#shut up marv

[holalinkkk]

I think the part that hurt me the most was the “Am I not…like, fucking you good enough because I can… I can always do better-!” Like Blitzø really thinks he’s never good enough for the people he loves and it literally breaks my heart because Stolas’s love is RIGHT THERE but how can Blitzø even begin to openly reciprocate when he hates himself this much 😭😭😭 I’m not okay y’all

[panxramic]

I like the different interpretations of Tallulah’s hair color people have been sending me.

Her hair didn’t turn black JUST bc of q!Missa. It turned black because it’s the color of the wither roses her papa likes, it turned black because it matches the feathers on the back of q!Phil’s wings, her hair turned black because it’s the same shade as the crows that flock their home. Tallulah’s hair turned black because death is very much a part of her every day life. It turned black because she *likes* it. Tallulah’s hair is black because it resembles her whole life and the people she loves.

I like to refrain from attributing certain things about Tallulah solely to one person because people just end up turning her into an extension of others. Especially when people attribute certain features of hers to someone she hasn’t talked to in months and she has never seen as a father.

They already did it to her once before, and I’d hate to see it be done to her again. She’s more than that. She always has been.

Tallulah’s journey with self discovery and finding her place in the world has been a rollercoaster to watch unfold. She’s gone through so much to prove herself, she’s fought hard to show the world who she is and who she isn’t. She’s gotten lost in promises and old memories. Tallulah has struggled with her identity as it has always been heavily tied to family, and family on the island is important and complicated.

She’s come to a place where she finally feels comfortable. She finally feels like she belongs in this family and now she can continue that path of self discovery. Because there’s no greater feeling than that freedom of being able to decide who you are. Of being in such a comfortable spot in which she can explore different ways to express herself.

I don’t think this necessarily has been a HUGE issue, but it’s definitely one that has been in the foreground for a while and an added effect of her struggles in finding a place on the island. Because finding that place is also a part of WHO she is, it’s part of her identity.

I remember her getting upset that she was seen as an extension of him for months. It was all anybody would ever bring up around her. She was the egg that was left behind, she was the egg that didn’t have a father. She was the egg that was abandoned again and again. And it was hard trying to combat that, bc how do you work around something that is genuinely affecting you to your core? Something that felt so defining in your life?

Well I think she’s come far in showing that she’s more than that. That she’s not just the sad traumatized egg that was abandoned. She’s grown a lot, she’s found a new place. There’s still sore spots sure. She didn’t like being called the “trauma egg” because again, it’s something she’s been trying to move past from. She’s more than just her trauma, she’s more than the people and the things that have hurt her.

I think that yes her past is important, everything she’s gone through has molded her into the egg that she is. But she’s not just her past. Her past doesn’t control her, not like it used to at least. It’s important that she’s reinventing herself in a way. Because she’s changed a lot, but she’s still Tallulah. Not the same one we saw at the start, but it’s still her. And at this point in time she’s more herself than she ever has been.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

For Billy.

So, hi.

This one is for the RebelYank crowd. :)

I mean, this was kind of the obvious choice for two Civil War guys (but now I have to also give the obligatory "this is not an actual 19th century song, this was written by Jay Ungar in the 1980s" disclaimer).

I was like, "man, this would sound totally awesome and thematically appropriate as a duet!" so I arranged it for one fiddle and one classical violin... completely forgetting that Mark O'Connor and Pinchas Zukerman already arranged a violin duet version of "Ashokan Farewell" years ago. /facepalm

(It's actually Day 195 since I started playing again. I messed up my day count somewhere during the last round of missed practice sessions and I'm not really supposed to be counting anymore but I keep doing it for some reason.)

[frogaroundandfindout]

“Only I had never confronted what was wrong so I screwed up what I had…and then later on I screwed up again.”

Dick tells the vigilante what happened with Liu and the titans. Vigilante kinks him down and tells dick to get over Liu before she kills him (Nightwing Vol.2 #137)

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Okay, so this is a really interesting take on the song. I'd long noticed that the Devil's part wasn't too hard and felt like that was completely unrealistic for a demonic entity that supposedly gave Paganini his powers. I've been tempted to create a version that pitted classical against bluegrass and upped the technical stakes for both. But this creates an interesting conundrum. Because while this song is supposed to be about two of the best violinists of all time, if you make it more technically difficult no one's going to perform it. So I kinda roll this problem around in my head every now and then, wondering how you strike the right balance between sufficiently flashy and still playable for gig fiddlers.

(OP's image description under the cut)

Image description: screenshot of a tweet by user bf_crane. "'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' is the most American of songs, because it's set up like a classic cautionary tale about pride leading to a fall but it turns out the fiddler actually is the best and his vanity is justified." End image description.

[olsenmyolsen]

This Is Me Trying - One - (A Y/N Parker Spider-Woman X Kate Bishop Story)

masterlist

Summary: The Winter semester is challenging as you fall behind on exams and essays all while an old threat emerges.

Word Count: 3.3K

Content: College stress, cutie Kate Bishop

You, Y/N Parker, loved Christmas time.

You loved how it changed the city from a smelly concrete jungle into a smelly concrete jungle but with snow!

Lights went up with trees covered in decorations. Lattes got better, and so did the cookies.

The air got colder, and sometimes the people got warmer. Whether it was buying things for strangers or for a lifelong friend. Random acts of kindness increased, but on the flip side, so did the rate of crime.

Plus, swinging in the cold was awful, but with some insulation in the suit, it helped.

All of this to say you still loved this time of the year.

"You know, since you love it so much, how about you let me go? You know, like you said, kindness of strangers and all that!"

You looked at the guy webbed to a pole who just mugged a woman coming home from work and tilted your head.

"You know what you're right. Tis the season!" The man nodded as you took a few steps closer. "However, on second thought!" The man's eyes widened before you webbed his mouth shut.

"Marv, how many times are we gonna do this, buddy?" You patted the man's head as the sirens were approaching.

"Happy Holidays!" You yelled as you swung up to the nearby rooftop, looking for the woman whose purse was in your hand.

As you stay perched on the corner, your phone starts to ring. It was Peter—your best friend and brother. You debated whether to answer it or not, but eventually, you gave in and pressed the side of your mask.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Not much... I know it's late, but I- I was just wondering if you started on Dr. Ohnn's paper yet? I'm completely lost. H-He knows we're sophomores, right?!"

You chuckled and sighed.

You haven't started on the paper yet.

"Sorry, Pete. I've been busy..." You heard Peter let out a disappointed sigh.

"Y/N... you're out, aren't you?" You felt bad. For the last couple of weeks, Peters has been asking you to take it easy with your after-school duties due to the number of exams these previous few weeks have had and, as mentioned before, the crime rate, but you haven't. If anything, you tacked on more. "Y/N, you know how dangerous I still think this is."

You rolled your eyes. "Yes, Peter, I know, but-" Before you could finish, you saw a person jump from one rooftop to another two blocks down from you. "Hey Pete, I gotta go..."

"Wait Y/N... Y/N!"

The line went dead as you tapped the side of your mask and took off, swinging purse in hand to the stranger on the rooftop.

As you front-flipped from your webbed, you laughed. "Well, if it isn't the purple bird!" You said when you got up from your landing pose, scaring the crap out of the archer. He jumped and drew his bow on you before realizing who it was.

With an exaggerated groan, he withdrew his weapon.

"What do you want, Spider!?" He sounded annoyed. You put your hands over your heart. Purse still in hand. "Ouch! I just wanted to check up on the man who destroyed 30 Rock last year."

Clint Barton rolled his eyes.

"It was a tree and a skating rink. Get over it." You raised your hand and mocked the archer as you stepped onto the roof's ledge.

"Where's the youngster?" You asked switching topics. Clint raised an eyebrow. "What are you spying on me now?" You put your hands up. "As if! Just curious. Making conversation. It's not my fault you two happen to fall into my patrol area."

Clint looked at you. "Your patrol area?" You nodded. "It's called New York. Ever heard of it?" Clint rolled his eyes again. "You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that."

"I've been told."

"By friends?" You laughed. "No by enemies. Wait..? Why did you hear something?"

Clint cracked a smile. "Maybe." He hadn't, but he enjoyed this back-and-forth you two played. Like his protege, it was nice to have someone around who reminded him of the heroes of the past. People that brought hope for the future.

"So is that purse yours or?" Clint looked up from his binoculars at you. "No. It's not my color." When Clint didn't laugh, you continued. "Lady got mugged, and I don't know where to find her."

Clint looked from the purse to you and did it two more times. "What?" You asked when no words were spoken. Clint huffed. "You have her purse. It probably has her ID." You tilted your head before your eyes got wide. "Oh! Her address!"

Clint nodded yes and grumbled about you before looking into his binoculars again.

"Thanks, bird man!" You said as you looked at the address. It wasn't far. "Same time tomorrow?" You asked as you twhiped away.

Clint sent you a thumbs-up even though he wasn't paying attention. But you didn't know that. You saw a thumbs up and smiled.

You were getting through to the old man.

As you twhiped to the woman's place to return her purse, a bright-eyed Kate Bishop saw you.

"It's the Spider!" She very awkwardly whispered to no one else before running to the building; she had no idea you had just left from.

And when she got to the top: "Clint!" She shouted, making the archer jump before realizing who it was. "What!?" He said, looking at her as she smiled with excitement. "The spider! I just saw her!" He nodded like a dad would. "And?" He said. "And! And! And isn't that cool!" Clint shrugged. "I guess. She was here. She actually asked about you." Clint held in a smile.

It was a not-so-secret that Kate had a slight crush/admiration for the web-slinging hero.

"And!?" Kate took the binoculars from Clint and awaited his answer. "And... that was it. Nothing else. She joked around. I rolled my eyes. That was it."

Kate was going to press for my information, but Clint was useless when it came to details so mundane.

"Ugh. Fine. Here." Kate tried to hand the binoculars back, but Clint shook his head. "Look and tell me what you see." Kate looked through them and into the window of a known wheelman. "Tracksuits." She said, making Clint nod.

"See the guy with the awful chops?" Kate shifted her focus to a guy with bad facial hair. "Yeah."

"Look past him on the wall." Kate did just that and smiled. "I thought people only drew on blueprints in the movies?!"

"Our guys must watch a lot of movies," Clint said as he chuckled.

Kate put the binoculars down and looked at Clint. "After last year, do you still think Kingpin and these guys are connected? I mean..." Kate made a gesture that said, "really, these guys??" while pointing in the direction of the Tracksuits.

Clint shrugged. "I think it's best to believe they're connected than to not. Plus.. drugs and money still need to be run for guys like Kingpin. Any disposable person that's easy to pay is like Christmas to these guys."

Kate thought about it and nodded as she looked through the binoculars again. "Remember when we destroyed 30 rock."

Clint groans and closes his eyes. "It was a tree and an ice rink. Not the whole city!"

While Kate was busy trying to figure out what annoyed Clint and what Kingpin was planning next, you were busy climbing into your dorm through the window.

You tore your mask off as your feet landed on the floor. You ran your covered hand through your freshly shortened hair and took a deep breath before frowning. You sniffed the air before lifting your suit close to your nose. "Ah, man.."

The city really got to it tonight.

You tossed your mask into the hamper in your closet as you started wrangling out of your suit. You've been meaning to make adjustments to your suit since your arm muscle has only grown, but you hadn't, which left it a bit tight to get out of sometimes.

Lucky for you, you never had people drop by unannounced, so you could always take your time-

"Y/N is that you- OH MY GOD!"

You turned towards the voice of your brother as the top half of your suit fell, showing off you in your black sports bra and toned abdomen.

"Peter!" You yelled as he threw his hands over his eyes. "I didn't know. I'm sorry!" He shouted as he went to run out the door but hit your wall instead, causing him to fall to the floor, knocked out.

An hour later, as you moved your clothes from the wash to the dryer, Peter woke up. And after scolding him about not knocking, you and him got to work on Dr. Ohnn's paper.

But with your exhausted brain and body. Plus Peter's... mild concussion, you two didn't get far. So, just as you were about to suggest calling it for the night, your roommate came home.

Where she was or who she was with was always a mystery to you.

"Hey, losers!" Michelle-Jones, aka MJ, greeted you and Peter as she ran to grab the TV remote sitting on the table. She clicked it on and found the local news channel. "MJ, what are you-" She held up a finger and shushed your brother. "Look!" She pointed to the screen as a reporter was standing in front of a run-down apartment building that was on fire. "It's the fifth one this month!" MJ stated. "Everything thinks I'm crazy, but I know insurance fraud when I see it."

You and Peter weren't sure how to continue.

"Okay..." You started. "What's your point?" You questioned, hoping your roommate and friend was going somewhere with this. "Obviously, someone is doing something very illegal."

"Okay..." Peter said. "What can we do about it?"

"We can't do anything about it. But someone here can." MJ started motioning her head towards you, making you sigh. "MJ. I've told you multiple times. The pictures were a summer thing. I don't take their pictures anymore!" MJ rolled her eyes. Clearly not believing you. "Whatever you say..." She narrowed her eyes at you. "Spider!"

Before you could argue back, MJ got up and went to the fridge before taking a box of pizza to her room. "I'm gonna crash. Night."

"I brought that pizza..." Peter quietly said as you collapsed onto the couch. "You were gonna give it to her anyways." You turn your head to Peter. "Was not!" He defends, but you see through him. "You've had a crush on her for the last year, so please let's be honest here."

Peter closed his mouth and then said: "You're the one not being honest with her."

"Dude."

"Sorry," Peter mumbled. "It's just she's going to find out on her own if you don't tell her." He whispered. You nodded. "I know. I know. But you and I both know that the fewer people that know, the less I have to worry about. The less people get hurt."

Peter wore a sad smile on his face. "You're right. I.. I just hate lying to her."

You looked at Peter as he brought his knees close to his chest on the other end of the couch. "I'm sorry, Pete." He nodded. He knew it was easier for you to do this if the less people knew about your other life, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could lie to MJ.

The following morning, after Peter returned to his dorm, you woke up late.

Apparently, in your sleepy daze, you hit 730 into your calculator app and not your alarm clock application. On top of that, you forgot to charge your phone, so as you panicked to get ready for the day, you quickly put in the cable to charge.

You grabbed your closest pair of jeans and threw on your school sweater, all while grabbing the textbooks scattered on your desk.

You ran into the kitchen and grabbed your last pair of pop tarts before heading to the door and slipping on your vans. You zipped up your bag and bolted out the door.

However, you immediately reentered your dorm, ran into your room, snatching your glasses and phone, now on 16%.

_

The lecture hall was full by the time you entered. The booming of the door attracted the attention of everyone.

Your brother included. Your eyes found his, and he gave you a weak smile as you sat at the first seat you could find.

When you pulled out your textbook and looked up, you saw Dr. Connors sigh before he continued speaking. "As I was saying. Yes, just because the holidays are upon us doesn't mean we won't have our test on Friday. I want something fun to grade over the break, people." He gave an awkward chuckle that few students, including you, gave back. "Oh, and don't forget. Your papers on physics are still due by the end of the school year. If you've forgotten... well, there's a reason I'm tenured, and this class lasts all year." He smiled and proceeded to dismiss everybody.

Everybody but you.

"Y/N Parker. A moment."

You knew it was coming, but you kept your head up high. You look to Peter, and he nods. He'd see you after class.

"Dr. Connors, look, I'm sorry about being late-"

"Late?" He cut you off. "You missed the whole dang class." You sighed and adjusted the bag around your shoulder. "Look..." Dr. Connors started. "You're a bright student. I've seen it firsthand, but lately... it's like you're not even here. Your grades have been steadily declining. You always appear exhausted."

You nodded. "I'm trying. I wanna be here!"

"Then be here." He said before he sighed. "You still haven't told me what your physics paper is on."

You perked up at that. "I plan on doing it about fusion and Dr. Otto Octavius."

Dr. Connors sighs. "Well, planning is not a major at this university." He walks past you and goes to the giant board in the middle of the room. He then stops. "Octavius is a friend of mine. Better do your research, Parker." You nod. "I'd really hate to see you fail."

"I don't want to, sir." You say, making Connors look at you with a sad smile on his face. "I can pass along your information to Octavius. Whether he contacts you or not is up to him. After that..." He looks at you. "It's up to you, Parker."

When you exited the lecture hall, you found Peter talking to your mutual friend Ned. The closer you got, the more you saw Peter panic and tell Ned to "shut up."

"What's going on?" Peter shook his head as if nothing was wrong. You looked to Ned, who sheepishly looked away. "Ned." You drug his name out.

Ned took one look at you and broke. "I think I might know about the fires around the city!" He smiled and looked excited. It paid to have Ned be the guy in the chair.

You looked at Peter. "You didn't want him to tell me?" Peter sighed. "Y/N, you have so much going on already we don't need you." He gestures with his hand as if he was shooting a web. "Right now. Besides, you haven't even started on your essay, and you just got in trouble with Connors!"

Before you could defend your lack of action, you get interrupted.

"Hey guys!"

Immediately, your stress melted away as you looked down at Kate Bishop. Captain of the Archery Team. Your friend and study partner.

Oh, and your crush.

Katherine Elizabeth Bishop.

"Hey Kate!" You said a little too excitedly, something that everyone caught on to. Thankfully, they chose not to make a big deal out of it. "Hey, Y/N." She looked at you and smiled.

There goes the butterflies.

"So what are you three amigos talking about?" She bounced on her heels as she looked away from you and to the other two. "Oh, nothing!" Peter said. "I don't think you're allowed to say that?" Ned added with a confused face.

"Doesn't sound like nothing," Kate said, making Peter glance at you. "Sounds like Y/N is getting in trouble with Connors." She replied as she turned to you with a teasing smile. "Let me guess..." She made a thinking face. "Too busy studying for our History test?"

History test!! Oh crap, that is Friday!

"Okay, based on the look I just gained, you forgot." You nodded. Kate made a hmm noise but kept her head towards you as she thought.

"Shit," Ned spoke up. "Peter, we gotta go, or we'll be late!" Peter looked at his watch and came to the same conclusion. "Gotta go! See you, Y/N! Bye, Kate!" Peter and Ned took off running down the hall and out the doors before they sprinted across the courtyard.

"What class do they have?" Kate asked.

"Robotics."

"Sounds about right." She said. "We should probably get going." Kate smiled and gestured her head in the general direction of your History class with Kate. "Don't worry about the test," Kate said as you two walked side by side. "You always do just fine." You shrugged her compliment off.

Kate noticed. "But I was thinking if you want..." You looked at Kate and noticed her fingers interlocking with one another. "Maybe you could come to my dorm to study some more. Besides, I still need help on the laws and how they changed once the Sokovian Accords were ratified."

You and Kate had always hung out in mutual gatherings and settings. You two were good friends, but you had never been to her dorm.

On top of that. Alone.

You suddenly felt very warm and wary of your every move.

"That sounds great!" You managed to say. "When were you thinking?"

Kate thought. If it were up to her, you'd come over tonight, but Kate wasn't sure what her roommate Cassie was doing. Plus, she and Clint had a hot new lead to follow up on. "Ummm, is it cool if I text you?"

You nodded. "Sounds great." You smiled widely and pushed the door to your History class open. Letting Kate walk in first. You and Kate walked to your seats and sat beside one another.

"Shit." You heard Kate mumble when she opened her bag. "You okay?" You asked. "Uh yeah.." She bit her lip. A habit you noticed that she only got when she was embarrassed. "What's wrong?" You asked when you tore your eyes away from her chewed-on pink lips.

Kate sighed when her lips parted. "I forgot my textbook. I thought I packed after Clint- Clint-on Clinton and I got back from Archery, but I guess I didn't." Kate didn't look your way.

She was now warm and aware of every move she made.

"Hey, I surprisingly remembered mine." You pulled yours out. "We can share." You moved it in between the two of you. "Really?" She charmingly lifted her eyebrows. "Really." You said.

Kate let out a little cheer and wrapped an arm around you. "You're a lifesaver!"

If only she knew.

Kate didn't remove her arm from around you as quick as she usually would have; instead, you could feel her hand slide up your muscles to your shoulder.

Kate had been noticing your muscle growth as of late but didn't know where it came from...

Eventually, Kate removed her touch from you.

Yet you still felt her.

"It's no big deal." You said about sharing the textbook. But you and Kate both knew that based on your actions recently, you remembering to bring your book or not falling asleep in class was a miracle.

This was Kate's first time forgetting a book, and she could sense Clint's disappointed sigh.

Kate smiled as she watched your fingers turn the corners of the page in the textbook. Her eyes lifted to your fingers, to your sweater, and up to your face. She watched your side profile as you silently read a paragraph to yourself. She only stopped when you looked her way and hid a smile when you pushed up your glasses. "What's up?" You quietly asked.

"Do you want to come to my archery practice tomorrow?" Kate whispered back.

Kate wasn't sure what you had going on in your life. You and her were close but not close, like with Peter, Ned, and MJ. So she never pushed.

Plus, she liked you and didn't want to ruin what you two might have.

But when you said, "Yeah! That sounds awesome!" Like a dork, Kate smiled.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

It takes a mob part 2

part one is here.

part 3 is here.

Bill was honestly considering the store up as hostage as he glared at the isle.

30 dollars for the cheapest can of formula?? 20 for diapers??

Jesus this had to be considered gouging at this point.

Bill felt another headache begin to throb as he tried his best to decipher the difference between brands. 

‘Not a day of health class Bill,’ he grimaced as he gently shook one oof the cans. ‘Yet here you are.’

Bill never saw himself for fatherhood, he may have pondered it once or twice in his years but only in that sort of abstract way that one ponders throwing your favorite cup. It would be stupid to do, but for a moment or two tempting.

Then he got tangled up into the goon lifestyle and any notion of that pondering went out the building.

There were enough kids in Gotham without father figures, no use accidentally making another one if he slipped up.

‘And look all that thinking led yah Billy,’ his old man droned on in his head, ‘all the work, non’ of the fun. that don’t make a happy man son.’

Bill was half tempted to open that old burner phone; it sat in his breast pocket.

Even if all that would answer would be the machine.

But no, Bill had this.

‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ he pondered as he put the tin in the cart, ‘watching three kids.’

they weren’t his after all.

He found his cohorts in the next isle shaking various items at the kid.

“What in the name of Crime Alley are you two idiots doing?”

“Oh, hey Bill!”

Ken didn’t even turn to face him, what kind of etiquette were they training these guys with? 

“Again, what the fuck are you doin’? I asked you two to pick out a couple outfits for the tyke.”

“annnd we did!” Marv chuckled handing over a bundle of cloth, “We just thought that the kid deserve somethin’ cute for being so good to us is all.”

“Actually Bill, mind throwing in your two cents? which one do you think Dan would prefer the rabbit or the frog?’

Bill pinched his brow,

“I don’t know man, what difference does it make?”

“What difference?! Man, this is his first toy we’re talking about!” Ken exclaimed,

“This is a big deal! If he’s anything like my Me Mah told me I was than he’s going to be carrying it for years!’

Danny for his part blew a bubble with his mouth, great input kid.

“I- the rabbit, I guess! I dunno, maybe he’ll like Alice in wonderland or some shit.”

Marv seemed to perk up at the thought.

“Hell yeah brother! Boss likes those old books anyways, so he probably won’t notice if we borrow a copy for a bit!”

Ken snorted as he casually thew the frog back on the shelf,

“Marven, in case you forgot, Boss is very careful with those books of his. If you want to risk it, I won’t stop you but it’s your fingers on the line man.”

“Aww, anything for our lil’ Danny!”

The clerk raised an eyebrow but kept their mouth shut as the three goons went to pay. They kept their mouth shut as Bill paid in crumpled bills and let them get on their way.

“Yeah, well pass Ken wonderlad will you? This shit isn’t going to carry itself.”

Danny babbled as they tried to sort everything into a carriable position. He shook his new toy too a fro in an almost comical manner. Like he was giving orders before an ops.

Eventually they made headway and started to make their way back to crime alley. Only for Bill to raise a occupied hand to stop the others in their step.

“Wait a moment.. where are we heading? It’ll be suspicious if we head back to base. We clocked out hours ago.”

Marv shook his head,

“Can’t go back to my place, Gwen just got done with a double shift in the ER.”

“Kenny?”

Ken snorted and shook his head as well,

“We can try but we all know Me Mah is packin’ and not scared to point first if she doesn’t expect company.”

“Then where the hell are going to go?”

Bill didn’t like how the two of them were suddenly staring at him,

“No.”

“Aww come on Bill!”

“Nope. Nah ah”

Ken rolled his eyes kicked at his shin,

“It’s just for one night Bill. Tomorrow we can ask around with the other guys, but it’s not like we have many options right now.”

“My apartment is like the least kid friendly place in the neighborhood!”

Danny have a little wine as he shoved his face into Ken’s shoulder,

“Bill..”

‘Fuck…’

Bill pinched his nose as he closed his eyes, if only to block out the puppy eyes Marv was sending his way. For a big lug, it was stupid how effective they were.

“Fine… One night and you two owe me a favor after this.”

The two dumbasses actually let out a cheer loud enough to wake a nearby dog.

Leading the way Bill couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late to go to bar like they planned.

~~~~~~~~~

Hoodlums:

​@reinluna,@confused-moose-child,@mimilikey,@emeraudesfateandfandoms, @dolfay, @boredomfarie, @aconitewolfbane, @withoutcontxt, @onyxlightdragon, @satanicrutialspecialist, @phoenixdemonqueen, @vixen-uchiha, @skulld3mort-1fan, @bytheoldwillowtree, @illusionwolfwriter24r8, @thewonderoflebanon, @vipower001, @autumnwulf,

[vanfleeter]

Bound for Earth: Chapter 3

Characters: Jake Kiszka, Josh Kiszka, Marlie (Star) Warnings: 18+ || Language. Fluff. Crush. Admitting feelings. A little bit of flirting, if you squint. More brotherly antics. Angst. Frustration. Secrets. Allusion to anxiety. Smut. Allusions to masturbation. Allusions to sex.

Bound For Earth Masterlist

Shoving Josh against the wall of the corridor, I run off into the common room and hastily greeting people as I fly by. No way am I letting Josh touch my bacon. I did call it a luxury after all. Making it up to the breakfast line, Josh appears beside me and shoves me off to the side. I shove back and we continue on with it until we’re both on the floor and wrestling each other.

“Enough you two,” I hear the robotic voice of Marvin call as he glides across the floor. “There is plenty of food for everyone.”

“Relax, Marv,” Josh says as he shoves against the tile flooring and stands to his feet. “We’re only playing around.”

“Yes well, one of these days your “playing around” will cause bodily harm..again.”

Josh holds out his hand to me and I grab hold of it. He pulls me back to my feet and fixes my hair. I swat his hands away and straighten out my clothes.

“Good morning boys,” Moira says as she hands over the bacon to put it on our trays. “How’s everything working out with the launch tomorrow?” She asks, looking at me.

“Everything looks very promising,” I say. Little does anyone know that I have a plan up my sleeve–although Josh might know. “I’ve been double checking all of the codes and such, it all looks good.”

“I cannot wait.. I’m supposed to be on that trip. I’ve been missing my daughter.”

I can’t help the smile that forms on my face. “You’ll be seeing her soon enough.” And I will be seeing Earth soon enough, if everything works out accordingly.

Taking our food and going over to an empty table, Josh sits across from me and nudges my shin with the toe of his boot. I look up at him and he cocks a brow. “This launch has to go off without a hitch,” He says.

“I know, and it will.”

“Jake, I swear to God–”

“Keep your trap shut.”

“At least take me with you,” He whispers. I shake my head and he rolls his eyes. “Come on, please?”

“You were so against this, and now all of a sudden you want to go?”

“I can’t let you experience Earth without me.”

“I’ll figure something out.”

Josh grins wickedly and happily chews on his bacon. “I really want to try waffles. You’ve had me thinking about those.”

I scoff, shaking my head. “Don’t make me regret this.”

For the rest of the day, I worked on finishing the coding for the launch while adding a couple extra spots on the cruiser. Fingers crossed no one will notice. All I know now is that I won’t have a use for Charles’ badge. I quickly toss into the incinerator before getting started on forging different ones. Since Josh decided he wanted to join me, I’ve had to come up with a plan B. So that means recreating badges from two crew members staying here in the station. We’ll be able to take their spots on the cruiser and once the launch is complete, no one can do anything. Can’t exactly turn that thing around like it’s a bus, doesn’t work that way.

My computer beeps and I look up at the screen. A smile spreads across my face.

Star: Changed your mind yet?

Setting the files off to the side, I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and click on the message to respond.

Voyager: About telling you my last name?

Star: Yes.

Star: Why won’t you tell me?

Star: Are you in the Witness Protection Program or something?

I laugh, throwing my head back.

Voyager: No.

Star: So then why won’t you tell me?

Star: I tried looking for any and all ‘Jake’s in Texas and I don’t know which one is you. Are you a farmer? A bar owner? A teacher? A gigolo?

Voyager: Never thought of being a gigolo.Voyager: I’ll just tell you that I don’t live in Texas.

Star: Oh?

Star: Then where?

Voyager: You’d never guess.

Star: Try me..Star: Do you at least live in the US?

Voyager: I do have dual citizenship, but currently? No, I do not live in the US. But soon..

Star: You are killing me.

Voyager: Don’t you live in Texas?

Star: You already know that.Star: Are you really that afraid of telling me who you are?

Voyager: Afraid? No. Nervous? Yes.

Voyager: You wouldn’t believe me.

Star: Jake…

Voyager: Marlie..

Voyager: I do want you to know that I’ll be radio silent for a while.

Star: Why?

Star: How long?

Voyager: Six to eight months, give or take.

Star: Are you a fugitive?

Voyager: Nothing illegal..

Voyager: I think..

Star: You think?

Voyager: I’m taking a trip with my brother and we won't have much contact.

Star: Will you message me when you get to wherever you’re going?

Voyager: Why don’t I just come see you?

My heart races in my chest. Do I really want to do that?

Star: You want to come see me?

Voyager: Yes. If that’s okay.

I mentally cross my fingers as I wait for her response to come through. My heart still races and I swear I feel sweat starting to perspire on my forehead. I’m nervous over a woman I’ve never even met. Is that what having a crush feels like? Does she even feel the same way about me?

Her message pops up and I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Star: Of course it is.

Star: Call me when you make it in from your trip.

Star: 214-555-5501

I quickly scramble to find a blank sheet of paper and snatch up a pen to quickly write down her number.

Star: When do you leave?

Voyager: Tomorrow.

Star: So soon.

Star: Whatever will I do without getting to talk to you every day?

I chuckle, chewing on the end of the pen.

Voyager: You’ll survive.

Star: I hate you.

Voyager: I love you.

Wait what? My eyes shoot up to the screen. Oh god. I told her I love her? Jake, you idiot. I barely know her. I mean sure we’ve been talking for months now but I don’t love her. Do I?

A couple minutes went by as I waited for her response. My eyes are glued to the screen, my heart racing, and my palms starting to sweat. Suddenly the bubble appears as she types out a response but then it disappears. A couple more minutes go by and she still doesn’t respond. Fuck, I definitely screwed this up.

Standing up from my desk chair, I drop the pen on the desk and pace back and forth. She hasn’t logged off yet, but she hasn’t responded. My heart still races in my chest. I flex my fists, open and close, while I wait. The computer beeps and I freeze. Looking over at the screen I see that she’s sending a video chat request.

Crap..

Sitting back down in the chair, I grab the mouse in my hand. The cursor hovers over the accept button. Just do it and get it over with. Suddenly I’m clicking the accept button and she appears on the screen. Her eyes grow wide when she sees me. Her eyes. They are brown, a similar shade like me and they are beautiful. Her hair is a dark brown, almost black and it’s long enough to drape over her shoulders and down her chest. She may be dressed in only a gray sweat suit but she still looks beautiful.

Wow.

I definitely am crushing on her.

“Jake?”

I awkwardly wave. “It’s me.”

“You’re.. Oh my god.. You’re..him.”

“Define ‘him’,” I say as I lean forward on the desk.

“T-The space guy. You were born on Mars.”

“That would be me.”

“And your brother.” I nod my head and I watch as she leans back. “This.. This is not what I was expecting.”

I chuckle and slide off my glasses and I set them aside. “What were you expecting? A gigolo?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “That was a joke.” I crack a smile. “So this trip.. Are you coming here? To Earth?”

“I’m going to try.” I say. “A lot is riding on this..”

“Is Josh coming?”

“Unfortunately..”

She giggles and the sound alone makes me feel warm. Her voice is sweet too. I don’t really have anything to compare it to, except for maybe a 1950s romance movie. “Do you not want him to come with you?”

“No, of course I do,” I say. “Just kind of stresses me out. Somehow I have to sneak us onto the cruiser.”

“How good is your stealth?”

“Umm… Not good..” I say, thinking back on getting caught driving the ATV. I don’t stop the smirk and she giggles again.

“So about what you said..”

“Oh uh–” I stammer, averting my eyes to the many files spread out on the desk before me. “That uh–that slipped..” When I finally looked back up at the screen, she had a small smile.

“You know.. There’s no shame in admitting it,” She says.

“Not too fast?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“I might feel the same way.”

“Might?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Guess you’ll definitely have to come here and find out.”

“Guess I will.”

I can hear voices in the background and she looks upwards before looking back at me. “I have to go, but I’ll see you when you get here. Don’t lose my number and call me when you get here.” She leans forward, her hand resting at the top of her screen. “It was nice to finally see your face.” She gives me a small wave with her other hand before the screen glitches and goes black.

Leaning back in my chair, I can’t fight the smile as it comes back in full force. I’ve only ever dreamed of this when watching movies. I never thought that I’d actually be experiencing it. I want to go to Earth now to see her again, and she can help me do everything that I’ve always been wanting. She can help me feel normal.

–

“You’re sure this is going to work?” Josh says as I hand him his helmet and the badge. He flips it over and stares at it in confusion. “Roger Flint?” He says. “Seriously? I get the guy who vomits every time he goes through the simulator?”

“You aren’t him, you’re just using it to get on board.”

“But he isn’t even meant to be on this trip.”

“He is now.” I smirk. “Now come on, we have to get on there before the others.”

Swiping the badges through the scanner, the light turns green for both of us and the doors slide open to the corridor that leads to the cruiser. We put on our helmets and help each other click them into place. I press the button that opens the sliding doors of the cruiser and we get inside. I turn to look at Josh once we’re inside and I nod my head towards the back row of seats in the cabin. Once the cruiser is in a stable position, everyone on board will be able to move freely about the big, metal pod.

Taking our seats in the back row, we buckle ourselves in and await the arrival of the others. The shields on the helmets are dark enough that no one will be able to tell that it's us. Seeing Josh move beside me, I turn my head and I see him holding his hand out to me. I reach over and hold tightly to his hand.

Step One: Board the cruiser - Check.

Soon the others were beginning to board the cruiser and buckling themselves into their seats. I quickly let go of Josh’s hand and relax back into the seat.

You can do this.

“Artemis 052, are you ready?”

“Ready,” The captain speaks. Rollin Wayne. He’s been the captain of this cruiser for the last twenty years, almost our entire lives.

“Everyone is on board, you are clear for liftoff.”

I look over at Josh and he’s tapping his fingers in a rhythmic pattern on the arm of the seat. He’s nervous. As he should be. I can’t blame him, because so am I. This is the first time doing this, we don’t know what to expect.

The cruiser begins to violently shake as it begins to detach from the station and I grip tightly to the arms of the seat.

Breathe.

Remember to breathe.

In.

Out.

Slowly.

You’ve worked for this. You didn’t do all those training sessions for nothing.

“Takeoff commences in ten…”

Breathe in.

“Nine…”

Breathe out.

“Eight…”

In.

“Seven…”

Out.

“Six… Five… Four… Three… Two… One…”

I’m being pressed into the seat, tighter than I ever expected it to be. I need to keep breathing. You can do it. Even if it’s difficult, keep breathing. The brightness of the sun fills the cabin of the cruiser and I close my eyes. Focus on your breathing. It won’t be long until the cruiser stabilizes.

The shaking and the pressure, it’s too much. My heart is pounding in my chest and my suit feels so tight against my chest. I can’t turn my head, nor can I move any part of my body. I can’t see Josh so I can’t see what he must be going through.

Keep breathing. We’re almost free.

Soon the pressure decreases and I can finally breathe normally and I can move. I turn to face Josh and he turns to face me. I can see a glimpse of his face through his mask as the sun still shines in the cabin. Relief shows in his eyes, yet he also looks excited. That glimmer of hope shines in his eyes.

We’re doing this. We actually made it off Mars. We’re going to Earth.

“You are now free to roam the cabin.”

Josh glances at me and I nod my head towards the door that leads to the back of the cruiser. We don’t want to be noticed right away so we have to be careful when making our way back there. Unbuckling ourselves, the two of us cautiously move–or more like float–towards one of the sides of the cruiser to look out the window.

The sun was brightly shining off in the distance while stars were passing by. They look a lot different from a closer view. Not as pretty as they are viewing them from the ground.

“Helmets may now be removed.”

Josh and I both look at each other. Here goes nothing. We each unhook our helmets from our suits before sliding them off. Once they’re removed, we’re throwing our arms around each other. We might get caught but that doesn’t matter right now. We made it off Mars and we’re headed for Earth. I’m headed to Earth.

“Oh my god..” Pulling apart from each other, we look behind us to see Rollin.

“Oh hey Rollin!” Josh beams, trying to act innocent. “Excited to be going back to Earth?”

“How in the world did you two get on here?” He says. His eyes move to look at me and I wave. “You… Your brain is a dangerous thing.. Jake, you know you two shouldn't be here!”

“Rollin, please..” I beg as I step up to him. “Please, please don’t tell anyone.”

“Don’t tell anyone? Are you insane?”

“Rollin, please?”

“This could be dangerous, Jake, and I do not want to be responsible if something were to go wrong.”

“Do not say anything, please. Or so help me God I will make sure you don’t come back up here.”

“You’re threatening me?” Rollin laughs. “Listen here, boy–you,” He stabs his finger into my chest as he speaks. “Have absolutely no control over me. Got it? They will figure out that you aren’t back at the station and when they do, they will come asking. I cannot lie. This is dangerous and you know it.”

I roll my eyes. “How do we know? Huh? How would we know if we don’t at least try? After all, we are your guinea pigs.”

“Oh quit with the guinea pig shit… You are not–”

“No? Then why the fuck do we have to wear these monitors? Hmm? Why do we get tested every other week? They want to know if we can survive because if we do, they’ll give the okay that humans can live and populate on the god forsaken planet. No one truly cares about our wellbeing, they just want answers to their questions.”

Rollin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “If anything happens to either of you, it is on you and not me.” He starts to move away but stops and turns back around. “And another thing.. When we land, you two will be kept at Headquarters. They will not let you leave until the next transport is ready to make the trip back to Mars. So enjoy your freedom for now, because it won’t last long.”

-

It didn’t take long before we were discovered to not be at the station anymore. By midday, the following day, the cruiser is being contacted. Josh and I were still asleep inside our shared sleeping quarters when we were called back into the seating area. Pulling ourselves along the corridor, we step into the room and Rollin is waving us over. As soon as we make it over we’re met with our mother glaring at us from a holographic screen.

“I should have known..” She says as soon as she sees us. “Jacob, I’m not surprised, but you Joshua? Did he make you do it?”

“You’d be pleasantly surprised to know that I made the decision on my own.” Josh says. Mom gives him a disapproving look and he awkwardly smiles. “Okay, maybe not pleasant..”

“This has got to be the most irresponsible thing you have ever done, Jacob.” Mom says. “You are risking your life as well as your brother’s!”

“I think we’re doing pretty well so far,” I say. “Come on, Mom. Think of this as the ultimate experiment. Can humans who are born on Mars survive on Earth?”

“This isn’t funny, Jacob.”

“I’m not laughing, Mom, I’m serious.”

“And I’m serious too! This is dangerous..”

I can’t help but to roll my eyes. “Everything we do is dangerous it seems. We’ll be safe, I promise. We won’t do anything that’s strenuous. And besides, we’ll get to see Dad in person.”

Mom’s eyes grow wide. “Wh-What? Y-You’re gonna go see your father?”

My eyebrows crease and I look at Josh. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t we?”

“Uh well, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“He’s… He’s on a trip.. He won’t be home.”

“Okay? Then we’ll wait until he gets back.” I say shrugging my shoulders. “And while we do, I’ll be off doing other things.”

“You are not leaving Headquarters.”

“I am leaving headquarters when we land and after the initial twenty-four hour hold. You can’t keep me prisoner..” I hit the blue button beside the hologram and it disappears. Josh looks at me in bewilderment. He’s never seen me stand up to our mother before, because quite frankly I never have. Sure I get a little crabby with her but not once have I done anything like that with her. “What?”

Josh shakes his head. “Nothing, nothing..” A smile starts to form on his face. I can’t help but to smile back and he laughs. “We are so fucked when we get back..”

I shrug my shoulders and push off the table, allowing myself to float off through the room. “We’ll deal with that when we come to it.”

–

“I got us food,” Josh says as he pulls himself into our sleeping quarters.

“Be careful opening the milk.” I say.

“Why?” Josh says as he proceeds to break the seal on the bag. A stream of milk starts flowing out of the bag and floating in the air.

“That’s why..” I say. “You need to connect a closable straw to the bag.”

“Ohhh, so that’s what this thing is,” He says, holding up a plastic tube. “I thought it looked a little odd.” I roll my eyes and take my food.

Suddenly he’s pushing off the wall and circling around the floating stream of milk. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Drinking the milk,” He says before opening his mouth and sucking in the stream of milk.

“You’re insane..”

“But it worked,” He winks with a laugh. “So.. What are you going to do first after the twenty-four hour hold? Or who?” He winks. I look at him oddly and he laughs. “What? I haven’t forgotten about Star..” He smirks. “Oh no, excuse me.. Marlie..” He rolls his eyes.

“I have to call her first when we get there. I have no idea where she lives.”

“And then when you do.. Are you gonna…” He wags his eyebrows and I shove him over. “Come on, I know what you do when you’re alone.”

“Are you spying on me?! You freak..”

He laughs and shakes his head. “No.. But you’re not exactly quiet.. I can hear you when I walk by your cabin. I’m pretty sure anyone could..”

“Can we stop talking about this?” I say. “But so what if I do…do that?”

“You might potentially have a kid on Earth..” He says nonchalantly. When I turn my head to look at him, I can see a smirk grow on his face and he looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Use protection, mmkay?” He pops a piece of dried bacon into his mouth. “I know we haven’t needed it, but if it happens while we’re down there, I’d prefer that we were safe.”

“Great talk, Dad.”

Josh chuckles and pops another piece of bacon into his mouth. “Start eating before I take it for myself.”

______________________________________________________________

If you are not already on my general tag list and would like to be added, please let me know!! ♡ (apologies if your user is not highlighted, tumblr doesn't like to highlight all of them for some reason)

@watchingover-hypegirl @losfacedevil @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold @jaketlove @mackalah @lexii-nv-c @em-gvf01 @katiegvf @joshkiszkaenthusiast @takenbythemadness @jakekiszkasmommy @objectsinspvce @gvfmarge @heckingfrick @bluemeadows77 @laneygvf @sacredmachine @gvfpal @killerqueengvf @jaketlover @jordinlkiszka @alwaysonthemend @hellowgoodbye @anythingforjtk @hi-hi-hello11 @anthemofgvf @gretasfallingsky @songbirds-sweet @wildbluesorbit @klarxtr @stardustsecret @sunandthemoontwinflames @everyglowinthetwilightknows @devilat-thedoor @sparrowofthedawnsworld @josh-iamyour-mama @dannys-dream @peaceloveunitygvf @dayumclarizzel @thetroublegetssoloud71 @jakebrainrot @gretavanfleetmichelle @hollyco @its-interesting-van-kleep @tinydancer40 @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @thewritingbeforesunrise @katuschka @sammysstolenbirks @asendingtothestarsasone @fleetingjake @emojakekiszka @literal-dead-leaf @klarxtr @musicislove3389 @earthgrlsreasy

[nightguide]

meeting the British cast of Glee is remotely squared than you meeting the Queen or making fun of 'the accent' knowing there are more than 50 squares in an accent than you finding out that Pakistani's are royally the only ones who binge on tea more than Brits do

like who cares about a Saturday night when it's Saturday everyday that even Cat Deeley figures you out in public

shame Lorraine Kelly for killing Mondays

i like Mondays

okay, so you think you you're dumber than a 10yo is why you should run back to your mother blog

get the fuck off my internet you pedophile

i'm Muslim and gay at the same time.

you're dumbfucked

now, tell me what you did wrong to prove Harper St. James wrong

why did Demi Lovato leave the Tower of London in pure hatred

you definitely sabotaged Taylor Swift's career to make your own up because you're not allowed to know the public like that

conspiracy theorists win

what's your clue

you dumb Americans: Cat Deeley

British TV is'nt everything if you watched Saturday night TV without Cat on in the morning or if you're too stupid to know who Ant&Dec are then you're not cultured. Even if you're not remotely British by whiteness then your likeness is not associated to liking your brown friends 'curry' then you can't chat shit about the woman who the Mario brothers cannot live without is how you would easily get shut down by Princess Peach if you were the last man alive right next to a Daisy (if you know my blog), then you can't fucking say anything if you knew Cat Deeley, so here is who she is

fuck you for existing

get off my blog

do ya homework

i will leave you gutted over Dec's royalty

[dance-like-an-idiot]

t4t whizzvin/dykesettos my children...

i have come bearing gifts...

set around thrill of first love where marvin isn't quite sure about his gender and accidentally asks whizzer (his girlfriend(?) who keeps telling him that she isn't a girl all that much) about it while they're both shit faced

1.1k words, whizzer's pov, whizzer uses all (mostly he/they in this one shot) and marv uses he/him (for now)

if you want more of this au check out the full plot i wrote!

under the cut is my writing screenshotted, then written out :3 enjoy!! (and reblog with your thoughts mayhaps?)

whizzer knows they're far too drunk when marvin asks them "what is it like to be transgender?"

whizzer, utterly baffled, sputters out a laugh that catapults her forward on the couch and he nearly hits his head on the coffee table because of their newfound drunken power. he laughs for far too long and laughs directly into the floor and their weight is slowly falling off the couch with every new laugh that racks her. "oh marv," he starts with a giggle. "i just hallucinated the funniest thing."

she keeps laughing and marvin teasingly punches their side —marvin's drunken power pushing him off the couch, whizzer was barely on it anyways— whizzer starts laughing even harder when his ass hits the ground and marvin's cute but upset pout doesn't alleviate it. "was that a hallucination?" he says with pretty, even while narrowed, eyes. he huffs from the couch and crosses his arms. "answer my question."

whizzer stops their laughs and has to physically steady himself for a moment while she tries to remember what he asked in the first place. something out of character, but funny, but something whizzer knows about... oh shit right. oh. oh. okay. yeah. thats pretty out of character from a transphobe, however charming this one is.

he blinks a few times as they leave their thoughts and he looks up to marvin. he meets his gaze and starts crawling back to her place on the couch, slightly dazed from the weight and firm reality of that question. they don't get up on the couch though, it's too far away and her (his) body seems too heavy for that right now. unfortunately marvin still sits on the couch a few feet opposite to him, and whizzer sits in front of him. it's a very familiar position, but surprisingly his mind doesn't wander. "um," he starts lamely. "bad." yeah, thats an understatement. "yeah." they nod their head, agreeing with himself. "yeah.”

marvin frowns and slides himself off the couch to sit next to whizzer. he pokes their arm and scoots incredibly close. he wraps his arms around whizzer's shoulders and drapes his legs across whizzer's lap. it feels like every part of their bodies touch, to whizzer's drunk, touch-starved delight. god, very, very drunk then. "tell me more, asshole." and whizzer's thoughts are snapped closed.

he pouts, facing marvin again. and well, he doesn't want to think about their gender or... anything at all actually. so he kisses him, attempting to shut their mind up.

marvin drunkenly reciprocates and it gets very heated very fast and once marvin starts unbuttoning his shirt the very idea of having boobs, cleavage, breasts, curves, bullshit on his body seems very revolting and he pushes marvin off very fast. "no. not now." he says and rebuttons the single button marvin undid on his shirt.

"why?" he asks. whizzer wraps his arms around his chest and subconsciously squeezes because marvin is so fucking smug its clear he thinks he's found something, and honestly, upsettingly, he has. he's impossible. and a bitch. and hot. ugh.

whizzer groans and flops their face into marvins open lap, squishing their breasts and all thoughts of them. "my boobs are revolting right now.” he drags his arms out from under him, if he's talking about it he'll be comfortable damnit. “sometimes it's fine, the days i don't wear my hair up or actually put on makeup. but its usually just when i look hot that i like my boobs.” whizzer stops themselves, but doesn't think, only talks. “i wish my chest was flat cause it doesn't look like me. especially when my hair is up and i wear your shitty masculine-full-of-urine clothes. cause i look and feel like a man then.

“i wish i was. but also not, like not a man man. dammit i wish i had a dick! a flat chest! god it would be so nice. i wish i could look like a man to justify feeling like a man. i feel like i'm just imagining it sometimes, cause i know tomorrow i’m not gonna feel like a man anymore. tomorrow i very well may love my boobs and pussy and have my hair down and go full glam.” whizzer takes a heavy breath, somehow sober enough to not speak his next thoughts; “am i a fake?” maybe. maybe she is.

they sniff back their tears and its the only sound in the room. the two of them just sit there, whizzer face down in marvin's lap for –surprisingly for them– non sexual purposes, and marvin…

marvin slowly relaxes and his hands caress whizzer's tense shoulders. it feels so fully like permission that he relaxes too, and keeps talking. “i wish i didn't always have to pass in order to not get punched whenever i go out. i wish i could go out into the world with a packer under a skirt, and my hair up, the hot makeup i can do so i look facially like a guy, a bubblegum pink polo and my goddamn leather jacket. i wish i could feel like myself, to everyone, without having to look over my back so i don't get hospitalized.

“i love looking like both of them so much, its so fucking cool and nice i’m too drunk to describe it right what the fuck…” whizzer trailed off in his endless ramble. he shifts his head to the side so their cheek was pressed against marvins ankle. "what was i saying...?"

"a lot," marvin responds with a light chuckle and whizzer just now notices that his hands have stilled. his hands climb up his back and he slowly starts to pet whizzer's hair. whizzer melts into him with ease, though marvin starts to melt too, entranced by whizzer's increasingly heavy breaths. whizzer notices marvin's legs part minutely, and marvin's arms feel heavy on them and they hear a soft groan from the coffee table.

he really is relaxing, then. good. these moments are rare, and lovely and seconds later whizzer can't say he's surprised when marvin's hands tense suddenly. "baby..." marvin starts but stops himself. that pet name is definitely surprising. good surprising. wonderful, but surprising.

whizzer turns around fully. his head is seated in marvin's lap still and he makes eye contact with marvin's tense face that is inches above the coffee table. he must have been resting on it.

marvin's face moves above him and calloused hands comb back into his hair, soft, slow, and only once. his thumbs brush softly through his undercut and whizzer is so content with this gesture that they don't even think about the face he makes, with their eyes shuddering shut. but it makes marvin speak again, quietly; "you're so handsome."

thats. thats a surprise.

whizzer doesn't know how or when but he's suddenly and passionately kissing marvin. he's so struck with joy from this person he loves (oh, sober him would never admit that) that he returns that joy in the way he knows best. because he may not understand this euphoria, or marvin's actions, but he understands sex pretty well.

when whizzer feels up marvin’s chest and the other man winces, he wishes one day he'll understand marvin better.

[holalinkkk]

Okay I’m seeing a lot of “Stolas shouldn’t have sprung everything onto Blitzø all at once and he should’ve given Blitzø time to process” but 1. This talk was soooo long overdue that it’s better that Stolas was as clear as possible and got everything off of his chest because their communication has been pretty awful thus far and 2. Blitzø was kinda the one who started heavily insulting Stolas while following him down the hallway? I don’t blame Stolas for teleporting Blitzø out, they both were very hurt in the conversation and anything further said probably wasn’t going to help the situation at all. I just hate how the fandom has to make one or the other into the bad person in the relationship like???

[shy-urban-hobbit]

20 with Laiden please!

20 - "I'm always on your side."

Lambert slammed the door to his room closed, fighting the urge to scream or yell or throw something, no matter how cathartic it might be. He didn't want to give Vesemir the satisfaction of knowing how much he'd gotten under his skin.

The two of them had always been at loggerheads ("Too alike" Eskel had commented once. Lambert had promptly and soundly beaten his ass in training for such slander), but it had been worse since the other Wolves had found out about Aiden.

For all their suspicions at first, Geralt and Eskel at least eventually reached some form of grudging acceptance: Lambert was still returning to them alive and well every year after all, and The Cat - according to Lambert - had never pushed his luck fishing for an invitation to The Keep, nor had he dragged Lambert off to the proverbial lions den that was Dyn Marv. Vesemir on The other hand...

Every winter since, it had been more criticism, more thinly veiled comments about Lambert's decisions, snipes about his sense of judgement, backhanded comments on things he knew wouldn't even register had it been either Geralt or Eskel. The old man had started early this year too, he hadn't even been back a full week.

He was sure that if he bought Aiden up here, Vesemir would soon change his tune if he gave him a chance. The problem was, he didn't trust Vesemir enough to not try stabbing Aiden for long enough to do that. His brothers had tried to help to begin with but over time the words had dwindled down to sympathetic looks. Lambert didn't want to blame them - if Vesemir hadn't listened the second time, he wouldn't listen the hundredth, but part of him that was steadily growing bigger wanted to curl up against the feeling of being so alone in his own home and yet knowing things would be worse if he didn't return every year. There was no way Vesemir and by extension Geralt and Eskel wouldn't assume the worst if he just didn't show up, just as they would if he told them he'd be wintering with Aiden (if he ever asked). He was damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

Just once, he'd like someone else to yell at Vesemir when he started on him. To tell him to shut the fuck up, that he didn't know what he was talking about, 'respect' be damned. He knew that would never happen though, it was his job to be the disrespectful one, after all.

He dragged himself from where he'd been slumped against the door on the cold stone floor (when had he sat down?) and grabbed his pack, upturning it aggressively. Didn't want to give the old man any more ammunition by not doing laundry.

He blinked in surprise when he saw it. A small slip of parchment rolled up and placed in one of his empty potion bottles. Odd. After some minutes trying to fish it out and not give into the urge to just smash the damn thing to get it out, he unfurled it and gave a small smile. Someone up there had a weird sense of humour.

As if summoned by Lambert's thoughts, familiar, spidery writing stared back at him. The slightly slanted i, the y that sometimes looked more like a g and could only be differentiated by the loops made by the tails - Aiden always went a little fancier on his Y's for some reason.

"I'm always on your side."

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

The difference between a violin and a fiddle is whether or not the musician holding said instrument gets insulted that you just called it a "fiddle", LOL.

There's instrument makers, instrument accessories, bows, and setups that are preferred by fiddlers vs. violinists, but there's no hard dividing line. It's more about whether the person playing identifies as a fiddler or a violinist, based on their technique/style/repertoire. And even that can have some pretty blurry boundaries (The Berwick Fiddle Consort immediately comes to mind).

I dunno when or why we decided that "fiddle" was a lowbrow word. Maybe it has something to do with its Germanic roots, while "violin" is from the Romance languages. If I think about it too hard it all seems very silly, and yet... I wouldn't call Dolce a "fiddle".

wtf is the difference between a violin and a fiddle???

I should get around to answering asks lol

anyway, I’d maintain that there isn’t really a physical difference, it’s mainly a stylistic thing, though some people believe different things. I’ve heard some fiddlers do prefer to hold their instruments differently so that it’s less locked between the chin and the shoulder, but that doesn’t necessarily have to do with the construction of the instrument (and not everyone does, so it’s not like a Requirement of the technique or anything). I’ve also heard people claim that certain instruments are designed for fiddling vs. designed for classical rep which is very possible but I imagine the reality is that you’ll rarely find a significant difference, unless maybe you’re looking at professionals from both sides or something—not being a violinist I wouldn’t personally be able to say. not sure if maybe Resident Violinist Mutual @hartshorn-and-isinglass has an opinion on this?

I don’t know, I think the best but perhaps least satisfying answer is that there isn’t one distinct difference because fiddling is fundamentally a folk art and everyone has learned differently, which is part of the beauty of it! for the same reasons it’s definitely more about the technique than the physical construction.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Yeah, no, I am 100% not going to shut up about this for the rest of the week. I wasn't expecting Saturday to live rent-free in my head like this. (I feel like I should go post a note of appreciation to one of the other blorbos on social media since I didn't get to introduce myself to him after the concert. I was just too spoon-depleted to do the fanboi thing more than once after being emotionally bulldozed by that concert.)

I've decided to go through my blog archives and... *~change some settings~* on things. Part of it is just straight-up paranoia even though everything was already anonymized and it's not like search works terribly well on this hellsite. But also... I've been on an entire-ass emotional journey for the past several days. I was not expecting to have such an extensive and personal conversation with Senpai on a first meeting, and it is rewiring my neurons about him. It was a wonderful, life-changing moment, and he is pretty much how I imagined him IRL. But now? I don't feel great about leaving the more unhinged posts up publicly.

I think my brain has officially collapsed the divide between Blorbo from My Media and the real person, and those kinda posts are just not what I want in relation to him anymore.

Like I said. Been a whole-ass journey.

Going through my old posts has also been an opportunity for me to re-examine what it was that I thought I wanted a year ago vs. where I'm at now. I keep going on about how my teenage self would have said yes immediately to Baroque violin had anyone offered, but... that was also me a year ago, before I'd started playing again. Reality has not been kind to my dreams of getting back to my former technical level within a year. But I keep thinking about how he did remind me that Baroque violin would actually put less stress on my neck if I'm using my left hand to support it. And, I would be vastly cutting back on high-position shifts, one of the main things aggravating my nerve.

Honestly, I think I'm kind of terrified of doing a thing that would be so meaningful for me on so many levels. Like, if I'm being real here, I am just a giant ball of nerves about the idea of having to invest a whole bunch of time, money and effort for the risk of discovering that this thing I thought I wanted so badly ends up being completely infeasible for some reason or another and it'll all turn to ashes in my mouth. I just... I just don't know if I have the capacity for that kind of heartbreak right now. I still feel so vulnerable, coming back into myself in the last couple of years.

But I keep coming back to the question: what might things look like next year?

I should go to bed.

[iamvegorott]

Ink Month 2024 Day 11

Kiss - Marvelsepticeye

“Get ready to weep, Bing!” Jackie laughed, leaning his body while tilting the controller, his thumb rapidly pressing one of the buttons. 

“Spamming doesn’t count!” Bing laughed back, leaning toward the TV. 

“It does if he’s winning.” Chase’s laugh was the loudest. Bing and Jackie were sitting on the floor in front of the couch while Chase lounged on it.  

“You’d think the robot would be better at video games.” Jackie teased.

“I will literally kick your ass.” Bing ‘threatened’. 

“I’d like to see you try, Bingy-boy.” 

“Let me get my phone out first. Gotta record the show.” Chase chuckled. 

“What are you three up to?” Marvin asked as he came into the room. 

“Kicking Bing’s ass in a fighting game,” Jackie answered, eyes not leaving the screen. 

“I’m going to the cafe with JJ. Do you want me to get you anything?” Marvin offered.

“Could you get me one of the chocolate cookies, please?” Jackie glanced away just long enough to flash a smile.  

“Of course. You enjoy your game.” Marvin leaned over and kissed Jackie’s cheek, chuckling when that got Jackie to stiffen and flush red almost instantly. “Bye~” He had an evil smile as he walked off, knowing Jackie was watching him. 

“I win!” Bing cheered and snapped Jackie back to the present. “You’d think you’d be able to handle a kiss from your boyfriend.” 

“Oh, shut up.” Jackie lunged at Bing, wrestling him to the ground.

“Put him in a headlock.” Chase quickly pulled out his phone and turned the camera on.

“Don’t give him ideas!”

x~x~x

“I’m a sloth!” Robbie giggled as he clung to a tree branch. 

“Please be careful!” Henrik called from where he and Chase sat on the patio. 

“Was that for Robbie or Jackie?” Chase asked, pointing to where the other Septiceye was casually jumping between branches on a different tree.

“Both.” Henrik sighed. 

“Marv, watch this!” Jackie wanted to show off and leaped across a branch, falling a few feet and landing on another. He then casually bounced back off the branch, caught himself, and swung his body around. His gloves were a saving grace from splinters. He then sat on the branch. For the final bit, he leaned back and was now hanging upside down, grinning big and bright at Marvin. “Was that cool?” 

“That was very cool.” Marvin agreed with a chuckle. “You’re my favorite monkey.” He stepped closer and kissed Jackie’s cheek. Jackie’s face went red, and a little giggle came out, but that turned into a yelp as he lost his grip on the tree and fell to the ground. 

"I told you to be careful!” Henrik groaned.

“Smooth, Jackie, smooth.” Chase laughed.

x~x~x

“Maybe we could use a type of adhesive,” Mad suggested, pointing to the drawing Jackie showed him. The two were leaning over the kitchen table together. Mare sat in one of the chairs and was playing on his phone. “It would be different than the kind that’s on your mask, but it would be an extra layer of security to make sure the belt doesn’t fall off.” 

“Velcro’s a thing.” Mare chuckled. 

“That’s also an option.” Mad started writing down some notes. “I’m assuming you’re going to use several pairs of pants, so maybe using velcro would be best to make transferring the items easier.” 

“Maybe we could use like velcro hook stuff?” Jackie started sketching out what he was trying to explain. “They go through the belt loops, so if the buckle gives, there’s like seven or however many loops pants have of velcro-hook stuff to hold it up.” 

“I could probably make a material that has velcro qualities but is stronger,” Mad hummed in thought.

“That would be so cool!” 

“Afternoon, you three, how are we doing?” Marvin asked, standing next to Jackie and peeking at the collection of sketches. “Making some superhero stuff for Jackie?” 

“They want to ‘give him an update’.” Mare used his fingers to add the quotes. 

“That’s adorable.” Marvin was about to kiss Jackie's cheek, but Jackie caught on this time and, determined to not be a flustered mess, decided the best course of action was to turn his head and pull Marvin into a full kiss. Marvin wrapped his arms around Jackie’s neck and eagerly returned the kiss. 

“Hey!” Mad protested when Mare placed a hand over his eyes. 

[mothgodofchaos]

Chess

Technically the spiritual successor to Uno. I also had to stop myself from typing many things as I'm watching Sean play Thank Goodness You're Here, and it's a bit too British. /lh

Marvin the Magnificent x GN!Reader, ft. Jackie, TW: none Words: 518

“Prepare t’ be defeated!”

“Marv, we’re just playing chess.”

He sets up the pieces, looking rather smug for playing a game that hasn’t even started yet. You roll your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back against the couch cushions. Jackie perches himself behind you on the couch, eating a burrito as he settles on the back of the couch, resting his feet on the arm.

“Jacks, there’s a spot next to me.”

“Nah. I got prime seatin’ from up here.”

Marvin finishes setting up, sipping his tea and stretching out in his seat. You move first, only putting in a slight bit of effort since you’re not exactly sure as to what his skill level is. But, he was also the one to suggest it, so perhaps he’s good at it. He takes forever to make his own move, only choosing to move one pawn slightly. You look up at him, trying to figure out if him taking his time was for a bit or genuine.

“Do I need to pull out a timer?”

“Wha-? Nah, I’m good.”

“Alright…”

You again take just a moment to make your move, and he takes forever to make his. His brow is furrowed, just like when he’s thinking hard. It takes all of your self control to contain your laughter inside and not throw him off his game this early. When he makes his move, he looks up at you smug, as if he has already bested you despite having just moved two of his pawns one space. Jackie looks incredibly amused already, somehow already with a second burrito. You glance away for a second and he has a third, offering it to you.

“Thanks…?”

“No problem.”

“Where’s mine!?”

“Burritos are only fer winners.”

“We’re barely t’ree turns in!”

“I said what I said.”

You take your burrito to the kitchen, splitting it in half and returning to the living room. You hand one half to Marvin, who softens when he realizes what you’ve done.

“I was just playin’, love. Wasn’t wantin’ ye t’ split yers wit’ me.”

“Well now you have a burrito, well, half of one.”

Marvin now feels bad that you’re sacrificing your food for him. So much so, that he’s completely thrown off of his strategy, not that you notice all that much. You both fall into a rhythm of randomly moving your pieces, and Jackie is thoroughly enjoying it. Did he think that he’d get the two of you to bond over a burrito he made? No. But it’s incredibly entertaining, at least more than it normally would be to be third wheeling for the two of you. 

Eventually you look down, realizing that you have him in check. You move the last piece, looking Marvin in the eye.

“Checkmate.”

“Eh so ye took my king, but as long as I can be yer king, I don’t much care.”

“Gross.”

“OH SHUT UP, YE BURRITO BASTARD-”

Marvin would have been a lot more romantic, if it weren’t for the fact that he chucked the remaining amount of his burrito at Jackie’s face.