#today I got a lot done and felt almost normal

[aliosne]

Me earlier: what if when they scan my tiddies they see a angry little gnome in there whose been causing all my various Ailments and they kick him out and then I dont suck anymore

[luveline]

hi jade! I remember a while back you wrote a drabble about hotchner!reader having a really bad panic attack and Spencer and Aaron helping her at the hospital, and it gave me a lot of comfort to read it. would you be interested in writing something about Spencer and Aaron taking care of hotchner!reader as she adjusts to her new meds?

—Spencer and your brother, Aaron, take care of you when your new prescription gives unexpected side effects. fem (adopted) 2k

When things got quiet at home, you’d get tense. 

Your apartment is silent. No whir of the heating, no washing machine clatter, no voices. You sit on the couch with your legs pulled up, turned to the armrest with your cheek pressed to the seat's backing. Your phone is in your hand at a low percentage. You’ll get up to charge just as soon as you can remember what you’d wanted to be doing in the first place. 

Spencer was going to call you. He’s sweet, really. You didn’t expect for love to feel easy; you never thought someone could like you without allowances. You’re quiet sometimes, your nerves are shot. You ask for reassurance too much, too often, and you don’t believe them when they’re given. 

You aren’t smart, or funny, or particularly hard-working. 

But Spencer loves you, you’re almost certain. Or maybe he’s just content to be half happy. It wouldn’t surprise you if he called you to break up with you —what use have you been to him lately? You’re tired everyday. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you never want to go out. You can barely make it through the working day. 

Your phone beeps in your hand. 

Outside, it says. If Spencer’s there, please make sure he’s fully dressed.

You manage to smile weakly. Aaron saw Spencer once getting out of the shower, and he was dressed, thank you very much. You hadn’t done anything salacious as he might’ve assumed from the situation, just showered together, but Aaron always lets you know before visiting now. 

Doesn’t ask, by the way, but you don’t actually want him to. He’s like, the only good thing in your life beside Spencer. 

Aaron lets himself in and finds you immediately. “Hey, honey,” he says. 

He slipped into the affectionate older brother role not long after meeting you, and he’s been worse since you were in the hospital. Which is to say, gentler with you. 

He slips a bag of groceries onto the counter. He pans around the room. It’s cleaner than usual here, but none of the lights are on, nor the TV. You can see him notice it. 

“You okay?” he asks, pulling groceries from the bag. He’s brought milk, bread, eggs, and fresh soups from the nice store nearby. “It’s quiet in here.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Yeah? Any wobbles?” 

He’s asking if you’ve had a panic attack or anything like it, but for the last few days you’ve felt veritably numb. “I’m okay,” you say. 

You should bring up your symptoms. Clearly, lexapro either isn’t right for you or the dosage is too much; you’re a zombie these last couple of days. Medications don’t always work straight away, so for a time you’d felt like your script was useless, serving only to make you nauseous, but the sickness has finally gone away. 

He opens the fridge to put away the groceries. He’s sliding the bread into your bread box when he says, “Honey, aren’t you gonna answer that? Your phone?”

You blink down at your phone. Spencer’s contact glows in front of a green background. 

You click answer and pull it to your ear. “Hello?” you ask softly. 

“Hey, angel. How are you feeling today?” 

You clear your throat. “Fine.” 

“I was thinking I’d come over?” 

“You’re outside?” you ask. 

“How’d you know that?” 

“Must be something in the water.”

“I’ll come up now. I brought some things for dinner.” 

You manage your first laugh that dreary day. It’s nearly normal. “Okay. I might not have room.” 

Spencer promises to be up quickly and disconnects the call. You lift your chin to find Aaron already looking at you. “Do I look okay?” you ask. 

“Beautiful, don’t worry.”

“Is this an ambush?” you ask. 

“Not an intentional one. Can I make you something to drink?” 

He’ll make you something you like, you trust. You try to sit properly on the couch before Spencer gets here, rubbing under your eyes, checking there’s nothing on your t-shirt and sweatpants. It might not matter if there were, you know Spencer thinks you’re pretty without makeup or fancy clothes, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be truthful about it. 

“Aaron,” you say, before you can forget, “did… was Jack’s soccer okay?”

He passes you a mug, squeezing your shoulder lovingly. “It was great. I’ll show you the photos.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t go.” 

You were supposed to. Spencer even drove to pick you up, but he got here and your meds weren’t working and your heart was beating wrong, so you stayed home. 

“It’s okay.” Aaron looks like he wants to hug you, but he doesn’t. “Nobody’s mad at you for that.” 

“For other things?” 

“Nothing.” 

Your door opens again. Spencer bursts in with two things, a brown paper bag of groceries and a bouquet of flowers. It’s a pretty huge bouquet, as they go, white and pink flowers, cornflower blue chrysanthemums spotted throughout, the end of his scarf stuck in the flowers and his coat unbuttoned in the struggle. “Hey. Hi, Hotch.” 

“Spencer,” Aaron says, which is strangely warm. 

Spencer shoves the bouquet aside to see you. “Hi, you okay?” 

You force yourself to stand. It’s obvious you’re not feeling right, your head whirring, but you have to make sure he still wants you. “Spencer.” 

He puts the bouquet down. The groceries next. “Angel,” he says, meeting Aaron’s eyes quickly, then back to you, where he smiles sympathetically, “How long have you been feeling like this?” 

You’ve only taken a few steps toward him when he catches you for a hug. It’s nice and polite, but not without tenderness. He doesn’t pull your weight in like he would if you were alone, but he holds your back and sits a quick kiss against your cheek as he pulls away. 

“I don’t really know, a few days?” you suggest. 

“You could’ve told me. Or Hotch, you know?” 

“I know, I was going to, just–” You press your hand to your eyes. “Didn’t really notice it was happening.” 

“Don’t get upset,” Aaron says, coming to join you both in the kitchen. “It’s alright. Spencer isn’t scolding you, he just wants you to know we’re here for you no matter what happens.” 

“I don’t feel like myself,” you say.

“That’s okay,” Aaron furthers, holding you by the shoulder, his hand settling behind the nape of your neck, “we can talk to your doctor again, this isn’t permanent. We’ll talk to them today, if it’s what you need.” 

“I’m sorry. Not many people have such an adverse effect to lexapro, I was hoping you wouldn’t be an exception,” Spencer says. 

To your surprise, Aaron answers for you, “You couldn’t have known. This is just something we’ll have to keep doing together.” 

Someone sits you down. Aaron warms his fancy soups and toasts the bread he brought, making a plate and bowl for each of you without asking. Spencer barely balks. You manage another laugh, for which you’re rewarded with two smiles. 

Aaron can’t stay much longer, having to pick up Jack from Jess’, but he offers to come back. You decline, not wanting Jack to see you feeling as depressed as you are. He promises to call the doctor tonight and leaves in a rush. He must’ve stayed longer than he should’ve. 

Spencer is more forthcoming with soft touches once he’s gone. He didn’t eat much but neither did you, pushing the plates across the coffee table. He’s still wearing his coat. 

Fond, you reach for his chest and begin slipping buttons from the eyelets. “You’re staying, right?” you murmur. 

“If you’ll have me.” 

You open his coat and push it away from his shoulders. He dressed fancy even when he’s not going anywhere, it’s so strange, the button up and the tie and the sweater vest, all of it, but you love it. You run your hand down his vest. He lets his head dip forward. Not for kissing, just to be near. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

“Just feel wrong.” 

“It’s not really a good idea to stop taking the lexapro now. It’s technically an antidepressant, and your body won’t adjust well.” He holds your waist as you hold his. “But this is weird, huh?” 

“Feels weird.” 

“Short term, uh, I think we should just try and make sure you feel alright today. Is there anything you need?” he’s murmuring, rubbing his thumb into the soft of your stomach. “I can get anything. Or we can do anything.” 

“You don’t have to… worry about me.��� 

“Are you kidding?” he asks softly.

“We haven’t been…” You trail your hand to his stomach, where it stays. “I just don’t expect you to deal with this, you didn’t sign up for this.” 

“I don’t think that’s true. I had no idea what I’d find out about you or what you might go through when we first met, but I wanted to find out. I wanted to take care of you then, and I do now,” he says simply.

“It’s not good timing for me to be like this.” 

“Stuff happens all the time. I wouldn’t want to wait for you to be perfect before we met.” He smiles genuinely. “Not that you’re not perfect.” 

“I really feel like I’m not even me.” 

“You’re you,” he says, dipping so close to you that you can’t see his face anymore, just his skin.

You slouch into his chest, coaxed by long, lithe arms cradling you, as kind as anyone’s ever touched you. He smells clean, your nose finding its way to his stiff collar. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“You don’t have to be. Nobody wants you to be sorry, okay?” 

It’s a new feeling. Spencer spends the night with you on the couch and doesn’t for a moment seem like it’s something he doesn’t wanna do. You end up laying on his chest, his fingers drawing lines like a meandering figure skater up your back. Twirls and loops, long laps around your spine. When your phone rings, he’s nice enough to click answer and hold it to your ear. 

“Aaron?” you ask sleepily. 

“Hey, honey. I’ll be by tomorrow to take you back to Dr. Chester’s office, alright? If you don’t want to keep taking your lexapro, don’t. But if you can manage it, take another tonight, and we’ll figure out the new plan after your appointment.” 

“Okay,” you say, feeling very small. “Thank you for doing that for me.” 

“I’d do anything. Jack says he loves you, he’s making you a painting of yourself. He’s very good at the colours.” 

“I bet he is,” you say loudly. In the background, you can hear Jack’s pleased little thank you. 

“Do you want to talk a while?” he asks.

“That’s okay, Aaron, I’m half asleep on Spencer right now.” 

“Good, that’s good. Tell him to take good care of you, okay? Or I won’t be happy.” 

Spencer laughs above your head. “When is he ever happy?” he jokes in a whisper. 

“Shh,” you say, giving Spencer a light shove. “He says he will.” You swallow a lump, as you’ve had to do all day, but it isn’t rawness that colours your voice now. “I love you. Thank you for, uh, calling the doctor. Thanks.” 

“I love you too. I’ll leave you to sleep now. I’ll come at eleven, alright?” 

“Alright. See you tomorrow,” you say. 

Your voice is weak. Spencer pulls the phone away and hangs it up, tossing it without force onto the coffee table, before wrapping his arm around you snugly. 

“It’s gonna be fine,” Spencer says. “You’ll see, things aren’t going to be like this forever. It’s statistically impossible.” 

“Ooh,” you croon, pressing your tired face back into his chest, “I love when you talk statistics to me. Tell me more.”

He draws shapes into your back, his voice a murmur as he starts to talk. 

[youngheejay]

Dad and Husband responsibilities

Where Jay could never leave you alone pregnant - even if he missed his members dearly

Starring: Jay x pregnant fem!reader [married] + 3yo son Taesan + enha members

*************************************************

Jay snorted as he couldn’t stop laughing and cackling at the jokes the boys were cracking. After hearing him snort another round of laughter erupted. He tried to calm himself down, clutching his stomach in pain as a few tears escaped his eyes from all the excessive laughing.

“Wow, hyung, I don’t remember this. How come manager didn’t caught you?” Riki asked with a grin and curious wide eyes. Jay smirked at the memory.

“He caught him! There was this huge tension for a few days between the managers because Jiwoo Hyung didn’t scold him and the others were pissed at him!” Jake explained energetically in a loud voice, almost shouting. Normally, Jay would’ve shut him down but at that moment, as he was in a state of glee, he didn’t care.

“Yeah, I got caught because in the next morning I was totally hungover and still wasted. I missed that one event- what was it?”

“The prada store event.” Jungwon rolled his eyes in amusement as he remembered receiving all the nagging from management. Back then he was furious at Jays behaviour but now it was definitely a story to reminisce and laugh about.

“Yeah, yeah, Jiwoo hyung found me dead in the hotelroom and then-“

“What’s dead, appa?”

All of the seven men whipped their head at a record-breaking speed and looked at the 3 year old with shock written all over their faces.

Jay internally face palmed himself. He totally forgot that his son was in the same room as them as Taesan was previously occupied with his drawing. Usually, the toddler wouldn’t even look up during his focused drawings and, therefore, whenever he called him for dinner, Jay would have to interrupt his art sessions by taking away his drawings.

He probably got distracted from all the loud noises, Jay assumed.

“It’s nothing, buddy,” Jay quickly tried to dismiss his question as he knew that this is not the time and place to answer his sons philosophical questions, and because he knew you’d kill him if you’d find out that he used such expressions in-front of your son.

“Hm,” Taesan pouted but luckily he was too tired to think any longer as he abandoned his play table and waddled towards his dad in a sleepy manner. Jay reached out to him from his spot on the couch and sat him on his lap.

“Tired? Wanna sleep?” Jay brushed the younger ones hair with his fingers and glanced at the clock.

7:13 pm, I should put him to sleep now. He played a lot today with his uncles.

And his uncles defined ‘playing’ not in a classical way but more in a wrestling-taekwondo-kick-boxing-throwingthekidintheair-kind of way.

“No!!!” Taesan whined and kicked his feet. “I don’t wanna sweep appa!!! I wanna pway!!! I wanna pway with uncwle!!!”

Any other day Jay wouldn’t have tolerated this behaviour and would’ve sent him to prepare for his bed-time.

Jay could be a very strict dad sometimes, especially when it came to bed-time. He just knew that his son couldn’t handle staying up too late.

But today he felt like an exception would be appropriate. Taesan missed his uncles just as much as Jay missed his brothers.

“Alright, son, but clean up your play table first, then brush your teeth and change your clothes already.”

“Okey!” Taesan hopped off of his lap and with new found energy he left the living room to climb up the stairs leading to his own room.

Jay shook his head in amusement as he took note on how Taesan skipped the first task on purpose.

“This kid,” he muttered and shook his head again when he saw his child climbing the stairs on all fours whilst imitating dog noises - something he’s never done before. Leaving Jay to wonder from where he picked that.

“Sooo? Don’t leave me hanging? What happened next?”

“Hm?” Jay turned his head back to his friends and faced Riki. “Ah,” he started to smirk again. “Then nothing, I got caught and received a penalty,” he mumbled in a rushed and quiet tone.

Riki almost didn’t caught what he said, “what?” He squinted his eyes at the anti climax and was disappointed at the fact that his hyung wasn’t telling the full story.

Seeing his expression jay nudged with his head towards the stairs, indicating that Taesan might hear them. Frustrated, Riki leaned back on the couch and let out a sigh.

“We were having so much fun ‘til now,” Sunoo pouted and expressed the thought everyone was having.

„That brat literally killed the vibe,“ Jake snickered at Rikis comment. Jay reached out his hand and flicked Rikis forehead, „ouch!“

„Don’t call my son a brat, he is cute.“

„Yes, hyung, he is cute, trust me I know that, I’m his fave uncle-“, “hey!” Riki ignored Sunoos shout, “but ever since you’ve become a dad you are no fun no more! We never really got the chance to talk and let loose like we used to,” he said in a hurt tone as he avoided eye contact.

Jay laughed in disbelief, feeling somewhat offended, “that’s not true we always hangout.”

Riki shot him a look, „ok now you’re just lying, hyung - when was the last time we went to our spot?” he challenged as he referred to the bar where they used to drink and let loose after work - twice a week used to be the minimum.

“I- well, maybe we don’t go there anymore but we still see each other every so often, right?” Jay looked at Jungwon in hopes of support.

Jungwon pursed his lips, “well… we haven’t seen eachother in a longgg time now...”

“What? I just saw you yesterday!” Jay exclaimed. Riki shot up from his leaning position: “eh?! You two met?”

“No! No, hyung, I just quickly came by because my girlfriend needed her hair machine thingy back- what’s it called?”

“Dyson?” Heeseung said. „Yeah yeah, that one, it’s really expensive,“ Jungwon sighed as he remembered buying it for his girlfriend.

Heeseung chuckled at that, „tell me about it. My girl‘s been wantin’ me to buy that for her.“

„Just buy it hyung, it’ll be worth it- she still thanks me for it every time she uses it.“

Jungwon looked at Jay again, „as I was saying: we didn’t meet up and hung out yesterday, I just had to run an errand, hyung!“

„But I mean, Riki said that ever since I became a dad I’m not that fun anymore? That’s just exaggerating.“

Riki started groaning at that, „I’m not the only one who’s been saying! Everyone feels the same! I get it, you have your responsibilities bla bla - whatever you call it - but come on!“

„it’s not responsibility ‘bla bla’ Riki! I’m a father and husband! I can’t just go out whenever? My family needs me.“ Jay scoffed in disbelief feeling irritation crawl up his blood pressure.

„I think what Riki is trying to say,“ Heeseung meddled calmly in, „what everyone’s been feeling lately, that the band hasn’t been together in a long long time- I think all seven of us met at New Year’s Eve.“

“And we’re not the only ones who have been missin the old times, manager said it also yesterday…” Jake said.

“But guys! We’re hanging out right now, aren’t we?”

“Yes! And it was nice playing with Taesan but that’s not the same! We were laughing and retelling stories but then he interrupted us. Which is not the same as when we chill at our spot”

Jay huffed in response, turning his head to Sunghoon who’s been quiet the whole time during this argument, “Hoon?”

“I think, yeah, I think they’re right, Jongseong. You should also go out from time to time and balance the stress out which stems from fatherhood and husband responsibilities,” he nodded as he thought about his own experience so far as a newlywed.

“I’m not stressed!” Jay furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, we can totally tell.” Riki rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“You know, with your second baby on the way, you should take this opportunity and go out with us for once. Just like the old times! No responsibilities, we will have fun like we used to!“

Jay was hardly convinced at Jakes suggestion. He couldn’t leave you just like that, you’re eight months pregnant! And Taesan-

Jungwon interrupted his train of thoughts, „you’re not even trying, hyung. I don’t think y/n would mind. She also knows how much you do for her, maybe she would be happy for you to do something fun.“

„Jay-ah, you should just ask her. You’ve gotten too uptight lately, always stressed, always thinkin’ too much. She’ll probably be happy for you to want to go out.“ Heeseung said in a matter-of-fact tone.

„We all know her, Jongseong. She would want you to go out for once,“ Sunghoon adds. “What’s the saying? ‘Happy wife, happy life’? That also applies to the husband. If you’re always so tense, eventually, your family will also be affected by that.”

Jay was surprised at how mature Sunghoon sounded, not like the Hoon he used to know.

“Wow Hoon, didn’t know you’ve become a big boy.” Jake slapped him rather aggressively on his back, to which Sunghoon just shrugged, “what can I say? I’m the best husband that’s ever walked on this planet.“ Typical Hoon was back.

Jay let out another sigh. They’re not wrong, I haven’t hung out with any friends in a long time.

Just as he was starting to feel convinced he heard his son rush down the stairs and, ultimately, tripping down the last two steps.

Jay sprang up from his seat and comforted his crying son. He had to bite his tongue as he tried not to laugh at his son lying on the ground like a starfish.

„Appa!!“

“Appa told you before not to rush down the stairs, didn’t I?”

Jay picked him up and rubbed his back while cooing: “aw my baby is hurt? Hm? Show me where it hurts“

Taesan pointed at his right knee and hand, still sobbing and whaling. „Shh, it’s ok, appa is here, I will take away the pain, hm?“

He softly blew on his tiny hand and his pajama clothed knee and rubbed it soothingly. „Better?“ Taesan indeed calmed down and nodded. He leaned onto his fathers chest and sniffled quietly, playing with the fabric of Jays shirt.

“Taesannie, you hurt yourself?” Jake asked in a tone he used with his dog.

“He’s not a dog, idiot.” Sunghoon hit him on his head.

“Woof woof,” Taesan replied, putting out his tongue and imitating a dog.

The group started to laugh to which Taesan shyly smiled and hid his face in Jays neck, his injury long forgotten.

Jay wiped away the remaining tears and took out a tissue from a box placed on the dining table.

„I’m sorry, guys. I really want to but you’ve just seen what happened. Y/n is eight months pregnant, I can’t leave her alone with him.“ He said in a soft sigh as he wiped away Taesans snot.

„Aghhh! You little rascal!“ Riki exclaimed as he took away Taesan from Jays hold, spinning and flying the little one around. As giggles and laughters escaped from his son, Jay felt his heart squeeze.

Seeing Riki play with Taesan awakened nostalgia and affection towards his youngest member. Sure, Riki was now a grown man, but that didn’t change the fact that Jay raised him since he was 13 year old. In some sort of way, Riki was his first son.

And he did missed him a lot and the other members just as much. Sometimes, he caught himself reminiscing about their group activities, their dorms and their ups and downs. He could proudly say that they were his second family after he left his home as a teenager.

But now he found a new family - his love, his precious wife, y/n. He had now other, new priorities. That’s what marriage was about after all. Commitment.

Jungwon spoke up: „Hyung, it’s written all over your face - you wanna go out with us“

„How about you put Taesan to sleep, check up on your wife and then we’ll be gone for only a couple of hours. You’ll be back before midnight, It’s not even 8 yet.“ Heeseung suggested.

„That’s actually not a bad idea to have Taesan asleep.“ Jay admitted. Taesan being asleep while he was gone minimised any chaos.

- “I don’t wanna sweep!!” Taesan angrily interfered. Riki quickly patted his head: “ok, ok. Nobody is going to sleep, alright?” He continued to lift him up in the air as way of distraction from their plans. -

But then Jay thought of you. What if you needed him? You couldn’t even get out of the bed without any support. Well, you always told him you could but he saw the way you struggled.

„But then again guys, y/n is pregnant as f.. as heck. I can’t leave her ‚to have fun‘,“ he gestured the quotes with his hands. „I put her in this situation after all,“ he smirked cheekily.

„Ew,“ Sunoo commented, „just ask her hyung! The worst she’ll do is say no!“

„No, the worst she’ll do is-“ he took a quick glance at the stairs leading to your bedroom in which you have been, presumably, still sleeping.

Jay lowered his voice: „In worst case scenario, she’ll get mad at me for asking and I’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight.“

„So you’re scared of your wife?“

„No!“

…

„no… yes.. maybe a little tiny bit, but you guys don’t get to say anything before you’re in a committed relationship,” he glanced at Jake and Riki with narrowed eyes who snickered around and made fun of him. Taesan joined the giggles albeit not understanding why they were laughing.

„Jongseong!“ Jay twitched when he suddenly heard you calling him from the bedroom.

“Just ask her, dude!” Jake whispered loudly. Jay took a glass of water and made his way upstairs whilst rolling his eyes, hoping Taesan didn’t see his father just do that.

—

“Hi baby, how was your nap?” Jay pressed a kiss on your hair and helped you up to lean comfortably against the headboard.

“Good,” you mumbled sleepily when he sat beside you and handed you the glass of water. When he saw your hand tremble whilst holding the glass, struggling to balance it properly, he sighed softly and took it in his own hand to bring it to your lips.

What were I thinking? I can’t leave her alone in this state to have fun on my own.

————

“Yes, just like I assumed: your blood pressure is way too low, Mrs. Park,” the doctor looked at the machine and scribbled down some notes.

You just entered your 29th pregnancy week when you fainted. Jay just came home when it happened, still clothed in his jacket and cap. Luckily, he caught you in his arms and you didn’t land on the hard ground.

The faint didn’t come as much as a surprise to you than it did to Jay. Which is why he did his best to stay calm when you told the doctor you’ve been feeling a lot weaker and dizzier lately, especially in comparison to your first pregnancy.

Jay rubbed his face. Why didn’t you say anything to him? So he wouldn’t worry?

He chose to stay silent, not wanting to stress you out any more than you already were, so he just silently took your hand and caressed it with his thumb.

“We’ll run some tests. But I can assure you, Mr. and Mrs. Park, there’s nothing to worry about,” the doctor explained, “the best way to get your BP on the normal range, in your pregnant condition right now, is to bedrest, hydration - you have to drink a lot of water - and a certain diet. I’ll print out a spreadsheet for you. If it helps you with the dizziness within a week then we’ll have to stick to that.”

——

Jay was grateful that the diet and bedrest did indeed help you a lot. The only times you felt dizzy and weak were after you’ve just woken up, like now, but everything else was going perfect.

Well to you at least.

Jay didn’t allow you to stand for more than 10 minutes and he always made sure you were hydrated.

Which was cute! Really!

Ok, it was a little exhausting sometimes to not freely do whatever you wanted. But you knew it was for the best. And that he was only doing what was the best for you and the baby.

You just wished he wouldn’t be too concerned sometimes. You can get up on your own - albeit you had to admit it was a little difficult - but he treats you like a patient with a terminal illness!

Still, you didn’t want to complain.

There were women out there pregnant, and the men who got them pregnant were nowhere to be found. What a shame… you couldn’t help but get emotional at the thought.

You blinked away your tears, quickly brushing your sensibility off as you didn’t want to worry or even irritate him. You could already sense that something was wrong the moment he sighed.

Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by your husband, “what’s wrong, baby?” he asked. He put the glass on the side table and started caressing your baby bump - a habit he developed during your first pregnancy, claiming this helped the bond between father and child. But you knew he also took it as an excuse to touch you.

The comfort you felt radiating off of Jay, gave you the courage to share your thoughts with him. Which is why your lips formed a pout and your eyes began to tear up on their own: “I’m just so happy and grateful that you’re the father of my children. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I were ever left alone pregnant and with a child.”

Jay felt his heart rip apart in two pieces. “Aw baby, don’t imagine stuff like that.” He put his other hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb, “I’ll always be there for you and our children.”

“Don’t cry, honey. Think of happy things, hm?” He put a chaste kiss on your lips. You nodded and smiled a little as you put your hands on both of his.

Jay was truly disappointed in himself.

How could I think of going out and having fun when my wife is all hormonal and crying at the thought of me leaving her? And not even a few weeks ago she fainted in my arms?

I have to take care of her and stay by her side until the baby is here and until she’s fully recovered, no matter what. He made a promise to himself.

“What are you thinking, Jjongie?”

His hand let go of your cheek, only to hold your hand in it, and while kissing the back of it, he murmured: “nothing, baby.”

You raised an eyebrow and squinted your eyes at that. “Just that I love you very much.”

You were still suspicious at his answer but chose to ignore it by changing the topic.

“Why are you still here? I thought they wanted to take you out tonight?” Jay raised his eyebrows at your question.

“Jungwon told me when he came yesterday,” you chuckled as you brushed away a loose strand falling right above his eye.

„I’m not going with them. I have you here, how could I go just like that? I’ll tell them to leave now so that we can cuddle,” he sent you a cute smile.

As tempting as it sounded, you couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “why? You always talk about them, Jjongie. You should go!”

This time Jay furrowed his eyebrows in surprise. “No, y/n, I’ve already decided that I’m not going,” he said firmly and with finality in his voice, “wait- I’m confused, I thought you’d be against it.”

“Why would I be against it?”

“You just said it yourself: you don’t want to be alone all pregnant and with a toddler?” he said more like a question than a statement, now unsure himself.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant like being alone forever and raising children on my own, not for a few hours,” you laughed at his silliness. “And speaking of toddler: why is he not sleeping yet, Jongseong? His crying woke me up. He’s probably all fussy and tired from the excitement of todays guests.“

Jay pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows in a cute manner, “he wanted to stay awake and play with his uncles… he missed them. So I let him, ok?”

You cooed at that, “aw, you probably didn’t want to tell him no because you also missed them,”

“hm.”

“Don’t be grumpy now.”

“’m not grumpy,” he sulked with a pout.

“You missed them a lot, didn’t you?”

Jay could only respond with a nod, not finding the words to speak.

“So you should go with them tonight!” You exclaimed excitedly as you pinched his cheek, “you’ll regret it otherwise.”

“I don’t know, baby. I- I’m scared. What if something happens to you while I’m gone? What if something is with Taesan and you can’t help him? He literally hurt himself just now!

When you fainted that day, you have no idea, I was so scared. I just happened to be there on time to catch you, otherwise you would’ve landed on the floor and could’ve hurt your head or the baby.”

“And,” Jay let out an amused scoff, “I really thought you’d also be against the idea of me going out and leaving you alone.”

“Whyyy?? Am I not a sweet wife who wants the best for her husband?” you said in a cutesy tone which melted his heart every time.

“I do understand your concerns but babe- listen,” you grabbed his face in your hands and looked directly in his eyes,

“after we visited the doctor, I already told you, I feel a lot better! Yes, sometimes, I don’t feel well but I stay in bed all the time! So nothing can happen, ok?” You squeezed his cheeks.

“So, let’s do this: I’ll go to the bathroom on my own and also walk the stairs on my own, this way you can see that I’ll be fine! You’ll put Taesan to sleep. And while you’re gone I’ll be in the living room, eating dinner and watching some drama. I won’t stand up until you’re back, ok?”

“Pinky promise?” Jay held his pinky after thinking for awhile. You smiled and let go of his face to lock your pinky with his: “Pinky promise. But only if you don’t try to check up on me while you’re away. No calls, whatsoever.” You squinted your eyes at him.

He squinted his eyes playfully back, making you laugh as you still held on to each other’s pinky.

“Ok. Deal.” He said after a short while.

You sealed it with a kiss.

“I love you.“

„I love you too, my overly concerned hubby.“

—

When you walked down the stairs, Jay did in fact not help you but was standing at the bottom watching every move, ready for - well, you didn’t know either but if it made him happy, so be it!

When you spotted Riki sitting on your couch, you saw that your son was sleeping in his arms. His tiny head laid on Rikis broad shoulder, wrapped in a blanket and tightly snuggled against his - you guessed it - ‘faworite uncwle’.

„Aw, did he get on your nerves Riki?“ You cooed as you caressed your sons hair lightly.

„Nah, this little man is alright. I could actually get used to him.“ He answered teasingly in a low tone as he laid his cheek against Taesans head, closing his own eyes to enjoy the moment.

——

Later that evening, when Jay came back, he settled beside you on the couch. Draping an arm around your shoulder, you cuddled onto his side.

„Was everything alright, babe?“ He caressed your baby bump softly.

„Hm, of course, Jjongie. How was your boys night?“

„It was fun,“ he smiled and for the first time after a while you saw that childish glimmer shining in his eyes.

„You look like you had a lot of fun.“

„Yes, I think I really would’ve regretted it.“

„See? Told you so,“ you smiled in victory.

„Hmm...” he nuzzled his nose against your cheek and closed his eyes, “you always know better.”

“Hey! Are you mocking me?”

“Nooo.”

“Jongseong!!” You frowned.

Jay let out a quiet, hearty chuckle, before he started pecking your cheek with a smile on his face. The hand that laid on your bump went to the other side of your face, holding it as close as possible - his eyes were still closed the whole time.

When he heard you giggle he trailed his kisses along your jaw and travelled further down to your neck. He placed a last kiss on your exposed shoulder before he nestled his face in the crook of your neck in satisfaction.

“I’m truly the luckiest man on earth that I married such an understanding partner,” he mumbled against your neck and brought his arm back to wrap it around your round stomach.

“I’m the lucky one,” you whispered back, trying to suppress the lump forming in your throat.

You placed a kiss on his forehead as you leaned further into him and rested your head against his. Your hands clasped his arm in-front of you as you closed your own eyes.

…

„I know you cleaned up the living room and the kitchen.“

„Only after you ‘accidentally’ called me.“

You both chuckled quietly.

*************************************************

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© youngheejay 2025 | do not repost or plagiarize.

[thecuriousbeauty]

Arguments and Cuddles-Harry Styles x reader

A/N:- Wanted to write this a few days ago, but I just couldn't get myself to write after all that has happened. Sending lots of hugs to everyone. Hope this acts a distraction to anyone who needs it right now.

Synopsis: Harry doesn't realize that you're sick when he starts an argument and takes care of you after. Some angst and fluff!

Word Count: 2k

_________________________________________

“y/n..” Your tall, lanky boyfriend makes grabby hands at you from the bed, snug and comfortable under the blanket. He didn’t want to fall asleep without you. You felt bad for making him wait, you really did, but you couldn’t go to bed without finishing your assignment. University has been stressing you out these days, what with two projects every week, along with other papers, studying and you even have to start filling out internship forms. 

“Five more minutes, baby, I’m so sorry..”, you turn back from the desk to tell Harry who was pouting at you, hoping to win you over with cuteness, which he already has. 

“It’s okay, love. I don’t mind waiting but it’s you I’m worried about. If you’re not here in my arms sleeping in the next ten minutes, no kisses for you tomorrow.”, he threatens, and smirks when you gasp. “That’s unfair!”

“You better hurry up then.”, Harry says, picking up his phone and settling back with his head on the pillow. It took you exactly seven more minutes to complete the assignment. 

“I’m done! You can’t deny me kisses now.” You keep your laptop away before falling into Harry’s open arms. You sigh as your head hits the soft pillow, and you realize just how exhausted you are when you feel your heavy eyelids. 

“I don’t think I ever can.”, Harry hums, chuckling as you snuggle into his chest like a little kitten seeking comfort. His arms hold you snug to his chest as his face lowers to press soft kisses to your hair and your cheeks. “I missed you.”

You know he didn’t just mean today. It’s been almost two weeks since you’ve been in this hectic schedule and you haven’t been able to see Harry as often. You’re either too tired or have lots of work to do after you get home from uni, so you haven’t been spending much time with your boyfriend. 

You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, your thumb stroking over his soft skin. “I’m sorry, babe. I miss you too. I  just have so much to do and-”, you sigh.

“-Hey, I understand love, know you’re working hard.”, he rubs circles onto your lower back and you almost moan at how good it feels. “I’m just worried about you. You barely sleep, barely eat during the day, step out of the house only to go to uni…”

“I do eat and sleep.”, you tell him, pecking his pink lips. “It’s gonna be hectic only for another week, the projects should be over by then.”

He hummed. “Would you be free tomorrow night? It’s Friday. Mitch and Sarah have been wanting to meet you.”

Mitch and Sarah were two of his best friends, and you’ve wanted to meet them too. Like he said, it was Friday, so you’d have time to catch up on your studies on Saturday and Sunday. Harry was just asking you, but you could see he really wanted you to go. You haven’t had a night out in a while too, so you agree. 

“Okay, I’ll meet them.”

Harry cheers, making you giggle and kiss his cheek. “They’re so excited to meet you! I love you.”

________________________________________________

You weren’t expecting to fall sick when you got up that morning. You did feel a little less energetic, but that was normal by now, so you brushed it off. You attended your classes, and when it was around lunch time, your throat was parched even though you kept sipping on water and your eyes were getting watery. 

You didn’t feel like eating, so you skipped lunch, which led to a headache and you were just feeling horrible when you got back home that day. You were relieved to be back, and you fell into bed immediately, not bothering to change. God, you hated being sick. It makes you so weak and you can’t get anything done. You take a small nap, hoping to wake up feeling better. 

You had kept an alarm to wake up an hour and a half before the time Harry said he would come to pick you up for the night out, but you slept right through it. You didn’t wake up even when Harry stepped into your flat, using your other pair of keys and called out your name. 

He was ten minutes late himself, and he was surprised to see that you weren’t ready yet. 

“y/n?”, he says. “Babe why aren’t you ready, we should be there in twenty minutes!”

You rub your eyes, slowly coming out of sleep. “Oh…shit.”, you remember when you see Harry already standing in front of you. “I s-slept through the alarm.”

“It’s fine, I’ll tell them we’ll be a bit late. You should get ready.”, Harry said, already pulling out his phone. 

You sit up, groaning as your muscles ache. Your head was throbbing, and you felt like your body was on your fire. You knew you wouldn’t make it through the night even if you tried.

“Harry? I think you should go alone, I’ll meet them some other time..”, you say softly. 

Harry bites his lip. “Seriously? You’re telling me now? I asked you last night, y/n!”

“I know I’m sorry, I just-”

“-I try to be understanding but it’s not gonna work if I’m the only one putting in effort, y/n. I didn’t tell you anything, I didn’t complain about you not spending time with me, I just asked if you could go out with me for one night and you can’t.”, Harry scoffs, walking back and forth. 

Your eyes well up with tears from your sickness, and Harry’s words. You get up, even though you felt like you would crumble like a sack of potatoes if you did. 

“Harry, I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“-No. I don’t want to hear it, y/n. I talk to them about you all the time and they were so excited to meet you, you know? Now you want to cancel. I don’t get it, what’s going to happen if you go out for one night?” He stops to look at you.

That’s when your head spins. You feel like the whole world is turning upside down and you reach a hand out to grip something, but you only found air. 

Harry was fuming, but he only then noticed that you weren’t looking too good. Your skin was pale and prickly with sweat, you were unsteady on your feet and your voice was breaking as you whimpered his name for help, “H-Harry.”

“Fuck.”, he cursed, and rushed to you, strong arms holding you before your knees gave out. You grip his sleeve as he makes you sit back down on the bed. “y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

You manage a weak hum in response. Harry’s hand cups your forehead, pressing your head back against his arm. “Jesus, you’re burning up. Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick?”

If you had the energy, you could have punched him. “Y-You didn’t give me the chance.”

“I’m an asshole.”, Harry muttered, green eyes washing over you with worry as he settles you back into bed. 

“You are.”, you agree, shivering as his cold fingers brush against your forehead, stroking back some of your hair. “I really wanted to go out too, you know. I should’ve let you know earlier that I was sick but I thought I could pull through..” You winced, bringing a hand up to your head. You always get bad headaches when you’re sick.

“Shh..did you take any medicine? Should I take you to the doctor?”, Harry asks, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

“No..think I’ll be fine, just gonna sleep. You should go.”, you said softly. 

“Leaving you like this alone? No. I’m gonna take care of you. I’ll call Mitch and let him know we can’t make it. We’ll do it some other time.” 

“I really am sorry. I-I was just trying to finish everything during the week so I could spend the weekend with you. Didn’t mean to make you upset, Harry.”, you whisper, and Harry shakes his head, stroking away a small tear that runs down your cheek with your thumb. 

“Don’t apologize, love, you did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You’re working hard to get where you want to be, and I’ll always support you. I should’ve realized you’re gonna get yourself sick.” He tsked, taking your hand and kissing your fingertips. “Do you forgive me?”

You smiled and nodded, leaning into his side as he wrapped an arm around you. “My poor baby. Are you sure you’re okay? Not dizzy right?”

“Yeah, I’m not dizzy anymore, think I just got up too fast.”, you mumble into his shoulder.

“I’ll get you some medicine and make you some soup. Then we’ll cuddle in bed for the rest of the night.”, Harry says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Tomorrow, when you’re feeling a bit better, we’re gonna make a proper schedule together, okay? I can’t have you feeling so stressed out and falling ill again.”

“Okay.”, you smile. Harry got out of bed and tucked the blanket over you. You curled up and closed your eyes. “Come back soon..”

“Promise I will.”

He found you some medicine and made you take it, then brought a cold cloth to your forehead. You flinched at the cold, and he hushed you softly, “Shh, relax sweetheart, we’ve gotta get your temperature down.” He lays the cloth across your forehead. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” 

After the initial cold, it did feel relaxing. You sigh and hum in agreement. You were getting drowsy again. Harry smiles and kisses your nose. “I’ll be back with your soup by the time you take a little nap.”

Harry wakes you up with a bowl of steaming hot soup after some time, and he helps you sit up, placing pillows behind your back. He slides into bed next to you, holding the tray that had the bowl of soup. 

He blows on a spoonful before bringing it to your lips, other hand cupping under your chin to catch any excess that dribbles down. “I tried my best, it’s my mum’s recipe.”, he says, eyes hopeful as you swallow it down.

The hot liquid was soothing for your sore throat, and the flavors were actually very nice. He raises his eyebrows in question. 

“It’s really good, thank you.”, you smile, pinching his cheek gently. A grin takes over his face as he brings up another spoon. “I can eat by myself, you know.”

“I want to feed you.”

Harry feeds you the rest of the soup while he talks to you,  then goes back to the kitchen to clear everything before falling in bed with you. 

“Did you eat?”, you ask, placing your head on his chest and looking up at him. 

“I did, sweet girl. While making your soup.”, he says, pressing a kiss to your hair, his fingers starting to massage your scalp. He chuckles when you let out a soft groan. 

“How’s your head now? Are you feeling a little better?”, he checks, his other hand running up and down your back. 

“Uh huh, think your soup’s got the magic.”, you whisper, eyes already starting to flutter close. Harry laughs, nudging his nose against your cheek. “I put some magic in it, it’s called love.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm, and it’s special, only for you.”, he says, pressing feather soft kisses against the side of your face. “Gonna nurse my girl back to health in no time.”

“I love you.”, you say, your hand tucking under his side as he pulls you closer. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“No need to thank me, gonna do it for the rest of my life.”, he promises, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I love you so much, y/n.”

You gasped. “What?”, he asks, worrying if you were going to throw up or something.

“You kissed me, idiot! Now you’re gonna get sick too.”

Harry laughs, taking your chin and giving you another kiss, making you slap his chest, playfully. “I’m big and strong, I don’t get sick.”

“Sure. I remember how you were being a big whiny baby last month when you had the flu.”

“Hush.”, he chuckles as you giggle, touching his forehead to yours. “Go to sleep, my giggly girl.”

____________________________________________

Taglist: -@livypops12352568 @harrydeary, @harryswifee, @harrysbxtchh, @gracelovesethan, @kiwitsayedsugar, @angeldavis777,@madstyles3204, @youngpastafanmug, @fruity-harry, @wannaliveinparadise

[lostinlovingrevery]

Beauty (18+)

Worst! Wolverine X Plus sized! Reader

Plot: You're a curvy girl, and a passing comment said to Logan pisses him off, leading him to show you just how beautiful he thought you were, as well as make sure you believe it too.

A/N: Don't look at me.

Warnings: Smut, a lot of smut, this whole thing is almost smut. PiV, unprotected sex, creampie, Reader is curvy/plus sized and described with stretch marks and large breasts and a belly, Logan is a a total dom but he's sweet about it, and sometimes a lil mean. Oral, (f! recieving), body worship and praise, logan gets a lil feral in the end, MDNI. I wrote this with Worst! Wolverine in mind, but honestly you could probably imagine any Logan. NOT proofread. I can't reread this filth.

Word Count: 3972

You and Logan were snuggling on the couch of your apartment. You were wearing one of his shirts, which was just a tad too big on your curvy body and you loved that. You both were spooning in a sitting position, with Logan behind you, his strong arms wrapped around you, as you both were focused on the tv, watching some old Clint Eastwood western flick that Logan seemed to enjoy.

You were enjoying the quiet time you were spending together, even if you really couldn’t find yourself to get into the old movie. Logan's arms moved around you, and you felt his hands move to your belly, lifting up your (his) shirt up, where he then grabbed at the folds of your stomach, kneading and squishing at them. It was something Logan had done before, and you never truly minded before, but for some reason it was annoying today.

“Lo, knock it off, It’s not funny.” You muttered, grabbing his hands to pull them off you. Alas, he was stronger than you, and he refused to allow his hands to be removed from something he considered his. 

“Funny?” He whispers slowly in your ear, “Who said anything about being funny?” 

You frowned, looking down at where his hands gripped at the plush of your belly. You were a bigger girl, you always have been most of your life. ‘Plus-sized’, ‘curvy’, whatever title you want to put on it, it's just how your body type was. You had large breasts, a soft round belly with faint stretch marks stretched across your skin, accompanied by love handles on your hips, your thighs, big and strong- enough to crush a man's head if you so desired. Not that you ever called it that, but your slightly insane, undiagnosed ADHD, loud, obnoxious, best friend, and neighbor Wade Wilson, who was the very person to introduce you to Logan, had described your thighs that way during a drunken game of UNO. You guys hadn’t even been on the topic of your body; much less anybody's body. Wade just blurted it out. You have come a long way in growing your confidence and loving yourself for who you are, not just your body, but your whole person. It didn’t mean you didn’t have your bad days though. Days where you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and cover yourself with large clothing to hide any trace of fat you carry. 

“You just don’t need to be squeezing everything and making it obvious.” You muttered, dropping your hands from his wrists in annoyance. You didn’t know why you were being so moody over it. 

Normally you enjoyed Logan touching you. Ever since you guys got together, Logan was always all over you, you don’t remember a moment where he didn’t have an arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, his hand resting on your thigh- and during the more private moments where you two were alone, he always was feeling you up, groping your breasts or ass, coming up behind you to hug you- and to rub his clothed dick against you so you could feel just how hard you make him. For some people, Logan’s constant need for physical touch may be annoying, but rarely have you ever found yourself pushing him away. It made you feel desired, especially when you had spent most of your life not feeling said desire. 

“I’m just touching what I love, baby.” He purred, leaning down and kissing along your shoulder, catching your grumpy tone. It should warm your heart, the way he expresses his love for you, but it only makes you feel moodier. 

“What is there to love?” You muttered under your breath, frowning. Logan's hands stopped his attack on your belly, and it suddenly hit you that you may have made a mistake saying that outloud. 

When you met Logan, to say you were immediately captivated by him is an understatement. Wade had introduced you, a “brother from another timeline” he described him as. Another one of Wade's adventures that you’ve learned to tune out because you always ended up more confused by the end of his tales. You immediately liked Logan, not just for his handsome face and hard muscles- though it certainly helped; but because of his way he seemed to be trying so hard to make things better for himself, to make positive changes and be a good man. He was always extra gentle when he talked to you, he made you feel seen and you with him as well. The crush you had on him developed quickly and you honestly never thought a man like him would give you a second glance. He was a superhero, he had a complicated life, thought battles you could never imagine. Guys like him don’t date girls like you, they date…other superheros. Women who were powerful, who sported thin and toned bodies. You were merely a humble lady, living your day to day life.

To your surprise though, Logan did like you. Now you’ve been together for a few months and you couldn’t be happier, save for the occasional struggles you both endure, you’ve found a way to overcome them together, and you could always appreciate how Logan, still being true to himself- still always tries. 

“Excuse me?” Logan's voice rose, as he moved to sit up and stare down at you, hard. You felt yourself cower under his stare, now unsure of what to say. 

“Well…” You tried to speak, swallowing a bit of air as you looked away. His hand came up, grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at him- the display of dominance immediately made you feel that warm wetness coat the area between your legs. 

“Are you doubting me, princess?” He says. “You think there ain’t nothing to love about you?” His eyes looked dark, and you saw that familiar lustful look flash in them. 

“I…I didn’t say that.” You say nervously. His fingers pressed into the skin of your jaw, gripping you tight as his eyes trailed over your face.

“I think you did.” He says. “Maybe it’s time to teach you a lesson about what I love about you-” he leaned, his lips brushing against your ear. “-and you’re going to fucking learn and take it like a good girl.” 

You gasped, when he let go of your jaw, shoving you down onto the couch, manipulating your body so you were on your back, as he placed himself between your thighs. He pressed himself against your clothed groin, and you could feel his length through his sweats- long and hard. 

“Should give you an idea of what you do to me.” He mutters as he grinds against you, making you squirm as you reach to grab his biceps. “Uh-uh-” He grabbed your wrists with both his hands, roughly pulling them above your head. “No touching until I tell you. You’re gonna sit, and pay attention.”

“Logan-” 

He grabbed your face with his large hand, his fingers and his thumb pressing into your squishy cheeks, making your lips pucker up as he squeezed, not hard enough to hurt. He leaned in, lips brushing over yours. “No. No arguments. You've pissed me off with that bullshit coming out of your mouth. I’m gonna take care of you, and make sure you ain’t never fucking doubt yourself- or me again, got it?” 

You swallowed, before nodding as you stared up at him with wide eyes. Your nerves were alight, and you could feel your clit practically throbbing- begging for attention as Logan pressed himself against your legs. He kept hold of your wrists in one hand, while his other moved to your (his) shirt, roughly pulling it up, exposing your breasts and belly. 

“Fuck.” He groaned as his eyes took in your curvy figure. He didn’t know what or why you didn’t like it about yourself, why that when you looked in a mirror on your bad days, you pulled and squeezed the fat of your skin as if it was a bad thing. It could be farther from the truth. Logan looked at you and saw a fucking goddess. He loved the way your tits jiggled with every movement, round and soft, hypnotizing him and making him look like he was the biggest pervert when he couldn’t help but stare at them, whether you were alone or in public, but it’s not his fault, they’re just so loveable. He loved how your body curved, from your waist to your hips, with that plush belly of yours- that he’d rest his head on when you guys snuggled, making him feel like he was in the safest place on Earth, feeling the rise and fall of your breathing. Kneading at your belly was a comfort to him, it grounded him to where you both were in that moment, feeling you underneath him, living and breathing, soft and warm. You don’t know the countless nights he’d spent alone for years, craving for any ounce of love, and it would break your heart if he told you that. 

He bit his lip, as he brought one hand to your tit, slowly groping and squeezing it, giving it a little shake, before softly smacking at it- making you whimper. He grinned devilishly, as his hand took in the softness of it, the way it filled his large hand perfectly. He leaned down, sticking his tongue out and slowly running circles against your nipple, quickly making it hard, before he nipped at it.. You squirm underneath him, desperate for more, but he was taking his time, savoring every inch of your breasts, giving each the same amount of attention as he fondled them. “Love these fucking things. Love that you let me play with them whenever I want.” He groaned as he licked a nipple, making you arch your back into him. 

Your face was burning hot, your cheeks flushed pink, and you felt breathless already by the worship he committed to your tits. By the time he was finished with them, they were covered in bite marks, hickeys, and spit slicked. You had a burning between your thighs desperate for him to touch, but he wasn’t there yet. He looked up at you, your eyes pleading with him to get on with it, but he grinned, something borderline evil and perverted. Letting go of your wrists, he grabbed both your hands, placing them over your breasts.

 “Go on baby, play with me. See how fun it is.” He purred. You swallowed a gasp, becoming embarrassed by his words and how he was making you touch yourself. His large hands over yours led you, making you grip your breasts, moving them in slow circles, until he used his fingers, interlocked with yours, making you rub circles onto your nipples, further pushing them into overstimulation as you gasped and whined, wanting to stop, but the longer he made you go on- the better it felt. “See princess? See why I like them so much?”

You swallowed hard and nodded, he hummed, leaning down to peck your lips before sitting back up. He let go of your hands, “keep playing with em baby.” He coos, as his hands begin sliding up and down your sides, as he squeezed and pinched your chub. You nodded, following his orders and continued fondling your tits. He clicked his tongue. “I don’t get how you couldn’t like this.” He says, shaking his head. “Drives me insane, ‘specially when you wear those tight ass shirts, I can see all your beautiful curves.” he purred. His large hands moved over your belly, squeezing the skin together to make rolls, “So fucking soft bub..” He leaned down, pressing kisses all over your belly while he kneaded at them, like a cat on a warm blanket. His lips pressed against each of your belly, from your midsection, down to your pelvis. He took his time, making sure you felt each flutter of his lips against your skin, before he switched to biting you, taking you between his teeth and sucking your skin against his tongue. You yelped the first time he did it- surprised after he had committed such gentle touches to your skin. His hands slide over your sides, to your back and down to your ass, where he began squeezing at the large flesh there. 

Logan hadn’t even made you cum yet, but you felt like you were on cloud 9. Each touch, squeeze, pinch, the press of his lips, the sting of his teeth, made you feel otherworldly, alongside with his sweet words of worship, making every bad thought you had of your body fly out of your mind. How could you when the man was making you feel so much pleasure in your skin, even when he hadn’t fucked you yet? 

“Cmon, cop a feel.” He urges, motioning to your belly. You swallowed, sliding your hands off your breasts, and over your belly. Embarrassment began to creep in as you felt his eyes watching you, knowing if you didn’t do what he wanted you most certainly were going to pay for it. You knew what he wanted you to do, as you began to press and slide your hands all over yourself, softly and sensually- touching yourself- feeling yourself, and you began to see just what Logan was talking about. You were soft, there was a comfort in feeling your skin underneath your hands, something grounding you in this moment. 

Logan smiled warmly down at you, before he lowered himself down farther, his hands still cupping your ass, he pressed his nose against your cloth mound, taking a deep inhale to make you gasp. “Goddamn, you smell so fucking good. You’re soaked too.” He mutters, his tongue coming out to lick your soaked panties. He let out a hard and deep groan that sent shivers at your spin. Turning his head, he began licking and nipping at your inner thighs, his hands sensually rubbing over your thighs and ass. He pressed his cheek against your inner thigh, closing his eyes as he continued to take deep inhales of your scent. His scruffy beard scratched at your skin, but it only added to the pleasure of his touch. You so badly wanted to reach out, curl your fingers into his hair, to tug at them and push him against your pussy, where you so desperately needed him. Nonetheless, you waited, knowing he’ll give you what you want soon. 

He moved from your thigh, making eye contact with you as he moved forward up to bite the hem of your panties, he slowly pulled them down your legs, pushing your legs up with him as he sat up to fully tear off your panties, not breaking eye contact once. The whole action made you giggle, as sensual as it was. He grinned, dropping that dominant demeanor for a moment,

“You liked that baby?” He asks and you laugh again, unsure of how to answer it. It only told him that yes, yes you did. He hums, he grabs your hand again, bringing it down to your now bare cunt. “Good. Now I want you to feel how good this pretty pussy is.”

Your breath hitched. The mouth on this man was unbelievable. 

“Go on princess.” He says, watching as you slowly dip your fingers into your wet folds, sliding them through, giving you much needed relief as your head tipped back onto the couch. “That's it.” He growled slowly, his eyes watching how you move your hands, and you could hear the need in his voice. You looked up and could see the desire on his face, how much he was holding back. It was a look that always came across his face when you guys were together. You still remember the first time, he was like an animal and fucked you within an inch of your life, learning afterwards that it had been quite a long time for him, and you apparently drove him insane anyway. 

He grabbed your hand once you got your fingers soaked to his desire, and brought it to his mouth, sucking on your fingers with a groan, before leaning down over you and kissing you with tongue. “Taste how good you are?” He murmured against your lips. You let out a small whimper,

“Lo- please-” You muttered, raising your hips to grind against his crotch. He grinned. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his lap, before he fell down onto his back now, and his hands urged you upwards. “Lo-?”

“Cmon,” He smacked your ass, making you yelp. “Get up here.” 

“What- No-” You stammered, realizing what he wanted. 

“I don’t recall asking sweetheart.” He says gruffly, “Get the fuck on my face, now.”

Anyone else, you would’ve smacked them for talking to you like that. Logan though, you’d gladly listen. And you did.

You moved on top of his face, anxiety swelling you over your weight on him. 

“Lo, what if I suffocate you?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way- fuck, she’s just drooling for me, ain’t she?” He groans, eyes trailing over your wet pussy. “Plus, I can’t die. Now get down here.” 

“I-”

His hands grabbed your hips, and shoved you down onto his face, his tongue swiping between your folds. It elicited a squeal of surprise from you, and you could feel him chuckling as he practically drank in your essence. His hands encouraged you to move your hips, and you obliged, riding his face. You could feel his beard scratching your thighs, his nose would rub against your clit as his tongue fit inside your pulsing hole, sending waves of ecstasy through you.

“Getting close bub?” You heard him say, and you felt his fingers tease the entrance of your cunt, and you nodded, your hands gripping the arm of the couch and you kept riding against his face. “Tell me you’re beautiful.” He says, teasing your entrance, while he licked a long stripe across your folds to your clit.

“Baby-” You whined. 

“Do it,” he growled. “Or I'm not gonna let you cum.”

“Logan!” You moaned in reply, desperate to reach your peak. 

“I didn’t tell you to say my name darling, as pretty as it sounds coming out of your mouth.” 

You gasped as you felt one finger going inside, as he curled it, before taking your swollen bud in his mouth and sucking. Your nails dug into the arm of the couch, as you will yourself to do what he says. He brought another finger inside you, stretching you out, before thrusting in and out at a fast pace- leaving your thighs shaking. 

“I- I-” You stammered. “I’m beautiful- oh!” 

He continued his relentless pace, as you could feel him becoming more and more desperate for your release. 

“I’m beautiful-” You say again, and the tight feeling finally snaps, as your release floods his face, waves of tight pleasure overran your body, causing you to completely freeze, before you go slack, trying to push yourself off his face- but his hands instead kept you there, as he licked the mess from between your legs, pushing you to the edge of overstimulation. “Lo- I can’t-” Your hand went to his head, in an attempt to push him off but instead you heard a growl, and before you knew it you were on your back again, Logan still in between your legs. 

“I'll tell you when you’re done.” He says roughly. He sat up on his knees, “You looked beautiful like that sugar, but honestly I don’t think you meant it when you said you were beautiful.” 

You were panting, trembling underneath him, and honestly you weren’t sure if you could take more. 

“Cmon baby.” He muttered. He pulled you down towards him, as he slipped down his sweats. Your eyes trailed from his hair, to that thick vein traveling down to his hard length. It didn’t matter how often you saw Logan naked, full erect- it still shocked you by just how delicious his cock looked every time. You felt your mouth water. He took his member in hand, the red swollen and covered in pre-cum, as he moved down to rub between your folds, bumping against your clit and making you moan. 

“Lo please-” You reached out for him, and he allowed you to press your hands on his chest. Every slick thrust in your folds made your body jump, overstimulating you as you felt your pleasure build once more. 

“I want you to tell me every beautiful part of yourself, body and soul. Then I’ll give you what you want.”

You felt heat rushing on your face. “I…I don’t know what to say-”

“Sure you do baby.” He groans. “Cmon, tell me. I’m fucking hurting over here.” 

You gasped, as you searched your foggy mind. 

“My...Stretch marks.” You manage. He grinned, 

“Keep going.” He pushes, still thrusting his length through your folds, eliciting wet and slick noises through the room. 

“My thighs.” 

“Fuck yeah.” 

You continued listing several more things about your body that you truly did like about yourself. It was then, he finally graced with the pleasure, slowly pushing his swollen tip into your hole- making you cry out. 

“You were a good princess.” He muttered. “Sit back and enjoy, I’ll take care of you.” 

He thrusted, bottoming out inside you, before leaning over you, hands on either side of your head. His whole body practically enveloped you, as he began thrusting in and out, a slow pace at first, allowing you to adjust to his cock, before he picked up speed, grunting with each thrust. 

Your legs and arms wrapped around his large body, as you felt the muscles of his back tighten and ripple under you. You remember the first time you saw him shirtless and ashamedly gawked at him. You’d never seen a man so magnificently sculptured the way he was, perhaps that what led you to be so self conscious of your body- not because of him making you feel that way, but your thoughts led you to believe someone like you could never deserve him. Logan, of course, proves you wrong every day. 

“You’re so fucking tight, I can feel you squeezing around me doll.” He groaned as he continued his endless thrusts, sending you careening as you arch your back into him. He moved to capture your lips in a messy kiss, biting your bottom lip almost hard enough to bleed, before dragging his tongue across it to soothe the sting. 

“Oh- don’t stop!” You whimpered. Your hips began to pick up his relentless pace, and he kept going until he grabbed your hips, pinning them to the couch, and fucked into you hard and fast. It felt like you were being used as a sex toy for his pleasure, as he tipped his head back, growling and grunting- almost animalistic. His hair was a mess, his teeth bared and his face scrunched in concentration. 

The tight rope in your belly snapped, and waves of pleasure ran over you- almost painfully, as you squeezed around his length tight, making him grunt, now just rutting into you, his hips grinding against yours, and fucking you through your orgasm. His hips snapped back one more time, before thrusting up into you and spilling his warm release inside, you could feel him twitching inside you, as he grinded against you, spurting out every last bit of his release inside you, before carefully pulling out. His face collapsed into your chest, as you both painted, attempting to catch your breath, your skin sweaty and flushed. 

He looked up at you, mouth slightly open, and eyes full of devotion and you smiled, bringing your hands up to cup his face. 

“You’re so beautiful.”

[moonchildstyles]

angel getting high for the first time 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

cw: drug use! its only weed, nothing heavy but if that makes you uncomfortable please skip :)

wordcount: 11.8k+

—————

(Y/N) kicked her legs in the air as she laid tummy down on her bed. She listened to the ringing from the phone pressed to her ear, waiting for a familiar voice to answer. 

In the middle of the third ring, her hopes were answered when a click sounded. Muffled background noise started through the speaker, accompanying a honeyed drawl.

"Hi, lovebug," Harry murmured, his speech seemingly slower than normal. 

"Hi," she chirped through her smile. Her feet kicked in the air, free hand coming up to twirl her hair around her index finger. "What are you doing?" 

A random burst of laughter bubbled through the other line, distant from the phone though it was still loud. "'M on the phone, be quiet," Harry reprimanded, voice far from the receiver before he returned with a decided softer tone, "Nothing, jus' trying to watch a movie with Mitch. What about you, baby?" 

"Just in bed," she mused, "I wanted to call before I went to sleep. Did you want me to let you go since you're with Mitch?" 

Since deciding on moving in together once their respective leases expired, (Y/N) had been making a point to spend more time with Sarah while she was still so close. She didn't want to get in the way if Harry was trying to do the same. 

"No, no, I wanna talk to you, 's alright," he assured her, "How was your day?" 

It was still sweet to (Y/N) the way that she could text him all day long, telling him everything about her day, and he still would ask her a question like this. He told her once that he likes hearing her voice, even if he already knows what she's telling him. 

"It was alright," she said, rolling to lay on her back, looking up at her ceiling, "I turned in that paper that I was working on last weekend, so that's all done. The library was super quiet today, though, I almost fell asleep in the philosophy section." 

A small laugh sounded from Harry. "Did y'really?" 

"Yeah," she sighed, a smile curling her lips, "Elizabeth had to come entertain me. But, what about you? You did that big piece today, right?" 

"Yeah, the thigh piece," he said, voice thick, "She was a nice girl, but I had a headache by the time we took the first break. She liked to talk a lot. M'hand's been cramping since lunch." 

A pout landed on (Y/N)'s lips. She hated hearing about those kinds of details from Harry's job. She had always figured it was so fun and glamorous, easy and fulfilling. She had never thought about the physical toll of drawing and shading and designing all day long. 

"Oh, no," she hummed, instinctively rolling her wrist and curling her fingers as if she could take his pain from miles away. "Did you take anything to help?" 

"Kind of. Mitch and I have been relaxing since he got home." 

She knew exactly what that meant. Though Harry tended to keep this specific hobby of his separated from her, set on the back burner away from the time he spent with her, she knew better. Besides, she had found that little bag in his dresser months ago, she wasn't completely clueless (of course, he did have to explain what she had found to her, but that was a different story). 

That would explain why time seemed to be moving a little bit slower on the other end of the phone, and the boisterous laughter Mitch was sharing in the background. 

"Have you been smoking?" she asked, voice quiet. She always felt a bit silly bringing this up to him, unsure of what terms to be using and what meant what exactly. 

"A little bit, yeah," he affirmed, "Sorry. I didn't know you'd be calling. I wouldn't have if I knew you wanted to talk tonight." 

Shaking her head despite the fact he couldn't see her, (Y/N) rushed her protests. "No, no, don't be sorry. I don't mind, you know that. As long as you're happy and you guys are being careful." 

"Always am, baby." 

A heat bubbled in her chest at his words. While he never did it around her, there were times that she called him or he FaceTimed her before bed when he was under the influence and his voice drawling just a little deeper, sitting heavier in his chest, hit her just perfectly. She could imagine the way his eyes were a bit hooded, his tongue sticking around his words, the easy smiles that spread across his face for no other reason than he liked the feeling. 

She wondered what he looked like in the act. Was it like the movies with lavender smoke and pieces of blown glass with intricate details? Or did he make his own little rolls, hanging from his lips like a cigarette? 

Mitch's loud laugh on the phone brought her back to reality, blinking her back to her room and Harry's static on the other end of the phone. Harry gave a muffled response before his own laughter joined his best friend's, the sound drawling and breezy. 

When he returned to the phone, she could hear the lingering smile in his tone. "I think Mitch found a movie for us to watch, love." 

"What is it?" she asked, feeling the end of the phone call nearing. She would have to settle for spraying the stuffed bunny he gifted her for Valentine's Day with a sample of his cologne for her to cuddle for the night. 

"I don't even know," he laughed, "but, I think 's gonna be funny. I think 'm gonna have to make us food, though, so I don't think I can talk for much longer." 

"That's okay. Have fun with Mitch and I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?" 

"Right," he affirmed, voice soft, "Sleep well, lovebug. I'll call you during my lunch." 

"Okay," she sighed, fitting her cheek against her pillow, "I love you." 

"I love you more, baby," he cooed, "Goodnight." 

An exaggerated kiss noise sounded through her phone, pulling a loud peal of laughter from (Y/N)'s lips. He never really did that when he was around his friends, only putting on the show when he was calling her in private. She thought it was very sweet. 

"Goodnight," she laughed, pressing the red button before she became too spoiled with his shenanigans and tried to keep the call going. 

Setting her phone on her nightstand, she snuggled into her comforter, a throw blanket covering her body instead of her duvet. Pulling her studded bunny from the fringes of her bed, (Y/N) nestled her cheek against the soft fluff. The sown still smelled of Harry's house from the last time she had spent the night, bringing her back to what he was doing in her absence. 

The mystery surrounding his activity of choice for the day is what flicked her curiosity. She'd seen a few movies with marijuana being an uncredited character along with a couple of books with the high feeling being described, but she had never been exposed to anything substantial in real life before she moved away from her parents. Even then, she still hadn't experienced more than the herbal scent that inevitably clung to apartment complexes so close to a university campus and the few bleary eyed classmates she had to work with. 

Specifically, she wondered what Harry was like when he was in that state. Those classmates of hers always seemed disconnected, tired, and in their own head. Was Harry the same way? Did he act the way he did when he drank a little bit too much wine? Or was he wild and excitable like those in the movies? Or sleepy like she had read in her books? 

What would she be like? 

The idea followed her behind her shuttered eyes, her mind going a bit floaty the closer she sunk into sleep. 

—————

"Sarah, have you ever... smoked weed before?" 

The words felt silly falling from (Y/N)'s mouth. Was that even the correct term? She didn't know, but she kept her attention on the food she was making in front of her, hoping Sarah wouldn't notice. 

"Yes," she answered with a suspicious drawl, sweeping through the apartment with a laundry basket on her hip, "Why?" 

(Y/N) only shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been thinking about it." She paused, tipping her head. "What does it feel like?" 

"Smoking?" Sarah pressed. 

"Yeah," (Y/N) chirped, feeling shy that she was even breaching this conversation. "Or, like, being high. Is it like the movies?" 

"A little bit," Sarah mused, folding her laundry on the dining room table into neat piles. "It's not as dramatic or crazy, but it can feel that way sometimes. It depends on the person. Everyone's different." 

Rolling her lips, (Y/N) nodded her head. She chanced a look over her shoulder at her friend, slowing her stirring. "What are you like?" 

Sarah shrugged, a crease between her brows as she thought. "I haven't smoked in a while, but I used to get really tired. It always depended on what kind we had, but I usually got really tired." 

Is that what Harry did? Did he get sleepy, like some of her classmates? Did he nod off during the movie he and Mitch watched the other night? 

"When was the last time?" (Y/N) asked, hoping Sarah didn't cut her off. She was genuinely curious, she hoped she wasn't prodding and poking past her welcome. 

"Maybe a year ago? Could have been longer," Sarah answered. "I was with Mitch so it wasn't too long ago." 

Fixing her attention back on the stirring of the soup she was making for their dinner, she tried to act casual as she spoke. "W-Was Harry there, too?" 

"Harry?" 

(Y/N) could hear the smile in Sarah's voice as she realized where (Y/N)'s curiosity was stemming from. She never tired of teasing just a little over how in love she was with her Harry. (Y/N) only hummed a confirmation, keeping her voice to herself. 

"He wasn't there the last time, but he did used to smoke with us sometimes," Sarah explained, sounding a little too amused as she spoke, "Why?" 

Shrugging, (Y/N) pretended as if she wasn't intrigued at the info Sarah could share. "No reason really. Was it fun? With Harry and Mitch and all?" 

"(Y/N)," Sarah sighed, her voice floating through a smile, "C'mon." 

Stopping her distracting task, she turned to face Sarah who was looking at her with that knowing smile she somehow always had when it came to (Y/N)'s secrets. She was an open book as her friend could tell. 

"What?" (Y/N) feigned nonchalance as if she hadn't already been caught. 

"Did Harry say something? Is that why you're asking about all of this?" Sarah poked, her features set in a gentle tease. 

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth she canted her head, eyes dropping to where Sarah's hands had stalled her folding. "Not exactly," she started, "He just... I don't know, I called him the other night and he was with Mitch and they had been smoking, he told me. I know he's done it a few times since we started dating, but I've just been thinking about it since then." 

Sarah hummed, nodding her head as she listened. "I get it," she said, "I know he doesn't do it around you or anything, right?" (Y/N) only shook her head. Popping her hip with a furrow appearing in her brow as she cast her mind back in search of answers for (Y/N)'s previous questions. "I wouldn't say it's exactly like the movies," Sarah continued, "But it depends on the person and the strain, and things like that. I usually get pretty tired and hungry, Mitch is like the movies sometimes—loud and everything is funny—, and Harry gets really lovey and lazy. None of us really make much sense, though." 

(Y/N) tried to picture it. Lavender smoke in the air, Harry lazing about with hearts in his eyes, Mitch laughing about nothing, and Sarah passed out in the corner with a pillow under her cheek. A pinch appeared between her brows as she tried to see where she would sit amongst those characters. 

"What do you think I'd be like?" 

Blinking, Sarah brought her gaze to her friend. She pursed her lips as she took in (Y/N). 

"I don't know. It's not the same as being drunk, so I don't know if you'd be as excitable." Sarah contemplated for a moment longer. "I don't really know, honestly. Are you thinking about finding out?" 

She could only shrug. A similar anxiety she felt around alcohol before she broke that barrier still surrounded this, if even a bit heightened given the fact the substance was still very much taboo in her life. There were so many scary, over-exaggerated out there about marijuana, along with the fact that it was still very much taboo in (Y/N)'s life. The use of it seemed to be something that was only done in private and kept as a secret for some people. She was worried that if she found out why, she would regret it. 

Though, there were those puffing thoughts in the back of her mind that begged to differ. It couldn't be that bad. Harry, Mitch, and Sarah were three of her favorite people in the whole world. They weren't devilish burnouts with a one-track lifestyle taking them down the drain, like horror stories and PSA's liked to project. They were good people who sometimes indulged in extra relaxation when they had the chance and the mindset to do so. There was nothing wrong with that. 

"You could ask H, if you wanted. You know he'd answer anything you wanted to know." 

"I know," (Y/N) drawled, unsure despite the fact she knew Sarah was telling the truth. "You don't think he'd be annoyed or anything? I know he keeps it all separate from me for a reason, so I don't want to make him upset." 

Sarah leveled her gentle gaze on (Y/N)'s face. "I think he does it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. It's different than drinking wine with him and things like that, so I bet he just doesn't want to scare you." 

(Y/N) shook her head, "He couldn't scare me, though. He's too nice." 

"To you," Sarah clarified, her smile soft and teasing, "You know he just worries about you and all of that. You wouldn't upset him if you wanted to know more about anything he does."

He did love teaching and showing her things, she knew that. 

"I'll think about it," (Y/N) settled.

"Good," Sarah smiled, grabbing her stacks of folded laundry, "Is dinner ready?" 

"Almost," (Y/N) chirped, adding a little bit of extra seasoning to the pot, "I just need to add the noodles. It'll probably be ready by the time you're done putting everything away." 

Sarah gave a small cheer, stacks of clothing now rehomed in the laundry basket to be returned to her room. "Thank you," she sung, "We should watch that yacht show when we sit down, don't you think?" 

Perking up at the suggestion, (Y/N) quickly nodded her head. "That sounds perfect!" she smiled, mellowing some as she turned her attention to her swirling soup base, "And, thank you for answering everything, by the way. It always helps me." 

"I know, that's why I do it," Sarah settled, reaching out to squeeze (Y/N)'s arm gently before she swept away. 

Left in the silence of the kitchen with only the simmering soup, (Y/N) felt a little bit lighter. Some of her questions were answered even if she had more she wanted to hear from Harry directly. More than anything, she was a little enamored at the idea that Harry was loving and lazy under the influence. She already had a small idea given that she had seen how easy and bubbly he became when he drank, but she'd never seen him really slow down the way she pictured it in her head. 

She wanted to see just how lovey he became, if she was being honest. She already had the privilege of experiencing the affectionate side of him, she wondered just how much higher that volume would be kicked to if he had been smoking. What if he really did have hearts in his eyes?

The thought brought a quiet smile to (Y/N)'s face.

Maybe, she really would have to ask him. 

—————

"What are you thinking for dinner, my love?" 

(Y/N) puckered her lips to reciprocate the small kiss Harry gave her as he traipsed by the couch. Her eyes followed the broad of his back as her made his way towards the kitchen. With her hands folded on the arm of the sofa, she rested her cheek on her forearm, kicking her legs up behind her as she watched him.

"Whatever you want, I'm okay with," she told him, voice soft and easy. 

"Yeah?" he prodded, looking over his shoulder as he washed his hands in the sink, "Even if I didn't feel like making dinner tonight and decided to order sushi instead?" 

"Sushi?" (Y/N) bubbled, "From the new place?" 

Harry nodded, dimples thumbed into his cheeks. "I figured we could try it out tonight, if that was alright." 

"Yes, please," she beamed, her grin only widening when came around to join her in the common area after drying his hands. 

His lip ring bobbled as he matched her smile, using a gentle hand to push a stray strand of hair from her eyes. "Why don't you pull up the website for us while I put my sketches away, and find what y'like. Then we'll order, yeah? 

Despite the long hours he worked at the shop this past weekend, he looked as gorgeous as ever to (Y/N). He lacked eyeliner after wiping it off as soon as he made it home, but his eyes were still the star of the show against his creamy skin. A fresh bee tattoo stood out on the column of his throat, the mosaic wings following the line of his jaw amongst the rose bush filler he had inked across the skin. With the way he stood over her, she got the perfect view of his spiraling curls and the cut planes of his face complete with his glimmering nose stud and lip ring. 

She nodded her head in a lovey daze. "I can do that." 

Amusement flickered in his eyes as he looked down at her. He dipped to her level to press a lingering kiss to the tip of her nose. "Thank you, baby," he murmured, moving away to gather the art supplies he was working with, "I'll be right back." 

Pulling out her phone, (Y/N) searched up the restaurant up while her mind was still on Harry. 

While the questions she had for him were still in the back of her mind, it was too easy to become distracted with him. They weren't apart for a long time by any stretch of the imagination, but even spending a long, four-day weekend away from one another allowed enough fondness to grow between them to keep her mind from wandering very far from what was right in front of her. Besides, Harry barely let her get a word in since she stepped foot in his home, having tugged her to his bedroom with his lips pressed to hers, only breaking for breath. 

She'd ask him at some point, she was sure. If she had the mind to after dinner. 

Browsing through the menu for a few minutes, (Y/N) found the rolls she was interested in, picking things she had a feeling Harry would like and finding other little gems on the website that she would mention in hopes of getting his opinion on. She searched through the site, trying to find an option to order online with no luck, the browser rerouting her to the main page every time she tried to plug into the ordering site. 

"H?" she called, realizing he still hadn't come back from resetting his utensils. 

"Yes?" he answered back, still in the bedroom, "What do y'need, love?" 

Instead of responding, she stood from the couch and moved towards his room, brows knitted and phone screen bright in her hand. "The website isn't working—it won't let me order," she explained, stepping over the threshold to his room. 

Lifting her head, she saw him standing at his dresser, back to the door with his head angled down and hands fiddling across the top of his dresser. He looked over his shoulder at her, his hands slowing. 

"Give me a second, and I'll take a look," he told her, "I'm still cleaning up—forgot I left some things out." 

"Oh?" she sounded, stepping towards him with her phone being slid back into her pocket, "Do you want any help?" 

Growing close enough, she peered around him to see what he was working on. Instead of spotting the graphite and colored pencils she figured she'd find, she instead saw tiny green buds splaying across the wooden surface with a pair of loose pieces of thin paper and a tall black canister. Harry worked quickly to clean up the mess, majority of the green flakes having been scooped up and replaced in the container though he was struggling to wrangle the remains back into their container. 

"'S alright," he murmured, shifting just enough to cut her view of the space, "'M almost done." 

Rolling her lips between her teeth, she rocked on her heels as she stayed put. Before she could think better of her words, they were already spilling from her mouth: 

"Is that weed?" 

She cringed at the sound of her voice wrapping around something so outside of her vocabulary. It sounded better in her head.

Harry's hands slowed, stilling before he looked over his shoulder at her. A sliver of his workspace was once again revealed at the small shifting. 

"What was that?" he pressed, his question seemingly heavy between the two of them. 

She said the wrong thing, didn't she? (Y/N) dropped her gaze from his, settling on the new bumblebee on his neck instead. 

"I ask if that was your... you know," she trailed off, hating the sound of her floundering almost more than just saying the word outright, "That's weed, right?" 

Feeling Harry's gaze trail over her, (Y/N) tried not to squirm. 

"It is, yeah," he muttered, "I didn't realize I left it out. 'M sorry."

Darting her eyes up to match his once more, she tipped her head to the side. "Why are you sorry?" 

Turning away from the dresser entirely, Harry faced her directly. He gave her a small shrug. "I don't like leaving it out when you're here. I meant to clean it up before y'came over, but I forgot." 

"You know I don't mind," she reminded him, "You don't have to be sorry." 

A gentle smile curled his lips, only a single dimple in his cheeks as he looked at her. 

"Thank you, love," he started, "Let me clean up, I'll wash m'hands again, and then I'll—" 

"What does it feel like?" 

(Y/N) could feel her skin simmering in embarrassment as her tumbling question fell from her mouth before she had a chance to police the words. Everything she had been too distracted to ask him came flooding back then, unable to be stopped now that she saw the opportunity. 

"Sorry," she peeped, realizing how abruptly she had cut him off.

He waved her off, "'S alright." He watched her with attentive eyes, catching each of her expressions and minute movements. "What does what feel like?" 

There was no going back now, she figured. 

"Being high," she peeped, "What does it feel like?" 

While he didn't seem to understand where her line of questioning was coming from, or understood her sudden curiosity in his private hobby, he didn't dissect any further. 

Harry rolled his neck, pursing his lips. "It's different for everyone," he started, much the same as Sarah had, "It depends on the kind you smoke, too." 

"But what does it feel like for you?" she rattled off, her words coming quick. Her hands were a busy bundle at her waistline, looking at him with curious eyes. 

A small tug on the corner of his lip had a lopsided smile sparking on his mouth. "It depends, like I said, on what kind, but I usually like it best when m'hands hurt. It helps numb it long enough for the cramping to go away," he mused, "But, other than that, it makes me tired—but not enough to sleep. I jus' want to do nothing but sit and eat. I also get very touchy; lots of cuddling with pillows and whining about not being with you." 

He had to have known that his last comment would get her lips splitting into a sheepish smile, (Y/N) dropping her head to fix her gaze at their feet. It was still a little wild to her that Harry thought about her as often as she did him, even when she wasn't right in front of him.

"You feel like that every time?" 

"Mostly, yeah," he shared, "Sometimes I feel like sketching, or I fall asleep right away. Back when Mitch and I would go out a lot, I used to be really hyper—doing stupid shit because I wasn't afraid of anything. I've definitely calmed down since then." 

"Oh," she sounded. (Y/N) couldn't imagine Harry being reckless, getting himself into trouble that way—but, this was the same man that apparently received his first tattoo at a mechanic's garage by a very amateur artist. He was capable of anything, she guessed. 

"Why do you want to know, love?" he asked, tipping his head with a spiral of his curl falling over his shoulder. 

She attempted to act as nonchalant as possible, giving a shrug of her shoulders despite her lips being rolled between her teeth. "I don't know," she answered, "I've just been thinking about it, I guess." 

"Yeah? Is that all y'wanted to know?" 

While there had to have been hundreds of questions that could come to mind, everything from what he and Sarah meant when they specified reactions were based on the strain or kind of weed that was being consumed, to what skunks vs. dank meant when it came to the herb, she didn't know where to start. Though there was one thing she was wanting to know, beyond just the details of what it would be like to see a clingy, lovey Harry. 

"What do you think I'd be like?" she asked, her words coming out in a rush before she could rethink them.

Harry's gaze was warm on her face as he examined her. Amusement sparked in his eyes. 

"I don't know, but I have a feeling you'd be a little bit like Mitch," he explained, "I think you'd be excited about everything. But, I'd hope you'd be a little like me just because I like the idea of you being clingy and warm, too." 

She liked that idea, too. It was easier this time to add herself to the picture of Harry, Mitch, and Sarah, superimposing herself at Harry's side with her own hearts in her eyes and her hands tangled with his. (They could sneak kisses, too, if she caught the bug of no fear like he used to have).

"Could—Can I—... I think I want to try, if that's alright," she stuttered, unable to find the right words before just letting something roll off her tongue. 

Harry's silence was heavy between them, the lilypad of his irises setting on her. "You want to try smoking?" 

Starting with a soft nod, she tried to find that reckless bubbling that had carried her this far. "I think so, yeah." A beat passed. "If that's alright." 

When he didn't immediately say anything, she chanced a peek up at him to find his eyes fixed on her, gentle and melting as he took her in. He opened his arms for her when he caught her eye, his features softened and warm. "C'mere." 

(Y/N) all but fell into his arms, his chest warm and solid under her cheek. She looped her arms around his middle, her eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed into him. He worked like a shot of lavender incense and chamomile tea for her, the perfect thing to settle her in moments like these. 

His hand spanned over the planes of her back, fingertips massaging the knots of muscle and ladder of her spine. He rubbed over her form in a soothing circuit between her shoulder blades, his opposing hand an anchoring weight on her waist. 

"Y'really want to try it out, love?" he prodded her gently, his voice rumbling under her cheek. 

"I think so," she mumbled, finding it easier to speak now that she was there to hold her instead of watch her.

"When did y'decide that?" 

"The other day, I think," she explained, "After we talked on the phone." 

He hummed, the sound reverberating in her ear. "What made y'think y'wanted to try something like this?" 

Harry always liked to talk her through things like this, she found. It made it easier for him to understand her thought process, he'd said, helping him be honest with her if he worried she was making a choice that might hurt her later. He never lacked patience when it came to guiding her through new experiences. 

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "I just want to know what it's really like. I've only seen a couple of movies and read a few books, but I want to know what it would feel like for me. I don't think it could be so bad if you like it." 

Nosing at her hair, she could feel the smile that had spread across his lips. "'M not always the smartest though, baby. You know that." 

She let out a small laugh at his griping. "I know, but I trust you. If you really don't think it would be good for me, I know you would tell me." 

A pause settled between them. 

"You don't feel like you have to, right? Jus' because 's something I do sometimes, I don't expect you to feel comfortable with it or want to do it with me." 

"I know," she responded, voice resolute, "I just want to try it at least once. If I don't like it or anything like that, I won't do it again." 

After a lingering moment, Harry drew her away from him, peering down at her with a soft gaze. "If you're sure, then we can try it whenever y'want. Jus' let me help you, and I'll be there." 

An impulsive flicker lit through her system. She was on a roll, why stop now? 

"Can we try it tonight?" 

Harry looked at her with widened eyes. "Tonight?" 

(Y/N) nodded her head. "I don't have class until the afternoon tomorrow," she started, a plan coming together, "Do you have to go in early tomorrow?"

His smile was lopsided as he shook his head, likely following where she was going with this. "No, I don't." 

"We could stay up, then," she rattled off, "I could try tonight, and if anything goes wrong we can sleep in a little in the morning." 

Amusement filtered through his gaze. "I didn't know we were having a sleepover," he teased her, dipping his head until his nose nudged against hers, "Y'want to stay the night with me, baby?" 

Her skin hummed as (Y/N) fought the urge to hide herself in his neck. (She acted as if he hadn't been fingers deep in her just a few hours prior, their mouths welded together and her legs around his waist)." 

"Harry," she whined, curling her fists in his t-shirt to keep from pulling away, "I'm trying to be serious." 

"I know," he crooned, tipping his chin to peck a soft kiss to her pouted lips, "And, 'm listening. We can try it out tonight, if y'really want to. But, I think we should eat first, yeah?" 

"Yeah," she repeated, giving a slight nod of her head, "I still need help with the website, though."

"Right," he murmured, pulling away, "Since I don't really need to clean up anymore, let me take a look." 

With that, (Y/N) handed him her phone, telling him about the confusion she felt with the links and the rerouting and all, but her mind was somewhere else. Flicking her gaze around his shoulder, she saw the mess he was leaving out for them to take care of later. The small green buds sparked that familiar kind of nervous excitement that she'd grown accustomed to when it came to new things Harry was planning on teaching her. 

She just hoped she didn't make a fool of herself.

—————

"What did you think, love? Good, right?" 

Taking their dirty utensils—including the pink chopsticks he gifted her for Valentines—Harry spoke over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen.

(Y/N) sat pliantly on the couch, tummy full of the variety of sushi rolls they sampled for the night, along with a new favorite miso soup that she was surely going to be craving as the week went on. "So good. I think my favorite is still the spicy salmon one with that seaweed salad on top." 

Harry laughed from where he stood, surely remembering the way she had practically taken that roll for herself, hoarding the pieces to allow only one bite for him. "I really liked that one, too. We'll have to go back again soon, yeah?" 

"Yes, please," she chirped, looking over the back of the couch as he made his return. 

While the food was a delicious distraction for the night, (Y/N) had still marinated in the idea of what would be coming once she finished and they were settling for the night. The mess he'd left on his dresser was waiting for them, loose papers and all. 

"Ready?" he asked, coming to stand at the end of the sofa.

Was she? She wasn't sure, honestly. But that uncertainty was outweighed by the curiosity and bubbly jitters she had since Harry had agreed to help her. 

Before she had a chance to answer and take his hand, Harry spoke up again, "Jus' to get ready for bed first, baby." 

"Oh," she sounded, nothing more intelligent coming to mind at the moment, "Um, yeah. Then we'll...?" 

He cracked a smile at her hesitancy to name the activity that she had brought up. "Yes, we'll do that afterwards. You'll probably feel more comfortable in some pajamas and your face clean." 

Though she felt a bit silly at the way she had built up a moment that hadn't quite arrived yet, she understood his logic. Besides, if she turned out to be like Sarah, she wouldn't beat herself up in the morning if she did all of her skincare now, and not when she was already inches from sleep.

Taking Harry's hand, she followed after him as he led her to his bedroom, a small duffle bag of hers that stayed here was already sitting by the bathroom door. A change of clothes, and minis of her most essential skincare needs were packed away inside, making it easy for her to spend the night impulsively when she wanted to. 

(Just then, the reminder that she wouldn't be confined to a single bag when they moved in together made her more giddy than before. Soon, she'd be sharing a whole closet with him, a bathroom, and a home. She couldn't wait).

(Y/N) went through the motions of getting unready with Harry standing behind her in the mirror. More often than not, as she brushed her teeth or patted a balm into her skin, her eyes wandered to his reflection. Once or twice, when she was caught, he gave her a sly smile with glimmering eyes. But, when he didn't catch her, his attention on his own task, she was left to allow her mind to gill with imagination. 

She was reminded as she ran her eyes along the cut of his jaw, the plants of his features, and the high points in-between, that he would be stepping behind the lavender veil with her. His previous conversation with her had only revolved around her and what she wanted out of this experience, straying her mind away from the fact that he was going to be a part of the package. 

What would he look like with smoke pluming from his mouth? Would his lilypad eyes go glazed and red? She wondered if his hands would feel any different gliding over her skin, if his lips would still feel as pillowy against hers. 

The thought had her cheeks warming, a sheepish smile forming around the toothbrush between her lips. 

Harry finished before her, stepping out of the bathroom to give her privacy to change into her pajamas. "I'll wait for you out here," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head. 

Closing the door behind himself, she was left alone with the chilled tile under her socked feet. Glancing at the mirror, (Y/N) found herself fresh-faced with wide eyes and a slight swell to her lips from the amount of times she rolled them between her teeth. Blinking, she wondered if she would look any different to Harry after she pulled the smoke into her lungs. 

It was with rushed hands that she dressed into her sleep clothes (really nothing more than a pair of tiny shorts she would inevitably kick off in the night, and a shirt she had stolen so long ago from Harry that it was hers now), almost slipping her top on backwards before she righted herself in the mirror. Stepping out of the washroom with her laundry being dropped atop her duffle for later, (Y/N) saw Harry once again at his dresser.

This time, he looked to her with an easy smile, his hands working over the surface before him.

"Better?" he smiled, lip ring bobbing. 

"Mhm," she hummed, moving towards him in slow strides, "What are you doing?" 

Turning back to face his hands, he told her, "Jus' getting our things ready. Do you want to watch?" 

A pinch creased her brows as she went towards him. Peering around his shoulder, she saw him working with one of the loose papers from before and a small pile of crushed up greenery. 

"What do you have to do?" (Y/N) only had a vague idea of what all went into preparing for a session like this. 

Smiling down at her, his ministrations slowed now that her attention was placed on his hands. He sidestepped just enough to allow her an unobstructed view of his work. "I figured we'd stick with a joint this first time, so I've got to roll one up for us to use." 

Looking at it now, while she didn't have much knowledge of any of this, she could see familiar pieces forming. The paper would be rolled and twisted with the bud inside, Harry flickering a lighter at the end like a cigarette when it was ready.

"How do you do that?" she muttered, stepping that much closer, feeling as if she were a child pressing their nose against the glass separating them from gallons of ice cream. 

A huffed laugh fell from his lips then. Lifting his arm up, he beckoned her to stand between his chest and the dresser. "C'mere." 

Slipping into the small space he freed for her, the heat of his chest could be felt against her back. Though she caught whiffs of it before, now the herby, earthy smell of the bud was right at her nose, wafting through the air and clinging to her skin. Right in front of her, Harry worked around her, his fingers deftly working through his supplies. 

"First," he started, "You've got to keep the paper flat out and put one of the filters at the end." She watched as he pulled a tiny white piece from the canister, setting it at the middle of one of the short ends of the paper. He kept it stable when he reached for the ground up weed that he had piled in the lid to the container, a small mound he pinched at before sprinkling the chunks in a line across the paper. "We've got to fill it up enough so there's not any air bubbles between," he explained as he worked, his arms hovering above her shoulders as he created their joint with the ease of experience. "This part’s always a little hard for me," he told her, to her surprise. 

"What do you mean?" He could have fooled her.

"'S hard to pack it in like this," he elaborated, his voice dull as he concentrated, "M'fingers are too big, so I've got to be extra careful that I don't mess it up." 

Honing her gaze in on his digits, she had to keep herself from tipping her head to the side and falling victim to the sight. She could see it then, she figured, watching as he tried to pat everything as tightly and precisely as possible. His fingers definitely were too big. 

"Oh," she sounded. 

A breathy laugh came from behind her, the exhale twisting through the hair on the top of her head. "Would y'do something for me, love?" he asked, finally packing enough in as tightly as he could before he started folding the ends of the thin paper. 

She gave a nod, now too transfixed on his hands to speak with an even tone. 

"Would you give this a lick for me?" he asked, "We've gotta seal it up before I can twist it all up." 

"Like, the paper?" she clarified, eyeing the open flap he was presenting to her with the joint grasped carefully between his fingers. 

Harry hummed a confirmation. "There's glue on this edge like an envelope. Gotta make it sticky, then I can close it up for us."

"Um, okay," she muttered, placing a steadying hand on his wrist as he brought the almost-joint to her lips. 

Parting her mouth, she swiped the tip of her tongue along the very edge of the paper. It didn't taste quite as artificially sweet as a regular envelope, but then again, everything was coated in that dusky scent that the herb folded inside held. 

"Thank you, baby," he told her, pulling the joint from her lips as he did the closing motion of sealing the edge to the roll. She watched as he did the final step, twisting down the free edge into a tight swirl before he presented it with the filtered end between his fingertips. "All done." 

In front of (Y/N) was the stereotypical joint that she had seen in the few films that showed as much. The paper was translucent in the way that she could clearly see it was filled from the inside with dark, green flakes. The filtered edge was tapered down into a small funnel, leaving the head of the roll trumpeting out, thick with the ground up weed. 

"That was fast," (Y/N) muttered, wanting to reach out and touch, but too scared. 

"I've gotten pretty good, I can't lie," he joked with her, pressing his lips to the back of her head. A paused settled again before he spoke to her, his head still dipped down as he murmured, "Y'still feeling alright, darling? Still want to, or do y'want to go to bed and watch a movie instead?" 

Examining the joint in front of her, the thick scent of the weed surrounding her with the heat of Harry's chest at her back, she nodded her head. "I still want to." 

Dropping an arm to wrap around her waist from behind, Harry hugged her to him for a moment. "Grab a jacket then, and we'll go out back for a second, yeah?" 

"Outside?" she asked, turning in his hold. 

"Don't want it stinking up the house, right?" He looked at her with a raised brow, already stepping towards the closet in search of his own coat. "We'll be fast, baby, 's alright." 

(Y/N) supposed he was onto something, realizing that she had never been struck by the heavy scent like she would figure if he had smoked in his bedroom. As long as no one complained, it wasn't a bad idea to head outback for a second. It would be nice to take in deep breaths in between the smoke too, she figured. 

With a set of slippers on her feet, and a thick hoodie on her body, she followed Harry out the back door, ending on the back patio. He sat on the stoop at her feet, patting the space next to him. 

"Warm enough?" he asked, moonlight waning above their heads. 

Snuggling closer to his side, she nodded her head. "I'm alright, thank you. Are you warm?" 

Despite the unzipped jacket on his form and the thin t-shirt underneath, Harry gave her a small smile. "'M good, baby." 

Flicking out a lighter and the joint from his pocket, he sparked the flame with a flick of his fingers. 

He ran the spark over the trumpeted tip of the joint, his face warming in the firelight glow. "We'll take it easy tonight, yeah?" he murmured, concentration on his hands, "I don't think it'll take much to get y'there, so we probably won't finish this but we'll save the rest for another time if you want." 

She watched as he rotated the edge of the joint over the flame, evenly burning the tip. "Are you not going to have any?" 

"I will," he assured her, "But, I want to make sure I can take care of you. I won't be having too much." 

Having a deja vu moment, (Y/N) was reminded of how it felt to be sitting in his lap as he fed her wine, keeping his own head clear while he let her run wild. 

With the end of the joint glowing a warm orange, Harry put the lighter away. He ashed the very tip away, revealing cool lavender smoke twisting through the air with a heady scent clinging to the particles. 

"Want the first go?" he asked, tipping the roll towards her in an offer. 

"No, no," she answered immediately, "You first." 

His smile was lopsided as he agreed, pulling the joint to his mouth. She watched as he tucked the filtered end between his lips, taking in a shallow inhale with the fiery end glowing to life. His chest expanded as he inhaled. He only pulled the roll away from his lips when his chest was puffed with smoke, a lingering second passing before he exhaled, plumes of dancing smoke drifting through the air. The heavy, thick aroma of the weed surrounded them. 

(Y/N) couldn't pull her eyes from him as the smoke seeped from between his lips, a thin, violet filter hazing his features. The moon above seemed to catch each particle, drowning the scene in cool toned shades, muted and closed. 

She waited for something to change in the way he looked, the way he acted. When the only thing he did was turn to her with a blink, once again offering the joint to her for a try, she wasn't sure what she had expected. 

"Do y'think y'can do that?" 

Her brows creased. "Do what?" 

Amusement molded his features as he tipped his chin towards his offering. "Taking a hit," he stated, "Inhaling, and everything." 

"I-I think so," she answered, carefully pulling the roll from his fingers. She hesitated before taking it to her lips, nervous to replicate his actions while he watched. "Do you feel any different?" 

His smile was warm as he shook his head. "No—probably won't be too different tonight. I've built my tolerance pretty high, so I'll be fine." 

"Oh," she sounded, feeling the slightest bit disappointed knowing that she wouldn't get the full experience of seeing him for what he was under the influence. Maybe sometime she could convince him to let it go. Focusing back on the joint, she stared intensely at the thin ribbon of smoke falling from the tip. "How do I inhale?" 

"Jus' breathe in, baby," Harry laughed, throwing an arm across her shoulders. He tucked her against his side, warming her through her layers. "Only take a little bit at a time, though. And, if y'need to cough, jus' let it happen. You'll be alright." 

Though it was only a few tiny rules, it felt like so much to remember, to keep track of while she was trying something so foreign.

"Wh-What if I take too much?" she muttered, worrying now the longer that she let it keep burning. She hoped she wasn't wasting everything he'd done for her. 

Harry paused, rolling her question around his head before answering. "You'll be alright," he assured her, "Jus' don't want you to take too much, or anything, that's all." 

The idea of taking too much scared her more than the other rules. She didn't know what too much was; how would she know if there was too much in her lungs, how would she know if she needed to pull back? 

"Can you help me?" she murmured, worry lacing through her tone. 

"I can hold it for you if you want?" he offered, though his option didn't seem so concrete as she had hoped. 

"You can't do more?" 

A small silence sat between them when he didn't answer right away. She looked to him, finding him looking at the joint between her fingers with a contemplative crease between his brows. 

"I might have an idea that we can try," he started, flicking his gaze to match hers. "Y'trust me, right?" 

Her nod was immediate. 

A small smile folded his lips as he took the joint from her hand. He brought the roll to his lips, taking in another deep inhale with his eyes fluttering as his chest expanded. The cherry brightened as he pulled in the smoke. As soon as he pulled it away from his mouth, he spoke to her in a muddled voice, a small streak of smoke escaping through his nose. 

"C'mere." 

(Y/N)'s eyes rounded out in confusion. She was already right here, right?

The arm Harry had thrown across her shoulders slithered around her form until his palm came to a cradle on her cheek. He pressed forward then, his lips parting just enough for (Y/N) to get the hint. 

He wanted to kiss her.

Fluttering her eyelids to a close, she leaned forward in an attempt to meet him halfway. Harry, with his hand on her cheek, stopped her short, a small distance left between them. 

With her eyes opening to slits, she found him looking to her with his own gaze trained on her lips. His tender hand on her cheek shifted until his thumb was resting in the full of her bottom lip. Tugging just slightly, he parted her pout into a small gape. Harry ripped his head, leaning just that much closer with his pursed lips. 

(Y/N) held her breath, her own mouth parted open as she felt soft plumes of smoke fan over her lips. His lips just barely grazed her own, pressing against the soft pillows as the smoke ghosted over her tongue, heady and thick.

Pulling away just enough with smoke still twirling around his features, he told her, "Breathe in, baby." 

His voice was still heavy in his throat, emulating the way he spoke in the morning. The detail gave (Y/N) something to focus on as she instinctually closed her mouth as if biting down, the smoke now contained to a thin veil between them. He kept his hand steady on her cheek as she inhaled the way she saw him do, her chest bloating as she filled her lungs with the gifted smoke. 

While she didn't feel the burning in her chest that she thought would accompany the smoke, she instead felt a thick heat in the back of her throat. She tried to mimic what she had seen Harry do, keeping the smoke in her lungs for a moment before exhaling, but she couldn't keep up when she felt her eyes begin to water. 

Unable to handle it much longer, (Y/N) released her breath in clumsy pants, embarrassed to be reacting so intensely right in Harry's face. Though, all he did was stay steady in his spot by her, thumbing at her chin and coaxing her through it. 

Tipping her head down, she finally coughed into her sleeve, eyes watering as she went with his hand falling to the slope of her neck. 

"'S alright, baby, jus' let it out," he murmured, his voice a gentle soothe, "You'll feel better in a second, love." 

By the time she regained her breath, there was a slight glaze over the back of her throat—not quite a tingle, but not entirely normal. Harry tipped his head down by then, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth with his palm spanning the shelf of her collarbones. 

"Y'alright?" he murmured, ever patient when he pulled away to match her eyes. 

Nodding her head, (Y/N) swallowed around her odd throat. "Was that alright?" she croaked, wet bottom lashes grazing the height of her cheekbone.

A fond smile molded Harry's features into soft curves. "Y'did jus' fine, lovebug. So proud of you for not getting scared," he praised her, thumb running over her warm skin, "Feels a little weird doesn't it?" 

(Y/N) didn't have to think before she nodded her head, watching as he ashed the joint they had probably let burn for just a touch too long. "Really weird," she told him earnestly, "My throat feels funny, but that's all so far."  

"Yeah? Want to keep going?" His eyes skated over her features, taking in every reaction, every minute stretch of her muscles. 

While she was sure there was something that would hit soon, she still felt comfortable enough to take a little more from him. (Y/N) answered with a small nod. 

"Same way we did before?"

Remembering the feel of his lips glancing across hers, the faint brush of the tip of his nose over hers, she could feel her skin simmering. "Yeah," she answered, hoping he thought the breathy quality of her voice was a lingering side effect of her coughing. 

He didn't look entirely fooled when that sly smile touched his lips. "Alright," he said, bringing the joint back up to his lips, "We'll do a couple more, then I think you're done, baby. That alright?" 

"That's alright," she murmured, "Thank you." 

This time, watching him taking in the long drag, (Y/N) knew what to expect when he turned to her. She allowed him to hover close enough that he was almost kissing her as he blew out another plume of smoke for her to inhale. When she took her time filling her lungs with the smoke, Harry tipped his head and smeared his lips over her cheek, kissing down her neck. 

She had more confidence this go around, coaxing herself through as Harry held her. That thick feeling in the back of her throat intensified as she closed her eyes, her chest expanding under her borrowed hoodie. 

"Doing good, baby," he murmured into her ear, pulling away to match her gaze, "Go ahead and breathe out, love. I think you're good." 

Following his direction, the lavender smoke twirled between them. Sucking in clean air, she filtered out her lungs. This time around, opening up her eyes to look up at the moonlight and the stars blinking over the inky canvas, things felt different. There was a bit of lethargy to her movements, even in the darting of her gaze. Her limbs felt as if there was extra weight attached, something heavy that slowed her before she even had a chance to move.

It was an odd feeling, something that she'd never experienced before or had anything of comparison to, but it wasn't unpleasant. She'd even say she liked it so far.

Harry seemed to pick up on the fact that she was edging into new territory as he watched over her, eyes sparking from amusement. "One more?" 

"Yeah," she settled, her lips feeling looser the more she sunk into the moment, "One more." 

"Wanna try by yourself?" he asked, taking his own small puff from the joint before he was angling it towards her. 

"Not by myself, no," she argued, still scared to be in charge of her own dosing. 

"I can hold it for you if y'want—take it back when you've had enough," Harry offered, letting a cloud leave his lips as he spoke. 

"Okay," she nodded, taking on his offer. 

"Open," he instructed, setting the filter of the joint between her lips, "Then jus' suck in, okay? You'll be able to feel it in the back of your throat, so stop if you've had enough and I haven't taken it back yet." 

(Y/N) wrapped her lips around the filter, taking in Harry's directions with absent ears. She couldn't imagine he wouldn't be able to catch herself and her intake before he did. 

Emulating what she'd seen from him before, she sucked in, her cheeks hollowing just enough to show off the shape of her cheekbones. The back of her throat warmed, embers igniting in a low burn. This was more than what Harry had given her before, but she didn't mind. This would be just enough,she figured.

At the perfect moment, Harry pulled away prompting her to breathe out the final cloud of smoke. He asked the joint once more, a small pile of grey dust having collected at their feet. 

A few huffed coughs fell from (Y/N)'s lips, unused to the feeling of gathering the smoke directly from the source. Harry wrapped his arm around her, tucking her into his side as she eased through the final intake. 

"How do you feel?" he asked her, voice low under the moonlight. 

Looking around, (Y/N) tried to find the answer to the question. 

It was an odd feeling, she decided. She felt both light and heavy at the same time, her head in the clouds with her body entirely anchored to the ground. Prickles poked at her skin, her limbs their own entity as she brought her hands into a bundle in her lap. 

There was no other way to describe it other than the fact that she felt high. 

"Good," she answered simply, "Different." 

"You'll get used to it, my love," he murmured into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to the space just before. 

"Do you feel different?" she asked, her voice heavy in her dry throat. 

"A little," Harry explained, stubbing out the cherry of the joint, "But, I think 's time we get inside before either of us freezes, don't you think?" 

"Yeah, yes."

It was when Harry let out a small huffed laugh that (Y/N) couldn't contain her own laughter. A loud peal fell from her lips. She wasn't even sure why she was laughing. That only made her laugh harder.

—————

"That is so funny," (Y/N) giggled to herself, clenching her hands in the fabric of her top lest she forget they were there. "Harry, did you see that?! It was funny!" 

He was back in the kitchen, working over the stove with a pot of noodles boiling away and a cheesey sauce working on the other burner, leaving (Y/N) to watch this movie all on her own. 

"Which part, baby?" he asked, his rumbling voice sounding farther away than she remembered. 

(Y/N) blinked, watching the brightly colored animated characters go across the television screen. "The one that was just on! With the cat on the piano!" 

How could he not have been paying attention? (Y/N) had never seen something so entertaining before, if she was being honest. This had to be her new favorite movie—she just needed to remember what it was called. 

"Oh," he sounded, "I did see that, sorry, lovebug. It was very funny." 

"Good," she responded absently, craning her neck to look over the back of the couch towards where he stood in the kitchen, "I'm so hungry, H." 

"I know," he laughed, looking at her with his skin seemingly glowing and the smile of a prince. "'M almost done, okay?" 

"How close is ‘almost’?" 

His smile only widened at her line of questioning. (Y/N) mimicked that look without a thought. 

"About five minutes. Can you wait that long?" 

"I'll try." She couldn't help the pout that took her features. She had told him she was hungry what felt like hours ago, and she still was waiting for food. He wouldn't even let her help either, but she could argue that she would have eaten already if he just let her follow him to the kitchen.

Raising his brows, Harry fixed his attention back on the television screen. "Oh, look. The little cat is back, baby." 

(Y/N)'s attention took a one-eighty as she did the same to face the TV once more. Harry was right, the kitten was back on screen. She didn't want to miss this. 

The high had hit her at full force only minutes after Harry had taken her inside, setting off a firing squad of so many different feelings (Y/N) had never experienced before. She had so much energy, but at the same time she wanted to sleep. She wanted to kiss and hold her boyfriend, but also had to make a point to remember where her limbs were. She wanted to eat and drink as much water as she could, but couldn't find the attention to do either of those things. In the back of her mind, she even debated on writing some for the course paper she needed to work on before the midterm exam next month—her mind swirling with ideas, but they were all out of order. 

How she decided on watching a movie instead of any of her other raucous ideas, she wasn't sure, but she was happy with the choice. This way, she was able to wrap up in the soft pink throw blanket that she left in his bedroom, sink into the new feeling, and make out with Harry when he was done cooking.

(It had really been Harry's prompting and prodding that led her to the conclusion that yes, she wanted to watch a movie and cuddle up with him while she ate, but he was happy with letting her assume it had been her own choice).

Time moved in mysterious ways since the high had hit, making it hard to decipher if it had been five hours or mere five minutes before Harry came to her with bowls of pasta and a buttery warm sauce poured over top. 

"That looks so good, H," she bubbled, overjoyed at the sight of food, "Thank you so much!" 

"You're welcome, baby," he smiled, "Do you need more water?" 

"No, just—Hold on." (Y/N) stumbled over her words, organizing her thoughts as steadily as she could and ultimately failing in favor of reaching towards Harry.

The second he settled into the cushion at her side, she had his jaw cradled in her palms, lips puckered and pressed against the corner of his mouth. A laugh bubbled through his lips, his smile felt under her kiss. 

"I missed," she laughed along with him, pulling away to watch his eyes light up and creases form around his smile, "Sorry." 

"'S alright," he beamed, cheeks still cradled in her palms, "Jus' slow down and try again." 

Though she didn't exactly have the wherewithal to follow his directions, she definitely tried her best. This time, she felt as if she went slower as she leaned in, pressing her lips to Harry's. He reciprocated her affection in soft kisses, (Y/N) melting the longer she reveled in his touch.

Her skin practically sang everywhere he touched her, taking her back to her wonderings of if there would be something extra to their affection while under the influence. That prickling that she had felt in her limbs just when the smoke started taking effect, now only occurred when he ran his fingertips over her skin or held her hand in his. The buzzing made her smile into the kiss, the pinpoint tickling under her skin.

"What's got you so smiley, hm?" Harry asked against her mouth, pulling away despite the tender hold she had on his cheeks. 

She beamed up at him with an easy grin, a rose colored glaze over her vision of him. "I just like touching you," she told him, "It tickles." 

He raised his brows in reaction, biting back a smile. "It tickles?" 

Watching the clear amusement on his face, (Y/N) couldn't help her own smile from turning into bubbling laughter. "Uh-huh," she barely answered, everything else dissolving around her laughter. 

"Now, why are you laughing?" 

Harry's investigation only proved to make the entire moment funnier to (Y/N) as she doubled over. Snuggling into his chest, she clung to him with her laughter muffled against his shoulder. "I don't know," she giggled, barely sure that the words even left her brain. 

"Oh, lovebug," he crooned, wrapping his arms around her, "What am I going to do with you?" 

A contented smile landed on (Y/N)'s features as she settled down. She burrowed against him, smushing her cheek on his shoulder and bundling her arms between their bodies. "Love me." 

The tip of Harry's nose skimmed the top of her head. "I already do that," he told her, words fanning across the strands of hair crowning her. 

"I love you too," (Y/N) answered simply. 

The cryptic sense of time she held struck once again when Harry drew away from her. Her body had relaxed into his as if she had napped on him for hours, but she could have been nestled in his arms for a max of three minutes for all she knew. 

"Are y'still hungry? Or do y'want me to save your noodles for later?" 

With that, (Y/N) swore her mind had been blown. "You brought me food, I totally forgot!" Twirling too fast for her brain to keep up, she was almost dizzy by the time she saw the bowl of pasta Harry had set in front of her, complete with salty cheese layered on top just like she asked. "That looks so good, H! Thank you." 

Harry gave her a small smile. "You're welcome, baby." 

A minute sense of deja vu niggled in the back of her head for just a second, but (Y/N) chose to ignore it in favor of twirling her fork through the spaghetti noodles.  

Had cheese always tasted this good? 

—————

"Harry, are you listening? This song is beautiful." 

"I know, love. 'S perfect, huh?" 

The drawl of Harry's response had (Y/N) peeking up at him. She found him lying with his eyes closed, mouth parted in a small gape, though his hand on her back never slowed the soothing circle he had curated.

"Are you tired?" (Y/N) whispered. 

A slight smile touched the corner of his mouth at her question. "A little. Are you?" 

(Y/N) paused, evaluating herself to give him an honest answer. "Yeah. A little." His heartbeat was set to a soothing pace under her ear, slowing into a steady rhythm as if urging him to sleep. "Are you almost asleep?" 

Though she could see his eyes were closed and his breathing was coming in soft puffs, Harry didn't slack on the duties he had taken on for the night. Since pulling her to bed and setting a playlist to softly sing through his bedroom, he had kept his cuddling hold on her firm and anchoring. He answered her every time she spoke to him and even crawled his way to the bedside table to skip the song whenever she started to whine over the melody. 

"A little," he smiled, his voice a deep rumble, "Are you?"

Another pause. "Maybe," (Y/N) answered honestly. She could fall asleep right now if she wanted, but she also wanted to keep listening to music. 

Harry hummed, his chest vibrating under her cheek. "Is there anything y'want before y'get sleepy? More water or a snack?" 

What did she need before she could peacefully fall asleep? 

Blinking her gaze up at him, she took in the tip of his nose, the curving pillow of his cupid's bow and the creamy texture of his skin. 

"A kiss? Please?" 

At that, Harry cracked his eyes open to peer down at her. "Y'haven't had enough of those yet?" 

"Never," she answered, completely honest. Harry still plucked a smile onto his lips at her response. 

"Can't blame you, darling—me neither." 

Shifting between the sheets, Harry used his free hand to cup (Y/N) cheek and tip her chin as he dipped down. He sealed his lips over hers in a loving kiss, nothing more than a soft pressing of their lips. She swore she could feel every ridge, every dip, every plane of his touch, catalogued to her memory though she hoped she would recall it in less fuzzy detail. 

"Love you," she murmured between breaths, immediately planting her lips across his once more. 

Harry smiled into the contact. He broke the rhythm of her kisses even further when he drew away, ignoring the way she chased after him with a craned neck and puckered lips.

"I love you too, lovebug." His eyes scanned over her features not for the first time that night, though something softened in his gaze. "You had a good time tonight?"

Walking through the lavender veiled events, everything was just a bit hazy and herbal, (Y/N)'s smile only grew. 

"Uh-huh," she beamed up at him, feeling herself settle into him that much more, "Thank you for showing me." 

Thumbing at the height of her cheekbone, Harry surged forward to press a delicate kiss to the bridge of her nose. "'M happy y'feel good, darling. That's all I want when we try new things." 

"I'm always happy when I'm with you." 

(Y/N) blinked as she saw his face light up with a bubbly smile, creases appearing by his eyes, dimples thumbed into his cheeks, and a slight flush over his nose. 

Had his smile always been that pretty?

—————

eeeek! so happy I could get a new aster blurb out for everyone this year! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and lmk if yu have any ideas for anything you'd like to see!

[futureplayboibunnie]

Heartless Pt.1

Mafia Boss! Miguel O’Hara x fem! reader

You and Miguel are married to each other…and it wasn’t because of love.

okay i’ve redirected this fic and made it into a slowburn multi chapter series, in hindsight my last idea was too abrupt. i feel like this storyline is wayyyy better. I LOVEEEE SLOWBURN. i hope ya’ll like this one better! Part 2 up now!

PS. if you don’t like this type of stuff, don’t be stupid and comment on it because I really don’t care enough to hear it, use ur fingers and scroll. it’s not that hard.

You thought your wedding day would've been more romantic than this.

More personal, more involved, a consolidation of the many moments you shared with the man you were going to love forever, but free will and liberation were something that you gave up when your parents decided that it was in your family's entrepreneurial interest to participate in a partnership with the O'Hara Dynasty.

You weren't mad. It was just...different. You knew this day was coming but it was all wrapped together quite nicely, in a neat little bow.

Everything was done with the utmost sensitivity and respect, the O'Hara family's Consigliere placed piles of paperwork in front of you, NDAs were rarely ever necessary, and guns and fists normally did the trick but Miguel personally wanted all of this to be clean. He was getting married for the sole purpose of extending his power and influence, being a part of the 5 Families in this city wasn't something that was done without shedding blood. And Miguel shed a lot. This was a very important occasion to him, marriage was important in all generations of his family, and almost every single Don arranged a marriage with a woman from another Dynasty just for the purpose of spreading influence and agendas. Miguel and his brother talked for hours about it and in the end, he had to do what was necessary for his family and his capos. He needed to conserve what was his whilst also inserting his power.

Dealing with ill-tempered men and being a sounding board for their last scraps of sanity wasn't new but Miguel wasn't that. He was just silent in a way you didn't like. It was almost unsettling. Maybe it would be easier to hate him if he was an asshole, but he was very kind and respectful in the little words he said to you.

All of this was strictly professional, a beautiful show for the underworld. It was ridiculous and you felt like a fool, and after the day you had, it felt perfectly reasonable to feel that way.

It was your wedding day and word got around fast.

The dress he picked was fine.

The ceremony was fine

The ring was fine

Everything was just fine.

Now you were in his cold, lavishly destitute penthouse at an ungodly hour, sitting around, still in the wedding dress that you haven't taken off for some reason- maybe to compensate for the fact that you'll throw it in a corner, leave it in the cold and black dark, collecting dust for you to never see it again. Miguel's capos had to scamper around and follow you just about anywhere but for once, they left you alone with Miguel shooing them out.

Is this what your life would be like? Sitting around, waiting for something to happen? Was everything meant to be so banal and grey?

“You looked lovely today.” A low voice grumbled behind you, you whipped your head around to see Miguel leaving his study and entering the living room, he was still wearing his tux with that unknotted ugly bow tie that was crooked the whole ceremony. He looked tired. You gave him an agreeable smile in response.

"Thank you.” You said politely, there was just nothing purposeful behind your voice. All there was between you and Miguel was agreeable conversation, polite and meaningless drivel to distract from the very true and real fact that you were betrothed, you both owed each other something. Miguel gave you protection and you gave Miguel his pathway to influence- it was a business transaction, that was all, but it didn't mean that all of this wasn't abnormal. “I can't reach the zipper, can you please zip me down?” You asked as if it was a normal question- it wasn't for your kind of relationship but what the hell was normal nowadays? For Christ's sake, you were married to a man you barely knew and you slept in different rooms.

Miguel approached you in silence, watching you stand up from the couch and turn around. He liked the dress, he picked it out himself, you looked nice. His fingers found the zipper and pulled down slowly, watching the slivers of skin appear with every small tug down.

As far as women go, Miguel wasn't really that interested in sleeping around, every woman he shared himself with became a target or an opportunity pry into his head- he didn't want anyone messing with his internal affairs. Sometimes he'd cave and fuck one of the women serving him drinks at private poker nights, they always made eyes at him, begging him with fluttering eyelashes and wet lips to fuck them senseless. He was a man after all, sometimes it was enjoyable, sometimes it wasn't, he just needed to get off.

You on the other hand, you were unreadable in a way that he didn’t know how to approach.Though sometimes he did find you talking to him like an acquaintance vaguely irritating he would definitely be a hypocrite for calling you out.

It felt like you were holding your breath when he was finished, you settled baxk into your senses, he gazed over the patch of skin peeking out of your dress. He stopped his gawking when you turned around and gave him a weak smile like you would a friend or a neighbour. "Thank you. Goodnight Miguel.” You walked passed him and went to your designated room. Miguel did the same

You never really thought of yourself as an incurable romantic, but this was truly dull and you contemporary marriage like this. Even if it was to one of the most dangerous men in the city.

-

You awoke to a cacophony of sizzling and rustling noises coming from outside your room, your dreary eyes lulled by sleep couldn't fight against the delicious smell wafting from outside. Before you could fully register that breakfast was being made, the first thing you noticed was the heavy feeling of dread resting on your chest, you raked a tired hand over your face and rubbed your eyes awake. Opening them up fully, you saw the white fabric on the floor. In another life, the husband you actually loved would be laying next to you, whispering sweet nothings. Your wedding dress and veil were strewn about as if it was an article of clothing a teenage girl would carelessly discard while figuring out what to wear for a date with Tommy or Billy or Jason or whoever. But this wasn't high school drama, this was the type of life you were conditioned into.

Blood, war, and money.

You weren't complaining, the protection it offered you was immense. Miguel was a corrupt man dealing with equally corrupt politicians and people of interest, he had to adapt in his work but a part of you didn't believe he was the poisonous person everyone always made him out to be. Maybe it was because you hadn't seen him in his raw, primal ways, beating people bloody. That's what made you weary.

You shifted up and headed over to the walk-in wardrobe. This was the part that really stunted you, Miguel wanted you to wear what he specifically liked, everything was picked out by him and you still didn't know how to feel about it, but it made you grimace. You stepped in and glanced at the hangers, they were all ordered out by color and style. You noticed that he seemed to like satin and silk, and he was very particular about color, he liked black, silver, grey and even a baby blushed pink in certain articles. Your fingers grazed over the silk of the nightwear dresses, and the fabric of the gala dresses- you didn't like the idea of having to play pretend in front of too many people. You idled towards the drawers and wondered what he preferred when it came to underwear. You raised a cynical eyebrow and your lips pursed in curiosity as you let your finger pull it open.

Your mouth unhinged in a surprise you expected, but not in the way you thought of. He definitely had a thing for lingerie. God, there was a pair of everything, lacy, strappy, padded, unpadded, sheer garters, sparkly garters, knee highs, thigh highs. He was very particular indeed. It was tailored to your perfect cup size. Fucking hell. He liked Brazilian underwear but he seemed have an affinity for a thong too. You sighed and closed the drawer, you didn't want to read into it. Your eyes wandered to the muted pink silk robe hanging next to the drawer. Hm. That'll do for breakfast.

Miguel looked up from his newspaper to see you padding barefoot to the table where a spread was laid out. His maid, although young, ditzy and so obviously desperate to fuck him, was a very talented cook but the coffee she made always tasted like dirt. “Thank you.” He said to her plainly, he couldn't even look at her due to him being distracted by your presence. Your face creased into a light frown as you stared at the eye candy handing Miguel his coffee before she left as Miguel waved his hand. Of course the women who worked around him had to be insanely beautiful.

“Good morning.” Miguel grumbled before taking a sip. You were wearing the silk robe he liked. Good. Good girl.

You didn't say anything back, acting aloof and nonchalant seemed to be the only way of conserving whatever sanity you had left. The back of your throat had back drool when you stared at the delicious spread in front of you. You didn't know what you wanted to eat first. You grabbed a few pickings of everything, topped off with a mimosa. You ate in polite silence, minding your business, uninterested in anything he had to say at this point. Miguel settled down his newspaper and glared at you, you weren't particularly bothered by his presence, and that made him...unsettled. It went on like this for a solid few minutes.

“What?” You asked him, not even giving him the decency of looking him in the eye. Miguel was silent for a moment, contemplating your presence before he opened his mouth.

“We're leaving the city tonight.” He said oh so casually in that deep, low voice of his.

"And why is that?”You sighed tiredly, a slightly amused smirk twitched at your lips at this out-of-the-blue statement.

Miguel clicked his tongue and cooed at you, “Because cariño, my Consigliere has informed me that our marriage is not boding well with the other 5 Families, they think it's a covert attack in some sort of way, a questioning of power or sorts. And also..” He cut himself off for a reason unknown to him. “He also thinks it's a prudent idea to have a honeymoon, to hone everything in and make this...real.” He murmured as he rolled up his shirt sleeve.

Your eyes pricked up at the word 'real.' Wasn't this real? The papers were real. The ring was real. But the actual connection…? You glowered at him, your eyes narrowed.

“Do you think this is real?”

Miguel didn't know how to answer that. “Isn't real relative?”

“No.” You replied thickly like you didn't even need to think about it.

“Look. I don't want to discuss this.”

“So you can't compromise.” You shot back.

“No, I won't.” He pushed his chair back aggressively and sat his coffee down hard, he looked irritated by all of this. He didn't like that you thought you had the power to interrogate him.

Miguel walked past you as he went to exit the room but then for some reason he halted in his tracks. Compromise. Miguel is not known for compromising. The people around him know that for a fact, but he doesn't want this marriage to be another agenda that he has to put up with. He didn't want to hate you.

He sighed.

“Choose where we go. Tell my brother and he'll tell my pilot.” Miguel said coldly, his tone clipped and gruff even when he was trying to build a bridge of some sort.

It didn't seem like you had a choice, so now you were just another lackey he ordered around.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Innocent (Billy Butcher)

Description: Y/N is the youngest members of the boys and has no experience so Billy wants to change that.

Warning: Smut, Age Gap

Word Count: 1,362k

She was the youngest member of The Boys, 24 years old. She didn’t have much sexual experience but damn sure had a lot of other experiences. Most 24 year olds have sexual experience and won’t have the experience she has. That experience was taking down what the world called “Heroes” but in reality were villains. Y/N never got around to the normal things in life, her whole life she’s been running from Vought. She was also wanted, like the rest of them so that didn’t help much.

When the time comes to relax and joke, she’s the victim. With her being the youngest and most innocent one all the jokes aimed at her. She wasn’t hurt by them, she just rolled her eyes. Hughie never really made fun of her, never felt the need too. It was Frenchie and MM that loved to tease her at any given moment. Billy sometimes teased her but not as much as the other two.

He found her adorable but not in a puppy type of way. He wanted to pound her into his mattress with his dick. Nobody else knew or had the idea because he was smart. He never got caught staring at her with those dark, lustful eyes that ate her up, or the groans he’d keep in his throat when she walked around in barely anything. He never thought he’d fall for another woman after Becca. But Y/N surprised him. She was sweet and not easily offended. She never pissed him off or made him want to kill her like the others do.

She was perfect in his eyes. Except one thing, She had no idea what she did to him when she woke up and walked in the living room with just a shirt and panties. A shirt that barely covered her ass. It was hard to restrain himself when she did that. It was like she was doing it on purpose. Which she wasn’t but it really made him think. The others were still asleep so that gave him time to check out her perfect little body without being caught. He eyed her like she was his prey and he was getting ready to pounce any second. She was making eggs for herself and Billy, like she did most mornings.

She never noticed him staring at her which was a good thing for him. “Okay it’s all done.” She said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He grabbed the plate from her and thanked her. She smiled and took her own. She sat next to him as they ate. “Do you ever get cold?” He asked her. She shook her head No. The place was sometimes freezing. “Hard to believe in barely any clothes.” He said. He wasn’t meaning it in a bad way but she really didn’t understand how fuckable she looked. “Do you have a problem with how I dress?” She asked him. He chuckled and shook his head. “No, love. It’s just freezing is all.” She hummed and went back to eating. 

It was an everyday thing and each day it got harder for Billy to control himself. She wasn’t going to realize or understand that she’s causing a problem on her own. Each day he’d watch her with dark eyes and she never noticed, completely oblivious to the fact. Today was his final straw. The shirt she had on was showing her panties as she reached up to grab something. Billy groaned and wished she would have just asked him to grab it instead. She tried everything to reach the salt and pepper that was put on the high shelf. He came up behind her and grabbed it for her. She turned around and took it from him with a smile and a thanks. She turned back to what she was doing as if it was nothing. Billy turned off the stove and pushed her up against the counter. She let out a gasp.

His hands on her hips as he pressed up against her. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? Walking around in barely any clothes, making me almost cum in my pants.” He growled in her ears. “I’m I’m sorry.” She squeaked. He chuckled and moved his hand up to grope her breasts. “You should be. You’re a walking wet dream and you drive me crazy.” She moaned at his words and his hands playing with her boobs. His lips found her neck and started abusing it. Her hands were gripping the counter so hard her knuckles were turning white. One of his hands moved down to her panties.

He chuckled as he felt how wet they were. “Holy fuck. You’re soaked.” He said. She let out a moan as he started to rub her clit through her panties. Her head laid back on his chest and she sighed. “Fucking hell, the fact that you’re falling apart in my arms is so hot.” He groaned. Her eyes were closed and she was moaning softly. Her hips started gently moving. He let out a groan as she was backing her ass into his groin. One of her hands reached down to his and pulled it in her panties.

He chuckled and looked down at her. “Is that what you want, baby?” He asked. “Yes please.” She whined and moaned as his fingers were abusing her clit. His other hand held her hip as she dry humped him. “Fuck I need to be inside of you before I explode.” He groaned. His motion stopped and she whined as he pulled his hand away from her wet pussy. He pulled down her panties and undid his pants pulling them down. He found her entrance and softly pushed in. Before she could scream his hand covered her mouth. “Quiet love, don’t want the others to hear, do ya?” He asked ,pushing into her more. She shook her head and moaned against his hand. He was splitting her in half but she was okay with it. Her pussy squeezed him and he groaned. “You’re so fucking tight.” She moaned at his words.

She thrusted back against him and whined as the pleasure took over the pain. He took that as a hint to start moving. Her hips moved back on his at the same time he thrusted. It felt perfect and the two found a rhythm really fast. She was letting out all types of pleasurable noises he wished to hear clearly. But didn’t wanna risk the others waking up. “You sound fuckin’ beautiful, love.” He groaned in her ear. His hips started moving faster, bumping her small body into the counter. She wasn’t able to keep up with his thrusts. His hands move to pull her body as close as possible to his. His hands stayed on her stomach. She bit her lip to quiet the moans that tumbled out of her lips.

She’s never felt this good before. Billy felt her spasm all over his cock making him grunt out a “fuck.” She was close to her end as was he. “Billy I- I think I’m g-gonna cum.” She whined a little too loud. He placed his face in her neck and let out a moan himself. “Yeah baby? Let go for me.” He tells her. “Let go for Daddy.” Her eyes rolled back into her head and her mouth dropped open, it took everything in her tiny body not to scream his name. He felt her drench his cock which triggered his orgasm. He grunted and came inside of her. She gasped at the feeling of his cum inside of her.

They both slowed their hips and came to a stop. Both of them panting like dogs as they stayed in that position. He kissed her neck and whispered sweet nothings in her ear making her giggle. Her giggle was so fucking cute to him. He pulled out of her, making them both gasp. She turned around and looked up at him with a smile. He looked down at her with a smile and realized that he was in love with her. “You’re so fucking adorable.” He grunted before kissing her again. 

[mostly-marvel-musings]

The green-eyed monster

A/N: This was super random. Leave a heart, comment or reblog if you enjoyed this fic!

Pairing: Tony Stark x F! Reader

Warnings: 18+ jealousy induced smut, lil choking and breeding kink?

Word count: 1941

Tony Stark Masterlist

.

“Shit!”

You cursed under your breath as you checked your watch, you were running late. Later than fashionably late would permit. But you had a good reason to be. Your stylist and hairdresser had done you up to perfection, all the efforts were worth it because you looked stunning. The dress you chose hugged your curves like a glove, a bold lip, fine jewelry and hair that complimented the outfit beautifully.

The charity event was merely an opportunity to remind a certain someone of what he had been ignoring for the past few weeks. You had to teach him a lesson.

Reaching the venue at record speed, you stepped inside feeling the best version of yourself, immediately grabbing eyeballs of almost everybody present there. Scanning the room, your eyes landed on the man of the hour. Anthony Stark. Looking dapper as ever in a custom-made tux, he was deep in conversation with several who’s who of the society, oblivious to your presence.

That would change soon, you thought.

Heading straight for the bar, you got yourself a glass of champagne, letting your gaze roam over the sea of people to find yourself a distraction. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to make much effort as a man from your past caught your eye and made a beeline in your direction.

“Y/N Y/L/N, as I live and breathe.” he exclaimed, wrapping you in a hug, his hand lingering on your bare skin.

“Noah Bennett. Since when did you start thinking about someone besides yourself?” you jested, celebrating on the inside as his eyes dipped down your body, letting you know your plan was working. From the corner of your eye, you saw a couple of people part to reveal Tony Stark with a curious look on his face.

“You look hot, Y/N. I’m sorry if I’m being too direct here but wow. Look at you!”

You laughed as he twirled you, placing a hand deliberately on his bicep.

“Always the flatterer. Honestly, it is so good to see you here, Noah. I hope you’ve made a sizable donation today. If not, I’m here to persuade you.” you winked, allowing him to get you another drink.

You spoke for quite some time, keeping the conversation light and flirty, you knew exactly what you were doing. Your boyfriend watched the whole scene from a distance, staring daggers at the man who had his hands all over his girl. He had zoned out of the conversation happening around him, focusing only on the two of you. You leaned over to whisper something in that man’s ear, all while his gaze dropped to your cleavage shamelessly, the guy chuckled before he did the same, making you shake your head and blush. It made his jaw tick, irritation bubbled within his chest watching the two of you.

A part of him wanted to intervene and pull you away from the creep, but another part who spoke on behalf of his pride refused. He remembered that man, he’d made a generous pledge for the charity. But right now none of that mattered as much as the fact that he had his arm around your waist, where it didn’t belong. ‘

As time passed, you chatted your way closer to where Tony was, not sparing him much of a glance as you worked your charm to get more rich people to donate for the good cause. Normally, the two of you would be inseparable but given the little fight you had had last week, it made sense for you to make separate appearances. Plus you had your little entry planned to teach him a lesson.

“Oh Y/N, the event is already a success. Well done! You’ve managed to charm everyone into emptying their pockets.” an elderly gentleman complimented you, making you giggle. Ulterior motives aside, the evening truly was a big win.

“When the hostess is easy on the eyes, I guess it helps a lot, wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Stark?”

You felt his presence before you saw the man, the familiar scent and aura that he carried enveloped your senses before a protective arm slid around your waist, pulling you to his side.

“And here I thought I’d have to undo a couple of my shirt buttons to make you guys cough it up.”

His statement earned him laughter from the crowd, his thumb rubbing the bare skin on your back in a way that made your breathing hitch. Turning to look at him, you were met with eyes that ogled your decked up form, the gaze was hungry yet mixed with a hint of annoyance.

Tony leaned over and pressed his lips against your ear, making it hard for you to ignore the excitement you felt.

“What do you think you’re doing, sweetheart?”

You feigned confusion, shrugging nonchalantly before taking a sip of your drink, further adding to his irritation. It seemed to be the last straw as Tony grabbed your hand and hastily made his way out of the venue, leaving the guests perplexed.

He remained silent the entire ride back home, keeping his eyes focused on the road. You noticed his knuckles turned white from gripping the wheel tightly.

This would be a lot of fun, you thought. Winding Tony up had an effect on you, you couldn’t wait for him to have his way with you. Pretty confident that sooner or later he would. The night wasn’t over yet.

“You slept with the guy, didn’t you?” he asked out of the blue, still not sparing you a glance.

“Which guy?”

“Don’t fucking test me, Y/N. You know exactly who I’m talking about.” he seethed, putting his foot on the gas and sped up.

“Oh and where did you get that idea from, may I ask?” you suppressed a grin, keeping the tone of your voice light.

“I have eyes. I can see. Someone was way too touchy back there. I don’t like it when others touch my stuff.”

This made you scoff and look out the window as your home came into view. You didn’t move from your seat until Tony opened your door and grabbed your hand once again, taking determined strides up to your house.

“Are you jealous?” you were slightly out of breath keeping up with his pace, the smirk in your voice pretty evident.

“I don’t get jealous.”

“Oh no, you’re right. You just get territorial, and protective. And just a tad needy, right?”

Clicking his tongue, Tony shoved you inside your bedroom, slamming the door behind him before crashing his lips on yours. This kiss had fire, brimming with passion but laced with anger as he walked you back until your back hit the wall, eliciting a gasp. Taking this opportunity, his tongue made it past your lips, clearly winning the game of dominance.

“I think you forgot that you have a partner who needs all your attention before any of your ‘friends’ do.” he murmured against your lips before letting them trail down your neck, nipping at your skin.

“So you were jealous.” you smirked, tugging on his hair as he bruised your skin with a hickey, his fingers grazing up your leg to reach between them, growling when he realized you weren’t wearing panties.

“Fuck yeah I was.” his hand cupped your sex, fingers brushed along the slit that had gathered slick already. Without warning, two of his fingers pushed past your entrance, assaulting your walls by stretching them out.

“Take off your dress.” he commanded, his left hand wrapping itself around your throat gently, his brown eyes darkened with lust.

“You don’t get to order me around.” you didn’t sound convincing at all, given that he chose the moment to curl his fingers inside your tight heat, you gasped.

“Slow down, Tony.” You breathed.

“Take it off or I’ll do it for you.”

The pressure on your throat increased ever so slightly, causing your walls to tighten around his thick digits as he continued pumping. Your eyes were shut in pleasure when you heard the fabric of your dress rip, falling at your feet in shreds. The dress you spent thousands of dollars on was destroyed in seconds, not that you were complaining. If anything, you were counting on this to happen.

Tony made you open your mouth and fed you his fingers, the taste of your desperate arousal evident on them as you rolled your tongue. His cock twitched in his dress pants, eager to be freed and buried deep within your pussy.

You fumbled with his belt, undid the zip and shoved his pants down, earning a chuckle from him. Your eyes flashed victory before arousal took over completely, your body ached for him.

Holding the back of your knees, he entered you in one swift motion, a synchronic moan echoed in the room. Tony didn’t hold back after that, his thrusts set a brutal pace that made you see stars, the line of pleasure and pain thinning as he continued to plough into your sopping heat.

“You like being reminded who you belong to, don’t you sweetheart?” He grunted, every thrust sent you closer and closer to the edge.

Fervently nodding, you held onto his shoulders as cock threatened to split you in two, unable to comprehend much else.

“Cat got your tongue? Use your words, baby.”

“Yes! I wanted you to get jealous tonight, Tony.”

He paused momentarily, making you whine which he swallowed in an instant, slanting his lips on yours. The kiss that contained everything, from dominance to love and everything in between. While he felt guilty for ignoring you these past few weeks, a part of him loved you for your antics, especially ones which ended like this.

His cock twitched inside your walls as he resumed.

“What if I come inside you, huh? What if I fill you up with my seed, get you pregnant? Show them all who you belong to..what do you say, sweetheart?”

He breathed against your skin, his voice muffled in your hair. You answered by clamping your walls around his length, pulling him further inside, tugging on his hair to signal you were close too.

“I’m gonna fill you up, Y/N.” he panted, watching your hand reach down to rub your clit as you brought yourself pleasure.

“Come for me, Tony. Come inside me.” You cried, burying your face in his neck as your walls fluttered around his length. Tony followed with a final twitch of his cock, ropes of cum painting your walls as he filled you up, giving you all he had.

He carried you to bed, still snug inside you and laid you down, littering soft kisses along your shoulder. You grinned victoriously, carding your fingers through his hair.

“Why didn’t you tell him we’re together? He was all over you.” He kept his voice soft, tugging at your heartstrings as always.

“You did what you did to get my attention, and I did what I had to to get yours. Now we’re even.”

Tony looked up at your face, his expression incredulous with a hint of pride playing on his lips.

“You little minx. Have I told you I love you?” He pecked your lips a couple of times, slowly resuming to thrust inside you with his soft cock, pushing his cum further inside and keeping it there.

“Not that I recall. No.”

[turcott3]

it’s ok, i’m ok

arber xhekaj x fem! reader

warnings?: angst, crying, cursing, kissing, smut, unprotected sex, fluff and dramaaaaaa

i don’t want him anyway, girl take him

-

florian had asked you over, so you drove anxiously, wondering if this was the moment he was finally asking you to be his girlfriend. you’d been talking for about a month or so, and you felt ready for the next step with him.

you pulled into his driveway and huffed, nervous to walk into the house you loved to be at, a home that was always so warm and kind to you. you texted him that you’d arrived and approached his front door as he opened it, him opening it wide for you, everything seemingly normal.

instead of stopping and saying hello to his parents and sisters, he b-lined for his bedroom, quickly shutting the door behind you. quickly, he sighs and looks down at his feet.

“what?” you asked.

“i just- okay, i need you to listen. like completely.”

“okay?”

“so, um, fuck. okay, well i’m asking kayla to be my girlfriend today and i wanted to tell you because it would be wrong of me not to.”

“i’m sorry?” you reply, heart sinking quickly in your chest.

“i really hope im not upsetting you by doing this, it’s just what felt right to me.”

“pat yourself on the back buddy, you really thought this one through.” you snap, your passive remarks gleaming through.

“i really did consider your feelings in all of this, the last thing i wanted to do was take it to far. we never even had sex.”

“florian. you think that that’s what this was about? oh we didn’t have sex so it wasn’t that serious? i was prepared to come here today to be the one being asked to be your girlfriend, and i was ready to say yes. but instead you throw this at me and apparently katelyn i-“

“her name is kay-“

“i really don’t give a fuck about her name florian. fuck you. you know i really loved coming here and being with you and your family, and i’ll be so fucking pleasured to tell them what you’ve done. i didn’t even know you were talking to someone else how could you? like honestly fuck you. goodbye, i’m leaving. so much for considering my fucking feelings asshole. and don’t chase after me, just leave me the fuck alone.” you replied, leaving him no room to speak as you shut the door behind you walking back out toward the entry way, arber being the only family member left in the kitchen.

“i heard arguing? is everything okay?” he asks, setting his water down on the island.

“no, your brother’s an asshole.” you reply, biting your lip as your eyes watered.

“oh fuck, what happened? are you okay?”

“i thought he asked me over here to ask me to be his girlfriend, turns out he asked some other girl who i didn’t even know about. yet apparently he considered my feelings.” you reply, letting a tear slip.

“jesus christ.” he scoffs, leaving the two of you in silence for a moment.

“well, thank you for listening and being there for me arber. i’m sorry you’ll probably never see me again.” you frown, not wanting to leave the warm walls of the xhekaj home.

“let’s go for a drive, it’ll help you clear your head.”

“but arber i-“

“no, let’s go.” he says grabbing his truck keys and following you out the front door.

“you didn’t have to do this.” you say as he climbs in the drivers seat.

“well i don’t want today to be the last day i see you, so let’s take a drive so you can clear your head. talk to me y/n.” he says, pulling down the road.

“i don’t know.” you sigh, leaning your head in your hand. something about arber had always intrigued you. you being in between him and florian’s age made it confusing for you at first, of course landing on the first bit of attention you got. arber was almost always in the back of your mind whether you wanted to admit it or not.

“you know, you deserve a whole lot better than that right? i love my brother a lot, truly i do, but ive never seen him fuck up anything this bad. it’s almost out of character for him” he asks, turning to you as he drove down a straight road.

“why do you say that?” you reply.

“because, you’re always so kind and caring. watching you care for flo the way you did honestly made me jealous that i couldn’t have you for myself. not like in a weird revenge way, just in general you know?” he replies honestly, sending you spiraling into your thoughts.

jealous that i couldn’t have you for myself, you repeated over and over in your head.

“well at the time i was just returning the favor but, maybe i wasn’t.”

“you weren’t y/n, that’s just how you are. i’ve been around you enough to know that.” he replies pulling into a parking lot.

“yeah i guess……” you trailed off, “i’m sad im never gonna be in your house again.”

“says who?”

“that i can’t be in your house again?”

“yeah who told you that?” he asks, locking eyes with you as he put his truck in park. you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment as you thought about how to reply.

“i just kind of figured i couldn’t because of everything.”

“well you figured wrong, because i’ll be damned if you’re not in my house tomorrow.” he says, his eyes growing intenser, your heart pounding in your chest, the feeling of craving looming in the air.

carefully, he brought a soft hand to your cheek, bringing you in for an electric kiss, sending shockwaves through your body. you melted into his lips effortlessly as he pressed the buttons on both of your buckles, assisting you into his lap, hardly losing connection between your lips.

his hands held you delicately as your arms wrapped around his shoulder, holding him impossibly closer than you’d ever held his brother. it’s crazy how different you felt. in this moment, you craved arber in ways you’d never felt before.

you pulled away for a moment locking eyes with the brunette as he smiled, brushing strands of your hair out of your face.

“arber i-,” you pause, getting lost in his sweet gaze.

“what is it?” he asks, his hands now rested lightly on your thighs.

“i want you.” you say nervously finally admitting to yourself that maybe this is what you’d wanted all along.

“want me how honey? tell me what you want.” he replies gently.

“i wanna have sex with you.”

“okay.” he simply replies, smoothing his hands down your thighs and around the curve of your ass, his lips pressing sweet kisses to your jaw as he laid his seat all the way down, your hands tangled in his dark hair as you grew wet at the slight nips he left in your neck.

“this okay?” he asks, slipping a hand slightly under the hem of your shirt. you simply nodded allowing him to continue as he lightly squeezed your breasts, a whispered moan leaving your lips. you felt him giggle against your skin before pulling away and removing his hands.

“so ready for me huh?” he giggles and your face flashes red.

“don’t be embarrassed y/n. i’ll give you a second okay?” he giggles bringing you in for a reassuring kiss. you climbed off of his lap, your thoughts surrounding your mind as you removed your bottoms in his passengers seat.

what if this is just to get back at florian? what if he doesn’t actually want this? oh fuck it.

you’re snapped quickly out of your thoughts by a light hand touching your arm.

“everything okay?” he asks, laid back in his seat.

“yeah yes sorry, i’m ready.” you reply, as you notice his other hand in the waistband of his pants.

“okay.” he smiles kindly, pressing a kiss to your hand before you finally kicked your pants off your feet, climbing back into his lap as he strokes himself in his pants. you lean over attaching your lips as you used two fingers to rub yourself, arousing you even more at the fact that he was jerking off to you in his passengers seat.

that alone was enough to get him up.

“fuck.” he groans, lowering the waistband of his pants, his large cock springing free, landing against his lower abdomen. you took him into your hand, his hands placed on the outside of your thighs as you positioned yourself over him, lowering yourself onto his thick cock slowly. you moaned loudly as he bottomed out inside you, crashing onto your arms over him, his hands guiding you as you grinded against him, stretching you out intensely, further than you could’ve imagined.

“fuck” you moan quietly as he can begins to support your ass as you bounced up and down at a steady pace. moans and explicits echoing from both of you throughout the large truck.

“fuck you look so pretty riding me like this.” he grunts out, snapping his hips into, your eyes rolling back in your skull, butterflies tearing through your stomach at his words, reconnecting your lips instantly to muffle the moans that were torn from your throat. his swollen cock brushing the sweet spot buried so deep inside you with each thrust.

“oh my god arber, i’m gonna cum.” you whine pulling away, grinding your hips back and forth against his as your warm walls tightened around him.

“fuck baby, come on my cock.” he says lowly in your ear before you rested your head in the crook of his neck as an orgasm shook through you, your muscles spazzing uncontrollably as he fucks your through your high, eventually edging close to his own, asking you to sit up as he pulls out, spewing his milky ropes onto your stomach, panting heavily. he sits up, opening his console, using napkins to wipe his mess from your abdomen, folding the napkin up and tossing it out of the car.

“i hope you know this wasn’t just for revenge arber.” you muster up the words to say.

“i know it wasn’t y/n. we both wanted it, i could tell.” he replies, hands cupping your jaw as he pecks your lips.

“so are you coming back to mine?” he smiles as you climb back into the passengers seat.

“i think you’ve convinced me enough.” you reply with a giggle, his hands guiding resting lightly on your thigh as he drove back to the direction of his house.

“i was hoping so.” he replies, moments of silence following.

“you know, i really like you. and i actually was kinda jealous of florian that he got you and i didn’t.” he admits

“well now you have me.”

“i hope i can keep you.” he replies as he pulls back into the driveway, where you were borderline having a meltdown about an hour ago.

“just know, that girl he asked to be his girlfriend,”

“what about her?” you reply with a sigh.

“she ain’t got shit on you, okay? walk in there with your head held high.” he continues.

“okay.” you blush, rolling your eyes slightly as you climb out of the truck, grabbing the bag of clothes you brought originally meant to stay the night with florian, instead that bag ending up on arber’s bedroom floor. a place you’d never really thought they’d be. especially not when you woke up this morning.

-

you woke up draped over arber’s shirtless body, his skin warm pressed against yours. you groaned as you sat up stretching out intensely, waking him up on accident.

“i didn’t mean to wake you.” you giggle quietly.

“mmm its okay.” he groans, rubbing his eyes.

“i have to go home.” you sigh, looking down at him. he sits up out of bed sliding on pajama pants and walking you to the front door as you created small talk to fill the silence, your bag in his hand.

“text me when you get home okay? drive safe.” he says to you, pressing a kiss to your temple and sending you on your way. your heart grew in size at the gesture.

“holy hell, i can’t believe this.” you laugh to yourself as you drive away. 24 hours ago you were convinced you’d be florian’s girlfriend, and now you were effortlessly intertwined with arber.

and for some reason,,, everything felt so natural this way.

-

“i’m nervous, she’s gonna be here arber.” you sigh. the xhekaj family was hosting thanksgiving, as per usual, and you’d been going out with arber for at least 2 months now.

unlike florian, someone knew what he wanted, and that was you.

you’d never been happier. arber kept you a fresh bouquet of roses in your bedroom every two weeks, paid for your coffee, your gas, and various other little things. little things that made you feel cared for in ways you couldn’t imagine.

“she’s gonna be here but it’s fine baby, i promise. you’re with me. nothing she can do or say will hurt you, not while i’m around. and if you need to come and be in my room that’s okay. i understand this is your first time seeing her so it’s a little raw, but im here for you, my sisters and mom are too. they weren’t happy about how this all played out but they’re happy you’re still around.” he reassured squatting in front of you as you sat on his bed, your hands grasped in his as he promised you that everything would be okay.

“okay, thank you.” you reply, opening your arms to hug him, which he gladly and warmly accepted, pressing a short sweet kiss to his lips before you separated and left his bedroom, walking out into the dining room where everyone sat talking.

“y/n, i saved you a seat right here.” arber’s older sister winked, patting the seat next to you, the one on your other side quickly taken by arber.

“thank you.” you say quietly, your eyes landing on florian’s girlfriend for a moment.

the longer you were with arber, the more confident you became. the one glance at her was enough to prove that you were the better catch, which made you feel a hell of a lot better about the situation.

“oh hi, i’m kayla, i don’t think we’ve met.”

“i know who you are.” you reply to her, turning back to sophia and talking to her, florian glaring at you, annoyed at the interaction.

“oh.” she replies, her hands finding their way into her lap.

“i’m y/n.” you smile passively at her, almost in a condescending way.

“it’s nice to meet you.” she says hesitantly, you flash a quick fake smile at her before turning to arber.

“this is just embarrassing.” you giggle quietly.

“what baby?” he says lowly, leaning his ear to your lips.

“he picked that over me, you’re a smart boy.” you reply and he smirks, kissing you on the temple before turning to his mom to make her speech.

“it’s lovely having our newcomer kayla here for thanksgiving, now let’s feast.” she says and you choke slightly on your water, sophia smacking your leg with a giggle as you tried to cover it up smoothly.

you spent the whole meal speaking to everyone except them two.

everyone knew what had gone down, clearly,,,, except her. seems as though she had no idea.

“do you think she knows?” arber leans in your ear.

“not a damn clue, but it’s in the past now so, no point in telling her about it.” you reply.

“touché.” he replies, his hands finding its way to your thigh, his thumb running lightly over the fabric of your pants. the rest of the meal was smooth, eventually coming to an end and you finding your way back into arber’s room changing into your pajamas.

“you were really sexy being passive aggressive like that.” he teases, tickling your sides, laughter erupting in the room as he pecked your neck lightly with his lips. your hands harshly grabbing his wrists begging him to stop.

“finish getting changed so we can go watch our movie okay? i know you don’t really wanna be around her but you can lay against my chest and sleep for all i care, i just want you there.” he says, tugging his sweater over his head, and changing into his pajamas.

“i will, ill meet you out there.” you say and he nods leaning in for a kiss.

“i love you.” he says, face only inches away from yours. your heart stopped at his words, in the best way possible.

he loved you.

“i love you too arbs.” you reply, not trying to pause for too long, grabbing him by his jaw and bringing him in for one last kiss.

after all, maybe this all happened for a reason, that reason being that arber was probably the most perfect man you’d ever seen and you were okay being the one he loved.

[yeostars]

When ATEEZ members give you back hugs, reaction post! [hyung line ver.]

<3 Hongjoong

•Hongjoong had invited you to visit him in his new studio when you were free from work. It was getting pretty hard to spend time with your bf nowadays, and the only way you could be together was if you visited him in his studio while he was working. You took up on the offer because, why not? You would also get to see how his new studio looked like and you were excited.

•When you finally reached, hongjoong welcomed you warmly, showing you around his new studio proudly: the brand new gigantic sofa, the decorative lights, the new computer setup, everything looked amazing. You couldn't take your eyes off your surroundings, hongjoong had decorated it on quite a minimalist manner yet it looked stylish, you definitely felt that it was truly his style.

•Your breath almost hitched in your throat as two arms wrapped around your waist, slowly, as you examined a few paintings he hung at the top of the wall. "Looks good, doesn't it? Do you like it, babe?" He asked, his voice low. You placed your own palm above his arms wrapped around you, caressing it softly. "It looks amazing, joong. You're surely gonna love working here from now on." You said, a blush creeping up on your cheeks when he pulled you even closer to him.

"I missed you. It's sad that the only way we can spend time nowadays is when you visit me while I'm at work." He sounded frustrated. You felt disappointed about that too, ofcourse, but thats just how it was: your work timings and his were different so the only time when you truly got to spend time with him was during the weekends.

"I missed you too, love. Lets plan a short trip for this weekend, even if it's two days, we'll make the most of the time we have together." You tried your best to sound enthusiastic. Hongjoong always loved that about you, how you tried to be happy in front of him even though he knew you were disappointed sometimes.

"That sounds great. Now that you're here, let me order your favourite food, then we can plan the trip today itself." His arms left your waist, and his fingers naturally intertwined with yours, as he led you towards the couch. You both sat comfortably there, spending your precious time together to the fullest.

<3 Seonghwa

• You had a pretty bad day. Might just be the worst day of your life, nothing seemed to work out the way you wanted it to- you accidentally dropped your favourite mug and hot coffee spilled all over your brand new work outfit, you were late for the bus at the bus stop and you barely managed to get work and reply to mails at work, your senior had asked you to take over an absent employee's work but you couldn't get it done efficiently and got a lot of hearing from your boss regarding the same.

• Hence, here you were, sitting at the edge of your bed that you shared with your bf, your head buried in your knees as you quietly sobbed. Seonghwa was going to be home soon and you wanted to stop crying and try to be normal because you did not want to make him worry, he was going to be quite tired himself from practice. But you couldn't help it, you cried half of the time and half of the time you cursed yourself mentally.

• You almost started to get a migraine because of how much you had cried till now. You didn't even notice that Seonghwa came back home, calling out for you. At this point, you felt that you were about to have a bad anxiety attack.

"Y/N, you're already home?" He called out, searching for you and cautiously approached your shared bedroom, entering only once he noticed that the door was slightly open.

"Sweetheart? What are you doing here?" He asked, noticing your hunched shoulders, your back faced him as he entered. Without another word, he sat behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you closer to his chest. Seonghwa did not need to say anything else, he knew how you were when you were at your lowest and knew exactly what you wanted- physical affection. You immediately leaned into his embrace, your head resting against his shoulder.

"Breathe in, and out- yes, that's it. You're okay. Everything's okay, I'm here." Seonghwa hummed in satisfaction as your breathing was under control, and if he hadn't come now you would have already had a pretty bad anxiety attack. His hands moved on slow, comforting circles on your arms, his embrace truly was the most comforting thing in the world.

"I got pretty worried when I reached home and didn't see you in the living room. What happened, love?" He asked after a while.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." You let out, slowly facing him as you felt better and calmed down. Seonghwa reached out for your face, his fingers gently wiping your tear stained cheeks. "Please, don't apologise for this. You know that I'm always here for you. Wanna talk about it?" You nodded, but before that Seonghwa quickly got up and bought you a glass of water, watching you with a soft smile at the corner of his lips as you slowly chugged the water down. "Good. Now tell me who i have to deal with, who made you cry like this?" He asked, sounding quite serious.

"It's nothing, hwa. I just happened to have the worst day ever, all because of my clumsiness." You let out with a huff, and Seonghwa placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. He listened to you rant about anything and everything, all night- your worst day had apparently become so much better because of Seonghwa.

<3 Yunho

• It was the weekend, you got up quite earlier than usual instead of staying in bed and sleeping longer. Your stomach grumbled violently, you remembered how you barely had dinner last night because you were trying intermittent fasting to loose some weight. As you thought about whipping up a breakfast that was healthy and could make you full as well, you slowly untangled yunho's arms around your shoulders, careful not to wake him up and headed towards the bathroom to brush first and then made your way towards the kitchen.

• The first light of dawn streamed towards the kitchen window, as you softly hummed to yourself while flipping some eggs and reached the cutting board to slice up a few avocados to add on top. All of a sudden, a pair of strong arms encircled your waist, making you flinch. "Geez, can you atleast give me a warning!!!" You let out, calming down instantly as you saw Yunho's adorable still-sleepy face and he backed down a little, rubbing his eyes. You chuckled, placed his arms around your waist once again and continued slicing up the avocados.

• "You seriously get scared by the smallest stuff, don't you?" He teased, now fully awake. "Not my fault that you hug me from behind out of nowhere. You know I flinch easily."

"Good morning to you too." He replied instead, placing his chin firmly on your shoulder, observing your every little move on the cutting board. You hummed, now reaching out for the whole wheat bread packet. Yunho's eyes landed on your neck, and he detached his chin from your shoulders, smirking to himself. A noticeable, reddish spot, a hickey- at the right side of your neck. "What are you doing?" You asked, as your eyes met his and you glanced down sideways, trying your best to see what exactly he was staring at and tracing that made him so smug. He now placed a kiss exactly at the spot where he gave you a hickey, admiring it.

•"You're insane, you know that? I'll have to cover that up with makeup now, I have work tomorrow..." You sighed, but at the same time you couldn't hide the blush that formed on your cheeks as you remembered what exactly had happened last night.

"I'll do it more often now. How about I suck at a spot right besides this one?" Yunho teased, as you swatted your arm playfully at his, he lightly stumbled behind. "That's what you get for being mean first thing in the morning." You pouted, but reached forward and placed a soft kiss on his cheek regardless when he flashed you his best innocent puppy face smile.

"Go brush and sit, I'll cook some eggs for you too." You said and he nodded, practically running towards the bathroom because apparently he was very hungry, too.

<3 Yeosang

• It was a day off for the both of you. Regardless, you had to get some work done from home because you had been procrastinating for the same. After having breakfast together, yeosang was sitting on the couch, gaming in your living room and you sat at the work desk in your room, carefully reviewing mails and getting such work done.

• You spent 2 hours consistently working, and although your chair was quite comfortable your shoulders started to ache badly. Right when you were groaning about your shoulder pain, Yeosang entered your room, passing you a gentle smile. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms all around your neck, and you giggled when his breath tickled your ears.

"You've been working since hours, y/nnie~ come on, it's time to have lunch." He said, staring at your laptop screen and you typed hurriedly, your stomach grumbling at the mention of lunch, you were quite hungry.

"Just a few minutes, then we can order something. Ah, my shoulder hurts, can you move behind a little?" You asked, and Yeosang immediately removed his hands from your neck, resting them gently on your shoulders instead.

"Sorry, I didn't realise. You want me to massage them? I'm sure you'll feel relieved if I do, I'm quite skilled." He added.

"Yes, please. Thank you in advance, yeo." You sighed in pleasure as he bagan to knead your shoulders with him thumbs, applying gentle pressure to the knots that had formed from hours of tension. His fingers worked expertly, finding the tight spots and easing the stiffness with slow, deliberate movements.

"Make sure to take breaks in between. You overwork yourself sometimes." He said, continuing to massage your shoulders skillfully. "I will, thank you. You're the best." You continued to work for a few minutes more as Yeosang sat on your bed, watching you. When your work was finally done, you got up, and Yeosang reached for you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. "Let's order something, I'm starving."

"How about we watch the drama you're currently watching, while having lunch?" You said, knowing how much Yeosang loved watching that drama. "That'd be perfect, let's go." He smiled, leading you towards the living room.

[saintgoths]

ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜱʏᴍᴘʜᴏɴʏ

ARTHUR MORGAN FIC.

you ask arthur out on a date.

RATING - 18+ [f/m sex, m!receiving oral, female worshiping, biting and cream pie].

WORD COUNT - 1,918.

You’ve never done this before, you were traditional, and frankly stuck up, you usually expected from others, a habit Ms. Grimshaw tried to smack out of you, but would blame Hosea for raising you with the cleanest spoon. Then there was Micah, who would joke about how you’d scare every man so in the end, she’d have no one but him to settle down with.

You always vomited at the idea, at the idea of laying down with Micah, so asking Arthur out on a date wouldn’t be so bad. It wasn’t like you hated Arthur, you didn’t, it was actually quite the opposite. The two of you were sweet on one another and he had been very charming to you, very sweet, in all type of ways that’ll have Mary-Beth giggle and write down ideas for her novellas.

With a smile on your face, you had watched Arthur step down his horse and hitch it. “Slow down there,” you smiled as you stepped by him, confused his eyes looked down on you.

“What got a favour? I’ve done a lot of favours today,” he says in a comedic tone. “If you want me to do you a favour, you’re gonna have to wait till t’morrow cherry pie.”

“Oh,” you frowned as you readied a joke. “I thought you liked it when I asked you for favours,” you poked with a smug look.

He scratched the back of his head, it took the effort to make Arthur blush, but you had your quick and slimy ways. “Now what do you want?” He said as he picked out his cigarette, he lit it up with his lighter and watched you as the fiery hues illuminated his face.

“I want to take you out on a date,” you said with a confident look. Arthur almost choked on the smoke.

He laughed before he patted his chest. “You asking me out on a date?” He then looked around. “Is it flying pigs?”

You clicked your tongue annoyed, then you gently punched his shoulder. “Arthur…” you groaned impatient. “This is a once in a life time thing---”

“Sure is,” Arthur cut off as he stood up straight. “It’s normally me asking you to go places, since you’re traditional and all.”

“Well, not traditional enough to have you bed me without a ring,” you recalled and he shrugged his shoulders.

“You’ve been bedded before I even had the idea of courting you,” he pointed and you dramatically placed your hands on your hips. Amused by the raring look you had on your face he finally laughed. “I’m just kiddin’,” he said as he stepped on his cigarette. “When?”

“Dawn,” you answered and with a nod and agreeable, Arthur patted his horse.

Aside from the beguiled look Arthur had on his face, there had been an enthralled glint in his eyes that exposed he had been happy at this change of being asked out on a date by you. With your lips pursed you contemplated on doing more surprises to enthral him.

✿✿✿

Arthur’s body jerked in response to how your mouth had been closed around his thickness, he never considered himself to be a loud moaner, but the way your tongue flicked against the opening of his cock and how your eyes were kept on him, he couldn’t help but expose you to his flustered and dizzy cries of felicity as he moved the thickness of his fingers within the locks of your hair, and with an impatient flare in his eyes, he supported your mouth to sink lower, taking him entirely.

You gagged when you felt the head of his dick hit the back of your throat, with blurred eyes you blinked your tears away as you allowed Arthur to push the ring of your mouth to the base of his sack. Heavily you had breathed through your nose as he gently bucked his size into your opening a few couple of times, you could tell he was close, with the way his legs had stiffened and how the movement of his hips progressed to be rigid.

“[Y/N]!” He had cried out as he pressed the back of his head against the picnic blanket you had previously laid out for the two of you. “[Y/N]!” He gaspingly cried out as his thick ropes coated the walls of your throat, you swallowed as much as you could before you pulled away with a big sigh.

With a gulp, you sat on your knees while you chased after your breath. Listening to the sounds of the trickling waterfall the two of you had been near had returned you to a state of unwinding. It had been a beautiful spot you had chosen, a very private area away from the camp which had blessed you with the solitude to share the intimate time with your lover.

It’s not like the two of you never shared intimate moments in the camp, there had been countless times where the both of you did, despite the complaints or jokes shared around the camp after your interval with the Arthur, the connection between the two of you deepened enough to the point Arthur had not wanted others to hear how loud he could be with you. Alongside, Micah could be very annoying about it.

The spot had much healthy land, there was a lack of animals, but you had considered that to be due to the noises Arthur was making; but when you looked up, the beautiful view of the Moon that had spangled and shimmered in the night sky was beautiful enough to inspire the inmost of dreamers and creatives to make a love story or heartfelt painted art.

You had returned your sight to Arthur; he had circled the pad of his fingers against the depths of his nose as he gently breathed himself to stability. Briefly, you had smiled at the circumstance you had put him in, but had been too hungry to speak about it. Verily, the two of you were supposed to eat before you massed the lewd moment, but the both of you had an intense sexual appetite, particularly you.

“Come on, let’s eat the food I made,” you said as you moved towards the picnic basket and Arthur sat up on his elbows for support and you pulled a face at him before you made fun of him. “Arthur, don’t tell me my dick sucking tired you out, I’m not even finished with you.”

Moved, Arthur went to sit up straight. “Today’s just been tirin’,” he replied before he took some of the fare from the basket. You hummed as you leaned on the side of your body and Arthur glanced towards the curves of your body that had been highlighted by the stars, you had looked like the purest form of art, your hair messy but perfectly framed around your face, draped over your shoulders and fell like a river of ink, he could feel himself starken, shadowed eyes as his orbs detailed the rest of your body.

“I can feel you watching me,” you smiled as you leaned your head to the side. “If you wanted to lay with me before eating you could just say that,” you winked as you put your food away. “When it comes to you, I don’t need much persuasion,” you said as you sat tall on your knees and Arthur blushed.

“You don’t have an off button, don’t you?” Arthur joked; it wasn’t like he disliked the idea of feeling your warmth again, particularly because of how tense his dick had been.

In faux thought, with your index finger, you tapped the bottom of your chin as you pulled yourself closer to him. “Let me think---no,” you said before you leaned on top of him. “And it seems like you yourself don’t,” you said, suggestive of his hard cock.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Arthur chuckled and so you did, bodies pressed against each other as you had moaned into his mouth. With your arms folded around his shoulders, you could feel his large hands study your curves before they slid down the plumpness of your buttocks, you had gasped once you had felt the texture of his fingers slide against the wet slit of your opening, and impatient, you had circled the width of his cock.

Your thumb slid over the tip of it as he played with the pearl of your pussy. You had whimpered against his lips the second you felt two of his digits slip inside of you, slowly readying you for his bulk, you gently bounced against his fingers, your lips moving to the depth and slope of his neck as you could feel him move his shaft to your cunt.

You had groaned erst you felt the emptiness of his fingers, but it was soon replaced by his girth and like a symphony you had cried out in pleasure, he had reached so deep inside of you, that you couldn’t help but angle your back. “Arthur!” You had moaned while he supported you to bounce on his member, his hold had been firm, protective and possessive as you could feel his eyes pierce through you, like he had the desire to see the entirety of you inside and out.

A crave and covet to cognize the divinity that had sat on top of him. “[Y/N]!” He had moaned as the length of his arms curved around your figure, he picked up his pace by moving himself beneath you, his skin hot against yours as he pushed your figure against his rough lined build, over-whelmed you had allowed Arthur to hold you against him and take control, you moans uncovered with a denuded and impure melody as you could feel the size of his cock bind and cave deep inside of you.

Your eyes had been blurred with tears as you fell numb against his figure, he had been so rough but so gentle with the words he had whispered into your ear, calming you down but indulging you to take it. “It’s okay---you can take it---” he calmed and your moans twisted into a higher pitch, you had clenched hard around him as you could feel the liveliness in your body tingle with vigour.

Your toes curled as your eyes curved to the back of your head. “Arthur!” You had cried out, overstimulated with your pleasure, using all your strength to continue bouncing on his cock, feeling the wet tip lick against your walls and treacly spots, thus, with swiftness you had bit into his shoulder as your body shook against him, milking yourself around him with your cloying nectar.

You had fallen against him, but, Arthur, had continued to move, racing for his high as he tightly held you against him, as if you were a dainty kite ready to fly away. The man resumed to fuck you like you were a doll, sapping the white ropes of his cum inside of you, the ambrosia mixing with yours, and with a few more pumps, Arthur’s body had jerked and he eventually let go of you.

Tired, the two of you had been slumped, your body against his while Arthur’s body laid senseless against the used blanket. Exhausted, you had barely spoken a word, but had gently whimpered when you had felt his length slip out of your body.

“Tired?” He joked and slowly you looked up at him.

“I sure am,” you answered.

masterlist

tagging @javierssidechick because they gave me the idea.

[animeficsworld]

His Love

Gaara x Reader

Summary: Love was something he never knew. It was only something he could see in others, but never in himself.

He was lonely his entire life until he met Naruto. They were similar yet different. 

The leaf village changed his life forever. 

He found friends and something he never knew he could find love.

Gaara became the youngest Kazekage in the history of the sand village, and he became the youngest man to get married.

Your love started to bloom when your eyes met, even if neither of you realized it at the time. 

But by the age of 17, you were married.

A ninja from the leaf village fell in love with the Kazekage. And yet, your love was perfect.

You showed a new side of life to Gaara, and he admired you for that. Even if many told you that your marriage wouldn't last, you proved them wrong.

---

When you arrived at the leaf village, you were alone, seeking to find Hinata so you could help her on her big day.

After all, you couldn't have a nice wedding, and so, you were determined to have every friend of yours have their big day as perfect as anyone could dream of. 

You loved seeing everyone so happy. All of your friends.

You also noticed some new love beginning to bloom. 

You let out a sigh and took a bite from your cake.

Gaara couldn't make it to the wedding, he was too busy. But you did have a great time with his brother and sister.

You had a lot of fun. 

You even got a bit tipsy during the late hours. But it was all simply so much fun.

You got back to your room when the sun was almost rising. You were tired but your mind was running miles.

You missed your husband. You knew he was busy, you never blamed him for that. But in moments like this, you did want to be with him.

The next day, you went home after saying your goodbyes. Everyone was aware of your relationship with Gaara, you two barely separated. And anyone who dares and forces you to leave the other's side will die.

Simple as that. 

And so, home you went to your husband and your beloved cat.

It was no surprise to you that Gaara was in his office working, but you did go and say hello to him before disappearing into the kitchen so you could cook a nice meal. 

You were almost ready when a presence behind you made you alert. 

"Do you ever regret marrying me?" you turned around and looked at him, letting him continue. "I'm so busy all the time, I do not have time for you, we couldn't even have a normal wedding."

"It doesn't matter to me. I know you love me and I love you, that is what I care about," you said as you turned back and finished up dinner. "Let's eat. Unless you have to go back?" 

"No. I'm done for today."

It has been a while since you two ate at the table. It was a nice change. Just a light conversation and some nice homemade food. 

You decided to go to bed early, laying in his arms was nothing new to you. Laying in his arms while falling asleep was very rare for the two of you. 

So when an opportunity like this arises, you are quick to act. 

"I love you." you said before you fell asleep.

"I love you too." he said it back but you were asleep already, but it was okay, because you knew.

You knew he loved you.

He showed it to you when he took you in after you felt so lost when Naruto left.

He showed his love when he refused to let you out of his sight because the last time he did, you got hurt.

He showed his love when he blushed so much after your first kiss.

You knew he loved you, and you loved him just the same.

[yourdeluluescapist]

SHACKLES| Bangchan X Fem!reader| Request! @jiyeonslays

A/N: For some reason, anytime I give a date on anything. Life decides to hit me with its trials. Romance for some reason hinders fanfics. It was supposed to only take 2 days, but apparently my love life didn't like that answer. But i did put in more effort to make it a little more worth it. <3

Warnings: smut, creampie, semi rough sex, half angst half fluff.

WC:1617.

✧

It’d been 2 years since he went to jail for murdering him. You’d wished it hadn’t been labeled murder, it was just much needed vindication. He did it for you, to protect you, to make sure nothing came between him and his love. But thankfully, he was released today. And you were damn well gonna give him a warm welcome.

---

The price of safety from another almost felt like it wasn’t worth it. You’d missed Chan ever since he was locked up, even if it was legally wrong. It was the only way, the only exceptional thing that could’ve been done to keep you safe. You knew damn well if he didn’t do what he did, it would’ve broken you. 

You normally weren’t the one that thought killing another should ever be an option. But the pain, the abuse that went under every type, and the downright disgusting treatment of you.  It felt right, divine intervention, the only call that could begin to rectify and convict your ex of his act of torture.

Hours upon hours of his verbal berating, his fist clutching whenever you didn’t agree, and the pain from being treated like nothing and only seen as another thing on the earth that stole breath from the earth. 

But Chan? He saved you from that, freed you from that torment and showed you what real love was. Being treated like you mattered was refreshing and very much needed. He took care of you even after all the reassuring that killing him was the right decision. Throughout all he did, you were still never prepared to watch someone you hated with all of your being, simply die in front of you.

Trauma was never something you’d wanted to have to stomach, but knowing it all. You almost wished you pulled the trigger instead of Chan.

But all reminiscing made you forget the fact that you had ignored while rethinking all of this while spread out in your bed.

He’d be getting released today, and right now? You should have already been on the road..

A heavy groan and slow, yet heavy hand slowly dragging down your face. You clothed your naked body, got your keys, and left to start this dreadfully long 2 hour drive.

- - - 

He got into the passenger seat of your car, the look on his face looking different after so long. But his aura hasn't changed, he was still the same chan. Even after taking the life of a man who absolutely deserved it. That comforting smile still melted your heart, and all you wanted to see was that smile you had missed so much. All day, all night. 

“Hey, baby. It's been a while huh? Did you miss me?” Chan turned his head to you, smiling ear to ear as he studied your face again.

“Don’t ask me something stupid like that,” You leaned over from your seat and hugged him. “Of course I did, you know that.” You slightly pouted.

“Hey I was joking.” He chuckled, his tone softening from how much he missed you too. “I know you did, and you’re well aware I did too.” He embraced you and placed a gentle, clasping hand behind your head and kissed the top of your head.

”I wrote and sent you things every day! Even your favorite books, and sometimes those pictures we took a while ago.” You pulled yourself away from him to give him his space.

“And I thanked you for all of that. Especially those nude ones, I needed something to pleasure myself too.” He smirked, leaning onto the car down and placing his head on his fist.

“Even in prison, you're still a walking, talking cock.” You put the car in drive and pull out the lot.

“One you’d always happily service” He said in a jumpy tone, shooting a playful punch at your elbow.

Once you guys got on the road, silence and whatever was on the radio made the ambience of the car for the next hour. Though quiet, it was sweet. Being with him after all this time, you didn’t care how you spent your time with him.

Thinking back on all the unhinged and fun conversations you shared in this same car bestowed a lingering smile on your face. It was so good to see him again. Every part of your body pulsated and quivered with pent up excitement and libido. Being near him brought it all back, you haven’t done the deed with anyone since then, and you thought.

“God, I missed him badly. I’m wet just sitting next to him now, I’m so pent up I could just strip him and take him whole..” 

Knowing that, that's what you were going to do. You wanted him to take you whole, you’d been waiting for him to touch you, to fuck you, just simply kiss you after all this time. You just yearned for another time where his key would unlock your hole.

- - -

The feeling of being picked up and slammed on this bed he used to always take you on was lip biting. He didn’t waste a second when you shot the offer of. 

“Tonight, I don’t care what you do to me. Whatever hole you please, however rough you wanna do me. I just want you to fuck me crazy.” 

“Was this what you were waiting for? Just for me to fuck you like a slut?” He asked in a husky voice, his hands dancing against your breast. 

“Mhm.” You moaned at his touch, “That’s exactly what I want, I’ve been waiting years for this. I need you bad okay?” You quiver at every movement, you haven’t been so tense at a man’s touch since then. It feels like you couldn’t even handle this let alone full blown fucking. But your body told you, it wanted it all. 

“Well okay princess, I'm gonna have my way with you okay?” He leaned down, being mere inches away from your neck and began to pepper you down.

You nod in agreement, his lips feeling like butterfly wings across your skin as he kisses around your neck, slowly going down the line and making it to your clavicle, playfully nibbling at it and getting more sensual everytime your body shakes in pleasure. 

He groaned as his kisses got lower and the depth between each one getting harder and harder. You had basically begged for him to hurry up and get down to your pussy. Though he knew that, and he loved taking his sweet time to savor every part of you. To tease and to annoy you. 

“Oh, Chan!” You screamed, “Just get down there already, I'm begging you I can't take it anymore.” 

Taking what you said into playful consideration, he stopped kissing you from top to bottom and quickly dragged his tongue down your torso until he was met face to face with your sopping wet entrance.

He was like a plumber the way his tongue plunged his tongue in and out of your vagina. Also following that, the onslaught of a very much invited finger joined in to make sure your pipes were cleaned. 

He only sucked more and more, kept changing from fast and slow with his fingers. You couldn't handle it anymore, your body knew it couldn't hold that orgasm any longer. And knowing that, you came all over his face and his fingers.

“That's only the first time, sweetheart. He uttered, licking his finger clean and beginning to take his briefs off. Releasing his rock hard cock, veins bulging all the way from the tip down. Tense and ready to reunite with its plaything once more.

He had crawled on top of you, showing every ounce of his muscular body like it was in 4k. His big chest, his bolstering biceps, and chiseled abs. Also not ignoring his huge package that was waiting to get in the back of your truck.

“Are you finally gonna actually fuck me? You know I hate that foreplay shit, I'm too horny for that.” You playfully pout at him, a seductive smirk growing on your face.

“Mhm,” He began to drag his tip around your clit, covering it in all of your sweet juices. “Just you like it.” He said as he rammed it inside you, a strong sexual moan escaping your mouth with pants following its path.

“Oh my, FUCK. I needed this, after so long I’ve been begging to be filled up like this again. His cock is just playing inside me, I can feel every throb with double the effect. My pussy is just hugging him back with every time that dick shows me it still wants me.

He didn't beat around the bush this time, his strokes went deep. In and out repeatedly, harder and harder with every second that passed. You could feel him getting closer and closer, and you only began to think more wildly. Making you wrap your arms around his torso, your grip tight as he started to pound you harder. 

“Cum inside me, Chan. Please, I want it so bad.” 

“As you wish, princess.” He replied, going balls deep inside you and releasing a fat load inside you. One that would definitely knock you up.

You pant and pant feeling his cum course through your vagina.

After he dropped that inside you, he had basically collapsed on top of you, obviously wore out after so long without sex. Though he was heavy this was the only time that you would let this happen .So you caressed his head and your fingers through his hair as he cuddled up on you. 

You missed this and would do anything to keep this forevermore.

[bunny-jpeg]

Hi, may I have a beery trifle with champagne, delivered by Phillip Graves please? Thanks!

the bakery menu!

the bakery is still open with lots of delicious treats still available on the menu!

berry trifle ("wrong. try again.") + champagne (sugar daddy situation) and your server today will be phillip graves (call of duty!)

cw: smut/pwp, sugar daddy au, punishments (spanking) & rules, implied age gap, brat taming, naked woman/clothed man, couch sex, power dynamic

graves liked pretty things. he liked them young, dumb and full of cum. to toss some bills at their pretty faces and be on his way to the next pretty things.

but he liked you, he liked you a lot. normally he got tired of his toys and went in search of another one, but you stayed. you had even moved some of your things into his nice house in houston. mascara on the counter, body cream on the nightstand, you even had some of your favourite snacks in the cupboard.

you were almost wife material.

but he didn't want to get ahead of himself. you were still a fair bit younger than him. before he married you, he had to train the brat out of you. that was what he liked about you.

to an extent.

that was how you ended up in the position you were in.

it was sunny in july when you acted out, you and graves had gone into the city to do a little shopping. halfway through the trip you had gotten all pout-y because you didn't want to carry the shopping bags.

"if you buy them, darlin', you have to carry them." graves said as he pulled you towards him and kissed your cheek, "now stop poutin' or daddy is gonna be mad."

the pout never ceased, and soon after the whining started. now graves hated whiners, he didn't accept it with the shadows, he sure as hell wasn't going to accept it from a little girl who tasted like bubblegum.

he sighed and slung an arm around you. he tipped his sunglasses down, those beautiful eyes gazed at you. but his expression was stern, "behave."

you leaned up against him and said, "can you carry the bags?"

he shook his head, "i think i've been spoilin' you and little too much there, darlin'. i think it's time for a little bit of reform."

he thought that the idea of punishment would be enough to settle you down into the passive little kitten he knew you could be. but that wasn't the case, so something had to be done about it.

after you two got home, graves left the bags in the car and took you out of the car by your arm. you struggled to meet his stride. he was mumbling to himself about something as you felt a familiar twist in your gut. you reap what you sow, he once told you.

he didn't even get you into the bedroom, instead having you thrown onto the couch. as a result your pretty pink skirt got hiked up as you sat there like a girl about to be scolded.

graves could see your pretty striped panties under the skirt, but had to keep himself composed. he couldn't just crumble at the sight of your clothed pussy.

"do you know what you did?" he asked, giving you a chance to redeem yourself. he knew he couldn't stay mad at you forever, but he had to set you on a proper course. women your age had a habit of being bratty.

you shook your head, "i did nothing wrong, phillip."

he made a face, "wrong. try again. and if you call me phillip one more time, i'll be makin' you shine my boots with your tongue. now get naked before i cut it all off of you."

you pouted, "well, maybe if you helped me carry all those bags then maybe i wouldn't have been so pissy!" you crossed your arms.

graves raised his eyebrows at the sudden behaviour issues you having. he was a little impressed by the outburst, but it was a behaviour he had to correct. he grabbed you by the face and said, "strip. now. slut."

you slowly took off the t-shirt you wore, followed by the provocative pink skirt. you felt heat in your cheeks as you were left only in a pair of panties and bra. you looked up at graves' once more.

graves eyed you, "still the prettiest thing on the lot." he patted your cheek a little harder than most out, "now, get fully naked. i want to see those pretty tits and that soaked pussy."

you slipped off your undergarments and sat on the leather of the couch, the coolness of it felt odd against your bare pussy as you gazed up at graves like an innocent little deer. but graves couldn't be deceived by your innocent looks.

you were a girl who needed to be put on the right path.

graves grabbed you by the arm and got you over the back of the couch with your bottom half fully exposed to him. this is how graves liked you, bent over a surface and ready for him.

your naked body was for him to enjoy. you were his little slut. he took off his belt and got behind you. his cock was at a perfect level to sink in and properly fuck you.

you anticipated his cock, but instead you got his hand slamming down onto your bare ass cheek. you jolted, your heat in your stomach grew. graves dug his palm into where he slapped which only made the pain more intense. "daddy!"

"i know, darlin'. but i can't have you thinkin' you can misbehave. actions have consequences and you have rules. one of them is to not be a whiny little bitch when you don't get your way." he laid down another hard smack, then another and then another.

you gripped onto the back of the couch and flinched when his smacks came raining down. but graves used his other hand to pin you down onto the surface.

"stay still, or it's gonna hurt me." he groped your ass for a moment, letting you feel the pain before he went back to slapping. you were a mess by the time he was finished and his cock was painfully erect. it was drooling pre-cum all over the bottom of his white t-shirt.

your ass felt hot and a bit of a bruise was forming, hopefully that'll be a stark reminder of the rules of your agreement. you barely had time to think before graves sank his cock into you.

you gripped onto the couch tighter and whimpered, "daddy!"

he chuckled, "that's better. see, isn't like better when you're like this? when you're a pretty little thing for daddy to fuck? you can be a good girl, that's why daddy spoils you. you just needed a little guidance."

his pace was brutal, you could feel your insides being rearranged by the man's heavy cock inside of you. you panted heavily and held on tightly as graves' moved up into you.

"pretty girl."

"daddy."

"i know, just lay there all pretty for me." his voice was a low growl as he bucked up into you. he did adore you, even if you did misbehave at times.

you felt like a toy under his control, your heart fluttered at the feeling of his heavy cock inside of you. the sex was hot and left heat in your cheeks. the slapping sounds of you two fucking made you gasp.

his words were slurred and hot. he was so domineering that it made you flushed all over. your core throbbed and you felt closer to orgasm. you panted heavily between moans and felt a rush through you.

"please, daddy!" you panted, your cunt tightened around his cock. sweat down your back as you felt so close to orgasm. with a few more heavy thrusts, you came around his cock.

the tightness around his length took the breath out of him and his pace became more aggressive. his heart hammered in his chest as with a few more thrusts he finished inside of you. he painted your pretty pussy white with his cum as he slowed down his heavy thrusts.

he panted heavily. his polo shirt clung to his back as he felt the wind get taken out of him. he held onto you for a moment before he slid his softened cock out of your soaked pussy. he wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "that's it, that's a good girl." then gave you a half-hearted slap across both ass cheeks, "now you be good, or daddy won't go so easy on your next time."

as if your ass cheeks were bruised, but instead you arched your back and whimpered, "yes, daddy. thank you, daddy."

graves loved the sound of that. his sweet girl.

[larissasgirl]

Can I request some HEAVY fluff with regina where reader have a terrible period (cramps, heavy flow, fatigue, always hungry, and just constant sobbing. Yes I'm on my period and I hate everything (except your writing)) (i love your writing)

You can always call me

Helllooo! Better late than never👉👈 Once again, sorry for the mistakes. As my friend would say, I'm just a girl😂 Hope you like it🥺

Saying you were in a bad mood was an understatement. Truth to be told, you weren’t angry per say, but rather in pain. In so much pain that it would knock the wind out of your lungs as you waited for the waves to pass. You had always been truly lucky in that department, as you could go months without feeling any discomfort. But when it happened, when it would be the exception, it would make up for the ones that were pain free. It made it almost impossible for you to function normally. 

You had woken up after your girlfriend, as you reached next to you for Regina, only to find her side of the bed cold and empty. You knew she was under a lot of pressure lately, always going to work before you were even up and coming back at crazy hours of the night. You sighed as you started feeling the familiar wave of pain slowly creeping its way back to you when you got up and got dressed, only for it to grow in intensity as the day progressed. You had contemplated calling in sick, but you knew how hard it was to find a substitute at the last minute, and you truly didn’t have the energy to make up a lesson plan for the day to give it to them. You were working with Mary Margaret at the elementary school, which happened to be the perfect job for you. Regina would often roll her eyes and call you a child, but you could always see through her fake annoyance whenever she said it. She adored you. She adored the way you would often come home with messy braids done by your students during recess and your arms full of drawings, with I love you’s written in messy handwritings and mistakes, which she knew made your heart a little lighter. She loved how happy the tiny humans made you, how you’d often randomly get an idea of an activity during dinner and shared it with her excitedly, wanting her opinion on it. She loved the way you cared so much, not only for them, but for everyone around you. You were a breath of fresh air when she thought she was meant to be alone for the rest of her life, and she absolutely adored everything about you. 

But today, you were completely drained, and you knew even though you were in pain, your kids would still be full of energy. In times like these, you would curse in every language you knew in your head, to be sure that the tiny humans wouldn’t hear, of course. You had managed to push though the morning by sitting down as much as you could, the medication you had taken after waking up slowly losing its effect. You were so thankful when the bell rang for lunch as the kids all rushed to the cafeteria, finally letting your head drop on your arms. You felt like you couldn’t move from your desk, the pain becoming unbearable by the minute.

“Hey, Y/N, do you think I can borrow a…” Mary Margaret, as her usual cheerful self, had just stormed in your classroom, looking to borrow something from you as she did every day. She was always a bit distracted and often misplaced her belongings, and you would usually just shake your head smiling before lending her your pen, your sharpener, or even your paper trimmer. “Are you alright?” she had stopped in her tracks when she had noticed your posture, and you slowly raised your head before you forced a smile on your face.

“I’m just in a little pain, but it will pass,” you shrugged it off as if you hadn’t wished to disappear into the ground over and over again just seconds before. You forced yourself to get up from your chair, leaning on your desk with both hands as a wave of dizziness suddenly washed over you. It wasn’t uncommon that the pain would lead to you to be physically sick, getting too much for your body to cope. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be in front of Mary Margaret and at your desk. 

“Are you sure? You’re as white as a ghost,” she rushed to your side when she noticed your struggling, grabbing your forearms and helping you sitting down once again.

“It’s just my stupid period, I’m not the first neither the last,” you mumbled before reaching for your bag under your desk, attempting to find your medication in the mess you had made when you packed it up this morning. 

“I think you should go home, Y/N. You’re clearly in pain,” you missed the way her brows furrowed when another wave of pain rushed over you, a small whimper leaving your lips. 

“It’s too complicated. Besides, the day is almost over” you sighed, before finally finding what you were looking for in your bag, as you grabbed your water bottle to swallow the pill, hoping it would take effect quickly. 

“If by almost over, you mean the hour that will be the lunch break plus the entire afternoon, you’re clearly not thinking straight. Come on, get your things and I’ll take care of everything,” she argued, her hands on her hips, her brown eyes defying you to refuse. With a sigh and no strength to fight back, you started grabbing your things on your desk, missing the way she quickly pulled out her phone from her pockets before typing something and putting it back there before helping you to get your belongings. 

“Thank you, and I’m sorry,” you whispered the last part, ashamed of yourself for leaving work before the end of the day knowing she had to cover for you. 

“Don’t be sorry, I’d rather have you back feeling better so I can keep borrowing your things. Nobody else will let me,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood, which seemed to work as it made you smile a little before guiding you to the school’s front doors. She held it open for you, pointing at the black Mercedes that was parked right in front of you. It took you a second to recognize it, even though it seemed oddly familiar, the sun blinding you momentarily. 

“Did you seriously called Regina?” your eyes widened, feeling a headache forming behind your eyelids. You rubbed them off with your fists like a child, not caring about the mascara you had quickly put on earlier, which made Mary Margaret beam at you when some fell under your eyes, completely obnoxious of the anxiety raising inside of you. She waved at Regina who was walking towards you with her lips pressed together, an indication she was not happy. You were in trouble big time.

“I didn’t called, I texted her. See you later!” she turned on her heels and walked back into the school before you could answer back. You now understood a little better why Regina was aiming for her head back in the Enchanted Forest. You turned your gaze back to your girlfriend, who grabbed your bag from your shoulder, noticing the way her jaw was clenched, her eyes boring into yours with an expression you only took for anger even though her movements were nothing but gentle. 

“I’m so sorry Regina, I didn’t know she would bother you at work,” you hesitated, looking at your feet, not daring to meet her eyes. It seemed so silly to pull her out of her office when you knew she was so busy simply because you had your period.

She grabbed your chin with her hand, her thumb slowly brushing circles on your cheek as she forced you to meet her eyes. They were much softer now, almost glossy, and you realized that what you had mistaken for irritation was worry. 

“You never bother me,” she pulled you close to her, holding you the closest she possibly could, your face finding its usual spot in her neck. You breathed in her scent, your shoulders dropping as the anxiety left your body before wrapping your arms around her waist as tightly as you could. “I want you to call me when you’re in pain,” she whispered into your hair, swinging you lightly from side to side. “I want to be there for you, Y/N,” she pulled back to look at your face, but keeping you close to her, your eyes flooded with tears as she gently brushed away the ones that managed to escape. “You always come first. Please, never hesitate to call me.”

You were sure your knees would give in if she wasn’t holding you close to her, the love and worry filling her beautiful brown eyes making a new wave of tears escaping your owns. You simply nodded as she softly grabbed your hand, not before wiping the tears from your cheeks once again and kissing it when she was done. The way she would drop her stubborn, sarcastic attitude and become so caring, so gentle with you, even though you were in public, and no matter who watched never ceased to amaze you. It almost made you sob. “Let’s go home now, shall we?”

She led you to the passenger’s side of her car and opened the door for you, as you sat down with another wave of pain stealing your breath away. She noticed immediately, being familiar with your often painful episodes from the year you’d been together, and gently kissed your forehead before closing the door and making her way to the other side, sitting down behind the wheel and driving off right away. “We’ll be home soon, and then I can put warm water to heat for the bag and make you tea. Deal?” she briefly looked at you to make sure you had heard her before returning her attention on the road, seeing you nod in the corner of her yes.

“And we can cuddle?” you whispered, so quietly that she almost didn’t hear it.

Regina smiled widely and glanced at you again, pulling a hand just above your knee, rubbing your skin softly with her thumb. “Yes darling, we can cuddle,” she laughed, making you blush at the nickname, and also because you knew it meant she had taken the rest of the day off to spend it with you. It made your heart swell with love for the woman sitting next to you, not taking your eyes off her for the duration of the drive. 

It appeared to be much faster than usual, even though you didn’t lived too far from the school. You blamed it on your fuzzy brain and on your lack of concentration, being too busy staring at your girlfriend, not knowing Regina had sped up a little, hating to see you hurting so much and wanting to take care of you as soon as possible. She helped you to get out of the car and argued with you over carrying your bag inside, before you finally gave in and let her do it. She opened the door and you went in, letting yourself fall on the couch with a sight. You closed your eyes and tried to take deep breaths, hence why you didn’t noticed when your girlfriend wrapped your shoulders with your favorite blanket that had little brown bears that you absolutely adored and that she hated, stating it was made for children and that she wasn’t one. It made you giggle a bit when you peeked through your heavy eyelids to see what she had wrapped you in with, only to notice she wasn’t next to you anymore.

“And what are you laughing at exactly?” she questioned from the kitchen, leaning in the doorframe to get a better look at you. You figured she had put water to boil as you noticed the empty water bag in her hand, your eyes softening even more at the sight in front of you.

“You gave me your favorite blanket,” your mouth was curved into a soft smile, hinting that you were finding it utterly adorable and were simply teasing her a little. 

She rolled her eyes but smirked at you, happy to see you almost back to normal, turning her attention back to the kettle, the high pitching noise indicating the water was hot. She carefully filled the water bag and screw the lid shut as tight as she could, as the last thing she wanted to do was to burn you. Then, she reached for the tea box and quickly filled a cup with water before making her way back to you, setting the fuming mug on the living room’s small table and handing you the now warm water bag. She sat next to you, her leg touching yours, and studied your face carefully for any signs of discomfort. She was relieved to see the colors returning to your face slowly, having also noticed that you were paler than usual when she had picked you up. 

“Thank you, Gina,” you smiled gratefully at her, the warmth seeming to help with the pain almost instantly, and the medication from earlier having probably kicked in too, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. “Lie down with me?” you battled your eyelashes and gave her a little pout when she unwrapped the blanket from your shoulders, feeling cold immediately. She kissed your lips gently before laying down on the couch, pulling you down with her, being careful to leave enough space for you to place the water bag. She draped the blanket on you both this time, which almost made you want to tease her again for being wrapped in the blanket she seemed to hate so much. You immediately wrapped your arms around her after making sure the bag would hold itself in place between you two, nuzzling your face in her neck and placing a kiss that made her shiver. She felt your lips curl into a smile again her skin at her reaction, holding you tighter than before. 

“Thank you for everything. I love you, Gina” you mumbled, feeling exhausted from the pain that seemed to temporarily have given you a break. 

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’ll always take care of you,” her nails tracing your back made it hard to stay awake, feeling more than content wrapped safely in your girlfriend’s arms. “Close your pretty eyes, I’ll still be there when you wake up,” she whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head. And you did, knowing that no matter what happened, you’d always be safe with Regina by your side.