#I don’t think to fix my normal
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bisexualamy · 3 months ago
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sometimes it feels like stealing valor to say I’m chronically ill bc I don’t have One Big Thing wrong with me just a small cluster of chronic disorders, but sometimes I think about the fact that I need 2-3 specialists and a minimum of 4 daily medications to function enough to hold down a job and friendships and I just cannot believe people’s bodies and brains just… work.
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cool-star-beans · 2 months ago
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Sooo, who likes mermaids/sirens? Anyway, I absolutely adore when reader and the dca are little kids.
With this, I’m planning on making cute little comics with them. I don’t plan on adding any romance (only platonic love) or making this a full-fledged storyline; they’re just kids who don’t fully understand the dangers of being friends :D Silly little adventures
Hmm, I don't know what to call this any suggestions?
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finniestoncrane · 6 days ago
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I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I need but I’m glad I’ve got therapy tomorrow
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dykedvonte · 6 months ago
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why do you hate Joshua Graham or Honest Hearts so much?
This DLC and character represents a bigger issue with fandom spaces I have but particularly fallout fandom in general.
Fallout tends to tackle a lot of topics controversial and not. The first two games it’s heavy cause they are the most satirical and direct with how anti-war, nationalism and etc… they are. 3 loses this as it’s very clear once you play or learn about all the games that Todd and a bunch of guys at Bethesda just liked the 50s post apocalyptic aesthetic and refuse to actually critique the ideals of the time period like the earlier titles.
New Vegas is the game that really gets back into it a degree it almost seems like it’s taking too much on. There are things done exceedingly well while other things are done horribly wrong . I’ve made posts about it before and plan to make a big series of posts (it’s a lot of writing) but my biggest gripe is with Honest Hearts and all the gross and white savior esque depictions it has of indigenous peoples. The entirety if FNV does not do the injustices faced by indigenous people correctly on any count. My two biggest complaints are with the Khans and the tribes in Zion but I’ll talk about the former on a different post.
Both characters of Daniel and Joshua are the most accurate depiction of white saviors I’ve seen and I hate how the DLC tries to justify and defend them. The DLC treats Joshua like this man who has repented for his past actions when he is just retracing his steps after his cruelty bit him in the ass. He was one of the worst parts of the Legion and it is all but explicitly stated that if you don’t force him to be non-violent he will turn the tribes of Zion into the legion 2.0. The Dead Horses and the Sorrows are horribly infantilized by both Daniel and Joshua who both use them for self serving purposes guised by religious duty. The White Legs are the horrible stereotype of violent and savage indigenous and I personally think a lot of their interlinking with Ulysses, his hair and Ulysses character in general are distasteful and very telling of how BIPOC or POC where involved.
But outside of the game it’s the weird obsession people have with these characters ideologies and trying to make them seem more interesting/philosophical than they are. Tumblr is an echo chamber and many fans of Fallout are not the people on this site. Many people are not educated in the issues these characters convey and how poorly they do or used these characters as a poor introduction for their takes. Contrary to what a lot of people believe in, fallout has a prediomeny white cis male fanbase. More importantly a large portion of the fanbase is white.
You can joke how FNV made you trans or see the numbers on post/fics or diverse headcanons but these are kiddy numbers compared to the millions that consume the franchise and aren’t in those more aware spaces or don’t engage in the spaces the same way someone like me does/has to. Their views shape a lot more than people realize and it’s exhausting to be in a space where people don’t correct the more subtle yet toxic aspects of it but also adopt them into some weird quirky view point on the characters or issues. Some people don’t realize and some people don’t care.
My main issue is just the idolizing of these sort of thing in this fandom space and people try to acts like a game like fallout whose tagline is “War never changes” and has never had a game not revolve around political or militaristic factions issues isn’t that deep or doesn’t relate to real issues. I think it’s mainly caused by how over powered you can become and how you can strong arm your way past these learning moments as majority of people who play this game do play it as a power fantasy where they can do so as they please (which of course, go ahead it’s fun) but never take in parallels or lessons in the story as if it was just another first person shooter.
Also like another personal gripe is Cazadores spawn like hell whenever I’m there and I have not found a mod that works to mod them out so I have to play Indigenous Racism the DLC while getting jumped by giant wasps WHILE helping Mormons. Like I cannot catch a break.
#I’m mostly silly or character headcanon focused on this blog#but sometimes I forget some people literally have never interacted with someone slightly outside of their ideologies or don’t learn about#philosophies that don’t pertain to their view point and actively block them out#and so I have like a meltdown and occasionally post about it cause like I see more people hate Danse for regurgitating BoS teachings than#hate Joshua Graham who helped found the legion participated in their practices and still has this weird bloodlust#like make it make sense why do you like this white man genuinly like outside of his aesthetic#I can say silly shit about them hit it’s always I think it’s surreal they even exist while others genuinely wish they did so they could fix#them and some of all don’t realize how quickly jokes lead people down rabbit holes and pipe lines cause ur not gonna see posts even pitying#that man in here#like when I defend Danse it is through the signs and events in game that show he is not stuck in his ways and possibly only adopted those#beliefs because of his tramatic events with super mutants and the bos being very anti anything not human#their are affinity reaction that concern this while Joshua like moans yes when killing the white legs and is always polishing his gun goon#pile like I’ve learned too much about him the Mormon faith and that dlc to be told I’m playing favorites he is not fixable or repentent#this fandom has one of the worst issues of he’s my fave so he can’t do wrong when some of this characters are literal unapologetic rapist#racists or individuals who condone or perpetuate like ideas and concepts like obviously I’m gonna not like them????!#like I still think it’s interest to dissect them and I try so hard to not be a hypocrite but sometimes it’s like the whole this is just a#fun thing for you but like be aware of what you are taking in and reflect like is so important fiction can slowly seep into your morals#I’m rambling and losing track of shit so imma stop here before I reach the tag limit but again dm and ask cause this is the stuff I will#blab about#horrible at normal conversation tho#fallout#fallout new vegas#joshua graham#honest hearts#ask#anon#fallout 3
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starredforlife · 7 months ago
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it’s so funny how sometimes you’ll be like I’m an evil person and I shouldn’t let myself exist and then you have to battle and win the mind thoughts to be normal again and then it’s fine. until the next time
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wildsaltair · 2 months ago
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little collection of screencaps of my adorable stockman boyfriend <3
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butnotbubblegum · 4 months ago
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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aliosne · 5 months ago
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Me earlier: what if when they scan my tiddies they see a angry little gnome in there whose been causing all my various Ailments and they kick him out and then I dont suck anymore
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 8 months ago
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what is your most wacky ship??? i'm really curious
hmmmm . hmmmmmmmmmmm. probably gojo/higuruma…… just because they haven’t interacted at all :0 i just know in my heart that gojo would Love him <3 higu is literally just a blend between geto and nanami so. yeah. gojo is falling so fast and higuruma would just treat him very decently i think …….
OH AND . haibara/geto is popular in some corners of the jp fandom i think but !! i love them lots :(( they’re so underrated.
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badolmen · 1 month ago
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Some of you think a Fascist™ country is defined by an oppressive dictatorship that results in a greyscale dystopian society and it shows.
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cuteniarose · 2 months ago
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Sometimes I wish I had more people interested in my creations, but then I get hit by thoughts like “Imagine the outrage you’d be faced with if your Avatar Suiren AU was more popular. This is the fandom that still cannot ‘forgive’ Korra for SOMETHING THAT WAS DONE TO HER, calling her the worst Avatar for losing the connection to her past lives (which came about because she HAD RAAVA LITERALLY RIPPED OUR OF HER) and acting like that is somehow a worse offence than, say, inaction leading to genocide. The hate you’d get for intentionally making Suiren the last Avatar would be IMMEASURABLE” and go “… actually, I’m glad that for the most part it’s just @katkastrofa and I–”
(Though then again… would it even be an AU by yours truly if it didn’t contain at least one cancellable offence? 😁)
#don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong#also Suiren is even less like Aang than Korra is. she wouldn’t stand a chance in this fandom#everyone knows most people in this fandom can’t handle angry brown girls#and Suiren is honestly on a whole different level#so yeah#I’m glad it’s not a well known thing#but her biggest offence would of course be letting go of Raava#and thus also losing the connection to her past lives and ending the Avatar cycle#her next incarnation will not be the Avatar. they’ll be just a normal EK kid#and that is the biggest crime an Avatar could ever commit#deciding to spare future generations of the burden#the Avatar should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one person#and every Avatar we know of was stuck in an endless cycle of fixing their predecessors’ mistakes#nobody deserves that. especially not a child. and the Avatars ARE discovered as children for the most part#even at 16 like Roku Kyoshi and Kuruk is still way too young for having the fate of the world on your shoulders#I’d argue any age is too young#the world can’t depend on one person to solve their problems#the avatar is ultimately human. they make mistakes. they’re biased. they can be corrupted#and not a single generation goes by without at least one world-scale threat. nothing any avatar does is every enough. it’s a thankless job#no era of peace has ever lasted long. that has to be something worked for by the world at large#ending the cycle is the correct move because then the world will not be looking to the Avatar for every issue#and will actually start sorting shit out themselves. that’s my (very correct) view of it. at least#but again. this fandom will not be able to handle that. because they care about a bunch of long dead ghosts more than living characters#I’m sorry but sparing at least one kid of the trauma that comes with being the Avatar makes losing the past lives connection worth it#to me at least. and it’s not like breaking the connection erases them from ever existing like Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. they’re remembered#just can’t be accessed anymore. and that’s okay. they deserve to rest#(forgive me for the Genshin Impact reference it was the only thing I could think of. it was a brief phase I don’t play it anymore)#anyway. idk where this rant/meta just came from. I apparently have A Lot of thoughts about this AU that aren’t limited to Kuviren smut lmao#Avatar Suiren AU#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness
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the-casbah-way · 8 months ago
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grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA
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gregmarriage · 2 months ago
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my period app being like ‘late for 38 days!!’
baby girl, i haven’t had a period, since this time in may, but alright <3
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herearedragons · 11 months ago
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A non-exhaustive list of possible alternative endings for Devil of Caroc:
the Watcher is a cipher; they use their mind reading abilities to download Devil’s maintenance routine directly from Galvino’s brain and then teach it to her
same as above, except the Watcher (any class) uses their soul reading ability to watch the moment from Galvino’s past when he came up with said maintenance routine
the Watcher is and/or knows a brilliant mechanic; they reverse-engineer Devil’s maintenance routine and then teach it to her
a restored Abydon offers the Watcher a boon as thanks for helping his restoration; the Watcher asks him to bless Devil’s body so that it wouldn’t rust. Optionally, Abydon empathizes with the experience of being stuck in a metal construct and also gives her the ability to sense/smell again.
same as above, but Abydon straight up turns her back into a flesh and blood human, mirroring his own restoration
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heartual · 3 months ago
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fated-normal-767 · 3 months ago
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Godddd I bet Zagreus and Melinöe would actually kinda fucking hate eachother . Not even in a necessarily fun siblings way like I could see them killing eachother or something . Speaking of which, who do you think would win in a fight? I think they’d both be pretty evenly matched but I’d give the edge to Melinöe if we’re counting upgrades via mirror of the night / the tarot(?) but if not then Zagreus might be able to win given our reliance on being able to replenish our uh. Magic thingies in the second game .
I think melinöe would win because Zagreus seems to have the belief that (in the first game) even though he doesn’t really know most of the gods they’re family so he can trust them and work with them, so even if he didn’t like what melinöe was saying or her morals he’d still try to convince her. and she wouldn’t do that.
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