#kaiser bllk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ryuzakistoe · 1 month ago

Text

Conflicted (Michael Kaiser x Fem!reader)

angst, fem!reader, arguing, and uhhh basically all angst, childhood friends, swearing

a/n: after this I honestly have no idea who to do next. I'm kinda in between Isagi again or someone else🤷‍♀️

I also got this as inspiration

BTW IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE

(omg I finally got it to work omg)

——

Experiencing someone you love deeply suddenly transform into a stranger can feel like the ground has fallen away beneath you. The trust you placed in them, the cherished memories, the laughter shared—all of it can vanish in an instant, leaving you grappling with an unbearable emptiness.

In the face of such devastation, some cling desperately to hope, convinced that the past can be reclaimed. They construct fragile illusions to shield themselves from the harsh truth, believing that everything will somehow return to the way it was. But these comforting lies only deepen the wounds, which lie temporarily closed, waiting to reopen with even more agony.

How long could you endure this torment? Some carry this weight for a lifetime, while others crumble under the pressure far too soon. For you, how long will you hold on, waiting for that moment when you perhaps see him again? How long until the heaviness of his “explanation” crushes you? In the end, when the truth finally pierces through the lies you've built around your heart, how will you cope with the devastation and lies?

Thats up to you.

…🥀…

Frequent moves were a normal part of your life, given that your father, a businessman, was always busy either supporting or establishing new companies. Over time, you became accustomed to the constant change, no longer feeling as upset or frustrated about leaving behind new memories and friends.

With your mother having sadly passed away, your father was the only family you had. However, his demanding schedule often kept him away, leaving you with too much free time. You would often wander aimlessly, your father always worrying since you were still so young.

One day, during one of these aimless walks, you noticed a boy around your age dressed in dusty, worn clothes, playing with an old, worn out soccer ball. You found yourself standing there, captivated, as he skillfully shifted the ball from one foot to the other. The fluid motion of his dribbling drew you in, sparking a sense of fascination.

Eventually, the boy noticed your quiet admiration.

"Can I help you, gnädige Frau?" he asked, his thick German accent coloring his voice as he stopped the ball under his foot.

Since arriving in Germany a few months ago, you had made steady progress with the language. Your father insisted you familiarize yourself with the formalities and learn a good number of words, as speaking German would be essential for getting by.

"I was just watching you play," you replied, mirroring his language and matching the casual energy in his tone.

He regarded you for a moment, as though sizing you up, before speaking again. "Do you know how to play? Fußball, meine ich," he said, his expression unreadable.

You hesitated briefly. While you were familiar with the basics and rules of football, you'd never actually played it. Your most significant experience with the sport had been attending a game with your cousin—an exciting memory, but that was as far as it went.

"I'm not sure how to play, but I understand the basics and the rules," you admitted, glancing briefly at the soccer ball.

"Only the basics, huh?" he murmured, flicking the ball up with the same foot that had held it steady. It flew in the air before dropping neatly into his arms.

The blonde boy began to walk toward you, his gaze fixed on you the entire time. Stopping just a few feet away, he asked, "What's your name?"

"Y/n L/n," you answered softly.

"Y/n L/n…" he echoed, as if testing the sound of your name on his tongue. His eyes drifted to the side, and he repeated your name again, his tone thoughtful, as though trying to commit it to memory or decipher some hidden meaning within it.

“And what's your name?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at his peculiar behavior.

The blonde boy seemed to snap out of his thoughts, his eyes meeting yours again. "Michael Kaiser," he replied.

Without warning, he tossed the ball toward you, giving you no time to react. It landed between your feet, and you glanced down at it slowly.

"Kick the ball," he instructed.

You looked back up at Kaiser, processing his words. Kick the ball? That sounded simple enough. You positioned your foot carefully, recalling how professional players did it, and swung your leg forward.

The ball rolled back to Kaiser with surprising smoothness, considering you had little experience with football.

Catching it effortlessly with his foot, Kaiser smirked. "Not bad for someone who doesn't know how to play," he remarked.

You weren’t sure if he was being genuine or just mocking you. "Thanks," you mumbled quietly, watching as he shuffled the ball between his feet.

He suddenly paused, then said something that caught you off guard. "Play with me."

You raised an eyebrow. "But I told you, I don’t really know how to play."

"I'll teach you," he responded almost instantly, his tone carrying a hint of urgency. There was a longing in his voice, and you could understand why. It had clearly been a while since he'd had anyone to play with.

Kaiser was always alone. The other kids avoided him, seeing him as an oddball because of his scruffy clothes, unkempt hair, and the bruises that covered him—marks left by his father. They treated him like an outcast, believing there was something wrong with him.

While they ignored him, Kaiser watched from a distance, wishing he could join in, longing for the kind of companionship they took for granted.

He would often imagine himself in the place of one of the other kids, letting his mind create a vivid scene of joining in and having fun. It was as if his consciousness played alongside them while his real body stayed behind, observing from a distance.

But now, he had a real chance to play with someone, no longer just imagining the experience.

Kaiser began teaching you everything he knew about football. You didn’t become an instant expert, but you quickly gained a better understanding of the sport. It started simply, with the two of you passing the ball back and forth while he explained the basics. Gradually, he introduced more advanced moves, each one more challenging than the last.

Before long, you had learned almost everything he had to teach, and Kaiser was genuinely pleased. Finally, he had someone to share the game with—a real companion, not just a daydream.

Day after day, whenever your father was busy with work, you met up with Kaiser. The two of you would play quick soccer matches, though Kaiser usually came out on top. It didn’t matter to him who won; having someone to share his favorite pastime with was all he had ever wanted as of right now.

You found yourself enjoying his company too. Since moving here, you hadn’t had anyone to talk to, spending most of your free time wandering aimlessly through unfamiliar places. Meeting Kaiser changed that. He had become an important part of your life, and you could tell that he felt the same.

The time you spent together brought you happiness, and the bond you shared grew stronger with each passing day. But then, a few years later, everything began to change.

…🥀…

Kaiser was well aware of his growing feelings for you. He wasn’t oblivious; he knew all too well the risks of letting them show. But that didn't stop them from deepening. It only made it harder to ignore.

After years of hard work, he finally secured a spot on Bastard München’s football team—a dream realized, and you had been there through it all. You were always by his side, ready to support him whenever he needed it. You were the person he could lean on, and that meant everything to him.

Over time, he came to depend on you. There were days when it felt like you were the only one who truly understood him, when he found himself seeking you out for solace. Your presence brought him a sense of calm that no one else could.

He began to rely on you.

It was inevitable, really. Being around someone as steadfast and caring as you, his feelings naturally began to shift and grow into something more.

He started to notice the way his gaze lingered on you whenever you spoke, how his cheeks would flush at the sight of your smile. He noticed how much weight your words carried with him, how the sun seemed to light up your skin in a way that drew him in. He couldn’t ignore the warmth that bloomed inside him just from seeing you.

He began to notice everything. And as much as he loved these feelings, he hated them just as much.

This was exactly what he was afraid of—this so-called "love" that threatened to unravel him. The thought of being vulnerable, of exposing that side of himself, terrified him. As his reputation as the "Emperor" grew, so did his fear of appearing weak.

His skills, his ego, and you—they had all shaped who he was and brought him to this point. He couldn’t afford to risk that. It was only natural that he didn’t want to gamble away everything he had worked for. Throwing it all away over a feeling seemed like the height of foolishness.

But was all the arguing and shared anger really worth it?

No, not at all.

…

"Y/n, is it really that hard for you to just listen to me?”

"But why…? Why now?"

The look Kaiser gave you was unfamiliar, his eyes now cold and distant. It was a side of him you had never seen before.

How did it come to this?

…

In the past few days, something had changed in him. The warmth that once lit up his face whenever he saw you had vanished, replaced by a faint scowl. The way he looked at you now—like you were just another bothersome fan—stung in a way you couldn’t understand. Sometimes he would just ignore your presence entirely, leaving you in silence.

"Y/n, I won't say it again. Please, for once, just listen and go. I don’t want to see you right now."

"But Michael! You still haven't told me why!" The desperation in your voice hung in the air, unanswered.

But It was as if Kaiser had just… snapped. Was it your endless questions? Your desperate pleas? Or maybe it was the look in your eyes each time he tried to brush you off.

"You want the truth, Y/n? Fine. Just looking at you makes me sick!"

His words hit like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless. What did he mean? Had he always felt this way? If so, for how long? Were you too much for him?

A storm of thoughts swirled in your mind, each one cutting deeper than the last, as you felt the sting of tears welling up.

"Michael… what…?" you whispered, your voice trembling and barely audible.

"You make me feel sick, Y/n. Nauseous." His tone was sharp, laced with irritation, as if the very act of saying it exhausted him.

A couple of tears managed to form in your eye sockets as you quietly murmured, “Michael…but why? Why do I make you feel like this? Was it something I did..—”

Kaiser clenched his jaw, frustration and bitterness seething beneath his words. How could you be so clueless?

“Yes, Y/N, you did do something—no, you did everything!” he burst out. “Every time you smile, I can’t look away. Your stupid hair falls just right and it’s distracting. Your annoying voice—it calms me, like some kind of spell. And your eyes, the way they look at me… I feel sick because of the warmth you put in my stomach. I hate that I look forward to your presence, that you’re all I think about, that I’ve developed these feelings for you—I hate it all!” His fists tightened, a mix of embarrassment and anger rising to his face.

Your eyes widened. Was this a confession? Were these compliments or just veiled insults? What was he trying to say?

You stared at him, speechless, before managing to whisper, “Michael… you… you have feelings for me?”

Kaiser glanced away, reluctant to admit it. But there was no denying it—this was, in its own way, almost a confession.

Mind you, Almost, a confession.

"I wish I didn’t." His voice was low, almost resigned, and you couldn't help the frown that tugged at your lips. Why would he want to bury something as powerful as this? It didn’t make sense.

"Michael… " you spoke, your voice barely a whisper. "Why would you wish these feelings away? I… I could feel the same way about you, you know…"

He shook his head slowly, as if each movement was a struggle. When he spoke, his tone was firm but tinged with something that resembled sorrow. "It doesn't matter, Y/n. Even if you do, I can't accept it. I can’t accept us."

His words hit you like a cold gust of wind. "You mean… you wouldn't be able to return my feelings?" Your chest tightened as you forced out the question, though deep down, you already knew the answer.

Michael's silence was answer enough, but still, you couldn’t let it end there. "Well," you began, the words stumbling out before you could stop them, "I guess that’s just too bad because… I really do have feelings for you." Your voice wavered slightly, betraying how hard it was to admit, but the truth had taken root too deeply to be ignored.

You had begun to realize it months ago, maybe even longer. The symptoms of love crept in slowly, almost imperceptibly at first—the way his presence made you feel more alive, the longing to hear his voice even when he wasn’t around, the flutter in your chest with every small gesture. Now, standing in front of him, all those little moments coalesced into something undeniable. Yet, here you were, offering your heart to someone who refused to hold it.

You found yourself looking forward to every visit with him, craving the moments you could be near. Even though you saw each other regularly, it never felt like enough. You often caught yourself inventing excuses just to stay a little longer, clinging to each second as if it might be your last chance to be close.

Your gaze drifted toward him, hoping to catch his eye and find some sign of understanding there. But instead of meeting your gaze, he looked away, his expression guarded.

"As I said before, Y/n, I can't," he repeated, his voice steady but distant.

Frustration surged within you, a knot tightening in your chest. Why couldn’t he just explain? Why was he so determined to keep you at arm's length? "Michael, for heaven’s sake, just tell me why!" you demanded, your voice rising with a mix of irritation and desperation. "Why can’t you? We could figure this out… it doesn’t have to be this way."

You were exhausted—tired of the same vague answer, the same unyielding response. "I can’t" wasn’t good enough anymore. You needed the truth, a real reason to justify the wall he kept building between you.

Kaiser noticed the edge in your voice, and frustration flared in his eyes as he responded, his tone sharper than before. "Because I can't risk everything I’ve worked so hard for, Y/n! I’ve fought so hard to get where I am now, and I can't afford any distractions—not even love."

Distraction?

You blinked, his words hitting you like a slap. He thought this—whatever was between you—was just a distraction?

"H-huh…?" you breathed, the word barely audible as it slipped from your lips.

Kaiser tilted his head back, a bitter sigh escaping him as his jaw clenched in obvious irritation. "Did you not understand what I just said?" His voice dripped with exasperation, as though explaining himself was an exhausting chore.

You felt your brows draw together in a scowl, his words twisting in your mind. Of course, you heard him loud and clear, but all you could focus on was how cruel and dismissive he sounded. This whole "distraction" excuse felt like nothing but bullshit—a convenient shield to hide behind, rather than an honest reason.

"Is that what I am to you?" you said, your voice quivering with anger. It seems as if this was just another excuse of his.

His answer left you both hurt and furious, a bitter mix of emotions twisting inside you. Sure, you finally got the explanation you’d been pushing for, but this? This was what he had to say?

"Love… a distraction?" you echoed, your voice strained as you struggled to keep your composure. "Michael, are you serious right now?" You could barely recognize the man standing before you; this wasn’t the Michael Kaiser you thought you knew.

"Do I look like I'm making this up, Y/n?" he shot back, his tone icy and unyielding. "I can’t let anything interfere. I've worked too hard for what I have, and I won't risk losing it all just to chase after some fantasy. I can’t afford to be blinded by ‘love.�� I can’t afford to be weak. Not now." He took a step closer, his gaze piercing into yours.

You stared into those familiar blue eyes—eyes that once looked at you with warmth and admiration. Now, they were cold and hollow, carrying only frustration and something far more unsettling: emptiness. It was like staring into the eyes of a stranger, someone who had shed any trace of the person you thought you cared for.

"I want to be the best, and I can’t do that with emotions weighing me down," he said, his tone harsh and unyielding. "I need a clear path, free from distractions. Do you even realize how much I stand to lose if I let the smallest thing pull my focus? I could lose everything. I could end up weak… and that’s something I refuse to accept."

His words felt like a cold slap, each one slicing through you. "I’ve sacrificed so much just to get where I am today. So there it is, Y/n. I won’t let these emotions derail me. Not even for you."

A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it, a silent testament to the heartbreak squeezing your chest. Was this really it? Was he just going to leave you behind because you didn’t fit into his perfect, distraction-free life? It felt like the ground had fallen out from beneath you.

"This is bullshit, Michael," you snapped, your voice shaking with anger. "You’re just going to drop me like that? After everything? After all the times I’ve been there for you, stood by your side, supported you through every step of your soccer career—this is how you repay me? Do you even realize how messed up that is?"

Your voice rose, trembling with the frustration and betrayal burning inside you. "You can’t just cut me out because I don’t fit neatly into your plans. Do you even hear yourself right now?"

Anger flared in his eyes, and his voice rose, laced with frustration. "Yes, Y/n, I’m going to leave you! Didn’t you hear a word I just said? I can’t risk everything I’ve worked for. I’ve come too far to let ‘love’ make me weak—I’ll lose it all!"

"Why can’t you see that love won’t make you weak?" you cried out, your voice cracking with desperation.

"Tch. I already told you—it’s a distraction," he shot back, his tone cold and dismissive.

Each word felt like a dagger, piercing deeper as he repeated the same relentless argument, as if mocking the very idea of you. He was unyielding, his walls built so high that nothing you said could seem to reach him.

"So that’s it, then?" you murmured, your voice trembling as tears stung your eyes. "All of it? All of this—even me—it’s just a distraction?"

For a split second, something in his expression wavered. The guilt in his eyes betrayed him as he saw the hurt etched across your face. But just as quickly, he masked it, his pride and stubbornness locking him in place. He stayed silent, his hand twitching as if he wanted to reach out but refused to let himself.

The truth was, when you first told him how you felt, a spark of joy had flickered inside him—something he hadn’t felt in a long time. But now, with every pained word that left your lips, he buried that feeling deeper, forcing it down beneath the weight of his ambition. He couldn’t afford to let you see it. He couldn’t afford to let himself feel it.

It pained him to see you like this, knowing he was the cause. He never intended to hurt you like this—never imagined he’d be the one to break your heart.

Of course, his ambitions meant more to him than his "best friend." That was the cruel truth—his future outweighed everything, even you.

The silence stretched between you until you finally broke it, your voice trembling. "Is that a yes or a no, Michael? Please… just answer me."

His gaze softened at the sight of you, your face etched with desperation and pain. He truly felt bad—guilt clawed at him—but he couldn’t let it sway him. He believed this was necessary. He believed it was for the best.

"Yes," he said quietly.

The word hit you like a blow, and your head dropped, a broken breath escaping your lips. You never thought it would come to this—never imagined this was how the two of you would part ways.

Quiet sobs began to slip from you, growing louder with each passing second as tears streamed down your cheeks. Soon, the dam broke, and you were wailing into your hands, trying in vain to wipe away the endless flow of tears. Your heart ached with a hollow emptiness that spread through your chest—the same emptiness that Michael once filled, now torn wide open.

It felt as though a piece of you had been ripped away. You and Michael had been through hell and back together, always supporting and lifting each other up. Now, there was a cold, hollow place in your heart where he used to be, a void that felt unbearable.

After a moment, you forced yourself to look up, only to see him walking away, the distance between you growing with every step.

"Michael… mein Schatz… come back… please…" you whispered, your voice breaking. "I can't do this without you…" But he was already too far to hear, your pleas swallowed up by the empty space between you.

Kaiser kept his eyes on the ground, watching his own feet carry him further away. He didn’t dare look back. "Goodbye, meine Liebe…" he murmured softly, the words escaping like a breath.

a/n: so I actually kinda took my time with this so I hope its better 😐

Also I just rewatched aot, tell me why I forgot how FINE jean was in s4🤧😫 (and Levi)

ANDDD IM ROCKING WITH BLLK S2🤤

I'm going to lick his tattoos bro

133 notes · View notes

narcjsistx · 12 days ago

Text

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part four

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 3.2k (3285)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part five!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!. you can find the other parts of the story by searching in the section dedicated to bllk

Micheal had left the house a few hours earlier, at the first light of dawn: accompanied by two huge suitcases and a train ticket purchased shortly before, he had simply hugged you before leaving for the next few days. Not a word, not a whisper. Just a hug, one of those that touch your soul without you being able to defend yourself

And so, hours after he was gone, you found yourself thinking about how two simple hugs had brought you back to life after months of suffering. The heat of the midday sun filtered through the window, warming your skin slightly, but it was not comparable to the warmth that last night's hug had caused you: Kaiser's problem, or luck, was that he knew exactly how to use words, and, accompanied by his arms tightened around you, the result had been the current confusion in your head. This morning's one had been lighter, perhaps even hasty, but in the same way it had caused a knot in your stomach that after hours and hours still hadn't gone away

What was going on between you and Kaiser?

What happened to the relationship you had before he first walked into that hotel room?

What was happening to you?

You had thought for years that that crush you had on him as a teenager was gone, but now, back in the same house together, you were really revaluating your latest life choices. In a corner of your mind, you wondered what would have changed if instead of dating Gabriel you had stayed in Germany with Kaiser, maybe dating him

If instead of letting everything disappear naturally you had declared yourself, perhaps you would have been together for a few years now. He would obviously have continued with soccer, he would have traveled all over the world as he did but with you at his side, always ready to cheer him on while you would have concentrated on the world of fashion, perhaps becoming a model in this possible universe too. You would spend the nights loving each other and during the day you would simply make it obvious how much you cared for each other. You would simply have been a couple, one of those that perhaps doesn't even destroy destiny even if he tried hard

But that other universe did not exist. There was only and exclusively the universe in which you let yourself be destroyed by someone who actually never really cared about you. There was only the universe where Y/n and Kaiser were always one step away from each other, but never attached

The mattress buckles slightly under your movement as you reach for the remote control on the nightstand. Turn on the television by switching on the channel dedicated to live national matches, where in the pre-match scenes you notice Kaiser appearing training with Ness

You set the nightstand down, turning up the volume as you get out of bed, resting your bare feet on the cold floor. With the comments of the commentator announcing that the match will start soon, you begin to observe the room: it hasn't changed since you were there, the only changes are some prizes including cups and medals placed on the shelves. You sigh, deciding that watching Kaiser's successes now, while your suitcase is still full, isn't the best option

You sit on the floor, starting to take out the few clothes you brought with you. After dividing the clothes into categories you stand up, walking towards a drawer, precisely the lower one

The drawer is practically empty, so you start putting your clothes in there while distractedly listening to the commentator's comments. Without doing so voluntarily, your hands move deeper into the drawer, where they find something hard. You return to reality for a moment due to the unexpected contact, feeling better the material that looks like a metal box

"What will it be...?" you ask to yourself as you take out the box, which weighs more than expected

You look at the object, ask yourself what is inside since due to its weight it must necessarily contain something. You know very well that peeking into other people's things is not polite, and you have never done it in your life. But the more you look at the box, the more something tells you you should open it. Fucking your manners for a moment, you head towards the living room of the house, heading towards the sofa where you sit placing the box on your lap. A little hesitantly, you open the box still feeling anxious that maybe you really shouldn't and put it where it was

But by now, you've opened it

A myriad of letters emerge from the bottom of the box, and so seeing them you could say that there are at least a hundred. A little unsure you grab one, where you read the sender in elegant handwriting that you recognize immediately

— From Kaiser. To Ness

Berlin, autumn

The dates are not specified, but you are amazed to find something like this. A letter for Ness? Why would Kaiser write him a letter? How long ago is it?. You don't know if you should read it or not, but you've already done the damage so you might as well continue

— From Kaiser. To Ness

Berlin, autumn

I seriously can't believe I have to write you a fucking letter. What is happening in Hamburg that has caused the internet to be missing for a month now? Really Ness, you're weird, but the town where you're from is even weirder. Since the situation can no longer be updated via normal messages (and above all because the situation itself is becoming unmanageable for me) I had to resort to this method which honestly makes me feel like an old man from the 1800s writing to his lover so as not to get caught by his wife. I know you didn't laugh, or maybe you did, but in case you didn't I don't care because Y/n would have laughed and that's what matters. Bastard Munchen hasn't been training much lately, maybe it's because half the team is back home for the holidays. I would have liked to return to house too, but seeing my father after a long time wouldn't have given me much pleasure. Returning to the main topic, the situation has degenerated more than I thought. I last saw her on wednesday, and holy shit, seeing her cry was horrible. I hate having to leave her again every time, I really wish I could go back to the time when her brother coached the team and she was always around. It was nice, even though she and I weren't friends at the time. On wednesday I was about to hold her and ask her to come live with me, but how the fuck was I going to tell her? "Hey hi, every time I leave I feel like I want to die, don't you want to come and live with me?" hell no. I know well that the house isn't entirely mine yet and that I still have to sign a few contracts, but by now it should be legally mine before the end of the month. And when it's actually my house, the first room I decide on will be the one where she will stay if I ever ask her and if she ever comes to live with me. Really Ness, it's strange to feel something like that for someone I couldn't even stand until a few years ago. Seeing her after weeks or months without meeting is beautiful every time, and I should seriously stop being like that because I don't recognize myself either. It's as if every time she cheers for me during the matches (you should have seen how excited she was at monday's match!) it's as if I have to prove myself to her as being even better than I already am. Yes, the situation is definitely more desperate and out of control than I thought. I've thought a lot during this time and every now and then I seriously wonder if I should just stop being like this or if I should come out and simply hope for the best answer. But a possible no? Hell, it would ruin everything I currently care most. Hurry up and find a cell phone and an internet line where you can write to me because really, I hate writing letters

Kaiser Micheal

— From Kaiser. To Ness

Berlin, winter

I wonder how it is possible to completely change my opinion in a short time about a day that I have always hated. Y/n decided to spend Christmas at my house this year, instead of making me come to Hamburg like I usually do since we stay apart. Celebrating Christmas with her has always been quite pleasant, her family and especially her brother love me quite well and they don't mind spending such an important day with me. But on the one hand, they are unaware of how much it bothers me that they wish me a happy birthday, because in addition to being Christmas it's also my fucking birthday. I know they don't do it voluntarily, but it bothers me that I can hardly handle. Y/n never wishes me a happy birthday because she knows I hate it, oh god she's perfect. This year was our first Christmas alone, just me and her in the new house; she came saying that being together during this day could be a way to inaugurate the house, which has been mine for a short time now. We were on the couch pretty much the whole time, eating junk that my diet would abolish without a second thought. But you know what? Honestly I don't care much, seeing her laugh while eating candy was quite enjoyable. I don't think I've had such a great day in a long time, but do you know what specifically happened that changed my opinion about my birthday? By mistake, before locking herself in her room to sleep (she stayed until the 29th, she left just before New Year's Eve so she slept at home for almost a week. When I showed her the room I chose for her, obviously hiding the fact that I hoped she would come to live with me, she was happy) she said "happy birthday, Mihya" to me and immediately apologised. But from her, it didn't bother me... it's strange, because I've always hated my birthday. She continued to apologize for at least a full minute, and trust me Ness, I was seriously on the verge of shutting her up by kissing her. Her wishes, somehow, seem more beautiful. When we went to sleep, each in our own rooms, I was awake for at least 2 hours just thinking that SHE was in MY HOUSE in the room ATTACHED to mine. I should seriously consider visiting a psychologist... my God, I should get myself hospitalized because this is not the Kaiser I know. How long will you stay in Hamburg? I hate writing to you

Kaiser Micheal

— From Kaiser. To Ness

Napoli, summer

I don't remember why for every letter I sent you I made a copy that I kept. The last one was more than a year and a half ago, and what's more I had forgotten about this exchange of letters that we had had for a while. But now, with the current situation, obviously I have to update you because, even if it kind of bothers me to admit it, you are the only one who knows how I feel about her, I would have preferred her to understand it honestly. Today Y/n called me, I'm in Italy for special training and the call cost me a few cents, but I don't care. She was a little agitated, and I didn't understand why her voice seemed more shaky than usual. She told me that her brother received a promotion in Denmark, and that her family will be leaving in less than three weeks. I have to admit, the world fell on me a bit when she told me: the mere fact of not being able to see her daily or monthly weighs on me, but not even seeing her for years? Hell, no. And so I told her, Ness. I asked her to come and live with me in Berlin... and she said yes. She said she will catch the first plane next week and when I get home she will already be here. It will no longer be my home, but our home. Hell, it sounds like a pre-marriage course that I wouldn't mind doing with her though. I think I was more afraid of asking her this than of letting Bastard Munchen lose in the last game. Every now and then I seriously wonder if I should honestly just come out and let her decide; don't get me wrong, I would hope for a positive response, but just letting go of this boulder that I've been carrying on my shoulders for at least 3 or 4 years would be enough. I think hiding the fact that I love her is becoming too complicated, and imagine how the situation will get worse once she lives with me. I would simply like to have less paranoia and let myself go, but I prefer to live in doubt if the other option is to lose her. Shit I don't even know what I just said. I often go to the sea during breaks, here in Naples it's nice and Italy isn't as cold as Germany. I swim often, and every now and then when I pop out of the water after going underwater, I swear I see her on the beach. Every now and then I imagine myself being with her, kissing her, just knowing that she loves me. Am I a weirdo? Probably

Kaiser Micheal

— From Kaiser. To Ness

Berlin, spring

It's been just over a month since she went to Italy. Her room hasn't been opened since she left, and I don't plan on doing so until she gets back, because she will. I know that the relationship won't last, that shitty Italian promises her the world but won't give her anything. And when she comes back, I will declare myself, and finally the boulder I carry on my shoulders will go away. At first, a few months ago, I thought she was joking when she said she was seeing someone: not that I believed her, she's a nice and pretty girl, but with someone other than me? God, I'm thankful I knew how to pretend because I would have risked making an unnecessary scene. When she told me she was leaving I was dead inside, and I'm dead inside now too. Did you notice how many times the coach sent me to the bench during practice? I don't blame him honestly, furthermore he said that if I continue like this I might not even show up for the next match. I hate myself for loving her and her for being so lovable!... it's not true, probably loving her and being able to get to know her better is one of the few graces that this shitty life has given me. I wonder if there is a universe where she loves me, where she knows how much she actually mean it to me. One where, as soon as I get home from training, she come up to me wanting to kiss me. One where I attend all her shows and where she knows I'm her number one fan in everything. One where she becomes my wife one day after I promised her that I would give my all just to make her happy. One where I simply declared myself as soon as she went to Hamburg, when we were both 19

Maybe in another universe, Y/n?

Kaiser Micheal

Your hands tremble as you finish reading the fourth letter; wthout you noticing, small tears roll down your cheeks, leaving an annoying wet sensation. You look at the papers, and for the first time since you met Kaiser, you feel like you never really understood him. These letters could even be from 5 years ago, and you have known him for 10 years! How is it possible that in all this time you haven't really understood what was hidden behind that smile you adore so much?

“…Maybe in another universe, Y/n?” reread cautiously, and it's as if a cold shower runs down your body, giving you a sudden feeling of cold

Kaiser loves you, or rather, you don't know if he still does now. Micheal spent years thinking what you're thinking now, where do you imagine yourself dating him instead of that asshole. Kaiser simply saw the girl he loved pass before his eyes, without being able to stop her and tell him what he really felt. Knowing that you hurt him in some way is a wound that becomes more and more painful as the minutes pass. How could you be so damn blind to the person you claimed to know more than yourself?

Still with trembling hands you place the last letter read next to you, on the sofa cushion. You grab the box, ignoring the other letters that you honestly just want to read anymore, and find something at the bottom: three photographs, a small plushie and a small writing on a piece of paper which now seems ruined due time

You look at the first photograph: the Bastard Munchen team smiles in front of the campus training field. Your brother is at one hundred, you next to him between a player you don't recognize and Ness. Kaiser is a little further away, the only one not smiling in the photo. The date at the bottom of the photograph marks the period in which your brother had just obtained the position, so you were 16 at the time. This is probably the first photo of you two together

Now you look at the second photograph: you were a little older here, probably 17 or 18 years old, sitting on the benches in the field. You greeted the person behind the camera, who you remember was Ness. In one corner, you can see Kaiser training but looking at you. A note behind the photograph reads "Even when you were stupid you were cute"

The third photograph however is from a few years later: the stadium is celebrating, you are hugging Kaiser who has one hand on your hip and the other is busy holding a large cup. You both smile, you even have a few tears in your eyes. Another note at the bottom of the photo says "You were the most important thing even in that moment"

You recognize the stuffed animal as one that you left at his house, by mistake, when you moved to Italy. A small stray dog, blond in color and with blue eyes with a cerulean and red collar. You had called him Mihya, because he reminded you terribly of Micheal. The note was old, but you recognized your handwriting: "Always your number one fan, remember that! ♡". You remembered giving it to him after the same game in the third photo, but you thought he had thrown it away some time ago

You observe everything still trembling, while the tears continue to flow without a brake. Kaiser had been, or still was, in love with you. Perhaps the situation was even more complex than it already was before, and perhaps you didn't really know the Michael you considered your best friend

69 notes · View notes

brainjvice · 7 months ago

Text

Never ask a kaiser fan what happened on may 3rd 2024

#blue lock 260 #michael kaiser #bllk spoiler #blue lock spoilers #bllk spoilers #kaiser bllk #what the fuck #blue lock leaks #bllk leaks #i am sick to my stomach

158 notes · View notes

vvluvmai · 3 months ago

Text

𝑭𝑺𝑴 ✩ 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑵

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ(adj.) feeling sad and lonely because of unrequited love

warn. Fem reader, ooc kaiser?, angst w/o comfort

sum. Years and years went by, the prideful man kept his secrets to himself, his most troubling one being love, love he had for his best friend since childhood. And to see her with another man, laughing and hugging, on the day he had built up enough courage to apologise and maybe even confess to the very person he had been in love and loving in secret for many years, it shattered whatever hope he had been holding onto for years. For the boy cried himself to sleep that day, and everytime his mind so cruelly reminds him of that fateful day.

char. Micheal Kaiser.

cw. This was written way before kaiser’s backstory was revealed but I tried putting in elements of kaiser's personality and updated it a lil, and also, my writing has gotten rusty after MONTHS of not writing so pls 🐻 with me <3 rushed(?), ooc, kinda cringe, drabble.

an. This is a pretty short drabble, lemme know if yall would like me into a bigger more clarified fic!!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ☃︎⎯⎯⎯⎯��⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Michael was your typical highschool popular asshole. Even to his friends, he'd throw them under the bus just for shits and giggles. But yet, he had the tiniest of a soft side for his best friend, one who he.. at least treated as a human being. You'd always listen to him, his troubles, his gossip, hell, even about the most incoherent rants he blabbered out whenever he drank too much. He was much like his dad; a drunken, sentimental asshole.

Even at his most vulnerable moments such as..being drunk, his mind still somehow managed to keep a thick, strong wall protecting him against the judging hearts of others no matter how much he trusted or felt comfortable with them. Yet he felt comfortable in your arms when he angrily or stupidly rant about whatever bothered his mind, and at his worst, he'd cry in your arms completely unresponsive. Which has only happened once, an incident he swears never happened and continues to gaslight you into thinking it truly never happened.

Michael has always despised crying, growing up with both his mother and father belittling him whenever he cried because of the scoldings and punishments he gets for being what most would call a ‘problem child'.

And as a result of this, he'd always suck up his tears no matter how blurry his eyes get or no matter how much his eyes burn, never making a single decibel of sound no matter how much he felt like he needed to sob and bawl even when there's that mind numbing feeling of barbed wires tightening around his neck and digging into his body and killing every need to run and run far away.

Even if no one was around, he'd just simply let the tears fall, his body still as a rock and not making a sound. But he liked it this way. This way, no one would know that he was nothing more than a ‘schwache Heulsuse’. This way, no one would see those crystal tears that dared to run away from his eyes and thus, no one would be able to call him a ‘Weichei’ or ‘Rückgratlose Scheiße’ as his parents did. And to most, he'd seen like he's sleeping if it weren't for the tight grip of his pillow and the constant scratching of his arms to distract him from the pain that clouded his heart emotionally.

Michael's sarcastic and narcissistic personality was yet another result of his childhood and the constant drowning out whatever negative thoughts came to cloud his mind; hurling insults and gossiping helped keep his mind off what he'd have to endure at home. Constantly taunting, teasing, poking fun no matter who it was. But when it came to you, oh, you, people would die from shock to see how he was with you behind closed doors. A smile so genuine and soft, laughs so happy and beautiful and the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle and pupils shine when he was with you, timeless and worth admiring.

If only he'd let go of that habit of his, pushing others away when got too close to his heart. And maybe then, he'd have you with him, smiling and laughing the same way he did when he was with you.

Well, highschool has passed. And now he was at blue lock, fighting for his life, rendering his enemies to mere shame to fill that disgusting—as he called it—aching void in his chest. The victory of defeating his opponents were always short lived, 5 seconds of the feeling of glory that vanished as fast as it came, but for cameras he maintained that smug, proud and confident face in hopes that maybe one day, the unrequited love of his life would leave her boyfriend for him.

He knew it was a shitty thought, the most pathetic and the most low he'll ever stoop to. But he couldn't care anymore, for someone who has gotten everything he ever wished for, this was that one thing that seemed so far away and ever so fleeting. Ah, if only he was more trusting. If only his arrogant and ignorant self could've let down the walls he built to keep the judgement of others at bay, so that he could be himself with the only person who actually cared.

He got everything he wanted, but not what he needed.

And now he had to face the mistakes of his way haunting him whenever he went out to clear his mind. Even then, she'd never leave him be. Her, so stubborn, that even now she refused to abandon him like all the others. Even if she was gone physically, she was still there in his mind constantly. His whole body tormented him, his eyes faking the illusions of her, his mind constantly bringing up the moments of comfort, laughter and banter he had with her. And the painful, disgusting, torturous moments where he made her cry, arguments, disagreements and shouting. And that one specific moment where his life had ended, when his life decided to walk far away from him was the moment that still kept him company, physically reminding him of what he had lost.

And now, his life was back to haunt him again. This time, it was no trick orchestrated by his eyes and mind to taunt him again, this time, it was real and he could swear on his bloodline.

The fashion he wore ever so immaculately, designed to flaunt his wealth, power and 'confidence', had people turning their heads in a whiplash. Michael looked around, looking for a store to waste money on and in the midst of his search, but his eyes caught a familiar face laughing.

Eyes widening in quick realisation as he kept walking forward that it was her, (name). The tiniest of smiles graced his face, little hopes clinging to his heart that he could fix what he broke months ago. But soon enough, all little hopes washed away like the shore when his eyes saw that (name) as clinging on to the arm of another man as they both waited for the red light to go green. Smiling, laughing and gleeful. Never had she looked this at peace, this joyful with him and it served fuel to the growing angering pit in his stomach. A pit of fury, hatred, anxiety and hurt all directed to none other than himself, for he knew that he was at fault.

Hidden in the bustling crowds, kaiser stood quietly. Face blank except for the way his eyes had seemed a little more dull than usual, mind full. His eyes blankly watched the red go green, and the standing couple walk.

Again, he watched his life woke away from him. And again, he was reminded,

He had everything he wanted, but not everything he needed.

♯

𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 —

Rückgratlose Scheiße - Spineless shit

Schwache Heulsuse - weak crybaby

Weichei - wimp

Thank you so much to all my clouds for waiting for so long, I'm not dead, I'm just dealing with abit IRL <33

tags: @kaiserkisser

#kaiser x reader #kaiser x reader angst #kaiser x y/n #kaiser x you #kaiser x you angst #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #michael kaiser bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #michael kaiser x reader angst #bllk angst #bllk kaiser #kaiser bllk #michael kaiser angst

76 notes · View notes

kaiser-fan-page · 6 months ago

Text

So ive been going through and replacing all of Ness's lines with dog sounds

Mean as it may be its so fucking funny

Idk what I could replace Isagi's words w/ but. I'm sure there's something

#kaiser x ness #kainess #kaisagi #isagi x kaiser #kaiser bllk #kaiser blue lock #blue lock kaiser #bllk kaiser #michael kaiser #bllk #blue lock

93 notes · View notes

thebestsetter · 17 days ago

Text

Michael Kaiser HATES parties.

He usually avoids them. He doesn't go to the parties his team hosts after they win an important game nor to the press parties. He feels like throwing up at the very mention of the word.

He hates everything in it. He hates the smell of alcohol that linges in the air, hates the lights that seem almost blinding, hates how sweaty the air feels.

But what he absolutely LOATHES are the people who frequent parties. He despises them.

He doesn't get what's wrong with them, honestly. They get drunk and all that crap, claim they're "having fun" when they can't even walk a straight line without tumbling. Kaiser hates alcohol. He hates people who idealize it, treating it as a savior when it ruined his life since he was only a kid with no name or fortune who got beaten daily by a drunk father. Therefore, he hates places where alcohol is treated as something good. He hates parties.

They're stupid. They're stupid, and yet people still go. It makes him feel like rolling his eyes and cussing them out at how dumb and blind they are.

But what makes him really hate the "party animals" is their twisted concept of love.

Love is not, by any means, an ideal that's easy to grasp. He, himself, didn't now what it was until 3 months ago. But he knows their idea of love couldn't be further from the truth.

They go around on parties, kissing strangers and dancing with shadows trying to fill the void that is where their heart should be. They lay down with people and kiss faceless silhouettes and claim that it's in the name of "love". He couldn't feel more repulsed by them. Because he knows that is NOT love.

He knows that because he, once, thought love came like that, too. He thought love meant just kissing and holding hands, finding someone pretty and settling down with them. He thought marriage was just a title, and love just a meaningless concept mothers tell their children before they go to bed.

His mind only changed when he met the embodiment of love itself: you.

You introduced him to what love really feels like. Love is not a myth. It'a not a legend. It's a reality. And he feels it every day, every hour and every second he spends with you.

He always thought he was unworthy of loving and being loved, but you showed him he can have this feeling in his life. That love is not something you deserve: it's something you just recieve. You don't need anything back: you just need him. And he's not complaining, even though he'll never understand.

Now, he knows love is really blind. Not saying you're ugly, God no. You're the prettiest person he's ever met. But he knows love is blind because he doesn't need to see you to love you.

All these people in parties need to see the person to fall for them. Their love is conditional, it's based on the ambient around them.

The music, the lights, the alcohol. It all makes people idealize what they see. They're influenced by the clothes, by the atmosphere. That's not love. That's reverie. Illusion. A trick their drunk brains pull.

When the party is over, their "love" dies. When they see the other without a skilled makeup or beautiful clothes, they stop loving the person they met. That is not love.

Love comes in the form of you.

Love is there when you go to his games. Love is there when you hold him close to your chest, caressing his hair after yet another episode of remembering his harsh childhood. Love is present when you wake up right beside one another, both laughing at each other's ridiculous bed hair. Love is there when you kiss the side of his eye, right at his tattooed eyeshadow. Or when you trace his arm tattoo.

Love is there whenever you are.

Because you are love for him. And when he sees you in your pajamas, almost sleeping and yet staying awake just to see him come back home after training and greet him, he knows for sure.

He doesn't need parties. He doesn't need lights, or alcohol.

His love for you is sober. It's unconditional. Endless.

And when you hug him, and he hears your sweet voice saying "Welcome home, my love. I missed you", he swears he feels like crying.

He never thought he'd be lucky enough, but he did it.

He found true love.

He found you. And he couldn't ask for anything more.

You are love, after all. What else could he possibly want?

~ Based on the poem "Se se morre de amor" by Gonçalves Dias!!!

Masterlist

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk manga #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you #bllk kaiser #kaiser x reader #kaiser #kaiser blue lock #kaiser bllk #michael kaiser #blue lock kaiser #kaiser fluff #kaiser michael #kaiser x you #kaiser x y/n

447 notes · View notes