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itsgodepi · 1 year ago

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If I lose my mind | Ch. 7

Series summary: When you're buried under a mountain of problems and can’t seem to catch a break, it might feel like you need a complete reset. But did it really have to come with a one-way ticket to a new dimension? Surely, a little problem-solving would’ve done the trick. Or, one day you go to sleep as a normal person and the next you wake up as a Formula One driver. You've never been a fan but isn't it like, one of the most exclusive sports? Pairing: CL16, LH44, CS55, DR3 x fem!reader Chapter: Previous | Next Word Count: 2.8k Also on AO3

You do win a few positions in the French Grand Prix, after hours of driving in circles under the scorching sun. Two to be exact, from a P15 to a P13. It is true that being thirtieth does not grant you any points and of course not a trophy, you will have to wait a bit more to acquire those milestones in your career, but it is not like anybody cares much about that either. The most important thing, as you have come to understand after talking to the team, is that you have yet again managed to beat your teammate. That detail is sometimes even more valuable for your career than a couple points —although the team would really appreciate a couple of them.

It was an easy feat for that week’s race anyway. Mick ran straight into the gravel on lap 23, his car ramming with such force into the barriers that it no longer looks like a Formula One car when it is towed back to the garage. He was pushing the limit, that is for sure, trying his best to surpass another driver named Ocon while also controlling his pace for the long race still ahead... until he wasn’t.

It is scary to witness, the way his car reaches its limits and goes crazy, the steering wheel spinning out of control while Mick can do nothing but pray that the crash won’t be fatal, that he won’t get hurt. It is even scarier to think that you are putting yourself in that position for the third week in a row now, clueless about what is happening or if this is even the real world, but still allowing a group of unknown people to play dress up with you and strap you down into that car again and again.

“Hey, where are you going? To the briefing?” Carlos flags you down in your walk through the main street of the paddock, his voice loud in the almost empty space. It is still too early for the photographers and guests to be roaming around, gift shops and restaurants completely deserted save for the workers preparing for the worst day of the weekend. It is nice to see, honestly.

The scenery has undergone a big change, the huge terraces and open-air spaces of the French paddock long forgotten and replaced with cosier restaurants in preparation for the harsh weather forecast for Hungary’s Grand Prix. Your subconscious is clearly working overtime to fool you into believing this is reality.

Carlos, Charles and another man are seated in one of the few tables set outside the Ferrari motorhome, relaxing with some coffee and snacks. “Yeah? Are you not?” you respond with furrowed eyebrows, your speed faltering since you see them making no effort to rush their meal and get to a driver’s meeting that started ten minutes ago.

Instead, Carlos beckons you with a gesture of his hand, a cheeky grin pulling at his lips when he simply tells you to “Come over for a second”.

A request that you confusedly fulfill with a last look at your watch.

The driver stretches a hand out to you when you near the group, leaning back into his chair as he looks up at your approaching figure. By sheer instinct, you hold your arm towards the driver as well, placing your hand in his open one when you are close enough to do so. Carlos’ smile grows the littlest bit at that, his fingers closing around yours to get you to walk that much closer to his seat.

An interaction that does not pass unnoticed by the rest of the table.

“You don’t have this meeting or...?” you repeat your question, gaze flying to where the building you were running to hides, and then back to the crinkling eyes of the Ferrari driver.

The pair lets the unknown man at the table fill you in “It’s delayed until nine, they sent an email a while ago”, his Spanish accent shining through his words. He must be Carlos’ guest, the absence of any Ferrari merch making him stand out in the middle of the red decoration and the two team drivers. No pass is hanging from his neck though, he might indeed be part of the team. “Didn’t Nick tell you?”

Oh, and he knows Nick too?

“Seriously? No, he didn’t...” you murmur, taking your phone out from your pocket with your free hand and looking through your unread messages, can’t believe you have literally run across the paddock for a meeting that won’t start for another half an hour at least “I was meeting him there.”

Before you can start sulking, Carlos steals your attention with a squeeze of your hand “Well, then you have nothing to do, right?”, standing up from his chair to lend it to you before you can get an answer out. The Spanish driver uses his hold on your hand to direct you down onto the seat —much like he had done just a week ago, you are glad to at least know his name this time—, looking down at you with an accomplished expression when he succeeds “I’m going to go get you something. You didn’t have breakfast, did you?”

Carlos only lets go of your hand and disappears inside the motorhome when you confirm his suspicions, you have not eaten anything yet, and honestly were not planning to. The nerves won’t let you keep anything down in days like these, your diet consisting of some water and what little fruit you can munch on to not faint in the middle of the road, but you don’t have the heart to tell him that.

The situation is another déjà vu from some time ago, when a certain Ferrari driver approached you in your first ever visit to the Paddock with a delicious surprise and a similar question. This time though, he can do nothing but sit back and watch while his teammate fills the small table with treats for you. The other man at the table shaking his head at the Spanish’s antics, a smile hidden under his hand, you would not even be able to eat all of this if you had spent days in a hunger strike.

Carlos pulls up an extra chair from a nearby table and encourages you to dive in, taking his probably cold coffee from in front of you to finish what was left in it.

You put your phone down then, finally concluding with a sigh “I’ve got nothing from Nick... and now he isn’t answering”, and picking up one of the most manageable foods of your improvised breakfast in the meantime: a tiny bowl of fruit salad.

Charles lets out a chuckle at that, swirling the contents of his paper cup “Like you would have seen it anyway, I’m still waiting for an answer about the plane tickets, just saying...”

“Mate, I sent her a good luck text back in France, and did you get a response to it?” Carlos joins in on his friend's complaints, making a dramatic pause and answering his own question on the same beat “Yeah, me neither”

Maybe you would have felt called out or exposed that these two were discussing your private conversations —or lack of thereof— out here in the open and in front of a stranger, but that’d be if you had any idea of what the hell they were talking about. What messages? Did you give them your number at some point and don’t remember it? Well, Nick and the media coordinator have been the only ones blowing up your phone since you received the device anyway.

“I don’ know what you’re talking about” you mumble, shrugging your shoulders as they continue airing instances where you have ignored their texts and you follow on with your task, the fruit tastes really good actually.

After a while, Carlos tap his foot on your crossed legs to gain back your attention, when he finally notices you have grown quiet during their tirade, and offers you a smile

“C’mon don’t get mad, we’re just joking” Charles consoles you as well —unnecessarily so, since the only emotion you are experiencing is confusion— “It’s because we’re flying private a bit later, and I don’t want you getting home before I do”

Home? What is he talking about? And why does he have to arrive first? Seriously, you are missing too much information

“You should fly with us, I’m sure the rest won’t mind” Carlos chimes in, stealing a piece of the chocolate crêpe in your plate. A plate that you push to his side of the table right after, cutting him a couple more pieces so he can help you finish it up.

Through a mouthful of the sweet dessert, you question the obvious “The rest?”. Completely disregarding all the other important questions crowding your mind, a skill you have developed after weeks of not understanding anything the people around you talk about.

As your answer, you have the three men on the table spewing names on the go, confirming the presence of at least six other people on the plane. The unknown Spanish man seems to also be included in the passengers’ list.

You don’t mind flying with them, honestly. You have somehow grown accustomed to taking a plane every other week, which means this won’t be much of a change. This way you’ll have at least someone to talk to on the journey to whichever country is next on the schedule, Nick always falls asleep a second after taking off.

The “private” part is the most confusing one, you and Nick have been taking normal flights to every Grand Prix. Guess your subconscious has decided to step up its game. You’ll follow the script anyway; at the end of the day, you are just trying to find the end of this abnormally long dream.

You agree to their proposal with a shrug of your shoulders, stuffing your face with the last bit of a second crêpe that you cannot believe you’ve finished. It feels nice to tone down that sinking feeling you have in your stomach on Sundays.

Charles could not be happier with your decision, something he lets you know as soon as you get on the way to the drivers briefing. Carlos and the other man have taken the lead, walking in front of the two of you and chatting about an interview they will be recording later in the day. And they do it in Spanish, which feels so refreshing to hear after weeks of being surrounded by people talking every other language.

While you are trying to discretely listen in on their conversation, Charles lightly nudges you with his shoulder in an attempt to get you out of your thoughts. He easily succeeds, has you looking up at him over the lid of your cup of hot chocolate —yes, you are still trying to finish Carlos’ impromptu breakfast— in the next beat.

“I’m really looking forward for the break” his voice is low, the corners of his lips tilted up into a beautiful smile that he can’t seem to be able to get rid of. His green eyes are shinning with pure joy, focused only on you and the way you slowly match his grin.

“Are you?” you do not know exactly what he means or why is he looking at you like that but feel compelled go along with it.

The Ferrari driver peels his eyes from you to look at the path in front of him, his cheeks still full with that big smile as he crosses his arms over his chest and gives you another playful push “It’s going to be great, I promise”

The briefing is exhausting, as always. The drivers have had a lot of issues during the Free Practices and Qualifying, which means it takes you half an hour more to break free from the meeting. The Ferrari teammates remain quiet by your side, they managed to lock themselves into the second and third place of the starting grid, so its preferable to keep a low profile and listen. Lewis is one of the most vocal ones, in his seventh place right behind Alonso, and this other Sebastian Vettel guy too —another surname that rings so many alarms in your head—, but his criticism of the traffic during his fast lap is much more justified. He got knocked down to P18.

You are happy with your P13, the same position you ended up in on the French GP and two positions in front of Mick, so you have simply been trying not to fall asleep in the middle of it all.

All the drivers are walking out of the room, chatting about their schedules and the final result of their complaints, when a certain McLaren driver comes up to awaken you from your slumber. Daniel suddenly drops his arm over your shoulders while you are sleepily trailing behind Nick, bringing you close to his body while he balances the two of you from one side to the other, a chuckle slipping past his lips at your startled expression.

“Gonna let me invite you out for lunch?” Daniel offers, making you match his pace as Nick leads you both down the corridor.

“Huh? Why?” comes as your instant response, understandably so when you have not exchanged more than a couple of words after he had that fight with Nick on the Austrian Grand Prix. His words about having to talk to you later are still bouncing off your ears.

Daniel has not approached you for that important conversation ever since, has not mentioned that horrible day when you woke up in the garage with him not once, and now he wants to go have lunch with you? It doesn’t seem right.

“What do you mean why?” the man frowns, having not expected any kind of push back from your part. Daniel decides to come to a stop before exiting the building, letting go of you so you can better talk face to face “Just because? I mean, it’s been so long since we last went out... Do you not want to? That’s okay too”

Daniel’s voice makes something shift inside of you, a strange weight setting over your chest at hearing his dejected tone. It is a wave of unfamiliar thoughts and feelings that swarm your mind, inexplicable ones, that are quickly growing into a awful headache.

It is not something you expected either, the way someone that seems so happy and over the top on his interviews, would deflate just because you are cautious about spending time with him. But you didn't imagine feeling sick to your stomach from watching him like that.

“No, I-” you start speaking, more out of sheer need to wipe that sad frown from his face than anything else, still not sure of what is making you feel so distressed “Yeah, of course I want to, it’s just that I literally ate half the Ferrari buffet, and I really can’t have anything before the race because I get sick and... you know?” you explain, almost stumbling over your words and probably speaking in the thickest accent he has ever heard with how fast you try to go over your excuses

Daniel expression faintly lifts at your nervous reaction and he shakes his head “Don’t worry about it, we can go any other time! I was-… it’s just that things have been a bit strange since Austria, so I wanted to make sure everything’s alright. You can talk to me whenever you need, you know that, right?”

And although you nod almost immediately in confirmation, trying to look confident and willing to do so, this is another conversation that will make the rounds on your mind for nights on end. For now, it is the first thing on your head from the second you step inside the car, to the moment you leave the paddock that same afternoon.

Although there are even more waiting to happen.

Nick has decided it is finally time to inform you about the start of the holidays —most probably that break Charles had mentioned—, no race no nothing for a month. No seeing Daniel for that meal you promised him either, or even a bye-bye to him or any of the drivers. And Nick not only has the audacity to dump all that new information on you after accompanying you to your hotel room, but he also leaves you completely alone after reminding you of your next schedule in England, which is actually 15 days away. Fifteen days where he won't be with you.

What does he mean goodbye? What are you supposed to do now?

Next chapter

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Author's note: Hi! It's been way too long since I last posted, hasn't it? Seriously, uni is killing me. Hope you all liked the chapter!! I've been rereading all your comments a million times to get some motivation, so thanks for the help hahahha. I'm already missing F1.

Thank you so much for reading!!

Taglist: @purplephantomwolf @raye2000 @yuiiimd @drezzerk33 @leclercdream @homie0sapien @minkyungseokie @carlossainzwho @rewmuslupin @kyuupidwrites @raevyng @lazybot @gills-lounge @hiraethrhapsody @jjkclub @darleneslane @therealcap

#f1 x reader #f1 fic #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #formula one x reader #formula one x you #f1 x you #f1 imagine

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thewebcomicsreview · 2 years ago

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The Webcomic Reviews Mini Reviews Masterpost, Part 1

People always ask me what I think of various webcomics, so I decided to start collecting my thoughts in one place! Click the images to go to the comic! Comic titles with a ⭐ after them are recommended, but even if I don't give a comic a star, that doesn't mean you won't like it.

[un]Divine ⭐

What is it: A highschooler sells his soul for a big titty demon gf, and now has to have anime battles against angels who keep trying to eat him.

The Good: Excellent art and monster designs, some of the better fights in webcomics.

The Bad: Danny is kind of a bland protagonist. The comic keeps threatening to veer into femdom porn, which may be a good thing for some of you. Comic is on permanent semi-hiatus and updates very infrequently

You should read it if: You wanna read a comic with big fights, big angels, and big titties.

Ava’s Demon

What is it: A bunch of kids possessed by demons have space adventures and are sad

The Good: Extremely good art. Occasional "high production value" moments with music and limited animation. The single-panel page format really highlights the art.

The Bad: Bland writing, weak characters. The single-panel page format really slows the flow of reading it.

You should read it if: Learning that the Wrath demon is named “Wrathia” doesn’t strike you as comically dumb

Awkward Zombie ⭐

What is it: It’s a comic that makes jokes about video games

The Good: It’s the best comic that makes jokes about video games

The Bad: If you haven’t played the game in question, you might not get the jokes. Awkward lack of zombies.

You should read it if: You like jokes about video games. I don't....it's not a complex premise.

Camp Weedonwantcha ⭐

What is it: A bunch of kids are left at summer camp forever by parents who’ve abandoned them to die. Wacky comedy and feel-good moments ensue.

The Good: Cute adventures with kids, reminiscent of some of the better Nicktoons from the 90s. Surprisingly emotionally effective when it wants to be.

The Bad: While the ending is satisfying in its own way, many plot threads go unresolved

The Terrible: Nickelodeon bought the rights and is sitting on them.

You should read it if: You like slice of life adventures with blasts of dark humor and feels

Cloudscratcher

What is it: Ducktales, with Genocide!

The Good: Cute and generally likable characters. Decently paced

The Bad: Doesn’t really excel at anything. Weirdly insistent about totally not being a furry comic even though it obviously is.

The Terrible: The author is a white nationalist, and the lack of link is intentional.

You should read it if: You like 80s cartoons and hate minorities

Cornucopia ⭐

What is it: A ninja is sent on a mission to literally steal candy from a nation of morons, fails.

The Good: Good art and well-paced storytelling. Clever use of different types of word balloons. High joke-per-page ratio

The Bad: Doofy tone may not be your cup of tea. Seems to have died young, though the first chapter is still a complete story

You should read it if: You like JelloApocalypse’s videos on YouTube, or his series Epithet Erased, since he made this

Dresden Codak

What is it: A genius inventor has wacky adventurers, then goes to a flying city and spends most of the comic’s run embroiled in a conspiracy run by evil anime villains.

The Good: The drawings are pretty. The early comedy adventures are quirky and charming.

The Bad: Panel layout and composition, especially early in Dark Science, is atrocious. Presents the comic as a feminist power fantasy, but the main character usually has her tits out and has had her clothes burnt off on multiple occasions.

The Terrible: The author is a notorious jerk. As of this writing, The Dark Science storyline has been running for eight years and has yet to reach a triple-digit number of pages, even though it’s a full-time job for which Diaz earns $4,000+/mo on Patreon.

You should read it if: You thought the best part of Ghost in the Shell was the lesbian orgy boat.

Drop Out (NSFW) ⭐

What is it: Two girlfriends go on a road trip to kill themselves in style

The Good: Short enough to be read in one sitting. Surprisingly good visual storytelling for a first comic. Realistic dialogue and high tension keeps you engaged even when not much is happening. Subtle details that don’t become apparent until a second read reward paying attention.

The Bad: Heavy subject matter. Lettering can be tough to read in early pages.

Content Warnings: Drug Abuse, Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Detransitioning….a list of all the difficult content in this comic would be so long it’d look like I’m making a joke. This is a heavy comic.

You should read it if: You like arty dramatic comics that deal with uncomfortable topics

Dumbing of Age

What is it: College students obsessed with late 80s-early 90s pop culture have relationship troubles

The Good: Of all the popular comics it’s trendy to shit on, this is by far the best. Solid gag-a-day strip with plots that move at a decent pace.

The Bad: Realistic depictions of abusive parents co-exists in the same comic as a literal superhero, leading to some jarring tonal confusion.

You should read it if: You like newspaper-style drama comics.

Everything Is Fine

What is it: Maggie and Sam are a normal married couple in a very strange world where proving your loyalty is the key to winning, and the best way to prove your loyalty is to show someone else is disloyal. And also everyone wears mascot suit cat heads all the time.

The Good: Well-written characters, a novel premise, and excellent pacing. I’m not the biggest fan of the webtoon “really tall page” format, but it’s taken advantage of at times for nice transitions

The Bad: The webtoon format can be irritating, and the worldbuilding is toeing the line between “compelling mystery” and “If there were two astronauts on the moon and one shot the other wouldn’t that be fucked up?”-ism.

Content Warning: Gore, Suicide themes. Every page with such content has a warning on it (which works better in Webtoon format, actually)

You should read it if: You liked the dystopian fiction fiction books you had to read in high school.

Gunnerkrigg Court ⭐

What is it: A girl attends a scientific school in a magical world that’s honestly not even slightly like Harry Potter but people say it is because they think J. K. Rowling invented British schools

The Good: Good art and fantastic panel composition. Slow-burning dark fantasy mystery.

The Bad: Takes a little while to find its groove. Starts feeling rushed and confusing near the end.

The Terrible: Boxbot

You should read it if: You like dark fantasy stories, or stories in general.

Homestuck ⭐?

What is it: A kid wants to play a video game but it’s downstairs and he doesn’t feel like talking to his dad yadda yadda yadda the universe explodes. Was briefly ungodly popular.

The Good: High production values, many updates are music videos with excellent music. Great character writing, especially in Act 5. Toby Fox, the creator of Undertale, did a lot of the music, and arguably isn’t even the best musician featured.

The Bad:The early part of the comic is brutally slow-paced, and is an impossible hurdle for some.

The Terrible: The ending is widely considered a major disappointment, and attempts to turn the comic into a franchise have been met with mixed reviews. The prose epilogues are deeply divisive.

Content Warning: A lot gorier than you might expect, mitigated by the cartoony art style, abusive relationships, the epilogue is just generally gross.

You should read it if: You want to see what the hell all those kids in grey face-paint at anime conventions were about

You should also consider: Just getting the music off the bandcamp, it’s really good.

Homestuck 2

What is it: A “dubiously canon” sequel to Homestuck, following from The Homestuck Epilogues, made by a different creative team. Follows two intersecting future timelines

The Good: The art is quite nice, and the new characters are fun and likable. Very bold in its ideas, for better or for worse it’s rarely boring. One of the few webcomics to be able to integrate trigger warnings clearly while remaining non-obtrusive with them. Faster-paced than the original Homestuck (low bar!) and has a few clever presentation ideas. Willing to be its own thing. If you’re worried it’s just “Homestuck 1 but more of it”, this is not that.

The Bad: Not at all a stand-alone comic, Homestuck 2 is completely incoherent if you’re not familiar with Homestuck 1 and the Homestuck Epilogues. Does not have the big multimedia productions Homestuck 1 was known for. Beloved characters from Homestuck 1 can come off really badly, which upsets a lot of people. If you’re looking for “Homestuck 1 but more of it”, this is not that.

The Terrible: At times, this comic is actively trying to piss off the readership by dragging out unpopular plot revelations. I actually like this about it, but unsurprisingly a lot of people don’t.

You should read it if: If you have to ask “Should I read Homestuck 2?”, the answer is probably “No”. This is a comic for people who are riding the Homestuck train to the bitter end.

You should also consider: Reading my Liveblog of it

Kiwi Blitz ⭐

What is it: A precocious young girl gets a Kiwi-shaped robot and decides to become a superhero ridding the world of nefarious furries. More of a cute character drama than a superhero comic, and more of a superhero comic than a mecha one.

The Good: Cute artstyle. Not without dramatic stakes, but fairly light and fun throughout minus a few people getting shot. The android 42 is stand-out great character.

The Bad: Prone to long hiatuses as the author's main comic is now Sleepless Domain.

You should read it if: You liked Sleepless Domain, and are looking for a somewhat lighter comic by the same author.

Latchkey Kingdom ⭐

What is it: A girl goes on adventures in a magical land of idiots

The Good: Good but not overbearing comedy. Tight chapters. Strong side characters

The Bad: Thanks in part to Patron-backed stories in between the “main” chapters, can feel like an episodic series with no main character or driving plot

The Neutral: Willa is a semi-silent protagonist, and often gets overshadowed by the wacky people she meets. Cerberus Syndrome, executed well

You should read it if: You like adventure, silly characters, and jokes about Dark Souls.

Leasebound

What is it: Two lesbians are contrived into sharing an apartment, then the comic becomes a polemic about how trans people are evil. The second-best TERF webcomic on this list

The Good: This comic has no redeeming qualities

The Bad: It’s hella transphobic, and not even particularly interesting about it the way Sinfest can be. Everything that’s not hateful is boring, and the comic is practically going “Go on, be offended, blog about me, give me atteeeennnnttttiiiiiooooonnn!”

You should read it if: You really shouldn’t, and I’m not linking to it

Least I Could Do

What is it: Rayne Summers is the best at everything and you should listen to him

The Good: This comic updates on time regularly. Sometimes it updates without word balloons by accident, making it surreally funny

The Bad: Poorly thought-out political rants; few jokes, severe overuse of beat panels, copy-pasted art.

The Terrible: Designed to go viral, not to be entertaining; makes panels wordless just so they can be used as preview images

You should read it if: You have committed horrible sins and wish to atone

Legend of the Hare

What is it: I wrote this! A white trash loser girl is peer pressured into becoming a magical girl by a pair of pushy rabbits. A spinoff of the print comic Blade Bunny, written and drawn by the current creative team of Saffron and Sage.

The Good: Bouncy and cartoony art. Strong and memorable characters. Very weird and freewheeling.

The Bad: The plot is an absolute mess, stalling out and even going backwards at times, though it mostly comes together at the end. The tone is wildly inconsistent.

The Terrible: Kind of South-Parky in its humor sometimes

You should read it if: You like Saffron and Sage and want to see a comic by the same team when they were less experienced.

Nan Quest ⭐

What is it: In this spiritual sequel to Ruby Quest, a goat girl electrician sets out to fix a broken fuzebox and ends up ensnared in a psychological horror conspiracy.

The Good: Much more effective use of the simple MS Paint art style, with more color and some simple animations (animated panels being marked [A], a convention Homestuck would later adopt for its [S] sound panels). The characters are better fleshed out than in Ruby Quest, and the horror is more effective as well, with less gore and more tension.

The Bad: Though used effectively, the art is still MS Paint doodles. The story mechanics behind the mystery are much more ambiguous, which can be a plus.

Content Warning: Gore, threatened sexual violence.

You should read it if: You like Ruby Quest and/or psychological horror comics that can be read in a few hours.

Moby: Back from the Deep

What is it: A zombie killer whale attacks a small town.

The Good: The art is nice

The Bad: Egregious overuse of narration.

The Terrible: It’s a beat for beat ripoff of the movie Jaws, down to some characters having their names only marginally changed from their Jaws counterpart (e.g. “Alex Gardener” is the name of the Alex Kintner analogue)

You should read it if: You can’t find a Jaws torrent.

Mokepon ⭐

What is it: A dickhead teenager is forced on a Pokemon adventure, and learns a valuable lesson about friendship while being dragged into a criminal conspiracy. A Pokemon fanfic that’s somewhat darker than the source material (though not really “grimdark”)

The Good: Good action scenes, nice manga-style art. Notable improvement in art and storytelling over time. Atticus’ slow-burn character growth is satisfying.

The Bad: The early chapters are almost a completely different comic, and it takes a little while to find its groove.

You should read it if: You liked Pokemon Special

Monster Pulse ⭐

What is it: Kids’ internal organs become sentient external organs, and they have to keep it a secret from an evil orginization.

The Good: Cool twist on the surprisingly rare monster pet genre. Not afraid to upend the status quo

The Bad: No real obvious flaws, but if you don’t find the premise interesting, you probably won’t like it.

You should read it if: You were a fan of monster-pet stories like Digimon Tamers

The Monster Under The Bed

What is it: A teenager finds a demon girl under his bed, rom-com ensues

The Good: Cute anime-esque premise

The Bad: Gets progressively hornier to to point where I'm not sure if I should even leave it on this list. Egregious use of photos instead of drawing backgrounds, making outdoor scenes look awful

You should read it if: You like trashy Japanese animes

Narbonic ⭐

What is it: A shlubby loser gets a job working for a mad scientist. Mad sciencey things occur, and the comic experiences an incredible jump in quality in the back half

The Good: Short comic, comfy and easy to read. The best and most satisfying ending arc of any webcomic ever.

The Bad: Some “LOLRANDOM” humor, especially early on.

The Terrible: The first few comics are almost literally unreadable due to messy handwritten lettering and low quality scans.

You should read it if: You love seeing a story build to a proper conclusion, and you don’t mind a rough start.

Octopus Pie ⭐

What is it: Slice-of-life dramedy where twenty-somethings try to become adults and/or get laid while navigating New York life. Completed comic.

The Good: If you direct your attention above, you will see the incredible coloring. There are other comics that have better plots and even better characters, but Octopus Pie is uniquely good at hitting a mood. Occasionally does some infinite canvas stuff that’s neat.

The Bad: This is a comic about exploring ideas and kind of drifting around through life, and isn’t a big plot-focused comic with a lot of big dramatic reveals. Which I don’t think is bad, but it might not be your thing.

You should read it if: You liked stories about adults trying to figure out how to grow up, and like seeing characters age.

Out-of-Placers ⭐

What is it: A human man is turned into a female rat creature, and has to navigate a low-fantasy world while learning their incredibly stupid ways and trying to get himself back to normal.

The Good: Really good worldbuilding, with interesting, fleshed out, and unique fantasy races. There are licensed Dungeons and Dragons books with less cool ideas for a campaign in them.

The Bad: Can get kind of edgy in ways that don’t always work, and occasionally gets a bit gross. If the premise made you think it was a furry fetish comic, it’s not, but it keeps threatening to become one if you don’t whap it with a newspaper and say “No” very firmly every now and then.

You should read it if: Your favorite DnD race is kobolds.

Paranatural ⭐

What is it: Kids bust ghosts in a parody of shounen anime tropes

The Good: Good banter, creative panel layouts, and characters you want to root for.

The Bad: The story rapidly increases in scale, causing the pacing to slow down somewhat. The story later transitions to an illustrated prose format, which some people can't really get into.

You should read it if: You liked Bleach before it became Dragonball

Prequel -or- Making A Cat Cry: The Adventure ⭐

What is it: An Elder Scrolls fanfiction, in which an alcoholic catgirl heads to a new land to try to make a better life, and generally fails.

The Good: Inventive use of the web as a storytelling medium. Great character writing. Lovable protagonist. Excellent payoff to years or life kicking the protagonist in the face.

The Bad: Years of life kicking the protagonist in the face. Can thus be depressing, especially early on, sometimes to the point of being offensive (see Content Warnings)

The Terrible: Very slow and irratic update schedule

Content Warnings: Alcoholism, Depression, the protagonist gets blackout drunk and wakes up in bed next to strange men several times, which is played for comedy.

You should read it if: You like slow burn character development. You like stories where the protagonist has a hard time

Problem Sleuth

What is it: A detective tries to leave his office using user-submitted commands, and gets in a few tangents along the way. Mostly known now as “The thing Andrew Hussie did before Homestuck”, but it was a popular comic in its own right.

The Good: Much better art than most reader-driven comics, bizarre and clever, with a dramatic finish.

The Bad: Holy shit, you thought Homestuck meandered? Problem Sleuth will do nearly anything and everything readers asked him to do, and this is a veeeeeery convoluted comic that has thus aged somewhat poorly.

You should read it if: You thought Homestuck was best before the Trolls got involved.

Questionable Content

What is it: Humanity achieves a technological utopia in the background while hipsters in Massachusetts complain about their dating lives. Later begins focusing much more heavily on all the robots.

The Good: A rotating menagerie of quirky cute girls. Had a major trans character before it was cool.

The Bad: The comic kind of transitions from being about one thing to being about another thing several times, to the point where onetime protagonists show up less and less or even get dropped altogether in favor of the New Thing the comic is.

You should read it if: You want a comfy and diverse slice-of-life comic.

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ghostofskywalker · 1 year ago

Text

Don't Say "I Told You So"

Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Words: 1,739

Summary: Crosshair didn't need a relationship, and he had only agreed to this stupid service because all his brothers had done it as well. But a switch in his mind was flipped when he met you, he just doesn't want to admit it.

Note: this is my contribution to the fanfiction universe of @tcwmatchmakingau :) the canon divergence here is that the empire falls apart in its early days after palpatine bites it, which would still imply that crosshair spent some time in its service. i couldn't decide which clone i wanted to write so i picked six of my faves and rolled a die to decide - crosshair won :)

Clone Troopers Masterlist

“What are you looking to gain from our service today?” The overly bubbly woman asked Crosshair as he sat with his arms crossed in a chair that seemed entirely out of place in a tiny office like this. She was not bothered one bit by the way he so obviously did not want to be there, and there weren’t many people in the galaxy that could look so nonchalant on the receiving end of his annoyed expression.

“To get my brothers off my back,” he answered dryly, watching as she started to type something on her datapad.

“So you’re not looking for anything serious then?”

“What do you think?”

The woman behind the desk (she had introduced herself before, he just forgot her name) looked up at him with a glare that matched his in its intensity, and for a moment the change actually caught him off guard. “I have half a mind right now to set you up with the person I think you would dislike the most and ensure that you have the worst two hours of your life,” she said, her tone sharp and unwavering. “But since I am a professional, I will not do that. However, I expect to be afforded the same courtesy. I have a perfect track record with my matches for this company, but that does not mean I won’t throw it away for the chance to make you miserable, and that is certainly a threat. Do we understand each other?”

A silence fell over the room as her words sunk in. “Fine,” he said, swallowing his pride and allowing her to continue with the matchmaking interview. There was a part of him that wondered if he did indeed have a perfect match out there, even if he was (mostly) here because the rest of his squad had already gone through the process. Because anyone that managed to find someone who could willingly put up with Hunter was clearly some kind of Jedi, and there was another part of him that wanted to be the one to annoy his brothers, just as they had annoyed him with their new partners.

The interview was soon finished, and he left the office wondering what was going to come of all this. The woman (who had reverted back to the insufferably bubbly version of herself from the beginning) told Crosshair that someone would reach out to him with details about his date soon, even though he didn’t know if he believed her. There couldn’t be anyone in their little catalog who would willingly go on a date with him, this had to be some kind of scam.

***

But somehow the unthinkable happened, and from what Echo said when he heard Crosshair had gotten a message, it had happened in record time. And even now, if it weren't for the fact that his brothers were all stationed outside the restaurant, he might have run away before ever stepping foot inside. Wrecker would have simply just picked him up and walked him inside anyway, and that would be ever more embarrassing than simply just accepting his fate and not trying to escape.

He wasn’t given much information about you or the date, other than your first name and the fact that a table had been reserved for you two at a restaurant on the top level of Coruscant. It wasn’t the nicest place in the world, but Crosshair appreciated that there didn’t seem to be an intense pressure to get perfectly dressed up, especially since he only had a limited amount of clothing at this time. He also had a sneaking suspicion that you had picked the spot, because none of the others had ever heard of the place when he told them where he was going.

Despite the fact that he didn’t really think any kind of relationship was going to come from this, he still found himself slightly worried about how you were going to perceive him. Even though the war was over and clones were fully recognized as citizens, it was hard for him to believe that anyone would willing want to go on a date with him. He could understand how his brothers were able to find romance, they weren’t as broken as he was, and they were having a much easier time adjusting to their new lives outside of military service.

When he gave the person standing at the front of the restaurant his name, they smiled and told him to follow, as his date for the evening was already here. He was hoping that he could get by without the staff knowing the true reason he was there, but it didn’t seem like that was going to happen. The sound of his comm device buzzing caught Crosshair’s attention, and he looked down at his wrist to see a message from Hunter.

Don’t kriff this up.

But of course he didn’t have time to send anything back before he had arrived at his table for the evening. Caught off guard by your beauty, he forgot for a moment that he didn’t reallu want to be there. “Hi,” you greeted him as he sat down. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

There was another version of him vying for control of his body right now, that was cruel and vindictive and could never believe that you were here to see him. And as much as he wished that version of him had died with the Empire, that was simply not the case, and he fought hard to push those thoughts away. Maybe he would never be as bright and as joyful as Wrecker, but you did not deserve to spend time with a sour version of him, especially when none of the issues he had were your fault.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he said. “Why did you sign up to do this?”

You laughed. “Honestly? My friends pushed me to sign up for an interview.”

“My brothers practically forced me to do this,” he said, watching as a smile crossed your face.

“Wow, I guess we both don’t want to be here, huh?”

Five minutes ago, Crosshair would have earnestly confirmed your statement and suggested that you go your separate ways. But now, he found himself wanting to stay, even though he had no idea how to respond. “I suppose not.”

“But since this meal has already been paid for, I think we should stay.” Thank the Maker for that suggestion.

Of course, he had to keep up appearances. “I’m fine with that.”

As the date continued, conversation moved like one of the Coruscant Guard’s massif puppies: tentative but determined, and the more Crosshair spoke to you, the more he realized how much you complemented each other.

It was so much more complicated than the roles of sun and moon, because neither of you perfectly fit into either image. You had a macabre streak to rival the dry quips he often subjected his brothers to, but there was also a brightness to your personality that he found himself desperate to learn about. As you shared stories about past relationships and told him all about the work you do, he found himself wondering how in Sith Hells it was possible that through one interview (that he didn’t even take seriously) someone had managed to find him someone like you.

The food was certainly a step up from the things he ate during the war, and the two of you indulged in drinks that were brightly colored and sickly sweet. If this was 79’s and his brothers were around, he might have cared about what they would say as they watched him take sips of a lavender colored liquid. But here, the only person whose opinion mattered to him was you, and the way you smiled as you tasted the drink for the first time was something he didn’t want to forget.

When it was time to leave, he waited with you for a hovertaxi and waved you off before heading back to the apartment he now shared with his brothers. It didn’t seem like the rest of the squad had stayed outside the restaurant for the entire night (like they had threatened to do), and Crosshair was glad for the time alone with his thoughts.

He wanted to see you again, that much was certain. The two of you had exchanged comm frequencies, and there were already tentative plans in place for the two of you to see a holofilm together sometimes, but nothing was set in stone. He knew his brothers weren’t going to let him off without interrogating him when he stepped through the doorway, so he also prepared what he was going to say.

And like he expected, Omega was the only one not waiting for him when he opened the door. The rest of the team was sitting at the table, as if they were waiting for him, and the questions began to spill out of his brothers’ mouths.

“How was it?”

“Did you like her?”

“Are you going on another date?”

“We were right, weren’t we?”

Crosshair took a seat at the table and waited for the rapid fire questioning to stop. “It wasn’t terrible.”

Hunter scoffed. “Come on, you’ve got to give us more than that!”

“No, I don’t actually,” he said. “You all forced me to do this and now it’s done.”

Echo spoke next. “At least tell us if you’re going to go out again with her, then we’ll leave you alone.”

Crosshair sighed. He wanted to lie, but he knew that eventually the truth would find a way to worm its way out into the open, and the teasing would be worse then. “Nothing is confirmed, but maybe.”

“YES!”

“I knew it!”

“You all owe me 10 credits now!”

In the midst of his brothers’ joy, the sound of his comm device beeping distracted Crosshair. He looked down to see a message from a new frequency, which he immediately knew must be you.

If you were serious about going to a holofilm, do you want to see one with me tomorrow?

He couldn’t help but smile as he typed out an affirmative reply, and that tiny change in his expression did not go unnoticed by Hunter. “Aww look Echo, Crosshair’s in loooooooove!”

“Shut up,” was the sniper’s response, but he didn’t refute the statement.

Maybe these matchmaker services really did work after all.

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

#tcw matchmaking au #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #clone trooper x reader

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volturilovers · 1 year ago

Text

How you meet your mate Demetri Volturi

This is my first demetri imagine. english isn't my first language so it might not be the best thing you have read but

Y/n POV

I was walking around the castle. The kings have been alerted that I was Demetris mate and human after he found me. They came to an agreement that I could remain human for a limited amount of time since it wasn’t the best time to change me. I can still remember the day we met quite clearly.

flashback

I was shivering in the cold, it had started snowing. I had stupidly forgot to check the weather app. It is a well known fact that Sweden had unpredictable weather especially this early in the spring. One day it can be snowing or be sunny with no clouds in the sky. This morning the weather was sunny so I stupidly assumed that the weather would be good for the rest of the day. I was wrong since the temperature dropped to just a few degrees celsius above zero.

I was walking fast, taking a shortcut this cloudy and snowy day hoping that I won't get hypothermia before I reached my apartment. I was so lost in my thoughts that I suddenly bumped into someone hard chest.

"I am so sorry that i bumped into you, I was di-."

When I looked into his eyes I suddenly couldn't speak. I was struck by his beauty and felt a sudden attraction and my heart started thumping faster, I couldn't look away from his eyes. I forgot entirely that my clothes were getting wet since I didn't move when after I fell to the ground. His face held a suprised expression but also a glimse of curiousity. It was like we both forgot our surroundings and we were the only people in this world.

He was the first to snap out of it. Seeing me on the ground he offered me his hand to help me up.

"I am sorry it was my fault, are you okay miss?" he said inquiring me about my name.

"Y/N, Y/N L/N is my name" I said as I took his hand, he helped me back on my feet.

"My name is Demetri Volturi. it's nice to meet you" he bowed as he introduced himself giving me a charming smile. before looking me up and down in concern. " You are shivering. are you okay miss Y/N"

Not wanting to worry him I said I was fine. I was on my way home. He offered me his coat.

"You don't have to. I am fine really"

"I insist. You need the coat more than me. trust me" he said with a genuine smile.

"thank you" I gave him a smile, taking the coat he offered, hesitantly.I felt much better wearing the coat.

" These streets are generally unsafe, I would be honored to accompany you on your way home to assure you making it home safely."

I thought about it looking at him to see if he looked suspicious. Normally I would say no but something told me I could trust him so I answered him with a nod. And then we were on our way to my house.

He walked with me the entire way to my house. We were having a delightful conversation, learning some things about one another. He was Italian and was on a business trip and visiting his cousins that lived in the city, but too soon for my liking we got to my house and it was time to say our goodbyes.

"Thank you for walking me home, see you around?" I told him with a smile, wishing the distance to my house was much longer so we didn't have to finish the conversation since the probability that we would meet again is slim.

"I will see you around. I have some business to attend to before going backn to Italy, I hope we can have more conversations like this sometime"

This was a start of a beautiful relationship

—————————————————————————————-

A/N

How was my portrayal of Demetri? Leave your thoughts in my inbox or in the comment section. Do you want a part 2 but with Demetri’s experience of the event or a similar imagine but with another character. My inbox is open to requests. It might take time to make these imagines since I am taking courses and are generally very busy. Another Demetri imagine is on its way.

Bye lovelies❤️

#demetri volturi #demetri volturi imagine #demetri volturi x reader #the volturi #the volturi coven #the volturi guard #twilight #the twilight saga #twilight breaking dawn #twilight eclipse #twilight new moon #not requested

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coeurcanelle · 5 months ago

Text

☆Baby,the stars shine bright☆pt6

pt5

inspired by the 'kamikaze girls',♡ always had unconditional love for lolita fashion and nothing else but when she met ellie,an auburn haired girl whos part of a gang with a dad's fashion sense ,her love for clothes begins to compete with her growing feelings for ellie

strangers to friends to lovers,love-hate friendship,opposite aesthetics,early 2000s

wlw,fluff

wc:8k

loud scream was heard all around the house, immediately waking up Ellie. The bed was empty beside her, and you were nowhere to be seen in her room, so she ran to search for you.

Mars ran away from the bathroom door, using the chairs in the living room as her hiding spot. Ellie's eyes drifted from her cat to the bathroom door. She approached it, turning the doorknob while imagining the worst.

There she found you.

"wat's wrong with you? don't tell me you got jumpscared by a spider or something."

Mixed emotions washed over her: relief and confusion. She hated waking up to clock alarms, but your screaming was by far the worst. She was even more puzzled seeing you standing next to the large mirror, holding the same bonnet you wore yesterday.

"it's worse than that," your voice filled with sorrow, making Ellie furrow her eyebrows in confusion. Only her fear of spiders could make her scream like that. But when you clearly showed her the small holes in your bonnet, she didn't need any clearer explanation for your reaction.

Your ears quickly turned red when you saw Ellie raising one eyebrow at you; you might have overreacted. "sorry, but if you think about it, it's not entirely my fault."

Ellie scoffed. How was she to blame?

It was you who fell on your own that night you both left the casino. If you didn’t call her the names you did, she wouldn’t have chased after you. She didn't need to lift a finger to make you regret your words, not when gravity became your worst enemy at that moment.

"you're such a drama queen. Just get a new one. Besides, what's done is done. At least next time you'll watch your mouth before calling me stupid names." Her hand still reached to grab your bonnet, wanting to know if it was that badly messed up for you to react so negatively.

"you sure don't get anything in fashion. It was a limited edition, dumbass." You handed the accessory to her. Since it had gotten into a mediocre state, its worth was now reduced to nothing to you. It would finally meet its destined fate and be thrown in the trash.

Carefully, Ellie inspected your item and even tried to slide her fingers through the small holes.

"well, you're definitely not a smartass for wearing this AND trying to annoy the shit out of me." Her fingers swiftly passed through the holes; she wiggled them at you, doing a good job of pissing you off.

It was just morning, and you could already feel grumpiness sticking with you all day.

You snatched your bonnet out of Ellie's hands, earning a smug grin from her that you couldn't snatch away from her face. "you're so fucking immature."

All you wanted to do was to go home and start all of this over, wishing for a miracle and hoping to find the exact same bonnet in any nearby shops.

"you can't call me that too." Ellie crossed her arms and blocked the way out of the bathroom so you couldn't leave, even if you truly didn't want to.

You were for sure overreacting, and Ellie wasn't going to let you be all grumpy to her, not when she thought of a solution to help you and not when both of you spent a dreamlike night yesterday.

The clock was ticking 9 am, signaling it was her breakfast time, but the only thing she needed at the moment was that smile of yours to make a comeback.

So she suggested: '"you know what, I'll let that slide because you're-your hat's cute."

"bonnet" you corrected.

"whatever. Just give it to me. I don't know anyone around who can do it for free, so I'll try to fix it up."Her words were anything but convincing to you. "plus, embroidery is like stitching someone up except with fabric. I'm sure I can do this with my eyes closed." she sounded more confident until she saw reluctance reappearing on your face at the last sentence.

"It's fine"*you're going to mess it up even more* you carefully didn't add.

Ellie wanted to help, and she started to get desperate. Fashion wasn't something she was particularly interested in, but she was certainly interested in you.

The way your face would beam at the sight of Lolita dresses, the way you'd work hard (scam) to get money for the sole purpose of upgrading your wardrobe, and the way you looked in the clothes you liked didn't go unnoticed by Ellie,in fact,there was nothing else she liked more than seeing you happy.

It was at this moment she also realized your connection was so strong she started to match your emotions too, and the last thing she wanted right now was to feel sad because you did.

"just give me one chance," she said, letting herself get carried away by the waves of love and affection. It was undoubted that she would do anything for you. "and if it doesn't look fashionable enough, you can lock me in your basement and leave me dying of hunger and boredom."

Your lips curved into a smile at the inside joke. "you're lucky I'm not as unhinged as you", after debating whether or not you should let Ellie fix your bonnet, you reluctantly gave it to her to put an end to her persistence, but not without lessening your worries.

Ellie was thankful that you trusted her, and now that your bonnet's future was placed in her hands, with hope and determination, she would give it to you all fixed up to thank you back.

"damn, you can't take a joke, can you? I don't even have a basement and even if I did— i mean..do you see me doing this kind of stuff? thats just fucking crazy. What kind of psycho would do that just for getting scammed?"Her tone was exaggeratedly bewildered as if it was something morally unthinkable, as if she didn't joke about it last night.

"It doesn't sound that unbelievable since you did think about it." Your arms crossed and you straightened your back. You recalled Ellie's serious face from last night and how she easily sent shivers down your spine. Your opinion today hasn't changed; you still found her kinda hot. "trust me, those psychos think exactly like you. They're just a little more deranged."

A sigh escaped her lips as she inspected your item, using her imagination to figure out how to sew the small holes. But if you kept teasing her, she would start to reconsider helping you.

"you can play this spot-the-difference game and all you want. You could do the same with your hat and Joel's socks once I'm done fixing it."

Yesterday, when you passed through the kitchen, the open windows offered a view of the small garden outside. The hung-up clothes slightly moved back and forth with the wind, and a few holey socks were strongly attached to the cord.

Now you know who they belonged to.

"please don't."

☆°☆•°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

With eyebrows pulled together, focused eyes, and gentle yet ineffective movements, Ellie’s determination wasn’t enough against her lack of experience. Many things that looked easy often revealed themselves to be the complete opposite.

Some stitches were too tight while others were too loose; Ellie had difficulty hand-sewing up the hole.

You both had left Joel's house to head to your own, not expecting to see your dad bringing people into the house too. It turned out he had finally found a job—something that wasn’t drastically different from what he used to do before but made him satisfied. However, you never imagined he’d once find money through being a fortune teller. But only a scammer like him didn’t mind looking absurd while predicting obvious events that eventually occur in everyone’s life.

You had led Ellie to your room at the end of the corridor and now you were sitting at the edge of your bed, with your face resting in the palm of your hand when you weren’t leaning over your desk, taking a closer look at what she was doing.

If it wasn’t for her kindness and how adorable she looked, you would have definitely taken back your bonnet already, not letting her continue her terrible job at pushing the thread in and out.

Since it was her first time doing something like this, she judged the uneven stitches to be fine, while you grimaced at the sight of them.

After finishing one hole, Ellie turned to you and held the bonnet up to you expectantly.

Your lips pressed into a thin line quickly formed an embarrassed smile.

You didn’t know what to say.

“is my work so good it got you speechless, or you don’t wanna say anything because you envy my skills?” Her grin was cocky despite her awful work. You had to do something about it (both her cockiness and her work).

“I’ll give it a 2/10 for effort and also because it’s your first try.” Your bluntness instantly made her cocky grin disappear, her lips pressed into a thin line instead.

“never meaner... and why not 3?” Ellie asked for justification. She had spent a hot minute trying to copy what you had shown her, but she couldn’t even get through the basics.

You wanted to laugh at her desperation. “maybe you’re right, I should reconsider...” You pretended to think as you put your finger on your chin, not surprising Ellie with your comeback, “1/10.”

“alright, for effort or first try?” she asked as if your answer was going to have life-changing consequences.

“whatever helps you sleep at night,” you shrugged your shoulders and tried to think of what to do with your ruined accessory. Now that Ellie had tried to help, you didn’t want it to end its life in the trash. “I’ll do it myself, I can’t stand seeing my bonnet like this.”

“then sit,” she didn’t fail to make you roll your eyes at her, smirking in return.

After giving it some thought—something Ellie is highly unlikely to do—you carefully removed the thread Ellie had stitched on the hole, throwing away 30 minutes of hard work and determination.

You told her you had another idea when you heard her dramatic gasp, and all she could do was trust the process.

As your hands were busy hand-sewing, your mind brought you back to a memory that still felt like a vivid dream.

The scent of Ellie on her clothes that you were wearing, her playing the melody of your favorite song, and her strong arms embracing you.

You slightly shook your head.

No.

One thing was in fact from a vivid dream.

At least you still got to wear her clothes, get her to play your favorite song for you, and even gaze at the stars while your heartbeats rhythmically synced.

However, you couldn’t ignore the painful pang in your chest when you remembered her embracing you with affection was just a dream.

You wanted her to hold you like this in real life too.

Once again, you shook your head to arrange your thoughts.

You were so crazy about her that the lines between imagination and reality uncontrollably started to blur!

Then 1... 2, and soon 5 petals were meticulously sewn around the hole. You had never thought of doing something so original before; maybe it was because you felt Ellie’s attentive gaze on you.

You made sewing look so easy while she struggled to get one stitch right.

Thoughts like "maybe if I'm better at this, I could make her like me more" resurfaced in Ellie’s head again.

At first, it was envy, but her admiration for you made her gradually seek approval from you, which wasn’t any easier.

Her mind was still filled with the newfound memories of yesterday: how good you looked in her clothes, the way your eyes would sparkle under the moonlight, and the sound of your uncontrollable laughter when she’d tell you something stupid. This was the recipe for making her heart melt. Words weren’t enough to perfectly describe how happy she felt, knowing she was the reason behind your bright smile.

One night wasn’t enough to satisfy her; she wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

Maybe tonight you could hopefully recreate yesterday again, even better?

Caught staring at you, Ellie snapped her thoughts away and drifted her eyes away from you.

You had noticed Ellie’s devotion to proving herself to you, but you were against it, believing this whole comparing thing was pointless when you liked her just the way she was.

“there are about 2 holes left,” you stated, reaching your hand out for Ellie to grab your bonnet. “here, take the needle. I’ll teach you how to make flower petals instead.”

Ellie’s hand didn’t budge, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. “bet you could do this with your eyes closed after some time,” you added before taking her hand to place your unfinished accessory in it.

She scoffed as her eyes glanced at what she was holding, the pressure to be successful coming back “I don’t think you actually want me to do that.”

“hey, you might be slow, but you’ll get the hang of it at some point,” you reassured her.

You always believed that humans were gifted with potential; they just tended to limit themselves.

Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to have something handmade from the girl you liked. “Also, my hands are getting sore.”

“so, you’re basically using me? didnt know you were like this” she exclaimed with a smirk.

“you literally begged to help me.”

"omg, I literally didn’t... why’d you—I wasn’t even that desperate.”

And the teasing went on and on until she started to turn her attention back to your bonnet.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Once again, getting attention was something you were used to by now. You've seen so few people wearing lolita clothes that you could count them on one hand, so it was a normal reaction for people to curiously stare at you. Hence, you brushed it off when you felt the employee from your favorite clothing shop's eyes on you.

"maybe it's been a while since she last had a customer," you thought.

Totally lost in your own world, you shuffled through the stunning dresses crafted with luxurious fabrics and adorned with intricate lace, pearls, and embroidery details that were to die for.

Since Joel didn't want to spend his time shopping at the convenience store, he had sent you and Ellie with a list of things that mostly consisted of food. But after you were done with the task Joel had given you, you couldn’t wait any longer to visit the Baby, the Stars Shine Bright shop nearby, which you judged to be the best shop to ever exist in the world.

After taking a quick look at their newest collection in their showcases, you didn't waste a single second and stepped in.

Ellie aimlessly followed you around, carrying the plastic bag containing your groceries with one hand and holding yours with the other, languidly dragging her feet.

After finding your happiness, you headed towards the cashier. Faint dimples appeared on both sides of her cheeks as she smiled, enlightened to see you again. You dropped Ellie's hand as you paid for a brand new white headband, and the same employee from earlier approached you, as pleasant as the cashier, but her staring started to make you self-conscious.

"is there anything else you need, miss?" she asked, her eyes not leaving your bonnet. You readjusted it a bit nervously.

"that will be all for today, thank you" you returned an awkward smile. The employee felt sorry for her persistent gaze, but she needed to take a closer look at your accessory.

"is this bonnet purchased from here?" The employee thought it was strongly similar to one bonnet from their previous collection, except it didn't have embroidered flower petals adorning it.

She received a silent response with a positive nod from you, and you suddenly became shy.

The employee rapidly called another worker, "regina, come here, you have to look at this!"

In just a span of seconds, you became the center of attention of the whole place. Everyone was looking and pointing at the details on your bonnet, still sitting at the top of your head.

They were women with taste, and you hoped the surprise painting their faces didn't mean something about the retouches looking horrendous.

A feeling of reassurance washed over you when they started to praise you.

"beautiful, beautiful!"

"did you make this yourself? You truly are talented!"

"i wish I was this creative and knew how to do embroidery as well," they all exclaimed enthusiastically as their eyes shifted from your creation to your face repeatedly, admiring your bonnet like it was a piece of art displayed in a far-famed museum.

You were far from accustomed to getting praises, and Ellie wondered why they were all acting so excited over an accessory.

But when you told them she had helped you fix your bonnet up, all eyes turned to her, flattering her with praises as well.

One of the employees managed to get the boss out of his office upstairs, leading him to you.

It felt like time instantly stopped.

You couldn't believe what was happening.

The CEO of your favorite clothing brand, walking up to you?

It must be a dream, right?

You were too busy trying to distinguish your imagination from reality to react when he asked if he could take a closer look, suggesting you hand your bonnet to him.

Your legs suddenly felt heavy, and your vision started to darken though you had your eyes open.

You weren't here.

"wow, this is beyond wonderf-" The man didn't even have time to compliment your work before you helplessly fainted on the floor.

Alarm bells went off in Ellie’s mind. Standing beside you, she rushed down to catch your head before it could harshly hit the 'white tile,' blaming your sudden unconscious state on the tall man.

"what a reaction for a burst of joy," she sighed as she slightly shook you in an attempt to bring you back to her.

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It didn't take long to wake up, but wake up from what? Because right now, you could literally say you're living a dream.

Ellie's heart returned to its normal pace. "are you alright?" she softly asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear to see your awakened face more clearly.

"yeah." The realization that you had fainted in front of everyone, especially the CEO of your favorite shop, made you extremely embarrassed. After a moment, you slowly stood up, cleared your throat, and turned to the girl who had just saved your life. "you?"

Your unnecessary concern for Ellie elicited a light chuckle from her. "thanks for asking, but you're the one who nearly passed out here."

The whole room was filled with awkward and short laughs. The feeling of embarrassment flashed across your face once again, and you refused to look ahead and meet the eyes of the man who had created the source of your happiness.

Your fixed bonnet was still held by his hands. His eyes darted from you to it, with many questions eager for answers popping into his mind.

Curiosity bubbled up inside him as he wondered how one's mind could go that far and how you and your friend had created such a wonderful replica of what you had just imagined. His mind was like bubbles of curiosity ready to explode.

He carefully approached you and Ellie, offering you praise and asking various questions.

Ellie's eyes never left your face, studying every single feature as you did your best to answer as clearly as possible. Her heart swelled uncontrollably with warmth when you'd mention her helping you a lot.

After what seemed like a lifetime to Ellie, he finished interviewing you both.

He just needed one thing from you.

The sight of his hopeful and impatient eyes made your heart burn with anticipation. You tried to control your breathing, which quickened its pace, refusing to succumb to the menacing fainting.

"with an imagination and talent like yours, it would be regretful for it to go to waste," he stated, reaching out to return your item. But he didn't hand it to you when your hands nervously grabbed for it. "I wish to hire you as an embroiderer. What do you think?"

Your mind was flooded with racing thoughts about working here.

It seemed like the ideal workplace, but was it truly your ideal job?

"I just love wearing cute clothes, not necessarily making them," you confessed after a moment of silence. The female employees exchanged glances, curiosity on their faces as they wondered why such a talented person would pass up such a fortunate opportunity.

Refusing to let this be your final words, Ellie gently touched your shoulder, encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. "are you serious? Do you realize i know how to do embroidery thanks to you? me...someone who couldn't even hold a needle without shaking and pricking my finger" Ellie took your hand, squeezing it as she urged, "this is your chance, dont fuck it up"

Refusing wasn’t an option when such a suggestion came from the CEO of your all-time favorite brand, but hearing the desperation in Ellie’s voice made you accept right away.

Working in your favorite place, surrounded by stunning dresses and accessories, and earning money from it was literally a dream job. To you, it wasn't as if he was asking you for something but rather offering you a present. You told him you could work from 8 to 6, Monday to Friday.

His eyebrows furrowed in refusal, and he thoughtfully reduced the amount of work hours since you were currently on summer break.

And just like that, you left the shop with the same smile you entered with, except it was slightly wider and brighter than usual. The realization that this dream-like moment was indeed a reality would hit you later.

You walked down the streets with ellie,both of you not knowing where to go and just mindlessly following each other.

"uh, where exactly are we going right now?" Ellie questioned, her eyes squinting at the bright sunlight directly assaulting her face.

"I don't know. I was following you." You stopped mid-track and tried to put your mind on pause. The scenes from earlier replayed in your head non-stop.

"don't freak out, but I kinda don't have a sense of direction when it comes to wandering in places I don't know." A tired sigh escaped from Ellie's mouth. When she turned around, she couldn't even recognize where you both had come from.

But this place wasn't more unrecognizable than you. It felt like your soul had left your body since you passed out, that it had stayed in 'Baby, the Stars Shine Bright,' and that you were now working on autopilot.

Ellie's eyes fell on the white summer houses around you. With such little details to distinguish them from one another, they all looked awfully similar.

Silence reigned over the avenue, unlike your mind, which was anything but quiet at this moment. "ellie," she directly shifted her gaze from the houses to you, more worried about your overwhelmed state than the fact that you were lost. "god is real."

Pure confusion replaced her worry in a split second. "what the fuck are you on? I told you, you should never try smoking."

"listen, I'm serious." Your hands found their way to her shoulders, an attempt to make her carefully listen to you. "I received his blessings, and since I'm blessed and you're my friend, it means you can be too."

If she wasn't sober right now, maybe she would have taken you a little bit more seriously.

"friend?" Her voice carried genuine surprise; she realized she forgot to ask you what you both were after last night.

"so I would be cursed if I happened to be your girlfriend?" She tried to hide her genuine surprise with sarcasm and get a possible hint from you.

Her delusional side convinced her you were her soon-to-be girlfriend, that you followed her around because you loved her, and that your love language was annoying her,secretly liking the way she looks when you succeeded.

"what? no, I mean—my point is..." Ellie's heart felt less heavy seeing you avoiding eye contact suddenly, her lips curving into a proud smile knowing the effects she had on you. "I'll help you find the founder of your gang. I can also sew your gang's name on your jacket sleeve."

At first, she didn't know why. But the pieces of the puzzle started to connect together as she realized she was your only friend.

"you don't have to look for some designer to do it for you," you continued.

It was like playing baseball with her being good at throwing the ball and you not knowing how to properly catch it.

When Ellie was openly affectionate to you, you didn't know how to receive it.

Ellie smiled a bit. "Are you sure you don't mind doing it? I mean...no pressure, okay?"

How could you know how to receive love when you didn't even know what it was to begin with?

Your parents separated when you hadn't even hit puberty, and no amount of romance novels could make up for the lack of experience of a strong and passionate bond between people in love.

For this reason, you never truly knew what that feeling was.

To make things worse, whenever you felt yourself falling for something close to love, you would unforgivingly push it and the person involved away.

Even though your mom had cheated on your father, she was still the one who had welcomed you to this world. The guilt has never left you when you chose to live with your dad over your mom, although he was a good and loving person.

You couldn't put a face onto the word 'love,' and it gradually became meaningless to you, an unfamiliar word you'd come across when flipping pages in a dictionary. But as time went by, you had rediscovered it and put clothes onto it that were also the definition of your happiness.

"I want to do it for you," you smiled back.

But if all of this was in a book, Ellie would be the major plot twist. Her definition of happiness was short and precise: you.

Ellie reached her hand out to take yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. " 'kay, if you're in, you have to promise me something."

Love hurts when one-sided. If her definition of happiness was you, she had to change your definition of happiness and add herself in it too.

If you've never learned how to receive affection, that's okay. She'd proudly volunteer to teach you and only you.

"promise me," her eyes bore into yours expectantly, "that you'll never leave me."

Because, from you, she's learned that it wasn't impossible for love to go with happiness and that pain could step out of their business.

At least, that's how she felt about you.

"of course, I promise." You stuck out your pinkie, but to your surprise, Ellie didn't.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around you before pulling you into her embrace.

Your warm hearts beat faster in sync by the second, exploding in affection.

Except Ellie's heart missed a beat when you hugged her back. She never knew she needed it until now.

Her hair smelled like vanilla, and her body felt so warm against yours.

Both of you stayed like that for God knows how long. You had lost the notion of time, and it was the least of your concerns at this moment.

Her arms were over your shoulder, a sign that she deeply trusted you.

Pulling you out of your reverie, a red Suzuki Wagon drove past the both of you. Your arms stayed on hers for a little longer, an unspoken and double-meaning promise that you'd never let her go even if she did.

It seemed the car came from the same place you both were, meaning you weren't totally lost.

So after turning on your heels, both of you started to walk your way out of the unknown avenue, hand in hand.

In the end, everything turned out fine, and you soon found your way back to Tokyo.

This time,despite the comfortable silence it was ellies mind who couldnt keep quiet.

Her giddy smile not leaving her face ever since she wrapped her arms around you,as well as the warmth in her heart.

For how long will she able to keep her feelings locked in her heart?

Though your hug meant an unbreakable promise bonding you two,she hoped it also meant something more.

She cleared her throat,when you both stopped at the train station,it was surprisingly sparse of people for such a busy time.

"so like...you have a thing for tall guys or...?"

The sight of the tall man holding your bonnet in admiration and you fainting right after this flashed before your eyes"oh my god shut up"you retorted,rolling your eyes at her whose eyes shortly sparkled with hope.

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This time, despite the comfortable silence, it was Ellie’s mind that couldn’t keep quiet. Her giddy smile hadn’t left her face ever since she wrapped her arms around you, and warmth filled her heart.

For how long would she be able to keep her feelings locked away?

Though your hug symbolized an unbreakable promise bonding you two, she hoped it also meant something more.

She cleared her throat as you both stopped at the train station, surprisingly sparse of people for such a busy time. “so like… do you have a thing for tall guys or…?”

The sight of the tall man holding your bonnet in admiration, and you fainting right after, flashed before your eyes. “oh my god, shut up,” you retorted, rolling your eyes at her, whose eyes shortly sparkled with hope.

☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°☆°

“…but still… you’ve never fainted like that when you first saw me.”

After stopping at Joel’s to drop off what you had bought before, both you and Ellie returned to your house, which was quieter than usual.

Your empty schedule became busy in the blink of an eye. With a brand new simple white dress needing final touches and the famous gang name to sew in under three days, there wasn’t a single second to waste. Not to mention that traveling across the country to find the mysterious gang founder was also on your ambitious list.

“why would I?”

Turning your attention away from the jacket sleeve, your eyes shifted to Ellie instead.

“maybe 'cause I carry a tremendous amount of swagger like nobody else can in this world,” her voice sarcastically filled with confidence. She said this like it was an obvious fact, and you couldn’t really disagree.

Someone who clearly doesn’t know what they’re doing but lets themselves be guided by adrenaline and curiosity. Someone who doesn’t mind taking risks as if their life could be restarted by passing a video game checkpoint. Someone who didn’t mind getting lost in the most unknown places as long as it was with you.

As much as you tried to think, no words could perfectly describe Ellie’s unequaled aura.

But you weren’t going to let her know that, not when you liked teasing her so much. “you’re still not the CEO of Baby, the Stars Shine Bright.”

“you’re right,” she started before looking away, gathering inspiration from her heart. “But I’m the CEO of making you smile.” You proved her point as your lips immediately curved into one, as if her words put a spell on you.

“It shines brighter than any star too,” she added with a playful wink, mentally cheering for having the courage to compliment you. It was a small, yet hopefully significant, step forward in what you both had.

Her words flew straight to your heart, coloring it red because of the blood but also because of your newborn love.

The transition from liking to loving Ellie had started the night you spent stargazing with her.

And now you could no longer carelessly brush off her flirtiness, not anymore.

Her compliments were seriously starting to make you feel things.

Ellie’s eyes didn’t miss yours trying to push away the effects she had on you.

“did you train yourself in the mirror say this one too?” you asked.

It seemed you dodged Cupid’s bow again. “why? Is it a crime to be a natural flirt?”

“It’s far from natural; it almost sounded scripted.” your voice dripping with sarcasm as usual

The truth is if you followed her, borrowing the path of truth, you’d end up either literally confessing your feelings or shyly stammering on your words and making her childish smirk come back.

And above all, teasing was more fun.

“your reaction didn’t seem like it followed a script though,” a soft chuckle followed her words. Before you could turn back your attention to the dress in front of you, she reached her hands out of her pockets to direct your turning chair towards her. “I think you just can’t flirt back, so you talk shit. Just admit I’m a smooth talker and you like it. It doesn’t hurt.”

There was a small gap between you, and when you turned to look at Ellie’s face, her kissable lips formed a smirk and her eyebrows waggled together.

Her sudden proximity made time stop, and the soft music playing in the background faded as you felt your heartbeat getting louder.

An unfamiliar feeling bubbled up in your stomach, something that seemed ready to explode as her gaze on you intensified.

Your body reacted before your mind, and her chest met your hand. Ellie understood she would cross the line if she leaned closer.

You kept her eyes on hers. "it does.it hurts my ego and pride." Ellie obviously understood your sarcasm—not because it's part of your nature, but because she also paints her buried feelings with jokes.

She took a few steps back before you could add another layer of satire, her eyes not leaving yours even when they looked away from hers.

"but objectively speaking, you're charming with your words."The honesty contrasting with your previous words made her snicker.

Today, at 5:36 pm, an hour when she usually lets herself be consumed by boredom, a new memory was engraved in her mind, and she wouldn't forget to write it down in her journal once back home.

Her heart would swell with joy as she'd quoe you calling her charming. Her stomach would birth butterflies as she'd remember this compliment coming from a pretty face.

But with a closed mouth to keep quiet and not make Joel think she'd gone crazy. Even though that was kind of the case.

"shut up, that's nothing but objective." Ellie scratched the back of her head, being the one avoiding eye contact now that your eyes peered at hers.

"don't your friends think the same when you flirt like that?" A natural flirter, smart and beautiful, kicking ass to do justice—to you, Ellie was an all-in-one, and you wouldn't be surprised to learn that she made other girls feel special too.

That you were just, hopefully not, one of her other friends.

"I don't flirt with them."

Whether it was the truth or a lie, a part of you wanted to believe her anyway. Maybe that was another effect, a result of her irresistible charm.

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Overthinking was one of your worst habits, controlling your mind and replaying your most embarrassing conversations on a loop.

The best way you could have replied to Ellie complimenting your smile could have been simply thanking her and returning the compliment.

WHY DID YOU NOT THINK ABOUT THIS EARLIER?

You wanted to hide your face in your hands as unanswered 'whys' and 'hows' progressively took over your mind.

It felt like losing the 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' game over the most evident and unmistakable question.

Except you weren't losing money but Ellie's interest, but that's just what you thought.

Suddenly, the same girl you've been thinking about spoke up again. Ellie's voice was a remedy to your overthinking; it was seemingly curious since a hint of interest influenced her tone. "do you ever look at guys and get... i dont know, like you find them so attractive you want to hug and everything... maybe ki-'

With a swift move, you pulled one thread out of Ellie's jacket sleeve. The details on the dress were unfinished; switching up between sewing the jacket sleeve and the dress so you could finish them both by your deadline was much smarter and also because doing repetitive things bored you.

After hearing her words and the mention of men, you stopped sewing for a second. "ew, why?'

"just asking"she snickered when your first reaction was disgust.

He appeared again. The man selling most of the clothes you had in your closet. The same man who praised your job at embroidery and who now wanted you to work with him. You physically shook your head to mentally shake the thoughts of him away.

"I'm not into him, okay? It just felt like meeting a celebrity; it's hard to control your emotions,"you clarified. You loved his work, not him.

"but in general? does it ever... happen? Idk how to make it not sound weird" Ellie started to fidget with her fingers, her black nails painted by you. Her mind took her back to yesterday again when she'd admire you whenever your sparkling eyes were fixated on the moon, wishing you were thinking about her too.

"it sounds weird no matter how you put it. But no, I guess puberty came late to me."

" 'mkay."

Before turning your attention back to her jacket sleeve, you caught Ellie nodding, putting her hands back in her pockets casually, turning her face away to forcefully stop her lips from forming a smile.

For the first time in her life, she believed in luck.

"you?" The initial of Ellie's gang name started to take form as you repeatedly pulled the golden yellow thread in and out of the fabric.

"ew, no, I'm not interested either. Just thinking about it grosses me out."Her brutally honest answer made you chuckle softly; you weren't that much different after all.

"really? Even if I was a man?"you joked.

"yeah, plus you couldn't even get to wear those dresses and stuff. Just seeing you wearing formal clothes to fit in with everyone else would feel weird."

She tried to imagine you wearing casual clothes or anything not extravagant in general, and you laughed at her unpleasant expression.

"that's funny to think I'd finally look normal for some people,"you said between laughs, and Ellie joined you in your laughter.

Now that you think about it, it was a pretty rare occurrence for you to wear something other than lolita clothes.

You paused and put the needle down before turning to Ellie.

"do you want to see how I used to dress before? It doesn't look that weird, trust me."

After last night, the magical night you spent over at Ellie's, you can officially say things changed.

Your past self would definitely not recognize you now for trusting someone enough to have the courage to show a different version of yourself.

"my brain does that thing when it erases traumatic memories, so you're fine."you rolled your eyes at her teasing tone, her jokes getting more creative as time went by.

"that was backhanded, wasn't it?"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders as she smirked, her impatience growing stronger as she followed you out of your room.

"whatever helps you sleep at night.'"

In the corridor, you slid open a door, keeping the boxes of furniture inside, and tipped onto your toes to reach the medium cardboard box

The dust that had accumulated on top of it over the years, quickly flew away as you brushed it off, before opening what had been closed for God knows how long.

The "you" that was once buried to give birth to the "you" now resurfaced.

Ellie grabbed a few pictures before you could change your mind.

Smiling and chuckling at how different you looked compared to now, she carefully scanned all the pictures in front of her, noticing one thing that had never changed.

"I gotta say... you still look so fucking cute."

Your brain stopped functioning at her words.

Her eyes darted from the pictures to yours, not really expecting you to respond to her compliments, just admiring your flustered reaction.

You tried to think of a response that wouldn’t make you cringe when you overthought it later.

Those words, coming from someone infinitely prettier, whose eyes regarded you like you were a masterpiece belonging in a museum, whose arms made you feel like home, held significantly deeper and more impactful meaning. It was as if Ellie knew what she was doing to you and wanted your heart to explode just for her.

To her, it was just a matter of time before you completely let yourself fall for her, unaware that it was already the case.

"thanks,you’re cuter though," you smiled back at her.

But if time really isn't real, then she would learn to be patient, knowing you'd be timeless.

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It was Ellie's turn to sleep over at your house.

Despite wanting to stay awake a little longer, both of you found yourselves surrendering to unconsciousness faster than last time.

Imaginations and dreams enveloped your restless minds, quieting them down.

The smell of breakfast was more effective than an alarm clock at waking you up.

Your body was as cold as the inside of a fridge since Ellie kept unconsciously pulling the covers over her.

After warming up with some tea and filling your stomach with fluffy pancakes, you and Ellie continued with your day separately.

After spending two full days with her, her sudden absence felt strange, but you decided to put this feeling aside and focus on your new job to avoid having a wallet as empty as Ellie’s absence.

Sewing fabrics here and there to train yourself before working on the actual dress and jacket sleeve.

Walking back and forth around your room thoughtfully.

You spent most of your time sighing in frustration, as creativity refused to show up at your door.

Staring at the unfinished project in front of you, without new ideas in mind, began to take an awful toll on you.

Roses, tulips, and other flowers floated in your thoughts.

If there was one thing you wished for right now, it would be for your imagination to be as abundant as the richness of nature.

So, you ventured closer to nature and away from your trapped thoughts, wandering aimlessly around the nearest park while trying to empty your mind and let creativity flow naturally.

After a while, with plenty of walking and silent contemplation, your watch ticked to 5 PM. It was almost evening, but the sun was still shining in the sky, illuminating the blue lake beside you.

Ellie once told you that the reason the sea looks blue is because of the reflection of the sky.

A few ducks flew above the water before landing.

Some ducks swam in another direction, leaving two of their companions alone. They didn’t seem to mind the others had left, focused on swimming their own path, just the two of them.

Eventually, you dragged your feet out of the park, leaving your energy behind. A place as energizing as nature had unexpectedly drained you because no matter what you did, you always thought of her.

Whether she was around or not, Ellie lived in your mind rent-free.

When you contemplated the sky,the moon wasn’t out yet, so you stole one last glance at the lake.

Maybe you shouldn’t give up now; doing so would mean your entire day would have gone to waste.

Not to mention,facing complaints instead of praises from the CEO of your favorite shop would surely tear your heart into pieces.

So you called her.

You took your phone and dialed her number, biting your lip in hope she would respond.

Desperation was overpowering you, and Ellie clearly noticed it.

“what’s wrong?” her voice slightly modified by her phone.

A moment of silence passed as you repeated in your head what you wanted to say.

"everything,” you look pitiful.

“nothing,” you're wasting her time.

“are you busy right now?” just go straight to the point.

“I miss you,” too honest.

Ellie patiently waited for you to speak up, leaning her arms on the railing of the bridge, eyes peering at the lake while inhaling deeply.

“I need your help.”

Her eyebrows instantly furrowed in worry; you usually tried to handle things on your own, and it was unusual for you to directly ask for her help. “where are you?”

You had been wandering away from the park for so long that you didn’t even realize where you were heading. The area you found yourself in was sparse of people, resembling an abandoned train station with overgrown herbs on the rails.

When you sat on a bench, you heard an engine roaring toward you.

Ellie saw you alone on the bench, and your face instantly beamed at the sight of her arrival.

She parked her motorcycle next to the entrance of the train station and carefully crossed the rails, making her way to you.

“I’m away for one day, and you’re already missing me?”

You didn’t even have the energy to roll your eyes at her cocky smile; her words were harshly true.

Suddenly, the temperature began to cool down, signaling that evening was approaching. Ellie locked eyes with you, intently listening as you ranted about your struggles with creativity. As an artist herself, she thought of creativity like a battery that often needed recharging.

The thing was, Ellie was your recharger. Talking with her and spending time together felt like a mental cleanse, refreshing your mind. Her absence felt so unfamiliar to both your heart and your brain.

Asking for her help made her smile blissfully, unable to describe how happy she felt to spend time with you again.

Without hesitation, she took your hand right after you finished your monologue, bringing you to a familiar place—the one holding your best memories. Among them, searching for your bag with Ellie was your favorite so far.

So far, because you believed the future held even more thrilling and joyful memories with her.

Most of the stores still had the "open" sign in their showcases, including "Baby, the Stars Shine Bright."

Unexpectedly, you refused to let your inspiration come from the clothing brand you were now working for.

"You said you're on a creativity block," Ellie said, her confused eyes meeting your self-assured ones.

The CEO of this brand had praised your work for its originality, something he had never seen before. "exactly, so we need to think outside the box."

To keep satisfying him and his expectations, you decided to remain on the same path, coming up with unimaginable and creative patterns.

The puzzles instantly assembled, forming a clear image of understanding in Ellie’s head, your words failing to prevent her from holding back her laughter.

You were picking up the same sarcasm as her.

"My jokes are better."

Clothing shop after clothing shop, going from bright to dark areas, and the excessive bright lighting contrasting with the dark hues of the blue sky outside, was overstimulating Ellie’s mind.

But she kept dragging her feet to follow you around.

You could tell her anything, and she would do it without a second thought.

So that’s what happened.

The faltering and desperate look in your eyes disappeared, replaced by bright sparkles and dilated pupils as you rummaged through the clothes.

Your imagination started to paint Ellie wearing the type of clothes you had grown fond of—clothes she would never dare to wear, not because they weren’t aesthetically pleasing, but because she thought she wouldn’t look good in them.

Yet here she was, looking at your cheeky smile as you scanned her in an extravagant lolita dress you pleaded her to try.

There was no doubt you felt immensely proud to make her wear lolita clothes.

To you, Ellie was still the cutest human being you’d ever seen; the lolita dresses only enhanced her cuteness, something she strongly disagreed with.

Sensing your eyes admiring her, adding makeup felt unnecessary with her naturally blushed cheeks.

A sudden urge to squish them in your hands settled in your core.

Ellie’s face reddened even more when her cold cheeks met your warm hands, unable to ignore the temptation.

"you’re so—" you started, but Ellie immediately cut you off, her gaze dropping to the floor, embarrassed.

"don't say it."

She knew what you were about to call her; it was the complete opposite of the image she wanted to project—a thick wall of intimidating and cold exterior she had spent years building.

Yet in just a few days, she’d allowed herself to let her guard down. This wall, carefully constructed to give her a good reputation among her acquaintances, felt totally useless around you.

"alright," you retreated your hands and let out a giggle.

It was like a fierce missile flying right at this thick wall, crumbling it down with such ease, allowing her to be cheeky, goofy, flirtatious, embarrassed, flustered, happy, and in love—allowing her to be who she truly was.

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What is the common point in Ellie's loving smile, the stars at night, and her making you the happiest being on Earth?

It all puts sparkles in your eyes.

The inspiration you had difficulty finding found its way back to you like a lost pet, except it always came from one person and the things that made you think of her—which was a blessing when she was present but a curse in her absence.

So you desperately hoped this night would never end. It became a message the universe was now used to getting because when the clock ticks morning, that's when the magic ends.

And you wouldn't be peering at the horizon ahead of you anymore, sitting behind Ellie as she focused on driving across the city lights. Your mind filtering out her friends driving with you at midnight, only caring about the person you were holding in your arms, trying to bring her what she brought you: comfort.

To your surprise, this dreamlike feeling repeated itself again when you woke up with her in your arms once more. She wasn't listening to your heartbeat anymore, totally absorbed in whatever dreams she was in, so you decided to oversleep with her, hoping to appear in one of her dreams.

In one of her dreams, you and Ellie were traveling across the country on her motorcycle, often stopping at car stations when her gas was low and eating breakfast in local coffee shops working early in the morning.

Both of you were unstoppable, searching for the infamous founder of her gang, grabbing clues from door to door and heading to as many cities as you could.

Your world was so small until you hopped on Ellie's motorcycle and discovered new places, unfamiliar routes, and different types of vegetation.

Thinking back to the time you accepted to help Ellie, despite the bumpy and narrow path, today you didn't have any regrets.

Everything went smoothly. When exhaustion enveloped you, you would stay in a nearby hotel; when hunger crept its way into your stomach, you'd find a restaurant to fulfill your wishes; and when you needed more money for the road, you'd stop at the city casinos, always going for the pachinko machines.

But again, it was just a dream.

Refusing to let disappointment consume her as the alarm went off, Ellie quickly woke you up and got ready. The festival's date was approaching with big steps, and Ellie found the perfect partner to help her find Himeko.

Since the perfect partner was you, you threw away your usual routine for the next days, trying to make her dream come true.

Dreams and reality, when you're blessed with luck with many ups and rare downs, there's not a significant line separating dreams from reality. However, when reality turns to look somewhat closer to a nightmare than a dream, a dream is often an escape.

"Dream" is such a small word for its numerous meanings, but even if it can be a subjective term, both you and Ellie can agree that your current situation was progressively drifting away from the aspect of a dream.

"I can't," you said as your walk came to a halt, still holding Ellie's hand. If you could describe the word 'inseparable' in three words, you would say you and Ellie; however, it seemed circumstances were starting to change that.

"what? What do you mean?" She hoped she had heard it wrong, that the sound of engines and powerful winds had made her a bit deaf after traveling for two days.

"I can't go any further," you clarified, your eyes dropping to the floor.

"listen." Ellie's mind froze for a second; your expression was unreadable to her. You were just lacking a bit of sleep, tired, maybe a little demotivated, right? "we've come a long way, to Tokyo, down to Yokohama, just you and me alone. In just what, two days... we already have a clear destination, and it's not like people don't know her at all..."

She gently squeezed your hand, a gesture that always brought your eyes back to hers. "I'm sure we'll gather more clues on our way there. Just trust the process... trust me. I promise we'll find her soon enough."

Even when you tried to seek comfort in her words, your mind wasnt set on it, not after what happened in the last casino you stepped foot in. "I literally gambled all of my money away."

Noticing the exhaustion in your voice, Ellie reassured you, lifting your chin up to hers. Both of you had already talked about this. "You're not gonna be broke... I can lend you some, y'know it's not a problem."

You went silent, and Ellie concluded it as the end of the discussion.

She didn't want to stop here, not now, when you were midway to reach your destination, so close to finally make her dream come true.

But when you gently pushed her hand off your chin, she sensed this situation was more complicated than she had expected.

"you don't understand..."

It's when Ellie was brought closer to her dream that she would get pulled back into harsh reality, something closer to a nightmare now that she felt that you were going to break her promise.

#Spotify #ellie fluff #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #mini series #lesbian #wlw #lgbtq

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bertiemaklinn · 2 years ago

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Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Buddie x Reader

Prompt: @badthingshappenbingo – On a Leash

Summary: Reader meets a new dom at a local kink club. He’s less than brilliant, but luckily Eddie and Buck are to the rescue.

Warnings: Bad dom, ignoring limits

You looked up at your dom for the night through your eyelashes and making sure to keep your head bowed. The first time you’d dared to look him in the eye he’d tugged hard on the leash attached to the collar around your neck (which he’d wasted no time putting on you once you’d met), nearly choking you for a second and giving you a bad case of whiplash.

It was your first real foray into the world of BDSM, though you’d done plenty of research before getting to this point. You’d met your new dom—who only wanted to be called Master—in an online chat room. You’d clicked instantly and he’d seemed to be everything you’d been looking for, namely knowledgeable and experienced.

Tonight, you had finally met and were doing it for real. You’d been so excited and terrified in equal measures that all day that you’d barely slept the night before and and eaten all day. You felt jittery, but the adrenaline that had been pumping through you since the moment you walked into the club was keeping you going.

“You’re doing really well, pet. So well, I think we’re ready to step it up a level,” Master said. You looked up and found he was holding something in the air. It took you an embarrassing amount of time to realise it was a ball gag.

Instantly, you shied away. “Oh, no, I don’t think…” But you trailed off, unsure of how to express your uncertainty. Gags were something you’d already said you didn’t think you’d be into during your online chats. The idea of having your voice taken away—you’re only way out of a scene—was a little too much for you at this early stage.

“I know you said you weren’t keen on the idea, but you really won’t know until you try,” Master continued, ignoring that you’d spoken at all. “I really want you to try pet, and you want to be good for me, don’t you?”

You did. Right then, there was nothing that you wanted more. So, despite your better judgement, you nodded. Master grinned and placed the ball of the gag into your open mouth, then fixed the straps behind you head.

A few minutes went by and everything seemed to be going ok. The ball was a bit to big to be called comfortable, and your jaw was starting to ache, but you were handling it. You wouldn’t say it was enjoyable, but was it really supposed to be?

“Hey man, I don’t remember booking you in when you arrived, and I’ve been doing door duty all night until now.”

You dared look up at who had spoken to Master and found yourself staring at two of the most beautiful men you had ever seen. Both were all in black, like most people in this place, but they were also wearing badges that said ‘monitor’ written across them.

The dark haired man was talking to Master, and you tried to listen in on what they were saying, but you were distracted by the blond, who had his blue eyes on you.

After a few seconds of staring at you, he leaned forward and tapped the other man on the shoulder, saying something into his ear. Then, his eyes were on you. You immediately wanted to shy away.

“Hi sweetheart,” he said, crouching down so his face was almost level with yours. “You feeling ok?”

You frowned as best you could with the gag in, wondering what had prompted the question. Sure, you still felt jittery and you didn’t love the gag but you were fine. You nodded.

“Can I take this off so we can talk?” He reached for the gag and you jerked away. If he took it off, you wouldn’t want to put it back on and you were being a good girl. If you weren’t, then this might not happen again for you. The man held his hands up in surrender, not coming any closer to you. “Ok, I won’t touch you.” He turned his attention back to Master. “What’s you sub’s name?”

“She goes by pet,” Master said, sounding more and more annoyed the longer he talked to these men.

“I need her real name for the club record.”

Master sighed heavily. “Y/N. I don’t know her surname.”

“Ok,” the man looked to you again and then back at Master. “Y/N’s looking pale and sweaty. Those are classic signs of low blood sugar. I recommend you get that gag off of her and get her a sugary drink before she passes out.”

Your heartbeat quickened at the mention of passing out, but you mentally shook the worry away. You felt fine. You were fine.

“Sure, I’ll get on that right away,” Master said with a less than genuine smile. Both men looked at you again, then the dark haired one nodded and pulled the blond away with him. Master didn’t move to take off the gag or to get you a drink.

And that was fine. You didn’t need it.

Except that a few minutes later your vision started to go grey around the edges and that jittery feeling turned into full on shakiness. You turned to Master and tried to get his attention, tapping him on the leg and then pointing at the ball in your mouth when he looked down at you. His only response was to tug on the leash, once again briefly cutting off your air supply.

You started to panic then, because you had no way of telling Master what was going on and you could tell that passing out was imminent. Then, you saw the men from earlier, leaning against the bar. You just had to get to them and they’d help; you knew it.

Shakily, you got to your feet, much to the displeasure of Master, who immediately began to tug on the leash to force you to sit back down. You reached around and tried to pull it out of his hands but you were weak and he was already much stronger than you.

“Hey! Let her go!” You heard someone shout and looked around to see the two men jogging over to you. The blond one wrenched the leash out of Master’s hands and dropped it, loosening the collar around your neck and allowing you to finally take a breath. The greyness dissipated a little bit.

This next thing you knew, there were hands on your head and neck, working the buckles on the gag and collar loose and taking them off. A stream of drool fell from your lips as the ball of the gag was removed and you reached up with a shaky hand to wipe it away. The two men each placed an arm under yours, practically holding you up as they guided you away from Master.

The room they took you to was very different to the main room. Where that one had been kind of dim, this one was well lit, even though the walls were still painted a dark navy. The floor was a fake wood instead of the carpet. This had to be one of the five playrooms that the club boasted on its website.

There was a bench running along one side of the room, made of a padded leather kind of material. The blond man took of his jacket and laid it over the seat before the dark haired man helped you to sit down on top of it. Then, he crouched down in front of you.

“Hi Y/N, my names Eddie and this here is Buck. We’re gonna help you feel better, ok?” He smiled as you nodded, if a little shakily. “You feel dizzy at all?” You nodded again. Eddie turned to look at Buck. “Why don’t you go get her something sugary from the bar to drink?” He looked back at you. “That’s all you need; you’ll feel a lot better afterwards.”

Buck disappeared and returned a couple of minutes later, holding a tall glass of orange juice. He sat down on the bench next to you and placed the glass in your hand. You had to hold it with both hands just to make sure you didn’t drop it. The glass was cool against your fingers and already beaded with moisture.

Even though your stomach was turning at the thought of putting anything into it, you began to drink. The first sip was sweet against your tongue and soothed your sore throat.

“That’s it, well done,” Eddie said, squeezing your leg while Buck laid one of his large hands on your back, right between your shoulder blades.

As you drank, the grey started to fade from you vision and the shakiness abated a little bit. Eddie continued to praise you while Buck remained a steady presence next to you. Between the two of them, it kept you calm even as the horror of what had just happened began to descend on you.

Finally, you finished the drink and looked up at Eddie. “I didn’t do as I was told to; Master will never want to see me again,” I said, my voice raw.

“Sweetheart, you did exactly what you should have done. You didn’t feel safe, and your dom wasn’t listening to you, so you got help. You did the right thing.”

Despite Eddie’s words, you couldn’t help the tears that pricked your eyes and threatened to fall. Buck’s arm shifted so it was wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you up against his side.

“You can cry if you want to, Y/N, but you have no reason to feel guilty,” he said. “In fact your dom was completely in the wrong and we’re going to push for him to be blacklisted.”

You shifted about and scrubbed at your eyes to wipe away the tears. You weren’t going to cry. Not over him; at least not until you were alone.

“How are you feeling now?” Eddie asked, taking the empty glass from your hands and setting it down on the floor next to him.

“Yeah, I’m feeling better now,” you muttered, your embarrassment over the entire situation suddenly descending over you.

“Good. The juice will only hold you over for so long, though. You should eat something pretty soon, preferably something carb heavy,” Eddie explained. He looked you up and down. “You got someone who can pick you up? I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone right now.”

You shook your head. You didn’t have any friends that you considered close enough to collect you from a kink club, and you certainly couldn’t ask any of your family.

“Well,” Buck began, looking between you and Eddie, “we’re almost done here. Would you be happy for us to take you for some food and then take you home?”

You knew you should say no; that these men were strangers, but something about them felt safe and you found yourself nodding.

“Ok, great,” Buck said, with an addictive grin. “We have about twenty minutes left of our shifts, so make yourself comfortable in here and we’ll be back soon.”

At your nod, you were left alone again. You settled back against the cold wall and waited for your new companions to return.

#Buddie x reader #badthingshappenbingo #buck x reader x eddie

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tollingreminiscentbells · 1 year ago

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RoCS Side Story: Simon and Harry

Since people sometimes ask about Simon and backstory and things of that nature, I thought I'd deliver with a little bit of side content! Specifically, Simon and baby Harry meeting for the first time. A little shy of 1,000 words below the cut, if Harry's early childhood, and Simon's take on how to talk to toddlers, is of interest to you.

“I’m here to see the boy.”

The older woman currently responsible for the care of Harry Potter looks at Simon with extreme skepticism. Simon doesn’t blame her—he wouldn’t trust him, either.

“Harry,” he amends, because he knows he wouldn’t appreciate being referred to as the boy and, even if Harry isn’t present for this conversation, it’s the principle of the fucking thing.

She still looks profoundly unimpressed, but nods. The Dark Lord must have let her know Simon was coming, though he can’t imagine she was fully prepared to be confronted with a skinny twenty-year-old who hasn’t slept in almost thirty hours.

In hindsight, that might have been an error in judgment on his part.

“This way,” she says stiffly.

“Thank you,” he says, following her down the hall and up a flight of stairs.

Their destination turns out to be a small nursery on the second floor, just off the landing. And there, sitting in a crib under the window, playing with a stuffed dog, is the child the Dark Lord inexplicably thinks Simon is fit to raise.

“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” the woman tells him. She leaves the door open on her way out.

Simon watches her go, then turns his attention to Harry, who is watching him with fascination, the stuffed toy forgotten. They stare at each other for a moment and then Simon says, “Hello.”

Harry waves. “Hi.”

“Oh.” Simon blinks at him. “You can talk. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

Harry giggles and says again, “Hi.”

“Albeit with a somewhat limited vocabulary.” Simon crosses the room and folds his arms against the side of the crib. “I suppose you are only . . . how old are you?” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m asking you, you’re a baby. Or are you a toddler? Is there a discrete point where one becomes the other?”

Every word that leaves his mouth is just more evidence that he has no business even being here. Of all the wizards in Britain, Simon Glass might be the last one anyone should entrust a small child to, particularly a small child as important as Harry Potter.

Said small child is stretching his arms in Simon’s direction. “Up.”

“You want out of the cage? I don’t blame you.”

He’s never picked up a toddler before, but the principle seems straightforward enough and he reaches down to wrap his arms around Harry and lift him up and over the side of the crib. He’s heavier than he looks, but Simon doesn’t drop him and instead gets them both situated on the floor, so he’ll consider that a success.

The bar is so low he’d have to start tunneling to go any lower.

And then they’re back to staring at each other because of course they are. Simon has never felt more out of his depth in his life. This is worse than the day he got arrested.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admits quietly.

Harry tilts his head curiously, but Simon’s uncertainty might be affecting him because his face is starting to screw up like he’s going to cry. In a tiny, plaintive voice, he says, “Mama?”

Oh. Oh no.

But Harry really looks like he’s going to cry now, so Simon does the only thing he can think of: he starts talking again. “She’s . . . she’s not coming back, I'm sorry. Neither of them are.” He tries to smile and is very certain he fails. “My mother died a long time ago—I don’t remember her very well. I wish it had been the other way around and my father died first, but no one asked me.” He reaches out and brushes messy hair off Harry’s forehead. “No one asked you, either, did they? I suppose we’re alike that way.”

The talking strategy seems to be working because Harry is once more looking at Simon with some degree of interest, the tears held at bay. He makes a noise that isn’t quite a word, but Simon has spent most of his life not being understood by the people around him, so he nods. “Just so.”

Harry smiles at him, which makes him quite possibly the only person who has ever found Simon remotely amusing, and Simon sighs. “I’m not cut out to be a parent,” he tells him flatly. “The house is horrible and I can’t cook. I don’t know anything about children. And there’s no one else, so you won’t even be getting a proper family out of the deal. This is a terrible idea and I don’t know why anyone would even entertain it.”

Harry holds out a hand and Simon takes it, watching as pudgy fingers curl around his index and middle fingers. It’s kind of sweet, actually. Reaching out to Simon like he’s in any way fit to be here, like Simon is someone he might conceivably be comforted by.

Perhaps the Dark Lord knew Simon better than he knows himself because there really isn't a decision to be made, is there? It was made the moment Simon walked in the door. Or maybe even sooner. The moment he agreed to meet Harry Potter at all.

Harry is alone in the world now, but Simon has an idea of what that’s like and maybe . . . maybe that will be enough to get them started. A foundation he can build on, if he manages to keep them both alive long enough to try.

Looking into Harry's bright green eyes, he finds that he wants to try.

“I suppose I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I?” When Harry smiles again, he smiles back. “I’m Simon.”

#revolution of configured stars #rocs #my fics

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covid-safer-hotties · 26 days ago

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Also preserved in our archive

By Alana Kaufman

It started when my brain gave out on me in algebra class one January day in 2022. I couldn’t figure out a simple math problem; all I saw were numbers and symbols. My eyelids drooped, my head hurt, I could barely stay awake. Something wasn’t right.

I hadn’t felt like myself since getting COVID-19 a couple weeks earlier. Simple tasks like reading a text or standing up were draining. But what happened in that classroom scared me. At age 14, my life became a state of constant exhaustion, punctuated by doctors’ visits that, months later, would lead to a Long COVID diagnosis. Still, in those early weeks, I felt determined. I was a high-achieving student athlete always eager to accept a challenge—and I felt confident that I could get past whatever this was quickly.

That didn’t happen. And I had no idea how hard a road lay ahead—or just how dramatically the journey would reshape my perspective, outlook, goals, and relationships.

Two years after that initial episode, I’m 85% recovered. I can handle a full day of school. Brain fog and fatigue only reappear during intense projects or when I’m sick. I’ve also discovered a lot about myself, about invisible illness, and about the importance of friends and loved ones—lessons that can help anyone in the midst of a life-changing illness, as well as anyone wanting to offer help.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

Letting go is not failure I used to be a person who pushed myself academically, athletically, and personally. But with Long COVID, that only made me sicker. I knew I had to move in the opposite direction. I dropped half my classes, which felt like losing half of myself. But reducing my workload gave my body the bandwidth to heal. I hadn’t given up on life. I had simply changed my focus in order to find a new way forward. With chronic illness, slowing down isn’t quitting—it’s survival.

Small victories matter When you’re used to dreaming big and racking up achievements, it’s hard to accept that future success might look different. But chronic illness forces you to redefine what a “win” is. For me, it meant trading the goals of straight As and competitive swimming for getting out of bed and attending a couple of classes. With chronic illness, little moments like these become milestones. Celebrate them.

You can’t push through it Before I got sick, I believed that you could overcome anything with enough effort and discipline. So I attacked my illness with the same attitude, often overexerting myself in an attempt to regain my old life. But chronic illness doesn’t respond to sheer willpower. The more I pushed, the worse I felt. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is listen to your body and respect its limits.

Invisible illnesses are isolating People can have a hard time understanding what they can’t see. And since there was nothing visibly wrong with me, some assumed I wasn’t actually sick but had just given up on them. Friends stopped inviting me out. Teachers thought I had quit caring about schoolwork. The isolation I felt was one of the most difficult challenges of having Long COVID. Those who reached out and supported me have become some of my most treasured friends.

Healing isn’t linear The trajectory for many illnesses is to get sick, get rest, get better. But chronic illness isn’t that simple. Some days I began at 50% strength, others at 10%, and I never knew where the roller coaster would take me. The energy I felt one hour might evaporate the next. At first, my teachers and friends didn’t understand the sudden shifts. Of course, neither did I. But a low-energy day isn’t the same as not trying. It’s just part of the healing process.

Relapse anxiety can be paralyzing Even as some of my physical symptoms started to fade, I was always on high alert for a possible relapse. Every time I pushed myself a little harder, I worried that I’d end up back where I started. That fear held me back from fully re-engaging with school and activities I once loved. It was helpful to remind myself that I didn’t have to return to “normal” all at once—small, gradual progress was enough.

It can make you mentally stronger Chronic illness changes you. It forces you to slow down, rethink what success looks like, and find new ways of measuring progress. At the same time, it opens up windows into yourself and the world around you.

And what I’ve discovered is a new kind of internal strength and a new sense of self. I still pursue goals, but now they’re more personal, more purposeful. I feel more grounded in values that are authentically my own, and not based on what society expects of me. I’ve learned how to find meaning even in the face of limitations.

I’ve also developed a deeper empathy for those struggling with their own chronic illnesses. Listening without judgment, offering patience rather than pressure, and showing support without conditions: These kindnesses were key to my recovery, and they’re essential for anyone living in the darkness of chronic illness. Thanks to the examples of others, I’m now well-equipped to help those in need—and eager to repay the favor.

#mask up #covid #pandemic #wear a mask #public health #covid 19 #wear a respirator #still coviding #sars cov 2 #coronavirus #long covid

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mmc-veronica · 1 year ago

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A≒A'≠A - A’ English Translation

Trigger warnings: Death and suicidal ideations

UM. so i finished this quicker than i thought i would. THERES A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENING IN THIS TRACK… i did translate/format half of this on my phone so sorry if its a bit wonky 😭 when i first listened to this i remember being kind of like “?????” lol… also i.. have not proofread this so sorry for any mistakes. anyways, translation under the cut!

Hello? Honey? It’s Etan~

Actually today I have a feeling that I can get home early today, so maybe we can see each other soon~...

Eh?! For real? Then let’s just meet up somewhere… by the way, where are you right now?

Oh, oh, then that would be closer to Tokyo Station.

I’ll be there in forty secon… no that might be impossible, but I’ll be finished with work in five minutes so wait for me somewhere, or you can just go ahead and meet me at my place, that might be a bit more convenient!

Alright! If you get there before me, feel free to make yourself comfortable! Then I’ll see you later, mwah!

It’s been a while since I’ve been this tired… Yo, yo! My Honey’s shoes are already here!

Honey~! Are you alright? Did you bump into anything? I’m home, I’m home, I’m home!

This situation where I come home and my honey’s right in front of me… Isn’t this a bit too good? It’s so priceless that my heart won’t stop racing! Hug~!

Hah… this is nice… coming home from work and being recharged with my Honey!

All my worries and stresses from today are replaced by happiness that I feel like I could redo this entire day and feel fine~

Huh? Of course, I’m fine! I seriously hurried over here after those five minutes, you know!

Could it be… Did my Honey make me something or do something for me?!

Are you serious? That’s seriously the best! By the way, what did you get for me? What are you going to make for me?!

This is so good~ Anything you make is good! Like, seriously, somehow everything tastes like my Honey!

It’s okay! There’s nothing to worry about! This handmade hamburger steak is a given, and once this frozen potato side dish was warmed up it’s Honey-flavored, right? Mmm so good…!

Thank you for the meal~ Thanks to your nice surprise I’m in such a good mood! I’m so satisfied that I’m filled with so much inspiration for ideas for a new song!

Right, right! Well, even once the release relay starts, we NSFW are the exciting last performers, so we’ll start putting in some serious effort soon~

Well, yeah, kind of. When it comes to the performance we haven’t thought of anything yet. The other members are still out and playing around. Even so, I think we still have to produce a happy song that breaks our boundaries, so the people who listen to it will be so happy that they want to start dancing!

That’s right, as the ambassador of this name I want to keep working hard.

Well that was the plan, since my happiness has reached its limit. But you see… Mm… There are some things I need to start cleaning up… before I properly become an adult…

Well before that, Honey over here! Come over here!

No, no! That can wait until later, It’ll become a hassle!

When it comes to cleaning up, I’ll properly do it all later, so…!

I caught you~ so from here on out its the start of my dessert time~

This is…! Hyper delicious sweets! Not even a ten star rating will cut it! Just one bite won’t do, so I’ll just have to take my time with having a taste~

I’m so refreshed! Then Honey, you were alright with… Yo yo?! What is this! Isn’t this a sight! My honey, wearing my shirt and sweatpants! Oh… this is too attractive…

Oh okay, okay, help yourself to any drinks! And why are you watching the news? That’s a bit bland!

I see, I understand the sentiment. Background noise just to keep your nerves at bay is always good. Especially if you’re alone.

Yeah, you’re right. Except I’m not sure what’s been changed specifically. The drinking and smoking age has been the same. Passports… you can get after ten years, right? Damn! I don’t know if it’s because of this country or not, but if someone goes out on a whim and decides to become an adult then that’s a bit of a problem~ Even with me, there’s a lot of stuff I need to do.

Hey, honey? You call me A, right? Ever since we started dating.

Yeah, true, but… For one, you don’t call me by my real name so it’s fine and I like you calling me A but…

I am A but this- If I said I was a fake A, what would you do?

Did I scare you? I guess we are similar~

I’m actually a twin. The one on the right is me and the one on the left is my older brother. The real A, without the dash.

The one that started the band and went by A, that wasn’t me. That was my brother. But…

He died.

A bit before we turned fifteen, he was crossing the street and a truck came… He… He… I’m fine. I’m fine now. I’m sure you can guess what happened. What I couldn’t say all this time, was this. Whenever I think about what happened, I can’t stop from panicking, so I've made sure to try not to think about it. My parents and doctors have all said to hurry up and forget about it, but not just the incident. They want me to try to forget about him as well. But, I can’t help myself. Especially recently. I have to keep him in my memory, or he’ll be scared right? I keep aging, but he’s alone, in the body of a kid. To think that he’ll be forgotten by everyone…

It’s kind of too late for this, but can you listen to me? About the real A that you don’t know.

I’ll make sure that I’ll remember properly, so if it’s you, it’ll be okay.

Yeah. Of course I know. No matter how stupid I am, I know you’ll wait for me. Up until now you’ve done that already. I won’t push myself. So first I want to talk about some of the easier stuff.

To outsiders, we were both little troublemakers. But, on the inside we were actually good! Basically, we would come up with ideas and run around messing with the adults! Well we were identical, right? So we would switch classrooms and see how long it would take for them to notice! Right?! But if no one notices, it takes the fun out of it, so in the end we would just tell them ourselves, especially him. I would say to him, “We were doing so well, so why did you tell them?!” and we would get into arguments, but, when we came up with our next prank, we would just make up without a word.

We went into middle school, and he suddenly said he wanted to join the light music club. I liked music too, but I never thought of doing it myself, so I was a bit surprised. I guess it was then… the crowds of people we hung out with changed bit by bit, but we still got along well, it was what it was. When he started being the singer for the band he was in with his buddies, it felt like he kept getting sucked in by the music. He was all like, “A musical star being born doesn’t sound that bad!” and I started watching his practice sessions with my friends. When we were third years, they had a farewell stage at the cultural festival, and of course he was super excited, but he got sick out of nowhere! I would say he got too excited and he got sick. Catching pneumonia and going to the hospital, coughing everywhere, he kept saying “I let down my bandmates and underclassmen,” I felt bad for him so I said, “Well, do you want me to stand in for you just this once? We look the same and we sound the same, so if I copy your singing we can just trick them like that!” Just like we did in the past.

Yeah. I sang in his place. I thought I did perfectly… Well yeah, in the end we were figured out. Well, I guess we revealed it, he did, that is. I’m not sure. That’s what I wanted to ask. Then, that day, I met with him on the way back from class, and… From that time, I really can’t remember much. No matter how hard I try, I can’t recall anything. When I came to, I was in the hospital. No, I wasn’t injured, but…

Yeah. That’s why I don’t like hospitals, even now. I blacked out without even realizing, and when I woke up, I was told that he had passed, and I couldn’t even attend his funeral. I was the one that invited him, and if I didn’t do that, then the incident wouldn’t have happened…

No, I’m fine! If I’m able to tell you this much, I can keep going. I want to tell you everything.

It was from there, where I started thinking, “I want to hurry up and die.” That was all I could even think. Even after getting discharged from the hospital, I was a mess, and I felt like even eating was meaningless. Then, I just started messing around here and there, and was surrounded by weird people. Yeah, the weirdest people I’ve met up until now, those are the current band members. That’s kind of the punchline here. Well, I’m not sure why, but they told me they wanted me to sing for them, but once I thought about it, I thought that it wouldn’t be that bad. And I could stand in his place… because the one who really wanted to sing was him, but he can’t anymore, so there’s only one thing that I can really do. But, I didn’t want to steal his spotlight, so I put ‘ at the end of my name. I’m A, but I’m also not. An imposter that is identical to A, A’. Well that’s obvious, isn’t it? We were seriously inseparable, where one of us was, the other was there also, and we would always go to each other for advice. If we were together, I thought we could do anything. No matter how old we get, nothing would change, is what I thought but… but then why… If that’s the case I should’ve died instead… I wonder, I don’t even know what really happened. I don’t even remember. Before the accident, we were just chatting, and according to the police, it turned out the truck had ran a red light, but… Even then, I blamed myself, that I was in the wrong… No way. There’s no way. If he was here right now, he would never blame me. That’s the kind of person he is. If… I was really in the wrong, he would probably just laugh and say, “Seriously, what are you doing? Rather than that…!” Huh? No… it’s nothing. Yeah. No matter how many people say we’re so similar, I can only think that he was more mature than me. We’re twins, but I can only think that he’s my older brother.

Maybe… Well, there’s not much I can do! He’s not here anymore, and I need to make something of myself. To make something of myself… that’s…

I know. Becoming A’… it wasn’t a mistake. I met you out of it too. Right now everyone’s waiting for me. The A with a ‘’s songs. From starting as an imposter…I couldn’t do it without reason.That’s why I said at the start, that it’s okay. I wonder if he’ll forgive me too, if I keep using the name A’ and continue making songs. Me? Yeah… I think he’d say “Go for it, as long as you’re having fun.” Well of course you’d get along with him! If you can get along with me, then you could with him. I guess it was all in my head… If I think about the type of person he is… then I have a feeling it was.

Haah… Yes!! One song finished~! No matter how I think about it, this is good! Now that’s said and done, the second song… I can leap this hurdle easily. I guess regaining motivation does help…

Why isn’t there a towel hanging here?!

Sorry, I guess I can’t reach you yet. I guess you knew that already though. But I hope you’re waiting excitedly for all the stories I’m going to tell you. I’ll have fun for the both of us. Even singing, and this dazzling world of adulthood.

#dear vocalist #dear vocalist translation #dearvo #dear vocalist unlimited #a’#edasshu #えーダッシュ #ディアヴォーカリスト #ディアヴォ #dearvo translation #rejet #rejet translation

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grimmswan · 5 months ago

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Biester Observations

Grimm: Nick Burkhardt / Adalind Schade

Conversation starts with Nick mentioning that he's only met two zauberbiest and it turns into how different Adalind is from most biester. There's also mention of how there had been sexual tension between Nick and Adalind from the beginning.

Biester Observations

“You know, I’ve been thinking about something for a while now. I find it kind of strange that I haven't encountered a lot of zauberbiest. Just Renard and Bonaparte." Nick observed.

"Zauberbiest tend to diminish in population as they get older." Adalind explained. "For someone like Bonaparte to be as powerful as he was, he would have had to give up the desires of the flesh and focus completely on the pursuit of power."

"Wait, are you saying the males can't have sex if they want their magic to be strong?" Monroe asked in shock.

"Pretty much." Adalind explained. "It takes time, effort and skill to become powerful, and it takes time, effort and skill to pursue pleasures of the flesh. Most males would rather enjoy life than spend fifty years in the quest to be powerful enough to rule the world."

"So Bonaparte must have been dedicated from an early age to become as powerful as he was." Nick observed.

Adalind nodded. "Since he hit puberty. When most wesen first woge.

Other zauberbiest would want to focus on gaining money and sexual partners. With their human forms being attractive, it would have been easier, and a lot more fun, than hiding from observers and strengthening their skills."

"But you would think we would encounter more zauberbiest, if they like money, wouldn't they most likely be embezzlers?" Monroe asked.

"She did say the population diminished." Rosalee reminded her husband. " I'm guessing they get themselves killed off?"

"They are usually very competitive and they really don't like to lose. Pride and ego cause carelessness. One mistake at the wrong time and that's it, done for good.” Adalind sent a slashing motion across her throat. “So most zauber don't reach the age of thirty. Those who do have chosen careers where they will receive a great deal of money and prestige. They have their powers, and they most likely use them to be successful, but it's not likely enough to be a great threat, and they would be careful not to attract enemies, especially grimm."

“Obviously, hexenbiest must not have the same limitations as zauberbiest.” Nick guessed.

“We have the opposite problem. The more powerful we are, the more we need to protect ourselves.”

“I have a strong feeling that a significant number of zauberbiest met their demise because they went after a hexenbiest.”

“Perceptive.” Adalind smiled at her husband.

Whether human, wesen, or other, some men just wouldn’t take no for an answer. And some men had a problem with seeing a woman with power. In those events, it was necessary for a hexenbiest to let the male know clearly that he made a big mistake in crossing her.

“With biester, girls tend to get their powers at a pretty young age. Once we get our abilities, we have to spend a great deal of time learning to control them. My mother always warned me that if I couldn’t learn to control myself and my powers, and did something crazy in public, a grimm would find me and chop off my head.”

“She must be rolling in her grave knowing you’re married to a grimm, now.” Monroe joked until he remembered. “Or, she would be, if we hadn't dug her up and put her in a potion.”

“I’m a disappointment and a betrayer to my race.” Adalind nodded. “Having sex with a grimm is one thing. It would be understandable to go where few had gone before. Might even be considered an accomplishment. But the fact that I actually fell in love with one? I might as well have desecrated the remains of all of my ancestors.”

“I wonder if my ancestors would be disappointed or impressed that I managed to seduce and win the heart of a hexenbiest.”

“I wouldn’t put seduction in your category of accomplishments.” Adalind gave him a pointed look. “As I recall, I seduced you.”

“You told me you loved me and started to unbutton my shirt. I’m not sure that really qualifies as seduction, either.”

“That’s all it took!” Monroe expressed, wide eyed. “The sexual tension between you too must have been insane. I’m surprised it took as long as it did for you two to jump into bed together.”

“It did cross my mind a few times.” Adalind admitted.

At Nick’s questioning look, she confessed. “Remember when you had to protect me from the mellifers? We were alone, got into a discussion, I woged and you smirked at me? I seriously contemplated jumping on you and straddling your face. Just to wipe that smug grin off of your face.”

It was first thought that the surprise on Nick's face was due to what Adalind admitted, but then he said. “I thought about that too. We were in a hotel room. The bed was right there. For a second, I envisioned pushing up that skirt you were wearing, laying back on the bed and sitting you where I would be able to help you relax. My quick thought was, maybe if I made her feel good, she would be willing to tell me what was going on.”

“Do you remember the stairwell in the restaurant during that double date? Where we had that heated argument.”

“I knew you were up to something but you pretended like you didn’t know what I was talking about?”

“Did you?,,,” Adalind trailed off.

Nick knew what she was talking about. “Thought about pinning you to the wall and having you right then and there? Stare at your ass and legs as you walk up the stairs away from me? Punch the wall in anger and frustration? Because I knew you were up to something and also because I desired you?”

“Is that why you kissed me when we fought in the woods?”

“Probably. I did it without thinking. That move was pure instinct.” Nick rubbed the back of his neck and admitted. “I thought about kissing you again when you were in that jail cell. You said under different circumstances, we could have had fun together. For a moment I thought what it would be like to give in. Just have fun and not worry about anything else.”

“I knew I saw you glance at my lips!”

“No wonder you two moved so quickly once you were living together.” Rosalee smiled at her friends. “Once you were on the same side, you had no more excuses for why you shouldn’t be together.”

“That seems pretty rare for beister too.” Monroe pointed out. “Not the wanting to have sex thing. That's mostly universal for most living beings. But the quickly being in love and committed to one another thing.”

“That’s another reason why I was a disappointment to my mother. I let myself fall in love. I let myself be devoted to a person. For a beister, opening oneself up and being vulnerable to another is considered weakness.

“I’m really glad you're not a traditional hexenbiest then.” Nick said, putting his arm around Adalind and holding her tight. “Now that I’ve experienced it, I never want to live without you loving me.”

“I am probably happier than most beister.” Adalind laid her head on Nick’s shoulder. "Instead of a constant lust for power, I have a lust for my husband. And I get satisfaction from it every night.”

#grimm #nick burkhardt #nick and adalind #nick x adalind #adalind schade #nick/adalind #nbc grimm #grimm nbc #peacock grimm #grimm peacock #nadalind #grimmswanfic

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creoterative · 1 year ago

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Well, I said that September might be Paul's month, didn't I? So here's another drawing, inspired by a scene in Charlie Chaplin's movie 'City Lights' from 1931. I'm a great fan of Ikarishipping and thus wanted to finally make a drawing for it since the last one I made was... let's just say, it's very old.

The idea for this drawing came to me when I rewatched this gem of a movie a few days ago. It is my favorite out of Chaplin's collection because of the simple but very sweet and hopefull story that brings the two main characters together.

I'll give a summary and explain why I picked that scene for this picture.

----Spoilers----

The movie starts with the main character, the Tramp, being chased off a statue, that was to be revealed to the public, all while he decided to sleep under the curtain. He didn't have any other place to sleep that night, so he just took what was there, not realizing the amount of trouble he'd make in doing so.

After he's chased off, he walks through the city for a while, not really caring where his feet will take him, until he encounters a lot of traffic and has to climb through the car of a wealthy man to get to the other side. A young woman is sitting on a small wall, selling flowers, and when she hears the door of the car, she asks the man if he's interested in buying some.

The Tramp thinks for a while, since his money is very limited nowadays, but decides to at least give the flowers a look. Accidentally, he throws a flower out of her hand with his ellbow and picks it up quickly, right before the woman bends down to do so as well. Realizing she is blind and didn't see him already get the flower, he helps her up and she puts the flower on his jacket. He gives her the rest of his money and wants to wait for his change when another man gets into a fancy car right next to him. Not knwoing that he's still standing beside her, the woman reaches out for the car, asking for him to wait for his change, while the Tramp sneaks away, letting her keep the money.

As the woman returns home to her grandmother and dreams about finding someone who doesn't just see the disability she has, the Tramp stops a millionaire from drowning himself in the river and befriends him (kinda). After saving him from himself, again, he and the millionaire go out to make trouble in town and live the city night life. All kinds of crazy things happen, multiple times the Tramp or the millionaire almost get into a fight, but in the end, they make it out alive and arrive at the millionaires mansion in the early morning.

While the still very drunk millionaire is brought inside, the Tramp stays at the stairs outside, where he sees the woman from yesterday sell her flowers again. Getting money from the drunk millionaire, he rushes over to her to buy all of her flowers and guide her home as well. (That's the scene I drew by the way.)

When they arrive, he asks if he may see her again and she tells him he may come visit whenever he wants to. Afterwards, she talks to her grandmother about him, saying that he may be rich, but he's more than that, referring to his kind and gentle attitude.

The Tramp gets back to the millionaire's mansion the next morning, thinking his butlers will let him in, but when the millionaire is sober, he doesn't recognize the Tramp and sees him as filth, a streetrat. In the afternoon though, they meet each other again, the millionaire being drunk again and he hosts a party for the Tramp. In the end, he gets thrown out the next morning and leaves, not really caring for the rich man anymore.

The woman meanwhile catches a severe cold and when the Tramp hears this, he decides to help her. He finds honest work, cleaning streets, and tries his best to keep up the facade, as the woman still thinks he's a gentleman.

But when they find out, that the authorities will take her home if she doesn't pay rent quickly, he promises her to help, only to discover that he's about to lose his job for being late again. Desperate, the Tramo enters a, more or less legal, boxing fight and can even hold his own for a while, but is defeated at last.

Not knowing what to do, he visits the millionaire again, who is drunk for the millionth time and promises him, that he'll take care of the woman. There has been a new scientific breakthrough in eye surgeries, so that people can see again and the Tramp suggests that he'd get her the treatment. He can get a lot of money from the millionaire before the policemen arrive, mistaking him for a thief, while the real thieves are escaping already.

Running away from the law, he rushes to the woman and gives her every cent he's got, telling her to get the treatment and pay her rent before he has to go. She asks him if she'll see him again, to which he replies with 'I gotta go, for a while.' Knowing, that he'll get thrown into jail if the police finds him, he leaves her and gets arrested shortly after.

Six months later, the Tramp is free again, but broke and doesn't have a clue where to go from here on, so he just wanders the streets, as always. The woman got the treatment and is finally able to see, which helps her to open her own flower store, which is doing wonderfully.

The Tramp passes the store and recognizes the white flowers out on the street, but as he sees her through the window, he doesn't really know how to act. When the woman approaches him, he wants to run away quickly, but she stops him to give him a flower and some money. After touching his hand and hearing his voice though, she realizes it's him, seeming kind of shocked, but also happy to meet him again.

What happens afterwards is up to us, the viewers.

---

The story is old, the movie is old, but I like this old charm, so yeah.

The reason why I thought it might fit Ikarishipping, is a bit much to explain in english, but I'll try my best.

Paul isn't nearly as comically or charismatic as the Tramp. He is cold, doesn't approach people if he doesn't need anything from them (or wants to scold them for something), and he especially doesn't show any interest in being a gentleman. He is very polite to people he thinks deserve it, though. Cynthia, Nurse Joy, Roark, even Dawn at the end seems to have earned his respect in some kind of way since he actually opens up to her about why he despises Ash etc.

If I had to figure out his lovelanguage, I'd say it's through actions, not words. He doesn't talk a lot, but rather shows how much he cares with little things at first. Just as it was in the movie, it started with the Tramp buying one flower, then the whole basket, then he paid her treatment and rent. His love and care grew exponentially and even though I'd say it would take a loooot longer for Paul, I'd still think that's what he works with - slowly opening up, showing more of his care and realizing, that he actually has feelings.

While Paul isn't actually that much reflected by the movie, rather his way of showing affection (in my opinion), I think Dawn is portrayed perfectly. She isn't blind, but the determination of the young woman and her effort are clearly something, that Dawn shows as well. But also the amount of emotions she shows reflects Dawn's. She openly talks about her feelings and thoughts, shows that she cares by asking about the person, how they feel and what they are doing, also offering help if needed.

The woman in the movie is mostly portrayed as shy, but not helpless, knowing her way around the house and even though she's blind, she's still trying her best to make money. Yes, she needs help with the rent, but afterwards she shows that she can handle herself perfectly, since she took the rest of the money he gave her and invested it into something that'll last. That's what I think Dawn is like too. She's not always able to fight her demons oof by herself, but when she gets that little extra help from her friends, she's able to make something remarkable out of it.

Most importantly though, she doesn't judge right away or seeks the fight. Even when Paul was mean in the anime, she showed concern or at least tried to understand what was going on. Especially when he got defeated by Brandon, she seemed worried about him. Of course, they also had their tense moments, for example when he couldn't remember her name, but that's... well, part of the ships charm, I guess ^^

Anyways, that's my opinion on this, my idea for the picture.

Have a nice day and stay safe!

#pokemon paul #pokemon dawn #pokemon anime #pokemon shinji #pokemon hikari #ikarishipping #pokemon diamond and pearl #charlie chaplin #city lights #digital fanart #digital drawing #pokemon fanart #couple #twentieth century

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theuntitledblog · 3 months ago

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Alien: Romulus (2024) - REVIEW

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With Alien: Romulus, we're back in familiar territory with a sequel/prequel that opts for a more back to basics approach. Director Fede Alvarez moves away from Prometheus and Alien: Covenant by taking the series back to the visual style and tone of the originals. As a homage to the Ridley Scott and James Cameron era of Alien movies, Romulus is a triumph as it looks, moves and sounds like it could've been made in the late 1970's/early 80's. But perhaps the notable thing for me is that this has that same sense of dread that an Alien film should have as Romulus delivers on the chills, gore and thrills that perhaps the more recent films were somewhat lacking. Whether Alien: Romulus is the next major step forward for the series is up for debate as there's very little here that we haven't seen before to an extent.

It all starts slowly and spends time introducing Rain (Cailee Spaeny) , her synthetic brother Andy (David Jonsson) and the standard rag tag group which, this time, is comprised of worker friends who decide to infiltrate the decommissioned (or is it?) Romulus and Remus station. The film spends enough time to ensure that you do kind of care about them to an extent especially when you consider their lives against the hellish backdrop of the Jackson mining colony where the Weyland-Yutani Corp are essentially working them all slowly to death. However much like with Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, none of the leads are a match for Sigourney Weaver's Ripley although I do feel that Cailee Spaeny has come the closest with her relationship with David Jonsson's Andy being the most interesting in the film. The MVP of the film for me is Jonsson's dual performance as two versions of Andy with the secondary version in particular adding some some additional tension and unpredictability.

The use of practical effects gives everything a really dirty, gritty and lived in look (like the originals) and is especially effective on the station itself. But it's the use of darkness, shoulder based camera shots that limit the field of vision and the interjecting use of both silence and sound that really ups the tension once the group reaches the station. With the added impact of the score, sound effects, moments of claustrophobia and even arachnophobia, I often found myself tensing up and on the edge of my seat not knowing where the next scare is coming from or what horror might suddenly reveal itself. These are old tricks that have all been used before, but that still doesn't stop it from being effective here and make no mistakes, Alien: Romulus is as tense and scary as you'd hope it be.

But there's also no question that the film offers fan service in a way that Prometheus and Alien: Covenant didn't, for better or worse. Elements of the story naturally link back to 1979's Alien but there is also a surprising reference to Prometheus and the origins of the Xenomorphs as well. While these sort of references in the story itself didn't bother me in the slightest, the repeated use iconic lines from the series as well as the structural similarities may prove to be more challenging for others. There's no question for me that the worst offender is the use of a classic Aliens line in particular that is misjudged and took me out the movie for a moment. Whether this is all enough to hinder your enjoyment of the film is for you to decide but for me however, none of this took away from the quality of the filmmaking and the overall roller coaster ride that this film takes you on. The Xenomorphs in particularly are gloriously realized using practical effects and there are a number of tense and fun set pieces that made me sit up think that they are back to their full glory.

VERDICT

Alien: Romulus may lack originality but it looks and sounds fantastic and is a scary and thrilling roller coaster ride of a movie. The best Alien movie since Aliens.

****

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cannibal-wings · 8 months ago

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WIP Wednesday For You Pay the Cost I'm currently working on the Méndez boss fight. Here are two little snippets from it. This is probably the most rough I've ever posted. Usually my WIP Wednesday stuff has gone through a bit of editing, but these chunks haven't. They're as close to raw as they can get. Currently the fight is at 3K words, and I'm expecting another 2K at least, since I haven't even hit phase two yet. Anyways, enjoy! I'm off to work. (Update might not be next week, with the holidays this weekend, and I'm hosting, claiming my days off, my time to write will be limited. I wouldn't be surprised if the update drops late next week or early the week after)

“Be careful,” Ashley said behind him. It was clear that she had picked up on his unease as well.

“I always am,” he said but that didn’t seem to have the effect he wanted. He supposed his arm in a sling was proof enough that just being careful wasn’t all he needed to do. The movement to Leon’s right was so sudden and explosive that he hardly had time to turn his head. His body was hit, hard, enough to throw him against the side rail and snap it. The momentum carried him across the open space and he hit the concrete floor below with force. Leon would have cried out in pain if the wind hadn’t been kicked from his lungs.

He rolled several times before he came to a stop face down. He lay there motionless, trying to force his lungs to remember how to breathe. His eyes were watering and his vision was white with pain. Finally, he drew a gasp, then another, like a fish out of water. Something off to his right hit the floor as well, it was heavy, and gave no cry of pain. It wasn’t Ashley. Leon pulled his good arm up underneath him and pushed. Slowly he got himself to his knees and looked over. It was Méndez. He turned so he was facing him, his whole body was still shaking with pain. When he looked up at the where he was, he saw a hole had been busted through the wooden wall. That man wasn’t human, that was for certain. There was no way someone could ram him through a solid wood wall with enough force to break metal and likely bone. Leon carefully felt around his ribs but he couldn’t tell if the pain there was from the giant fight, the bull man’s hammer, or the various other times he had been thrown around today.

Méndez started to walk towards him, slowly, in a manner not unlike something that had cornered its prey. “Little Protector, you have forced my hand.”

Leon was still struggling to process his own bodies movements; words were lost on him. But he heard Ashley call out from above, she was still near the walkway. “Leon! Oh my god, are you ok?”

At the sound of her voice Méndez turned to look at her. “I feel I must apologize, for what I am about to do to your Protector.” At that Leon shook his head and reached for his SG. He was able to get two good shots off. The first one hit Méndez in the back, he turned to look over at Leon and the second caught his chest. Fatal shots to someone who was human. “Cease your pointless struggling. Your body has already begun the change, abandon who you were and accept the will of our God.”

“You’re a shitty missionary you know that?” Leon managed to say between gasps of air. Méndez reached down to pick up his hat, it had fallen when he rammed into Leon from above.

Mendez began his approach again. “Lord Saddler wants you alive. But I think he’s making a mistake. You now share our blood, you have been bestowed our gifts, but you fight us every step of the way. You are unwilling and unworthy, and for that I must destroy you. Surely our Lord shall understand, and the Lady will be provided with a new Protector, one who understands its place.”

Leon didn’t like the sound of that. He shot three more times. It didn’t look like Méndez felt a single one. Leon might as well have been shooting him with BBs. “Oh almighty! Grant me the strength to fix your mistake!”

“Son of a bitch,” Leon muttered under his breath. He was going to have to fight, and the odds were looking less in his favor than normal. He quickly scanned the room for anything he could use to his advantage. This was a meat processing house after all, there had to be something he could use. He spotted a machine, a hoist, for hauling the carcasses up onto the tables, it looked like it was gas powered. Sure enough, there were barrels not too far away labeled “fuel”. Leon forced himself to his feet and shouted up at the walkway, “Ashley! Run!”

“Ok!” Her voice seemed hesitant, but her actions weren’t. With one last look down at Leon she sprinted for the stairs that led to the door to the outside.

Once he saw her orange jacket vanish through the door, he kicked the barrel over and shoved it towards Méndez. It started its roll towards the man and Leon didn’t have time to come up with anything clever to say besides, “Hasta luego!” He shot and the barrel exploded upon impact.

That wasn’t the only barrel of fuel, Leon didn’t notice that others had been stored nearby until he heard them go off. Four more loud bangs sounded off, followed by intense flames and clouds of thick, dark smoke. Another set of explosions pounded in from the opposite side, gasoline splattering the walls and pillars of the room. Everything was quickly caught in an intense blaze. Leon shielded his face with his good arm until the explosions ceased. When he lowered it he couldn’t see what was left of Méndez through the thick smoke. His next move was to try to find his own way out.

He looked behind him but there wasn’t a door, just a staircase to another walkway. The only door seemed to be behind the wall of fire he had just created. “Great,” Leon muttered. He solved one problem with another. He would have to run through the fire to get out. Not ideal. It could very well kill him. He gathered himself and started to move towards the fire when something stopped him, a chill ran down his spine despite the heat. Something else was moving in the haze of the flames.

Leon could hear a snapping sound, like breaking branches, followed by the wet sound of meat being torn apart. Again, that sound hit his ears, then he recognized it, bone snapping. It cracked and popped, blending in with the wood that was burning all around them. Through the fire he could see something twitching, then jerking upwards. With each pop it grew taller and it swayed back and forth on what Leon could only assume were legs. Then the whole figure turned towards Leon and began to advance towards him.

Méndez stepped into view. His upper body had become separated from his lower half. It sat on an elongated, exposed spine. Each set of vertebrae now sported sharp insectoid legs that wiggled independently from each other. It reminded him of a centipede. Leon took a step back, then another. “The fuck?” Méndez grew closer still, he didn’t seem disturbed by his body’s sudden mutation.

“God, I thank you for your gift,” Méndez said as he calmly strode towards Leon. Two bulbus growths on his back burst at once, spraying fluid as his body lurched and rolled. Two more appendages sprang out of his back, insectoid again, long, thick, with five joints. Corse hair and spines glinted fresh in the firelight. The tips were curved and sharp. No doubt they were designed to pierce. The limbs were dragging on the floor as Méndez gathered himself, strong spine pulling his upper body and the new arms back up to their full height.

Leon was already backing up. His claws and carapace suddenly seemed a lot less threatening. He spread his mandibles wide and hissed before he said, “You wanna get ugly? Let’s get ugly!” Bold words from a frightened man.

Méndez once more didn’t seem impressed by his threat display or the words that followed. He simply laughed and said, “I knew God would see my side, I knew he would agree with me. You will not live to regret your choice to turn your back on us. Now, behold the miracle!”

Méndez seemed to be getting frustrated. He lashed out more desperately than before. The erratic movements were harder to predict, harder to dodge and Leon caught one to the side that flung him against the wall. The air wasn’t knocked from his lungs this time and he recovered quickly. He quickly shot a few times to distract the monster as he fully got back to his feet. Sweat was running down his back, or at least, Leon hoped it was sweat. He wiped his face, somehow the carapace on his hand was cool despite the heat around him.

“We share the same blood,” Méndez said as he turned to make his way over to where he had tossed Leon, “why do you resist?”

“I’m not answering that, there’s nothing I could say to a man who’s lost himself.” Leon shot again, this time more bullets hit than missed. He was getting more confident and comfortable aiming one handed. “I don’t share your blood either,” Leon spat. He could feel Méndez’s gaze on him. “D-Don’t look at me! I’m not like you, I’ll never be like you! Some sort of monster!” He flared his jaws and said, “You freaks can mess my face up, change my legs, my arms, I don’t care! I won’t be like you, it won’t work.”

“And that, Little Protector, is why I’ve decided to exterminate you.” In a movement faster than what Leon could see, Méndez swiped and caught Leon off balance. He moved in and grabbed the other man with his human hands. He had long, sharp, talons that didn’t struggle in piercing between Leon’s neck plates. He squirmed and struggled in his grasp. “To think you could be this foolish, to reject a gift as wonderful as this!”

Leon looked at Méndez, if there was a good man in there, he was lost now. That Leon was certain of. He couldn’t reach his knife with his injured arm, nor could he get it with his free hand. He kicked out and slashed at Méndez’s chest with his feet claws. The pressure on his neck tightened and he hissed in pain not intimidation. His heart was beating faster now, he needed a way out and fast. He tried again with the claws on his feet. He managed to rake them across his chest but despite digging in deep Méndez didn’t let go. He moved his hand with the SG just enough to line up with Méndez’s leg. He closed his eyes and prayed he didn’t miss. He squeezed the trigger and shot three times, his knee buckled and Leon felt himself drop to the floor.

He landed and scooted back as Méndez fell against the upper walkway. He roared and looked over at him. Leon felt a chill run through him. Those insect arms were a lot longer than they appeared. Mendez flung them out and they came crashing down on him like trees. There wasn’t any space to dodge, his back was against the wall, he had cornered himself again.

Leon didn’t even have time to swear. He raised his good arm and closed his eyes. Ready to hear the crack of carapace and then nothing as he was crushed under the weight of Méndez’s arms. The searing pain was just what Leon expected, only it hadn’t come from his arm, but his sides. Both sides of his body flashed hot with pain, just below his ribcage, as something split his skin and burst forth from his body.

Leon dropped to one knee and cried out. He wasn’t dead, but he sure felt he should be. His body spasmed. His brain was registering resistance on what felt like an arm, but not the arm he was used to. Through watering eyes, he looked up and saw limbs he didn’t recognize. They were holding off Méndez’s claw, which was far too close to his face for his own comfort.

Leon knew they were his immediately. He didn’t even have to look to see where they were connected, he just knew. He had two more arms now, and they were in the process of saving his life. His body shuddered and the new limbs crawled further from his body. With each push they grew longer and stronger. Leon watched as a hand formed at the end of each one. The fingers that unraveled looked like a human’s for a brief moment, before the pointer and middle fingers fused into a long blade like claw. He pushed back hard against Méndez and was surprised to find the monster giving ground to him.

Leon screamed as his body gave one last push and the arms fully extended out of his body. He stood and shoved the limb off and ducked to the side. He took a brief moment to catch his breath and look at the two new arms by his side. They were thin, more like insect limbs than human, but they had the correct number of human joints, a clear shoulder, or pivot point against his body, then an elbow and wrist. The hands weren’t human anymore, but they did have three fingers. That, Leon decided, was enough to hold a shotgun with.

Blood and fluid leaked down Leon’s sides from spot where the new limbs had burst forth, but already the pain was dulling. That healing factor was kicking in again. Leon holstered his handgun and moved for the shotgun. Sure enough, the new arm responded just like his old, injured one. It found its place on the front of the shotgun, the long blade like claw was easy to rest the gun against and the remaining fingers held it in place.

He moved in on Méndez, firing as he walked. The Merchant hadn’t been kidding, this gun packed a hell of a punch, but he hardly felt it against his shoulder. He fired three shots in rapid succession into the spine and Méndez finally howled in pain. He curled in on himself, human arms wrapping around his exposed spine. When he looked at Leon there was pure hatred burning in his eye. “Why? Why has God given you, a heretic, a gift? Have I been betrayed? Was my judgment not true?” Leon didn’t have the answers that the monster needed. He just shot again and again, pumping him full of lead. Méndez swept out again with the long piercing limb. This time Leon jumped on top of it, his dexterous toes wrapping around the limb and he followed the swing as it moved him closer to the upper walkway. He pushed off and jumped to the upper floor in one smooth movement. This time when he spread his jaws and hissed Méndez flinched. “Maybe it’s time to take this “Little Protector” seriously!”

#WIP Wednesday #You Pay the Cost #Resident Evil #Leon Kennedy #Plaga Leon AU #Verdugo Leon AU #Resident Evil 4

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