to have someone she can call her significant other until they decided to give her a straight answer yes or no we’ll date you, so she’s forced to get her needs met with flimsier relationships to try and sustain her need to love affection and well hormones yeah

she doesn’t want to do that, she makes it pretty clear she wants to have a solid relationship with the people she loves and to affirm that, but the people she cares about dont want to do that with her, dont either want to commit to her or commit to telling her no its not gonna be that way, just constantly keeping her on hold for whenever they feel like doing things together with her

and the doggyness affecting Jade slightly i dont care for that much anyway, because it was gonna have to come up/be explained in some way one day anyway, and its not like without them she wouldn’t have been having sexual relationships at all

And then Jane being the way she is is, really understandable to be honest. As of right now, she really isn’t a xenophobic practically trump rebuplican everyone has been making her out to be (though she might be in the future who knows? im only on meat 14)

her main Yikes points are:

She has a distrust of specifically alternian society, and doesn’t want trolls to devolve into that if that is “naturally” how theyre supposed to be

(she doesnt know that isnt natural for them, because it was natural for everyone in her friend group who is a troll, Karkat and Kanaya think alternian society is natural troll society too)

Dave and Karkat and Jade even talk about and bring the unpalatable parts of alternian society, like it not unjust to think alternia is unjust

Honestly they just need more interaction with beforan trolls to set that straight, its not a perfect society either mind you but its much more humanly palatable and would at least seem more reasonable to Jane

Jane does also have a few self aware moments, where she tries to self-regulate and tries to readjust whether something was actually problematic or not in the privacy of her own home, in her own head, with nothing to prove to anyone, she doesn’t come to perfect conclusions sure, but shes honestly doing better than most 23 year old white girls raised on pure capitalism (again, im only as far as Meat 14, i know theres 30 something more meat to go and that might change)

And then she makes an offhand comment about why the consorts even have votes anyway like its ridiculous

and guys, be honest, it honestly kind of is. Like i get that they are sentient beings that should have the ability to decide their own fates and thats the just way of viewing it.

But they arent a natural species. theyre game created constructs, with set levels of intelligence, passion and set interests and theres not a lot of variety between different salamanders

Theyre very very advanced AI, with really realistic programming. Theyre even flesh real.

But theyre essentially hordes of samey walking talking plush toys in reality, its not a stretch for Jane to view them the same way, especially because in their session she didnt have any consorts, they were all dead

and you can bring up Roxy, but Roxy straight up says she likes living with the carapacians because theyre familiar and simple and not at all like the troll or human cities

then finally yeah she starts out trying to manipulate Jake sexually, and thats never a good look for her, but they make it pretty clear pretty quick that it becomes genuine for both of them, and Jake was taking an active role, genuinely thinking of her as beautiful and desirable in there, unlike the other lollipop influence time in canon

he just bails due to gay panic in the middle, and jane is realistically embarassed and stressed about opening up that much to someone in a vulnerable situation only to have them leave you in the dust

i think my point is made, there’s honestly tons of really good character stuff in meat and im really enjoying reading it

fingers crossed it kinda stays that way?

(and at the end of the day, i totally get if other people don’t like these character expressions for certain characters, but to me, they all feel extremely “in character”

maybe this is because when reading homestuck i didnt really focus on character all that much? im a pretty pure mechanics and sburb girl? i didnt make headcanons or get attached or got ideas, i kinda just, took what was handed to me when it came to characters? i didnt even really ship all that much, I think Terezi is my only exception, i got attached to Terezi a lot, i have opinions about her character, but thats pretty much it)

#Homestuck #Meat or Candy #Upd8 #Meat 14

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inquisitivewordsmith · 6 years ago

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Messy Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues

The Writing Gods made it so I don’t work tonight. So, here are my messy thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya, and SPOILERS FOR BOTH AFTER THE CUT

* So, overall, I actually liked them. Actually, this is probably the most invested I’ve been in any Homestuck thing in a while. The Snapchats didn’t do much for me, and Hiveswap was cute, but again, it didn’t really grab me. Side note: I should actually finish up episode one. I wanted to do it for 4/13, but I got busy. Maybe I can play a bit tonight?

* I think I probably enjoyed the John segments the most. I don’t want to delve too much into my life, but I could kind of relate to some of the stuff he went through. Depression, regrets, the occasional existential crisis, etc.

* Speaking of that, the Epilogues actually addressed a lot of stuff I was disappointed the ending and everything leading right up to it just kind of handwaved. John’s depression, Terezi’s unhealthy attachment to Vriska, Jake being constantly used and abused (and *gasp* someone actually showing concern for him), Vriska’s lack of development because John ended up saving her, seeing the actual fight from Caliborn’s Masterpiece. Some of it is still not perfect (Tavros), but I was surprised at how a lot of my concerns or doubts actually got addressed. Like I hinted before, this felt vindicating.

* Honestly, Dirk becoming the villain didn’t surprise me that much. It was one of those aspects that was built up in the story proper that we didn’t really see much. And now reading about him fusing with his other selves and the whole Ultimate Self thing, it makes so much sense, too. I do feel for the people that got invested in him, though, particularly when Dave reassures him that he’s not a villain.

* Jane seemed like more of a reach as another villain, but I’ll be honest, I was never really that invested in her character, so I wasn’t that broken up about it. I mean, she was kind of raised as the heiress of an evil corporation, and she never experienced the consequences of such organization the way Dirk and Roxy did, so it sort-of makes sense. Again, my sincere sympathies for those that felt bonded to her.

* Speaking of that, the only bit of “OOC”ness that kinda bugged me was Roxy being so complacent over what Jane was doing. I mean, Dirk had his reasons for doing what he was doing, but Roxy should know exactly what a Crocker empire looks like. I get that was one of John’s worries and it fueled his doubts over whether Roxy was “real” or not, but still. Not a dealbreaker, though.

* Actually, I’m surprisingly cool with where a lot of characters ended up, even if it wasn’t pretty or ideal. I guess it’s kind of a more realistic take on where a lot of the characters would end up. I don’t think it’s inherently dark, “edgy”, or nihilistic, just kind of...there. Not everyone grows up to be great people, and as you grow up, your view of the world can get darker and more cynical. That doesn’t mean you HAVE to be cynical, but I guess a lot of people reacted in shock due to the massive change between regular HS and the Epilogues. Even if HS always had some darker or sexier moments, it was nothing compared to this. I felt the shock myself, but I didn’t feel it was bad or anything.

* Of course, that doesn’t mean I thought the Epilogues were perfect, either. There are some personality changes that I thought were kind of a stretch. Killing off WV and ignoring the other major Carapacians and sprites (besides Davepetasprite) seemed like a needless gesture to make it more “adult”. And as much as I am genuinely invested in the story and where it goes next, I’m also annoyed at the obvious sequel bait. I mean, you could assume it’s an “And the adventure continues..” kind of deal, but I think the letters John left in the Meat timeline were way too specific not to warrant follow-up.

* The one element I genuinely loved was the dialogue, though. A lot of it felt very Homestuck. Dave and Karkat had a lot of great dialogue. So did John and Rose, but they didn’t really get to interact that much.

* Which Epilogue did I enjoy the most? I dunno, I’m kind of leaning more towards Meat, but I’ll have to reread it. There’s a lot of events that I like in both, though. Like, I’m iffy on Davebot and would prefer Dave and Karkat together, but I’m also so damn glad to see Karkat as a rebel leader flourishing as the badass he always was. Also, the hilarity of Meenah co-leading the rebellion. Roxy’s whole plot in Meat was also so interesting, but so was her talk to John near the end of Candy. I also really liked the little we saw of the kids (Harry Anderson, Vriska Lalonde, Tavros Crocker/English). Ugh, it’s hard to choose.

* I’ll have to reread Meat at some point, though, to catch on some stuff I didn’t before. Like, I only just found out that Meat Calliope was drawing (Vriska) and Gamzee’s disgusting make out session, which I didn’t notice back then. Also, the fact that both Johns ended up interacting with the same Terezi. If Terezi had her conversations with Candy John first, then met up with Meat John, it would explain why she grew that attached to him despite not spending much time with him. It was kind of fun reading Meat first and seeing how everything there affected Candy.

* I guess that’s all. There’s tons more I want to talk about (Jade, Rose and Kanaya, Gamzee’s entire role, etc.), but I think I got enough. DM me if you’re curious about my thoughts on those, I guess.

Just a few questions:

* Did anyone else get a post-credit vibe from both postscripts?

* Didn’t Eridan already apologize to Feferi? Or was that from the Game Over timeline? I genuinely don’t remember.

* Where the fuck was Equius this whole time? Even Nepeta got to be the butt of Karkat’s jokes (again).

#iw's thoughts #homestuck #homestuck epilogue #upd8

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blaperile · 6 years ago

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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 5

#Homestuck #The Homestuck Epilogues #Meat #reaction #Dave #Dirk #Jake

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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In this week’s bonus content, Dave places prank orders on the local carapacian message boards.

JAKE: Ms roxys mom!! JAKE: Is it true your girlfriends a vampire? ROSE: Last time I checked. ROSE: To be technical, the Alternian term is "rainbow drinker". ROSE: There are some differences, but if you're going for "attractive young woman who drinks blood", you're on the money. ROSE: Similar to the way "Ms Roxys mom" is on the money, but the term I'm used to is "Rose". JAKE: Its polite for one to wait until such a time as one had been introduced. JAKE: As such im jake. Dont believe weve yet spoken! ROSE: No, not directly, unless we've exchanged witticisms in a memo somewhere. ROSE: I've lost track of those. ROSE: I think they've become independent sentient creatures. ROSE: As such, they must be allowed to flourish on their own, making their own decisions. ROSE: They're grown up now. They can make their own choices. JAKE: Just walkin off all on their lonesome huh? JAKE: Godspeed to you memos. What happens in you stays in you. ROSE: With a tear in my eye, I waved them off to memo university, where they'll learn hard truths about themselves while obtaining an education. JAKE: I hear theyre going into the communications field. Good for them! ROSE: I expect great things of them. ROSE: And plenty of tawdry hijinks. ROSE: But if you've been reading them, you'll notice we already have those. ROSE: Dave tried to order a pizza from a carapace agent. JAKE: He what. JAKE: Can you do that? ROSE: Dersites have their own message boards. Mostly focused on fashion, apparently, but you can post whatever you like. ROSE: I doubt he received his delivery. JAKE: Do carapaces have pizzerias and if so what the heck have i been doing with reheated alchemized food for the past five months? JAKE: I am alas a deprived man. I never knew what i was missing until jane started bussing us the captchas for her home cooking. ROSE: Honestly? I have no idea. ROSE: I did roam Derse for a few months in another timeline, but I didn't have culinary experiences on the mind. ROSE: I can relate, though. ROSE: Most of my background was in microwave dinners. ROSE: Which I look back on with fondness now, after what we've been subsisting on for the last few years. ROSE: Which brings us back to the original topic, more or less. ROSE: Yes, this outfit has vampires now. That's a thing that we have. JAKE: Man. You guys were off having all the fun on the magical hijinks. JAKE: Not that tomb raiding wasnt a blast but you know there were no vampires. ROSE: As many of the more romantic novels would suggest, it's a bit of a burden. ROSE: But an asset if you want to keep your plans after being shot through the abdomen, or so she tells me. JAKE: So does it come with the unholy cravings and aversion to the daylight or is this weird alien vampiracy? ROSE: Actually, she's one of the few of her kind that enjoys the sun. ROSE: As for unholy cravings... ROSE: That depends on your definition. ROSE: *eyebrow waggle* JAKE: Er. JAKE: The blood drinking i meant the blood drinking!! JAKE: Gosh what you two do together is your own private matter. *tugs collar of god tier cape.* ROSE: She's working on that. ROSE: She won't go for your jugular without permission, if that's what you're worried about. JAKE: Good to know. Im not presently in a state of mind where id be interested. ROSE: Not that many people enjoy the subtle pleasures of being lunch. JAKE: I am an open-minded man. JAKE: But i dont think im into vore. ROSE: Based on what I've heard of the clutter in Jade's home, you may have been into just about everything else. ROSE: But then, fetishes don't always cross universes. JAKE: ! JAKE: Hey now no fair going through a mans dirty laundry! JAKE: What if i dragged out your alt-selves smut rags? ROSE: Relax. I've never seen any of it first hand. ROSE: The three who traveled with access to the house, on the other hand... ROSE: Also, I have smut rags? ROSE: Where are they? ROSE: I must see these immediately. ROSE: I wonder if I had the same usernames. JAKE: Funnily enough i hear you were specialized in vampire penny dreadfuls with real gals of the shadows. JAKE: Roxy did some digging and uncovered one of your many many psuedonyms. ROSE: I'll give you a king's ransom to get me copies and make sure my brother never finds out about this. ROSE: It's bad enough he uncovered my fanfiction.net account. JAKE: I will exchange it for your silence on whatever youve heard on alt-mes personal life. JAKE: Especially to dirk! JAKE: Well dirk... dirks one matter but definitely not hal. JAKE: Ill find some way to bribe jade and the rest. ROSE: I'll keep what I know hush hush. ROSE: Jade was evasive, though. ROSE: Mostly because she didn't want anyone to know you were dead. ROSE: I do know you had a passion for washed out blue pictures of women, though. I'll keep mum on that. ROSE: And the potential of illegitimate children scattered around the tri-state area. ROSE: You should always be careful about giving your full name to people over the Internet. Sometimes they do some digging. JAKE: Wait what. JAKE: What?? JAKE: Never mind i dont want to know! JAKE: Dirk wasnt exactly pleased about his alt self but as both men are apparently very very dead their checkered pasts shall lie with them. ROSE: As befits them. ROSE: Jade did use your past behavior to shame me, I'm afraid to say. ROSE: But it was yours, not his, and it was mostly to dissuade me from my familial path of jumping out the relationship plane without a parachute. ROSE: Apparently my genes don't have the monopoly on that kind of extreme evasive technique. JAKE: Oh... JAKE: Oh great. JAKE: Im an example. JAKE: A "cautionary tale" even!! JAKE: Madam let me just briefly say that by our deep emotional conversations that it does in fact take two to tango! JAKE: I wasnt the one who burned that particular bridge anyway. ROSE: Don't worry, we're all cautionary tales at this point. ROSE: That's what mythology is all about. ROSE: Respect your elders. Stay away from taboos. Don't have sex with cows. ROSE: The lessons from Greek mythology alone are practically endless. JAKE: The ol boys sound like they knew how to party. ROSE: That and not much else. JAKE: Did they do anything but go on adventures and cheese off the gods? JAKE: And hoe down like there was no tomorrow? ROSE: There were a lot of curses. ROSE: Our family tree may be just as convoluted, but hopefully we can avoid some of the drama. JAKE: I hope we got that out of our system now without having to see a man about a horse. ROSE: I think we've done a decent job of it. ROSE: I heard all of you had a blowout. ROSE: Two blowouts actually. ROSE: An emotional one and then a physical one. ROSE: We felt the aftershocks of the latter. JAKE: Yeah... JAKE: But we worked it out. JAKE: The physical blowout was the result of teamwork and friendship! JAKE: The emotional one not so much but its ok now! ROSE: That's been the story of our lives so far. JAKE: Just give dirk a hug if you get the chance ok? JAKE: He needs it. ROSE: Would he appreciate it? ROSE: I know my brother is worse than a bad kudzu infestation, but my ectofather seems standoffish. JAKE: No no trust me on this one hes on you he doesnt want to let go. JAKE: He just has a hard time initiating is all. JAKE: But hes down for some awesome platonic embraces almost all the time. ROSE: I see... ROSE: I'm spotting the problem. ROSE: We may be too alike. Someone else may have to lift our arms and gently wrap us around each other. ROSE: Then, once the hug is properly secured, it can become self-sustaining. ROSE: Maybe. JAKE: I will have to be the middle man then. ROSE: You'll broker our accord. ROSE: Anyway, unlike our illustrious Greek forebears, we're not myths written down. We can break our patterns. ROSE: I think we've already begun. ROSE: If I have to learn to initiate physical contact while not three sheets to the wind, maybe that's another step in the right direction. JAKE: I will be the one delicately managing the lamprey tendrils of strider-lalonde limbs. ROSE: Will you now? JAKE: I mean. Why not? ROSE: Far be it from me to impede on awkward sibling hugs. ROSE: I'll look forward to it.

#bonus content #jake english #rose lalonde

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isroselalondebisexual · 7 years ago

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What do you think the following kidswaps would be like: Rose Strider, Dave Lalonde, John Harley, and Jade Egbert

So I don’t actually engage with kidswaps a bunch because I don’t really get where most people are coming from with them, but my understanding of kidswaps is:

You take the canon kid but raise them in their surname’s household.

One of the cool things Hussie did with the guardians was that they fit fairly well into the four parenting styles Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful. Quick psychology overview, there are two categories parents usually get defined by, Involvement (also known as support or warmth) and discipline (or demand). Authoritative parents give high support/involvement/warmth, and moderate discipline, which is sort of the ideal parenting, and that fits Dad Egbert pretty well. Authoritarian is low warmth/support/involvement but high discipline/demand, which Bro Strider fits. Permissive is high warmth, but low discipline, which goes well with Mom Lalonde. Neglectful parents are low warmth low discipline, and are often absent entirely, which our unfortunately dead Grandpa Harley was (and from evidence in Hiveswap, probably would have been even if he was alive). Lucky for us Jade had a radioactive dog to raise her in his stead.

So we’ve got a girl like Rose, raised in an authoritarian household, I’m just gonna go ahead and say Bro Strider because I don’t know how guardians usually work in kidswaps. So Bro “I got possessed by a demonic puppet at age 0 and have lived with that thing in my head all my life” Strider is aggressive, unreliable, attacks his kid on a dime, emotionally distant, and emotionally detached. Rose, who is already pretty embittered by her mother in canon, would become someone utterly infuriated with the world. She’d forgo her passive-aggression games in favor of being outright nasty and rude most of the time I’m talking full 90′s cliche delinquent here. Serious behavioral issues, “who’s going to make me” attitude, seizing control by force wherever she can because control is something that’s stripped from her in her home life. Distrustful of other people’s intentions, probably always sees the worst in others, the kind of person who’s just waiting for the other person to prove her right so she can point at them and say “Ha. I knew you weren’t that nice.” without full awareness that she was the one to push them to snapping at her in the first place. REALLY nasty downward spirals of aggression and more aggression and a paranoid survival-based hair-trigger set of reflexes. Probably useful as a Seer of Time, but not good for her well being by any stretch of the imagination.

Then we’ve got Dave, raised in a permissive household by Mom “I drink to forget that the world is about to end and also because I’m lonely and life is hard” Lalonde. On the upside, he’s got a parent who cares about him now, on the other, he’s still a kid who’s gotta grow up too fast, bc his mom isn’t really a mom. She adores him, of course she does, but she’s drunk off her ass eight days a week so Dave’s sorta gotta be his own adult, which doesn’t end well. He probably gets along with her though, thinks he’s got a cool mom when really she’s just an enabler to pretty much anything he wants to do. I’d imagine a Dave Lalonde would end up sorta spoiled, used to not being told no, raised a rich kid, he’s used to being able to get whatever he wants after a little whining and would likely have a bad reaction to being told “no” when he starts out. A well intentioned dude who wants to be soft, but believes he has to be the “mature” one of the group, just listen to him he’s the smart one here. Probably thinks photographing plants and collecting roadkill in jars makes him “cultured” and “refined” and tries to use that as an excuse for why everyone should listen to him. Part of that is just him being used to having to act the adult in his home life though, so it’s natural for him to think that he’s the mature one, the put together one, the one who’s too old for that sort of childish nonsense. Also likely knows he’s pan/bi before the Game even starts tbeh. His quest as Knight of Light would probably involve him mostly just figuring out how to be a kid again, something he’d initially resent, like Rose resents the girlishness of LOLAR in canon, but would warm to eventually as he comes to terms with the fact that he’s not an adult, he’s allowed to be a kid.

Then John, raised in a “neglectful” household as much as having a dead guardian can really raise him, left with First Guardian Bec and the carapacians of Prospit. He’d probably be really starved for attention. Even more of a class clown than he is in canon, but this time only on a deserted island. Just a boy with his dog, and his dream scape to make friends with strange white chess people, whose customs are very much not human customs but ah well. Depression likely sets in a lot sooner for him without a parent around, and it’s easier for him to lock himself away from the world when no one’s even in his world on that lonely little island. Laying in bed all day watching movies and texting his friends and playing online games are less “interests” as much as they are “the only hobbies he has access to AND energy for”, than in his canon timeline. He’s still a boy overflowing with love for his friends, and would probably maintain his goofy disposition, but he’d be lonely and tired and depressed and it would likely be hard for him to work up the energy for his childhood nonsense that we all love and adore so much from canon. Bec, at least, would get him up, because dogs are high-energy pets and need daily exercise, and John would never ever let his dear sweet Bec get affected negatively by his depressed moods. He’s a boy who wants to be in love with life but it’s really, really hard. His quest as the Heir of Space would be something of a spiritual journey, I think. Becoming one with the universe, coming to terms with the good and the bad, the highs and lows the desirable and the ugly, and, by extension, learn to balance his own inner joy and despair. Once he reaches an understanding with that which is whole, he is better able to handle his own cycle of depression, which never really truly leaves him but he is able to handle it, engage with his loved ones while maintaining his own illness.

Jade, raised in an authoritative household by Dad “I love my child more than my own life” Egbert. Probably gonna be the most well adjusted out of all of them, surprising literally no one. Might be a little less punchy than we see in canon, having had a parent to appropriately model reactions to things like annoyance and anger, and probably has less access to rifles than our girl in canon. Still buff as shit tho, that much hasn’t changed. A witty problem solver, someone who’s had the support needed to really help her flourish, added to her own genius self. Has less need for the dreambot, but is still interested in science and furry/wolfkin stuff and her dad is, of course, only supportive (even if he doesn’t really understand the wolfkin/furry stuff, he supports his child and her interests). Wins ever science fair ever held and Dadbert is just standing with a camera beaming in the background. A go-getter and a high-achiever, sharp-tongued and able to use wit and snark and humor in order to win her battles instead of just out-screaming Karkat, regional winner of the Screamer Award (to be fair, that moment in canon was ICONIC). Isn’t necessarily GOOD at rolling with the punches, but is capable of it when she feels inclined. Her quest as a Witch of Breath would probably be something of a spiritual healer for the rest of her group? Someone who can manipulate the Aspect of freedom and in turn give that to her friends and loved ones. Someone for Dave to joke around with and just be a kid with, someone John can look to for support and help him when life is just too heavy, someone Rose can rail against and see that there is indeed still kindness in this world and yeah Jade isn’t perfect, she’s tempermental and a compulsive liar but she’s good and she’s loving and she wants nothing more than for Rose to feel okay again and Rose does indeed want that and wow JadeRose would actually be exceptionally good in this kind of kidswap wow. And in helping her friends, that would be an act of liberation for Jade too, because sometimes “we” is easier than “me” and sometimes “let’s” is more doable than “I’ll” and “I’ll do this for you” is easier than “I’ll do this for myself.”

Anyway I got super long winded there but here are my Thoughts tell me what you think.

#Rose Lalonde #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Jade Harley #Homestuck #answers #Rose Strider #Dave Lalonde #John Harley #Jade Egbert #John #Dave #Jade #JadeRose #mentioned #long post #beta kids #homestuck meta #analysis

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clonerightsagenda · 7 years ago

Text

These keep getting longer

I think it’s evident at this point that I consider my duty to the prompt filled if the words are mentioned in passing or even implied

tuesjade prompt: art supplies

Jade isn't in the greenhouse or napping in the common room (or even halfway up a tree, which is where you found her last time you went looking) so you check her bedroom, which maybe you should have done first. There she is, flat on her back and flicking pennies at the ceiling. Instead of dropping back down onto her pillow, they settle into orbit around her head like a glittering halo. When you walk in, they fall in a copper shower around her shoulders.

"Jake!” she says from beneath a pile of loose change. “Do you need something?"

"Not need, exactly." You hover at the doorway until she motions for you to come in. "It's more that I'm here to ask you something. You see, Calliope and I have been working on a comic together."

"Oh, is that what you two have been hiding away to work on? We were wondering what you were up to." She sits up and pats the bed. Stray pennies clink and shift. "Can I see it?"

"As a matter of fact, I did bring some samples along." You're a little shy, but if you can't show your fumbling attempts at artwork to your grandmother, who can you trust? Calliope took the reins for most of the first booklet anyway. "Behold!” You hold out the hand-stapled collection of pages with a flourish. “The brand new adventures of our enterprising heroes."

She pages through your first issue, complimenting the art and laughing aloud at your cornier jokes. “My grandpa used to make that exact pun, you know," she says, tapping one speech bubble you were proud of.

"That stroke of genius must be hereditary."

She smiles down at the panel for a moment before turning the page. "Guess so."

“It’s funny,” you say. “Speech bubbles feel so… constrictive, for some reason. I know it’s a function of the medium, but you just can’t fit that many words in. You’d think I’d be used to it, since I’ve read my fair share of the funnies. But I keep thinking, how can they say everything they need to? They have to be so terse. It makes for a lot of revising.”

“You’ll get it with practice,” she promises. “And then we’ll all notice you’re sending us monosyllabic texts!”

When she reaches the end, you clear your throat. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to be a guest artist. We're trying to get as many people as we can for different issues, so it can be a group project." Calliope took a while to sell you on that. Some of your friends are actual artists. Their work will make your scribbles look pitiful. Still, you saw her point in the end. These things are more fun done together. And she's promised to stab people with pencils if they laugh.

"That sounds like a lot of fun. I haven't drawn in..." She shakes her head. "I don't know. A long while! I'm not great at it, but it was a nice way to pass the time."

"Oh grandma, you're being modest. You were always the best at arts and crafts.” Once you’d gotten into some old paints and left a trail of child-sized handprints on the wall. Instead of yelling, your grandmother had handed you a brush, and the two of you had covered the plain surface with a mural of swirling colors and flowers. It was one of the things you missed most when your house exploded. “The things you could do with a magazine collage were sheer magic."

"I don't know about your version of me, but this me is no Picasso." She waves her hands, and a sketchbook appears between them. You’d expect something with glitter or drawings of flowers – Jade is no stranger to the stereotypically “girly” end of accessorizing, even with the deconstructed guts of appliances and a few odds and ends of weaponry stacked up in the corner of her room - but the leather binding is plain and worn. "Here are some things I did before the game."

You open the book to the first page and blink. You know that handwriting. “Is this… mine?”

“Oh, that’s right.” She reaches over you and turns over a big chunk of pages. “This used to be one of my grandfather’s journals. He drew schematics for inventions or sketches of wildlife he’d discovered on his explorations. Sometimes he’d take me out on an “expedition”. He’d take field notes, and I’d imitate him by trying to draw what I saw. That’s how I got started doing art, actually. After he died, I kept it up. Maybe using his book was disrespectful, but…” She shrugs, reaching a page where no more of your – your other self’s – writing is visible. “I always thought he wouldn’t mind.”

The sketchbook feels different in your hands now that you know your alternate self once held it. Heavier. You try to put it out of your mind. You have drawings from the Jade who is right here. Her lines are thick and defined, like a child's crayon drawings. Of course, she would have been a child then. Here's a doodle of a school classroom, with Jade and Bec behind a desk. The other students... They’re not pretty, but one of them has clunky square glasses. Another wears a headband. "Are those John and Rose?"

She laughs. "Yes. They hadn't sent me pictures yet, but I'd seen them in the clouds. I liked hearing about school, even when they complained. They never understood why I pestered them for so many details, but I wanted to imagine myself going too. Maybe they’re right and I wouldn’t have liked it, but I hated having to wait until they came home to tell them something."

Her human faces are clumsy and cartoonish, but she has an eye for rendering detailed objects in perspective. Students like flat paper dolls sit behind three-dimensional desks. "You could be an architect," you say.

"I had a Pictionary modus, so I had to be accurate," she explains. "I was never as good at people. I didn't have anyone to practice with."

You nod, flipping further. "Going off a picture just isn't the same." Here's something different. She's drawn a figure fast asleep. The lines are sketchier and more uncertain, with a realistic softness the other drawings are missing. This time, you’re confident assessing their identity. “You drew John?”

"I tried to get a good look at him while I was dreaming on Prospit," she says. "Then I drew him from memory afterward. I thought about asking him to pose a few times once we were on the battleship, but I couldn't think of a way to ask that wouldn't sound silly."

"So you resorted to candids, did you?" The last few pages of the sketchbook are populated with quick doodles built from lighter lines. The jointed fingers of a carapacian. John with his long windsock hood, gesturing broadly with his hands. Dave, no, it would be Davesprite, hiding a half-smile with one hand. An echidna curled in a tight ball with its tongue poking out. It would set your behind ablaze to say any of them are photorealistic, but you can tell what they're supposed to be.

After those you find renderings of the innards of the battleship, a mess of interlocking pipes and conduits. Now these you'd believe were ripped out of a user's manual. The rest of the pages are blank. "Did they catch on?"

She snatches the sketchbook back. "No, they don't know about it, so don't show them."

"Have you been sketching me at all?" You strike a pose, lifting your chin in the air. "How’s my profile?"

"Stop teasing, I haven't drawn anything in years." The book vanishes, and she puts her hands on her hips. "So you see, I'm not sure I'd be very good at it."

"I'm much worse than you, and I'm one of our lead storyboarders. Calliope insisted she wasn't doing all the visual components. Apparently I'm supposed to "learn" and "grow"." You tug at her elbow until she drops her arms. "Don't you want to learn and grow, Jade? Isn't that what you Space players are all for?"

She puffs out her cheeks. "Fiiiine. I guess I can pick up some colored pencils again."

"There's just one thing..." Oh rats, you hadn't thought of how this would come across. "Our guest artists... policy is that they do the villains. To keep the heroes consistent and all that. Is that ok?" You hurry on. "You could be a werewolf, or a mad professor who gets turned into some creature after exposure to magical radiation. You know, something fun."

She blows her cheeks back out. "Radiation sickness isn't much fun. I might prefer a well-intentioned extremist. Maybe I destroy corporations for harming the environment."

"But..." You hesitate. "Is that a heroic thing to do, when you boil it down? Greater good, and all that. It might be more of an anti-hero occupation, so to speak."

"Not when you're hurting the employees."

"We could convince you to let them go first... No." You shake your head. "It doesn't fit our profile to become anarchists. We'll have to save that for our gritty reboot in a few decades."

"I'll go with something more ethically simple."

"So it's ok with you?"

She pats your hand. "I'm not going to get offended about it. I know I was the bad guy for a while. Pretending to do it again won't hurt me."

"I know I wouldn't want to relive it."

"It was different for you.” She looks down at her hands, and you wonder if she’s remembering them ashen gray. “I didn't have a bunch of people living in my head. After the first moment, it was just me, the worst bits. It's not like you wanted to rip anybody's heart out."

You shudder. Caliborn had shoved you to the back of your mind, where you kept company with a bunch of silly green men and a spooky clown, but you'd caught flashes of the outside world. He was happy leaving you to feel your body's pain. Human hands weren't meant to take that kind of punishment, but the vision-blurring impact hadn't prevented you from seeing one of your best friends die. "Can we talk about something more cheerful?"

Her ears pull back slightly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"And here I was worried about upsetting *you*.” You laugh. “I guess we know which of us is made of sterner stuff."

"You're pretty tough," she says, poking you in the shoulder. "You're our adventure guy."

"Mostly in comics. My alter ego is much braver than I ever was."

She shakes her head. "They're just made up. You're the real deal. And you made it through the worst a bored comic book writer could ever throw at you."

You tap the cover of your comic book thoughtfully. "We *are* the grittier reboot."

She laughs. “That’s right. We are! So now you can enjoy your… less gritty reboot, if that’s a thing comics do.”

“We could have a beach episode.”

“Name a day, and I’ll take us back over to the island. We’ll make a vacation out of it.”

How will it feel to revisit the place where you grew up? Will it feel like coming home, or more like visiting an old prison cell? Which memories win out – the fond ones or the terrible ones? At least you’d have your grandmother at your side. Maybe that way you won’t keep expecting her to pop out from behind every tree and boulder. “There’s an idea. Your character could be a Captain Nemo type. He had a mysterious island and everything.”

“I have in the past piloted something somewhat like a cool submarine,” she agrees.

“Let’s doodle you a nifty uniform,” you say, and she grins and picks up a pen.

#tuesjade #homestuck/#kat writes fic #they'll get shorter as my list leads me to characters i'm not as familiar with #or... will my lack of confidence w/ their voices make me lean on narration #thus generating more words?#i will have to analyze the data as it is created

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halfdiamondpick · 7 years ago

Text

Rose/Jade Petplay (Musk, Petplay, Humiliation)

ROSE: Could I ask a favor from you? JADE: sure rose! what is it? :o ROSE: So, you know how Kanaya's birthday is coming up soon? JADE: do they even call them birthdays? ROSE: Does that even matter? JADE: i guess not! ROSE: Well I want to get her a gift. JADE: yes ROSE: And I want your help making her that gift. JADE: im with you so far :p ROSE: Could you help me with that? JADE: you havent told me what it is yet!! ROSE: It's a little difficult for me to say. JADE: why?? ROSE: Approaching someone with a gift like this is difficult. JADE: what's difficult about giving your girlfriend a gift on her birthday! ROSE: She's your girlfriend too- and are we married to the word birthday? JADE: rose ROSE: Hold on, I think we ought to go back to the whole "birthday/wriggling day" dichotomy again. JADE: dont change the subject ROSE: By context alone, it'd be obvious to one what the other meant when they said wriggling day versus birthday, JADE: stop it ROSE: But are we sure that "birthday" conjures up the same emotions for us that a Troll's "wriggling day" does them? Perhaps we need to invent a new word that blends the two. JADE: why are you avoiding saying it? ROSE: What emotion does the word birthday make you feel? JADE: frustrated! ROSE: Yes, you're right, Kanaya would be annoyed, wouldn't she? Okay, let's call this whole thing off then. JADE: ROSE!! ROSE: It's settled, we'll call it birgling day. JADE: JADE: what do you want my help with? ROSE: Can you teach me to be more like you? - When Rose had asked for her help preparing a gift for Kanaya, Jade figured it would be, like, something too expensive to afford for one person. Or measuring for a new bra, as she and Kanaya were about the same proportions.

At no point had she imagined that Rose would ask her how to act like a dog.

Petplay was something they'd approached in their relationship before, with Rose taking a passive role during scenes; preferring to wait to the side while Jade and Kanaya had fun. She never seemed bothered by sitting out before, though maybe she was always secretly itching to join in? But besides that, Jade had always pegged Rose as more of a cat person... "you want to start by getting naked, then dropping onto your hands and knees on the grass," instructed Jade. Rose did as she was told, albeit with some hesitation about getting on all fours. The warm Pacific sun belted down on their island home, keeping things nice and hot even in the shade, so there was no problem being naked outside (and even if there were, Jade would still push for it). In spite of that fact though, a shiver still ran down the pale girl's back. The three girls had moved onto an island in the new-universe (newniverse?), reminiscent of Jade's home growing up, because they valued their privacy from the Carapacians (and the rest of their friends). But even with the certainty that nobody else would see, Rose was still embarrassed to be doing this. Not the being naked- that was commonplace in the dynamic of their relationship. The part about acting, um... sugary? Puerile. Drippy? She was running out of words. Blegh. Hokey??? Even thinking the definitions of those words made the dour young lady recoil. Despite her nauseation however, whenever Rose pictured herself as a goofy mutt drooling affection all over her girlfriends, she got extremely turned on. Actually, that was where Jade came into all of this. "good girl rose!", she beamed happily, "now when you you hear me call you a good girl youd wag your tail by shaking your hips back and forth," Jade continued, "but since you havent got one of those yet you can just bark instead!" And there it was, the reason why the infinitely-merry, unendingly-exuberant Jade was the ideal person to teach mirthless, cynical Rose. Jade's cheery disposition, combined with her refusal to acknowledge a subject as taboo, made her great at breaking through Rose's defenses. Most other people would give up after she'd manage to retreat behind another wall of snark and misdirections, but Jade never lost sight of the plot. "Could we, um, go over that again?" Rose asked, looking up at Jade with a sheepish expression. "whats wrong rose?" asked Jade, undeterred. "It's just... I'm a little embarrassed about "barking" like an animal. It seems so... yuck. Silly?" Rose responded, looking past the tanned girl's head, and wringing her fingers along the back of her neck to show how uncomfortable she was. "Could we come back to that later?" Jade quibbled with her lip. "would it help you feel less embarrassed if i got down on all fours with you?" she asked Rose, doing her best to remain patient. Jade always knew this was going to be a challenge, because Rose is such an austere girl, but she'd asked for her friend's help to be less stuffy, and no crappy excuses were going to stop Jade from giving it to her! "Huh? Uhm, no, I think that might make it even more difficult, Jade." "how come?" "I would prefer it if someone were above me, since I'd only be doing this for their sake." "thats not true! its what you want as well" "Why would I personally want-- "you want to be on all fours, with your tongue hanging out," "Maybe, If you or Kanaya--" "smelling me and kanaya's butts!" "Dogs do more than sniff butts, you know. They also sniff other things." "youd look really embarrassing with a big dopey grin and a rubber chew toy between your teeth :b" "Yes, I imagine that I would, though--" "and you would love every moment of it!" "Jade! Are you even listening to me?" "do you want me to help you get over your shame?" "Of course I do, but--" "then quit making excuses and admit that youd like to be a horny little doggie, rose!" . . .No reply. Just a pouty noise, a faint trembling, and Rose's legs shuffled together. Jade huffed and kneeled down next to the blonde girl. Maybe exposing Rose as the pervert she really is isn't the way forward. While considering a new approach, she turned her head and noticed Rose's dick-- now half-erect and leaking precum down her thigh. She was getting turned on, being called out like that! "oh!!" Jade placed one hand on Rose's thigh, scooping up some of the sticky fluid with her fingers, while the other squeezed and groped the blonde's ass. "looks like you're already halfway there :p" Jade teased. Her words were met with more excited trembling, but Rose still didn't say a word. "so you can't say it out loud, but you know it's true?" The blonde curled her fingers and toes, ripping some blades of grass up from the ground. She didn't know why it was so hard for her to just say the things she'd like to have, but getting close to outright saying it made her so excited, so she was glad Jade wasn't giving up on her. Perhaps, she worried, admitting that she liked being humiliated would cure the anxiety, and then it would cease to be humiliating, and therefor enjoyable? Judging from the conflicted look on the blonde girl's face, Jade could picture the argument happening inside Rose's head. You didn't need to have mind powers to know Rose was getting stuck in a loop worrying about how having fun would disturb her image as a tight-ass respectable young lady. So while Rose continued to absorb herself in thought, Jade continued feeling up her backside; feathering her fingertips up and down Rose's squirming thighs, and stroking the head of the girl's prick with the aide of some of the precum she'd collected earlier. Rose didn't have to say anything for Jade to know she was enjoying herself- the twitching of her shaft between Jade's fingers as she worked spoke volumes. "come on rose! you cant say that you arent enjoying this can you?" "I can, and might! Granted, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, and that would only be because _you've_ been playing with my dick." she scoffed, with a great amount of stubbornness in her voice. "You haven't proven anything other than "sex feels good" and I think the verdict was already in about that, dearest." What a brat! Well then fine! If Rose needed to blame her reactions on somebody else in order to start having fun, then that's what Jade would do for her. Settling on that course of action, Jade moved her messy fingers up by Rose's mouth. "Weren't you supposed to be proving something about me "wanting to be on all fours smelling your-- huh?" The dour young woman snapped out of her rant. "Ew, Jade, what are you do-" but the hand interrupted her, smearing some of the precum on her pale lips. "its called rubbing their nose in it!!!! come on rosie, you made a mess, so you gotta clean it up" Rose recoiled and tried to move her head away, but Jade's hand followed her wherever she went. "Eugh, the smell..." "you should try and sound more disgusted if you want me to believe you actually dont like it" Rose wanted to blurt out "I hate it!" but as the syllables started to form on her lips, Jade's hand nearly budged on in, so she thought it best to just take this loss. No reason she couldn't hum a pitiful whine or two, though.

In spite of her protests, Rose's heart throbbed with excitement at the disrespect of it all. This was *exactly* what she needed. Jade had noticed. Even so, she had appearances to maintain, and Rose defiantly kept her mouth shut; so Jade wiped her fingers under the blonde's nose, rubbing the precum into her skin and embedding the smell so everywhere she turned stunk of her own crotch. While the blonde jerked her head around insincerely, Jade reached back and grabbed another glob of precum off her thighs. When presented with the 'fresh' batch, Rose's eyes lit up and she took a sharp inhale of musk, accidentally sounding a little _too excited_ to see it. "oh did someone like that? :)" Jade beamed a great big bucktoothed smile at her friend. Rose didn't just like it, she *loved* it. A composed and calculated kind of girl on the surface, who secretly loves stinky odors and having embarrassing messes shoved in her face. "there's other things i can make you smell if you like," Jade offered, appearifying the lime-green panties off her body and suspending them infront of Rose. "you just have to do one thing for me!" Finally capitulating, Rose looked up into Jade's eyes, with a deep red blush across her face, then back down at the hand. She stuck her tongue out and surrendered to licking her own fluids off of Jade's fingers. The taste wasn't new to her at all. In fact, she'd tasted herself plenty of times, when nobody was looking; always fantasizing a scenario like this could play out one day, if she would just allow herse-- if SOMEBODY ELSE just forced her to. Rose felt a great wash of shame come over her, but also a lot of relief, finally giving in and submitting to her baser urges. This was right where she wanted to be, humiliated and complying for the opportunity to be further humiliated. This was good. "that's a good girl rose!!!" Jade praised her, turning her hand about to let Rose's tongue reach every spot between and clean them completely. Rose felt the other hand come down softly on her hair. "are you going to continue to be good, or do i need to humiliate you some more first?" Rose pulled her lips off Jade's finger with an audible *pop*. As much as she enjoyed the threat of that, she wanted to have as many other dirty experiences as she could before her nerves finally caught up. "I'll be good. What else can I do for you?" "nuh-uh-uh! not so fast! you still havent even done the first thing i asked you to do" "What? Were there more disgusting bodily fluids you wanted me to degrade myself with? I licked your hand spotless!" spewed Rose, incredulously. "no silly!! you were supposed to bark for me remember?" Rose sat up on her knees, petrified. Shit. She had completely forgotten about that. "Well... I suppose, since you've been nothing but supportive of me up until now, aside from a little friendly, um, "teasing", I have no reason to believe you'll judge me too harshly for what will surely be a pawltry attempt at first," Rose loquaciously explained, then cleared her throat. "So, without further delay-" "did you add in a silent w to paltry >:?" "What? Maybe. How can you hear a silent letter?" "my dog ears are just that powerful!" Well that stopped her in her roll. "Are they powerful enough to hear what I'm thinking?" 'har har miss smartypants :p but yes, they can hear when your heart starts pumping with excitement" ...! Rose suddenly realized how transparent she must have been to Jade the entire time. "since youve made so much progress already, im gonna let you have a treat first" Not entirely off the hook, but maybe this will be okay. "roll over!" "What, like frontways?" "no! like turnways!! >:\ but you already knew that" "Sorry, you know these things don't come to me naturally." "just hurry up and show me your tummy or ill make you have to beg to get it!!!!" "..." Figuring Jade might actually make good on that threat, Rose saw no alternative but to comply, and so, flopped over onto her back. Arms outstretched. Or, held tightly to her sides? Crossed over her stomach? She shot a look towards Jade that seemed to be asking what to do with her hands, but the tanned girl just watched her squirm with a big bucktooth-y grin about her. Rose felt awfully- eurgh- silly just laying there on the grass, posture as stiff as a board. Nervously, she lifted her hands up and curled them into the resemblance of a loose paw grip, then turned to see how Jade responded in kind. Pretty exuberantly, it would seem. Jade practically had stars in her eyes as she looked down at Rose. "oooh my goooosh" she exclaimed, grabbing one of Rose's paws in her hands and shaking it. "now youve really earned this" she moved onto her knees next to Rose's head, "keep holding them up just like that," Jade encouraged, while lowering her arm to pin down Rose's head. "Earned wha--" Her eyes lit up wide in realization, and she tried to move away, but was too slow. The dense black tangle of Jade's furry armpit hair came crashing down over her face and she was helpless to stop it! With the heat from the sun already enough to make the girls sweaty when naked, anybody's pits would be a little damp. But combine that with the amount of heat that Jade's armpit hair traps under there, and Rose was practically drowning. Then there was the smell. With such thick and swampy underarms, Jade was always carrying a slightly unpleasant odor around with her. Today, though, she'd been scurrying about the island, getting things ready to help Rose, and the sweat she'd worked up from all that running around was just starting to turn sour. "You call this a treat?!" she stammered, inflating her cheeks to show she was holding her breath and certainly did NOT intend to indulge in these nasty things. "oh please!!! like you dont love it!" Jade chided, bringing her free hand down to wrap around Rose's shaft, "did you think i wasnt gonna notice if you bring up smells like a HUNDRED times???" she continued, emphasizing the word with a gentle poke to the head of Rose's rock-hard dick. "...It was only three..." Rose pouted. "shhhh!!!!" Jade hushed her, by dragging her soaked armpit down to cover Rose's mouth, bathing the whole area with a warm, slimy trail of sweat. "now enjoy your "belly rub" and keep those hands up!" She lifted the musky armpit back up to the demure Lalonde's nose, then started to jerk her off. The dirty, disgusting scent flooded into Rose's senses and her olfactory nerves screamed to get away, but a heat from her loins demanded even louder that she stay put; leaking a river of juices both from the head of her prick, and her agape mouth. "breath iiiiiiin," Jade stroked up Rose's length, "and ooooout," she teased, stroking back down the length in rhythm. Rose, to her credit, kept her hands curled up into paws the whole time. Her knuckles turning white as she writhed in humiliated ecstasy. Her toes mimicking a similar pattern to her fingers, while her legs flit aimlessly on the grass as she neared a tremendous finish. "i cant wait to show you off to kanaya~" Jade whispered, and apparently that was exactly what Rose needed to hear, as she cried out unrestrainedly, and dumped spurt after spurt of viscous, slippery cum all over her tummy and Jade's palm!

Both of them lay like that for a minute; Rose continuing to pant and moan, and Jade slowly peeling her messy hand away from the former's dick. The silence finally broke by a pair of lime green panties falling onto the ground beside Rose. Jade giggled and rolled off, laying down on the grass next to Rose.

"do you realize that you finally barked?" "I did..? I suppose I must've. Well, did I at least sound good?" "you sounded soooooo cute" "Thank you." "but i think we should work on your enunciation :p" "You stink!" Rose laughed, shoving Jade by the shoulder and covering her face with her hand.

"so! we can either start on leg humping or put a plug in your butt and practise tail-wagging!" "..." - Whrrrrrr! Drowning out other sounds, the noise of the sewing machine buzzing away at a bolt of fabric over and over was all she could hear the last several hours, content to be tucked away inside of her room fashioning a new dress for herself, until suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Oh" she said with a start, accidentally wrinkling the fabric below her wrists. "Please Come In" spoke Kanaya softly, fidgeting with the cloth in her hands as she swiveled around to look at the door. "happy birgling day!" Jade beamed excitedly, holding an emerald green leash that lead down to where a naked, collared, and leashed Rose Lalonde crawled in on all fours. A set of dog ears on a headband adorned her blonde hair, and she wore a matching tail plug in her ass. Her face was flushed bright red as she spoke: "Um... woof."

#NEEDS EDITING FOR TUMBLR

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