#I don’t know how people think normally but my ex made it very clear that it’s not the way I have been doing things
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it’s so funny how sometimes you’ll be like I’m an evil person and I shouldn’t let myself exist and then you have to battle and win the mind thoughts to be normal again and then it’s fine. until the next time
#star’s thoughts#I don’t know how people think normally but my ex made it very clear that it’s not the way I have been doing things#like not to sound like the joker#sorry#I’m simply tired of the way things work in here 🧠#there is smthn weird with me that’s very hard to fix and also very difficult to live with
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The Eye of the Hurricane [1] - A Night Out
A.N: Here we go my loves, the first chapter! ❤️ I hope you'll like it, and please don't forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤️
Summary: A night out with an old friend can lead to surprises.
Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don't condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Sometimes you wondered what it would be like to have a normal life.
Granted that was never in the cards but you liked to pretend from time to time. You knew it was selfish and incredibly dangerous as everyone kept reminding you, yet you didn’t care. After all, it was one of the very few luxuries you couldn’t afford and you were nothing if not determined.
Besides, considering since you were expected not to be a part of the family business, you figured you could enjoy the benefits for the time being.
So far, there was no sign of any bodyguards your father always made sure to put on your tail which meant he was blissfully unaware of where you were or what you were doing. If it were any other time, you would have been surprised by that alone but surprises seemed to be the theme of the week. To be completely honest, you had your doubts when your ex from college had contacted you to say he was moving to the city and wanted to catch up with you. Even though he was one of the very few ex-boyfriends you had broken up with on good terms, he still had an inkling about your family and most of the time, people were too intimidated by that to catch up with you.
With good reason.
But tonight was going to be different. Setting up a casual dinner and drinks night outside your father’s territory was a great first step for in your opinion, for a couple of hours you could pretend you were a normal girl who was having a normal night out with a normal guy.
You even drove your own car to the bar, something you hadn’t done in a long time.
“So yeah, let’s just say that it wasn’t the wisest decision.”
You let out a laugh, tilting your head.
“I don’t know Ethan,” you said. “Taking a girl to a horror themed corn maze? You get an A for effort.”
“In my defense, it was like two weeks after you broke up with me so I wasn’t thinking straight,” he said. “Besides, she said she liked horror movies.”
You hummed. “And how did that go?”
“Terribly,” he pointed out with a grin. “We got lost, and then I had this bright idea of finding the guide myself and we went in different directions, and she got out and I ended up getting even more lost.”
You pressed your palm on your mouth to hide your laugh.
“Then she sent the guide to find me,” he said and you cleared your throat, trying to keep a serious expression.
“You do realize you are the type of person who wouldn’t last an hour in a horror movie, right?”
“People who are trying to survive in horror movies have too much ambition if you ask me,” he said and sipped his drink. “How about you? Any terrible dates since our uh…fairytale romance?”
“We dated for like three months during sophomore year Ethan,” you said with a laugh and he nodded with a grin.
“They were good three months though.”
“Oh please,” you said. “I’m not even sure I could call that dating, I basically had to beg you to spend time with me.”
“We spent a lot of time—”
“In daylight,” you corrected yourself. “You had no problem finding time for me at night.”
He scrunched up his face, then nodded his head.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “Yeah I’m…I’m sorry about that. I was an ass.”
“Water under the bridge,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. “College is the perfect time for relationship mistakes, and to be honest I was kind of an idiot.”
“Oh come on Y/N,” he said with a chuckle. “I was the idiot. You were perfect, you still are.”
You scoffed.
“Not even close, trust me,” you said and raised your hand at the bartender, motioning for another drink. The bar wasn’t crowded by any means, only another couple by another booth and three men playing pool. A silence fell upon you and Ethan shifted his weight.
“So uh—can I ask you something?”
Your heart skipped a nervous beat but you made sure it didn’t show on your face. “Sure.”
“Was it…” he paused and took a deep breath. “Was it true?”
The waitress brought you your drink and you thanked her, then turned to Ethan again. “Hm?”
“You know, back in college there were all these rumors,” he stammered. “About your family and you never really said— whether they were true or not.”
Ah. Back to that, of course.
You had practiced this calmness way too many times for it to falter even for a moment, and you sipped your drink.
“I totally forgot,” you said. “Remind me what those rumors were?”
“People used to say your father—he and his business partners, I mean,” he said with a nervous laugh. “My friends used to say the city was divided between them.”
“Sounds quite medieval,” you pointed out, leaning back as a couple of men walked in, chattering. Ethan thought for a moment, then scoffed a laugh.
“Right,” he said. “I don’t know why I…don’t mind me. It does sound unreal, I mean—what are the chances that a couple of families rule the entire city, right?”
“I don’t know, I hear it was a thing in the 18th century,” you stated, catching the gaze of the man who had just walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. You eyed him up and down and by the time your gaze fell on the shape of the gun tucked underneath his jacket, you had already straightened your back, your whole body going tense.
“Jesus you should’ve heard the things they said. To be honest with you, I actually believed that whole underworld thing for some time,” Ethan said as the man said something to his friends while your eyes darted around the room, your heartbeat getting faster as you reached for the knife beside your plate.
Great.
This was not your ideal night out alright.
“Now to think about it, it’s not—”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence when you threw the knife at one of the men and kicked the chair under Ethan, making him lose his balance before you flipped the table so that you could use it as a cover for you both as soon as the shooting started. The bullets wheezed past you, the couple by the other booth screaming while you pushed Ethan’s head down.
“What the hell is going on?!” he asked as you looked over the table for a second and turned to him, your heart beating in your ears, adrenaline rushing through you so fast that it made your head spin.
“I can explain later, do you have a gun with you?”
“What?!”
“I don’t think I should be repeating myself right now Ethan!” you hissed as shots echoed through the bar and he shook his head.
“No of course not!”
“The one time I ditch the bodyguards,” you grumbled “This is unbelievable…”
“Miss Y/N!” the man’s voice rang over the bar and you gritted your teeth. “The infamous princess. Such a surprise meeting you here, where are your daddy’s men?”
“On their way here I’m guessing but before they get here, I just have one question,” you called out. “Are you guys fucking idiots?”
He tsk tsked.
“That daddy of yours spoiled you too much,” he said. “Has anyone told you that?”
“Yeah, multiple men,” you retorted. “Didn’t end well for them I’ll tell you that.”
“I’d say it looks like it’ll end well for me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure buddy,” you said. “I’ll be surprised if you last the night.”
Several gunshots came from the corners of the bar, and you took cover again but before you could say anything else, you felt someone grab you and pull you upright. You grabbed the gun from him and fired it right at his knee, making him let out a scream of anguish and fall to the floor. The door of the kitchen was kicked open right before more guns were fired in the chaos which made it clear that it wasn’t Steve’s men who were trying to shoot you considering it was his territory, this was his one of many bars and these new people, whoever they were, were shooting at his men as well. It made absolutely zero sense that someone would attack you like this, especially since—
“Everyone stop or the next bullet goes through his head!”
You turned to point the pistol at the owner of the voice but as soon as you did, your heart dropped to your stomach. The man –probably the leader— holding the gun at Ethan’s head smirked and motioned at you.
“Drop the gun sweetheart.”
“Y/N, don’t!” Ethan said, trying to get out of his grip but the man fired the gun through his shoulder, making him yell out in pain and you gritted your teeth. The headlights of a car flashed outside, capturing your attention for a moment before you lowered the gun, someone hastily grabbing it from you. The leader pushed Ethan to one of his friends and stepped closer to you, now aiming the gun at your face but you were way too good at keeping your fear under control in situations like these to flinch at it.
You’d had a lifetime of practice after all.
“So what do you say we take a little trip outside huh?” he asked and you arched a brow.
“What do you say you go fuck yourself?”
He cocked the gun and you rolled your eyes.
“Oh no, a gun,” you deadpanned, checking your fingernails. “Am I supposed to be scared now?”
“This is not your daddy’s territory, girl.”
You scoffed a laugh and lifted your glances from your nails. “Doesn’t matter, you idiot. The truce has been going on for years now, and anyone who breaks it will pay for that mistake with their lives. What is this, your first day on the job?”
“No one taught you not to smart mouth the man holding the gun?”
“No one taught you not to sign your own death sentence?” you asked back and he gave you a dry chuckle, taking a step towards you, still holding the gun.
“Keep talking like that,” he said. “Maybe I’ll take my time with you before handing you over to the boss.”
You opened your mouth to retort but before you could say anything, a deafening shot echoed through the room and blood splattered all over your face and your dress. The leader’s lifeless body dropped to the floor and you wiped at your face with a grimace before you turned to glare at your savior who looked almost amused at your annoyed expression.
“Bucky,” you gritted out and he winked at you, that arrogant grin you knew so well pulling at his lips.
“Hi Charm.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#mob! bucky#mob!bucky barnes#mob bucky barnes#mob!bucky barnes x reader#mob boss!bucky#mob bucky barnes x reader
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i don’t feel alright ✩ kylian mbappé
Summary: you went for the first time with kylian to a party, but you didn’t expect to see his ex-girlfriend (she’s mean 😡)
Note: just a little bit of angst and i tried my best, so i hope you guys like it! :)
Kylian puts his arms around your waist and tucks you better into his lap, he knows how much you love being close to him and does everything to make you comfortable.
"It's your first time here, right?" Neymar asks with curiosity in his eyes.
You lift your gaze to him and nod briefly with a small smile. "I've never been here before, I'm not normally one to go out much."
"But I'm changing that." Kylian moves you to sit sideways on his lap so that he can face you as he speaks.
"Unfortunately." You chuckle.
In the meantime, you got lost in the middle of Neymar’s conversation about the Liga’s games and watched the people dancing around with drinks in hand.
For a moment you thought you saw wrong, but you knew better, and you knew VERY WELL who that person next to Tchaga was.
Tchaga came closer and with each step you felt your heart speed up a little more. Why was he bringing her close to you? It was so uncomfortable, you felt uncomfortable with the presence of a person who always teased you.
During the months you and Kylian have been together, she has always made it clear that she doesn't like you and that Kylian’s friends are her friends too. The only thing you had to do was to accept this and keep all this teasing to yourself.
"Hey, doll. How are you? Long time no see." Tchaga pulls you off Kylian’s lap and hooks his arms around your neck pulling you into a hug. It's impossible not to like him, he's always been extremely affectionate and kind to you.
You disengage from the embrace and smile openly at him. "I'm fine, I missed you so much."
Tchaga runs his hand through your hair affectionately and already sets off to greet Neymar and Kylian. When he leaves your field of vision, you see the way Rose looks at you.
Of course she ignores you and goes off to greet the boys with all the happiness in the world, but you let it pass. You won't let it ruin your night.
Conversation goes on and on and you can only get stressed out by the way Kylian doesn't seem to notice in the way she treats him. You hate the way she laughs at him, you hate the way she puts her hand on his knee while talking and you hate even more how no one seems to notice the way she ignores you.
They believe this talk of her wanting to keep their friendship, even after they have been dating for 2 years, and simply ignore how she still loves him and how she still wants to be with him.
These thoughts of negativity come at you and you just want to run away, you just want to get out of there as fast as possible and ignore them until everything is sorted out in your mind.
It's not jealousy, you swear it's not. It's just unfair how everyone seems to ignore how you feel and not even question whether you would be comfortable with her presence there.
You murmur, already getting up to leave. "I'm going to get something to drink."
Kylian turns to you and lets out a smile, already getting ready to get up to walk you to the bar. You put a hand on his shoulder to make sure he stays seated. "Stay there, I won't be long."
He finds your attitude strange and your manner of speaking so serious, he really doesn't understand what has happened. He watches you leave with a frown and is tempted to leave to go after you, but Neymar looks at him and says to leave you alone for a while.
You lean against the bar and feel Kylian’s gaze burning into your back, but you don't turn to face him. You just need to take a deep breath and think straight before you say something that could hurt both of you in the process; you don't want to act impulsively and regret it later.
You order a drink from the barista and just feel your phone vibrating in your front pants pocket, you know it's Kylian and try your best not to pick it up and read the messages, but you can't control yourself.
Kyky 🥰: hey!!!!
Kyky 🥰: What's going on?
You took a deep breath and stuck to answering his messages briefly.
You: Nothing happened, I just felt thirsty.
Kyky 🥰: I know you. Kyky 🥰: Please, don't lie to me.
And he is right, he knows you. He knows you so well that you get annoyed, he knows every single detail about you and he can decipher your every thought and expression.
You: I don't know, Kylian. I really don't know.
You: I only feel like a stranger when she is around you.
You let out a sigh after sending this message, letting this thought that has been troubling you for a long time get out of your mind and transmit it to Kylian causes you a mix of anxiety and nervousness about what he will think.
Kyky 🥰: I'm coming to you, stay there.
You put your cell phone back in your pocket and lean more sharply against the bar counter in expectation of Kylian’s appearance.
Lost in your thoughts, you only feel a pair of strong arms around your waist and Kylian resting his chin on your shoulder.
"You're the most important person in my life" He whispers in your ear and in the meantime leaves a kiss on your neck. "I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was letting you down and that your feelings aren't important."
You let out a tense sigh, the fear of losing Kylian terrifies you in a crazy way.
"I don't want it to sound like I'm forbidding you from seeing your friends, but…" You pause to think of the right words to describe what you are really feeling, "I don't know, Kylian. She doesn't like me because she still loves you, she wants to get back with you and the thought of losing you hurts me and I really don't want to go through another disappointment, I don't know…I…"
Kylian turns you around to face him and stares deep into your eyes. "Hey...Look at me, I'm completely in love with you. I can't even think of another word that defines how I feel about you except love." He sighs and runs his hand through your hair, messing up a few strands. "I hadn't noticed these attitudes of hers and I guess for a moment I was excited about the idea of keeping the friendship, but if she doesn't treat you well and it bothers you, I completely understand and respect that. I want to apologize for not noticing this sooner, but I need you to communicate more when something or someone bothers you, mon amour…" He strokes his thumb across your cheek and looks at you with those dark eyes.
You see the sincerity in his gaze and regret not having spoken to him before, you would have avoided so much inorpotent upset thoughts.
“I was scared to look like a neurotic, but I don’t really feel comfortable with these attitudes of her, Kylian.” He runs his arms around your hip and you melt into the comfort of his arms. He always knows how to make you feel good.
"I will never ignore your feelings and try to put you in that "crazy" position" He caresses your cheek once more and leaves a kiss this time. "I know it's a complicated situation and I apologize again for not asking you instead of just letting her into your life like that, even more now knowing that she treated you badly."
You completely understand his position, especially since you didn't speak or explain your thoughts. Kylian will always find a way to work things out with you and help you sort out your feelings and that's one of the things you love most about him, the way he always makes a point of caring about how you feel.
"Thank you for understanding me, I love you." You first leave a kiss on the cheek, another on the neck and forward your lips to his deepening a kiss to show all your love for him.
Kylian reciprocated, letting one hand slide to your hip while the other went to the back of your neck so he could have control to deepen the kiss even further. After your little show, he separates giving you three pecks. "Let's say goodbye to Tchaga and Neymar and let's go. We have business to discuss, young lady."
He gives you a smirk and pulls you by the waist to say goodbye. Now, more than ever, you know there will be no more ex-girlfriend problems.
#kylian mbappe x reader#kylian mbappe fluff#kylian mbappe angst#kylian mbappe#kylian mbappe x you#kylian mbappe imagine#kylian mbappe fanfic#football one shot#football x reader#football fanfic#kylian x reader#kylian imagines#football imagine
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Hello! I sincerely hope everything goes well for you in the future. The reason I am sending this ask is that I am taking a class in Stanford called “Genocide and Humanitarian Intervention” currently, and while we haven’t gotten to the part in the course where we talk about current events, my professor said that there is a very clear case to be made that Russia is committing genocide against Ukraine. I was wondering if, as a Ukrainian, you had anything you wanted/would be willing to add. I know you talk about your experiences in Ukraine quite frequently, but I don’t remember if you ever touched on this specific topic. Sorry if I am making you repeat yourself or if this is formatted or worded poorly.
Hi! Thank you for your ask, I'm more than willing to share my thoughts!
Of course, there are large things. Russia is committing genocide by murdering Ukrainian men, women, and children (we have so many new cemeteries now), stealing and burning our land, bombing historical sights and churches, attacking fields with crops, factories, etc. It's eliminating our language and culture in the placed it occupies, and it's been doing it for decades. Most ex-Soviet countries have Russian as their pre-dominant language. Not because they lack their own language, but because USSR spent a lot of effort on turning everyone Russian and making people forget where they come from. Ukraine is not an exception, although it's incredibly resilient, especially now, after the full-scale war.
But Russia is also committing genocide in smaller ways. It bombs our critical infrastructure. We have a severe lack of electricity as a result. What does it entail? Much more than people normally think. As an example, right now, it's over 40 degrees Celsius outside. When there is no electricity, the elevators and air conditioners don't work. Just recently, I was taking a walk, and I saw an old man sitting on the bench, asking people what time it was with increasing desperation. It was already dark outside, and he couldn't get home because he lives on one of the top floors. He can't use the stairs, so he's dependent on the electricity to simply get home.
During the winter 2023, multiple Ukrainians froze to death, mostly those who weren't able to leave their apartments due to the lack of heating and working elevators, the consequence of bombing.
Sick people, disabled people, those with fragile health are all being slowly killed by the situation Ukraine is in. I barely function in such a heat, and I'm a young woman. What about people with heart diseases? What about the elderly?
Hospitals and vet clinics can't perform surgeries with certainty that the generator isn't going to break at the most critical moment. Small business close down because they can't afford to work.
Russia has made bombing a gruesome art. When the bombing is coming, first, it turns on the connection on a combat range. Usually, it happens around 20:00. From then on, we know that the whole country is about to be bombed and people and animals are going to die - we just don't know who's going to bear the worst impact. At around 22:00-23:00, Russian bombers fly out. It takes them about 4 hours to approach our borders and send their missiles. Then another 1 or 2 hours. Sometimes they are faking it. Most often, they are not.
Imagine how it affects every Ukrainian. To know what's coming hours in advance and to be unable to do anything about it. How many nerve endings are being destroyed. How many stress-related diseases are brewing already inside us, waiting to kill us months, years, or decades later.
Fearing for our lives, for the lives of our loved ones. Fearing losing our apartments - regular people like me will be homeless if the missile targets our houses. Fearing dying in the war. Fearing Russians burning down and occupying our cities, towns, and villages.
Russia is killing us in many ways, some instant, some not. And if nothing changes drastically, if the world continues to condemn Russia on words and play nice with it in actions because it's beneficial to them, I think Russia will succeed. We are a very small country compared to it. It will simply overwhelm us at some point, killing and injuring hundreds of thousands and displacing millions of Ukrainians.
Another short video. Note that it's just some scenes from some bombings in some regions in Ukraine, all taken this week. This week alone, Russia sent over 700 bombs, 170 drones, and 80 missiles against my country, including my city, killing many people. And this happens every. Single. Day. For two and a half years.
We are surviving against all odds. For now.
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Treat you better ✶ Matt Sturniolo ✶ pt. 1
a/n: first fic I write for this fandom! Feedback is greatly appreciated :) Hope you like it! This will have two parts, the second one will contain smut xx
pairing: fem reader x Matt Sturniolo
warnings: angst and fluff, swearing, reader has a panic attack and is very insecure. SMUT in the next part!!
requested: no
summary: After reader's boyfriend breaks up with her, she starts feeling unworthy of anyone's love. Luckily, her friend Matt is ready to prove her otherwise.
P.S. english is not my first language.
Even though I’m trying not to think about it, everything seems so hard right now. I feel drained and tired: every cell of my body is screaming at me to run away and hide from everyone. I don’t want to be here, at this party, full of people I don’t know who are not aware of my feelings at this very moment.
My boyfriend, or now ex-boyfriend, just dumped me. Right on the spot. Without an apparent motivation or a justification. He made me get ready to accompany him at this stupid party I didn’t want to attend in the first place just to break up with me once there.
I don’t know what to do or what to think. Do I just go around this house pretending nothing happened? No one I know is here yet, and there’s a high chance I’ll see that asshole somewhere, probably too occupied to flirt with some random girl, now that he is a free man.
I read once that heartbreak can actually cause physical pain but never believed it. I have to reevaluate that, because the pain I feel on my chest right now must be real.
I walk through the kitchen and the many bodies crowded there, hoping to reach the back door to get out and find some fresh air. The house feels so constricted, my lungs don’t have enough oxygen to keep functioning normally. Once I realize what I feel coming is a panic attack it’s too late. I should have known the symptoms, since they’ve been so frequent for me the last few months. Between the start of my first Uni year and the numerous fights I had with Hayden, I often found myself with a hand to my chest and my eyes closed, trying to regain my breath and clear my head. The stress and the pressure I felt lately decided to burst through during the most inappropriate times, one of them being right this instant, in a place where I don’t feel safe.
I am so vulnerable and weak, my head is pounding and I let my eyes close for a few seconds, trying to adjust my breathing. What will I do now? How can I get over this? Tears are streaming down my face, ruining, I’m sure, the make-up I applied a few hours ago.
Suddenly, there’s a warm feeling on my shoulder. A hand, big and smooth, is gripping me tightly, and a voice I think I know from somewhere is calling my name, bringing me back from the dark place I was before.
I open my eyes, finding in front of me a pair of blue eyes with a worried expression, staring right back at me.
“What is it? What happened?”
I want to tell him, I really do, but words feel like a boulder in my stomach. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out, except for a feeble screech. I feel so ashamed and yet safe, now that Matt is here with me. I am not alone anymore, I know he will help me. He’s the only one who knows what I am going through right now. Matt is always there when I need him, somehow.
His expression changes, like he suddenly has a realization. He understands what’s wrong with me, even without me saying anything to him.
“Alright, this is what we’ll do. You follow me and we sit down on that bench over there. I will hold your hand, if you want. Think you can do that for me?”
That is exactly what I need. The reassurance, someone who tells me I can rely on them. So I grab his hand, the one that wasn’t on my shoulder, and my silent answer is enough for him, cause he turns around and starts moving towards the white bench, his hold on me strong and firm. We sit next to each other, his jeans cladded thigh brushing against mine, our hands still connected.
My breathing slows down, but it’s still a bit difficult for me to talk. Matt speaks again.
“Listen to my breathing and try to match it. You’re okay. We’re sitting on a bench in a backyard, there’s no one else, just you and me. You can feel safe with me, you know that.”
Of course I know that. It’s one of the few facts I am fully certain of. In all the years I’ve known Matthew Sturniolo, he has never let me down once. He was my favorite playmate at kindergarten; the little boy I went crying to when someone made fun of me in elementary school; the one who copied my math homework through middle school and high school; the boy who knew all about my insecurities and my secrets no one else was aware of.
I finally stop crying and my breathing goes back to normal after a few minutes, thanks to Matt’s presence and its power to ground me.
“Will you tell me what happened now?” His face is worried, there’s sadness in his eyes and it irks me to know I am the cause of his apprehension.
So I tell him: I recount the last few months of my life, the ones where he wasn’t present exclusively for the fact that Hayden wanted me to stay away from him. I tell him about the anxiety I’ve been feeling, the fear of not meeting everyone’s expectations over me. I tell him about what happened tonight, how the pain I felt was so unbearable I needed to get away. And he listens, silently, at every word I speak.
“I am so sorry, Matt, for how I treated you” I whisper, looking at the ground. I am too embarrassed to face him, because he always had a weird feeling about my ex-boyfriend and I never really listened to him. Embarrassed also for the fact that I let him go so easily, just for some stupid tantrum of an insecure guy.
He chuckles, and his hold on my hand tightens.
“Don’t worry about it, I knew something like that could have happened, with an asshole like Hayden” I laugh at that, releasing a bit of the tension I accumulated tonight.
“Are you here with your brothers? I haven’t seen them in so long, I miss them” I ask him, feeling ashamed once again and also needy of their company. Chris and Nick were a big part of my childhood as well. My bond with them is not as strong as the one I share with Matt, but the affection I feel for them it’s immense.
“I left them at the entrance. They’re not very happy with me right now, since I forced them to come to this party. But I knew you were there and had to see you.” Matt smiles and gets up, urging me to do the same. I blink at his last words, but he doesn’t let me elaborate them cause he’s practically dragging me back to the house, his face now covered from my view, but I can notice a slight blush forming on his cheeks.
Turns out, Chris and Nick weren't mad at me either. Well, Nick tried to act tough at the beginning, but seeing my state and the murderous look Matt gave him, he stopped pretty quickly and gave me a warm hug, almost causing me to cry again. I just missed these guys so much, I can’t believe I went without them for three whole months.
We stay at the party for a bit longer, Chris trying his best to make me laugh and generally succeeding, even though some of his best jokes consist of burping in front of his brothers’ faces, causing punches and swears to fly around.
Matt drives me home. The journey is quiet except for the music playing from the car stereo. He stops in front of his house first to let his brothers go home, and I frown at him.
“I don’t want to hear them complaining because they’re tired or some shit” he explains to me, and I still look at him with a raised brow, so he just sighs. “Fine, I want to be with you for a while longer without them. Is it so hard to believe?” It is actually hard to believe for me right now. Not because of Matt, though.
The sadness I felt earlier tonight has dissipated, but it’s not completely gone. My head is making a thousand thoughts and my insecurities have taken hold of me. I feel so unworthy of Matt’s care for me, when I did nothing for the past months but hurt him.
He starts the engine and we’re on the road again. My eyes trail outside the window seat, mesmerized by the city lights.
“You can tell me how you’re feeling, you know” Matt’s voice breaks my reverie, and I sigh.
“I just…” I start, eyes still not looking at him.“I don’t understand what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do! For fuck’s sake, I stopped seeing you because he felt jealous. I guess I’m just trying to get some kind of closure, you know?” I’m rambling right now, but I don’t care. Matt never judged me before, and I need this, I need to tell someone what’s going on in my head, otherwise it will be a never ending circle of self pity.
He hums, listening intently to my words. I vomit all the insecurities that crept up upon me that evening, and without even realizing we arrive at my place.
Matt turns off the car, he unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the vehicle. Confused, I follow his lead, coming out of the car almost the exact time he reaches me. I look up at him, expecting some kind of encouraging words towards me or even a little lecture.
Instead, all I see is such adoration and love in his eyes that I almost have to look away, but before I do that, his arms encircle my shoulders and he pulls me against him, his warm chest a welcome caress against my cheek. I freeze, so unaccustomed to the sudden physical affection. But my body knows this feeling quite well, and it acts on its own. I hug him back, my arms encircling his waist and my head resting against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.
His voice, muffled against my hair, trembles with a frantic plea. "Never again," he whispers. "Promise me, don't vanish like that. And don't believe that nonsense. You're not unworthy of love. You just happen to have chosen the wrong person to take it from." I can't muster the strength to argue with him; I simply shake my head, too weary to contradict his words.
Matt moves his head away from my shoulder, his arms still around me.
“I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you. Maybe you’d understand, then” I frown at him.
“How do you see me?” I’m not sure where the courage to ask that question comes from, but I have a feeling in my stomach that his answer might change everything for me. For us.
He smiles at me, his teeth showing. “Now it’s not the time or place to tell you. If you still want to know, ask me in a month or something” he steps back and goes to the driver seat, getting in the car without looking at me, while my head spins. What is that supposed to mean? My curiosity is killing me, I want to know what he means so badly, but I know him: if he’s made his mind up, he won’t tell me until he feels like the right time has come.
I shake my head, the shadow of a smile on my face, and I turn, going towards my house. I hear the car’s engine starting again, and it’s only after I close the door behind me that Matt departs.
Fine then, I’ll wait for him to tell me. Something to look forward to, maybe.
Part 2 will be published soon!
#matt x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nicolassturniolo#chris sturniolo#reader x matt sturniolo
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You asked about first Shourtney shipping moments. This is gonna be a long answer but hopefully it's an interesting read.
I started my Smosh journey with Games videos from 2022-2023 and immediately sensed that Shayne and Courtney have an interesting bond. Initially, I thought that Shayne was secretly crushing on Courtney (but tried to keep things professional) whereas Courtney was acting flirty with everyone. I also noted that they would be cute together but didn't think too much of it.
It was actually the comment sections that made me more interested in their dynamic since fans had so many different views of them. Many commented on their "sibling energy" or admired their friendship but some were convinced that they were not in good terms anymore. And obv there were a lot of shipping comments as well but those were often ridiculed or viewed negatively. As a new fan, I felt confused 'cause I've never encountered so many contradicting descriptions of an onscreen duo. I also found it weird how some fans were trying to deny any romantic tension between them when it seemed pretty clear to me that they were not acting 100 % platonic with each other.
So I'd say that I became interested in their dynamic almost right away but it was Shayne Interviews His Exes (nro 1) where I became much more sceptical that they would be just friends. Shayne seemed weirdly shy when Courtney walked in, and Courtney had a very loving gaze when they played the "shouting" audio and Shayne was cry laughing. It just didn't seem like normal friend behavior to me.
Also, Courtney basically buried Shayne's head in her boobs which like... idk. At that point it seemed like something other Smosh members wouldn't do to each other. (My views have changed a bit once I started to know Amanda and Chance better...)
A long-winded answer but I don't know how to explain this more shortly! It was more of a process than an immediate thought to me.
Don’t worry about sending long asks in, I enjoy reading all of them and this one especially. Aside from 2019, I think 2022-23 had some of the most interesting yet very telling shourtney moments imo. Shippers have gotten a lot of flak/criticism in the past and some even now, there were so many people who really believed we ruined Courtney and Shayne’s friendship. Meanwhile, they were dating/engaged most of the time that was being said. I’ve also seen a bit of people say that since Courtney was considering leaving smosh at one point, her and Shayne started letting loose more in videos and presumably when she finally decided to stay, they cut back a bit. I guess they thought that bc if Courtney actually left, they wouldn’t have to deal with the pressures of being public while still being in videos together.
You also said that you started noticing a shift in the Shayne’s exes, don’t forget Keith switched his wig around and mentioned that Shayne liked blondes better. When I first watched that video, my mind couldn’t not think of Courtney, especially because her character was in the next clip I think. I feel like you’re the first person I’ve seen actually say that was the video that made you a shipper. I don’t think I have seen anyone say/write that before.
But yeah, all the people that said Shayne and Courtney have sibling energy, I wonder where they are now. This may be a controversial take but a part of me feels like calling two friends sibling like is a little weirder than shipping. Of course it depends on the duo and what they’re comfortable w/ but I think Courtney has said she feels weirded out by that and not shipping (as long as it’s boundary respecting).
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SO APPARENTLY I NEVER POSTED SEASON 3 DETAILS FOR THE LMK MORRO AU.
I feel like an idiot ugh
Anyways. Uh.
Take that, because I know if I don’t attach art to this post it will fade into obscurity.
Details about season 3 under the cut!! So, so much lore, it’s a very long post honestly.
• Okay so starting off Season 3 with Macaque attacking the ship
• Morro can tell from the moment Mac shows up initially that there’s something screwy going on, not on any spiritual level but more in a way of “What kind of motive would Macaque have for working for the Bone Demon?? Why would he????”
• So we have Morro making a lot of biting remarks every time someone tries insulting Macaque for being on LBD’s side
-Wukong, to Macaque: “You always had a sidekick kinda vibe.”
Morro: “And you always had a shut-the-fuck-up kinda vibe but hey, look at you!” (Credit to @breathlessmonkie for the joke)
• He just knows there’s gotta be something else going on. Or at least he’s hoping so.
• I mean Macaque definitely has some residual LBD vibes on him since she’s got her claws in him, and Morro can sense that, he just can’t pin it down specifically yet
• He wants to help his monke dad but he can’t and that frustrates him immensely
• And during Macaque’s actual attack on the ship/them trying to escape LBD initially, Morro’s broom ends up getting smashed. And I mean that quite literally it is reduced to splinters
-Rest in peace, Morro’s broom. It’s honestly surprising you made it this far with how much Morro refused to use you for your intended purpose
• Ohohoho Morro and LBD’s dynamic is so much fun btw
• LBD’s whole thing is about fulfilling the path of destiny, and meanwhile Morro’s schtick was all about defying his!
-They clash really well!! I adore the parallels
• Oh, and Morro can instantly recognize possession like that upon seeing her
-He was a ghost for fucking 40-ish years (I don’t know the exact timeline), it’s a sensation that sticks with you—being able to tell that sorta thing, I mean. He was literally a cursed spirit for longer than he was actually alive, for fuck’s sake.
-Morro is super twitchy when it comes to possession just in general. Like, he’s an expert on it and knows a ton of information about it (obviously)
-And he knows immediately that this isn’t a possession that can be broken via willpower, that’s a fucking child who is frightened and definitely not strong enough to resist this demon.
• Morro hates LBD a lot honestly, they don’t like anything about her
-She’s so dedicated to destiny and she’s possessing people
-They loathe how she seems so sure of herself, and how she uses “It is destiny and nothing you do will change this” as a justification for everything she’s doing. They think that destiny is a load of bullshit and people can do what they want, not just because someone said they should.
• While on the topic of LBD and ghosts in general I’m gonna take this time to go over my concept/thoughts on how Morro’s newly resurrected body works. I even made up a super weird and unhelpful diagram where I try miserably to explain my thought process.
-Physically, it’s difficult for an ex-ghost to get possessed because their spirit used to be departed. Like…it’s super hard to explain, but the body and spirit work? A bit oddly?
-That new body in theory was created from nothing in a way? It’s from the spirit themselves, it’s got weird physical attributes going on. I mean, Morro’s actual body is rotting away in a cave
-So he had to conjure up a whole new body when he got brought back
-It’s just like. The connection between body and soul acts differently than it would for a regular person. His body is an extension of his spirit?? They’re not really separate.
-For a normal person you’ve got a clear divide between soul and body, it’s like a shell, you know? Whereas Morro’s body is more of uhhhhh. A second skin. It’s rooted into him and attached. The soul is the body, and vice versa.
-His soul has turned into a physical form, so there’s no separation there! That’s just. It’s all Morro! It is so hard to explain and so frustrating that I can’t word this right and I’m repeating myself
-I can say that Cole is a special and different case
-There’s two ways that Cole’s whole deal could operate; one of which involves a fun notion that when Cole failed to escape the temple he actually ended up leaving his body behind, thus that’s what it meant by “becoming a ghost”. His body sorta smacked into the doors and his soul kept on walking, so. That’s a fun idea. If that’s the route we go with, then his resurrection would work just the same as Morro’s, but if it isn’t then he gets some completely different funky dynamics
-It’s overall frustrating sometimes to have to think about because both cases are so unique and isolated that I can’t really draw from any other examples since there are none. I just end up having to make up my own lore along the way
-TLDR: Morro is a ghost with skin
• On that note if anyone wants to contribute any ideas I would love to hear them, there are so many things in this au that are rough concepts at best and could really use polishing up
• Anyways…back on my other bullshit, it’s hard to possess something that isn’t really. A body/empty husk.
-It’s just Morro, all one thing packaged together
-Yeah LBD can taunt him and get inside his head (mentally), but not actually possess him
-She tries and just bounces off of him like a rubber ball because it’s literally just colliding with another spirit except he’s solid
-Plus there’s mental complications too. Someone who used to be a ghost (for a long time at least! You’ve gotta have experience with possession, you know?) would know all the tricks that someone does when possessing, so they’re psychically fortified, they just. They know how to lock out a secondary conscience with relative ease.
-When possessing someone, you have to keep that person’s will/conscious under wraps and separate it from your own! It works the same way as that.
-Just imagine Morro as being a physical ghost in a way idk I’m trying my best to explain
• Morro can touch things both on the spiritual plane and the physical plane
-He doesn’t have ghost powers tho, this is all just side effects from the Rift
-But Morro can interact with stuff in the mortal plane as well as any spiritual stuff, which is something others can’t do.
-He can’t separate LBD from her host or anything like that, possession isn’t really like. That’s an entirely different thing from grabbing something that’s on the spiritual realm like an object, and it’s not something I’ll go into detail about since it’s not relevant
• LBD’s powers also slip off of Morro a lot
-They can’t really. Latch onto him? It’s very touch-and-go.
-She can’t do any kind of long-distance contact with Morro either
-You know how she can get in MK’s head sometimes from a distance? Whatever that pang of blue outline is. She can’t do that on Morro
• The Mayor also struggles against Morro somewhat. It depends on how exactly he’s attacking. Physical attacks work normally, like nothing is really changed about that, but any sort of magic/spiritual stuff could be a tad wonky? I’m not sure
• Morro can also see stuff on the spiritual/astral(?) plane in addition to his being able to make contact with stuff! Think MK’s gold vision, except only for spiritual stuff
-So when Wukong is communicating via astral projection to MK, Morro is able to see that. His immediate reaction is “Oh hey Monkey King finally killed the bucket lmao” (he says, jokingly)
• Also Morro grabbing LBD’s chain things without consequences is something they can absolutely do
-Of course all this is to say that this stuff doesn’t make Morro immune to all spiritual attacks; if anything, at times they impact him even more. But it depends on what it is.
• Ohohoho plot time now
• Morro is freaking the fuck out when the ship crashes into the ocean. His powers just start going haywire underwater because of how bad he’s panicking.
-They have an actual panic attack, and are having flashbacks to their death via the Preeminent and how much they feared water as a ghost
-It’s a very rough time for everybody
• He’s tryna make an air bubble for people but keeps failing because Panic Attacc
-He’s upset and generally out of it overall; not entirely lucid
• Morro 🤝 Wukong: Being useless underwater
• So they get to the dragon palace, right? First things first, the moment they’re out of the wreaked vehicle, Morro sorta just stumbles to the ground and is having trouble breathing right.
-Morro is able to calm down from his panic with some help, but there’s not exactly time to recuperate properly when the plot starts moving along again
• So they meet with Ao Guang, and because of the green streak in his hair and the power of plot convenience and his having powers, Ao Guang is like “oh another dragon kid? I don’t remember you but okay. Bring him in too.” Plus the dragon pendant Morro is wearing adds to that as well.
-Not to mention Morro is still so frazzled that Ao Guang would feel bad throwing him in the dungeon anyways. He looks like a really sad wet cat and I love him for it
• Morro’s clothes got all torn up and wet during the chaos, so Mei insists that he get a change of clothes too. Cue the fashion montage!!
-And Morro dyes his hair purple as a kinda nod to Macaque. He’s also got his own color scheme now!! Trying to find his own identity and life and such. He’s got the ribbons to represent his friendship with MK and Mei! And bc they’re very pretty and I wanted something to flap around in the wind for dramatic effect.
-Morro actually lends MK his dragon pendant thing to be a part of MK’s new outfit! It doesn’t do anything, it’s purely sentimental/ornamental.
-MK literally asks, “What’s it do? Is it magic? Does it turn into some cool secret weapon??”
And Morro just goes “No? It’s just a pendant?”
-MK has the idea in his head by this point that Morro must have been some sort of ghost hunter since he’s able to punch ghosts in the face and knows a lot about them
• AIWUWHWJWJ picturing MK dying a streak of green in his hair to match Mei and Morro one day since literally two of his friends have that
-That’s unrelated, it’s just funny to think about
• Oh, and since Morro’s broom got broken, he steals a guandao from one of the guards as they’re breaking out
-The guandao stays with Morro for the rest of the season! And even after that, though a brand new broom is his typical weapon of choice, he’ll bring out the guandao (he keeps it in MK’s room lol) when he knows he’s going into a fight
-Morro, dual-wielding a broom and a guandao: “Don’t fuck with me! I have the power of the FSM and found family on my side!”
• Also also also!!! When they crash into the ocean and everything, Morro’s makeup that he’s been using to cover up his cursed markings gets washed off. Yes, he uses a lot of concealer, but so much happened that it couldn’t really withstand all of that
-He can’t reapply it because he doesn’t have any spare concealer on him, and the purpose is defeated seeing as everyone’s noticed the markings now
• When Morro had first arrived, they immediately went and stole concealer once they passed by a store. They spotted their reflection in a shop window and went “Shit I gotta hide these” since they’re a red flag in Ninjago
-And then he ended up getting stabbed by me after that lol
• Now they don’t know what the marks mean (Tang has a few suspicions tho), all they can see is that they’re etched into his skin. MK compares them to Macaque’s or Wukong’s face markings
-But Morro steadfastly refuses to elaborate on what his markings mean specifically, or how they originated
-He’s extremely vague and dodgy about the subject and will even go so far as to brush them off as a “birth defect”
-Then Amnesia Wukong comes along :)
-Yeah that’s actually part of a lovely big reveal for Morro’s new uncle figures Tang and Pigsy hehe
• Oh and when Wukong is meditating btw Morro absolutely draws on his face and messes with him. Takes pictures with his phone to send to Macaque later.
• I’m just gonna jump right into the amnesiac Wukong stuff because it’s a lot of fun
• I wanna start off with saying that Macaque’s plan when he separated the group was to specifically have Morro around with Wukong, that was intentional on his part. He didn’t want to have to deal (presently) with facing Morro.
-Like he’ll fight MK, sure, but he knows if Morro was with MK then they’d end up protecting the kid at all costs, whereas Macaque is aware that Morro doesn’t care very much for Wukong.
-Thus the way Macaque was thinking, he’d be able to subdue MK (without Morro knowing), and then go over to pick up Wukong without too big a fight
• Anyways back to Wukong revealing some sensitive information that Morro really wishes he hadn’t
-Like…Wukong says it so casually, too, as if it’s a glaringly obvious fact and not something Morro’s kept buried from everyone
-At least normal Wukong has the decency not to, you know. Mention the fact that his gold vision and centuries worth of experience let him know that Morro’s been cursed/dead at some point.
-But amnesiac Wukong? No tact whatsoever. “You! Spirit! Why are you hovering over there next to my master?!”
-This SWK only calls Morro variations of spirit, phantom, ghost, wraith, etc.
-Morro is wondering if Wukong has a fucking thesaurus or something on him with how many synonyms he’s spouting
-On that note allow me to list some because data collection is fun
-Apparition, shade, specter, banshee, poltergeist, phantasm, shadow, spook…those are the most relevant ones I could find. Although Wukong’s favorite/most used is gonna be spirit or phantom.
• That aside, Morro is mortified when he gets addressed in that manner
• This reveal happens before Tang gets snatched by the Scorpion Queen, so he hears SWK call Morro that along with Pigsy
-So that was fun for Tang to ruminate on while he was kidnapped lol
• Like, Wukong glances around and sees Morro and after some back and forth, proclaims “Well they’re clearly an evil spirit! Though they may hide in that mortal form, they can’t conceal the distinctive markings on their face! Those show who they really are: a being that was cursed upon death!”
-Cut to Morro’s expression getting increasingly alarmed while Wukong’s saying all of this, eventually tackling the monkey to the ground in an impulsive effort to silence him
-“Shut up shut up shut up! You don’t get to say those things, you don’t get to talk about any of that as if you—as if you understand! You have no right—!”
-Morro is frenzied and panicked, horrified that SWK may have just scared away the few people who he’d actually grown quite fond of! The last thing he wants to see (though he wouldn’t admit it aloud) is them looking at him in fear and revulsion.
• Pigsy definitely questions Morro on what Wukong meant while they’re looking for Tang, although that’s after needing to convince Morro not to immediately bolt when Wukong had finished talking. Morro was ready to fucking sprint off and start life anew as the local woodland cryptid; that’s how freaked out they had gotten. So Pigsy has to calm them down enough to at least get them to like, stay stationary.
• Once Morro’s settled enough (and even then, he’s got a very flighty look to him) Pigsy starts questioning him
-Morro is. Extraordinarily hesitant to disclose anything—he always is—but he seems especially cagey about this topic in particular, which is saying something.
-Morro, thinking to himself: “Oh my FSM I’m turning into Wu with the amount of information I’m keeping to myself.”
-He absolutely, positively, refuses to reveal anything about himself dying. He cannot and will not voluntarily mention that. Reluctantly and after a lot of prodding, he explains to Pigsy that yes, he was cursed at one point, but that’s as much as he’ll let on.
-It’s so frustrating for anyone to try and get backstory details from Morro lmao
-“I did something awful/something I wasn’t supposed to do, and it pissed someone off, I guess. It got me cursed, and it’s nothing that I want to talk about. Please.” Or he even mentions that he “defied destiny” and was cursed for it.
• The big reveal that Morro had died previously comes during the confrontation with LBD and Wukong
-She is definitely the one who reveals it seeing as there’s no feasible way that Morro is willingly divulging that information
-She straight up mocks him about it I’d wager
-“You, who have so foolishly defied destiny time and time again, and even defied the very cycle of natural life. O’ Morro, former champion of the Cursed Realm, general to the Preeminent—how low you have fallen in your futile reach towards a life of repentance.” LBD probably knows shit, dialogue ain’t set in stone, I’m really just trying to set the mood for these events
• If anything, I’d only imagine she knows about the ghost stuff for whatever reason. I don’t know. I’m making my own canon. She can tell he’s died before? She can tell he was cursed, specifically that he was, you know. Powerful/chosen/appointed some high rank. She doesn’t really know his life story.
-She just knows about his ghost status and that he’s died at least twice—she knows some vague details, and that’s only because of plot reasons and also because like. It’s like.
-Yeah she knows he tried to curse a whole realm/all the realms, she’s an ancient demon and has access to certain knowledge
-She wanted to find out who exactly Morro was that she couldn’t take hold of him. So she did some research spirit-wise and found out the basic information of Morro’s rank and role, and that he’s died at least twice, and that he just. Cursed spirit, you know?
-Reading Journey to the West I discovered that apparently you can just up and go to some records or whatever and find some convenient info out
-Literally Wukong did a whole quest to go find out more about LBD in the show
• So Morro is just. The most mortified and distraught and furious at her for the sheer audacity she’s shown to have outed him like that
-MK might even say, “You lied to us?” To which Morro immediately snaps that that’s bs, he did not lie about anything. He just wasn’t telling them every little detail about him.
-He left information out but he didn’t lie because they never specifically asked so yeah lmao
-Morro: “I told you I wasn’t the best person.”
MK: “Dude I thought you were just being like, angsty and edgy.” (Credit: @breathlessboy)
• Oh LBD totally calls him a hypocrite, too
-LBD: “You tried to curse all the realms across time and space, and yet you really think yourself better than I?”
• Morro lets his emotions get the better of him during this whole encounter, I mean he’s been bottling them up for awhile as is
-This is when Wukong went off to go battle LBD on his own
-Morro and MK and Nezha are closer to the whole fight this time, and Morro’s actually trying to lend a hand since he does have powers and all
-Since they’re up in the air a lot, Morro has an extreme advantage, and aids the wind to Wukong’s side while making it way less favorable for LBD
• Either way LBD does this reveal when they’re closer to the ground/on the ground (so MK hears it), and it winds Morro up a lot.
-He’s very emotional at the moment and thus, his powers aren’t the easiest to control? Yes, he’s controlling the wind, but the wind is reacting in tune to his rampaging emotions right now.
-So he can’t focus them completely on, you know. The whole fight. This ends up making things harder for LBD and for Wukong, as well as MK and Nezha who can’t get near him amid the whirlwind he’s practically shielded himself with.
-He’s genuinely upset, he doesn’t want to hear about this after he’s already tried so hard to put it behind him. He had a chance he didn’t even ask for to start fresh with this clean slate, and it’s been ruined.
-Both Wukong and LBD are getting tossed around like rag dolls by the wind which is fun to watch tho lol
-Still, it means they just have to fight harder against the relentless gale
• Morro snapping that he’ll tear LBD apart and inadvertently frightening MK
-Because Morro is so goddamn scary and pissed off right now, his hair’s all a mess and has long since escaped from its bun, his eyes almost seem to glow in the darkness…it’s eerie, to say the least.
• Morro ends up going to attack LBD and unfortunately gets shot down because he’s so emotionally vulnerable she’s able to sneak attack him
-He’s off his game, he’s distracted
-She sorta knocks him out of the air and down into the mech/ground
-He gets up from the crater he’s created and he’s injured, but not badly enough to the point where he can’t stand.
-He is seething and then he spits out another, “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” which is met with a “Morro, stop!” from a terrified MK nearby
-Nezha is standing in front of MK almost protectively and MK looks extremely shaken up
-MK then having to remind Morro that LBD is possessing a child. They’re fighting a little kid right now.
-It settles Morro down a little bit, lessens some of that frenzied rage, but not by much
• “I’ll rip her out of that kid if I have to—possession can be undone, MK! Even if it takes me having to beat that wench out of her! She won’t possess a vessel that isn’t usable!”
-Which Morro regrets saying immediately upon hearing himself aloud
-He is just. Horror-struck, realizing he sounds just like he used to and hating it immensely.
-“I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I didn’t…oh First Master, what am I doing? I was trying to be better than this, better than her, and I…”
-He gets so genuinely upset here because he’s trying so hard all this time to do better and be a good person, to make the most of his new life, yet the moment his past is brought up/he has to face that, he immediately snaps. He’s disappointed in himself and it has him fearing that maybe he can’t be redeemed. Maybe, no matter how hard he tries, he won’t be able to change and he’ll always be this—this bitter, awful person doomed to failure.
• Morro‘s very caught up in his breakdown right now and he’s experiencing a lot of not-fun feelings and doubts
-Morro’s gonna choke out something along the lines of “I’ll never be able to change, will I? This is just what I’m always going to be no matter how hard I try. I can’t fix this—I can’t fix what I am, and I don’t deserve to either.” And that in particular is gonna distract Wukong for a brief moment since he’s pinning LBD down on the mech rn, and thus, you know. Possession stuff.
-Morro feels guilty about that afterwards
• Morro also absolutely gets struck by a possessed Wukong at one point
-He’s so freaked out and in his own head that he just doesn’t see the attack coming
-He gets knocked back, MK runs after him, and Nezha holds Monkey King off
• Macaque saves them and Morro knows it’s him, he’s familiar with his magic, and he feels so much relief when those shadows teleport them to safety
• They get dropped in a jungle and into the mud, and MK is you know. Dialoguing to himself before saying to Morro, “Well…we should probably get going,” but Morro is just on his hands and knees in the mud, muttering quietly, “No, don’t go just yet, please stay” to seemingly nothing. MK assumes he’s speaking to him, goes over, and it snaps Morro out of his dazed trance.
-“I wasn’t—I wasn’t talking to you, MK. I…nevermind, just forget I said anything.”
-He was talking to Macaque (who wasn’t there and was already gone maybe? Idk)
-He felt Macaque’s magic and the teleportation and mourned when that went away. Morro just wants to talk with Macaque and vibe. He misses his monke dad.
• Morro’s also in a bit of a daze as he follows MK, he’s definitely aware but at the same time? Sorta disassociating.
• Although when he gets himself together after a few minutes, he’s reverted back to bitter remarks and insults. Unfortunate temporary character regression and hiding behind a wall as a defense mechanism, essentially. He’s withdrawn, he’s upset, and this is just how he copes.
• Oh I also wanna mention that when Macaque delivers the Mayor to the gang and makes his appearance, Morro can’t help himself from rushing forward and tackling him in a hug
-He’s just so relieved and it’s very surprising to the others in the room because 1. Morro doesn’t usually initiate that kind of physical contact and 2. DON’T HUG THE ENEMY
-“I missed you and also I screwed up bad and can I crash at your place when this is all done for a bit? I may need a spot to stay.”
• Dude thinks he’s gonna get kicked out of MK’s apartment for his behavior and also for the secrets that got revealed
• Macaque is taken aback by the sudden onslaught of info but then he sees how absolutely defeated Morro looks and deadass says aloud “Who hurt you??”
• They don't even need to tie Mac up, they just let Morro cling to him and it keeps the monkey in place (credit: @breathlessmonkie)
• Morro: “I never liked the Monkey King but I didn’t want him to get fucking possessed.”
• Oh yeah literally seeing them interact together? Everyone starts asking like “you two are really close? When did this happen??? How did we miss this?”
-Morro revealing “uhhh so I’ve actually been training with Macaque for a while now in secret haha”
• But legit like this is the moment that Macaque decides “This is my kid now.”
-He succumbs to the fate of being dad-caque
• Morro is also the one who voices concern about sending Macaque in to fight against Wukong
• Alsooooo Morro definitely fights by Macaque’s side the best he can for that encounter
-“Dude I know you’re insanely strong and all that but I can help. You shouldn’t have to face him alone.”
• Oh and Morro accusing Red Son of stealing his look lmao
-“Hey fuck you, the sleeveless black top is MY thing”
• Yes I know there’s a lot of things I didn’t go over like the Samadhi Fire, Red Son’s and Morro’s dynamic (spoiler alert: they can and will refer to each other as cousins. Do with that information as you will), a deeper look on Morro’s actual relationships with each character, etc, etc.
• This post is just way too long as is so I’m gonna end it here and continue in a different one
• Oh and one final teaser for y’all: there is absolutely eventually gonna be a confrontation/crossover that happens where the ninja show up and hehe
• I’m plotting and scheming and cackling with delight
#ninjago#art#lego ninjago#my art#nsg#nsg au#noodle shop ghost au#noodle shop ghost#Morro#ninjago morro#lmk#lmk au#lego monkey kid#monkie kid#long post
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#LYN _ I Was Married Once, But Have No Children
“I saw some things that I felt like I needed to come and respond to. Rather than a response, it’s more of an explanation. I see that some of you are asking me if I’m okay. I’m fine- there is no “okay” or “not okay”. I’m an adult. I was working, and my staff told me about this, so I thought it was time for me to come stream. It’s my style, right? Just stream about it, to make things clear.
This is my first time talking about this- though I know there was a similar topic previously- but this is my first time talking about this and it will be the last time as well. It’s about... (my) marriage.
Can you hear me clearly? If the stream lags then I would have said all this for nothing. You can? Alright. I’m streaming from my phone today, because I’m on set. I’m working. It’s like this... I thank everyone for their interest in me- though some of you may not be interested at all, and are just here to partake in the commotion. Some of you may be here for the gossip. The ones who are concerned must be my fans, most of all, since you’ve been with me all this time. You’re concerned for me and you’re willing to believe me, or whatever I need. Today I am here to give a clear explanation to the larger public and the fans who are concerned for me. This is the first and last time I’ll talk about this.
First of all, I- Liu Yuning- have previously been married. Of course, I am now divorced. There are no children. I am not in contact with my ex, either. Today, because of me, it has caused her and her child to be exposed to the public. I am very sorry. I’m sorry. Very, very sorry. Because of me. I am the public figure and you can comment and pry about anything concerning me, but to her, I must say, “I am sorry.” I’ve disrupted her life.
Secondly, I think, that no matter how much people can’t stand to see me or curse me, if you have the ability you can just keep doing as you have been. You can dislike me. You can look down on me. All you need to do is come at me. Why would you find the need to hurt just a normal, common person? Someone who is just trying to live her life? I just don’t understand.
Now, people are talking about the legality- about whether you should keep following this topic or not. But I just want to say that you’ve hurt a normal person and her child, who is a minor. I think that whether morally or legally, that’s crossing the line. You can do/say anything you want to me, but I don’t think you should have put a normal person and her child’s picture online. That’s- just inhuman, in my opinion. That's just what I think.
The logic is very clear. I’ve seen what this ridiculous person had posted- a strange and disconcerting post on weibo on the day I attended an event, and I saw my fans replying to it. The path was clear. First, they made a post, saying, “This internet-famous individual made it to where he is today by this and that...” The thing is, they were waiting for my fans to fight back. When my fans fought back, then they could flip it, saying, “Okay, then. Don’t blame me for this.” After that they could righteously reveal material against me. Their excuse is, “Don’t blame me. The fans came after me first, so that’s why I posted what I did.” They've played this type of trick on me. I think.. there was no need.
You can hate me all you want, and you could have played any tricks you wanted, it didn’t matter what you did to me. You just shouldn’t have hurt a common person and her family. She has her own life now, and her own child. Just because I am a public figure, does not mean that I should be the cause of disturbance in her life. You may have blurred her face, but the people who know her all know who she is. The people around her must have recognized her. The people around her must also have recognized her child. It’s a very inhuman thing to do. She has her own life and she’s doing very well.
This- this happened in 2013, and I debuted in 2018. I just want to say- I’ve never thought of hiding this information. I know that in this industry any information on any artist cannot be hidden. People even know my flight carrier and seat number when I take a plane. Is my personal information something hidden and mysterious? It’s not. I’ve never once thought of hiding this, but I also never felt I had the need to take this information and lay it all out in the open. I didn’t see the need to tell my fans, “I’ve been married, but I’m divorced now. We never had a kid, though.” I didn’t think there was a need to tell any of you that because I knew that if I did, it would bring her trouble. There was no need to do that. This is her own life, and she has her own future. Everything I have received from being an artist- the income, the glory- everything I’ve received has nothing to do with her. Why should she have to endure this from you? Why does she have to endure all the trouble that I’ve brought to her? That’s why I feel so sorry. I think that you can do whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others. That’s my bottom line.
I think... there wasn’t any need to do this. Of course, my fans are saying they’ll do this or that.. I think that’s fine. I will not... I just want to say that my attitude is very determined. I think I will definitely take legal action. It’s not for myself. It’s just what I should do. It’s something that I need to do. I want to return justice to her. It’s something that I have to do. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll do it. No matter how complicated, I’ll do it. This is the first and last time I’ll talk about this topic. I’ve already made myself very clear. Still, I have to say, I’ve caused chaos in your daily life and I’m terribly sorry. I’m the most sorry to the person who once shared a marriage with me. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I’ve disrupted your life. I apologize.
Alright. That’s it, because I am still working. I’ve said what I needed to say and I hope that everyone can prevent this from circulating again. Please don’t go around hurting innocent people or try to look into who this person is or find out anything about their life. Don’t disturb other people. That’s my request to all of you. Thank you. She has her own life, her own peaceful and happy marriage, and their own happy child. Let’s not disturb them any longer. I don’t want to bring her any more hurt, just because I am a public figure. Thank you, everyone.”
- Liu Yuning, 2023.03.27
#Liu Yuning#(11:07)#fffffuck people man#he mentioned this in an ancient stream#back on the streets of Dandong- no one gave a crap then#haters just stirring shit for nothing#rude#tldr: lyn. the man who can announce he's divorced and not only NOT lose fans but gain them instead#also has me thinking about his duet of 街角的祝福
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Question for the Court part 2
Genuinely I really need to know if this is normal behaviour because I’ve never experienced someone like this and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. Here are his behaviours:
He texts me on average 30 times a day. He always initiates the conversation (I never do).
He sends me morning and good night messages (this is something that even my ex and I didn’t even do). His messages often say things like ‘Good night. Have beautiful dreams of yours greatest desires.’
He’s been telling my sister (who he’s friends with) how excited he is to play a certain board game with me. Even though I have never said I will play a game with him. Then he told me last night how he had found 2-3 people so we can play a different game together. I haven’t said I wanted to play this game with him. I do not know these other people at all. So why is he asking people that are strangers to me to play a game with ‘us’ when I haven’t even asked him to?
He is overly complimentary to the point of it being just weird. So for example I wrote a review of a play. He responded with 3 whole paragraphs essentially reviewing my review but only with positive feedback. Like “I smiled to myself when imagining you watch the play” etc. like obviously I don’t mind someone saying ‘oh wow that’s a good review’. But three paragraphs reviewing my review is very ????
He had come up with a nickname for me that I do not like but he won’t stop calling me it even though I have never positively responded to.
He’ll often send me paragraphs expanding on something he’s clearly interested in. Then I’ll say ‘ah that’s cool but that’s not really my thing’ and his response will always be ‘yeah I hate that thing too’.
Now this is the thing that kinda weirds me out the most. So I have very particular interests. As soon as I mention I like a thing quite a bit he suddenly becomes obsessed with them too. So 3 examples.
I love musicals. I talked to him about musicals at one point. He went from only having watched Les Mis to asking me to send him a musical to listen to every single day. Then he spent an entire weekend watching musicals, sending me images of the musicals he was watching to kind of prove that he was watching them.
I told him I like the Frogwares Sherlock Holmes games. He suddenly went out and bought them all, and play the Awakened in one sitting. Then he went out and spent near to £100 on Sherlock Holmes games and novels, even though he clearly has never had any interest in Sherlock Holmes past bbc Sherlock. (I mean if he did wouldn’t these be purchases he made before?).
I talked to him about starkid two days ago because he asked me what it was. He has now donated £50 to their new kickstarter even though he has yet to watch a single show. He sent me the receipt to prove it.
Now the thing is I know he does often display some of these behaviours towards other people. My sister said how one time her and two other people were discussing rollerskating then this guy went out to buy rollerskates even though none of them had actually planned to go rollerskating yet (and they never ended up planning a trip). And while I think thats sort of similar behaviour to my last point I think the difference is that this was a thing he did because he clearly wanted to go out with this group of people. Where as with the last point with me there is no end goal of going out - like clearly buying a tone of Sherlock Holmes novels doesn’t lead to a Sherlock Holmes outing in the same sense. Instead I think it’s sort of clear he is intensely getting into the things I like to impress me, but in a way that no person would unless they have become obsessed with said person.
And I also know that he actually sort of became obsessed with this other person I knew to the point where he would hang around at her desk everyday, until someone else had to speak to him about leaving her alone. When I mentioned that I think he’s doing the same to me, my sister implied that the circumstances were entirely different ( I think they might have gone out on a date or two and decided to just be friends - but the guy was still obsessed with her). But still I think it might be a similar situation.
It’s just I feel like I’m going crazy because everyone I tell who knows this guy keeps underplaying like ‘ah that’s just what he does’ but I definitely think this is more intense than what he normally does.
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Behind the lies Duskwood Chapter 4 final
Chapter 3 ----------------------------------------------------------------
Two years. Two wonderful years of happiness. MC had met a fantastic man after that night. She finally had that date, she didn't cancel it. She refused to do it, not giving in to the feelings she felt for Jake. Two years loving a man who gave her happiness. What brought her laughter, comfort and security.
Two years, loving.
Two years of kisses.
Two years of relationship.
All so that the very jerk hooks up with her roommate. Or even worse, her roommate and her boyfriend. A threesome. All because she never wanted to! She began to throw all the shoes at them, seeing the three of them in her roommate's bed. When she arrived, she had heard him. Between laughs "Dear! Come on! Let's talk!” Said her boyfriend, or better yet, her ex-boyfriend. “Asshole, son of a bitch!” MC yelled, while she hit her roommate in the face because her ex used her as a shield. "MC- Oh!" Her roommate raised her hand to her face "Girl! I'm sorry! It was an accident!" "An accident that I'm going to cause if you don't all leave MY HOUSE!" "Look, we understand" the boyfriend of her roommate began, raising his hand to prevent her from hitting him with something else "we should have invited you, you feel bad about that." MC approached them with a smile. But instead of accepting that invitation, she reached for the night light, ripping it out of the plug. “Everybody get out or else I'll hit your head with this!” She yelled at them as he followed them around the room. The three of them started running to the exit, yelling that she was crazy.
When they left. She didn't think twice. She went to her roommate's room and began to throw all of her things out the window. She was officially kicked off her apartment. "MC! Don't do this!” the girl begged from the street, putting on the clothes she had thrown away. “Baby, love!” Her ex began to beg, getting down on his knees “Let's talk! I didn't want to do it for real! You know how important you are to me!" "Well, for me you don't exist anymore!" She entered inside and grabbed the mattress, trying to throw it out the window. Unfortunately, she couldn't "Shit… Have to throw it down the stairs…" She said, pushing it around the house."
Little by little, she moved it until she reached the door of the apartment. Which in the end, she threw it down the stairwell. "Very well done, girl!" a neighbor yelled from above. Little by little the neighbors came out to applaud her. It almost looked like a movie scene. But… why not take advantage of the moment and greet the public? She curtsied, looking up and down. Well, she felt like taking revenge on her for what the two people she trusted the most had done.
When night fell, she was left alone. Completely silent. She no longer listened to the laughter of her partner or would listen to the day that her ex-boyfriend had spent. She is alone again.
She blew out a breath, changing the channel. It wasn't like she'd expected since she'd moved again to be even further away from Jake. She wasn't going to deny it, from time to time she wondered what would have happened if she had really accepted. Although looking at today's situation, it was clear how she would have ended up… which made the situation much better, she didn't want to be the one to get thrown out the window.
It was strange. She hadn't cried. She wasn’t in pain. Maybe she was angry, but... Despite the two years with that man, she wasn't shedding any tears for him. Was she alright? It was normal? It was a long relationship, she should be crying because he had cheated on her. Well, it wasn't as bad as it seemed. At least her ex never lied on her with his true identity.
It was as if whatever happened, everything went back to the past. To those moments when she met him. Oh how stupid she was. Too stupid to think about Jake again when he didn't deserve a thought. Yes, she had told him to make up his mind, but…did she really mean it at that moment? Did she really want to be with somebody like that? Immature? She thought Jake was a different guy, but… In the end she was disappointed. She didn't expect that the boy who said all those nice things to her would be someone so despicable. She no longer wished him anything bad. Just for him to forget about her and get on with his life. His family. He had a wonderful daughter and a woman much more beautiful than her. He had it all. Even an incredible apartment. She hoped that in these two years, his life would have returned to the normality of meeting her before.
After two weeks being the talk of the neighborhood, she decided to visit her parents. They were so concerned about her that they decided to have her come home for a weekend. And also, because her older sister was going to return after a theatrical tour. They wanted the family reunited. The worst thing was that she had to hear the "I already told" from her sister.
"I already told you" her sister told her, drinking from her Irish ", when you told me about his fantasy-" "You warned me, Becka, yes" MC sighed. It was like having a female Dan. Only she wasn't drinking whiskey… she was drinking a bottle of gin ". Well, it wasn't a fantasy, he just asked me in the ‘’hypothetical case of’’." "Yes, and in that hypothetical case, he put both them and him from the ass." "No, that was literal…" she replied, trying to joke. Although she didn't even feel well enough to do it. "Have you told Mom and Dad why you broke up with him?" She shakes her head. With a scared face. "Do you want Dad to go detective-like and kill him?" "Well, a little scare would have be great to that jerk." Becka replied with a mischievous smile. MC laughed. A scare would have been nice, maybe he would have learned the lesson of never cheating on someone again. The young woman began to look at the coffee cup. Cheating... she'd always been lied on: Richy, Jake, her ex... What a lucky girl she was. Becka gave her a concerned look at her expression. Her little sister was already beginning to think too much. “You never got an answer from Jake, did you?” she asked her, finally bringing it up. Only Becka know. Again, she didn’t dare to tell her parents. If her father found out that a boy had cheated on her little girl, he would have gone after him. "No, never... " "Then better" Becka banged on the table, settling into the chair. The clients looked at her annoyed ". Fuck him, he's lost a good girl. If he never got in contact with you after two years, he didn't love you.” MC nodded slowly. Her sister was right ". He was and is married, you were just a little fun for him, the things he told you weren't true." "Are you helping me or are you making me feel worse?" the little sister asked confused, frowning. "What I want to say is that I know that this guy made you have a hard life, MC, he got you into the subject of his sister and ended up getting you into cuckolding" she explained softly, seeing that her little sister looked at her badly ", and who knows what else he would have gotten you if you had accepted his disgusting proposition. Seriously sis, I don't know how you manage to attract guys like that…." "I don't know, maybe my name is cursed or something like that" she sighed, leaning against the table ". Like last year, when I had to help in another case." "And all because of that guy, Jake" She waved an annoyed hand at her ". If he hadn't put you in the first case, no one would have known about you and you would be having a quiet life. Now you're showered with offers to help them by getting you into more trouble." MC rested her head on the table. Yeah true. Now everyone wanted hers help. Even she didn't know how she solved the first case, Hannah's. She just know it. "MC…" Her sister caressed her head affectionately, sighing "I'm sorry little girl, I can't tell you anything other than sorry. You will see how now everything works out for you." The young woman looked up, smiling. She hoped that she was right. Not everything had to be so bad in life.
They left the cafeteria and Becka began to search in her bag. MC looked at her confused. “What's wrong?” she asked, watching how she continued to search. "Shit… I think I left my phone on the table" the older sister looked at the little one, as an apology "Wait a minute, I'm going to get it." “Okay." Becka went back inside and MC stayed outside waiting. While she waited, she looked everywhere. A bad habit that she got from everything that had happened. She thought that she was going to be recognized again. And she was. She was recognized. But she also recognized him.
It came as a surprise to her to see that Jake was across the street. Of all the people who could be in the same place where her parents lived, it had to be him. They both exchanged glances. He was dressed as she imagined when she first met him, before learning the truth. The one in the black sweatshirt. The one that there was supposed to be no lies between them. It seemed strange to her after meeting the Jake who lied to her. She stood still, not knowing what to do. Should she come closer? No. Sh shouldn't. That would be dragging. In addition that… He didn't deserve it. Jake put the phone he was holding in his pants pocket. Without taking his eyes off her. He began to walk slowly, straight towards her. MC got nervous, her heart started beating fast.
Jake's footsteps quickened, until they crossed the street. There was a moment when a car almost ran him over, while he was distracted by her. MC put her hand to her face, scared. Unbelievable that he would risk his life to get close to her like that. She lowered her hand and saw that he was getting closer to her. And the closer he got, the more nervous she got.
Jake managed to get to her, staying in front of her. Without touching her, he just looked at her. His breathing was ragged from putting his life in danger, but he had done it. Surely the people passing by on the street were wondering why there were two idiots looking at each other in the street. "Hello…" Jake finally said, a little nervous. "Hi…" MC swallowed, looking directly into his eyes. It was the first time after two years that they saw each other. And she still hadn't forgotten his face. "What a…coincidence, is not it?" Jake continued, with a small, nervous smile. "Yes... Too much." The young woman herself didn't know how to react. Just a few minutes before, she was talking to her sister about him, and now, here he was. In front of her. Obviously it wasn't because he had followed her, but rather, they would have crossed paths long ago, is what she suspected. But the doubt was there. "I'm here" her sister left the cafeteria, and she watched them ". Hello, hello" Before long, she changed her tone of voice when she saw Jake, to a more flirtatious one ". I'm Becka, MC's older sister.” She offered her hand to the mysterious boy, not knowing who he was. "Jake" MC started to signal him not to continue, but he didn't realize it ", Jake Donfort." He squeezed her older sister's hand, greeting her. The little sister put a hand to her face, hiding her gaze. This was not going to end well. Becka immediately changed her gaze. She looked at MC and then at him. Then again to MC, who had uncovered her face a bit, embarrassed. “Is this Jake?” she asked, pointing at him, annoyed. "Yes, but-" MC didn't give her time to continue that her sister had punched Jake in the eye. The little sister made a surprised and frightened sound at the reaction of her sister, who was waving her hand in pain. "That's what you get for playing with my sister's heart, you bastard!" Becka yelled at him. "What are you doing?!" MC yelled scared, approaching Jake "I'm sorry! Very sorry!" “It is alright” Jake hissed “, I know I deserve it." "DAD!" The three heard from across the street. They turned and saw a girl of about eight nine years old, looking at them scared as well. " ’’Dad’’?" Becka asked, giving Jake a dirty look "Did you bring your daughter to use her to win her back?" "Becka!" MC yelled at her, embarrassed. The girl managed to cross the street at the zebra crossing, approaching the three adults. Rose smiled when she saw MC, excited and forgetting her father was hurt. “MC!” she exclaimed with a big smile. "Rose!" MC greeted, receiving the girl's hug. "Why did this woman hit my father?" the girl asked, looking at Becka, her arms folded. "Because your father is a pig, girl, he deserves a lesson." the woman replied abruptly. MC nudged her sister and then returned to Jake. “Are you okay?” she asked. Although it was true that he kind of deserved it, but in front of all the people she could cause problems. "I think so" Jake said, putting his hand up to his face ". Your sister has a good right hand." Becka blew her fist, proud. Nice reunion. She hoped that no one would call the police and arrest her sister.
The four of them went to Jake's house. It was better to argue in private than to put on a show in the street. And MC had already put on enough shows to now do it in the place where his parents lived.
She placed a couple of ice cubes on a cloth, in order to relieve and reduce the swelling in the eye. Jake was sitting on a kitchen chair, his hand over his eye. The young woman took his hand so that she would let see it. It really was very red. "Ow…" she said between her teeth. "Is it that bad?" Jake asked, unable to open his eye wide. "Not so... bad" answered MC, placing the cloth carefully, giving small touches. They stayed silent in the kitchen. No one dared to say anything. Too much time had passed and too much had happened to start a conversation, but the silence was also uncomfortable. "How… how's everything?" Jake asked, trying to hold a conversation. "Oh, pretty good" the young woman replied sarcastically "I just ended a two-year relationship because my boyfriend had a threesome with my roommate and her boyfriend, but everything's fine." "Define fine?" Jake asked, rhetorically. MC laughed. She didn't even know why she had told him. What did he care what had happened to her in her life? Jake brought his hand to hers with the rag. MC, thought that maybe he wanted to touch her, but she was surprised by his words. "I will do it myself." said the young man, picking up the cloth to continue with the treatment. She backed away from him, leaning against the counter. She watched him carefully. Yes. He was still attractive. How she hated it. "And what about you?" MC asked him "How are you?" "Oh…" Jake began to think. She didn't know if that was good or bad, if he was looking for an excuse "I guess fine" he finally answered, looking at her ". Taking care of Rose while Katherine is away for work." MC nodded. Understanding it. He had stayed with his wife. "And is this house a kind of second home?" asked MC, remembering that they could even afford an expensive apartment. "He's been divorced for two years!" they heard Rose at the kitchen door. They both turned and saw her stick her head out, smiling. “Mom and dad divorced two years ago” Rose continued, resting her hand on the doorjamb ". Since then dad is single." Jake sighed and MC laughed. She was surprised that he didn't say anything to her as soon as they saw each other. "So now you know MC, my dad is free." "MC!" Becka also appeared at the door, leaning against the frame "Don't even think about paying attention to this Gremlin." her sister looked down at the girl. "I have a name, is Rose" the girl replied, raising her head "and with that attitude no one will like you." "Sorry, girl, but I fu-" MC coughed, stopping Becka "I make a lot of friends" she was correcting herself, seeing how Jake nodded his thanks ". But seriously, if you listen to her I'm going to hit her." "Rose, why do not you go watch something on television?" Jake began to ask. "Becka, come with her." MC said, looking at her sister, crossing her arms. "Come on girl, let's go watch Teletubies." Becka started walking, taking Rose with her. "I don't watch Teletubies." the girl answered, annoyed. "So Ladybug?" "No, unsolved crime shows." "Are you sure that's for your age?" Jake and MC laughed watching how they were talking to each other. They were pure comedy.
They were left alone again. That discomfort returned. The young woman didn’t know what to say with the new information that Rose had given her, but she was surprised. Two years divorced? Knowing how much he loved her, she was quite surprised. "You left Katherine then..." MC began to say, starting the conversation. "It did not feel right to continue lying her like that" Jake replied, lowering the rag so he could look at her. He had a very good punch mark. Becka had hit him hard. "You admit you were cheating on her." "Yes" the black-haired youth sighed, with a regretful voice ". I ended up telling her everything and… Well, I knew that I should not continue like this, that it was better to get away." MC nodded. It was the best thing he could have done. "And now I live here" Jake looked into the kitchen, letting out a sigh ". I changed the job position to one that would not be dangerous for Rose or would have to stop seeing her” He looked at MC. That confused man was no longer seen, but rather a proud father of his daughter ", so, these two years, I have dedicated myself to being by my daughter's side and… Face my past." "You mean your father?" MC began to approach him, sitting in the chair next to him. "And it was not pretty at all" Jake continued, putting the rag back on ". I told him everything I felt towards him. Unfortunately, I broke up another family… But I gained two sisters." The young woman chuckled when she heard him. She knew that Jake was Hannah and Lilly's half-brother because he told her so himself. It was at least nice to know that it was true that he was really the girls' half-brother. "And... Is what Rose says true?" MC looked at him curiously, biting her lip nervously. "You've been single for two years?" "As I said, I did not want to do anything other than dedicate myself to my daughter" Jake finally left the cloth on the table, looking at MC, intensely, but at the same time a little more serious ". I did not want to make the same mistakes with her that my father made." MC looked at him proudly. At no time had he told her anything about how he felt about her or taken advantage of her to get 'Oh look at me, I am the poor single father looking for a mother for my daughter' way. "And you?" Jake raised an eyebrow, with a half laugh. "With how smart you are, how were you able to take down a guy like that?" MC laughed, playing with the rag. She denied with her head. Not even herself knew about it. "I guess…" she looked into his eyes, letting out a sigh "Well, we were good for two years and…" she shrugged, shaking her head again "Look, I don't know, he was a guy who made me happy and after two years I see that he is having a threesome as if he were not dating me. And in my own apartment." “I am curious what you did after." "I threw it all out the window." "What?" Jake started to laugh. "All my roommate's clothes, her boyfriend's and my ex's" MC made a gesture of spreading his arms across the table, creating the scene in her head ", down the street." "I have a feeling it is not the only thing you did." "No" MC smiled proudly ". I grabbed her mattress and threw it down the stairwell." Jake laughed and MC followed him, remembering the scene and how they were begging her to forgive them. But not. She didn’t forgive them. Besides that she blocked her ex from everywhere. She deleted him from social media. He no longer existed for her. "Remind me never to make you angry." Jake teased, with a charming smile. MC's heart beat fast at the sight of that smile.
She then remembered what she suffered and looked the other way. She did not know what to do. Yes, okay, he had changed, but that didn't mean that she was going to throw herself into his arms the first time. "Hey MC" she directed her gaze to Jake. His voice sounded hurt now. He saw him rub his hands, he seemed uncomfortable "I want to apologize for all the bad I made you feel" MC looked at him, paying attention. The young man ended up looking at her. He didn't dare look at her for fear of her reaction ", if I did not look for you before, it was because I thought you would think it was because I had decided-" "But have you decided?" "No" he replied. MC's heart broke in two ". I do not want to say that it is not that I have not made up my mind, but that-” Jake took a deep breath. He didn't know how to explain it well without making it sound like he was seeking her forgiveness or pitying him “I did not want you to get your hopes up that I was going to see you about that." MC smiled. Good. They were nice words. She didn't mind, on the contrary. In these two years, he had devoted himself to her daughter, to being the father that Rose needed. If he was stuck in the desires of which woman was better or if he could keep both. The decision not to go after her and to divorce Katherine admired her. A small smile appeared on MC's lips. And Jake answered it with another. "Thank you" MC replied ", for respecting me." "I hurt you a lot" Jake continued ". I apologize for everything I did to you." "I forgive you Jake" the young woman smiled more broadly ". But I’m also glad to know that you have done everything for your daughter." "It was worth it" he gave a small laugh ". I do not think many parents could put up with two Frozen-themed birthdays and Frozen two themed like me." MC laughed, imagining him preparing everything for little Rose and her fanaticism with the movie. "It is good to see you again, MC." Jake opened up, keeping a bit of that distance with her. "Me too, Jake." The atmosphere was no longer uncomfortable.
They both looked at each other with a happy smile, but it was clear that they were not going to take the step again. Not yet. "And you are going to be here a long time?" Jake asked, curious, but not trying to sound interested. "I'll be staying the week for vacation" she replied, brushing her hair out of her face. She was trying not to seem too interested in his question either ". We are visiting our parents." "Rose will be delighted to know" he sighed, never taking his eyes off her ". She missed you so much." "Me too" she answered sincerely ". Maybe I'll stop by to see her then." "Tomorrow we were going downtown to see the horse parade that will be there" the young man asked without giving it much importance ", so if you want, you are invited, I am sure she will be very excited for you to come." MC nodded. She wanted to dare to ask him if he would be excited for her too, but she preferred to leave it that way. This was not the time to mess it up. "Sure, I'll give you my phone number and I'll let you know." said the woman, taking her phone out of her pockets. "Yes, of course, I will give you mine too if you want." They both exchanged cell phones, writing down each other's number.
They stared at each other's number as they returned their phones. Then look at each other with a smile. They met thanks to her phone number. And now, she was sharing it with him again. She wasn't giving him a second chance because there never was a first. She was giving him a chance to fix things.
But it was better to say it this way: It was an opportunity to really get to know each other better.
THE END
#duskwood#duskwood jake#duskwood mc#duskwood jake x mc#duskwood fanfic#duskwood everbyte#everbyte#everbyte studio
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[ Wounds That Refuse to Heal ]
Hearing that Ashelia was the only survivor among her siblings made Mantis’ eyes widen. It hit too close to home, and something inside her chest seemed to tug painfully as her antennae became droopy. Before Ego learned that Quill was still out there, Mantis thought for the longest time she was the only child of Ego left alive. Then Ashelia said it did not matter now. “But it matters to you…” Mantis said softly. “Therefore, it matters.”
Ashelia’s reaction to the flowers was endearing, and Mantis smiled. Her antennae perked up when Ashelia said Mantis was very kind, helping Ashelia despite knowing nothing of her. “I do know a few things. Basch and his brother did mention you… But do not worry, they did not criticize you. Basch truly cares about you, although I believe you are aware.” Ashelia’s offer was really sweet, and Mantis’ face lit up as Ashelia brought up being a healer. “Oh, that is wonderful, Princess! I can do some healing, too. Though… I think it has less to do with the art of healing itself, and more to do with my ability to control others. I can try to control an injured part of their body and leave their will intact. For example, I can get them to stop bleeding.” Mantis tilted her head. “Though it can be difficult for me to do so if I am injured. It makes it harder to heal myself. I am thankful for your offer and I will make sure to ask for your help if I need it, but you do not need to repay me.”
Mantis listened intently as Ashelia explained how surprised Basch had been by Vossler’s betrayal. How Ashelia could tell that Basch had no idea his friend was capable of doing something like that. “Perhaps he wants to project kindness and goodness as the default, and see the best in others. If I am honest, it is something I would be more guilty of myself if I wasn’t able to read people’s intentions. I believe that is why he was disappointed, especially considering this man was his friend.” Her hand moved to gently rest on Ashelia’s shoulder. “If you do not wish to tell him, then don’t. But I believe telling him could make you feel safe. Maybe you are right, maybe he would blame himself, but… he would be mistaken. It was his friend who chose to attempt to hurt someone.”
Mantis knew that expecting Ashelia and Noah to clear the air was a rather idealistic approach. But in her defense, it was one she had learned as she lived with the Guardians: no matter how often they argued, how loud their fights were, how different they were from one another. At the end of the day, they were a family of choice. They loved each other and were willing to protect each other from danger. Mantis knew there was no love between Noah and Ashelia, but they still had something in common: Basch cared deeply about them both.
“Of course I will accompany you, Princess.” Mantis smiled warmly. “Do not worry, I will not let things escalate.” If Ashelia and Noah could not actually be kind to each other, Mantis could always use her powers to, at least, make sure they wouldn’t get physical again. Mantis stepped aside, for she had no idea where Noah could be. “After you.”
__________
Ashelia smiled. It did matter to her, but more and more she felt pressure to let go of the past. She didn’t feel ready to do that, but she wasn’t sure there was any adequate amount of time that would ever make her feel ready. “Thank you. I do know that, I just… I need to strike a good balance… between adjusting to this time period and keeping the memories of those I loved close. I haven’t figured out how to manage that yet, but I am trying,” she said honestly. “They have something here called therapy. Have you heard of it?” she asked so innocently, having no idea how common and normal as thing it was on Earth in this time period. “It’s a wonderful thing. There are kind people who will listen to your problems and concerns and then give you advice on how to solve them or heal from them. It has helped me immensely, and I truly wish such an activity had existed in my time.”
“Basch cares for me?” she asked as soon as Mantis had said it, but she was quick to correct. “Oh, I think it is the duty he still feels to my father. He told me he promised my father to protect me after he was gone, and so I think he still feels as though he has to continue in that duty.” Because it couldn’t be for any other reason. Especially after she’d been so cruel for him when they were reunited after his imprisonment. Even so, her cheeks turned a bit pink.
As Mantis lit up, so too did Ashelia. To hear of another healer was always a joy, because the world was full of hurting, injured, and sick people, and wasn’t it always a wonderful thing to be able to ease that pain? “How fascinating! I have never heard of someone healing in that manner. That is a truly useful skill to have!” she said excitedly. She then nodded happily when Mantis accepted her own offer of healing, should she need it in the future. “Very well, then. I shall be glad to help you.”
Mantis was right, of course, about telling Basch. Ashelia knew she should have told him. Gods, she should have told him that night. Now there was nothing he could do about it, and Vossler was already dead. “You speak the truth…” Ashelia mused, looking down at her hands. “But somehow, when he is before me, I find I cannot speak about it. He has carried so much pain within him, for a great deal many reasons, and all this time I could not bear to add to it, but now I fear he may be even more hurt by my having waited so long to tell him…” She sighed and nodded. “I will tell him. Soon. Somehow,” she decided.
“You are so very kind, thank you so much!” Ashelia said at Mantis’ agreement to accompany her. “I am so sorry to drag you into all this… I hope I am not interrupting your afternoon schedule,” she said, feeling a bit guilty but so grateful to have someone else with her as she confronted Noah yet again. She felt a great responsibility to apologize to him, even if she detested the man and still hadn’t forgiven him for murdering her father. He was not guilty of… of… well, of whatever she saw flash in his eyes as she folded in on herself in a panic. She was genuinely sorry for having made him think that she thought he would harm her in that way, especially since even in her trauma-clouded state she could still tell that he’d been very hurt by the notion.
“Let us try his quarters first. If he is not there, then… perhaps the gym. Basch has said that, sometimes when his brother is very angry, he goes to train in the gym,” Ashe said as they began walking. When they reached Noah’s room, there were distinct noises of things being thrown, broken, and other such crashed from inside. Ashelia’s eyes widened. “Perhaps we shouldn’t?” she whispered to Mantis, shaking her head, not knowing that this was a common way Noah burned off steam when there were no other calming forces to help dissipate his energy. Drace had been able to do that for him, but she was dead now, and long forgotten to the past. Alone, such as he was, Noah needed to get rid of the anger and self-loathing somehow…
#side muse: ashelia#{ royal avenger } ᵐᶜᵘ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ#{ wounds that refuse to heal }#alt muse: noah#{ unwilling avenger } ᵐᶜᵘ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ
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I just need to vent and let this one out. I’m not ready to tell my friends or family. Or maybe I’m too fucking nice and don’t want to bash my ex even though he’s a piece of shit person.
I spent the past 5, nearly 6 years of my life with someone who ultimately showed me the “love” I don’t want nor deserve. I basically begged this man to love me for almost 4 years. Sad isn’t it? The last year is the only time I truly felt loved by this person.
There has been so much back and forth, breaking up and making up, and every single time when we get back together- we’d be swearing that things would be different.
Just two months ago, almost three- I had made the call to break up due to things he cannot refrain himself from doing (I.e dm-ing women behind my back, following random women and women he claims to not be attracted to.) And immediately after he does all the things that knows hurt me. Whether it’s to hurt me or not, who knows- but it’s still being done. You don’t do things like this to someone you claim to love.
After every dispute I usually get sent his profile from tinder or bumble. It honestly would never surprise me if he was already up there.
I do not and will never understand someone who has lost your trust so many times, and can try to convince you that they love you, and at the sign of any disagreement tries to rip you to shreds. (I.e. “the only reason I stay with you is bc my dog loves you”, “you’re not very smart,” “you can’t do anything,” “you don’t bring value,” etc.) To believe that they are baffled at your distrust is absolutely insane.
He came over to my apartment one night after the last breakup to give me the remaining things I had. He was sad as fuck, apologetic as fuck. Promising me my wildest romance dreams. Telling me I was all he needed and wanted and that social media validation didn’t matter to him. He even made his own decision to delete his Instagram, unwarranted. I gave him all the reasons to keep it but he really made me believe that he was here for me and told me he knew he was the one for me. It’s honestly sad and laughable looking back now. I really bought it and thought, finally- the moment is finally here. Maybe he is the one for me. So I gave it another shot, but I told myself at the next slight lie I can spot- call it off. I really hoped that moment never came.
Flash forward two months later, the moment comes. He downloads Instagram and reactivates the account he swore he deleted and told me. Now I don’t know about you but it’s pretty clear to see the difference between deactivating and deleting… but besides that, he did that and had the nerve to tell me, that he “wasn’t thinking”, he “didn’t want it” and that he’d delete it as soon as he could. Only for me to find out that wasn’t true.
Because I’m me, I noticed something he did in our last breakup. The first three people he went to find to follow again were three women I have accused him of being attracted to. Why? Well for one he can’t miss a post, he always somehow looks for these women first after every dispute, and I’ve seen him flirt with these women online whether it’s be on twitter or a dm on Instagram trying realllly hard to talk to them. I brought this up to him and suddenly I become the bad guy.
Honestly I just know now this man does not know how to healthily discuss important things. That could’ve been an opportunity to strengthen our relationship. Instead he chose to shit on me. Made me feel less of a person for even feeling any type of way though I thought this was someone that loved me and would console me.
You’d think huh? I’m obviously wrong.
Anyways- I broke up with him on Friday due to the lie of him telling me he’d delete his Instagram. If he was going to do it, he would’ve did it then or at least said something to me. He kept instigating me and my feelings.
A weekend goes by- he stays idle. Monday comes and here we go. The follow train. Honestly this was a world record for him because normally it takes him less than 24 hours.
And surprise, surprise it’s all the women I have ever accused him of. Funny how it’s usually always the same ones that he goes to look for. The ones he could somehow never talk to in front of me.
And it’s crazy that he really made me feel seen and understood the night we made up for the last time, i felt loved and finally understood.
Point now is he doesn’t care. He put me in a shitty position, and now I have to handle a medical procedure on my own. I had many plans for the rest of our lives together bc that’s what I really saw with this person, or at least tried to. It sucks to have that being ripped away from you in a matter of a second.
It just really fucking hurts when you spend such a long time trying to trust someone who has mishandled your heart so many times. I really wanted this to be different but it obviously never will be and I forced myself to make a decision I didn’t want for the better of our lives. I don’t have to train someone on how to treat me. How to be a thoughtful partner. How to have empathy.
It just sucks man. I will never understand how someone who has ever claimed to love me could do shit like this to me and my heart back to back to back for damn near 6 years straight.
Im always left embarrassed. Shattered. Sad.
I know I’ll eventually be okay, but fuck him for this and fuck me for giving 6 years of my life to someone who obviously never deserved me or my time or my money.
I gave him everything I had to offer.
My last ex beat me physically, this one abused me mentally and verbally. I’m hoping and wishing for someone specially different who will never dream of hurting me in the future. I see it possible in my friends’ relationships and my parents relationship. I know it’s somewhere there for me too. I hope I meet you soon. For now, it’s just me and my healing.
I’m better off. I’ll be happier. He will too.
I just know that the difference between us is that he’ll be trying to fill a void, and I’ll be the one actually fixing myself. The next person I meet I hope to be the love of my life. The one who will make it make sense on why it never worked out with anyone else.
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peaches & cream || soft!dark Jake Wyler x reader
for @stargazingfangirl18's 5k challenge! I used the prompt, "the town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks."
word count: 3.6k
warnings: smut (noncon), stalking/obsession, some degradation/negging (but lots of praise during the actual smut), kinda yandere vibes?, touch of breeding kink at the end, definitely flirting with the boundary between soft!dark and regular dark but I like to think it’s a fine line
“Sorry, but that’s a seasonal flavor,” the girl at the counter explained in a snarky monotone.
“Well, yeah, but isn’t it still… the season?” you pressed; normally you weren’t the sort of person to argue with a cashier over a milkshake, but the look she was giving you made you feel like she was holding out on you— especially when the promotional poster for the very thing you were trying to order was just behind her head, and said the flavor was available for two more days.
“We’re out,” she answered firmly, but then her face suddenly shifted to a much more pleasant expression as you heard the chime of the front door opening behind you.
You felt his body hovering behind yours just as his hand laid on the counter beside you, caging you in. It was even more unsettling with the context that there was a whole line of people waiting behind you already.
“I’ll get your usual,” the girl promised to the man beside with a flirtatious smile as she disappeared to the back, returning almost instantly with a shake in her extended hand. “Peaches and cream milkshake— extra whipped cream, no cherry. Enjoy!”
Your eyes widened at the reading of your own order. “I thought you were out!” you protested, going completely ignored.
"If you were my girl, this sort of thing wouldn't need to happen."
You recoiled from Jake's voice in your ear, and he smiled in spite of your snarl, bringing the straw to his lips slowly. With a shudder you walked away, deciding it was probably better to forgo a milkshake anyways— especially if it was a chance to avoid everyone’s favorite senior, the football king who basically owned the whole town for no other reason than being good-looking, athletic, and allegedly “charming” or whatever.
Of course, he followed you, sitting across from you in a booth and silently shooing his posse of fellow teammates to go off and give you two some space. If only he would give you space.
“We can share,” he offered as he held the milkshake out towards you. “I know it’s your favorite… it’s mine too.”
“I’ve lost my appetite,” you explained quickly as you pulled a book out of your backpack, intent on ignoring him since you couldn’t physically force him to leave.
He shrugged and returned to sucking on the straw, watching you unwaveringly as you tried to read your book— staring at the page was going well, but you couldn’t seem to actually get any words down. Had you forgotten English as a written language or something?
“Could you leave?” you finally asked as you groaned and looked up from your book. “You’re distracting me.”
“I’m literally just sitting here,” he reminded you.
“And it’s distracting!”
He smirked proudly. “My presence tends to have that effect on people. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
You rolled your eyes, burying your face back in your book. “You know, you may have everybody else fooled, but someday you’re gonna have to leave this pathetic little town and go into the real world where throwing a ball isn’t a career and nobody fawns over you just because you have the audacity to be attractive.”
He chuckled lightly. “Right, because you have those big city dreams of yours, but believe it or not some of us like this ‘pathetic’ little town.”
“Well, of course you would,” you snorted. “Your dad’s the mayor and your girlfriend’s the head cheerleader.”
“My ex-girlfriend,” he corrected, finally getting your attention enough to make you shut your book.
“What?” you blurted out.
“Yeah, she dumped me,” he explained plainly.
“Why would she do that?” you asked, making him look much too proud of himself again. “Finally snapped out of the brainwashing, huh?” you added, effectively killing his smug expression.
“I guess you could say that. She met some college guy from out of town… I think her parents liked me too much, she needed a bit more rebellion.”
“Well, my condolences to you,” you smiled, “and my congratulations to her.”
“I thought you hated her,” he scoffed.
“Well, now she and I have something in common: a complete lack of interest in you!”
“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he smirked, “she still comes over every now and again to suck my cock.”
You choked on nothing, face getting warm at his crude language. He didn’t talk like that with anyone else; it was so cruel the way he kept everybody in town under his spell except you, the way he let you in on his real darkness with no one else to confide in or believe you.
It was so fundamentally lonely, being the one person who wasn’t in love with Jake Wyler. It was even worse being the one person Jake Wyler loved.
At least, that was the word he used multiple times in his semi-anonymous letters, his incessant calls and emails, his speeches outside your window. He’d actually cooled off lately, you wondered if maybe he had finally let go of this ‘the one thing I can’t have’ obsession and learned to appreciate his girlfriend (who, for all her personality flaws, was objectively gorgeous, and seemed to at least be nice to him if nobody else).
But now that she left him (which you were still trying to process, honestly), you were surprised he hadn’t already moved on to the next best wannabe model and/or reinstated his campaign to win you over.
Then again, the look in his eye kind of made you think you were about to witness the second one.
“You know, when she does come over, I can only ever finish because I’m thinking about you,” he revealed in a low voice. You grimaced and slid out of the booth, stuffing your book into your bag and barely managing to throw him a goodbye before you dashed out.
It wasn’t like you really thought you could get away from him— he had made it clear over and over that you couldn’t— but the idea of being crammed in that booth with him, surrounded throughout the diner by his adoring fans who somehow didn’t manage to overhear him when he said those awful things, made you feel nauseous.
What you should’ve considered was that, fans or not, those people were witnesses, and now that you were running out into the dark streets of the town and he was chasing after you, you didn’t have any. It was just you and him, and when you turned into an alleyway to try to get home faster, even the dim glow of the streetlights couldn’t see you anymore.
“Hey,” he stopped you with a tight grip on your arm, pulling you back into him.
“Let me go!” you whined, trying to tug yourself away but only ensuring that his hand would leave a bruise on your arm.
“I will when you just hear me out, okay?” he hissed, spinning you around to look up at him. "Why don't you just give me a chance? Don't you wanna be popular?"
"I don't want to be anything that requires being within ten yards of you!" you spat.
He seemed bewildered, but you knew he wasn’t actually that stupid. "Why?"
"Because you know why!"
He sighed, slumping his shoulders a little. "Are we still on that, really? I told you, you should take it as a compliment. You know how many girls would kill to catch me jerking off in their panties?"
"You're sick, Jake,” you sighed, “and you're really good at hiding it from everyone else but I know what you really are. You told me you needed help with algebra and I actually believed you, for months you were lying to me to get close so you could perv on me when you already had a girlfriend and two side chicks anyways— god, Jake, you're crazy!"
You yelped when he pinned you to the wall, blue eyes darker than ever. "I really, really hate that word."
Against the wall, your back straightened as you felt the tone shift completely for a moment before he was back to his jovial self again, giving you a somber but almost-genuine smile.
“The only kind of crazy I am is crazy about you,” he defended with a laugh, leaning in a little closer. “Why can’t you see that?”
As his eyes moved from your own to your lips, a renewed sense of fear shot through you. “Jake…” you mumbled, apparently your feeble attempt to ask him to stop.
“Just one kiss,” he bargained, “and then I’ll let you go. Okay? That’s all I need.”
“N-no,” you whimpered, turning your head away as he leaned in even further. “Stop.”
“Come on, it’s just a kiss, baby,” he cooed. “Then you can leave. Hey, you might actually like it. You know, I think that’s what you’re really scared about… and I get it! When I first realized I was in love with you, it was scary for me, too— I mean, I’m the most important guy in town and you’re just some bookworm, it’s sort of social suicide for me so I had a lot to worry about.”
There he went with his negging again, trying to bring you down to his level. Your brain knew that, it saw right through it, but your gut still sank with doubt.
“But I know now that love is nothing to be afraid of,” he concluded.
“No, Jake,” you whispered, feeling tears well in your eyes, “I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me if I don’t do what you want.”
“Well, that is something to be afraid of,” he replied with the coldest laugh you’d ever heard; you didn’t hear any agreement, but the lack of denial was deafening. “So just be my good girl and let me kiss you…”
You swallowed dryly, your eyes wide open and searching for anywhere to look but up at him.
He was so close now that his lips brushed against yours with his command: “say it.”
You stammered over your breath, not sure exactly what he was asking for, and you winced as you felt his grip tighten on your arms.
“Say, ‘kiss me’,” he clarified in a harsh whisper. “Say, ‘please’...”
“Please,” you repeated awkwardly, hearing it in your voice but so clearly not your own words, “kiss me.”
He let his mouth intertwine with yours and your eyes were still wide open as he let his own fall shut, moving his hands to clutch your face gently instead as you gave a weak effort to kiss him back.
Objectively, he was good at this. A lot of things were objectively true about Jake: as much as you forced yourself not to see it, he was handsome; as much as it didn’t really matter to you, a boycotter of all things sports, he was talented; and, as much as no one else realized it, he was completely deranged. For every word of kindness from him there was another of anger. For every love letter in your locker, there was a threat left scrawled on crumpled paper inside your bedroom, just so he could remind you that your parents would let him into the house if he asked and never question it.
Which was why it was extremely important that you did not enjoy this kiss. You needed to hate the way his fingers traced over the pulse in your neck, the way his tongue tickled yours, the way his teeth just barely grazed your lip until your knees went a little weak.
But wow, there was something primally satisfying about melting into his arms, feeling his strength support you like it was nothing when he held your waist and pulled you closer.
You could almost forget that it was him. But then he mumbled your name into the kiss, nearly moaned it in fact, and it pulled you back to reality. With a gasp, you pushed him away and blinked your eyes open, not even realizing you’d closed them; hating how quickly you’d started to give in to him.
“There, one kiss,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve. “I’m gonna go home now—”
“You can’t be serious,” he laughed incredulously. “You’re gonna kiss me like that and tell me you don’t feel this, too? We’re so meant for each other— we even order the same milkshake!”
“That doesn’t matter!” you denied.
“I love you!”
“That doesn’t matter either!”
You turned to leave but he grabbed you again from behind, covering your mouth with his hand when you opened your mouth to scream. “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” he hissed in your ear, “and don’t walk away from me.”
Fighting against his grip did nothing but exhaust you: he only needed one arm to hold you back as he dragged you deeper into the alley. Your legs swung wildly and landed a kick to his shin, and he plugged your nose while he was covering your mouth so you couldn’t breathe.
“Listen to me, you stuck up little bitch,” he growled. “I’m really sick of this ‘hard to get’ act. I know you want me. So shut up and let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, okay? You gonna be good?”
In that moment, you would’ve agreed to anything for a chance to fill your lungs with fresh air, and so you nodded, the back of your head rubbing against his chest.
“You gonna be nice and quiet so nobody catches you getting fucked like a whore in this alley?”
Another nod, more feverish than the last, ended with a sharp inhale as he let go of your nose. But he was still covering your mouth, his arm around you now feeling less like restraint and more like an embrace.
"I've wanted you for so long, you can't even imagine," he explained softly as he leaned down and kissed your neck, gripping your waist tighter. "You and this perfect body of yours. This smart little head that thinks too much…"
You swallowed dryly as his hand trailed lower.
"This pussy you've been hiding from me for much too long," he added darkly, roughly shoving his hand up your skirt.
You whined behind his hand but he didn’t seem to care; he pulled your skirt up and grinned at the sight of your panties— because he recognized them.
“I remember these,” he purred. “They look good on you, baby, but they looked better covered in my come.”
Your cheeks burned with shame— you already hated yourself for still wearing the pair he’d tampered with, but it was harmless after a few runs through the washer, right? You weren’t going to stop wearing your favorite panties just for him, that would mean he won, in a sense; or, that’s what you told yourself to justify not burning them.
“Don’t worry, they’re gonna be soaked by the time I’m done with you,” he purred, slipping two fingers between your legs and growling slightly. “Well, actually, you’ve already done a lot of the work for me.”
He pulled the fabric aside and explored your pussy instead, tightening his grip over your mouth as you made little muffled yelps. The rough pads of his fingers found and targeted your clit instantly, that megawatt smile pressed against your ear as he started to rub your bud harder.
“Mm, feels good, huh?” he taunted, moving even faster as your hips jolted unintentionally. He stopped only to bring the fingers to his lips, humming at the taste of you which he sucked off of them. “So sweet, babygirl— better than any peaches and cream milkshake, that’s for sure.”
The wet fingers trailed down your body again, finding your entrance that he suddenly pushed into; it was a little too much without any warning and it made your eyes shoot wide open, a squeak barely escaping your throat.
"Just as tight as I imagined, baby,” he sighed, “all those times I used your panties, or hooked up with somebody who almost looked like you from behind. You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I know you want it so bad.”
He took his fingers out of you to reach back and open his belt with one hand, the sound of the buckle matched in upsettingness only by the sound of his jeans sliding down to his thighs.
You heard your own breath loud and heavy against his hand as you felt his hard cock press against your thigh, a drop of precum smearing on your skin. Your breathing halted suddenly, though, when he slid himself between your legs to rub his cock over your exposed and swollen pussy.
“Oh, babygirl, you really are too good to me,” he grinned, kissing your ear tenderly. “So fucking wet and ready for me, huh? You need it that bad? You’re gonna get it, baby, ‘m gonna give it to you so good…”
Bracing yourself as best you could, you felt the head of his cock push against your entrance before he slammed in all at once, making you hiss in pain.
“Oh god,” he groaned, “fuck, you’re so warm…”
Already he was fucking into you roughly, pumping faster and deeper, paying no mind to your choked sobs of pain from the wide stretch. Even when it stung it felt oddly good, and the underside of his cock seemed to slide perfectly over your g-spot with each movement until your eyes began to roll back in your head.
“So fucking good,” he moaned hoarsely as he braced you against the brick wall for leverage, reaching back down with his free hand to rub your clit again. He chuckled when your legs quivered, and he must have felt your walls tighten around him, too. “I wanna hear those pretty moans, baby, if I take my hand away are you gonna be good?” he asked darkly. You nodded, enjoying the brief feeling of freedom that came from not having his hand over your mouth anymore. But then again, it was humiliating that now he could hear your panting breaths, your desperate mewls that you failed to swallow down.
He made a sound that was almost like a laugh as he watched you squirm in his arms, one more way he had to lord this all over you, as if forcing you to take him in an alley wasn’t enough on its own.
His breath against your ear was hot and strained, each meeting of your hips to his accentuated with a little grunt from him. It didn’t help at all that his fingers were rubbing you just right, with so much skill that you wondered if he’d somehow figured out how you touched yourself when you needed to get off. Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him to have spied on you before, even if you couldn’t figure out when or how.
The hand that used to cover your mouth slid up under your shirt and pulled your bra down, a large, rough hand groping each breast and pinching your nipples until you bit down on your lip to stay quiet. For all the mocking and teasing he’d done before, he was pretty direct now— like he was trying to make you come as fast as possible, overloading your body with sensation.
And did he have to be so fucking good at it?
“I know you’re close, babygirl,” he whispered in your ear, “just let go…”
“Jake, please,” you sobbed, too far gone to appreciate that no begging would make him stop now.
“Come for me,” he demanded roughly, fucking you even faster as he sucked a mark onto your neck, and finally it all came crashing down with a choked-out cry of his name and a gush of warmth dripping out around his length.
“Ohh fuck, there you go, fuck it feels good when you come for me,” he grunted, thrusting even faster. “You’re gonna milk my cock with that pretty pussy, babygirl— you’re gonna make me come…”
“J-Jake, not inside!” you interjected, getting his hand back over your mouth in return.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “waited too long for this to pull out now. Feels too fucking good.”
Behind his hand, the difference between whines of hatred and moans of pleasure was irritatingly subtle.
“I love you,” he reminded you in a voice exhausted yet heavy with desire, “so fucking much…”
A few more erratic, brutal thrusts accompanied by heavy pants and he was gone; you could feel his cock pulsing with each rope of come that filled you, so deep that your head fell dejectedly with the realization you had no hope of washing it out now.
His hand fell from your mouth but he didn’t pull out for another few moments as he caught his breath, gently peppering your neck and cheek in slow kisses. “Baby,” he finally sighed, breaking the crushing silence, “you’re so fucking perfect. I knew you were made for me.”
I hate you, you wanted to cry out, but words escaped you as he hugged you tightly and pulled your panties back into place, soaking them with his come as it leaked out of you just like he’d promised. He stuffed his cock back into his jeans and helped you adjust your clothes back to looking almost presentable, finishing it off by turning you around and smiling at you with serene pride before kissing your forehead.
"You're gonna make such a beautiful prom queen," he cooed, “especially if you’ve already got a nice little bump showing…”
His hand rubbed beneath your belly button for emphasis, making you whimper and force your eyes shut as tears rolled down your cheeks.
"Shh, don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, kissing your cheek softly. “Trust me, you're gonna love being my girl."
#siris5ksoftdarkchallenge#dark!jake wyler x reader#idek how to tag this nobody's looking for jake wyler fics lmao
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Leonardo and not trying in fear of failing… or succeeding : an essay by your local psychology student.
It is now 1AM, my family’s asleep and it’s time for my brain to analyse every bit of the characterisation of my dear boy in blue in the ROTTMNT movie. (Which was so good.)
Let’s go!
Most of us have heard of the concept of not trying in fear of failing: basically someone will unconsciously be so afraid of the possibility of failing at something and be so unable to take that possible hit to their fragile self that they won’t (or won’t be able to) put any effort in doing the thing. Because failing at something you never tried to succed at hurts much less than failing at something you put effort in. You see this kind of behavior a lot in students, and they can end up droping school altogether if they don’t strengthen their self and learn that failing is ok, a normal part of everybody’s life and doesn’t mean your intrinsically bad.
Leonardo definitely has some of that; if he doesn’t try to come up with a genius plan for this mission, then if it fails it won’t hurt as much. AND if it succeeds, it will be only because of his instinct, talent and wits and it will boost his ego. Win-Win! (I will add that I don’t think he really consciously realises that he does that, because when there isn’t exterior pressure for him to make a plan, he’s able to make extremely efficient and brilliant plans.)
But there’s another aspect of this behavior that can seem a lot less logical: not trying in fear of succeeding. Yes, this can seem conterintuitive, but there’s logic behind that too.
Say you want to enter this prestigious school, but you need to make it through the selection so you make big efforts and you work hard and you pass the exams and get to the selection and… you get in! Yay! Hurray you!
But… now that you have reached that standard… you must keep up with it. By meeting your goal you have shown you can achieve a higher level of productivity and success than ever before and you might now feel a lot of pressure to maintain this level all the time. That’s a big change in your life. One that will probably be accompanied by other big changes and questions (ex. What’s your new goal now that you’ve achieved this one? If it’s a new school, will you have to move away? Will your friends and family be close?)
And if there’s one thing that’s scary it’s the unknown and change.
Now to come back to our favorite boy in blue, if he starts to come up with plans and they work, then people (and himself) will start to assume he’s always gonna be able to make good plans and come up with startegies and that’s a whole lot more pressure than succeeding at an exam because it comes with heavier responsibilities. Like the life of his team.
Responsibilities his big brother has always carried before. Not him, not really. And he sees how heavy they weight on Raph, how much he worries and as much as he makes fun of his "Raph chasm", Leo knows that if he takes the leadership, he’ll gain all those worries and responsibilities in addition to the pressure of meeting this new standard and it scares him.
So he doesn’t plan, he wings it. He doesn’t listen to the worries he avoids them. He doesn’t try and takes nothing seriously. He’s scared.
And that’s also why he very much needed to learn to rely on his team. Because no leader is perfect, no leader can have foolproof plans 100% of the time and sometimes they fail and sometimes they can’t come up with a plan and need ideas from their team (a good leader should always listen to their team anyway and they made it clear) and sometimes they can’t protect everyone and that’s ok because they’re humans. (Or mutant turtles in some cases… my point still stands.)
Humans are imperfect and that’s why they aren’t alone.
They need people to rely on sometimes.
And I’m so glad Leo learned that, because that’s the first step towards being a good leader and the first step away from those fears that hold him down.
(I love this image because Leo looks very happy but also a little scared; he still has so much to learn and it’s all so new for him and of course it’s scary but he’s also with his family and he knows they will support and help him. Thank you animators for such top notch facial expressions.)
#rottmnt#rottmnt movie#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie#rottmnt movie spoilers#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt raph#long post#my post#I love leonardo a normal amount#which his with every fiber of my being like any normal person should#hey it’s been a while since I’ve analysed a characters psyche#the movie has been my muse#it was so good and now I feel even deeper sorrow at the idea we could never get another season….#I SO wish the movie will do good and nick will finally decide to renew it#also it’s almost 2AM and I REALLY need to sleep…#I hope my English isn’t too bad in this post XD
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Tiger Lily
Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader
Genre: Fluff, slight angst, smut, established relationship, College!AU
Word Count: 11.3k
Summary: After finding out your boyfriend was the one to secretly leave flowers in your seat every week back in high school, you have many questions he’s willing to answer. And after finding out the reason the two of you had not gotten together back then was because of your ex best friend, the two of you decided that, first, you were never letting anyone else get in between you, and, second, you were making the most out of your time together from now on.
—Alternarively, the one in which you and your boyfriend finally get your place all to your own and he decides he’s not letting his nonexistent sexual experience stop him from having his way with you anymore.
Warnings: Virgin!JK (a.k.a. male virginity loss), fingering, cunnilingus, handjob (kinda), penetrative sex, protected sex, very slight (male) overstimulation, shy and confident guk keep switching places (when do they not), just very lovey dovey, very intimate.
A/N: Helloo, this is part 33 of my Social Media AU Tiger Flower, but you can still read it if you don’t follow the story. I’m actually shocked by how long this turned out to be but wbk I’m soft as hell for this couple 🥺 so please give it lots of love because I put a lot of effort in this ksñaks. I hope you guys enjoy! Oh, and also, I’m bolding the first and last sentence of the smut part, so if you don’t wanna read it just skip what’s in between the bolded words lol.
“I’ll get it” Yoongi announced when someone called on the door, leaving you and Jimin alone on the sofa as he rushed up to get it.
As soon as he opened it and Jeongguk stepped inside your shared place, bowing politely to your friends before his stare fell on you, you felt your heart race. Saying nothing, you gave him a closed mouth smile, having him do the same at the sight of yours. Although it hadn’t been longer than a week, it had been the longest you had gone without seeing each other ever since you became friends, and, even though you weren’t really showing it right then —as for some reason you were nervous as hell to see each other again—, it was unbelievable how happy you were at the mere sight of one another.
“We were just leaving” Yoongi informed, catching up on what was going on. After all, you had told both him and Jimin that your boyfriend would be coming over to talk things out.
“We were?” Jimin asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I just got home”.
“Let’s give them some privacy” he tilted his head towards the opened door so Jimin would tag along.
“I can go to my room for that”.
“Yah! We all know your nosy ass will eavesdrop everything that way” Yoongi called him out, and you didn’t miss the way Jeongguk had to lower his head not to show his amused smile, being already used to your roommates’ endless bickering antics by now. “Come on, let’s go see Jin hyung at his pub”.
Simple as that, Jimin left your side in a heartbeat to go to the door. “Well, I won’t say no to drinking” he admitted, stopping right in front of Jeongguk and pointing an accusing finger at him. “Take care of my baby”.
“My baby” Guk corrected him, mumbling his words low enough for you not to hear.
Although, unlike you, Jimin did hear —for that had been your boyfriend’s intention—, he said nothing, instead glaring at him the way he always did whenever that discussion over you took place at least twice a week, and walking out of the apartment for once and for all. Yoongi, on the other hand, gave the two of you a small thumbs up before following behind his friend.
And just like that, with the sound of the door closing, silence was quick to take over the room.
This was probably the first time ever since you met that neither of you knew what to say. Fuck, this was probably the first time in your life you didn’t know how to start a conversation. And it wasn’t like you could go over there and kiss him like you were dying to, could you? You had not completely made up yet. That’s what he was here for after all. To talk, not to make out. Although you weren’t really against that idea, and he most definitely was not either — the way his eyes fixed on your lips even all the way over from the door was enough to tell you so.
It had been a good couple of days since you had last seen each other after all.
“You, uh…” your voice came out quite unsteady as you stood up, fixing the plain t-shirt and cotton pyjama pants you were wearing. “Are you hungry?” you asked, walking towards the kitchen and having him quietly follow right behind as you entered it. “Wanna eat something? Drink something?”
He shook his head no when you turned around to look at him, resting your hands on the counter as you leaned against it. “Just wanna clear up your questions”.
You nodded, for that was what he was here for after all, to clear everything up so the two of you could go back to normal. So you could go back to being the happy couple you both loved so much.
“So what are they?” he pushed it when you stood there with no signs of wanting to speak any time soon.
“I just…” you shrugged, making yourself comfortable by sitting at the edge of the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were the one sending me flowers back then?”
He pouted in confusion as he came closer to you. “When?”
“When we were friends…”
“It would’ve been out of place back then, petal” he explained. “We were just friends and you were into someone else. It would’ve been awkward for us and I really didn’t wanna lose you as my friend” his voice couldn’t help but come out rather bitterly at that, remembering all the thoughts that had invaded his mind when he first saw his chance to let you know it had been him all along, all the thoughts that kept him back from telling you.
“And when we started dating?” you tilted your head. “You had so many chances to tell me, Guk…”
“When we started dating I just didn’t think it mattered anymore” he confessed, unconsciously resting his hands on your knees. “I had you, I really didn’t care about it anymore”.
“You could’ve still told me…”
“And how was I supposed to bring it up? It’s not something I can just say out of nowhere” he pointed out, having you nodding understandingly. “And what was I supposed to say anyway? Hey there, I’m your flower boy?”
A light laugh escaped his mouth when you playfully shoved him away at his words, mocking what you had once told him was the confession you had been expecting from your secret admirer. Holding your hands, he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, and hence, closer to him. Taking advantage of that, you intertwined your fingers, enjoying the familiar warmth of his hands as you admired the way he softly swayed them together.
“This is so surreal” you sighed.
“In a good or a bad way?”
You shook your head, not being able to give him a proper answer. “I just… I always wanted it to be you so bad, and for a good while I was sure it was you, but it made sense that you were into Sooyeon instead”.
Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, the mere thought of ever feeling something for her making him want to gawk. “How could that have ever made sense?”
“She was more like you” you pointed out, rushing to make your point before he could snap at you for comparing the two of them. “Like, yes, she was popular and had lots of friends, but she was the most quiet out of all of us. Believe it or not, she was really shy back then, an—”
“And why would I have wanted more of the same?”
“Huh?” you were taken aback by his question.
“You’re saying she was like me, then I don’t understand why would I have wanted to be with her” he said as if it was obvious. “If I barely ever speak and so did she… I mean, how would that have even worked out?”
You shrugged, not being able to help the small smile that had started curving up your lips. “Is that why you fall for loud asses like me? So someone else will make up for your lack of talking?”
He chuckled at the teasing tone in your voice, allowing his hands to travel up to your thighs and tenderly drawing circles on them with his thumbs. “Not really” your eyebrows knitted together at his words. “There were a lot of loud girls who would not shut up to save their lives in our class and I didn’t really like them. If anything, they annoyed the hell out of me”.
“Why’d you even want to be with me then?” you wondered, being genuinely curious as to what about your loud, chatty antics, made you different to the rest of your loud classmates.
“You really don’t know why I’ve always liked you?”
You shook your head no. “Why is it?”
Taking in a deep breath, he took a step back so he could collect his thoughts before answering your question. “I don’t think you even remember when I just transferred to our high school in the second year, let alone my first day there. Mrs. Kang made me sit on the empty table next to yours and then proceeded to pass around a surprise test, and me being me, of course I forgot my pencil case at home that day,” he huffed, causing you to chuckle under your breath. “So I just sat there internally freaking out because I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for a pen, like I couldn’t move and my voice literally wouldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried” a breathy laugh abandoned his lips. “And I was accepting the idea of turning in a blank paper when suddenly a pen was placed on my table. So my eyes followed your hand back to your table and there you were with your eyes stuck to the test, solving the math problems like you had not just saved me from failing on my very first day as the new kid,” you laughed at his dramatism, however, you managed to remember about that moment. “And then as soon as the class ended you were surrounded by people and you were all talking nonstop and I didn’t know how to give you your pen back, so I tried to slide it into your table but you caught me and told me I could keep it, that it was a ‘welcome present’, and then you smiled at me and honestly that was it for me, Y/N”.
“It was?” you wondered in awe, eyes shining when he nodded.
“I didn’t like loud and popular people up until then, which is kinda weird considering Tae’s my best friend” a throaty laugh escaped your lips at his remark. “But although you were those things, you always got me. You just… understood, in a way. Like, you didn’t pressure me to talk or made me feel bad for not doing so, like the rest of the popular kids did. If anything, you would try to make me feel like I wasn’t all on my own whilst leaving me alone like I wanted” he tilted his head, wondering if what he just said had made any sense, knowing you understood his point when you smiled ever so sweetly. “Like when you added me to your group project one time and let me send my part instead of having to go hang out with you and your friends for an entire afternoon, or when you would invite me to your birthdays along with the rest of the class and then proceeded to tell me not to feel pressured to go if I didn’t feel like it. And even now, ever since the beginning you made me feel good about not really being into partying and barely ever talking”.
“You’ve been more talkative with me lately, though” you pointed out as you mindlessly played with the hair at the back of his head. “Although this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk”.
He chuckled, playfully pinching your thighs. “Don’t get used to it”.
“I won’t, I won’t” you chuckled, planting a chaste kiss to his chest. “Anyway, you said I get you but I didn’t let you do your part of the project on your own this year, though” you reminded him with a feigned pout that he couldn’t help but find the cutest. “And I force you to spend time with me pretty much everyday now. Will you forgive me?”
Jeongguk let out a throaty laugh, leaning in just enough for his lips to press to your cheek. “I got to date you now thanks to that, so you’re forgiven” he planted another kiss to the curved up corner of your smiling mouth. “And funny how you think you’re forcing me when half the time it’s me asking to hang out”.
You giggled. “We love a 50/50 relationship”.
Tilting your head ever so slightly to take a better look at him after hearing him chuckle, you were greatly surprised by his lips pressing down on yours.
Although you had jokingly said that last sentence, it was not far from the truth at all. It wasn’t just you chasing after him and wanting to be with him all the time, but him wanting the exact same all the same. So you could tell by the way he was kissing you right then. It was slow, painfully slow, yet the way his hands were firmly cupping your face to keep you from moving away as he deepened the kiss, could not fail to tell you just how much he had missed you, needed you, those past few days you were apart.
Pressing one small peck to his mouth, you tugged at the fabric of his sweatshirt to pull him closer to your body, later wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and resting your face on his chest — a content sigh escaping your mouth when his arms did the same with you and his lips kissed the crown of your head.
“It really never would’ve crossed my mind that you liked me way before the whole flowers thing...”
“Not even when that one summer we would keep running into each other at the park and you would catch me staring from time to time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
The heat didn’t wait to reach your cheeks at that. You remembered that very well, for it was the summer you caught feelings for him as well, the one right before you entered your last year of high school. You would go out for walks on your own just for the sake of doing something other than staying in texting your friends all day long, and would run into him most of the time while he walked his dog, the one you now knew was named Gold.
Although you had talked in class more than once —or well, you had talked to him more than once—, you were not friends, and hence, neither of you got the guts to come close to one another to try and start small talk. However, that didn’t stop either of you from staring at each other when you were not looking. Sometimes you would catch each other staring, though, and you couldn’t stop an amused smile from curving up your lips when you remembered one particular time he had choked on air when you smiled at him after catching his eyes being fixed on you, just like he had choked earlier this year when you had asked him if you could sit next to him in class. It seemed to be a habit of his by now, at least when it came to you.
“I thought you were just judging me over the way I was always sniffing the flowers and taking pictures of them…” you admitted, for although a part of you did want to believe he was into you back then, you couldn’t really bring yourself to fully believe it.
He pulled you back by your shoulders so he could give you a questioning look. “Judging you with heart eyes?”
“Yah!” you called him out, feeling your cheeks burn.
Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I really just couldn’t take my eyes away from you, you looked so hypnotized by them and it was the cutest to me”.
“Is that why you thought about secretly giving me flowers?” you couldn’t help but ask.
He nodded, lowering his head. “I know it would’ve been easier to just talk to you, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. Fuck, I even was a nervous wreck this year when you first talked to me,” a breathy laugh escaped his mouth. “So I just… thought I could do that for a while until I got the guts to confess. Although I guess a part of me really wanted you to find out, because whilst looking for different kinds flowers I came across tiger lilies and, apart from finding out they were my birth flower, their meaning just fit so well with what I wanted to do and I just—”
“What do they mean?” you asked.
“It’s cheesy” he let you know with pleading eyes, silently asking you not to make him say it out loud. “Like, really cheesy”.
“Come on,” you begged with pouty lips, getting a hold of his hands. “I’ll look it up on the internet either way if you don’t tell me”.
He shook his head in both amusement and embarrassment altogether, knowing well enough you would do just that if he did not comply right then. So, biting down on his bottom lip, he said: “Please, love me”.
Your eyebrows furrowed in clear confusion. “Huh?”
“They mean ‘please, love me’” he clarified at the sight of your puzzled face, and your heart skipped a beat as you froze in your place. “I told you it was cheesy”.
“No, no, it’s not that. I just… is that what…” you pressed your lips together as you tried to compose yourself. “Did you… do you mean that?” it was now his turn to look confused, tilting his head to the side because of it. “You want me to love you?”
And although to you it seemed like a complicated question to answer, to him, on the other hand, it wasn’t. So, nodding his head immediately, he let you know that was exactly what he wanted.
“Back then, even when we were teenagers and barely ever talked, and I knew nothing about love, I was convinced I was in love with you… even if I knew it was one sided. And now that I got to be your friend and then your boyfriend, I…” he took in a deep breath, staring down to your hands in his before his eyes went back to yours. “I know more than ever that I love you. I love you so much, Y/N. And I know loving someone takes time, and I don’t want to push you or rush you at all, but if you could just try and find it in you to love me back someday, I—”
The small chuckle that abandoned your lips caused his mouth to shut close in an instant, not understanding what was so funny about his words and for a split second there feeling uneasy. However, all his worries went away when you cupped his face in your hands, staring at his lips for a brief second before your eyes went up to fix on his.
“I already love you, you dummy”.
Not giving him time to process your truthful words, if anything, knowing it would take him a while to do so, you leaned in to steal a small kiss from his lips, pecking them ever so tenderly a couple of times until he smiled, finally understanding the meaning of your words and placing his hands on the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away as he sucked on your bottom lip.
“Say it again?” he pleaded in between kisses, not being able to erase the huge smile on his face.
You chuckled teasingly. “Nope”.
“Yah,” he let go fully of your mouth. “You’re always speaking nonstop and now that I for once ask you to say something, you won’t?”
“Exactly” you smiled brightly, giggling when he squinted his eyes at you and leaning in to peck his mouth a couple more times. “I love you, bun” you cooed, being done with your teasing way earlier than you had planned to.
And it was the way you loved him back, along with the way you had gone back to call him that pet name he was the softest about, what had him giving you one of those bunny smiles of his that made you come up with that name to begin with.
“You won’t say it back?” you wondered, batting your lashes for him to take a hint.
Nevertheless, he shook his head no. “I already said it twice, we’re even”.
“Yah!” you lightly shoved him off, only to have him standing right back in between your legs like he had been during your entire conversation. “Jeongguk-ah~”
“Yes, baby?” he played innocent.
“Tell me you love me” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest.
Letting out a light laugh, he cupped your face and gave your mouth a chaste kiss. “I love you, petal”.
You smiled sweetly, allowing him to plant a few more kisses on your mouth before you pressed your lips to the spot under his jawline, resting your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you once more.
“You should’ve confessed back then” you lamented, looking up to his face yet only being met by the sight of his chin. “Why didn’t you?”
He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head and tightening the hold of his arms around your waist.
There it was, the most important question out of them all. The one he had came here to talk about, yet he had completely forgotten about as he had gotten caught up on making up with you instead. And now that things were finally good between you two, he couldn’t help but fear bringing up said person and what she had done would make things worse all over again.
“I was going to” he let you know. “That was the plan all along”.
Your eyebrows knitted together, sitting up so you could fix your questioning eyes on his troubled expression. “Then why didn’t you?” you repeated your previous question.
He sighed heavily, causing your body to tense up, as you knew right then you wouldn’t like what he was about to tell you. “Sooyeon…”
“What?” you pushed it when he stopped right after mentioning her name. “What did she do?!”
He bit the inside of his cheek. Although he had found out about everything a few days ago and had gotten some time to come to terms with it, it still hurt just as much. All the lost time and what it could have been, all the possibilities that could’ve come with having been with you as a couple ever since your last year of high school, still made his blood boil.
“She found out I was your flower boy one morning and she told me I was wasting my time…”
“What?!” your loud tone was a mix of both worry and anger. “Jeongguk, what did she tell you?”
He shrugged, a weak smile curving up his lips. “Does it matter anymore?”
“Of course it does” you argued. “It does to me”.
Letting out another sigh, knowing well enough he could not avoid this anymore, as you deserved to know the whole story just like he did, he grabbed your hands and gently held them in his — partially wanting to let you know it was alright, partially wanting to feel like it was alright. “She said you had told her you hoped it wasn’t me because you would have to give me a chance out of pity,” the look in your eyes right then made his heart hurt. “Because I was not popular, and I barely ever talked, so you would always be bored around me yet would have to pretend like you were not…”
“Bun, I never said that. I neve—”
“I know” he cut you off before you could freak out completely. “Petal, I know that now”.
“No, but she lied!” you raised your voice for him to hear you out. “I’m never bored around you, you know that, right? And the few times we got to talk back then I was never bored either, I…”
“Baby, I know…” he soothed you, cupping your face and pressing his forehead on yours. “I know. It’s okay”.
“Guk, I had feelings for you back then” you confessed, feeling your voice break.
He took in a shaky breath. Somehow, hearing that coming from you had hurt more than finding out from someone else like he had a few days ago. “It’s okay”.
And it was. It really was. You were together now. Somehow, you had managed to find your way back to each other years later and didn’t have to know what your lives were like without each other. However, the fact that it was alright, it didn’t mean it did not hurt. Because it did hurt. Thinking you could’ve been together ever since three years ago. How you wouldn’t have dated that asshole who broke your heart, and how he wouldn’t have gone three years of his life believing he was not enough. All of that, was not something the two of you could easily let go of.
“So all this time... you really believed I had said that about you? Even when we were friends, when we became a couple…” your voice sounded more broken by the second. “You let me back into your life even when I had supposedly said all those things back then?”
“Call me delusional, but I still really wanted to be close to you” he sheepishly admitted. That’s how he knew he would always have a soft spot for you, no matter what. “And anyway, baby, in my mind that was the high school you. You didn’t seem like the person who said those things back then at all when I got to actually meet you” he reassured you, then bitterly adding: “Now I can see why”.
You breathed uneasily. “You’re too good to me…”
“Yah, Y/N” he called you out immediately. “I told you, we’re not doing this”.
“But I really don’t deserve y—”
Your words were cut off by his lips softly pressing down on yours. Just like you would always call him out whenever he thought less of himself, hating it when he did that, he, too, hated hearing you say stuff like that about yourself.
“It doesn’t matter anymore” he whispered against your lips.
“Yes, it does…” you pouted. “She lied to both of us and we believed her. We could’ve been together ever since...”
“I know…”
“Three years, Guk. We lost three fucking years” you reminded him. “What if I hadn’t asked you to be my partner in the project this year, I mean, I wouldn’t even have you in my life and all because of her”.
“I know” he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his words this time. Because he knew very well what you were feeling, for he had felt the exact same a few days ago. “But can we just… forget about it?”
“No, I want to beat the shit out of her” your determined, poisonous tone, could do no other than earn a loud giggle from him.
“Do that later?” he pressed his lips to the crook of your neck. “She already took enough time away from us, let’s not let her get in between us anymore. We’re making up now, it’s just us two...”
It was now your turn to giggle, relaxing under his loving touch and nodding your head in agreement before you leaned in to briefly press your mouth to his jaw. “We’ll just have to catch up on all those lost years then”.
He laughed under his breath, cupping your face once more as he leaned in just enough for his lips to faintly brush yours. “I guess we’ll just have to do that”.
Enjoying the sound of that, you puckered your lips up right as his soft ones came in contact with them, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck so you could deepen the kiss. Humming contentedly when his tongue made its way inside your mouth, you felt his hands let go of your face and wander down your back, holding onto your hips to bring you even closer to the edge of the kitchen counter, at which you reacted by wrapping your legs around his hips to help him create the friction between your bodies he was asking for.
You found yourself letting go of his neck to dig your hands inside his sweatshirt instead, smiling coyly at the way you felt goosebumps form on his skin. You had discovered not long ago he was quite ticklish on his sides, and you absolutely loved faintly running your hands along them just to get that reaction out of him.
He breathed heavily when your fingertips made their way up his abs, letting his hands go down lower from their current spot on your back and placing them on your ass instead, giving it a light squeeze as he took advantage on said action to grind his hips against your center.
“Mm…” you let out quietly, finding out just then how much you had missed feeling him close like that.
“You think they’ll be home soon?” he asked, referring to your two chaotic friends, as he peppered a trail of kisses down to your neck.
“They must be just getting started on drinking” you let him know, a smile curving up your lips at the sensation of his wet ones sucking on your skin. “Why? You got something in mind?”
The chuckle that left his mouth tickled your skin, feeling one last kiss being placed on it before his lips were briefly back on yours. “Only if you’re up for it”.
Your lips parted in a bright smile, without another word, shoving him lightly out of the way so you could place your feet on the ground — gently taking his hand in yours and having his adoring eyes stuck to you as you guided him over to your room.
Once inside, and as you let go of his hold so you could turn around to lock the door just in case your friends decided to come home earlier than expected, his eyes fell on the multiple tiger lilies he had left on your seat over the last two days, along with the bouquet of flowers he had sent over to your place earlier that day, all of them carefully lying on your desk by one side of the bed. Smiling at the fact that you had kept them all —as he had been worried you would’ve thrown them away when he first sent them—, he turned around towards you right as you were done with the door, cupping your face immediately and bringing his lips to meet yours in a quite needy kiss.
Walking you backwards towards the bed as he refused to break the hot contact between your mouths, he helped you lie down on it as he crawled over your figure, parting your legs open with his knee so he could lie in between them — a light laugh of his resonating against your mouth when your hands were back into his sweatshirt and the trace of your fingertips tickled his sides.
Wanting more of you as well, he found himself digging his hands inside your t-shirt just like he had grown fond of ever since that one time in his room, letting them make their way up to your breasts so he could tease them a little bit. Only, this time, he was met not by the thin fabric of your bra, but with your soft skin instead — feeling your nipples instantly harden at his sudden touch as a small hum abandoned your lips.
Not being able to hide his —very pleasant— surprise, he withdrew his lips from yours; wide eyes staring at you before they travelled down to your still covered breasts.
At his quite cute reaction, you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “I’m wearing pyjamas, is it really that surprising?”
It shouldn’t be. He knew that very well, considering you had not once worn a bra whenever you slept over at each other’s. However, being so caught up in the moment, he had seemed to forget about that altogether.
Deciding to say nothing, he leaned down instead to trap your bottom lip in between his again, sucking lightly on it as his hands squeezed your breasts in such a way that left you wanting more in a heartbeat.
“Mm… fuck” you moaned ever so quietly when one of his thumbs teased your nipple.
Smiling at your reaction, he moved his kisses all the way down from your mouth to your collarbone, feeling your chest heavily move up and down when his mouth came close to it. Firmly placing his hands on the curve under your breasts, he lifted your body up with ease to adjust you up enough on the mattress so that your still covered breasts were now right under his face.
Not giving you a second to process what had just happened, he lowered his face to your chest, pressing open mouth kisses on the fabric that was still covering it, and getting another moan out of you when his hand went back to teasing one of your breasts under your t-shirt, while his hot mouth sucked on your other one over it.
“Guk, fuck” you gasped, feeling goosebumps form on your skin when his lips travelled down to your bellybutton and his hands abandoned your chest to tug at the end of your top instead.
Biting down on his lip, he glanced up to you before doing anything else. “Is it okay if I?”
Although his question had been left incomplete, you answered him with an eager nod of your head, wanting nothing but to feel his wet mouth on your sensitive buds already.
Tongue wetting his lips in anticipation, he lifted your t-shirt over your chest — leaving it still on yet completely exposing you to his eyes. And it was the way his eyes fixed on your naked chest like the world had just stopped, what managed to make you nervous enough to bring your arms up to cover them.
“I would’ve worn something hotter for you to look at if I had known this was going to happen” you couldn’t help but joke your way out of it.
Jeongguk laughed lightly, leaning down to peck your neck a couple of times, trying to ease your sudden nervousness. “I don’t think anything could ever top this”.
Because although he was sure getting to see you in lingerie would be one hell of a sight, he loved this view the most. He loved looking at you, with absolutely nothing on the way of your body and his eyes.
And just like that, his teasing yet genuine words were the last push you needed to relax under both his touch and stare, allowing him to gently grab your wrists and remove your arms from off your chest. Receiving a small nod from you when his questioning eyes fixed on yours for a second, he planted two short kisses to your mouth before they were back on your chest.
Your back curved up with the first lap of his tongue on one of your nipples, feeling your breathing become heavier when his lips wrapped around it without any kind of warning.
“Jeongguk…” you moaned in what sounded like a plea.
Wanting to hear more of his name coming out as one of your pretty moans, he swirled his tongue harder around your bud, right as his thumb teased the one he had left unattended until then - not many seconds going by before he moved his mouth over to it so he could tease it as well.
“Fuck,” you gasped when his mouth sucked on your skin. “Jeongguk”.
Catching on the way you had pushed your hips slightly up to try and get some friction out of his already hardened length, he found himself giving you one slow thrust that had you both moaning whilst wanting more. Instead of grinding on you again, however, he let go of your breast and let his hand wander down to your pants instead, palming your already wet core through them before he fidgeted with their waistband.
“Please,” you begged.
“Hm?” he hummed against your jaw, as he placed a sweet kiss to it before going to your lips.
“Your fingers” you managed to blurt out, feeling like you were losing your mind over the way his long fingers were now teasingly digging inside your pants. “Jeongguk, please”.
Although he found out right then that he loved hearing you beg, he wanted the most to make you feel good, which is why he was quick to comply with your wishes. Palming you now over your damp panties, he felt your body shake at the contact — a gasp escaping your mouth when his fingers made the fabric aside and they started rubbing circle motions on your folds.
You felt warmer and way more wet than he had expected, and he felt the sudden urge to run his tongue along your folds to get a taste of your arousal. However, right then, he knew what you wanted, what you needed, were his fingers inside of you. So, he did just that.
“Ah, fuck” you threw your head harder against the mattress when one of his fingers made its way into you.
“You’re so tight...” he breathed out in amazement, feeling himself get harder at the thought of what it would be like to feel your walls tightening around his cock instead.
Slowly shifting his finger inside your responsive walls, he focused on taking in your facial expressions to try and figure out what pace you liked the most — sticking with a faster one after one particular moan had escaped your lips right after he speeded up his pistoning motions.
“Like that?” he asked nevertheless, planting a lingering kiss to your chest.
“Yes” you managed to blurt out, grinding your hips against his finger, being desperate for more.
Catching up on that, he added another digit, hissing at the way your walls had seemed to tighten even more around them. Opening and closing his fingers in scissoring motions as he tried to stretch you out so he could move around with ease, he felt your breathing become heavier by the second, letting out a choked moan when he experimented by curling his digits against your walls.
“Oh, fuck” you whimpered when he curled them once more, managing to hit with them that one spot that could make you come undone in a matter of minutes.
“Feels good?” he asked, admiring your factions as you were too immersed in your own pleasure to remember how to speak.
“Mhm…” you answered with a simple sound instead, mewling when his motions sped up their pace. “So good”.
“Fuck,” he blurted when he felt your juices running down your slit. “Baby, you’re dripping”.
“Jeongguk, don’t stop” you begged when you felt his fingers no longer moving inside of you, desperately grabbing his wrist when you felt them start to pull out. “Don’t stop”.
He reassured you with an intoxicating kiss that made you dizzy. “I wanna eat you out”.
Your breath hitched at his low words, feeling your walls tighten when you opened your eyes to meet his hungry ones. And you didn’t have to even think before you were nodding your head. You needed him, that was all you knew. No matter if it were his fingers, his mouth or his cock, you were desperate for him right then, and would let him have you however he wanted.
Kissing your lips one more time, he felt you whimper against his mouth when his fingers pulled out of you, causing you to close your legs as you tried to replace the way they felt with the friction your thighs could provide you with. It didn’t last long, though, for Jeongguk was quick to pull them open once more so he could remove your pyjama pants along with your panties, licking his lips in anticipation at the perfect sight he got of your dripping folds.
“Fuck, you’re so hot” he rasped, causing your cheeks to burn and another whimper escape your mouth when his thumb brushed faintly over your clit.
“Jeongguk, please” begging seemed to be your only way of communication that night, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the hell out of it.
Pulling you closer to him, he placed your thighs over his shoulders before he finally brought his face up to your heat. Worrying for a split second there, as he was not entirely sure as to what was the right way to do this, he decided to go with his instinct —just like he had done seconds ago when his fingers were inside of you— and begin by slowly sliding his tongue through your folds. The way your body had trembled and a moan of yours had reached his ears as soon as he did, let him know he was doing well.
Delving his tongue in your slit, you instinctively reacted by pulling your hips slightly away from him at the pleasure his ministrations were giving you, and Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to his mouth once more, sucking on your wet heat before he pushed his tongue inside.
“Oh, God” you whimpered when he started fucking you with his tongue. “J-Jeongguk, yes”.
Moaning loudly when he pushed a finger back into you, you grabbed onto one of your breasts with one hand, as your other one travelled down to entangle your fingers in his already messy hair, earning a muffled moan from him when you pulled lightly at it.
Curling his finger inside you the way he had found out drove you crazy, his mouth let go of your heat, planting a small kiss on it before he licked his way up your folds and stopped by your clit. Although he was not experienced in all this at all, he did know stimulating that small button of yours could work wonders, and he was willing to give it a try. The second he swirled his tongue around it and you cried out in pleasure, he knew it wouldn’t take much longer before you reached your climax if he kept applying pressure on that particular spot.
Tightening his hold on one of your thighs to keep you from moving away as your body writhed beneath him, he added a second finger inside you, sucking on your clit before his tongue came in contact with it again.
“Mm—ah, Jeongguk. Fuck” you cried incoherently, curling your toes as you felt your climax getting closer. “Fuck, d-don’t stop”.
Feeling your walls tighten around his fingers, he could tell as well that you were close. Pushing his digits deeper into you, he managed to hit once more that one spot you needed him the most.
“Right there” you let him know, curving your back when he followed your words and his fingers brushed over it once more. “Oh, righ—fuck!” you whimpered.
“Let go, baby” he rasped, replacing his mouth on your clit with his thumb and pressing down on it in circle motions. “Cum for me”.
The mere sound of that, along with the way his mouth had came in contact with your folds as his fingers kept fucking into you, were all you needed to finally come undone under his touch, crying out his name one last time as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm.
Closing your eyes and letting the aftershocks take over your body, you moaned lightly at the feel of your boyfriend’s tongue running along your slit, tasting the juices that were dripping down on it and licking you clean before he made his way back next to you, hovering over your figure and kissing you hungrily yet somehow gently. One of his thumbs caressed your hip as his other one came in contact with your chin, drawing circular motions on your skin as you kissed him back — eyes still closed as you felt your body finally steadying.
“Was that alright?” he asked, planting a lingering kiss to your mouth.
Opening your eyes, you looked at him with disbelief written all over them. “It was amazing” you reassured him with a smile nevertheless, allowing his mouth to come in contact with yours once more.
Pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his neck, you felt something hard poke one of your sides, causing you to undo the kiss and stare down to the outline of his hardened member against the loose fabric of his pants.
“Want me to help you with that again?” you teasingly raised one of your eyebrows, earning a small lip bite from him at the memories of how good you had made him feel not too long ago.
Although it took him a second, he nodded his head. A smile curved up the corners of your lips at that, only for it to be replaced with a frown when his hand stopped you from reaching for his cock.
“Not like that” he shook his head.
You pouted in confusion. “Then how…”
Wetting his lips with his tongue, he leaned down to brush his mouth with yours. “I want to fuck you”.
You felt a wave of heat hit your body at his words, for although he had just seen and touched pretty much all of you, and you had just offered to suck him off, you had thought that would be as far as you’d get, just like that one time in his room when it had led to nothing else.
“W-What?” your voice betrayed you by stuttering a bit.
“I want to fuck you” he repeated, sounding just as determined as he had before. “You don’t want to?”
“No, I want to!” you were quick to clarify. Fuck, you wanted to. “It’s just… You sure you want this? With me?”
“I’ve wanted to have you like this for so long, Y/N. I could not be any more sure” his words sent shivers up your spine. “Besides, sorry to remind you, petal, but you are my girlfriend, so…”
“That I am, huh?” you played along, pulling him down by the neck of his sweatshirt so your lips could meet his. “Then I guess I’ll be good to you tonight and let you have your way with me”.
Smiling contentedly at your words, he wasted no time in crashing his mouth on yours, burying one of his hands under your t-shirt to give one of your breasts a tight squeeze before he tugged at the end of the fabric — eyebrows furrowing slightly and puzzled eyes opening when you held your top down by pressing your arms to your sides, not allowing him to pull it up so he could take it off.
“Wha—”
“It’s unfair you’re about to leave me naked while you’re still fully dressed, don’t you think?” you pointed out with pouty lips.
Rolling his eyes in amusement, he sat up on the mattress so he could take his sweatshirt off, being followed by you right after, as you helped him get rid of it with a smile on your face. Now, you had seen him shirtless once, when you were having food in his room one evening and he stained his t-shirt with soda, proceeding to change into another one right in front of you, but you had seen little to nothing of his torso, as he had turned almost fully around as he did so. And hence now, you could not hide the hungry look on your face as you stared at his toned chest.
“My eyes are up here” he teased you with an amused smile, causing you to send a playful glare his way.
“You didn’t exactly look into my eyes either when you pulled my t-shirt up, so…”
He chuckled at your snarky remark, leaning in to connect his mouth with yours and then tugging once more at the end of your top, just like he had done a minute before. This time, however, you pulled your arms up, letting go of his mouth so he could get rid of that one last piece of clothing of yours that was bothering him so much.
Not wasting any more time, you helped him out of the rest of his clothes as well, giggling against his lips when they needingly crashed on yours once more, with one swift movement lying you down on the mattress as your curious, wandering hands became familiar with each other’s bodies.
A raspy moan escaped Jeongguk’s throat when your hand stroked his member, being followed by a choked one when you tightly wrapped your hand around it, gently moving it up and down his length.
“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed heavily, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he unconsciously thrusted into your hand. “I need you”.
You smiled at the sound of his begging words, leaving a small kiss on his naked shoulder before you released his member from your hold and pushed him on his back, letting him adjust into a more comfortable position as he rested his back against the headboard, before you sunk your knees down on the mattress on each side of his lap — his hands immediately resting on the curve of your waist and a shaky breath coming out of his mouth at the feel of your wet core rubbing ever so faintly against his cock.
“You sure you want this?” you asked.
He eagerly nodded his head, pulling you back to meet his swollen lips. “I want you so bad”.
Feeling a wave of heat rushing through your body at that, you nodded your head, pecking his lips one more time before you reached for your nightstand, opening its small drawer and taking a condom out of it. Going back to your boyfriend, you were met with his rather taken aback expression.
“You knew this was going to happen or…” he questioned with a raised brow and a teasing smile.
You shook your head as a shy smile curved up your lips. “The two idiots I live with filled my drawer with them when we started staying over at each other’s regularly” you explained with a roll of eyes. “They also left a box full of them in my closet”.
Jeongguk laughed wholeheartedly at that. “Well, that’s good to hear. They will come in handy”.
Laughing along with him at his joyful remark, you opened the small envelope in your hands, pulling slightly back so you were no longer hovering over his member and could slide the condom on it with ease — feeling Jeongguk’s breath hitch at both the unfamiliar feel of the thin latex around his length, and the familiar one of your hands on it. Staring back at him once you were done, you stole a sweet kiss from his lips, hearing him moan against your mouth when your hand was once more wrapped around his cock, pumping it a couple more times as you aligned it with your entrance.
And then, locking eyes with him for a second, you kissed him slowly. As slowly as you had started to sink down on him.
Letting go of the kiss as he involuntarily tilted his head back, Jeongguk let out a loud moan, immediately getting lost into what was without a doubt the most pleasure he had ever felt. And he knew right away that your warm, wet walls wrapping tightly around his member, was something he could easily become addicted to.
Staring lovingly at the way his eyes remained closed and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but moan as well as you pushed down lower on him, feeling your walls stretching as you tried to take his entire length.
“Fuck” he rasped when he was completely inside of you.
Tightening his hold on your hips, he pulled you slightly closer to him on his lap, not being able to hold back a blissful chuckle at the way the friction he had just created made him feel.
“What is it?” you wondered with a smile of your own when he leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder.
“It feels so good” he let you know with another chuckle.
Joining him on his sudden outburst of joy, you let out a light laugh just as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your shoulder, loving to be the one who got to share this moment with him — to be the one he wanted to share this moment with. Pressing a small kiss to the top of his head, you placed two fingers under his chin to push it up and have him look at you. Once he did, you leaned in to steal a lingering kiss.
“I love you” you said for the third time that night.
He smiled brightly, bringing his lips up to yours and locking them in a slow kiss. “I love you more”.
Opening your mouth to fight him on that, what came out of it instead was a choked moan after he pulled your hips down on his cock.
“Jeongguk, fuck” you let your forehead fall to his shoulder when he pushed his hips up to yours.
Slowly rolling your hips, you met him right as he thrusted up on you once more, causing a small moan to make its way out of his mouth. “Mm… baby…”
With his hands firmly grabbing your hips, you let him guide the pace as you rode him, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your forehead on his as the two of you grew used to the rhythm he was leading. Closing your eyes, you let your heavy breathings mix as they were now, along with a few moans here and there, the only sound filling your silent bedroom.
“O-Oh, fuck” you gasped when he pulled you down harder on him, somehow managing to push deeper inside of you.
You leaned slightly back when he repeated said action, tilting your head back as well and then humming quietly when you felt his warm lips wrap around one of your breasts, slowly sucking on your nipple, as you had just given him the perfect opportunity to do just that, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pulling you closer to him as you kept rolling your hips at the same pace he had created for you before.
“Mh—ah! Fuck” he moaned when you pushed your legs up, enough for only half of his cock to be inside of you, to later take it all in again. “Y/N…”
Doing it again, you couldn’t stop the whimper that had just abandoned your mouth as his length had managed to reach that soft spot of yours. Needing more of him, you sped up the pace of your grinding against his hips, feeling him finally let go of your sensitive bud to let his sweaty forehead rest in the crook of your neck as his moans became louder by the second.
“Wait, wait” he demanded breathily, placing his hands on your hips and firmly holding them down so you would stop moving. “Stop”.
“What’s wrong?” you worried, doing as told in a heartbeat.
He shook his head no, quietly letting you know nothing was really wrong, as he buried his face deeper in the crook of your neck and closed his eyes while he tried his best to catch his breath. “Feels too good” he admitted in a raspy voice. “Don’t wanna cum yet”.
You giggled under your breath, finding silent joy on the fact that he hadn’t asked you to stop because he wasn’t enjoying what you were doing, but because he was liking it too much.
Lowering your head to his shoulder, you planted a small kiss on it. “You can cum if you want” you let him know, pressing another soothing kiss to the crook of his neck. “I understand”.
He shook his head no, letting out a heavy sigh as his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. Maybe it was his ego, or just the fact that he really wanted to make you feel good too, maybe both, what made him refuse to let himself go right then, no matter how bad he wanted to. No matter how hard it was not to.
Smiling sweetly at him, you brought one of your hands up to his damp hair while your other one caressed his back, entangling your fingers in his dark locks as you waited for him to come down from the high he had been about to reach. Letting out a sigh when he felt like he could finally breathe again, he placed his hands on your back to pull you closer — lips looking for yours when your naked chest pressed on his.
Kissing him hard, you opened your mouth for his tongue to meet yours after it had traced your bottom lip, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and trying your best not to roll your hips like you were dying to. Although you didn’t have to hold back for much longer, for with one last kiss and with his warm hands still holding you down on his cock, he pushed it deeper inside of you.
“Fuck” you gasped at the sudden stimulation, taking it as your cue to start moving as well.
“F—Y/N” he moaned when your hips met his in the middle, as they pushed into you once more.
Helping you lead the pace once again, he held you by the waist, digging his fingers into your hot skin and deciding right there, as you moaned his name and your walls tightened around his cock, that he wanted to take over from then on. So, with a swift movement, you were now under him as he laid your back on the mattress — a light moan escaping your lips when he pulled out of you to make you more comfortable on the bed, immediately becoming whiny as you missed his whole length inside of you.
“No, don’t stop fucking me” you pouted, breath hitching when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to where he was sitting down on the mattress. “Jeongguk, please”.
He smiled at both the sound and sight of you right then, really enjoying them one hell of a lot. It was your messy hair, swollen lips and naked chest that moved up and down as you breathed heavily, along with the neediness in your voice as you were begging for him once more, what made it easy for him to decide he liked being in control.
Catching your bottom lip in his mouth as he adjusted himself in between your legs, he heard you beg one more time against his lips. However, just as you did, he felt one of your hands desperately go down to your center so you could feel something inside of you. Only you didn’t get to, for his hand grabbed your wrist right before your fingers could find their way inside, managing to grab your other one as well and pin them over your head as he pushed his hips down enough for the head of his cock to align with your wet center.
“I’m the one fucking you tonight, petal”.
You moaned at the sound of his words being murmured against your neck — the way such sweet pet name had been said with such a lustful tone right then, making you somehow even more needy for him.
“Please,” you breathed out, overwhelmed by the way his mouth teased the sensitive skin of your neck and he rubbed his cock against your core, not quite pushing into you yet. “Jeongguk, please. I need you”.
“What was that?” he wondered teasingly.
“I need you” you repeated. “Jeongguk, please. Please fuck m—ah!” your head was thrown back in pleasure when he slammed his entire length into you, just the way you were so badly begging for.
Hungrily kissing your mouth, he muffled the moans that came out of it with each thrust of his hips — letting go of your lips as a low groan made its way out of his throat when your walls wrapped tighter than he had felt them do that evening, as you were getting closer to reach your high.
Letting his forehead fall to your shoulder, he muffled a cry against your skin as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your walls tightened once more against his cock, knowing right then he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.
“Harder” you pleaded breathily, arching your back as he wasted no time in complying. “F-Fuck, Jeongguk. Ah!”
“Y/N” he rasped your name, feeling his inevitable release about to hit. “Fuck, I’m g-gonna cum”.
Not being able to form any kind of coherent sentence right then, you settled for an eager nod of your head to let him know it was okay. Digging your nails on the wet skin of his back, you scratched your way down on it when he once again managed to find that one soft spot of yours that had you crying out in a second.
“Right there,” you desperately let him know, feeling your legs start to give up when he kept hitting it with each of his thrusts. “Fuck, right there”.
“A-Ah, Y/N, I’m—” he stumbled upon his own words, not being able to hold on anymore given how much tighter you were getting now around him. “Mm… I’m gon—ah!”
Groaning one last time, he let himself go like he had fought so hard not to — your pulsating walls around his cock finally driving him over the edge.
Although overwhelmed by the intense wave of pleasure running through his body, beginning to feel dizzy even, he did not slump down on you to catch his breath like he so badly needed to. Instead, he kept riding his own orgasm — his thrusts becoming sloppier yet rougher as he greedily tried to drive you over the edge, too.
And it was only a matter of seconds before you did.
“J-Jeongguk, I’m—ahh!” you cried out one last time, feeling your shaky legs give up as you came undone beneath him.
Helping you ride out your orgasm as well, Jeongguk whimpered at the overstimulation, finally letting his body slump down on yours and burying his face on your neck, as he felt his body tremble with each spasm of your walls around him. Feeling his hot, heavy breath hit your sweaty neck as the two of you desperately tried to catch your breath, you entangled once more your fingers on the hair at the back of his head — fingertips ever so tenderly moving in circular motions in a soothing way.
Closing your eyes for a couple of seconds, you felt his thumb caress one of your sides, later having you opening your eyes when he pressed two brief kisses to the crook of your neck and a breathy laugh of his was soon to follow right after.
“What’s so amusing?” you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curve up when another chuckle of his reached your ears.
“That was amazing” he confessed, causing your face to burn as your smile grew wider. Pressing one of his arms down on the mattress, he held his body up so he could lock his eyes with yours. “Was it okay for you?”
You bit your bottom lip, shyly looking away for a split second before your eyes focused back on his. “Jeon Jeongguk,” you called his name in a serious tone.
“Hm?”
“You made me cum twice” you reminded him, loving the sight of his already flushed cheeks turning even more pink than they already were. “I think that speaks for itself”.
He let out a shy laugh, tilting your chin up as he brought his lips down to yours and kissing you sweetly for a good couple of seconds, later moving his lips over to press an open mouth kiss to your cheek before he finally pulled out of you. Removing the condom from his member, he crawled to the edge of the bed and reached for the small bin you kept under your desk next to your bed, bringing it closer to him and throwing the used latex into it before he went back to lie on his stomach next to you — blissfully letting you kiss his lips once more like you had just reached up to.
“I’ll get better at it” he promised, earning a quiet giggle from you.
“Well, we do have three years to make up for, so I guess we’ll both get a lot of practice” you pointed out coyly.
“And we don’t have to worry about running out of condoms anytime soon” he reminded you, amusement clear in his voice.
Throwing your head back on the mattress, you allowed a throaty laugh to escape your mouth, later looking back at him and bringing your hand up to cup one of his cheeks. Gently caressing it a couple of times, you puckered your lips up for him to come closer and cut the space between your mouth — smiling softly when he complied in a heartbeat, slowly sucking on your bottom lip.
“I love you” he mumbled on your lips, loving the way he was finally able to say it freely, knowing you felt the same, like he had been aching you to all along.
“I love you more” you repeated his previous answer with a smile.
Kissing your lips chastely, he shook his head no, tilting his head towards the flowers that were taking over your desk. “Those are proof that I love you more”.
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Those are proof that you’ve loved me for longer, it’s got nothing to do with the amount of it”.
“Mhm…” he nodded his head, letting you know with both the tone of his voice and the look on his eyes that you were not convincing him. “Whatever works for you, petal” his lips turned into a smile as he let his back slump down on the bed.
“Yah,” you gently shoved him off, feeling your heart skip a beat when you heard him laugh.
Pulling you to his chest by wrapping an arm around you, he planted a kiss to your forehead. Although you had sighed contentedly after resting your face on his chest, he didn’t miss the way your mind was quite absent right then.
“What’s wrong?” his eyebrows knitted together, growing somewhat more confused after following with his eyes to where yours were staring at and having them fall on the flowers.
“Nothing” you smiled, unconsciously running your fingers along his chest. “I just wish these particular ones would last forever”.
Smiling as he adoringly stared at you, he hugged you closer to his body. “I can get you all the flowers you want”.
At that, your head snapped up so you could lock eyes with him. The mischievous smile that had just formed on your mouth as you cockily raised one of your eyebrows, letting him know right away he was about to regret what he had just said. “You’ll be like my flower daddy then?”
Yup, there it was, the regret.
“Anddd, you ruined it” he lamented.
Letting his head fall back down on the mattress, he closed his eyes as he tried his best to fight the smile that was threatening with taking over his face, knowing he would fail miserably at it when he heard you chuckle next to him — finally giving in to it and laughing as well as you peppered open mouth kisses around his face.
Although popular, loud, chaotic, bubbly, impulsive as hell, and just the complete opposite to what he was, he could not be any happier it was you the one his heart had chosen to fall irretrievably in love with.
#bts#bts imagines#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook#bts smut#jungkook smut#kpop#kpop fanfic#bts fanfic#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts social media au#jungkook social media au#bts x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jungkook
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i have a mad thomas x reader request where reader is forced to marry thomas (idk how just-) and is disgusted about it but eventually ends up liking him.(? idk how to explain myself:’)
No one look at me,,,,,,,,,,also this is heavily inspired by the Scarlet Letter and was supposed to be a tad darker but I copped out (also someone asked for a pregnant reader recently so this + that = this fic)
A Lie They Would Believe (Mad Thomas x Fem!Reader)
Warnings: dark themes, 1600 standards, values, and laws, affairs/cheating, ex-relationship with the pastor is mentioned, Thomas is Thomas, mentions of drinking, webs of lies, public humiliation, AFAB and Fem reader, pregnant reader, pre-marital pregnancy solved a la shotgun marriage, twisted win-win situation turns into love?, slow burn(?),
Word Count: 3.7k
You could accept your punishment with a turned cheek, you told yourself over and over again.
You could stare out at the audience of towns people, even as the sun beat on your face. You could stare out into the angry faces of the elders, into the pitying faces of your friends. Into the ashamed faces of your parents. But, you could not look at Cyrus Miller.
You'd missed your blood two months ago. You'd begged, prayed, everyday that it would come. But, the only thing that came was the morning sickness. You'd tried to hide it, tried to think of what to do. But, when you placed your hand over your stomach, you couldn't bring yourself to find the hag in the forest. And, when your mother held your spotless, white sheets in your face, you'd crumbled. You confessed in the privacy of your room as if you were confessing in church. You told her everything.
Well, almost.
"Tell us his name!" Cyrus said, a voice that you couldn't force to fall into the background. "Tell us the name of your accomplice and you shall suffer no more." He said, and you wanted to believe him. You let your eyes close for a moment, but your lips did not move. Your mouth did not open. "Tell us the father's name, so that your baby will not be born a bastard!" He said, and his hand reached out to grab your arm. His grip was strong and tight, unlike the caresses you'd become so accustomed to with him. While his words begged you to say the name, his name, the action spoke differently. You peeled open your eyes and looked up at him, at his raven hair and kind face. His dark, soft eyes. Tears pricked the corners of your own eyes, hard and glassy as you looked up at him. But, you were silent. Even as some of the townspeople yelled for you to confess.
But, how could you tell them that it was your persecutor who was the father of your child? That your pastor, the leader of this town, had sinned so egregiously? He had a wife, a daughter. You'd known both of those things when you'd fallen for him, but it was harder to ignore in the harsh sunlight. When both of them stood in front of you.
You knew you'd have to face punishment. Sex before marriage was a crime after all, completely forbidden. To think they didn't know you were an adulterer also. You didn't know what it'd be, but you knew you'd have no option but to accept it when it came. You'd already made your peace with it, made your peace with whatever God could condemn you to. Perhaps, you'd have to live alone, wear a scarlet letter on your breast. Perhaps, they'd cast you out completely, and you'd be shunned. Perhaps, they'd hang you. You touched your stomach at that thought. Perhaps, there were certain punishments you couldn't bear.
Your lips only fell open when a voice yelled,
"It was I." And a gasp fell from your mouth. Your head turned, snapped towards the voice. Towards the sea of faces that was the crowd. But, you knew that voice. "It's my child." He said, and your eyes fell on a face you knew all too well. And, at that moment, you knew exactly what type of punishment God had set out for you.
Mad Thomas.
***
The day had gone by in a blur.
Over and over in your head, one question repeated itself. Why? It was almost loud enough to drown out the constant whispers, the stories being spun by every person who seemed to have a tongue.
Union couldn't seem to stop talking about it. Of when it started, how long it'd been going on, when the pair of you had even had time to sneak off. You'd even heard a young Constance Berman whisper about how she'd always known something was going on between the two of you, only to be shushed by her older sister as you passed. As you'd been let free of the top of the church steps.
You'd been left outside, left out in the sun. Inside the church went your father, the pastor, and Thomas. You had no idea what Thomas was going to say, what lies he was going to spin.
You couldn't bring yourself to leave, to speak. You felt as though a blanket of white noise had covered your ears, covered your mind. You were surprised, to say the least. You'd thought a wave of devastation had washed over you the first moment you'd realized you were with child, but this? It made it seem like ripples in a pond. The only thing you could do was stare at the church door and wait for them to come out. But, you felt a warm arm wrap around your waist and you turned to see the face of your mother.
"Come," She said, and you looked back at the door blankly. You didn't want to leave. You wanted to be there when they came out. But, you couldn't find the words to say or the strength to keep your feet firm. So, you let her guide you away from the crowd, and towards your house.
It was only later that you were told you and Thomas were to be married by the end of the month.
***
You and Thomas were never allowed a moment alone. You didn't know whether to be relieved or not, but Thomas, a man who you quickly found was far more confusing than you thought, was playing a charade. He brought you flowers, carried your water pail for you, and even took you on chaperoned walks. You, however, were stony and stiff, barely able to contain your disgust for him. It was on your first walk that you whispered,
"Why? Why are you doing this?" And, for a moment, the incorrigible man seemed to pretend not to hear you. He glanced over his shoulder, as if the wind was at his ear instead, and you saw him cast a sly glance to the man behind them. It was one of your father's friends, walking only about two yards behind you. Finally, when he decided he was far away enough, he responded,
"Would you rather I had let them cast you out? Let you and your child starve in the woods?" Thomas said back, the most sober you'd ever heard him. It seemed that apart of your father's deal with him was that he cut back on the drink. He didn't even stumble as he walked.
"Don't pretend you did this out of charity. Why, Thomas?" You asked, and you, for only a moment, reached out to touch his arm. You pulled it back just as quick, hoping that your chaperone hadn't seen. Thomas looked down at the action, before he smirked and shook his head.
"Aren't we a perfect match?" He asked, and you gave him a look of confusion. He continued with, "You think I don't know what people say about me? Don't you see, girl? It doesn't matter if your father is the best woodworker, or the richest in Union anymore. No one would have you, or your bastard child. Except me." He said, and you almost couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. He continued, his words a whisper now, "Besides, it's a lie they would believe." You stared at him, flabbergasted by his words. Flabbergasted by how right he was.
Thomas had, well, a reputation. It wasn't out of character for his wedding to be one out of necessity, and perhaps it earned you some pity from the townspeople. How many women had Thomas seduced? And how many of them could truly judge you? Not to mention, his words left one thing clear.
So, it was my dowry, you thought. It wasn't an unheard of reason, and it made sense given the man you were talking to. Your father had been avoiding selling you off, even as you reached far into your womanhood. And, surely, your father would never have considered him under any normal circumstance, but now...You didn't seem to have much of a choice.
Thomas paused, picking up one of the wildflowers and handing it to you. You took it, knowing now that you had to play along. That you had to act as if he truly was the father of your child, and not someone as foreign to you as the land outside of Union.
"Your father was going to start building us a house. I was thinking right here," Thomas said, his voice only slightly louder for the chaperone to hear, but you barely paid attention. You were staring down at the yellow flower in your hands, before you glanced up at the man in front of you.
He was tall, but his hair was lighter. His cheeks were stubbly and his eyes- They were a clear blue. Almost the same shade as the sky above you. You watched as he talked, as he laid out his plan. And, while the idea of being married to anyone that you didn't love sickened you, you tried to tell yourself that it wouldn't be as terrible as you felt it would be.
***
You and Thomas sat out in the sun, where you were making a flower crown and he was rambling about one thing or the other. You'd gotten very good at pretending to be in love, even in the span of only a couple of weeks.
You gave him smiles and laughter, and he gave you gifts or stole a caress. It was enough to stir the people of Union so no one would be the wiser. And, with your father at his station a short way across the field, the pair of you could be somewhat alone. But, still within viewing distance.
"You're not listening." Thomas said, and you smiled to yourself for a moment. You looked at the finished crown, before you looked up and reached over to where he was laying on the blanket. He was half-sitting up, and you placed the flower crown atop his head as you said,
"Yes, I was." You replied simply as you adjusted it, and Thomas stared at you and gave a small scoff. He caught your hand as you went to pull it away, his grip loose. He held it almost gently, and said,
"Then kiss me." And your brows drew together. A quick,
"What?" Fell from your lips, and you watched how Thomas smiled. He laughed, letting your hand go as he said,
"So, you weren't listening-" But you were quick to interrupt him.
"Why would- Why?" The idea- the simple idea was preposterous. Why would you kiss him? In broad daylight no less? The suggestion made you nervous, made a weird feeling start in your stomach. And, you ignored how this feeling wasn't entirely unfamiliar.
"They're going to expect us to kiss on our wedding day, girl. Shouldn't we have some practice?" He said, and you thought perhaps the first time he proposed it had been kinder. You stared at him, thinking over his words. Thomas waited, reaching out to touch your skirt. It was only to pick at it for a moment, before he drew his hand away.
You couldn't tell if that was the only reason Thomas wanted to kiss you, if there wasn't some ulterior motive somewhere. You wouldn't put it past him. But, really, he was right. Not to mention, while the pair of you had been affectionate, had you been affectionate enough?
That's what was so aggravating about Thomas. He was always right. He saw clear through whatever facade anyone put up, and saw the truth. Perhaps, that's why he was such a good liar.
Perhaps, that's why he was staring at you.
"Fine." You said, before you looked over your shoulder. You were in the field, but you were more or less a public spectacle. You could hear Thomas draw closer, feel the warmth of his hand reach for your arm.
"Let them look." He said as he gave a tug on your arm, and you turned back to face him. It was strange to hear him say that, such a stark difference from what you were used to. To have him so close was different than before, but Thomas didn't close the gap. You supposed he was waiting for you to do that. He whispered, "Well?" And, finally, you did. It was a short kiss, a quick stolen one. Still, it made Thomas smile. "So chaste." He let out a small laugh, and it was your turn to scoff. "Are you sure-" And you could guess what he was going to say. You kissed him again, if only to silence him. It was deeper, firmer than your last had been. And you hated to admit that you didn't hate it. Thomas was well-practiced, and the feeling of his thumb grazing your cheek was nearly as warm as the feeling of the sun on your back. It made another feeling start, one that you tried to stamp out that very second. You pulled away again, cutting it short. Thomas, for just a moment, tried to follow you before he pulled back. He had a small smile on his face, one he didn't try to hide as he pushed his hair back.
"You're practiced." You said quietly, the closest thing to a compliment you could give him. You'd heard rumors of him galavanting with the likes of Abbi Berman and some of the others. Perhaps, there was some truth to them. Thomas glanced over, and returned the words,
"Aye, so are you." When he smiled and glanced down at your belly, you knew the jab had been intended. And, unfortunately, he'd managed to make you laugh.
***
You knew it was coming. You had prepared yourself for it. Before the wedding, the pastor would counsel both of you. And, he was going to counsel you first.
You stood in a dress your mother had made, with your corset done loosely as not to press on your stomach. You'd been staring out the window, at the cloudless day and the happy faces of your town. Why shouldn't they be happy? It was the day for a celebration.
You'd even caught glimpses of Thomas. Your mother was fussing over him, and Issac had swiped his pouch. He looked- Well, you could tell he'd been scrubbed down. Most of his teeth were still black, but in clean clothes and with a clean face...Perhaps, he didn't look terrible. You tilted your head, and, almost as if he could feel you staring, Thomas' head turned. He caught your eyes, and reflected your posture with a tilt of his own head. It made you smile, something you found was less forced the more time you spent with him. Your head turned from him when you heard someone come in.
"Wonderful day for a wedding." Cyrus said as he closed the door to the chapel, and you tried to manage a smile. "Sit." He said, and gestured to one of the pews. You did, and you both kept your distance. The chapel was dim, only lit by the light outside. The pair of you were silent for a moment, before Cyrus said, "The magistrate is here. He seems eager to start. Do you," He paused for a moment. "Do you have any doubts?" And you felt that the question was not quite as empty as anyone else would think.
You'd been staring at your hands, and you finally lifted your gaze to him. To his deep, dark brown eyes. After a moment, you found your voice.
"None at all. Thomas is- He shall be the father to his child, and he shall be my husband. I shall do my duties, and, I- I love him." It was hard to say, at least when Cyrus sat in front of you. "What is there to doubt?" You asked, your question equally as heavy. While none of you would say it plainly, you knew from the way he looked over your face that he understood you perfectly. The pair of you would never confess your secret, and you'd let the hatchet be buried. Forgotten.
"Does he know?" Cyrus asked, and you knew what it sounded like. In case any of the others were listening. Like he was asking if your soon to be husband knew you loved him. The question couldn't be more disguised. Really, his eyes said, Does he know about us?
"Yes. Or, I think he does." You replied, and you watched how Cyrus reached to touch his clean-shaven face. His face was half hidden by his hand, but you could see his eyes were disturbed. A secret was harder to keep the more people knew, but you said, "And he loves me. He'd do anything to keep this union." You told him, and you hoped he got your meaning. When Cyrus glanced at you, you guessed he did. Silently, your eyes said, If he does, Thomas won't tell. And, after a pause, Cyrus let out a sigh.
"Then, there seems little I have to counsel you on."
***
"Have you thought of a name?" Thomas asked you, and you hummed.
You were picking at your sheet, looking towards the window. It had been months, five if not nearly six. Your baby was due in only a few weeks now, and you still hadn't decided. Your husband, a word to describe him that didn't seem so weird now, laid besides you facing up towards the roof.
Thomas, well, he was not what you thought. He had a good, if not sometimes strange, sense of humor, and did not bruise easily from even the harshest words. He could take care of himself, after years of doing so, and, subsequently, you as well. Your mother and the mid-wife still came by to make sure you were in good health, but Thomas had most of it handled. He was a little lazy when it came to work, especially the work your father tried to give him, but he seemed to find that the work that came with having his own house agreed with him. The pair of you had become- Well, familiar. That was the word you would use. You couldn't say, nearly six months later, that it was still just pretending.
Still, Thomas didn't touch you in any way you wouldn't want him to, and you had to lift your head to throw a glance back to him.
"I have some ideas. Perhaps, if it's a girl," You paused, a sly grin coming to your face, "We could name her Abigail." And you watched him scoff and roll his eyes, even lift his head off of his arm for a moment as he said,
"Absolutely not." And you snickered to yourself as you went back to facing away from him. It was just a jest, a reference to an old dalliance of his, but Thomas, if anything, was fun to tease. The only issue was that Thomas was just as sharp when it came to his wit. "Y'know- Fine. Then, if it's a boy, we shall name him Cyrus." And you let out a noise of protest. You tried to roll over, declaring,
"No!" And now it was Thomas' turn to laugh. He placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to ease you back down. You let him, and even reached to hold his arm. To pull him closer. He followed, and you guided his hand above your bulging stomach as the pair of you adjusted. "Fine- Neither of those names. But, we must think of something." You told him, feeling as he stretched his fingers over where your baby grew. He held you, his warmth against your back. His hand rubbing your stomach lightly.
It made a strange sense of warmth fill you, one you couldn't blame from body-heat. And, it wasn't so terrible that you tried to push it, or him, away.
***
"She cries like no other child in Union." Thomas said as he climbed into your bed. You were supposed to be resting, healing, even weeks, nearly two months, after your child's birth. You felt like you'd been confined to your bed for so long that you were starting to become a part of it. Thomas was only here for the break your father gave him half-way through the day. Still, you smiled to yourself from where you laid on your side, and said,
"Perhaps, it is your smell that disturbs her." You said, your voice thick with sleep but a cheeky grin working onto your face. You shouldn't have prompted him, because he took the opportunity to drape himself heavily over your back.
"Oh, should I sleep outside tonight then?" He asked, and you giggled when you felt his stubble tickling your cheek.
It was already long into the day, and you'd become lazy from bed-rest. It felt far too nice to have his warmth wrapped around you, to where you nearly wanted to fall asleep. You had grown too used to it now, and you could barely imagine a night without it.
"I never said that." You responded, and turned your face back towards the softness of your pillow. You felt Thomas' hand raise, his fingertips brush against your cheek. He was being brave, especially when you felt his lips brush against your neck. It made you bite your lip, a twinge of something not so unfamiliar swirling in your belly. You wondered if he would continue. Hell, you wanted him to. But, it was nothing more than that.
Thomas, to your surprise, had more restraint than you would've assumed. He kissed your cheek, went to stand, and excused himself with,
"Your father will begin to wonder where I am." And you lifted your head to watch him step away, before you settled back down. He was clean, cleaner than he had been when he'd been sleeping in the outhouse. His hair was softer and longer, tied away from his face. And his arms seemed stronger, perhaps from the days of working with your father. He was, if you dared to think so, a kind sight to your eyes now. "Sleep. I'll be back by the time you wake." He told you, and, as he left, you found yourself hoping he was right.
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