#and if there’s not.
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Chat I think I need a psychiatrist
#I can no longer ignore it. there must be something clinically wrong with me#and if there’s not.#I might just break down for good#because what the fuck is this#one panic attack- one near panic attack- severe (and mostly baseless) paranoia while I’m home alone at night (but not every time- and it’s-#-never predictable)#random weeks here and there that I Do Not Feel like Myself#and I can’t always describe what exactly that means#but it usually turns into some form of apathy paired with self loathing (which comes with thoughts of self harm and/or suicide)#but then sometimes im fine?#and there’s never a clear trigger or stressor#I mean I know my hormones play into it- but I don’t think it should cause stuff this drastic- and it’s also not pms#pmdd** not pms#and I went to therapy for the self harm and suicide stuff and I mean it worked for that- but now I feel like I’m worse off than before#and maybe it’s just because the most glaring issue is gone now so all the other shit is coming up#but I’ve never had a panic attack before (I think I maybe had one once when I was like 7 and very scared of the dark) but this isn’t-#-normal for me#anyways.#vent tw#I really just need a diagnosis for something. even if no one can fix it I just really want to know for certain if there actually is#something wrong with me. or if I’m just really bad at handling life somehow??#bruh I dunno
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