#i’m ill i’m so unwell
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In an alternate universe, Powder gets caught and left behind when Jayce’s lab explodes. Realizing that she will likely be shipped off to some dismal prison or orphanage, Jayce argues that keeping her around will lure back the real culprits of the attack- she’s just a child, after all, and nobody was really harmed- besides, somebody has to keep an eye on her, and they were his crystals. What’s the harm in letting her tag along?
In an alternate universe, Viktor notices her genius and takes her under his wing, consults her on his experiments and encourages her to undertake her own. She becomes an expected presence in their lab, tinkering away at her own projects and offering a fresh perspective when Jayce and Viktor get stuck.
In an alternate universe, they notice her despair and betrayal when her sister doesn’t come back for her. They notice when she breaks down, her grief and rage, the internal violence her mind wreaks on her, and they search for a cure. They get her help and medicine, and if need be, they talk her through her delusions with cool, scientific detachment, explaining what is going on in her brain until it doesn’t scare her anymore. If, in the process of helping her, they both begin to reconcile with their own self destructive tendencies- well, that’s just a convenient side effect.
In an alternate universe, she is understood and listened to and valued, and she is not a weapon or a tool or a jinx. She is respected for her brilliance, and her illness is acknowledged and not feared, and her genius is put toward progress and not violence. She never quite fits outside the lab- she is a Zaunite, after all, and she clings to that identity with teeth and claws- and though Jayce never quite understands, Viktor always defends her to him.
In an alternate universe, she builds Viktor braces and prosthetics and mobility aids as his condition declines, new and improved with every model. They tweak the designs together, and their witty banter as they work staves off the threat of impending mortality, just for a while. Hextech products begin to sport animal motifs, a phenomenon that neither Jayce nor Viktor feel the need to explain. Their lab is covered in graffiti, which they both complain about, but never actually discourage.
In an alternate universe, Vi finds her sister, and she is eccentric, but not broken. She is supported and cared for and hailed as the protege of the two most brilliant scientists alive. She is angry and confused and betrayed, yes- but she is not alone, and she is not afraid.
And they can work with that.
#i’m ill i’m so unwell#i’ve been thinking about this all night i just#i’ll never forgive silco for weaponizing her mental illness instead of trying to help her#and i think two queerplatonic scientist dads and their adopted mad genius inventor daughter would be a bonkers dynamic#the found family in this show is already off the charts i’m just working with what i was provided <3#arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#powder arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#this is not realistic but i don’t care. IM COPING LET ME COPE
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#girlblogging#female hysteria#girlblog#this is what makes us girls#i’m just a girl#female rage#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#just a girl#i’m so tired#i am unwell#actually mentally ill#i am not okay
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Ok I really gotta stop drawing this guy’s skinsona😭😭.. (ignore the bird.. pretend she isn’t there)
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why do you have a gingersona as well?? 😭
#I’m so freaking done with this FREAK he’s like barely a character in the original game!!!!!#He’s just some silly voice lines and some edgy text on the level cards😡😡😡😡#I mean that is characterization… but like I don’t think he’s like.. an official character.. you know?#Believe it or not but I actually didn’t really like the demon theory at first#But then when I was first drawing p1 dude I was like “ok do I really want to portray this guy as a crazy violent mentally unwell man?”#Obviously I didn’t like that bc I’m mentally ill as well so I drew the idiot demon and now I’m in nightmare autism land#Anyway uh headcanon related to a drawing:: I think the demon used to be a guardian angel! That’s why his angel form resembles a human#Don’t know how this guy fell out of heaven exactly but he sure did fall.. they took his damn eye out with the halo😭 good lord! A bit brutal#I would love to speak about my thoughts on the demon but I’m not sure if anyone wants to read that.. 🤷#postal 1#postal 1997#postal 97#postal demon#digital art#digital drawing#digital doodle#doodle#doodles#drawing#drawings#art#my art#fanart#fan art#(I think he would have more skinsonas then that.. he’s a shapeshifter!!)#(Well in my headcanon he is…)#Oh I just realized I gotta tag the redux😭#postal redux#postal redux dude#redux dude
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atp i would snort reeve tuesti fic like cocaine.
if anyone knows any fics that put reeve through the blender like “Son” by She_sees_in_the_dark or “Through Another’s Eyes” by CorsairOriginal—
i need to see that man under enough pressure to make a diamond crack. For my health.
#reeve tuesti#ff7#ffvii#txt#nah if anyone’s got fic recs PLEASE slide them my way#even if you’re like ehhhhh it’s not exactly what OP was thinking#because i WAS NOT JOKING ABOUT SNORTING REEVE FIC LIKE COCAINE. ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE IM CONSIDERING SYNTHESIZING MY OWN REEVE FIC#LIKE WISH DOT COM CRACK. ALIEXPRESS CRACK. THE KIND OF CRACK THAT MAKES YOU RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES.#fluff is great and all mad respect to our confectioners in fandom#but i think i’d actually suck dick to feed the part of my brain that needs to see Reeve pushed to his limits#comedy is great too love me some comedy. but yeah i’m fiending for reeve fics and i don’t think that’s even an exaggeration.#*deep breath* SO IF ANY REEVE TUESTI FIC WRITERS ARE OUT THERE LISTENING#IVE GOT 50 BUCKS AN ENGINEERING DEGREE AND I WORK AS A FIRST RESPONDER.#hit me UP#stg ill answer any question you have abt those topics.#idk if i’ve made it clear how desperate i am for reeve fic#I’m writing some reeve fic myself but i’m not a particularly fast writer when it comes to fiction#OH#i can also draw! the pfp is my work but that was like a rly short thing#not exactly representative of my full abilities.#so if you want to see what some of my high effort work looks like hmu i do digital and traditional.#i’m dead serious abt all of the above. i’m kind of broke so i got maybe 50 $ a month to drop on this at most.#but everything else is a free resource baby.#hi you’ve made it to the end! thanks for reading my deranged tags#i’m clinically unwell about reeve tuesti.#anyways live laugh reeve!
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Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 fans rise up I need this musical to have a rabid, active fan base
#This shit gave me an unhealthy obsession with WAR AND PEACE.#Like the novel WAR AND PEACE.#I still haven’t finished it but yk…#but my point is I need someone to be as unwell for this musical as I’ve been for the past seven months#natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812#musical theatre#war and peace#I’m so ill for this musical based off an old ass Russian novel#it’s not even funny
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I know the disease was largely considered terminal for the time but god I wonder if arthur’s lifespan would’ve gained any years if he hadn’t been tortured by the o’driscolls
#I’m no health expert but from a STORY perspective I wonder if arthur’s abduction make him more susceptible to the his symptoms#arthur has a stronger constitution than most but I have to imagine being beatened and malnutrished for god knows how long#would exacerbate the illness#it’s from here on out the symptoms really begin to show :((#this mission makes me so unwell#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#jay talks rdr
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Vent
My dad is currently withholding my medication until I hang out with him.
The way I want him dead…
I need my antidepressants and anti anxiety pills, if I don’t take them I go insane and feel so fucking sick.
What the fuck is wrong with him! Why can’t he just leave me the fuck alone!
And my mom can’t help me now because she’s out and can’t come home until like 3 pm, it’s currently 9:20 am and I’m only gonna get worse as the day progresses.
I’m so fucking pissed at him, and then he has the fucking audacity to yell at me when I said I didn’t wanna hang out. Like I have to stay home because we just put my dog on new medication and I need to watch him so not nothing bad happens. Like actually fuck you dad. What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Koda is 15, last week when I wasn’t home he had a seizure, thankfully my mom was home, but he couldn’t even move. She had to carry him everywhere. She thought he was gone. I’m not gonna risk not being there for him ever again. Why can’t dad get that through his thick skull.
I already just feel sick and numb. I wish my mom was here, she could fix this. This fucking sucks
#tw vent#cw vent#personal vent#i hate my dad#actually bpd#depressed#depressiv#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#anxitey#anxi4ty#i’m so fucking mad#mentally ill#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#mentally drained#mentally fucked#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd#i need my meds#mentally unwell#female hysteria#female rage
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So in my long analysis post I briefly touched upon this cloaked figure that we see, and how we don’t know who they are.
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Well, I was wondering about who this was, and I realize that none of the (current) villain’s outfits match this figure
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Long story short: I am a little bit of a dumb dumb and did not realise we did actually see this outfit: the temple guards.
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(Others have pointed this out, I’m just a little silly and slow, sorry y’all. I think the fact that the Temple guard minifig doesn’t look much like the canon thing threw me off a little?)
This probably isn’t anything new for most people because it wasn’t a hard thing to figure out, so this is moreso for me, but I’m still curious about the color palette of this character.
Up above I did a bunch of color splotches of Lloyd’s outfit in that night setting and how it would look in normal light. White becomes a sort of grey-blue, and the green becomes darker too. However, Lloyd’s skin is still clearly yellow. What ISN’T yellow is the outfit of the other person, which should be assumed if we were to think they are just a normal Temple Guard in the middle of the night. No, if this outfit was in daylight, it would very likely be some sort of purple. Not to mention that the dots, while green in daylight, appear to become red.
What do I think this means? …I’m not quite sure, but I kind of doubt this is just a normal Temple Guard gone bad. I think it’s much more likely that this is one of the bad guys trying to sneak into the Temple City (I’m pretty sure one of the leaked descriptions said something about a thief? I’m not sure.). As said, I’m assuming this clip is from the Feast episode, which would make sense: someone trying to steal something while everyone else is distracted at a big dinner is quite literally Basic Heist 101 (go read Six of Crows y’all). The fact that, whoever this is, put enough effort in to either make themselves Temple Guard armor, or steal some and I guess recolor it, means they were putting quite a lot of thought into this. Whoever they are, they’re being smart about their plan, and were almost 100% not expecting to fight with Lloyd.
#idk i just can’t think of it being someone from ras’ team??#in all honesty? i keep thinking jay.#the way the figure fights feels a little too effective against lloyd to me#and he would definitely not be expecting to have a fight against someone who’s trained as a ninja#(even if jay has amnesia i still like to think he knows how to fight)#((i’m sadly not mentally ill enough to go cross reference this with a jay fist-to-fist fight scene sorry y’all))#and those temple guards seem to mostly be trained with blaster things#the feast episode is ep 13. that would seem like a good time to introduce a new character#who can still be mysterious throughout the rest of the season while also getting revealed at some point.#i need to go to sleep i am so unwell about this shit man#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#ninjago dr#ninjago dr s2#ninjago spoilers#ninjago teaser#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd#cablysis
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Liking any piece of media is so exhausting because I can’t just like things normally. I need to consume its essence. I need to hold it gently in my hands and keep it close to my heart. I need to project it permanently into my brain. I need to give all the characters a hug and a high five. I need to bite them I need to put them in my pocket I need to throw them at the wall. I need to tuck them into bed and give them little kisses on the forehead. I need to throw them down the stairs. Do you understand.
#i mean every bit of this affectionately#but the only way i can express my love for things is by either biting screaming or holding it very gently#either physically or metaphorically#something in my brain is wired weird but that’s okay#I just need to. I just need to have a permanent projection of my favourite things tattooed into the front of my brain#i need to hold hands with my favourite guys#this is mostly about#ofmd#our flag means death#it’s making me bounce off the walls#like a ping pong ball#I’m chewing on glass#I’m eating the wallpaper#I’m screaming and yelling#I’m. aughhhhhhhhhh#I love it so much#my favourite ever#ever forever and ever more#it is making me ill it is making me unwell#I will never recover#never ever forever#and I love it#it’s so silly#and everyone in it is even sillier#love them for that#so so dearly#idk what this is really I’m just tired#missing the pirates again….#my bad guys. can’t wait to see them again#ofmd s2
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LEE MAJDOUB WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.
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#^this has been my insta note since I’ve seen the movie and I got attached to it so I’m making it my pinned#anyways. I will never get over his performance. I’m so ill over him I’m SO ill. What the fuck#I’m killing him bashing him with exploding car hammers I’m killing him#slash affectionate#im incredibly unwell over agent stone#Lee majdoub
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i’m going to be sick
#i’m so mentally ill#i am unwell#GOD THEYRE EVERYTHING TO ME#idk he could’ve been calling him ‘buddy’ in a silly way#but i’m not gonna speculate#all i know is that this term fits them so well and i am dying#whether platonic or romantic or something in between they are soulmates#sobs#dan and phil#dapg#dan and phil games
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Y’all.
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#just fucking end me#I have so many mixed feelings about this#did it have to happen? idk#did Con O’Neill deliver a fucking phenomenal performance? absolutely#I’m sick I’m ill I’m unwell#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2#izzy hands#ofmd season 2#edward teach#blackbeard ofmd#ofmd finale#ofmd episode 8
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Okay I’m seeing a lot of “Stolas shouldn’t have sprung everything onto Blitzø all at once and he should’ve given Blitzø time to process” but 1. This talk was soooo long overdue that it’s better that Stolas was as clear as possible and got everything off of his chest because their communication has been pretty awful thus far and 2. Blitzø was kinda the one who started heavily insulting Stolas while following him down the hallway? I don’t blame Stolas for teleporting Blitzø out, they both were very hurt in the conversation and anything further said probably wasn’t going to help the situation at all. I just hate how the fandom has to make one or the other into the bad person in the relationship like???
#// it’s like these people don’t know relationships can be very messy#// especially between two people dealing with a lot of mental instability#// which is a whole other rant#// where people bring up how Blitzø is mentally unwell whilst forgetting that Stolas isn’t that much better#// mans has clinical depression and is an abuse survivor#// like can we not compare people’s illnesses and experiences pls#// hell they aren’t even real but I feel like people do this with real people too and it makes me so mad#// btw I keep forgetting this whole interaction happened while Stolas was off his happy pills#// I’m literally in pain#helluva boss spoilers#full moon spoilers#stolitz#spoilers#shut up marv#antis dni
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Talked with my recovery coach about how I’ve been struggling lately so we decided I’m going to try and take myself to some new op shops tomorrow but now it’s almost 1am and I can’t sleep because I’m anxious over it lol
#I’ve been feeling really useless lately#had a bit of a cry to my gf the other night about how I’m not working and feel useless because of my mental illnesses#nothing bad has happened between us but this trip in particular has really highlighted just to myself how unwell I am and how my mental#illnesses are a disability and why I’m on the dsp#which has been sad and affirming at the same time but mainly just very sad#I talked about how i often feel like a house pet just constantly waiting for others since I have no real goal or purpose myself#no job no routine so reason no desire for life#it’s a really confronting feeling to feel so utterly useless and to crave death so much#I have a bad habit of laughing and making jokes about how ugly I am how useless I am that I’m a dole bludger who is lazy#always joking about wanting to die because I feel as though that’s all I’m allowed#but it’s not good lol#it’s sad and I don’t want to feel that way#so I want to try harder#but even then my trying harder feels pretty pathetic#personal
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man,, i wanna see orym talk to will right now. not like,, see him in a vision or anything, just. talk to him. what would he tell him. he feels so alone. what is he whispering to will in the dead of the night when no one else can hear him.
#please rp this liam it would make me physically ill#i’m so unwell about him already#critical role#critical role spoilers#eli.posts
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re: my last post
#LIKE????? HELLO?????? CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME#THE G R I P HE HAS ON HER ARM????? THE STARE???????? i’m ill#jal make me SO UNWELL#like ok we get it you’d do anything for each other. jesus christ#jay and his ten second long intense stare into his best friends face like they are INSUFFERABLE. I HATE THEM#descendants#descendants 3#jal#why am i so fucking insane. what is wrong with me
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