#I could leave. but where would I go?
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My mind is torturing me today
#I’m fully alone. anyone who would be able to come to me is over an hour away#I am in a foreign country. I have no idea where I am#I have to do boring at best agonizing at worst schoolwork#the only things I can do are sit on a couch. sit at a desk. lie down. or eat#I could leave. but where would I go?#all of this puts me in a bad spot mentally#but there are always. noises#constantly. endlessly. always#something is making a noise#a machine I don’t know about hums. the floor creaks. an ambulance drives by#a device clicks. something pops.#earlier I heard shuffling and dropping above me. I am in the top floor#and my brain. which is already doing bad mentally from multiple days of pain and everything said above#has decided each noise is a threat#and that each threat needs to be through about and considered. in case it comes for me#which as you would imagine makes it hard to focus on solving a math problem
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Every time someone, whether in-universe or in meta tries to say that Jason's a "loner" I think about two things:
First of all, the fact that Bruce is frequently referred to as a loner, both in universe and out, as if he doesn't literally constantly have his emotional support child and a rotating cast of lovers (sometimes multiple in any given story at once). In this instance, it's used to try and make Bruce seem "cool," which whatever ig.
Batman #359, which, is so fucking funny to me because this is before Batgirl and Talia showed up in this story. Catwoman too. It was a real fucking ensemble. He's berating himself for snapping at Dick, and sending some civilians (The Todds btw) to die, against Dick's advice, because he's being bitchy about Catwoman. Like, my man, you have a mental breakdown every time you're truly alone. You're not a loner but maybe you should be.
Secondly, is Jason a loner or is he just always alone and isolated? Is he a loner or does he just not know how to be any other way? Jason consistently through both pre- and post-crisis express a lot of desire to be around other people/build connections, as well as referencing factors that isolate him from them. (I'm not sourcing every incident here but here's Jay trying to bond with Bruce right after he gets taken in, and some stuff wrt Jason at school)
Detective #527 (Pre-Crisis)
Batman#395 (Pre-Crisis. This is him being jealous of Catwoman, sure, but given how often in this arc it's referenced that he's isolated from the other kids in school- despite being on some kind of presumably sports team. I think it's baseball? I'm trying to find the exact issue that it actually SHOWS him on said team but it is referenced in the issues leading up to when they switch over the histories.)
Batman Annual #12 (This is Post-Crisis)
In Brothers in Blood Jason's trying to reach out to Dick. I'm not saying he did it the right way or that Dick was wrong for rejecting that, but he did literally expressly say that he was trying to reach out to him. in his brief period that he worked with the Titans, it's explicitly stated that he'd had to sneak out from under Batman's nose to join up with them. Jason has a sparse few interactions with mostly adult heroes in Pre-Crisis and the only hero his age he gets to meet is Kid Devil/Eddie Bloomberg and that's nebulously canon or not since Pre/Post-Crisis was a soft, slowly rolled out reboot where they changed a lot of things in retrospect but also implicitly kept others. (N52 was also like this but I get the impression Crisis was marginally more organized.)
UtH was Jason reaching out to Bruce for connection. Again, not really the right way to go about it but he pretty obviously/expressly wanted affirmation that his relationship with Bruce DID matter to someone other than himself because he felt it had been stripped from him and false.
Someone who keeps reaching out to other people, but gets rejected because they did it wrong, is not a loner.
When those attempts fail and he reaches out less and less, that's not loner behavior, that's lonely behavior, maybe even a dash of self-loathing. When he starts sabotaging his relationships further he thinks they're already fucked, that's not loner behavior, that's bad coping mechanisms for childhood trauma. I don't care that they state it exactly that he's some kind of "loner," his actions don't agree with that statement.
Is his status something of a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point? Yeah. I keep seeing people refer to him this way and, jesus. y'all wanna ostracize him so badly sometimes. You don't want him here you don't want him there. You use the "loner" rhetoric to enforce the idea that his isolation is a good thing that he wants. They use it IN UNIVERSE from the mouths of characters who have biased views about him.
If he's such a loner why does he keep going back? Why does he answer every call? Like a beaten, but unfortunately faithful dog that can't help but return to their abusive master.
#ax rants#Mashing Meta Bones With Axel#Jason Todd#Despite the fact that I DO study a lot about psychology and do generally view Jason through lenses that align with various disorders.#I'm reluctant to use the exact diagnoses in my own metas. Other people like Glitter-Stained & so on have written that so much better than I#And I've had such a stressful week so far I fear I would be utterly incomprehensible and say something that interprets wrong.#I could probably say more but I have to leave for work now oops#Got too invested#I keep having this issue where I'm worki9ng on one meta and then I go off on tangents about something else and making that a separate post#while I'm still not done with the first one lmao
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standing in front of a firing squad would have been easier than reading this script i need to be shot
#this is hands down the most insane script ive read i was sitting slack jawed half the time#not because its Outrageous but because. oh my fucking God#frank sure does have too much influence over *gestures broadly* This.#to see their dysfunction presented like this. is. so.#like. of course the reason they cant be nice to each other is because they all expect some kind of Trick. we see this again in s12#they've set a precedent where everyone is unable to be vulnerable out of fear that someone else is going to take advantage of them#its about knowing to Never let their guard down. because they can't afford to be stupid enough to think someone was being nice#its literally about them not trusting each other. they know each other. care about each other. but they're all still at war with each other#anything could be a trojan horse#and even when they try to do something thoughtful it's ruined bc their motives are being questioned and that provokes a defense#''of course i wasn't being Nice that's stupid why would i ever do that for you'' because otherwise theyre leaving themselves open to attack#i think this episode works purely because theyre All trying to change this at once and since theyre all aware of that fact#its like oh okay youre not fucking with me because we've established we're all trying not to be cynical#i cannot even begin to dig into the pure autism of this entire. not even just the episode premise. the whole basis of the gang's dynamic.#like yeah of course a group of weird neurodivergent people is hypersensitive to this#its the same thing as mac and dennis in suburbs questioning wally's intentions/demeanor welcoming them to the neighbourhood#literally in defense mode all the time because they expect the worst from people and they haven't had any reason to think otherwise#marder and rosell get it but thats not exactly new and surprising <3#but wow this script adds so much. at least for me.#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#ada speaks#character meta#for good measure
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thinking about how Lumon asks prospective employees about their "motivation for severing", as Milchick puts it. thinking about how that motivation more often than not would be running from something (as with mark) or because it's the best option available (it's implied Dylan took the Lumon job for its health benefits). thinking about how severed people are actively discriminated against when trying to find work beyond Lumon. thinking about how severance robs outies of the opportunity to form connections with fellow employees outside of work and stunts their social lives by removing their ability to discuss a major element of life. thinking about how Lumon preys on desperate people, offering a solution that actively destroys the ability to find any other.
#like. the discrimination against severed people works to lumon's advantage to a certain degree#dylan's interview showed us that typical employers aren't exactly keen on hiring severed individuals#so imagine if someone did choose to leave Lumon of their own volition. where could they go?#who else would accept them?#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2#probably could have made this more coherent but I just needed to get it out frankly
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So, uh, to recap on the ladies of Andor, the pinnacle of progressive writing according to internet consensus:
Bix: After her character consisting only of "good at mechanics", formerly crafty (in the first Ferrix arc) and "traumatised", Bix gains a new character trait this arc - helpless rage and ✨✨✨drug addiction✨✨✨! Goodie. I'm so mad at this arc for her. We never see this woman happy independent of her trauma. We see her make happy for men - the shopkeep, Cassian occasionally, Brasso and co. in the first arc - but the only time we get an unobserved smile is when she gets her big Girlboss Yay Feminism revenge. And the featurette has everyone going "oh this is her moment", "this scene is about her" - IT'S NOT!! It's about Gorst! It's more trauma porn! Her happiness and functionality once again are dependent on men! She couldn't save herself from her trauma - she needed Cassian to help her get the drop on Gorst (and let's ignore how fucking improbable all that is for a moment, how does he even know where Gorst is???), and her happiness is fully dependent on Gorst living or dying. Her character does not EXIST without him this season. Why do we only ever see her take charge of her life to kill her abusers? The only other positive thing she's done for her life this whole season is to clean up the apartment, and she was doing that to *checks notes* hide her drug habit from her overprotective boyfriend. Feminism!! Please don't read this as an indictment of people struggling to cope with trauma, or substance abuse - I'm just so tired of everyone acting like this is such an uplifting, empowering narrative for this character, because I really, really, really don't see it.
Bringing up Maarva and Kerri as people Cassian failed to protect and nothing else is so telling. That's not even what happened! He was abducted as a child, he didn't abandon his sister, and what was he going to save Maarva from? Old age?? But that's their whole narrative purpose to the writers I guess...
Mothma: Well, I know the constant political downward trajectory is her whole thing, but we really spend the whole arc seeing her do nothing but failing to convince other politicians (mostly men) of anything and being made to look like a fool for even bothering. So far all we've given her this season is being too soft and emotional (which, by the way, is why it's a little odd to me they're pinning the same thing on Cassian - why do we need this narrative redundancy here?). And her one "big moment" (read: over thirty seconds of uninterrupted talking) she gets to have this arc is either a front for Kleya's and Luthen's business or a pointless and reckless lashing out at Krennic's overt imperialism and propaganda.
Dedra: Yeah, she's holding all the strings, but in a weird way, her whole narrative is dependent on Syril now, and I have a bad feeling this is all leading up to him being butthurt about being used. It's a great spy storyline, but just like Mothma's part, great as it is, in combo with the deeply uncool treatment of Bix, it starts to feel like an unfortunate pattern.
Cinta: I actually liked her scenes a lot! Especially the scene in the café - it had an interesting ambiguity, for a moment there I was wondering if Cinta was running Vel, getting back with her to keep her on track on someone's orders. I think I may be giving the script too much credit here, given how weirdly stilted the other two romances were handled this arc it might have rather been a case of "the writer really thinks lovers talk that way". But even if it was an accident, I think that would be an interesting feature in the show, because they're the one couple who genuinely seem to be compatible and on the same page about what they want! And I get that they were making a point to get her killed so uselessly, by friendly fire, on accident. But man, this show refuses to give a woman happiness, even for the span of a timeskip. Whenever any of the ladies seems happy or get something she wants for herself, you can already be sure she's about to die or have something incredibly heinous happen to her immediately after. And the execution of that scene pissed me off, because if that scuffle had even just been relocated to the tunnel entrance, I would have bought it. But no, they're in a really wide, mostly empty alleyway, the blaster was mostly pointed at a wall and trapped between the two men wrestling for it, and you don't even see anyone being close behind them, and yet Cinta not only manages to get hit but instantly killed - what are the fucking chances? And yes, it's a metaphor, but again, with the overall bad aftertaste, it feels targeted and cruel at this point. With how little we got to see of Cinta, it really made her death seem like an afterthought. Like Brasso, this could have packed a punch, but we knew so little about her and had seen her even less, so it just fell flat.
My only positives(ish):
Vel: Her character is really growing on me! She has such a nice, well-executed, subtle development compared to most other characters on this show. She's clearly learned from Aldhani, and she's learning from Mothma and Luthen, too, and her resentment at the life she's leading is so beautifully expressed by her last scene: The greatest punishment she can imagine is recruitment to her cause. Because that's what she's doing to this guy. Recruitment. This is on you forever, this is all your life is now, you owe me and everyone whatever you have to make up for this. That's so heartbreaking, and so real. Am I pissed that Vel is constantly and pointedly denied happiness at absolutely every turn? Yeah! But at least for her, it feels like there is a little more agency, because she chose this life, even though she clearly has options. For her, it feels a little more tragic and narratively weighty, and less like a pointless onslaught of misery.
Kleya: I love her so much. And I could (and should) point out that it feels a little shallow to have her be completely reduced to "being the only competent person among men who are losing their shit at all times". We know nothing else about her, other than that she is Girlboss(TM). But, unlike with Bix, we actually see her be outstandingly competent completely on her own merit all the time, and even though the script neglects her, too, there is an implication that she has actively and deliberately sacrificed the rest of herself to be this spymaster - instead of the writers simply forgetting to give her anything more. And I just think Elizabeth Dulau is KILLING IT. In a weird way, Kleya is giving me the power fantasy that most Star Wars gave to little boys. It's not exactly a win for feminism - it's yet another flavour of "women can either be competent and powerful OR express their emotions and be vulnerable with people" - but I do have a soft spot for her, and her moment at the exhibition was the tensest shit I've seen this whole season. Nothing more gripping so far than watching this woman attempt to turn a screw.
#andor spoilers#okay this fully turned into a rant so i guess i will tag this#andor critical#i'm enjoying most of the show a lot but MAN that bix storyline is making me so angry#and not for nothing but her and cassian's relationship is being handled terribly#and I'm not saying that because i am a rebelcaptain girlie#it would have been fine if he had a girlfriend he loved and lost!!! that would have been great he's an adult he gets to have a past!!#but it's so weird. it feels so perfunctory and sterile and EMPTY and i just don't understand how they dropped the ball this hard#also they squandered the perfect narrative resolution of the two of them that would have given BOTH of them some actual development#AND explained why Bix isn't around anymore (without fridging her! for once!!)#just have Cassian find out where Gorst is. And then make him decide to let him live and keep going because he's more useful that way#and make them break up over it!! Because Bix (understandably) can't understand how he could allow this man to continue#and get this: she could have planned her revenge. without his help. and have it actually have narrative weight!!#stop trying to reduce Cassian's self-loathing in R1 to 'guy has killed people' THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT#because it's so heinous but there's a way to make it still the right choice. but also an irreconcilable difference between them#it's so obvious and so neat!!!! why are you leaving that on the table#writing#meta#whyyyy#bix caleen#cinta kaz#mon mothma#vel sartha#kleya marki#dedra meero#tony gilroy#andor
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★ 100 // “The Holy Bible”
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#steel ball run#sbr#gyjo#johnny joestar#gyro zeppeli#tools used:#bible...#acrylic paint#posca paint pen#WE'VE FINALLY HIT THE TRIPLE DIGITS!!!!#Originally I was going to draw just Johnny. But no. These two walked together and couldn't have done it alone without the other.#I will leave you with some shrinekeeper lore: Miracle is my favorite word and has been for as long as I can remember.#I couldn't exactly tell you why. Maybe it's because the concept of them is fascinating. Maybe it just sounds pretty to say.#Whatever the reason: it drew me to reading a book that would change my life at a time where I felt at my lowest.#And that book is... not this one LOL. I wouldn't say I'm Christian.#It was another book that had Jesus in it though. Actually you could say he wrote it.#A Course In Miracles... when I saw that title I thought “hey. that's my favorite word.” So I read it. It changed my worldview.#The book asks you to follow lessons every day for 365 days. And somehow... I did it.#And throughout that time and even to this day you could say I've gone on my own spiritual journey with JC. I luv Jesus.#So when I learned that Johnny's narrative was essentially about finding God it deeply reminded me of my own journey.#This shrine feels like ACIM 2.0... I think that's ultimately the reason it's called a shrine and that every offering is a prayer.#Thank you for following me along this journey thus far. I hope I can make many more miracles happen!
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let’s talk about the fact that boe got to canan first. they took the non lyctors and gideons body. they left cytherea. they left harrow and ianthe even tho they’d both have been out of commision. let’s talk about how corona left ianthe.
#im right btw#i can and will pull sources when i have the time#corona leaving ianthe fucks with a lot of their dynamic#at first you think oh ianthe left corona for something bigger and better#but no#corona left her#ianthe started combing planets for corona as soon as she could#ianthe wants corona by her side but corona doesn’t#not like she used too#corona left ianthe#ianthe was left behind#ianthes the one to cry herself to sleep every night#also like how the fuck was boe there first#it makes no sense where the fuck were they hiding#the kiper belt maybe???#like they obviously knew what was going on cus of cytherea#did they know the rbs would have followed her corpse#i doubt they went to canan expecting gideon so why take her body#like yes she looks like wake but like would they have noticed that#wakes been dead for 2 decades#gideons in the middle of a zombie fight covered in blood and grease paint#did cytherea update them#why’d they take her body they couldn’t have known at first#did they know she was johns#tlt#commandersposts#tlt meta#tridentarii#boe#blood of eden
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of where [ ] [ ] used to be
#Library of Ruina#Roland Library of Ruina#... would this count as spoilers. it is rather vauge. uhm. just in case?#library of ruina spoilers#i couldnt find adequate words to fully capture the ache and sheer void loss leaves behind. of what isnt There. thats short at least#so... i left i blank? because the mind would fill it. fill it with Multiple things than just one word i could place. for it is Multiple#aspects. stripped away.#of where my light used to be. my love. my heart. my 'self'. my Life. my dreams. my hopes. my dear. my everything#her warmth. her touch. her laugh. her strength. her face#void of where ones heart used to be. whos heart is cold as ice (haha snow queen). tomorrows seen as gone the moment that light was stripped#away from the heart. the Home. the room that used to be a home. the room that was going to be a home. scattered with small yellows in the#corner that only serve to spiral further into memories and moments of the past cruely and coldly torn awah#ahh glad i put the spoiler tag? yappin. anyways ive only completed realizations for middle but. uhm. erm...#iireally realt wanted to draw. for it#roland lor#i think thats the other tag. just in case for more navigation#i fet distinctly Empty when it happened. when reading. when seeing. when Hearing. i wanted to make something that sorta had that#also his mask looked like a void. left an impression on me
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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Crafting forecast has changed! Some local organizations are looking for, well, a lot of things for disaster relief, but the one I can help with is the request for baby blankets so I am switching into baby blanket mode for I don't know how long
#the person behind the yarn#at least a week probably#depends on what fabric I have on hand and when I can get to the store#I might try to use what I have on hand and hope joanns does another sale this weekend?#because I just missed their last sale on flannel#but I can make patchwork flannel blankets#and regular quilts#Basic Baby Quilt Time#I am rarely so aware of my physical limitations as at times like this#where I really want to help. and I might be able to! but if I am wrong about how much I can help#someone will have to leave the location where we are working to take me home#and if I am honest it's not a question of IF I will have to leave early but WHEN#so I am more helpful by not going because other people won't have to leave early#if my stupid circulatory system would just cooperate I could help! I used to!#I have the muscle mass to move things it's just not reliable because of my everything else
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.
So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).
Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.
Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021
Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.
Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)
Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.
It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.
#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpdc#plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them#and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon#the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too#where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom#and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities#do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock!#gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or--#the other big cities will make fun of them :(#my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other#there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao#this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh#this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected#from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city#so i had to come up with something else#hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main#popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with#heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again#the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week
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I understand why it wasn't possible, but it's such a shame we couldn't get Jenny back for The Wish. She and Giles fighting a losing battle side by side and being hardened from it, but remaining each other's solace. Them piecing together the puzzle Cordelia presents to them and having faith in a world better than this, only for Anyanka to try and throw them by hinting at Jenny's death should they return. Giles faltering at the thought of losing her and Jenny, once again, sacrificing herself and destroying the necklace. The way she sees it: she'll either be dead by The Master's hand or by her own, and only one of those inevitabilities gives the man she loves a chance of survival. She kisses him as she plunges herself into the abyss, wanting the last thing she experiences to be his love.
Giles waking up the following morning, the pang in his heart he always feels whenever he remembers Jenny accompanied by a newfound feeling of emptiness, and he's not quite sure why.
#buffy the vampire slayer#calendiles#jenny calendar#is doomed by the narrative i fear: and the writers will never be forgiven for that#rupert giles#he chooses her this time around#he can't go through with losing her even if it will save the world#he endured because he had jenny how on earth can he lose her now? and it certainly won't be by his hand#but jenny also chooses him - she refuses to allow him to remain in a world where meeting their maker in the Master feels inevitable#and she knows he knows she's doing the right thing and she can only hope he finds a new happiness in the world from which he came#which he never does - but he constantly dwells on the happiness he could have had with her.#they could have ran the magic box together. it would have been perfect for the both of them.#he likes to think she'd enjoy england but knows she'd last about three days before wanting to leave (and that's a generous assessment.)#and when the kids are leading their grown up lives away from him he longs for jenny to be curled up in his arms#he'll never know he briefly had her back#but the life he wanted them to live wasn't possible in the world in which they made it#something to potentially write one day#if anyone does know any fics with this concept though please let me know!#meg.txt
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i think mostly we as a culture need to stop pretending media is for us and instead recognize that it's for the people making it. "the show didn't do the thing I wanted it to" is so not the point. did it do what the people making it wanted it to do? did it tell the story they were trying to tell? than it was successful. if that doesn't align with what you wanted to happen, don't get up in arms about it. don't badmouth the creators and throw a tantrum. that's what fan works are for. the text is the text, and it told the story it was telling. you wouldn't be like "ugh shakespeare is insane for act v btw like there was no reason for juliet to kill herself she should've just waited and then her and romeo could have been together wtf this ruined the whole play" like no!!! the themes were there the set-up was there the foreshadowing was there shakespeare did what he intended to. just because it wasn't a happy ending and just because you thought it should've went differently doesn't mean it was bad. read a fic where juliet lives and move on.
#this is about ghosts but honestly fandom in general#stop pretending the creators of things owe you certain story lines. they're making it not you#i explained it like this to my sister:#imagine you're reading a book and there are sort of hints and scenes that you take to interpret a character as gay#you cite quotes and talk about the themes and the impact of your interpretation#and then at the end of the book the character comes out as asexual.#and then a lot of those scenes and quotes that you were using as evidence for your interpretation-#now they could be construed to have been pointing towards them being ace all along#just because it wasnt the end you fabricated in your head based on your understanding of the hints#doesn't mean it wasnt always the writers plan from the beginning.#AND it doesnt mean you can't keep imagining a world where they're gay instead#it just means that the writer was leaving those clues to point you towards the ending#and you interpreted the clues differently#bbc ghosts#ghosts spoilers#bc like. if last resort was the ending#you could 'read' the whole series with the understanding that they weren't going to leave the house#and the foreshadowing would add up#but now with the special. you can go back and 'read' the series with the understanding that they leave#and it still all adds up. the foreshadowing was there it just meant something different than you thought.#stories have beginnings middles and ends#you predetermined the ending while still in the middle and got mad when you weren't right.#does that make sense?
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i could go on and on on the importance of shunkun and yuu being narrative foils of each other and how devastating it makes things
but nah, don't be silly, why would I express this sentiment on a serious drawing when i can draw fluff!!!😊😊 (copium)
progress dump... from vision to the end!!!
Vision->Spirit drawing->Sketch->Details on top of Sketch->Lineart->Color!!!!
"what is a spirit drawing michael" spirit. i inject spirit of my vision into the canvas and hope it makes sense later somehow💜 my process is mysterious in its ways.... not even i know what is going on(゜∀。)

anyway heres an image of the many. many glitches and difficulties i have to face now that my computer finally sniped clip studio😭 but i never give up I dont let the computer stop me
#re:kinder#rekinder#my art#yuuichi mizuoka#shunsuke takano#parun#fanart#this one is thanks to a certain post i saw a few days ago in tumblr. i just had to draw it as them#which was made by @hairscare !!! so shoutout to them for awakening this drawinf#i saw it and i inmediately knew what i had to do#BECAUSE GENUINELY i will never get over the sheer tragedy that these two are similar in many ways#yet the circumstances has made it so while one could fight and keep going with life the other gave up entirely and died??? hello???😭😭#ITS DEVASTATING BECAUSE OF WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT#BUT THEY WERENT FROM THE START OF THE GAME THERE WAS NO GOING BACK#i constantly think about the fact that shunkun was having dreams of yuu essentially crying for help FOR A GOOD BIT#like look . game starts out he acknowledges this and its. like. who even is that boy that dream again#WHICH WOULD ALREADY PLACE IT SO IT **AT LEAST** HAS HAPPENED TWICE. SO FOR TWO DAYS AT MINIMUM#BUT THEN YOU PLACE THE TIME WHERE SHUNKUN WAS AWAY FROM HOME#WHICH IS DAYS. PLURAL DAYS#AND THE MASSACRE COULD ONLY HAVE POSSIBLY STARTED THE MORNING OF THE DAY HE COMES BACK#because the other kids that survived woke up that same day and were extremely confused so that didnt happen the moment shunkun left#it pretty much happened shortly before arriving and thus the same day he left#which . by the way nothing to do i think it was intentionally premeditated so all the participants of the friends game could be there#BUT THE POINT IS. MULTIPLE DAYS IT HAD BEEN MULTIPLE DAYS SINCE THOSE DREAMS STARTED#so the mere idea that there was a slim point where things could have possibly been different if if that call for help would have possibly#jesus cheisr they mess me up#THE SLIM PERIOD OF TIME IS ITS AWFUL its .#AND THERES MORE OF THIS THERES MORE OF THIS IN ME REGARDING THE TRAGEDY OF THESE TWO BEING FOILS#BUT THIS IS A POST OF A FLUFF DRAWING SO LETS LEAVE IT THERE SHALL WE😁😁😁#they make me sick. i will die /lighthearted
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I felt so seen when I first read pjo and it mentioned Annabeth’s arachnophobia. I used to have so many nightmares when I was younger (probably started when I was around five or six), I would wake up in the middle of the night and be so terrified of moving because I thought there were spiders all over my bed. The shadows on my popcorn ceiling looked like spider figures and I remember just laying there sweating and not making a sound because I thought it would attract the spiders I guess? It was routine for me to shout for my mom—poor her, she would be woken at 2 in the morning like thrice a week— and she’d always shake my sheets and lay with me until I feel asleep. She would also take me to sleep with her and my dad in their massive bed (who was I to say no to the invitation?) and it got to the point where I was embarrassed that I couldn’t sleep a whole night without someone. Occasionally, I still have these nightmares about spiders and I just turn on a light, go to the bathroom, come back, and pretend it never happened.
Idk, just thinking about that. I kind of had forgotten about those nightmares but I don’t play when I see spiders because I know it means I’m going to dream about them.
#just a snippet of my life#tw mentions of spiders#arachnophobia#unfortunately got it from my dad he’ll freak out if he sees one#when I say I’m scared of spiders it’s not bc they bite or bc they’re bugs#it’s bc they’re the culprit of me being scared of going to sleep since I was 5#I deadass have to cover the screen whenever a spider comes up on a show or article#those tv sitcoms that always had that one episode with a spider crawling over someone’s back actualky leave me paranoid to this day#I always get startled when I see my hair and think it’s a spider for a second#‘the price of being small’ sorry but I’m not that kind of girl#anwyays#annabeth chase core#annabeth chase#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#I also got panick attacks as a kid#bc for a short period of time I was convinced that if I was around glitter or flour or sand I would inhale it and die#I was in first grade#I swear I was born with anxiety#nightmares#tw spiders#childhood#I legit could not do sleepovers for this reason#I don’t play about where I sleep in because I actually get scared if the sheets have a certain texture#annabeth and arachne#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#hoo#randomly sharing#random post
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