#I will adopt that donkey

[roguesnitch]

Sorry, I’m a bit late to the (birthday) party!! Hope you had a great day @ilovemushystuff 🎉

This story is just fab, spot on take on Lorraine for starters! The format is so unique and I loved the ad’ breaks.

It has such warmth with the family dynamics but is also bloody hilarious. The Turner’s nepotism is a personal fav 😆

Such a nice way to celebrate 75 years of the NHS and a great reminder for those of us who have access to it, what a privilege it is. Let’s hope the greedy buggers don’t take it away 👀

HAPPY 75th BIRTHDAY NHS

Call the Midwife Special AU FIC

HAPPYBIRTHDAY @ilovemushystuff I know you aren't 75! but I hope you enjoy this. Like the NHS you are so loved, appreciated, valued and vital to this community. But in a much better state than the NHS. ❤💌🎈🎁🎂

Thank you @fourteen-teacups for being the most patient person in the world. It felt like 75years since we started writing this. 🥰@roguesnitch yes you can adopt a donkey.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to TV presenters living or dead are completely coincidental. Absoloutley. 😬

July 5th 2023, Aylward Care Home, Poplar.

“Come on Jack, do you want to have a wee sit in the garden? It's a lovely morning. Let’s fetch your cardi.” 

The tall man is stooped, no longer able to carry his previous imposing six foot stature. Bent by age and years of working his failing muscles and bones are always tired. He turns his head to look at the young fresh faced girl at his side. He likes this one. They are all nice, pleasant, some a little kinder than others. But they are busy, they have mouths to feed, medicines to dispense and bums to wash. This one she seems to have more time than others. Maybe it is because she has the gift of youth. She has time to play with. Jack’s time is running out. Time has started to tease him. Started to play cruel games. Time does not play fair. Time plays by its own rules.

A loud noise alerts Jack and he clings to the girl. She doesn't panic but steadies her friend. For a split second he is back in Derry, but only for a second.

“It’s only the telly Jack. In the day room, don’t worry. Someone’s put the sound up.”

An older woman appears in the corridor, older, but not as old as Jack. He thinks she has a  beautiful smile and a hint of a foreign accent. This one always makes him laugh. He asked her where she was from once and she said Hackney and then she roared with laughter. Jack laughed too; he didn't know why, it just feels good to laugh. But he never asked again.

“Who’s in the day room?”

“I’m not sure, I thought there was just one lady, but it can’t be. You take our Jack the Lad, here, into the garden while I go check it out, Amy.”

Amy. That's her name, sweet Amy. They wear name badges but the writing is too small.

“Thanks Flora.”

Ah yes, Flirty Flora. Now he remembers.

Amy returns to the day room, the telly is still too loud for her own comfort, but bearable. Flora is fiddling with the hearing aids in the ears of the only other occupant. She is being brushed away. Flora doesn't notice or if she does it doesn’t bother her,

“You want to hear, don't you? I’m too big to be a fly, you know. Can’t swat me away so easily.”

Amy smiles and sees what she thinks is a hint of what might be one in the resident resisting Flora’s ministrations.

“Who turned the sound up?” Amy asks as she looks around the otherwise empty room.

“No idea, I don’t think, my lady here, could reach the remote or figure out which button to press. It took me five minutes to guess how to turn it down again."

“Maybe Dangerous Dave is playing pranks again.”

“That’s what I thought but his daughter has taken him out today. It's Wednesday. If you ask me, that TV set is spooked. It’s always doing it.”

Flora completed her challenge of securing and tuning in the hearing aids, She gently takes hold of the arm that was flying into her face and asks if all is now comfortable and clear. She receives a slight nod in response, perceivable only because Flora knows what to look out for.

“Is this the right channel?” asks Amy.

“Yes, It’s 9 o'clock time for Lorraine.”

“I hope it isn’t that footballer’s missus again, right annoying she is.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“What give up this life of luxury for some sweaty millionaire, as if? The residents would miss me. You’d miss me.”

Flora smiles at Amy's protestations and thinks she may have detected another slight nod elsewhere.

A squeaky non descriptive tune pours out of the television and the screen is a vibrant mix of pink and white.

Three people sigh as Lorraine appears before them on screen.

Lorraine, a jolly looking white woman with dark shoulder length hair, who looks to be in her late fifties, fills the screen. She begins to talk to the camera. A Scottish lilt in her voice.

 “Good Morning everyone, how are you today? I hope you are all well. And if you are feeling well this morning, it might be in part to do with the focus of our show. That’s right we moved out of our cosy wee West London studio to venture east into Tower Hamlets.”

It becomes clear Lorraine is standing in front of an old building probably dated back to the late 1800s.

“The reason we find ourselves in Poplar this morning is to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the birth of the National Health Service. And what better way to do that, than in the Patrick Turner Health Hub that has provided primary care predating the formation of the NHS. In all that time it has been the working home of one family.”

The camera now pans out to reveal a Victorian building that has been extended and modernised over the centuries. Some additions are more historically sympathetic than others. Lorraine continues.

“There has been a Turner working here since the end of the Second World War. Including our very own medical expert and friend of the show, Dr Teddy Turner.”

A man of similar age to the presenter pops into view. He is tall, but doesn’t overshadow our host. His hair is dark but the light grey that highlights his unruly tresses may once have been blonde. He is smartly dressed in a dark tailored three piece suit, pink shirt and tie haphazardly adorned in medical equipment such as thermometers, stethoscopes and those things for looking in your eyes and ear.

 “Good Morning, Dr Turner.” 

“Good morning, Lorraine and welcome to Poplar.”

They chat in the tone of two old friends surprised to have bumped into each other at the doctor’s that morning.

“Well, it’s lovely to be here and the staff have made us very welcome. I’m sure the last thing they wanted on a busy Wednesday morning is a TV crew to contend with, but they've been really lovely.” 

“I think like everybody else involved in patient care we are only too glad to have the opportunity to celebrate 75 years of the National Health Service. And share a little bit of our part in that incredible history.”

“Well, shall we do just that very thing? After the break we will be venturing inside the Patrick Turner Health Hub. Where we will be meeting more Turners talking about the last 75 years of working within the NHS. We’ll be looking at some of the most significant changes over that time, with a family that has always been at the cutting edge, if you will please pardon my pun.”

Those who went to brew a cup of YorkshireTea during the intermission miss the NHS75 anniversary retro adverts for Radio Rentals, pink wafers and playtex girdles.

“Welcome back. As you can see we’ve moved into a sort of conference room. Is that right, Dr Teddy?”

“Yes, it's where we hold training days for our staff and the wider district. We also run information sessions for newly diagnosed diabetics, dementia support, mental health, stopping smoking, drug and alcohol advice. And of course women’s health, which here at Patrick Turner’s we specialise in.”

“Well, we are going to come on to that, but I see over here some lovely people. I would like you very much to introduce us to.”

The camera moves towards a group of people sat around a functional table with mugs in front of them of various sizes and designs.

“This is my big sister, Angela. She was a full time GP here for over thirty years and now runs a lot of our education programmes and Well Woman clinics. Her daughter Jools has taken over her mantle and also her office and is currently one of our full time GPs.”

A slim blonde woman who appears to be in her late 50s or early 60s becomes the camera operator's focus. Her hair is tied back from her face, which is thin and angular, but her blue eyes have a gleam and her lips are failing to hide a smirk. She carefully clutches a blue mug and seems to be holding it quite tensely at a deliberate angle. A few letters are revealed between her fingers UK, THE, IES.

“So she’s your niece. We might be able to catch a word with Dr Jools later, but she’s busy seeing patients right now. Is that right, Dr Teddy?”

“Yes, she is my niece. No-one does nepotism quite like the Turners.”

“Moving on.” Lorraine is starting to sound as if she is wondering who is running this show? “And who is this distinguished looking gentleman next to your lovely sister?”

“This gentleman also celebrates his 75th birthday this year. He's actually slightly older than the NHS. This is Sir Timothy Turner, Lorraine. Or as I refer to him Lord Buggerlugs.”

“That seems very unkind, but having a sibling myself it's relatable. I must also apologise to anyone offended by any inappropriate use of language so early in the morning. Regular viewers will know this is to be expected when Dr Teddy is my special guest.”

“I’m seeing a disapproving glance from the lady next to Sir Timothy and the main reason we are here today. Dr Teddy’s, Sir Timothy’s and Dr Angela’s mum is also here. Dr Teddy, please introduce us to this remarkable lady.”

“Lorraine and viewers this is Sister Shelagh Turner, my, sorry, our mum. She came to Poplar in July 1948. It was the inception of the National Health Service. She arrived as a nurse and newly qualified midwife to work on the district with the nuns at Nonnatus House.” 

“I wonder if I could ask Sir Timothy to explain a wee bit of the history of Nonnatus House and its relevance in the East End of London.”

The camera focuses on a tall gentleman looking a good ten years older than his siblings. (They definitely appear to have been a good ten years). He is also dressed as smartly as his younger brother, but minus the novelty tie. Anyone who studied medicine in Edinburgh would recognise this tie’s pattern. He clears his throat and looks directly into the camera.

“Only if you cease referring to me as Sir Timothy. I accepted my knighthood from the late Queen in recognition of my rewarding career as a GP and as an advocate of the NHS and Public Health. I am now retired from medicine. I do continue to campaign for justice for those who through negligence contracted Hepatitis C and the HIV virus as a result of blood transfusions. Compensation has still not been fully distributed and no UK public body has ever admitted responsibility. Therefore, my job is not yet done. So therefore, I’m just Tim.”

“That’s so well said, Sir Tim. And that seems to be a thread that runs through the Turner family. Generation after generation. Your father, the late Dr Patrick Turner who this medical practice is named in memory of, was an early advocate for the families affected by Thalidomide. As you have so rightly reminded us, you have spoken up for all those affected by the 20th century Factor 8 scandal. Your sister, Dr Angela Turner is a voice many will be familiar with on Women’s Hour on Radio 4 sharing her wealth of knowledge on the menopause and postnatal trauma. And of course our own Dr Teddy brought clarity and evidence based truths to our viewers during the recent Covid pandemic.”

For the first time they all look less assured, even Dr Teddy is lost for words. He and Angela both look towards their older brother.

“We’ve all been inspired by our parents. Dad was a great believer in medicine's ability to heal after witnessing the return of the injured as a child in Liverpool from 1914. He was able to compare those times to the wider use of antibiotics which he witnessed as an army medic during WWII. As a GP working through the 60s he saw, thanks to vaccination, the demise of TB and Polio both of which had previously left their scars on our family. The Thalidomide scandal was a heavy blow to recover from, for a GP who only wanted to prevent and ease suffering. Fortunately he  married Shelagh, who loved and believed in him completely." He nods towards the lady sat next to him.

"Through her religious background she understood the way ahead isn’t always clear or certain, She always used to quote St. Julian of Norwich to us as children, ‘He did not say you would not be assailed, you will not be laboured, you will not be disquieted, but he did say you will not be overcome.’ My father was not a religious man, but I believe he drew strength through my mothers steadfast faith in God, and even more so from her faith in him.”

“Thank you Sir...Tim. Well, I think that’s given us all a lot to think about as we go to another wee break.” 

Viewers who want to adopt a donkey are infuriated by adverts for Babysham, tinned spam and a Tiny Tears doll. 

 “Welcome back to Lorraine in Poplar.”    

“So here I am, sitting next to the mother of these fine boys and the gorgeous Dr Angela, Sister Shelagh Turner.”

 “Greetings”

A small woman with steel grey hair pulled into a tidy bun sits between Tim and Angela. She wears a tailored navy jacket with a delicate gold pearl and ruby brooch on the lapel. She holds her mug less furtively than her daughter and viewers can clearly read the words If In Doubt Just Ask Mum.

“From what I’ve been told by your son you qualified as a midwife in 1948.”

 “I did.”

“Dr Teddy, your mother is Scottish!” Lorraine cries in surprise, because obviously she hadn’t introduced herself to her guest before the show. “I can see we are going to get along quite famously. Can you tell me the changes you have seen over the last 75 years?”

“Oh my dear, you may have to cancel one of those shows that follows this one, about relocating abroad or selling something you found in an attic, for me to tell my story.”

Viewers are frantically trying to work out how old Shelagh Turner is as this indomitable lady cooly answers every question. She brings a sense of calm to the temporary studio, in a building she has been familiar with most of her life. If at that moment anyone asked Alexa or Siri to show them the meaning of professional they would instantly produce a picture of Shelagh Turner. 

“My mother died when I was young. I nursed her through her affliction, as I would my father too. I didn’t want to be a greengrocer, like my family before me. All I had ever done since being a small child was nurse. I knew no other life. So after my father died at the end of the war I headed to London. They were crying out for nurses and that is who I am.”

“The greatest change I’ve seen besides the obvious advances in technology, is the reliance on single use plastic. Nothing was disposable in my day, including syringes and enema tubes. Everything had to be autoclaved and reused. But technology has to be the most significant advancement in the day-to-day practice of nursing care. We didn't have machines to do the work for us. If someone was receiving blood or intravenous fluids, through a drip you understand, we had to calculate the drip-rate in our heads or on paper. Then we had to count the drips in the reservoir every 15 minutes to ensure it wasn’t going too fast or too slow. There weren't any machines beeping to alert us to problems.”

Angela, who had been quiet up until this point,just watching the whole shebang with the same amusement of someone not at the top table observing a bridesmaid with a nosebleed, chose this moment to interject.

“I think a lot of current nurses would be happy to get rid of those infernal bleeps.”

“I’m sure you are right, dearest. When I first qualified, the only machinery I was familiar with was the iron lung used to treat Polio patients..."

Below the lens two hands brush against each other.

“I remember it well.....” He says.

“Too true, dearest. It may now be antiquated and look barbaric but we were glad of it during the Christmas of 1958.”

“Did you have Polio as a child, S...Tim?” 

“I did, Lorraine. As Mum said, I ended up in hospital over Christmas when I was ten-years-old. My parents had to cancel their wedding.”

“Oh no! Deary me.”

The presenter appears to be lost for words. This part was obviously not rehearsed. Guest co-presenter Dr Teddy is of no help as he has the countenance of the youngest child, who is always in bother, becoming aware that his big brother is finally going to get it.

“I suppose that wouldn’t be considered very shocking or unusual these days. But just for the sake of propriety, Timothy’s father, Patrick, was a widower. Timothy sadly lost his mother to cancer a couple of years earlier. Another dreadful disease we have made great strides in treating in the last 75 years.”

“You and Dr Turner worked with the Nonnatus nuns, I'm led to believe. They may not be known to our wider audience, but are still very much remembered with affection and gratitude in Poplar, am I right?”

“I hope so, I would like to believe so. The Order of St Raymond Nonnatus trained as nurses and midwives in Euston, arriving in Poplar in 1899. Once the NHS formed, the nuns worked alongside state trained nurses and pupil midwives, most of whom lived in the convent originally based in Leyland Street. They moved to Wick Street in 1959, where they stayed until the late 70s. The Turner practice was always closely linked to Nonnatus. Patrick, my husband, unusually for the time, had a special interest in women’s health. It wasn’t like today, women were just expected ‘to shut up and put up’ as Sister Evangelina used to say. She was a rather bold nun who was always a little ahead of her time and not afraid of telling it like it is, or was.” 

Shelagh pauses for a moment as if she is recalling something she chooses not to share. Angela, sensing her mother’s brief loss in concentration, picks up the thread.

“There were more home births in those days. Mum and Dad ran what we would now call a mother and baby unit, but they were known as maternity homes. We are actually sitting in what was once a four bedded ward. The rest of the rooms were divided up to house our phlebotomy service and provide extra clinic space. One of the labour rooms we still use for minor surgery. Most health centres provide a particular service these days so there isn’t a doubling up of specialities. Patients will know they may be sent to a different centre than their own GPs surgery for let’s say, diabetic advice, heart monitoring, eye checks and podiatry. At Patrick Turner’s Health Hub we have continued my parents’ work. Focusing primarily on women’s health, neonatal care and respiratory conditions, something my parents as ex-smokers were very keen to learn more about and educate their patients.” 

“Sister Shelagh, you were a smoker? I am shocked to hear this.” Lorraine looks horrified, she appears so wholesome.

“Oh, everyone smoked during the war years and into the 60s. It was even thought to be good for you at one time, or so the tobacco companies wanted us to believe.”

Dr Teddy suddenly realises he hasn’t spoken in over ten minutes and is getting paid for this.

“You didn’t smoke when you were a nun though, did you Mum? I blame Dad, he was a bad influence. Tim told me he remembers him smoking in clinic." Before his mother's glare alone ruins his blossoming media career, Lorraine interupts.

“A nun!? You were one of the sisters, Shelagh?”

“Yes, I was, when I first arrived at Nonnatus in 1948, but not when I left in 1958. Obviously.”

“Obviously.” Lorraine is looking at all Shelagh's children seated around her. “Your children are giving all your secrets away today, Shelagh. I think Dr Teddy might end up on the naughty step when he gets home.”

“It was a long time ago and I learned everything I know working with the Order, especially from my dearest friend, Sister Julienne. But the last sixty years have been the happiest and most fulfilling of my life. And the majority of  them have been spent working within and for the NHS. And that’s why I’m here with you today.”

“Nice deflection back to our main topic today, Shelagh. Are you after my job? The producer in my ear has just asked me to not let you leave before I book you in for another show... on your own without your lovely family. Oh! I see.. before the Daily Mail gets to you first for your story, he‘s added. Don’t think that will be happening anytime soon, looking at the expression on Shelagh’s face.”

“We are off for another break now, viewers.”

Viewers wanting to take out an over 55s life insurance policy securing themselves a free pen are now on the phone to the TV regulator Ofcom in protest to advertisements for Brylcreem, old Spice and the Dandy and Beano.

“Welcome back. So, we are going to end today’s NHS75 special with a lovely gift for the Turner family. It’s the least we can do after all this family has done for us over the last 75 years. This is a complete surprise for the Turners. Not all of the Turner children are here today. Tim, Anglela and Teddy’s sister, May, is also in the family firm. She chose to follow in her mother’s footsteps. No! She is not a nun. But the Chief Nursing Officer in a hospital based in Hong Kong. When did you last see May, Shelagh?”

“Oh, it was before Covid, she was due to come home Christmas 2020 and couldn’t and she's been so busy she hasn’t been able to reschedule. She’s so dedicated.”

“Wonder where she gets that from?” Tim and Ted say in unison.

“I don’t like flying now at my age. Angela went out there last year, didn’t you, dear? They’ve always been very close.”

“Look up at the big screen on the wall, Shelagh.You won’t see a video about vaccination or what to do if you are having a stroke. But, who is this?”

The numbers for the surgery disappear from the screen and are replaced by the bright smile of a Chinese woman wearing a white silk blouse, giggling and shouting “now” repeatedly.

“Hello Mum, Hello Fam! How are you all? And how is dear old Poplar?”

The East London room is full of forcefully expired air and cries of “May”.

“I'm going to leave you all to chat privately, in a moment. But can I just ask, May? You grew up in Poplar, do you have good memories?”

“Oh, yes. I came from Hong Kong in 1963 and couldn’t speak a word of English. Patrick and Shelagh fostered me and eventually my birth mum gave permission for them to adopt me. Mother Mildred brought me and some other children, who were orphaned or estranged from their parents, to start new lives. But I remember Poplar with so much love; the sisters, Fred, Vi and Reggie who ran the corner shop. Darling Aunt Trixie and Jonty, my friend Colette and her mother, Nancy. Then there was Pastor Robinson. Too many to name.. Nurse Crane and Miss Higgins mustn't forget them. And lots of girls called Alison. I actually thought all English girls were called Alison for a while. I even thought about changing my name to Alison. Everyone was so welcoming and helped me feel right at home. It was just a shame about Teddy really.”

“Oh! That Turner sense of humour. I see it is intact over the miles. Angela is nodding her head in agreement with your remarks about your younger brother. I need to maybe have a few minutes chat with her in the Green Room after the show. You returned to Hong Kong, May, as a nurse. Can you tell us a wee bit about that?”

“Of course. As much as London will always be my home. I wanted to give something back to my place of birth. The reason Mother Mildred brought me to England was because there wasn’t provision for someone in my situation over here in the 1960s. I wanted to return and see what changes had been made and if I could contribute in any way. It also gave me a chance to meet my Chinese mother again and thank her for giving me the opportunities I had because of her sacrifices.”

“Did you get to spend much time with her, May?”

“Yes, I did. She passed away a few years ago. I got a chance to say goodbye and to be with her at the end of her life as she was at the beginning of mine.”

“That’s lovely May. I’m going to let you catch up with your family now. I’m sure your mum has a lot of questions for you to answer. Probably starting with when are you coming home? Thank you, May Turner.”

“And thank you to all my guests on this NHS 75th anniversary special. Thanks to all the Turners: Shelagh, Tim, Angela, May and our own Dr Teddy. I will be back tomorrow with more inane guests to chat with. Won’t be anywhere near as much fun as this, I promise you.”

The camera focuses on Dr Teddy Turner who is rubbing his right forefinger against his thumb.

"We will leave you with the words of the Health Secretary in 1948, Mr Nye Bevan."

"No society can call itself civilised if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means."

As the credits roll the camera moves to on an outside wall. It focuses a well polished brass plaque on which three lines are written.

KENILWORTH ROW MATERNITY HOME AND SURGERY DR. P. TURNER

"Here, here!" Is followed by cheers and clapping.

“Well that was the best episode of Lorraine I've ever skived off to, with a cuppa, in all my working days.”

“Flora, we are not skiving, we are socialising with the residents and attending to their recreational and creative needs.”

“You do have a way with words, our Ames. You applied to tech to do those exams you need, yet? You know the ones to get into Uni to do your nursing.”

“No, I haven’t. Stop nagging me. I’m not good with exams, Flo, you know that.”

“You’re very good with people though, Amy. More than good. And the kindest person I’ve ever met.”

“Counts for nothing Flora, you have to be one of those clever buggers to be a nurse these days. I’m happy here with my Grans until Aldi or some other supermarket makes me a better offer I can’t refuse.”

“Well. I’m going to keep nagging. But in the meantime, I Wouldn’t say no to Dr Teddy checking out my auld ticker with his stethoscope, one day.”

“Oh Flora, you are crude. His niece is my doctor. She’s brilliant, she really helped me out with that little problem I had.”

“Well, I could have helped you out with that, Amy. Change your washing powder or tell that man of yours to dip it in Domestos bleach before he comes near you next time.”

“Flora, you're shocking......are you alright, love?”

Amy notices tears streaming down their companion’s face, but her eyes remain bright and clear.

The young carer dabs those tears, “Magic hankie cures all. As my gran used to say.”

“Poor old love, probably brought back memories. Talking about them Nonnatuns,” Flora added. “You alright Sister? I know where there is a nice piece of Victoria Sponge with your name on it. Amy here will put the kettle on.”

“How old do you think she is?”

“Dunno. No one seems to know. No one knows how long she’s been here. Dangerous Dave says she made a deal with God to look after the people of Poplar for all eternity.

“You know Dangerous Dave talks bollocks, right?”

“I’m just saying what I heard. So about Dr Teddy, do you think he's on Tinder?”

“He’s sixty-years-old, Flora. Get a grip.”

As they leave to put the kettle on and cut the cake. The sound coming from the televison set suddenly increases.

[drrobobitch]

Can Luci and Yzma adopt Ray?? Little apprentice arc <3

OMGGG YESS OFCC💗!!

Ray would definitely need some tutoring on how to make her potions and stuff from luci and Yzma!!! Lesbian step mothers core tbbhhhh lmaooo

BUT YESS HOPE THE ADOPTION PAPERS ARE GONNA BE SIGNED SOON 👀‼️

(For anyone else interested my oc Ray can be found on here!! @pastelpousay 🐺🎀‼️)

[sinning-23]

Socket Wrench: Chapt. 4

so ladies and germssss this is the final chapter...uhhh I'm very much not 1000% happy with the end so I may end up tweaking it more. ANYWHO after this will be someeee oneshots so keep those eyes peeled! ENjoy btw!

Chapter 3 found here

Chapter 4: Shitty Finale

Your idea worked, the rocket managed to shoot out of the eel's mouth and head back in the direction of the Mushroom Kingdom. You were left gripping onto DK’s waist for dear life, his fur soft beneath your fingers as you buried your face into his back. 

“You alright back there?” He shouts, knowing that the height was somewhat bothering you based on how tightly you had him in a grip. He wasn't complaining though, he rather liked having you this close to him. 

“Just steer.” You groan, trying to distract yourself as the rocket whizzes past, various mushrooms beginning to show up on your path.

Bowser's castle was hovering now, the cloud of darkness it brought trying to spread. 

“So what’s the plan? Fly up there, kick-ass, and the day is saved?” You question, the silence following making your once jokey smile drop. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” You groan, preparing to jump from the rocket once you reached a good enough point above the debris.

 You manage to land almost slipping, but DK grabs your hand, pulling you forward. A flurry of blue flashes of light appears from the top of the floating structure. The princess must be fighting back like the bad bitch she is. You return your focus to the scene in front of you, various Koopa troops taking items from the kingdom, trying to store them for later.

Maybe it was time to put all that par core you did in high school to use. DK and Mario were already headed towards the soldiers, dodging attacks from shells all the while grabbing any power-ups they could find. You sprint forward, hopping up on one of the blocks, and using shells you grabbed to throw in any direction. 

“DK!” You call out, sliding under the mystery box two of the shoulders happened to be carrying, your legs beginning to burn. 

He turns his attention to you as you throw a power up to him, sending a wink his way before sliding into another tunnel. He chuckles, following your lead as Mario does the same. You pause, looking to see if the pair was following close behind and sure enough, they were. The next step was to get to the Princess. You hit one of the mystery boxes, eyes brightening at the power-up. 

You climb the chains latched to the kingdom's foundation, just barely making it to the top to see the Princess standing from the stairs, her power up now gone. You wave to her, running towards the mechanisms dropping what looked like dozens of prisoners into lava, you try pulling but it was no use. Finally following behind was DK and upon seeing you struggle DK quickly runs over trying to reverse the chains. 

You were able to grab each prisoner and melt the bars with the fire flower you’d scored, trying to work quickly at setting them free. Mario scooped up Luigi, and they share and embrace, happy to be united again. You climb back up to meet the group, the rest of the newly freed prisoners following you. 

And right when everything seemed to be fine, Bowser broke free of the ice he was trapped in, the single command he spoke launching a bomb into the air and setting direction for the Mushroom Kingdom. 

Mario follows it, trying his best to redirect its attention. Sure enough, the bomb is hot on Mario’s tail (literally) as he tries to guide it as far from the kingdom as possible. 

“What’s he doing?” You whisper out, seeing the bomb head straight for the tunnel where this mess has started. 

You walk forward a bit, DK only a few steps behind as you feel the world shake, a low rumble soon sounding into the aftershock of the bomb. You stumble a bit, falling to your knees, DK quickly finds himself hovering over you to try and keep you out of harms way. 

“Get down! We're getting sucked in!” You explain the gust of wind that began pulling the large mushrooms off the ground and into the void was beginning to do the same to Bowser’s Castle. 

You hold onto his arm, trying to figure out what the next step was. The pipe had sucked the remainder of the castle in, Brooklyn waiting patiently on the other side as you warp through it. In a flash of light, you were transported right back to where this had all started, the manhole right above The sewer system, or at least what was left of it. 

Rubble crushed cars and businesses to dust as streets were destroyed. The power star that Bowser had been holding onto was now begging for help from what could only be described as his henchman while the group was surrounded by Koopa troops, yourself included. 

“What do we do? I don't know what that star does and I’m not tryna find out either.” You whisper, still feeling DK close behind you. Speaking of which he hadn't left your side since before you left the Mushroom Kingdom. 

What was there even left to do? There was really no saving the situation and if Bowser really wanted to he could take over the city. Hell, he had gotten this far. Mario of course was taking the fall now, seeing how Bowser was on a rampage since his surprise wedding was ruined and his plan somewhat foiled.

This wasn't working in anyone's favor, Luigi now stepping in to try and save his brother. Maybe…. You glance at Peach who seemed like she was also trying to come up with a solution. You tap her shoulder, passing a nice-sized boulder and motioning to the star with your eyes. 

“Throw this as hard as you can, it should give them a chance to use it and turn this whole situation around.” You speak, just below a whisper. 

She nods, following your instruction as you push past the troops, using one of the shells discarded to launch the star even more forward towards the brothers. Bowser'sgaze is threatening, eyes glowing red as he grabs you by your shirt and throws you aside, the wind leaving your lungs as you gasp for air when you hit the rubble behind you.

It was instant when DK came to your aid, throwing a punch at Bowser while the brothers reached the power star.  Trying to get to you was easier said than done when Bowser had in him a chokehold as he struggled to break free. You try to stand again, wobbling at first but quickly letting your legs move on their own. You manage to grab what looked like part of a discarded pole and slam it into Bowser's stomach, making him flinch only slightly and drop DK.

 His attention was back on you and before you could dodge, another backhand sent you flying into a car. DK rushed to you, seeing you wince when he went to pull you up, the bruises and cuts over your body filling him with dread. Despite gaining these earlier in the beetle he still hates seeing you even mildly injured. 

“Are you okay?”He huffs, not sure where to put his hand as you wheeze out a groan, trying to get yourself steady. 

“Oh, yeah I just got thrown across the street, no biggie.” You try and joke, leaning against him to steady yourself. He's warm, and inviting even when he guides you closer to him. You can’t help but stare upward considering how much taller he was. 

“Thank you.” You hum breathlessly gaze trailing from his eyes, then to his lips, and back again.

“Wanna call it even?” He sighs in relief, at least you were conscious. Maybe a bit delirious but conscious. 

“What? For saving your ass from drowning earlier AND just now from getting choked out? No way baby.” You test, leaning more upward, a coy smile parting your lips. 

He chuckles a bit, swallowing hard at what you were trying to get at. This was hardly the time but he didn’t care. After fighting off this feeling for 3 days you knew you both needed some kind of confession. Something, anything, to break this growing tension. But before his lips could meet yours you press your finger to them, smirking. 

“Save it for after the fight, yeah? Then we’ll call it even.” You wink, slipping out of his grip to help fight. 

He went to reach for you but ended up joining you and fighting by your side, having your back when you were turned, and you do the same. There was a rhythm between the two of you, your punches being thrown just as he followed close behind, he pulls you from any attacks you may not be able to doge and you take the chance to save his ass when he was too busy saving yours.

The brothes on the other hand managed to land one final blow on Bowser as he was finally knocked down, captured by the princess, and placed into a jar, courtesy of a blue mushroom. The fight was over! You’d all won! 

The fight was over….

Your smile of relief and victory was replaced with a soft frown. DK of course was excited to soak up the attention, standing beside the Princess and the two brothers who were also celebrating. You decided to push that empty feeling aside and celebrate with them, taking a stance next to DK who smiles and throws his arm over your shoulder. 

“I know that look on your face, I told you that line was gonna become permanent.” He hums, stepping aside with you to talk, even if it meant just for a minute. 

You avoid his eyes, only to have him frown and turn your face to his gently. Well, you were home now, and at this point… the end goal was complete.

“Welcome to Brooklyn. Sorry, the reveal wasn’t under better circumstances.” You try joking, swallowing hard at his previous gesture. 

“Is that what really bothers you? How we got here? C’mon, I can see right through you.” He explains, arms folded now.

“I-I just ended up getting home faster than I thought. I don’t wanna leave you behind.” You whisper out, dread filling you as you realize that not only him but Peach too, would have to leave and go back to their realm. 

“Then come home with me…us. We can fix the pipe and you can just…I don’t know visit somehow.” He corrects, biting his lip as he gauges your reaction. 

“How would that even work DK? I have a business here and I worked my ass off for it but…”  Your eyes are beginning to burn now, one of the toughest decisions you’d have to make leading to you creeping closer and closer to tears.

“I can’t leave you behind…I can’t. I haven’t been on an adventure like that ever in my life. And I haven’t felt so comfortable around someone in so long and so fast. And don’t look at me like that either because you’re making it hard to say no. Shit dude, why did you have to make me like you so much!” You ramble, wiping your face as the frustration of the situation had made you cry.

He pauses for a bit, unsure as to what to do. He wasn't used to seeing people cry, especially not one that had managed to make him fall so hopelessly for them. He knew he didn't like it though, any of your current state. You're sad, stressed, beat up, and bruised. How could someone so sweet and witty feel so helpless…

“Hey hey, take a breath. We’ll figure it out! And everything will work out fine. Just, please don't cry.” He comforts you, giving you that goofy smile you loved. 

“This is so stupid.” You huff, letting your head fall onto his chest as he hesitates a bit to pull you into a secure hug. 

“No it's not, listen let's just get this figured out first, and then we can work on visiting, sound good?” He suggests, motioning to the damage from the battle that had taken place. 

___________________________________________________________

It had been about 6 months since your surprise adventure in the Mushroom and Jungle Kingdom. Bowser's castle was transported back to the Darklands through the tunnel where the whole mess started in the first place. Apparently, the tunnels had connected back to their paths between kingdoms and everything was somewhat restored.

Toads had managed to work together to clean up any other damage done and the city was good as new! Of course, the press had questions galore all of which were answered quickly and closed out to keep others from feeling as if they could just go back and forth between the two realms as they please

It's summer now, and the heat getting to you a bit as you tighten the nuts and bolts on the rims of the tires. This was the final step in your rebuild process, the rest of the vehicle looking almost identical to how it looked before. You step back admiring your work, mostly the painted lipstick print on the front left rim. 

“Good as new right?” You hum, falling back into DK’s arms as he smiles and presses a quick kiss to your lips. 

“It's perfect. Looks exactly like how it did before. You’re too good to me, how’d I get so lucky?” He questions, kissing you again, this time more playfully as he spins you in a hug. 

You only giggle in response, stretching a bit as he releases you from his grip. 

“I don't know you're just sooooo charming I couldn't help but fall for you.” You tease, placing the socket wrench you’d previously used back in its place.

Moving to the Jungle Kindom had to be one of the best decisions you'd made, and moving your business here was also on that list. Best of both worlds, fortunately. The transition wasn't the smoothest, but being here was bliss in its purest form.

The two of you weren’t exactly official but, you were definitely sticking to just each other. You both established the growing feeling between the two of you but never really addressed whether or not you were TOGETHER. It didn't matter though, you were happy,' and that's what did matter. 

Maybe one day youd be bold enough to pop the question but for now, this was perfect.

OKAY YAL THTS IT THATS ALL LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS IF YALLLLL WANT ANY OTHER X READERS OR HAVE ANY OTHER COMMENTSSS. LOVE YA AND THATS FOR READING!

[reisspieces]

im absolutely crying st the donkey tag for kai its so perfect yet funny because im so used to people spamming the goat emoji that when i saw the donkey one i did a double take 😭😭😭

PLEASE he’s my donkai so it’s only fitting 🫏

+ it also makes me laugh when I put it asffkkdj its just so silly 😭

[im-captain-basch]

DK is actually Cranky's grandson in the movie but he knows: 👍

DK is actually Cranky's grandson in the movie but he doesn't know: 🤨

Is... is it because DK refers to him as "dad"? I doubt that would change if DK found out as a teen or something, since in this scenario Cranky would be the only dad DK remembers, if not the only one he ever knew.

[iturbide]

Don't worry, they added "chores" you can have people do. Swimming/orchard work/horse care will help up supports pretty fast. Three things each time you do a battle map. Which means you can grind it out pretty fast just sparring for money.

@kiniism replied to your post:

i dont know exactly when it gets unlocked but you get a bunch of facilities (three different ones) that will raise support between two characters you select! that was my main go-to for boosts, and my sommie always gets stuck everywhere tOO

that's such a relief because I think I fell off after Chapter...19? I definitely remember Chapter 19 because I was getting thrashed trying not to let anyone get knocked out of the fight, I had to rewind so much.

(And considering how many skirmishes I do while trying to hunt rare animals I suspect that I will be partaking in those chores...a Lot.)

[yo9urt]

horse!!!!!!

[thereweredragonshere]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Gobber must be so fucking fed up with Hiccup and Stoick at all times. Like he grew up with Stoick being a stubborn ass and then Stoick had a child who grew up and is also a stubborn ass.

I cannot imagine having to deal with one Haddock let alone two. Especially httyd1 era where they could barely even be in the same room as each other without there being audible cricket noises oh my fucking god. He would have been a permanent mediator between the two. Constantly listening to them complain about eachother (Which we do actually see in httyd1 funnily enough).

Them two actually beginning to fix their relationship after the red death must have been so great for him. Because yes his best friend and his sort of adoptive son thing are now actually engaging in healthy father son activities with one another but he also no longer has to deal with being sandwiched between two fucking donkeys that can't properly communicate.

But hahaha Gobber your torment doesn't end there. No no no you then have to deal with two of the most dramatic people in the archipelago (why does no one mention how dramatic Stoick is???) constantly wittering in your ear about different plans or inventions or wars and dragons and blah blah blah. You can never escape the incessant rambling of the two idiots you got cast to hell with. You will be forced to listen to a father and son that don't see any reasonable value in agreeing about things like 34% of the time and you will have to either pick a side or attempt to deescalate the awkward glances and frustrated sighs when they are forced to be around each other after a particularly bad episode of being unable to affectively have a conversation about their thoughts and feelings because they're both emotionally repressed and could both use some therapy.

Gobber has seen every single side of the relationship between Hiccup and Stoick and the whiplash from witnessing a heated argument about the meaning of existence itself in the morning and then watching as they joke and laugh about some random crap literally no one understands in the evening will probably end up breaking Gobber's psyche at some point.

That man's life was pain and suffering incarnate and it was purely the fault of the Haddock family.

[warmilikeit]

Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)

DC x Pjo

I got this idea from another Tumblr post and I'm pretty new so, ion know how to tag and stuff, pls tell me

______________

"So... My mom just disappeared?" A little 6 year old (Name) asks Alfred about her mom

Alfred turned back like he was reminiscing "The Gala was for three nights, the first night she mesmerized all, the second night she befriended everyone, the third night she slept with your father"

.....

"then she disappeared, then you were dropped on our little doorstep! We were skeptical at first then we DNA tested you, you're Bruce's kid so you are the Wayne Manor's baby! And you and your Daddy are one big happy family"

That was lie. That a big lie

You know Alfred was just trying to make you feel better

It wasn't working.

________________________

You feel like shit, they look so fucking happy, for years and years have passed, your 12 now for God sake

Every year a new family photo was taken and as the years pass more and more people are added to the photos

And the phrase "the more the merrier was always said to you" like they were trying to drill it into your head, but it seemed like every year, you were being pushed farther and farther back into the photos till you're barely noticeable

It sucks at home and it sucks at school, at home at least you only had Damian to worry about, he would torture and bully you, remind you of how unloved and unwanted you were here, but at school?

It was everyone.

It doesn't help how you're unable to focus that much either, always getting called by teachers when you're not paying attention, and then them ridiculing you

Also, with the fact that your entire family are vigilantes except you.

Except you, you tried, and you were good at it, the problem was, why did it seem like a lot of villains were after you

So you were stuck at the manor

"hello" a woman inside the Manor spoke

This shocked you, she looked too old to be another kid adopted by that... But you can't be too sure

"new kid?" You asked

She seemed taken aback, but then it was like a veil was lifted and she transformed into this ew

Wtf did she just turn into?

Suddenly she had this donkey leg and snake tongue and fire for hair, her eyes slit and she hissed at you

Then she attacked

"OH WHAT THE FUCK"

With no weapon and no Alfred in hand, you ran

She ran after you and lit the hallways on fire in the process

You ran fast and far, to the outskirts of the mansion and straight into the garden, now when you thought your day could not get ANYMORE weirder, a voice calls out in the bushes

"I knew it! I knew you were a half-blood!I wasn't sure, but now I am!" You turn around and see a full ass tree transform into a beautiful lady

You're sure that Gotham Prep once talked about the side effects of drugs, and even if you haven't taken any drugs, you feel the side effects

"don't be scared, I'm a nymph! Me and my friends will help you run away from the empousa!" She grabbed me and threw me in the lake

A hand grabs you and pulls you further underwater, as much as you struggled, the hand kept pulling you and pulling you till your deep and then changed direction

Like you guys were heading somewhere, it felt like days, the hands alternating, first hands were blue and the lady whom the hands belonged too sounded worried, second hands were green, the lady was surprised

Third hand was light bluish purple, she expressed concern and kept pulling

The last hand was of human skin tone, pulling you up to shore

"Sir Chiron! There's a camper! The Naiads bought her here! Sir Chiron!"

He turns to look at you a bit worried, he looked from 13-14

He said "My name is Percy Jackson, and yours?"

_________________

Empousa: haha an unsuspecting demigod!

(Name) thinking that Bruce adopted another one: new kid?

Empousa: :o

_______________

Who do y'all think (Name)'s mom is?

Also the lack of Batfam dialogue is meant to represent their neglectful behavior, too bad their not gonna have a kid to return to

[martinakl13]

I think a lot about what the way they talk can tell us about our Crows. For example, interjections.

Unsurprisingly, Nina and Inej use all variants with Saints (Saints; All Saints; For Saints' sake) and Wylan uses Ghezen (Ghezen; Ghezen and his works). Matthias of course has Djel (Djel; Sweet Djel; For Djel's sake).

Now comes the interesting part. Jesper uses Saints, many times in his own creative way (Saints; All Saints; For Saints' sake; All Saints and your Aunt Eve; All Saints and the donkeys they rode in on) and (!) he also uses Ghezen (Sweet Ghezen). It's quite obvious that Jesper adopted Ghezen during his long stay in Ketterdam, but since he uses Saints much more often, it seems like something he got from his father as a child, since Colm also said many similar things in CK (All Saints; Saints; For Saints' sake). Do they recognise Saints on Wandering Isle? Probably.

And then there's Kaz. What do you think of his interjections? Have you noticed or thought about it? Kaz out loud never used any! Not Ghezen, not Saints, not Djel. There is only one exception where the interjection was part of his inner monologue.

Chapter 3, SoC:

"As Kaz headed down one of the little canals that would take him past Fifth Harbour, he realised he felt – Saints, he almost felt hopeful."

Oh yes, Kaz in his head when no one could hear him automatically used Saints and it wasn't because he wanted to mentally tease Inej about her Saints. I think the moment he felt almost hope, something from his past slipped out of the dark parts of his mind where he buried everything related to his family. Do we know for sure that Ghezen is the only god the Kerch people know? What about people from the countryside? Do they honour the god of industry, commerce and trade, or someone else who is closer to them? Who remembers where Marya Hendriks was kept? The Church of Saint Hilde. In addition, we also know two Kerch saints, Sankta Margaretha and Sankt Emerens. Coincidence? I don't think so.

[junespriince]

Wally: I sit here today because my uncle retired and you guys just dragged me in here, I didn't have a choice. I was working my own city, the Titans, and sometimes helped other heroes and now I have to work here and come to almost daily meetings? How can I get fired? Can marrying your son in Vegas make you let me leave? I want out of this.

Bruce: the dimension overlord said you must be here, we need a speedster or balance will be distributed.

Wally: how about you disturb deez nuts old man. I don't give two donkeys pucks about this "balance" when I'm forced to look at my two biggest enemies all day.

Oliver: I know Barry raised you, but could you have manners kid?

Wally: can you stop getting pegged by my therapist?

Oliver, blushing as if the league doesn't already know this:

Wally: no? Okay, then shut up.

Bruce: this is a bit excessive, West.

Wally: says the guy who fights his ex father in law/enemy shirtless. I don't know about you, but if my son grandfather challenged me to a duel the shirt stays on.

Bruce: how?

Wally: what does "dating your son" mean to you? Self proclaimed greatest detective over here lady and gents, give him some applause for being stupid. Though, with all the smart women you attracted I guess it has it charms to a certain group.

Clark: a lot of sass today, huh?

Wally: and rightly so Mr. Kent—

Clark: kid, you've known me for years and marrying my kid, it's uncle Clark now.

Wally: sir, I was raised my a Midwestern woman, it's sir, ma'am, and whatnot, deal with it. Anyways, it's rightly deserved, I'm losing a lot of precious time spending it here because Gotham's playboy bicycle decided now he'll have a standard and not fix this problem by helping the dimensions asshat get laid. Do you understand how much this cut into my personal life outside of heroing, Bruce?

Bruce: well—

Wally: shut up sir, you don't because unlike you I don't have a son I was blackmailed into adopting that can run the business, no, I'm an average man here working a real job, and trying to make time for my boyfriend. We get it, you're an emo furry with a tragic backstory that makes it hard to emote, well bucko guess what, I had shitty parents, uncle Hal thinks I have no friends, and what else... OH yeah! I was stuck in the speed force trying to get out and everyone I loved stop trying to save me and assumed I was dead. So, fire me!

Bruce, and his ego™: no. Balance needs to be kept.

Wally: I will make you regret this choice.

Both of them glaring at each other:

Diana: well, at least meetings will be interesting.

Hal: in my defense you didn't have friends over when I visited so how was i supposed to know...

Oliver: didn't Barry told you one time to come because Wally was at my house having a sleepover with Roy?

Hal: ... Okay I'mma be so real right now, I heard come over and the rest was white noise.

Wally: ew. I'm right here.

Hal: kid, hush, the adults are talking.

Wally: ... I'm 29, dude bye. I'm done with this. *Gets up and leaves*

Arthur: he has grown up so much.

Bruce, who knows Wally at his worst teen years: yeah, he's gotten worse.

Oliver: so about this fighting shirtless with your ex father in law.

Bruce: so about you getting pegged by our therapist.

Oliver:

Bruce:

Oliver: I hate you.

Bruce: yeah, yeah, love you too idiot.

[xoxobuckybarnes]

August 2024 Reading List

Complete

War & Peace and the Redemption of Bucky Barnes (Rated: E, Words: 51K) by ThePirateStorm / @fsbc-librarian

Summary: Bucky Barnes is running from his problems. He’s housesitting for his best friend while she’s on her honeymoon - the almost a year prior that he’s been staying in her house doesn’t count - when he’s woken in the middle of the night by an angel and a demon. Okay, maybe they’re not a literal angel and demon, but Steve Rogers *looks* like an angel, and his daughter Charli certainly *acts* like a demon. The father/daughter duo are running from their own problems, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t crash headlong into one another’s lives. Throw in a cursed book for good measure, and it’s about to get a whole lot more interesting.

Sleep, Baby (Rated: E, Words: 4K) by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy (hutchabelle)

Summary: Have a baby, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. And it is, but it’s also the most bone-crushingly tiring thing in the world. Bucky needs a nap, coffee, and sex, but his baby WILL NOT SLEEP! He should have known his husband always has a plan, especially on Valentine's Day. Written for the Hell Yeah Bottom Bucky Valentines Exchange.

Winter's Children (Rated: E, Words: 66K) by Neery

Summary: When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves. And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

tin cans with string (Rated: T, Words: 22K) by Somanywords / @somanywords

Summary: Bucky’s mother was looking at him knowingly, and she pulled out a chair for him, which he climbed into gratefully. “You’re an only child, aren’t you, Steve?” “Yes Ma’am.” “It ever gets to be too much for you, you just excuse yourself and come sit in the kitchen a minute. It’s a little noisy with the baby at times, but other than that you can catch a breath.” Steve looked up at her gratefully. She understood, and having someone understand was the best thing in the world. --an exploration of mothers, and of one that isn’t yours.

Where You Lead, I Will Follow (Rated: T, Words: 11K) by attackofthezee (noxlunate)

Summary: When Steve was sixteen years old Peggy Carter had placed a tiny, blonde six pound, three ounce bundle into Steve’s arms. She’d kissed the top of Carter’s head, kissed Steve’s cheek and said “I can’t do this.” with such strength and conviction that Steve hadn’t even questioned her. “I know.” Steve had said, shifting Carter to rest against his chest, a hand on her bottom and the other cupping her tiny, soft head. “But I can.” AKA it's a Gilmore Girls AU and Steve loves his kid, Bucky, Stars Hollow, and coffee. In that order.

Seahorses (Rated: E, Words: 31K) by poppyfields13 & tinzelda

Summary: Now that Bucky’s taken over the role of Captain America, Steve feels like it’s finally the time to start a family. Bucky doesn’t know what to feel when Steve breaks the news he’s going to adopt a baby. He wants Steve to be happy, but he’s worried it will affect their friendship. Once Steve becomes a dad though, Bucky can’t help falling in love with the baby. And maybe Steve will finally see Bucky in a different light.

Loves Me Like A Rock (Rated: T, Words: 4K) by musette22 / @musette22

Summary: “You’re not that bad, Steve,” Sarah reassures him, though she can’t be entirely sure. “I’m sure you must’ve gotten a little better at flirting since your high school days?” Steve makes a face. “What on earth would give you that idea?” “Well,” Sarah says, reaching over to give Steve's hand a consoling pat, “you have other qualities, my darling.” “Such as?” “You could out-stubborn a donkey,” she answers, without missing a beat. “You’ve got a decent singing voice, too. Dogs love you.” Steve huffs. “Gee, thanks, ma. That's really helpful.”

A Wedding to Remember (Rated: E, Words: 19K) by SucculentHyena

Summary: It’s Becca’s wedding, her happiest day. Bucky just wants it to go as planned. And it does! Repeatedly.

Five Times Bucky Modelled For Steve (Rated: T, Words: 8K) by Selenay

Summary: The first time Steve drew Bucky, he had purple hair like something out of a cartoon. "I don't have a brown," Steve said when he got to Bucky's hair. "Sorry. It got broken."

sharing beds like little kids (Rated: M, Words: 17K) by tesselated

Summary: Steve and Bucky are childhood best friends who get separated when they're thirteen and Steve moves away. Five years later, they see each other at a party. ++ It seemed to Bucky that there had to be a certain all-encompassing awkwardness in going up to the guy you loved best when you were twelve and saying “Hey buddy, remember me?”

Love Thy Neighbor (Rated: M, Words: 7K) by hermionesmydawg / @anthonystan

Summary: Bucky Barnes has a few problems with his new neighbor: 1. He's hot 2. He's loud 3. He might be a secret superhero

if your heart's still open (Rated: E, Words: 8K) by steveandbucky

Summary: “What’s wrong, Buck?” “You really gotta ask that?” “Yeah, I do.” Steve clenches his jaw. “You were the one who ended things.”

WIP

Gold Must Be Tried By Fire (Rated: M, Current Words: 28K) by lavenderpanic / @lavenderpanic

Summary: The pamphlets about escaping abuse always glossed over this part, and Bucky finally understands why. Nobody would fucking leave if they knew how hard recovery would be. In the midst of a trial that questions every hard-won truth out of Bucky’s mouth, can he possibly allow himself to heal- physically and mentally? **Sequel to I Am Ash From Your Fire**

The Life of Jamie Barnes (Rated: M, Current Words: 9K) by deadto27 / @deadto27

Summary: The continuing adventures of Steve, Bucky and baby James from the Heart of Mine series through the years.

Rereads

Nothing Good Ever Happens on a Tuesday (Rated: T, Words: 28K) by megs_bee

Summary: Recently discharged soldier James Barnes is back in Brooklyn, down an arm and missing five years of memories, but he’s got his PTSD mostly under control, a fancy metal prosthetic, and what’s starting to feel like it could be a half-decent life. What he doesn’t have is any memory of the kid looking at James and asking him, “Are you my daddy?” -- or the gorgeous blond guy standing next to her. Steve Rogers lost his best friend Bucky five years ago, with no warning and no answers when he tried to find out what happened. So it was one hell of a surprise to walk into the grocery store one afternoon and come face to face with the man he thought was dead.

Prince Charming (Rated: E, Words: 55K) by Brenda / @brendaonao3

Summary: Bucky Barnes leads quite the charmed life. He has a thriving tattoo shop, a son he adores, the world’s best dogs, and a great group of friends — almost all of whom are in relationships. And maybe he'd been the one nudging them towards each other, but there's nothing wrong with a little match-making. The world could use more romance. As for him personally, well, he doesn’t need anyone for the long haul. Not when every girl he meets is someone who he thinks would be perfect for someone else. But then Steve Rogers comes into his shop looking for some ink, and maybe that’s the problem right there. Maybe what he's looking for in a relationship isn't a girl at all.

[vavoom-sorted-art]

Of Kings And Kids: Chapter two!

@gaiaseyes451 and me present: Chapter 2 is live on Ao3!

A little excerpt from Chapter 2:

Crowley's eyes were determinedly fixed on the road below as he sipped the wine. “That them?”

Aziraphale followed his gaze and spotted figures on the road, approaching the town’s entrance. A young man was leading a donkey at a gentle pace, he was tall but slight and wore the plain roughspun garments of a tradesman. The animal, burdened with the standard saddlebags, was also carrying a young woman, even from this distance she was visibly pregnant and swayed with the donkey’s movements.

A quiet fell over them, the playfulness of the moment had passed. ”Yes, that’s them.”

“Look pretty normal to me.”

Aziraphale nodded, “that’s part of the point, I think. Humble beginnings, nothing outwardly to indicate they’re particularly special.”

“Then why them? What’s so special?”

Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s eyes on him but he continued watching the party’s slow progress toward town. “Well, they fulfill the prophecy that the Messiah will come from the line of King David. They’re both descendents – distant cousins, not that it matters, in this case. She – Mary – is pure of heart and deeply faithful. Joseph understands his role, the importance of the child he will adopt.”

“Hardly seems fair,” Crowley gruffed.

“In what way? She is showing them tremendous favor. Entrusting them with Her only son, to be the Earthly guardians of the Messiah.” Aziraphale’s voice was steady but it lost some of its conviction as he met Crowley’s gaze. “They are the most favored humans to have ever lived – who will ever live.”

“Sure, they’re favored. But…but, they’re people. Humans.” His voice was intense even though it was barely above a whisper. “Musta had some idea for their lives, some hope for what it’d be like, being married, being parents. Now what? Caught up in Her plan, but what about theirs? And the kid, his entire purpose is set before he’s even born!”

This wasn’t the first time Crowley had questioned Her plan to Aziraphale; he knew his answer would be wholly insufficient. “It’s ineffable.”

The demon snorted. “It’s unfair.”

The sun was sinking into the late afternoon as they watched Mary and Joseph finally arrive in Bethlehem

*~*~*

Read the full chapter on Ao3

Find all related posts here.

[kaq3yma]

𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐘'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 featuring michael kaiser

syn: soft launched on instagram by the infamous prodigy

⸻ cw: slight languages, instagram au, and very short

qeena's brief note: qeena trying an instagram au with kaiser after a whole year not making it?!! 😱 ik it's super short but tumblr won't allow more ten pictures soo i guess i'll have to deal with that for now and so sorry for the pictures, theyre like the best i could find (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ but how about a part two??? i might consider it, i might not lol idk buttt... i guess that's all for now keehee ! tell me how you feel about this one, whether or not should i continue making similar fics like this 🤔 thank you everyone, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 🩷💚

yourusername

❤️ 143 💬 12 🚀

Liked by thatgerman.prodigy and others

yourusername my long-awaited princess treatment 💖👸

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yourfriend me when

yourusername replies sooooonn 🤭

thatgerman.prodigy truly deserved

yourusername replies 💋💋💋

michael_k_fanpage

🤍 74.2K 💬 1,548 🚀 211

michael_k_fans michael kaiser was seen last night hugging with a mysterious woman. Could it be that this unknown woman is the prodigy's plus one?

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fan1 we don't know yet, it could be his mom or his sister lol

fan5 replies no shi, his mom not in the pic no more and he's an only child 💀

fan2 ITS SOOO OBVIOUS 😭😭😭 naur my heart is breakingg

fan3 that's me yall fr 💯😎

fan6 replies u wish

fan7 replies delulu is not always the solulu

fan4 if you look at it carefully, u can see me crying on the corner

mchl.kser ☑️

❤️ 1.6M 💬 52.9K 🚀 142K

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mchl.kser well fuck it, ive been wanting to soft launch anyway @yourusername ssup mama 😍

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yourusername hiya!

fan1 replies HELLOOOOO

fan2 replies why is ur acc private 😓

fan15 replies to fan2 cus mind yo own business, that's why

fan3 replies TELL ME HOW U PULL THE KAISER BRO (no actually tell me how kaiser pull THE YOU)

fan15 replies she's living the life wanted by million kaiser glazer 😵‍💫💯🙏🏻🔥

fan192 replies adopt me pls im an aspiring model in dress to impress 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

"Micha, why the hell you tagged me for bro?!" The weird-haircut boy snickers in amusement, continue typing away on his phone with a huge grin on his face "Shuddup, donkey. I got lots of comments here telling me I'm a lucky man." You thrash yourself beside him on the bed, grunting loudly.

"You are a dork. I got so many friends request and what am I supposed to do about that?" He throw his phone down, spreading his arms to put them around your waist to tug you close "You can make another account like I do. It's not that hard, liebling." You push his face off, murmuring incoherent words beneath your breaths "Idiot. This wouldn't happen if you hadn't tag me at all in the first place." He laughs, grabbing you back to put you beside him on the bed.

"Come on, it's fine right? You're not mad at me are you?" You sighed, not bothered to argue anymore and just lie down beside him.

"du bist süß, schatz..."

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 is open. all rights reserved goes to @kaq3yma on tumblr.

[luna-desert]

i take notes text:

Let's design a house for 100 million slug pups, So after Five Pebbles fixed up the super structure he struck gold, adopted an exploding slug cat and cleared out the metropolis, life was awesome. Then his slug cat gave birth to 100 million slug pups all at once. The room was way too small. No problem for five pebbles though. He used his secret animal technique, with one powerful move he expanded the entire floor, borrowed 500 square meters from the neighbor Looks To The Moon, and then set up like this. Lay down the eco friendly wooden floor tiles and install slime mold and gooieduck on the ceiling to brighten up the room. He dug round holes on each floor of the exterior wall and installed extra small pin holes to keep the air fresh and let the slug pups in. Then he used tons of galvanized square steel to weld one billion bed frames, covering them with eco friendly wood veneers that are durable for 100 cycles. He borrowed a million clumps of moss from his neighbor Looks To The Moons super structure, so each of the million slug pups has their own separate bed. Now the slug pups are separated and dont make any noise. They even sleep smelling like nothing at night. He didn't waste any space under the beds either. Five Pebbles installed long drawers small enough for all the slug pups pearls and baby rattle toys. The newly welded and covered eco friendly floor slab is beautiful, strong, and sturdy. Between floors he installed cages full of lizards and scavengers for entertainment. Big investments bring high returns, and the focus is on the billion slug pups. Going up and down the walls is now easier and more convenient. Forget traditional den entrances, they're too easy for naughty slug pups to kick open. Instead he installed heavy titanium alloy doors that even a miros vultures blast cant dent. To top it off, five pebbles installed a set of access controls at the door with facial recognition its safer for the slug pups to enter and exit ensuring no smelly scavengers sneak in. Five Pebble added a few more galvanized square steel beams on the wall and set up filled with snacks that slug pups love encouraging them to develop the good habit of hunting every day. And a wet pond to play in borrowed from Looks To The Moon. In the middle he placed a large statue of the ancients for the slug pups to worship daily. Inspiring dreams of karma and ascending. This is how little Pebble organized his home comfortably accommodating 1 billion slug pups. More slug cats more joy more happiness and fewer worries.

[sweet-honey-tears]

If They Where Dads

Fluff head cannons! 🤍

Gender neutral reader. Kinda sounds like reader gave births but I kinda figured it’s either adoption or a quirk that can combine dna. Idk.

Feel free to leave request for other characters!

Daycare pick up head cannon

Aged up of course!!

💥Katsuki Bakugou💥

“She's beautiful”

“Daddy’s gonna buy you the fucking world.”

Big red eyes stared back as tiny hands gripped scared calloused fingers.

He would teach his kids sign language incase he ever does lose his hearing.

Is the type of dad that just carries the baby because fuck the stroller and shit- he’s a walking one that can also rock the little monster to sleep.

Will call the baby ‘Mini SpitFire’ and ‘Adorable Monster’(better than dumbass)

Will sign his daughter(and future kid- aka his baby boy) up for karate

And if his kid doesn’t have a quirk, he’s going to sign them up for a bunch of self-defense classes. He wants to protect them from people like him growing up.

Your phone Lock Screen is a picture of your toddler mid-sprint to the door as Katsuki is crouched with arms wide open. He had just gotten off a patrol, his hair mused and masked pushed up. His gauntlets pushed to the side. His face was dirty and stained. But his smile was huge and little tears are in his eyes from seeing his little mini spitfire come running to him.

“Don’t post that”

“But Kat-“

“No”

Can't let the public know king explosion murder is a big old softy. No, that is only for his family.

🦈Eijiro Kirishima🦈

Dude freaked out when he found out it’s gonna be twins- girls a matter of fact’ As babies, he’d put them in little shark onesies and then put on his own.

Your Lock Screen is a picture of your two beautiful twin girls in these little onesies and your Home Screen is Pro Hero Red Riot in a large Great White Shark onesie holding his two lovely(in shark onesies) twin girls in each of his arms. A big, proud, sharp smile stretched on his face.

He is the kind of dad to strap one of the girls to his chest, the other girl you have strapped to yours. There is totally a picture on the fridge of you two like that.

Would call his girls:

“Little riot, stop pulling your sister's hair!”

“Sharky, you shouldn’t be up there!”

The girls will call you Mama Papa, or Sharky Shark. (So- MommaShark! SharkyShary or ShaSha!) They call Kiri Daddy Shark.

The girls have shark plushies, cat ones, and so many plushies! One of the girls’ favorites, when they were toddlers, was a Red Riot plush. They’d hold it so damn tight whenever Kiri had to leave on a long mission.

They call the Bakuquad the following when they are very young:

Uncle Bak-uh-dough

Unky Serooooo

Aunty Mina

Unk Donkey or Denks (purely because Denki will make a goofy face when they say it)

Also, I think Testu would still pop by and the girl would call him Test.

⚡️Denki⚡️

Would freak the fuck out when he finds out but also be so excited

Will call the baby “Sparky!” And bakugou will say it sounds like you're calling a dog-

⚡️“ but you use to call me stuff like that-“

“Yeah I know”

⚡️“ but you said it sounds like a dog-“

“Yup”

Bakuogou felt a light hit to the back of his head. You walk past him while holding your/Denki’s baby. He just laughs. What? You’d think he’d do or say something to a woman holding a baby. Fuck no.

There’s a picture on your phone of Denki holding your baby, who is fast asleep, with rubber gloves on his hands. He’s being incredibly careful now. Wearing rubber gloves to ensure he never accidentally sparks the baby. He keeps getting excited every time he sees you two. That’s your Home Screen FWI.

The baby does have a Pikachu onesie. And a hat with the ear sticking up. As well as a Pokeball pillow(Mina got them for Christmas)

I feel like Shinso stops over a lot too. Like these guys are really good friends in the future.

“Uncle Shin!”

“Hey there Spark” he would totally gift the baby little cat stuffed animals and cat hairpins.

▪️🔸Sero🔸▪️

Sero would be surprised but stay chill.

Sero would call his baby girl:

“Hermosa (beautiful) you gotta wake up. We have to get ready for school”

Would teach his daughter Spanish(assuming you also know it too)

The girl's room is decorated with plants and cute food tapestries. There would definitely be one of those egg nest swings in the room(the ones above ground and hanging from the wall). He would hold the baby and rock them to sleep in it.

I feel like the baby would have a really cute, soft, cartoon ‘spider’ plush. But it’s not even really a spider- but a blob with a ‘:3’ face and eight legs. Totally has cat ears. Sero found it one day and was like ‘yup, that’s coming home’.

You couldn’t stop laughing when you saw it, you frickin love it.

Sero brings home the cutest but most random stuffed animals and toys. Ones that are just funny and adorable but make no fucking sense.

At an older age, Sero would definitely play with his daughter via his quirk. Your lock Screen is a picture of your daughter hanging upside down, her ‘spider’ plush hanging in her hand.