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A lot of people say that they need to find themselves. Me! I say find myself?? No! That's the way I was and that ruined who I was.

So no thanks I don't want to be that ignorant foolish guy ever again.

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Dear sir,

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came on your blog by chance. I have read few of your posts and I can relate to the part where you mention how depression makes you feel. I have been clinically diagnosed with depression too and I can understand how it makes you feel. Worst even when you are with company and family and worst even when you are alone. I have been taking medication and therapy too. Depression is in our roots and it is not as easy to remove it, so I try to look at it as a part of me which deserves love and care too, which means I try to think it as this easy that the depression doesn't want me to feel the way I do, but I still do and it is something which is not in my control. All I try to do is take it one day at a time, one step at a time and show myself some grace and hope at the end of doing tasks. I know you have your ways too to handle it, and I hope you can make them more healthy for you. One of the things which calms me is watching vlogs. Silent, calm, cozy vlogs. I will share few Youtubers too with you so you can give it a try and I really wish you do. Apart from that, loneliness can be healed if you have a furry friend too because they have the power of healing you, but for that we have to be really strong at our heart first because it is equal to taking care of a kid. You feed them, bath them, take them on walks, spend time with them, don't leave them alone for a long time, run with them, but treats for them, etc. and if you have had this experience before then you would know what I am talking about. :')

I really felt the need to write this down because I have been here what you are currently going through and I would say these feelings and loneliness could come at any time at any moment to me, so I know how it is like.

To share few Youtubers with you -

1) homeaway saskia

2) living with mandu

3) dal sol

4) cloudy hills

and if you like their content and vlogs, I hope you will get on and find some new content by yourself.

Practice breathing too please.

Please don't take anything in a rude or offensive sense. I have been through this. I have also been through losing all hopes and questioned my existence as well, I still do when depression comes crawling to me so I know how it is like. Wishing you strength and care. Please look after yourself and take care of yourself and you will find someone whom you can talk to or rely on in this process if you haven't. Keep fighting. You got this and I, a stranger, is proud of you. 💛

🌻❤️‍🩹

Wow! First let me say thank you. It has been hard for about 5 years now. I appreciate you saying what you said. It's actually nice to hear someone say something that I can understand. I have been on meds for about 4 years and yeah I had "a plan". You know the one they ask at the behavioral health hospitals. No I don't really have anyone at the moment that I can talk to. The ones before moved and visits are packed. (Guess there's a lot of us out there.) I have been trying to explain to others what a wave of depression does. I never EVER thought depression is like this. Please message again. I would like to meet you.

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I would love this. I want this.

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This! I understand and want so badly.

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“We shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. What we should really afraid of is repeating the same mistake.”

— antoniusrlim

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I hate depression!

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I want to genuinely know what it's like to be happy.

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Working on getting things done but can't find the focus.

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Of BS, lies and manipulation.

Moving on! 😆😆

If u don’t have good intentions w/ me, please just leave me alone. I’m tired.

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Oh My God how I love doing this. Drive out to Troy setup camp and a hammock 👌

Love this

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Looking back, I had no idea that my life would have ended up this way, so screwed up.

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Been taking my meds for depression and have been able to each day. However you never really get to get away from the reality of your depression. I hate it when depression rushes me. It makes me feel a little sick. My breathing shallows and my heart feels like it's slowes way down. Like slow motion

I hate depression..

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“One of these days you’re going to wake up and realize you’re beautiful and powerful … That will be the day you stop running after people who don’t see your worth. That will be a really good day.”

— Brooke Hampton

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OMG!! Doing this ASAP!

CHRISTMAS CHOCOLATE KAHLUA & BAILEY’S PUDDING SHOTS

Ingredients

1/2 cup of Red Velvet Bailey’s or you can use regular

1/4 cup of Kahlua (coffee liqueur)

1 small box JELLO Chocolate Instant Pudding Mix

3/4 cup Milk

8 oz container of Cool Whip

Christmas Sprinkles for garnish

How To Make CHRISTMAS CHOCOLATE KAHLUA & BAILEY’S PUDDING SHOTS

1-Whisk all ingredients together in a large bowl, except for the sprinkles. Add the cool whip a little at a time.

2-Fill shot cups with mixture. *I used a tablespoon for filling.

3-Store in refrigerator or freezer.

4-Christmas Vanilla Red Velvet Pudding Shots

#ChristmasPuddingShots

#HolidayDrinks

#ChocolatePudding

#KahluaBaileys

#HolidayCocktails

#DessertShots

#ChristmasParty

#PuddingShotRecipes

#BoozyDesserts

#ChristmasCheers

I might make this for Thanksgiving

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So I'm sitting here at a friend's house because I live out of my office and I have to sleep somewhere else at times. Trying to keep it on the DL😁.

OH and waiting to get my Jeep back up and running SOON. But I went to drop off my bicycle to get it tuned up so I save on gas. And I had to walk about a mile and a half one way thinking my bike was ready. Because dude said it would be ready Friday. It's freaking Sat!

I need my bike man! I need to be able to get around! Killing me!

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