#because the other kids that survived woke up that same day and were extremely confused so that didnt happen the moment shunkun left

[thedrotter]

i could go on and on on the importance of shunkun and yuu being narrative foils of each other and how devastating it makes things

but nah, don't be silly, why would I express this sentiment on a serious drawing when i can draw fluff!!!😊😊 (copium)

progress dump... from vision to the end!!!

Vision->Spirit drawing->Sketch->Details on top of Sketch->Lineart->Color!!!!

"what is a spirit drawing michael" spirit. i inject spirit of my vision into the canvas and hope it makes sense later somehow💜 my process is mysterious in its ways.... not even i know what is going on(゜∀。)

anyway heres an image of the many. many glitches and difficulties i have to face now that my computer finally sniped clip studio😭 but i never give up I dont let the computer stop me

[somewhat-adorkable]

My goddaughter was born on April 6th, 2021.

The world felt real again in May of 2023.

This is going to be an extremely long post and contains a lot of potentially triggering content so proceed with caution.

Her mom, K, is my best friend. She had lived with me for almost seven years, and I was the first person she told she was pregnant.

It was mid November, I was up at 5am getting ready for work. She worked a night shift so normally we only saw each other on our days off, when I dropped her off at work, and when she woke me up to tell me she was home. She hadn't woken me up the night before.

I was confused when she walked in, normally she slept till noon. She held something out to me and I blinked a moment, processed that what I was looking at was a positive pregnancy test.

What I said was "K, I told you so, you dumb slut."

Because I had. I told her that her boyfriend was just out to knock her up and I had told her two weeks prior that she was pregnant. I could feel it.

The next thing I said was, "it's a girl, you know. Are we happy or.....?"

We decided we were.

The next few months passed rapidly and a lot happened. It was a blur of us going to doctors appointments, lots of staring at a blob on a screen that we called Baby Bean.

She was six months pregnant when she moved in with her sister. She wanted to, since her sister had already raised three kids. Around the same time, it was decided my then partner would move in with me.

Less than a week after K moved, I was at her house before work and I said "I want you to make a doctor's appointment for today."

"Why?" She laughed, "I feel fine."

"K," I warned, "please call? Now? Something is wrong. I can feel it."

She humored me and called, got an appointment for later that morning. I asked her if I needed to take off work to go with her, she said no, she would call a cab. I was training for a new job and she didn't want me to miss anything.

I asked her to call me after her appointment, she said she would.

I left for work.

Two hours later, at 9am, I got a phone call and she was sobbing.

"K, come on," I said, "breathe, I need to understand you if you want me to help."

She explained that her blood pressure was in the 200s, that the doctor was terrified she would have a stroke, that they were taking her to a hospital three hours away by ambulance.

"I'll tell Jeff to bring me home now," I said, signaling for the man that was training me, "I'll be there when you get there."

But we agreed that instead I would call her mom. It was mid covid and she could only have one person there. I called her mom for her and explained.

A few hours later, K called again, she only had 30 minutes to make a decision:

1. She could try to hold out and there was a 100% chance her and the baby would die because of her blood pressure not coming down regardless of treatment.

2. She could have an emergency C-section at 26 weeks pregnant. There was an 80% chance she would live, but a less than 10% chance Baby Bean would live.

My body went completely numb.

She signed everything over to me. Her will said I would take care of everything, that if she passed I would make all the decisions regarding Baby Bean. I told her okay.

She asked if I understood if Baby Bean died, she would die too.

I said I knew that all along.

She chose to have the C-section.

April 6, 2021 at 4:14pm, my goddaughter was born.

She weighed right at 14oz, she was 10in long.

I video chatted with K when she woke up, she cried, I told her everything would be okay. That Baby Bean was strong and so was she.

I didn't believe a word I was saying. I was terrified. I accepted the reality I would lose my best friend and the baby I loved from the moment I knew she existed.

We video chatted every day, for hours at a time, often saying nothing and just existing together.

They told her Baby Bean would likely not survive the week, that if she did then she would be blind, deaf, and likely mute. If her brain even developed beyond where it was at. K couldn't hold her, couldn't touch her, they didn't have tubes small enough to even feed her properly and were using q-tips.

In my daily life, I kept moving. I tried for my new job, I prepared for my partner to move in, but dread ate at me constantly. Feeling as if every moment was just the edge of a great plunge into darkness.

Baby Bean survived the week.

On April 19th, I had my first official day at work. And my then partner moved in.

I mostly felt like a blur.

Admittedly I avoided her room (long story short, pulled a gun from a previous roommates mouth in that room just a couple months before hand, and opening the door gave me a deep sense of anxiety), but mostly it was because when I was home I needed to know that K and Bean were okay.

The reality is I was overwhelmed, terrified, no sleeping or eating properly, then I added an extra layer of autistic burnout to the situation by adding extra people to my house.

On April 21st, my mom walked in my room and told me my cousin Destiny and her boyfriend were murdered, and a part of my world fell apart completely.

A couple days later, my grandmother died.

My grandmother's side of the family disowned me with her gone. I lost a massive part of my extended family.

A couple days after that, my brother committed a major crime and went on the run.

I told none of this to K.

She had enough going on, she didn't need my shit too.

In May, Baby Bean developed a massive brain bleed.

In May, Baby Bean got a major infection at one of her IV sites.

In May, Baby Bean got a blood infection.

I was.... not okay. Not okay in a way I will ever be able to verbalize. I was self-harming again, everything made me feel sick, but I did my best to put on an act.

My best friend was going through something horrific and unimaginable and I couldn't be there. I couldn't help. I could do nothing but sit with her on video chat and look at this tiny thing in an incubator and beg it to please become a baby.

My own problems were stomped down in exchange for everyone else, I did my best over and over but in my daily life I was told it wasn't enough.

Mid May, my partner joined a couple dating apps because I... well, wasn't doing enough of the right things, to be blunt. We were poly, so I told myself it was okay, because it has to be. That I was selfish to make it about me. I only vaguely mentioned it to K, but I smiled and told her it was okay, that I was fine.

In June, I was able to visit K for the second time, the first time being in mid May, and the visit went well. I brought my then partner with me, to what felt like a sacred meeting. We weren't allowed in the hospital, of course, but we went out to eat.

Middle of June my birthday rolled around. Things... well... didn't go great. My family tried but the shadow of something else, not the situation with K, drug me down. On the phone with K that night, I softly told her what happened and how bad it hurt me.

She cried almost hysterically, raised her voice, she had spent the past 10 years making my birthday special and was angry and upset that someone else would make me feel unimportant.

"you are the most lovable person I know," her text said, "no one you love should make you question your worth, even for a second. I could not have asked for a better friend, you may be a tad bent but the best people are."

The day after my birthday, my brother was sentenced to prison.

End of June, my partner and I broke things off.

End of June, my godmother passed away from a surgical complication.

I spent so much time feeling like I was in limbo, never feeling fully connected to anything around me.

Everything felt distant, I felt broken and lost in a profound way.

My entire life was viewed from the outside for months.

I developed intense panic attacks, vivid nightmares where I would claw my skin raw and clench my jaw so hard my gums would bleed.

In November 2021, my goddaughter came home.

She weighed just above five pounds. She had an NG tube, a heart monitor, had special formula and a multitude of special doctors to see every other week.

The first time I held he I cried. For the first time in eight months, she felt real. Tangible. A living, breathing thing.

And time kept moving.

I kept moving.

May of 2023, I was house-sitting and something... popped. Something in my head.

Suddenly my world was bright, vivid, everything was in first person point of view again.

I panicked. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had. I cried, screamed, vomited, shook violently and almost passed out at several points.

For the next couple weeks, I would have those panic attacks every couple days.

I almost had a full mental breakdown.

We upped my medication and added a new one.

It's January 2024, and to this day I worry about Bean constantly. Showers give me panic attacks. Windchimes make my heart race because that was the first thing I heard when my brain finally decided it was done with its constant state of depersonalization.

I'm still learning to cope with everything that happened, and sometimes it feels neverending.

My goddaughter was born on April 6th, 2021.

The world felt real again in May of 2023.

[aarons-main-blog]

I changed my mind, and decided to que this up immediately after posting the first one. I won't be home when you see this because I'm attending a funeral, but tell me what you think of it and I will see you when I get home!

Note: this was made on Google docs mobile, so when I get a chance I will actually use tab instead of just paragraphs.

"Wars, you said you knew the area!"

"I thought I did, but this is sure as hell not the same way I remember! Those ruins we passed back there? Those are completely new to me! This forest? I don't even recognize half of these plants! We should have reached a town hours ago!"

"Hey, stop fighting, you two, or-"

The group Link had been following for the last few hours came to a halt as the one with pink-tipped hair argued with the one with a blue scarf. He couldn't tell if they were a threat yet, they just seemed like lost travelers. Then again, that was the main way the Yiga clan tried to trick him. 

Pinky and Wars kept arguing, until finally the smallest one in rainbow colors seemed to snap. "How about we admit it. We are lost, and just happened to find something that reminded Wars of home. It was NOONE's fault, because we ignored the obvious signs something was wrong. Now, we are lost in the middle of a forest, and unless you have an idea of what we should do, then SHUT UP!"

The group all seemed shocked by his outburst, Link and the rainbow included, and once they all seemed to get over it, the kid apologized. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

The oldest one, probably the leader, said, "No, it's ok. Today has been a long day, and everyone seems on edge. Perhaps we should set up camp early, does that sound good to everyone?"

The group nodded collectively, and started to set up in the clearing that could barely fit all of them. The one in a green tunic and no pants volunteered for the night's first watch, and while it wouldn't be for a while, they seemed relaxed a bit more by the fact someone was willing to do it. 

Link, who had been hiding a good distance away from them, stood up. He got a stealth potion that would last him a few hours at least ready, then decided he would investigate that night.

As the sun set, an awful smell enveloped the forest. "Legend, what did you do?!"

"I don't know! It was fine a minute ago!"

"It's smoking! How did you burn SOUP of all things?!"

"I didn't burn it, it just got too hot!"

"Because you ****ed up, Legend! That's literally how things burn up!"

"Wind, watch your mouth."

Link had just come back from following the path the group of strangers had taken, looking to see if they dropped anything interesting, when he heard the commotion. It smelled like burning hair or that one shrine he had found with the awful cook. Maybe they were cousins? 

As Link got closer to get a better look, he saw four people standing around a large cooking pot with a brown/green liquid with chunks in it. Pathetic. Are all of them as bad cooks as that one? Link was amazed they had survived however long they had been traveling. 

Pinkey poked the 'soup' with a wooden ladle. "It's still edible, look, the vegetables seem cooked enough."

 "With all due respect, I don't know if I would want to eat that," the kid in a blue shirt said with a grimace. "I don't know if anyone else would either."

The old one took the ladle and used it to try a small sip of what they were calling a soup, and his face scrunched up immediately. 

"Uh, Time?" The blue kid tapped the man's shoulder. 

The man swallowed the drink, coughed, then said, "It is… certainly better than last time."

A few of the others gave their opinions, from encouraging to neutral, before deciding it was better than nothing. 

None of them looked that happy about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what theoretically could have been called dinner, the one in the green tunic, which Link had identified as being named "Hyrule," started circling around the camp, gradually making them larger and larger before returning close and starting again. Near the middle of the third round, Link drank his stealth potion and snuck into the campsite. 

There was a young adult in tan with a tall belt, there was a boy in blue(wind), there was a kid in rainbow, there was a young adult with a wolf pelt on his shoulders, still on in his sleep for some reason, there was one in red with pink hair tips(legend), and then there was the leader. Link got a good look at him. He had a fancy set of armour, a big sword, a bad eye, but the strangest thing was he had familiar markings covering his face. They were almost the same… 

As the ones Link saw in nearly every mirror, looking right back at himself. 

"Time?"

Link turned towards the voice to see the one called Hyrule looking at him. He had to play this right. "Yes?"

"Oh, thank the goddess. What are you up to?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I was going to see if you wanted off early." This was dangerous. If he realized the real Time was sleeping soundly next to him, he would wake up all the others, and then he'd have eight grumpy travelers armed to the teeth on his trail in seconds. 

"You sure that's ok with you?"

"Yes, get some rest."

"Thanks, Time," the boy said with a smile. "I will."

Link somewhat directed Hyrule towards the opposite side of where Time was. He was extremely lucky the fire was ruining the boy's night vision. 

"Time?"

Link stopped and turned his head a bit. "Yeah?"

There was a pause. "Thank you for being here for us."

Link smiled. "You don't have to mention it," mimicking the somewhat fancy way he had heard Time use words. "Goodnight."

Hyrule mumbled it back, seemingly exhausted from the travel. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Hyrule woke up feeling well rested. The birds were singing a song only they knew, the trees provided shade from the early morning sun, the wind rustled leaves and bushes softly, and a nice smell emanated from the cooking pot. 

Wait, did someone cook something edible? Hyrule shot up, feeling excited to see what had made someone unlock their inner cook. 

"Hey, mornin, Hyrule!" 

"Goodmorning, Wind! What's cooking?"

Wind was grinning like an idiot. "No idea, but none of us made it, that's for sure! Four woke up and saw it cooking, then woke up the rest of us, except for you and sky. Time says you didn't wake him up for his shift, so we thought you could use some re-"

Hyrule was confused. "Wait, what? Run that by me one more time." 

Wind's grin fell just a little bit, before coming back up. "Four woke up first, saw something was cooking, and woke everyone but you and sky because we thought you must have kept watch the whole night. Is that not what happened?"

"Yeah, Time said he couldn't sleep last night, so he took over the watch early for me."

Time, who had been listening in, said "I think I would know my sleep schedule better than you would. You didn't wake me up last night, and I didn't wake myself up, that's for certain."

"Then who-"

Four hit the pot a few times. "Breakfast is ready, guys!"

The questions could wait. Nobody had had a good meal for at least a week or two, so they were excited to try the mysterious meal.

It. Was. Delicious!

After discussion, it was determined to be a mushroom, meat and rice based meal. The meat used was probably venison, and a high quality type at that. It was served with some mushrooms nobody recognized but everybody loved, and a strange rice they couldn't find an exact comparison of.

Idle conversation was of generally positive things and how beautiful the world was. All of their problems seemed far away, and the day promised to be a great one. As the last of the food was eaten up, and the bowl was starting to be wiped as clean as it would get, Twilight brought up the question on everyone's mind. 

"I wonder who made this for us."

"Maybe it was a ghost!" Wind exclaimed.

"Maybe it was a passing traveler?" Four said at the same time.

Legend laughed. "It was not a ghost, you idiot!"

"You don't know that," Wind huffed. "I met a ghost once, she was nice!"

"You did NOT meet a ghost!"

"Yeah I did!"

"Cut it out you two," Time said with his signature 'stop' look. "Whoever did it, they must have been a nice person. Don't argue about things this good, ok?"

"Ok!" Wind said. Legend just scoffed. 

Nobody noticed the person sitting on top of a tree, fiddling a strange ocarina.

I hope this was ok! I will be the first to admit my writing style isn't the best, but I think this is one of my better works at the moment. Comments and criticism is appreciated, and I may edit this if I find stupid things I want to change/fix. I should be home Friday, probably Thursday afternoon. Anyway, see you next time!

[hiddendreamer67]

Giant Mers are Good Mers

That's right, it's MerMay baby! Introducing my new bois. Caspian is a giant siren with influences of Mediterranean monk seals and leopard seals. Beckett is a lil' human who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. This piece is a completed oneshot, but I've got a couple ideas for more oneshots with this pairing, including a few ideas for alternate universes (especially after seeing all the fun @ibis-gt seems to be having with AUs of their bois).

Word count: 6,001

Initial prompt idea: human was taken by a giant siren but then let go (on a whim / siren got bored) but human doesn’t know why they were spared so they come back to thank the siren. The siren doesn’t even remember doing that because it was such an insignificant event to them, but now it’s interesting because humans never came on their own.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Beckett had always been a simple fellow. He grew up in WhiteBridge, on a small town farm with his three older sisters picking on him ceaselessly. While he loved WhiteBridge and its quaint charms, Beck found his true passion in books, and studied at Oxford for several years before scouring the globe for his passion. In his quest for knowledge, Beckett chose to join a month-long excursion out at sea, and found himself regretting that decision a few weeks later.

“Steady on there.” One of the sailors, Michelle, handed him a pair of earplugs. “You’ll need these where we’re going.”

Beckett eyed the little pieces of foam dubiously. “And just where might that be?”

“Siren territory.”

Beck hardly believed in such fairy tales, but to calm the sailor’s superstitions he inserted the plugs as instructed. Siren tales aside, Beckett found himself growing as twitchy as the sailors. The coastline hadn’t been visible for ages due to a large amount of fog accumulation. The stormy skies were foreboding as well, indicating that proper precautions would need to be taken. This far north, the weather reports often indicated rocky waves far beyond what should be normal.

Would Beckett sink, out here in the middle of nowhere? Was that to be his fate? The young man began to fret, hastening to make himself useful as the first rolls of thunder sounded off and the waves grew steadily higher.

And then, he heard it. Beckett paused, arms slack on the rope as he attempted to hear that haunting melody. Was the weather playing tricks on him, or was someone calling out to him.

“BECK! EARS!”

Beckett blinked, stunned to find himself standing on the slippery railing. When did he get up here? Beck hastened to climb down, noticing the rest of the crew had their hands firmly clasped over their ears, even with the ear plugs inserted.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Even with the double protection, the voice grew in volume, its booming voice penetrating into their heads. Every single person on board fell victim to its call, the ship’s captain turning the wheel to head towards the beckoning beast. Beckett climbed back up to the railing, plunging overboard into the crashing waves.

With a sputter, Beckett fought to keep his breath, legs kicking desperately against the current. Even in his desperate survival state, the voice called to him, and instinctively Beckett swam in the right direction to answer its call.

Every time the voice paused to take a breath, Beck would regain control for only a moment, his heart pounding as his fate flashed before his eyes with nothing to be done about it. Between one blink and the next, the sky grew darker, a looming shape breaching in the distance. Another blink, and Beckett’s face lost all complexion staring up at his demise.

A great sea serpent, half man half beast, towered with its human half over the pitiful human. With a single shift of its body, the beast created waves that threatened to pull Beck under. Those sharp features and piercing blue eyes were unforgettable, and subconsciously Beck realized this was the last face he would ever see.

Another blink. This time, when the serpent let out a hum, Beckett remained conscious but still out of his own control. His body was lax but his mind manic. The siren reached for him, slimy claws surrounding his form and making Beck shudder as he was raised 50 feet in the air in seconds. Beckett whimpered, coughing out sea water as his gaze was drawn down to the siren’s lips. The creature grinned and revealed its razor-sharp fangs. Taking a deep breath in, the siren revealed the cavernous depths beyond as it prepared to inhale its next meal.

Beckett pleaded nonsense pitifully, tears pouring down his cheeks as the haunting nothingness washed over his mind yet again. Would he even wake once more? Was the beast merciful enough to let Beckett go in his sleep?

When Beckett woke up, he thought he was dead.

He squinted, the sun too bright for his eyes. The sun? What happened to the storm? Stranger yet, the water that had soaked him to the bone was no more. Beck was dry, wrapped in blankets in a stranger’s bed.

“You’re awake.”

Beckett turned his head, his sore muscles protesting the movement. Beside him sat an older looking fellow, hair greying with age. “Who’re you?”

“The name’s Seymour.” Seymour introduced himself. “And who’re you?”

“Beck.” Beckett’s voice felt like he hadn’t spoken in days. “Am I dead?”

“No, but you tried awful hard.” Seymour assured him. “Found you passed out on the shore two days ago. Guessin’ you were part of some shipwreck? Though there wasn’t much wreckage to be found. Awfully impressive for you to have swam that far.”

Is that what happened? Beck frowned, trying to parse out the details. His body ached something terrible. He did remember swimming for a great distance. Had the siren all been a strange vision of his adrenaline-infused thoughts?

“...huh.” Beck settled back into the pillows, looking up at the ceiling. “I… didn’t know I could do that.”

“Well that, or an angel saved you.” Seymour chuckled. “You’re one lucky soul.”

Beck squinted in thought. If that’s what angels looked like, he could understand why all biblical depictions had humans cowering in fear.

(...was it an angel?)

Beckett spent some of the most confusing weeks of his life recovering from the shipwreck. Even as his physical form healed, Beck couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the events that transpired that night. He couldn’t get the notion out of his head that the giant sea serpent was real. It had all felt so lifelike, the claws and the fish breath and the dark melodious tones that haunted his dreams…

Seymour was kind enough to open his home to Beck, offering the traumatized lad a position maintaining his lighthouse while Beckett still fought to gather his wits. “Yer’ not the first.” Seymour assured him with a chuckle. “It’s no water off my back if you want to keep me company while you figure things out.”

You’re not the first. Beckett had cleared his throat, wanting to address that thought. “The other people who wash up on shore… did they ever… see anything?”

Seymour raised a patient eyebrow. “What do you mean, seen? Figure you lot have all seen a lot, what with the wreckage.”

“No, I mean, out at sea.” Beck felt foolish, twiddling his thumbs a bit. “Like a… like a merman.”

To his credit, Seymour did nothing more than a slow blink. “A merman.” He repeated.

“But, not a regular merman.” Beck winced at his own words. Just what was a regular merman? “A big one, like a hundred feet long, and pale white skin, and white locks of hair, and piercing blue eyes-”

“Kid.” Seymour cut him off. “I’ll tell it to ya straight. No, I ain’t ever heard nothing like that.”

Today, Beckett found himself on the cliffside, safely back from the edge as he watched the distant waves. His knees were tucked up to his chest, chin atop them as Beck sat lost in thought. Somewhere out there, Beckett’s giant captor- and later savior- was out there.

Why did the beast let him go? Even further than that, the siren had gone out of its way to give Beck a chance at life. There’s no way Beckett could have made it all the way to the shore on his own, disoriented as he had been.

Despite his better judgement, Beckett had to know the truth. With this foolish notion in mind, Beck set out a few months later, having rented a boat from one of the local fishermen. It took a lot of practice for Beckett to learn how to guide such a vessel, as every crest of a wave made the poor lad jump.

Seymour must think he was mad. Often the kind old man reminded Beckett that he didn’t have to conquer his fear of the waves directly, but Beck had just shook his head. Seymour couldn’t understand the debt Beck felt to the creature that had saved his life, and his curiosity kept him captive. Beckett wouldn’t be free until he had answers.

Of course, once he was out on the waters, Beck realized how foolish of a plan this truly was- he knew nothing about aquatic navigation. Every part of the ocean looked the same to him. Even worse, his memories of the last sea journey were extremely muddled. How on earth was he going to find the same location?

And even as Beck drifted in waters that may or may not be similar, the human realized he had no surefire way of gaining the siren’s attention. He settled for calling out often, hoping his carrying voice would be enough. Did the beast understand english? It was deceptively human-looking.

Beckett’s throat grew parched, and Beck sat down a moment to take careful sips of water from his dwindling bottle. The sky was growing darker, and a familiar fog had begun to roll in. An eerie chill began to creep up the back of Beckett’s neck. Suddenly, this plan wasn’t feeling so wise.

That’s when he heard it. The familiar song of his dreams was echoing across the water. Beck had forgotten the feeling, his limbs stiffening against his will like a marionette pulled taunt.

Blink. A gigantic fish tail, just the tip cresting the waves. Blink. Beckett found himself in the waves, gasping as he kicked frantically to keep his head above water. Blink. All too soon, Beck found himself clasped between those claws, water dripping from his locks as he stared at those terrifying chompers.

Oh god. This was a terrible idea. What should he do? What was there to do? All the blood left Beckett’s face, watching the siren lick its lips. It raised Beck higher, dangling the human by the back of his shirt above a now gaping maw. Beckett let out an unholy screech, realizing he had made a terrible mistake.

Beckett squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the words out of his lungs before he never got the chance again. “WHY DID YOU SPARE ME?!”

To Beck’s great relief, he didn’t find himself lowered onto the beast’s tongue. Instead, after the longest pause of Beckett’s life, he opened his eyes to see the siren’s mouth had gone slack.

“What?”

Beck’s eyebrows shot up into his scalp, shocked to hear the siren actually speak. Guess that meant it understood english, too. Beckett cautiously raised his gaze, meeting the siren’s eyes instead of its teeth. The creature looked confused, to say the least.

“You-” Beck cleared his throat, knowing he had to keep the siren’s attention lest he become a meal. “You spared me.” The siren’s brow furrowed further. Beckett frowned. “You… you saved my life? I mean, first you threatened it, but… 3 months ago? You- our ship, and the song, and… I woke up on the shore…”

Unfortunately, despite being the most momentous occasion of Beckett’s life, the giant sea serpent didn’t seem to have given the night a second thought. Beck couldn’t stop the sinking feel in his chest, knowing this whole journey was pointless after all.

The siren slowly shook his head. “That sounds unlike me.”

“It’s true!” Beckett insisted, especially because his life seemed to be on the line. “I was baffled too, but for some reason you spared me, and-and I don’t know why either! It’s been driving me insane. Why else would I sail all the way out here trying to find you?”

“You came looking for me?” This, at least, caused the siren to raise an interested eyebrow. “That would be a first.”

Beck nodded quickly. “Yes! I’ve been shouting for you all day. And before that I’ve been training for weeks, saving up for a downpayment to borrow Ben’s boat, which I’ll probably be losing now that I have no idea where that ended up…” Beckett grimaced, once again meeting the siren’s gaze. “Sorry, I’ve been told I have a tendency to sidetrack conversations in uncomfortable situations. Boat’s not important. Please don’t eat me.”

To both of their surprise, the siren let out an amused snort, the hot fishy air rustling Beck’s hair.

“I apologize for that.” The creature had the decency to look sheepish, even as its words curdled Beckett’s blood. “It’s nothing personal.”

“Wait, what?!” Beckett immediately began screeching, attempting to squirm out of the claws still holding him captive.

“Stop!” The siren hissed, his grip tightening painfully around Beck’s ribs. “You will fall with that behavior.”

Beck winced, continuing to struggle against the crushing appendages. “That was kind of the idea. I choose waves over teeth.”

“Waves over…?” The siren shook his head. “No, you misunderstand. I will not eat you.”

Beck found that hard to believe. He squinted, judging the gigantic face before him even as the pressure stayed tight around his chest. “So, you were going to?”

“Yes.”

“But now you’re not.”

“Yes.”

“...why?”

“Because you’re quite interesting, little human.” The siren admitted. “Your question confuses me. Do you want to be eaten?”

Beck chose wisely to avoid that question. “My name’s Beckett.” He said instead. “Beck, for short. Not little human, or anything.”

The siren blinked. It must be strange putting a name to your not-food. “My name is Caspian.”

Caspian. For some reason, Beck hadn’t actually pictured the siren having a name. Or talking. Or generally possessing much humanity at all… the self-reflection made him feel a bit guilty.

“It’s nice to meet you, Caspian.” Beck greeted. He glanced around, realizing the sun had finished setting. “Can we circle back to the boat issue? I mean, I’m glad this hasn’t ended fatally, but it is getting late.”

“Hold on.” Caspian frowned. “You spent all that effort to reach me, only to leave? Little Beck, your story has holes.”

“No, no no no.” Beck quickly shut that down, hastily trying to avoid any possibility of a vengeful siren. “No that’s not it at all. It’s just, your time must be very valuable, and I don’t want to intrude. And also, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a great swimmer. Hence the boat.”

“Hmm.” Caspian seemed to consider this for several moments. The giant seemed to reach a conclusion, but Beck was uncertain what it was as he was raised up above Caspian’s head. “Climb on.”

“Climb on?” Beck repeated, confused.

“And hold on tight.” Caspian advised, opening his palm and tilting it so that Beck slid off with a yelp. “I was under the impression you need air to survive?”

“YES! Yes, that is- yes, I need that.” Beckett confirmed, quickly grabbing onto Caspian’s hair as best he could. Not the easiest task in the world with how everything, including himself, was soaked. Nevertheless, Beck was wise enough to prepare himself for whatever a massive sea serpent might have planned.

Without further warning, Caspian lowered himself into the water, only keeping the top of his head above the waves for Beck’s benefit. Beck hastily lowered himself onto his stomach, not wanting to slide off Caspian’s head as the mer began to swim through the ocean faster than a speedboat.

“Where are you going!” Beck shouted above the wind whipping at his face. He squinted, trying to see where the siren was headed but having no luck. Were they swimming to the boat? Had Beck really gotten so far away from it?

Unfortunately, the siren himself offered no answers. The night sky and fog did not help Beck’s visibility. In these conditions, he was practically blind.

After several minutes of this less-than-ideal water travel, Caspian came to an abrupt stop. Beck frowned, finding himself staring at a rocky cliffside shore. Was Caspian trying to return him to the lighthouse again? But none of this looked familiar…

Caspian raised his head above the waves, sending Beck scrambling to keep his hold. It didn’t matter, as those familiar claws came up and plucked the human from Caspian’s hair.

“Hold your breath.” Caspian advised. This was Beck’s only warning as he was cupped between Caspian’s hands, the mer diving beneath the surface.

Thankfully, Beckett was intelligent enough to take the warning to heart. He held his breath, eyes squeezed tightly shut to avoid getting saltwater in them. The pressure became quite intense as Caspian dove several dozen meters down with ease. It made Beck feel like his head would pop at any moment. Was Caspian trying to drown him? But why go through all the effort of telling Beck to hold his breath, if only to drag it out?

Just as Beck could take it no longer and felt on the verge of passing out, Caspian breached the surface. Immediately Beck began to suck in large gulps of air, snorting to get the water that got stuck unpleasantly up his nose.

Despite being above the surface, Beck couldn’t see anything. He tried not to panic, heart racing thanks to all the uncertainties of the situation. “Where- where are we?”

“Home.”

Caspian’s answer only brought on further questions. Home? What kind of home did a gigantic merman have, anyway? Slowly his human eyes began to adjust to the darkness, noticing that bioluminescent moss seemed to give the space just enough light to see the outlines of shapes. It appeared they were in some sort of underground cavern, the water lapping against a craggy water-worn shore.

“Ah, yes. Of Course. Home.” Beck tried not to think about the several deadly reasons a wild animal might welcome him into its living space. But thankfully, Caspian wasn’t just an animal. He could talk, he seemed half human- that had to amount to something, right?

Of course, Caspian had still planned to eat him. So. There’s that.

“You’re still not gonna eat me, right?” Beck asked, not about to leave something so important to chance.

“Right.” Caspian sighed, as if the question were a mild annoyance and not tied to Beckett’s entire livelihood. “But you have disturbed my hunting time. I’m hungry.”

“Not sure that’s entirely my fault…” Beckett murmured to himself.

Caspian lowered his cupped palms to the rocky shore, setting Beck down away from the water’s edge. “Stay here.”

“Wha-? Stay here?” Beck became alarmed, taking a few nervous steps to catch his footing on the slippery slope. “Where are you going?”

“Do not worry.” Caspian assured Beck, easing himself back into the water. “I’ll bring you back something to eat as well.” With that, Caspian dove back into the water, leaving Beck alone in this dark murky cave.

Beckett blinked, shocked to find himself alone in this enclosure. “I don’t think he knows what humans eat.” Beck grimaced, not eager to see just what Caspian would be bringing back for him. Would it be wriggling? Slimy? Would it be human? The thought made Beck want to throw up.

Beckett shivered, feeling chilly now that the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. He found himself in an unknown underwater cave off the coastline somewhere, still soaked to the bone in his wet rags. The icy temperature in here was freezing, and the water wasn’t any warmer. Was Beck going to die of frostbite here? How long was Caspian planning on keeping him prisoner?

Beckett walked up and down the shore, looking for any driftwood or materials to make a fire. He had no luck, of course, but even if he had Beck didn’t know the first thing about starting a fire. So with nothing to warm himself, what should Beck do? Beckett knew from all the books he’d read on environmental conditions that staying in his wet clothing was one of the worst strategies for survival, but standing around naked in the freezing cave didn’t sound any more appealing. Not to mention, Beck had no way of drying his clothes even if they left his person. He would just have to put the soaking wet rags back on eventually.

Making a foolish decision, Beck kept his clothes on in the hopes that his own body temperature would help dry them eventually. Coming from the man who went out to sea to search for his would-be murderer all day, perhaps Beck shouldn’t be treating himself as a good source for advice.

“What was I thinking?” Beck murmured, pacing back and forth to try and keep the blood flowing to his extremities. His fingertips were growing numb, and Beck shoved them in his armpits to try and keep them warm.

Should he try and escape? Beckett guessed there must be some underwater entrance to this cavern, but there was no way of knowing how deep he would have to dive to reach it, how long the tunnel itself was, nor how high he’d have to swim to reach the surface on the other side. Beckett wasn’t known to be a particularly decent swimmer. Even just the idea of getting in the water right now made Beck shudder, not eager to get soaking wet once more.

Beckett let out a yawn, the excitement of the day catching up to him. He was cold, and tired. Nothing sounded better than stripping off these clothes and lying down in a warm, dry bed back at Seymour’s.

Oh gosh, Seymour. What was the old man gonna think when Beck didn’t return home like he claimed? He knew Seymour had little faith in Beck’s sailing abilities, but Beckett had foolishly promised to be careful. Would Seymour mourn him? Worse yet, would Seymour try to send out a rescue? What if Caspian found him and wasn’t so merciful?

Beckett was dead on his feet by the time the water began to shift. Beck slapped himself out of his stupor, standing to attention in his semi-dry clothes as the giant merman emerged.

Caspian pulled himself partially up onto the shore, holding out one hand to Beck. As expected, none of this looked edible in its current form. There was a live octopus, still wriggling around, a half dozen oysters, a few slimy eels, and a few other squirming entities Beckett wasn’t certain how to classify.

“Oh, thanks.” Beck tried to keep the disgust off his facial features. Even with not eating all day, Beck didn’t have much of an appetite. But would Caspian be mad if Beck didn’t eat it? It’s not like Beckett asked for it in the first place...

“I was uncertain what you would like.” Caspian admitted, a soft frown gracing his features as he nudged the human with his fingertips, encouraging Beck to eat. “Will this be good for you? Do not be shy, I ate my fill already.”

Beck cleared his throat. “Well, uh, some of this is what humans can eat, but we don’t eat it… raw. Or alive, usually.”

“Hmm.” Caspian considered this for a moment, taking one of the eels between his claws. Caspian raised the creature to his lips. In one swift motion, Caspian used his fangs to tear off the eel’s head, sending a small spurt of blood spattering down.

Beck cried out, quickly covering his head with his arms to try and avoid getting caught in the rain. “COOKED! IT NEEDS TO BE COOKED!” Beck hastily corrected, turning a bit green as Caspian tried to once again offer him the bloody corpse. “It needs to be prepared right, too, I don’t think I’m supposed to eat a lot of stuff found in live fish, they usually gut ‘em and stuff, and I’ve never been one for sushi in the first place.”

Caspian licked his lips, clearing away the blood stains as he tilted his head like a pup. “What do you mean, ‘cooked’?”

Beck slowly uncovered his head, thankful Caspian seemed to have backed off for a moment. “Right, cooked.” Beck nodded to himself. “Guess you wouldn’t know what that is, living in the ocean and all. Um, do you know what fire is?” It was Caspian’s turn to nod. “Wait, you do? How?”

“Fire chokes out life.” Caspian explained. “It creates the smoke and the ash that destroys the shores.”

“Well… yeah, I guess it does do that, sometimes.” Beckett admitted. “But we use it in smaller, healthy doses. You use it to cook your food, usually heating it up and changing it to be healthy.”

Caspian seemed more confused the further this conversation went on.

“Unfortunately, there’s no fuel here anyways.” Beck gestured to their surroundings. “And I don’t know how to make a fire anyways, so-”

“No fire.” Caspian said sternly. He sounded more like a stern parent, banning experimentation with firecrackers in the house.

“No fire.” Beck confirmed. He glanced at the ceiling. “Probably wouldn’t have been the best idea anyways, all enclosed like this. But anyways, no. I can’t accept your fish. Thank you, it was very kind of you, I’ll be forever grateful, but if I eat that I will be sick.”

“...hmm.” Caspian looked- disappointed? Frustrated? It was hard to tell the mer’s emotions, but Caspian at the very least seemed to understand Beck’s meaning, as he pulled his handful of fish back to himself. With a thoughtful expression, giving Beck one last option to protest, Caspian tilted the whole mixture into his mouth, chewing it into a paste and swallowing with ease.

Gross. Beck kept this thought to himself, grateful he was not on the other side of Caspian’s abs himself as the pleased merman gave his stomach a few pats.

“Then what will you eat?” Caspain asked, laying down to be more at eye level with the little man.

“Well, uh, I suppose I can always eat after I get home.” Beckett chose his words carefully, still uncertain what Caspian’s intentions were. “My friend would usually make meals with me. Stew, most of the time.”

Caspian’s eyebrows furrowed. “I can make stew with you.”

“No, you can’t.” Beck corrected. Gently. “No fire, remember? Fire’s needed for stew, too. And we don’t have any of the other ingredients. Vegetables, seasonings, broth, cooked meat… stuff like that. And any we got in here would be soaked with sea water, and that’s not great for humans either.”

The giant siren seemed displeased with this answer, obviously intent on keeping the human alive. This, at least, was one positive note in a storm of negativity for the evening.

With a displeased hum, Caspian reached out his hand towards Beckett. Instinctively Beck flinched away, worried the siren had gotten bored and wanted to do away with him, but all that happened was a giant digit began carefully stroking the top of Beck’s head and down the length of his back.

“Uh...what are you doing?” Beck asked, still stiff as a board.

Caspian didn’t seem inclined to answer. Instead he tilted his head, curious blue eyes intently studying Beckett. “Can you sing?”

Beckett blinked. “Can I what?”

“Can you sing?” Caspian repeated, and after Beck gave a nod: “sing for me.”

“Oh, well, I can sing, but not very well, mind you.” Beck admitted, looking a bit sheepish. The stage had always been his sister’s forte. “Certainly not to your caliber. I don’t think you want to hear me sing at all, actually.”

“Yes I do.” Caspian insisted gently. “Sing.”

Beck let out a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for such a task. What song does one even use to serenade a siren? After careful consideration, Beckett selected an old nursery rhyme from his childhood, both for its brief length and easy melody.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star-” Beckett began, his voice shaking. He cleared his throat, trying to project a bit more even as Caspian leaned in to hear. “How I wonder what you are. Like a diamond in the sky, up above the world so high…”

Beckett had shut his eyes, trying to forget about any pressures to perform. A nice benefit to this impromptu concert is that Caspian had paused his petting to allow Beck to focus. “Twinkle twinkle, little star… how… er, ...up… ah…y’know what? I’ve forgotten the last line, actually.”

Beck grimaced, opening his eyes. Caspian was as difficult to read as ever, the siren’s face passive as Beckett awaited any sort of review.

“That was it?” Caspian clarified.

“Yeah, not a very long song.” Beckett agreed. “Meant for children, y’know? Just to… well I don’t know the point of it, actually, I guess it’s just something to sing.”

“Ah.” Caspian drummed his fingers along the rocks. “It was…”

Beckett waited not so patiently. “Well?” He spoke up. “I told you I’m a lousy singer.”

Considering the siren made no effort to disagree, Caspian held the same opinion, yet he wore a pained expression. Perhaps Caspian had held out hope for Beck after all? But then again, even if he were a renowned opera singer, how could a human voice ever possibly appeal to a siren?

“I thought everyone could sing.” Caspian admitted quietly.

For some reason, this bashful admission is what finally set Beck roaring with laughter. Beck clutched at his sides, doubled over with mirth as a concerned siren watched. Caspian let out a noise of concern, reaching out his hand to prod Beck in the side.

“No- I’m good!” Beck hastily assured him, pushing away the finger as if he had any chance of telling the siren what to do. “It’s just- ah, fuck. What a day, you know?” And with that, tears began to pour down Beckett’s cheeks, the poor exhausted boy helpless to stop them as he alternated between laughing and sobbing.

Now Caspian let out a whine, the trill noise echoing across the cavern walls as Caspian scooped the human up into his hands. Beck gasped, momentarily without air as he was forced against Caspian’s chest. “Shh, shhh.” Caspian hushed him, patting his back like he was a child.

Well, what did it matter? Beck felt like a child. He was tired, and hungry, and cold, and he just wanted to go home. Unable to work on any of those things, Beckett tried instead to take the comfort that was given to him, so overwhelmed by the day that this might as well happen.

Beck hiccupped, his tears still coming but too exhausted to keep wailing. Beckett leaned into Caspian’s chest, the smooth seal texture feeling surprisingly warm and dry for a creature that spent most of its life in the ocean. If he focused, Beck could hear a rhythmic thumping. It was Caspian’s heart, just on the other side of this ribcage.

“I wanna go home.” Beck murmured, more to himself than the siren who wouldn’t listen. “I just wanna go home.”

A rumbling sensation filled Beck’s ears, which he slowly recognized as Caspian’s singing. Beck closed his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the call.

…

“...Beck?”

---

“-OI! Wake UP!”

Beck coughed, startled awake as he found himself once again doused in sea water. He blinked, disoriented to feel the surface beneath him was rocking like a boat. Before Beck could ponder that out, a bright light shined directly in his eyes, making him squint.

“Blimey, you look half dead.” Seymour whistled, taking stock of Beck’s appearance.

“I...what?” Beck frowned, looking around. They were on a boat. What happened? Last thing he remembered, Caspian had been coddling him like a wounded babe. “Where’s Caspian?”

“Who?” Seymour didn’t have a clue.

“Caspian! I- the giant siren!” Beck looked around, trying to spot anything in the darkness of night.

“Boy, I think you swallowed too much seawater.” Seymour shook his head, easing Beck back down. “Take it easy, you’re lucky to be alive.” Seymour pulled out an emergency orange blanket, wrapping it firmly around Beck’s shoulders. It was only then that Beck came to the startling conclusion he was naked, stripped of his wet clothes entirely. At least he could see them lying on the deck as well.

“The voice.” Beck insisted, staying down only because his head felt dizzy. “You must have heard him singing? He was singing. What’d I miss this time?”

Seymour had no answers, as far as giant sirens went. Instead, he explained his side of things. “When you didn’t come back yesterday, I came out to look for ya.” Seymour explained. “You must have a guardian angel after all. Caught you in my sights only by change with the spotlight, adrift in the waves. No idea how the hell you’ve got a speck of life in you, jumping in without a liferaft or lifejacket or nothin’. Holy hell son, ya got a death wish, there’s easier ways of going out.”

“I- what?” Beck frowned. “No, that… that’s not what happened.”

“Hypothermia can cause hallucinations.” Seymour swore under his breath. “Shit, you’re in a worse state than I thought. Never should have let you come out here alone in the first place, nevermind with Ben’s boat. He’s gonna kill ya, y’know, if you do manage to survive the night.”

“Didn’t mean to lose the boat.” Beckett rubbed at his eyes. “Got left behind on the way to the caverns.”

“To the caverns, he says.” Seymour rolled his eyes, handing Beck a warm thermos. “Drink. Sit. And don’t fall asleep.” With these last instructions, Seymour moved over to the captain’s chair, starting the motor and steering the boat back towards shore.

Beck stared at the waves passing by, sipping gently at the contents of the thermos. Tasted like hot lemon tea. Beck would have preferred hot chocolate, if shipwreck survivors were allowed to have preferences.

Was it a shipwreck? Did he jump in? No… no it was Caspian, wasn’t it? Dumb seal’s fault for it all. That, Beck was certain. Too bad he couldn’t charge the siren for Ben’s boat.

Before, Beck had barely escaped with his life, lost and confused about his potential giant savior. Now, he knew so much more than he had before. Caspian was real. Caspian’s name was Caspian. Caspian had intended to eat him, didn’t, and then let him go. Caspian had forgotten him.

Would Caspian forget him again? Why did that notion make Beck feel so uneasy?

It wasn’t like Beck owed Caspian anything, truly. The guy had saved his life twice now, but only after endangering it in the first place. But why did Caspian let him go this time? It seemed as if Caspian was intent on keeping him around like some sort of amusing lil’ pet. What had changed?

Beck’s mind was too tired to process through such things. He sipped more of the tea, growing drowsy.

“No sleeping!” Seymour yelled.

“Yes sir!” Beck jolted upright, regretting it when his head pounded. The sound of the waves had changed. Beck could hear them crashing against the shore, indicating they were almost to the dock.

Seymour expertly steered the ship into the harbor, a feat which took a good deal of skill in the middle of the night. Once securely fastened, Seymour offered Beck a hand, hauling the boy to his feet and keeping Beck steady all the way up to the lighthouse.

“Alright, in you get.” Seymour instructed, easing Beck into bed. He piled more blankets onto Beckett, disappearing briefly to grab a warm compress which he placed on Beckett’s forehead.

“I really did see him.” Beckett murmured, closing his eyes as the warmth lulled him into a deep slumber.

Seymour let out a low sigh. “I’m sure you did.” Seymour murmured, patting Beck’s arm.

[skeeter-110]

Just Dropping in

Tony Stark was all alone. Which was fine, he knew that's how it was going to be when he purposely disappeared years ago. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart. What he wasn't prepared for, though, was a teen boy in red pajamas breaking into his apartment and bleeding out on his couch.

Remix of Apartment 43B by ironfamjam for the @irondadremix

Read on AO3

Tony was awake in a flash when he heard a loud crash and bang coming from his living room. He sat up in bed for a second, waiting and listening to try and figure out what the noise was.

It didn’t take long for him to hear footsteps shuffling around and for it to dawn on him that someone had broken into his apartment.

A thousand different thoughts began to run through his head as he scrambled out of bed; a thousand different scenarios of what truly could be happening.

Had someone found him? Were they here to kidnap and hold him for ransom? If they were they were going to be extremely disappointed when they realized that no one was going to actually pay to save Tony.

As quietly as he could, Tony grabbed the crowbar he kept in his toolbox - thankful that he forgot to put his toolbox back in his workshop - and began to creep down the hallway.

Tony was fully expecting to see a group of men trying to rob him of all he had, but what Tony wasn’t expecting was a body just laying there on his couch.

Carefully, Tony approached the person, holding the crowbar up in a defensive position just in case it was a trap and the person was just pretending so they could attack.

When he got closer though, it wasn’t hard to see what was wrong.

The Spider-Man that Tony has been seeing all over the news and internet - that Tony had been keeping recent tabs on - was lying there unconscious and bleeding out on his couch.

“Oh, shit.” Tony breathes out once the image clicks in his brain.

Tossing the crowbar to the side, Tony all but ran over to the vigilante’s side, looking him over to try and see what exactly was wrong. Although, the blood pooling around the guy’s leg and seeping into Tony’s couch was a big giveaway.

“Alright, guy, don’t punch me for this, but you need help and I can’t do that with your clothes in the way,” Tony mumbles as he turns the living room light on.

Spider-Man didn’t even stir as the light filtered through the room, which both settled and unsettled Tony; it settled him because at least he wasn’t going to have to strip this guy and fix him up while he was awake, but it also unsettled him because the guy could very well be more than just unconscious.

Slowly, in case he had a head injury, Tony took off Spider-Man’s mask - if you ever wanted to call it that - gasping a bit when he saw the man underneath. Or, rather, the boy.

“Ah, shit. Of course, he’s a child because why wouldn’t he be?” Tony curses before shaking his head to snap out of it.

Quickly and gently, Tony began to take the make-shift superhero suit off of the teen, stopping short when he got to the gear on the kid’s wrists. The scientist in him couldn’t help but look over the cartridges, noticing that they were now empty.

"Well, that explains the webbing. Somehow I don't know if it’s better knowing that stuff isn’t coming out of him or not.” Tony mumbles to himself as he continued to strip the vigilante, cringing when he got to the teen’s leg and saw that’s where the worst of it was coming from.

Tony got up and went into his bathroom, praying the kid would stay asleep while he grabbed his first aid kit. The last thing he needed was for the kid to wake up and freak out.

Tony was just thankful that he's had one too many late-night workshop accidents and knew exactly how to stitch someone up

“Stay asleep. Please, stay asleep.” Tony begs as he approaches Spider-man once again, hoping and praying the kid didn’t wake up while he was in the middle of putting him back together.

Tony continued to repeat those same words as he worked, thankful that whatever higher power that’s out there heard him and kept Spider-Man completely unconscious.

After checking the kid’s pulse and confirming that yes he was still alive and didn’t have any other life-threatening injuries, Tony pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and used it to cover Spider-man up.

Tony stood there for a bit, just staring and marveling at how young the vigilante really was. Tony quickly concluded that there was no way the hero knew what he was doing and that he might as well help him out in more ways than one.

Going to the bathroom, Tony began preparing a whole separate first-aid kit for the teen to take with him whenever he left. He made sure to put everything the kid could need, hoping that it would be enough in the future.

Looking at the time after he finished, Tony sighed and began heading back to his bedroom, figuring that he might as well get a few more hours of sleep before having to deal with what would inevitably be one of the most disastrous mornings of his life.

*   *   *

When he woke up, Tony actually almost forgot completely what had happened a few hours prior. Almost.

That bliss didn’t last long though because once he was fully awake, the memories began to flood through his mind.

Tony just groaned and threw his arm over his eyes, giving himself two more peaceful seconds before forcing himself out of bed to check on the body on his couch.

Sure enough, when he got out to the living room, Spider-man was still lying there on his couch fast asleep.

Tony walked over to the teenager, checking his pulse one more time before going into the kitchen to start the coffee pot up. It was way too early to be dealing with any of this without at least three cups of caffeine in his system.

While waiting for his coffee to finish brewing, Tony tried to think about where to go from here. Should he wake the kid up? There has to be someone out there looking for him, right?

So many different questions and thoughts were running through Tony’s head, and not for the first time, the idea of getting charged for kidnapping crossed Tony’s mind.

After all, if someone really was looking for Spider-man, it would be extremely difficult to explain how he got in Tony’s apartment without some sort of kidnapping allegation popping up.

After finishing up his first cup of coffee, Tony figured that the kid was going to be asleep for a little while longer so he began heading to his bedroom - not without his second cup of coffee though - to get dressed and ready for the day.

Hearing groaning coming from the living room, Tony made sure to make it quick, walking back out to see Spider-Man staring down at his bandaged leg with confusion.

"Morning Spider-Man.” Tony greets, leaning against the entryway with a faux nonchalance. The teen in return let out a very childish manly squeal and tried to cover himself up more with the throw blanket Tony had given him.

Tony could help but snort in amusement as Spider-Man began to look him up and down. For a split second, Tony worried that Spider-Man recognized him from before he disappeared, but the moment passed when the kid’s eyes began to dart around the rest of the apartment.

“Who the heck are you? Where’s Harry?” Spider-Man questions. Tony just took another sip of his coffee, hoping that if he stayed calm about this whole thing then Spider-Man would stay calm also.

“I don’t know who ‘Harry’ is, but I’m Tony.” Tony introduced, staring at Spider-Man for a bit longer as he tried to decide what his next move should be. Anything that could avoid getting charges pressed against him by whoever “Harry” was. “But the real question is who are you? Considering you just broke into my apartment in the middle of the night and then passed out on my couch - you left an impressive bloodstain, by the way. It was pretty gross.”

“Oh my god.” Spider-Man groaned before burying his face in his hands. Tony watched the exact moment that panic began to set in Spider-Man, noticing when his breathing began to pick up a bit.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Crazier shit’s happened to me, trust me.” Tony tries to reassure, walking over towards the teen with his hands up, trying to placate him like he was some wild animal. Considering Tony isn't really around teenagers very often, he might as well be.

Spider-Man removed his hands, looking up at Tony with wide and slightly terrified eyes. Tony could understand why he was terrified, though.

Here he was sitting in a random man’s apartment, injured, and said random man now knew who he truly was. It was a terrifying situation, especially for someone so young.

“And don’t worry about your secret identity. I can keep a secret.” Tony adds, miming zipping up his lips and making sure to grin comfortingly after.

Spider-Man just continued to stare Tony down with a wary look before looking back down at his injured leg. Tony watched as the teen lightly touched the bandages before wrapping the blanket tighter around. Slowly but surely, Spider-Man looked back up at Tony and began to relax back into the couch.

Once Tony was sure the teen wasn’t about to have a breakdown he got up and went into the kitchen, preparing another cup of coffee. The kid sure looked like he could use a couple of cups.

“Thanks.” Spider-Man quietly says as he takes the offered cup out of Tony’s hands.

“I can’t survive a day without at least three cups so I can’t imagine what it’s like for a super kid,” Tony says just to ease a bit of the awkwardness and to have something to talk about other than the big elephant in the room.

"You’d be surprised how much energy I’ve got. My Aunt considered buying me a hamster wheel when I was younger just so I could run it all off. Now I’m more of a hot chocolate kinda guy.” Spider-Man jokes making Tony chuckle. The kid was charming, that’s for sure.

“Well, if you’re going to be stopping bad guys, all that pep must come in handy. A full stomach probably helps, you hungry?” Tony offers, figuring the whole conversation about “why” would go over a bit smoother if the kid had something in his system.

Instead, Spider-Man quickly threw his legs over the side of the couch and attempted to stand up.

“Hey, hey, you gotta go easy on that leg of yours. It’s very delicately put back together.” Tony says when Spider-Man ends up hunching over and hissing from the pain.

Quickly Tony sat his cup on the table and gently put his hands on Spider-man’s shoulders, easing him back down onto the couch. Once the teen was sitting again, Tony examined the bandage, noticing that blood was beginning to seep through it.

“Yeah, that probably needs to be changed.” Tony sighs to himself, thankful that he left the first-aid kit out in the living room last night. Tony had a sneaking suspicion that Spider-Man would try and escape if he was left alone.

Tony made sure to be quick when unwrapping the bandages, unsure if the sight would make the kid queasy; to be honest he didn’t want to find out. It was already bad enough there was a bloodstain on the couch, Tony doesn’t need to add throw-up to the mix.

“Wow. Mine never look like that,” Spider-Man says, admiring the work done on his leg. “Are you a doctor?”

“Oh, God, no. All that schooling? No thanks. I’ve just picked up a few things. Some of it comes in handy. Though, I admit, I never thought I’d be doing this.” Tony absentmindedly says, his main focus on cleaning around the stitching without hurting the kid.

“I’m sorry again.” Spider-Man apologies, although Tony wasn’t really focused on that because his words from a split second ago finally sunk in.

“Wait- did you just say you do this yourself?” Tony asks, a bit horrified at the idea of someone so young and untrained trying to professionally stitch themselves up.

“Only sometimes! And it’s fine because I heal really fast so it never really matters. I’m fine.” Spider-Man defends. All Tony could do was stare blankly at the teen, not even knowing where to begin with that one.

“I’m exhausted just hearing that,” Tony deadpans before returning back to Spider-Man’s leg. “And you’re lucky I got to this when I did. I don’t even want to think about you going at something as messy as this.” Tony says, shuddering a bit at the thought.

“Yeah… I’m sorry you had to deal with me yesterday. Last night was… it was really stupid. And I couldn’t get away without coming here. My friend Harry lives here and I thought I got the right apartment, but, obviously, I’m really bad at counting or something. It’s just - this place looks so much like his that I never even noticed.” Spider-Man rambles. Tony just sat there and listened with amusement, trying to take everything the teen was saying in.

“But, really, Mr. uh, Mr. Tony, it was totally an accident and I’ll cover the washing costs for your couch if that isn't too gross. I could buy you a new one too! But, that might take a while ‘cause it looks expensive and the paper pays me the absolute lowest they possibly can, but I’ll try my best.” Spider-Man continues, his tone of voice getting more and more frantic as he went.

“Woah, kid, take a breath. It’s fine. You’re fine. Who hasn’t broken into a stranger’s house and passed out on their couch? It’s a coming of age experience.” Tony tries to soothe, hoping his teasing tone would be enough to settle the teen.

“And don’t worry about the couch. All the furniture is a rental from the complex; that’s why your friend’s stuff and mine look the same. Guess we’re both too lazy to decorate ourselves.” Tony says, giving the bandages one last tug.

“Well, he just moved out of his dad’s place, so that was probably the last thing on his mind, to be honest,” Spider-Man explains, reminding Tony of why he never even bothered to get new furniture in his place.

Because when he first moved in here, when everything was falling apart and Tony wanted nothing more than to run like a coward and disappear, the last thing on his mind was getting new furniture also.

Tony quickly snaps out of the memory, taking care of the bandages around him.

“I bet he isn’t as good at making omelets as I am. You like peppers?” Tony pushes past the moment, standing up to go into the kitchen when something makes him pause. “And it’s Stark, by the way. Tony Stark. But you can just call me Tony.” Tony introduces, figuring that if the kid hasn’t recognized him by now, then his full name wasn’t going to make any difference.

“No, really Mr. Stark, it’s okay. I don’t want to bother you more. I already wanna die.” Spider-Man sheepishly refuses.

“I did not just patch you up for you to die in my living room,” Tony says before looking at the clock in the kitchen. “Besides, don’t you have school or something? You can’t be more than - what - fourteen?”

“Sixteen.” Spider-Man corrects, pulling an exasperated look out of Tony.

“Ahh, yes, the big difference between a child and a slightly bigger child.” Tony patronizes as he pulls out everything needed to begin making breakfast. “So, what’s a kid like you doing going around fighting crime anyway?”

“My, uh, my uncle died, a year ago.” Spider-Man answers, Tony pausing his slicing in order to turn around and face the teen.

“I’m sorry, kid. That’s hard.” Tony sincerely says watching as Spider-Man just shrugs it off.

“Yeah… it, uhh, it really sucked. Especially because I had already gotten my powers and I could’ve… I could’ve saved him. But I didn't know how at the time. And I just knew, at that moment, that I had to make sure something like that never happened again. I can’t live knowing that I had the power to stop something bad from happening and I chose to do nothing.” Spider-Man continues explaining.

Tony couldn't help but sadly smile, remembering all the things that he could’ve - should’ve - done sooner to stop so much damage from happening. But it was too late now. Way too late.

“Yeah. I get that.” Tony practically whispers before - once again - snapping himself out of his memories by turning around and beginning to crack some eggs into a bowl. “Well, I hear you make quite the impression. So I’d say you’re doing a bang-up job, Underoos.” Tony says, forcing himself to sound light-hearted as he poured the mixture into a pan. Now was not the time to wallow; wallowing was strictly a before-bed routine.

“I hope so.” Spider-Man sighs before realizing what he was just called “Underoos?” He squawks.

“You’re basically wearing PJ’s, kid.” Tony points out, smiling to himself when Spider-Man continued to protest.

“They’re- They’re not PJ’s!”

“If you say so.” Tony continues to tease as he plates the omelet, pouring a glass of orange juice to go along with it before walking into the living room.  

“Mr. Stark, you’re amazing. Thank you. I’m sorry.” Spider-Man stumbles over his words as Tony hands him the breakfast, causing Tony to roll his eyes in return.

“So, while you were comatose on my couch, I noticed your cartridges were empty. You make that webbing stuff yourself?” Tony begins to question once he was comfortable in the armchair with - yet another - cup of coffee.

Spider-Man just nodded, in the middle of shoveling the omelet in his mouth. Tony just whistled in response, completely impressed with what this teen was able to do.

“The tensile strength of that stuff is off the charts. How’d you come up with it?” Tony asks, once again not even bothering to keep the scientist in him from coming out.

“Trial and error, and error, and error,” Spider-Man begins to reply after washing down his food with the orange juice. “I’m good at chemistry and I get to hang around the school lab a lot so it’s easy for me to just,” Spider-Man continues to answer, miming pouring a bunch of things together.

Tony couldn’t help but bust out laughing, the realization of how ridiculous this whole thing was fully sitting in. Spider-Man really was a young child.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me the ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ makes his web-fluid in a high school lab ?” Tony asks, laughing even harder when the kid gave him a look as if he had just sucked on a lemon.

“It’s not funny! Where else am I supposed to make it?” Spider-Man protests, Tony just shaking his head as he tried to regain his composure.

“Well, what about you? It’s fully working hours and yet here you are.” Spider-Man points out as if he really was doing something there.

“Yeah. Here I am. In my own home that I pay for.” Tony replied dryly, only softening up and shrugging when he realized that he might have embarrassed the kid. “Don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Well, what do you usually do?” Spider-Man asks and wasn’t that a loaded question. Tony smiled a bit as he ran through his head what he should say. He couldn’t tell the whole truth about working with the Avengers - not without giving himself away and defeating the whole purpose of disappearing in the first place - but he didn’t want to necessarily lie either.

“Let’s just say I’m an over-glorified mechanic. Or, I was anyway. Now, I just do my own thing. I fix people’s stuff.” Tony simplifies.

“Oh cool, like their cars and stuff?” Spider-Man asks as he continues to devour the plate of food. “My friend Ernest - well, he’s not really my friend, but he’s this guy I know ‘cuz one time these guys were holding his shop up and I went in like ‘Hey! This is automatically a crime!’ except they didn’t get it, so I wrapped up faster than usual.” Spider-Man rambles, pouting a bit when he brings up the criminals not understanding his joke.

“Yeah, they didn’t get it because that’s probably the worst pun I’ve ever heard.” Tony teases.

“Hey! You try coming up with good one-liners while fighting off three guys.” Spider-Man squawks.

Several memories began flooding through Tony’s mind -memories of multiple fights he was in, bad-mouthing all of the criminals - the man having to snap himself out of it before he got sucked too deep in it all. “I guarantee I’d still come up with better.”

Like the child he was, Spider-Man just stuck his tongue out in return before reaching down and setting his empty plate on the coffee table.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I, uh- I really appreciate what you did for me. You didn’t have to, but I won’t forget it.” Spider-Man shyly voices his gratitude.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. And I know you won’t listen to a word of this, but be careful out there. It’s all fun and games until you get stabbed.” Tony fondly says as he got up. He quickly walked into his bedroom and grabbed the first-aid kit.

“I made you a kit. There are some instructions in there because sometimes you just really don’t have the spare minutes to go through pages of Google searches before you bleed out or something.” Tony explains as he walks back out of his bedroom. Sitting down next to the teen, Tony opened up the box and began to take out some wipes.

“Use these to disinfect your leg every so often and make sure to change the bandage or it’s really gonna suck. There’s also some stuff in here to stitch yourself up, but, I have multiple instructions - with pictures - so you at least somewhat know what you’re doing. I put some Advil in there just in case, but I’m not sure if it would work on you; it wouldn't hurt to try, though. And the Vaseline in here is for bruising. If you put it on a few minutes after the injury happened, it won’t bruise.” Tony rambles, wanting to make sure the teen had everything he needed.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. This is so cool. Thank you. But this is too much. I literally broke into your house and you’re being honestly way too cool about it; it’s freaking me out.” Spider-Man jokes, clearly extremely grateful even if he was trying to seem nonchalant about it. Tony just snorted and fondly ruffled the kid’s hair.

“I can’t in good conscience let you walk outta here without at least that. It’s bad for my heart condition.” Tony says, hoping that if he made it about him it would help the kid ease up on it. Although he quickly dropped the teasing and light-hearted tone in exchange for something a bit more serious so Spider-Man would listen to the next part Tony had to say and take it to heart.

“But if you’re ever in trouble, or you need a place to hide, or you’re too stubborn to go to a hospital like a normal person, you can always come back here.”

“I can’t do that, no, really. It’s okay. Thank you, though, Mr. Stark, but I’m okay. Really. This was just a fluke. A complete one-off, once-in-a-lifetime event. Promise.” Spider-Man adamantly refuses the offer, going so far as to even wave his hands to get the point across.

“You’ve already violated the sanctity of my door, what’s one more time.” Tony jokes, smiling when the teen buried his face in his hands.

“Mr. Stark.” Spider-Man draws out causing Tony to throw his head back and laugh.

*   *   *

Tony wasn’t actually expecting Spider-Man to show up again at his apartment. Not with how embarrassed and adamant the teen was that nothing was going to happen again.

Tony accepted that he was never going to see the teen again as soon as he was able to leave the apartment. All Tony could really do was hope that the kid was following instructions and was cleaning his leg like he was supposed to.

It wasn’t until late the next day when Tony was coming back home from work that he saw a sign of Spider-Man stopping by once again. Right outside on his balcony was a little plate wrapped up in saran wrap.

Curious, Tony walked outside and saw that Spider-Man had left him a plate of cookies while he was out.

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head, grabbing the plate and walking inside with it.

Of course, the kid would do something as silly and wholesome as leaving him a plate of cookies as - what he was assuming was - a thank you.

Tony took the cookies and put them in his own Tupperware so he could give the plate back, popping one of the cookies in his mouth as he did so.

Humming appreciably, Tony put the plate back out on the balcony before walking back inside and grabbing more bandages. Tony set the bandages down next to the plate before writing out a note for the kid.

You better be disinfecting that leg kid.

Tony figured he would get a kick out of that one, plus hopefully, it’ll drive the message home and make Spider-Man listen if he wasn’t before.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

Tony hadn’t heard anything else from Spider-Man, hadn’t even gotten a sign that the kid was around other than the fact that he took the plate along with the bandages. Which was okay. Tony prepared and expected this.

That didn’t stop him from worrying though. And, of course, his worry led him to the same place it always does; his workshop.

Every time he had another worry come up - like how he had no idea if the kid was still hurt, if the kid was alright now, or if he had gotten hurt all over again - Tony continued to add more and more to his project.

While he worked, Tony tried telling himself that Spider-Man not showing up in a couple of weeks was a good thing. It meant that the kid most likely wasn’t hurt and didn’t need Tony to patch him up. That thought was the only thing bringing him comfort.

Telling himself that working on his project was also a good “just in case” thing and that he most likely won’t even need to give it to Spider-Man in the first place helped comfort him also.

So, yeah, Tony wasn’t expecting to see the vigilante again.

Tony also wasn’t expecting someone to knock on his front door one random night.

Almost as soon as Tony heard the knock, he jumped up to his feet.

Several different thoughts began running through Tony’s head making him paranoid and switch between stopping halfway to the door and actually walking up to the door.

What if it was Spider-Man and he needed Tony’s help again? No, Spider-Man would have come through the balcony, he wouldn’t be knocking on the front door.

What if it’s Pepper? What if Rhodey is in trouble? No, Pepper wouldn’t come here and Rhodey still isn’t comfortable being out in public.

What if it’s one of the Avengers? What if they found him? What if Ross found out about him and what he did? About what he used to do?

Taking a deep breath in and steeling himself, Tony finally managed to push his body the rest of the way to the door, swinging it open.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was standing there in street clothes this time, holding his left arm in his hand.

“So, I, uh, I broke my arm.” Spider-Man greets as if the way his arm was limply laying wasn’t obvious enough.

“Yeah. I can see that.” Tony dryly says, still trying to internally calm down his racing heart now that he knew there was no threat. Tony stepped aside and waved Spider-Man in. “Come in, Spider-Kid. Let’s see what I can do.”

Spider-Man slowly shuffled inside, awkwardly walking over to the couch and practically collapsing once he reached it. Tony watched as Spider-Man’s breathing began to stagger, the adrenaline most likely draining from the kid now.

Tony gave the teen a sympathetic frown, gently taking his arm into his hands to look and feel where the break was and how bad it was.

“You’re gonna be okay, Bud. We just need to snap it in place. It looks like a clean break to me.” Tony tries to reassure. Tony continued to look all over the teen’s arm, trying to remember everything he learned about snapping a bone back into place.

It didn’t look like there was too much fluid building up, it wasn’t bleeding, and the bone wasn’t poking at the skin so it should just be a simple snap-it-in type deal.

“Ready?” Tony asks once he’s done analyzing everything.

“No?” Spider-Man hesitates, making a grin slip out of Tony.

“That’s the spirit,” Tony says, and that was the only warning Spider-Man got before Tony was snapping his arm into place.

Almost instantly, Spider-Man began to scream through his teeth, making Tony snap into action.

“I’m going to get you some water, just take it easy, Kid,” Tony says over Spider-Man’s deep breathing, quickly getting up and getting the kid a glass of water from the kitchen.

When Tony came out, the kid’s eyes were still closed, but his breathing was coming in short pants. Recognizing when a panic attack is about to start, Tony practically ran the rest of the way over to the teen and grabbed a hold of the teen’s chin so he had no choice but to look at Tony.

“Hey. Look at me. Breathe, one two three.” Tony begins to coach, smiling softly when Spider-Man followed his instructions, “There you go. You’re right here. Don’t go anywhere else. You’re right here.” Tony continues to soothe.

Spider-Man just stared into Tony’s eyes while he tried to calm him down, almost as if he would float away again if he looked away. Almost as if Tony’s intense gaze was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.

Spider-Man’s breathing soon began to slow down, the teen eventually able to take in a long slow breath.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, his eyes slowly fluttering shut now that all of his adrenaline truly was gone.

“You can kick everyone’s ass except your own brains sometimes.” Tony sighs sadly.

“You get them too?” Spider-Man blurts out. All Tony could really give in return was a tired look, before agreeing because even just the thought of his almost daily panic attacks was enough to suck the energy out of him.

“Yeah.”

“Did they… Did they get better, though?” Spider-Man hesitantly asks, almost as if he was scared to hear the answer. Which should have been enough to tell Tony to sugarcoat his answer, but sometimes his brain and his mouth aren’t wired together.

“Not yet,” Tony says, being quick to amend his answer when he saw the teen’s face fall. “But that doesn’t mean anything for you, kid. You just keep working on it. And drink your water.” Tony instructs, smiling fondly when the teen did what he was told.

“You okay?” Tony asks after Spider-Man had a couple of sips and looked physically calmer.

“Yeah. I’m good. Promise.” Spider-Man honestly replies. Tony continued to stare at him for a little bit longer, debating on whether or not he should give the teen what he’s been working on recently.

“Well, are you ready for a surprise then?” Tony asks once he’s finally made his mind up.

“Surprise?”

“I made something for you. If you’re interested.” Tony clarifies, before grabbing the metal case that held Tony’s recent project.

“Really?” Spider-Man shouts excitedly, sitting up straighter on the couch before he begins to remember himself and quickly protests the gift. “Wait. You can’t give me anything! That’s-That’s too much!”

“Hush, child. Children should be seen, not heard.” Tony quiets, not really wanting to go through a whole song and dance just to get the kid to accept the case.

“Excuse you.” Spider-Man gasps dramatically, making Tony smirk before tossing the case onto the couch cushion next to the vigilante.

“Go on, open it.” Tony permits, trying to hold back his chuckle when Spider-Man just gave Tony a firmly disappointed look.

Despite being "displeased" with it all, Spider-Man still pulled the case into his lap eagerly, quickly opening up the top of the case.

As soon as the red suit inside popped up, along with all of the semantics that were surrounding it, Spider-Man gasped. The teen couldn’t take his eyes off of the suit, and when he did manage to look away, his eyes locked firmly onto Tony’s.

“Is this- Is this what I-” Spider-Man breathlessly stutters, Tony taking pity on the poor boy by cutting him off when it was clear that the teen’s brain had practically self-destructed.

“A brand-new, superhero-worthy Spider-Man suit, equipped with all sorts of anti-bad guy goodies? Probably.” Tony answers for the teen, a warm and proud feeling spreading through his chest when he saw the biggest grin form on Spider-Man’s face; although he made sure he didn’t show it, he refused to show his soft spot.

“Holy shit! This is so cool! This is literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life; oh my God! Ned is going to flip!” Spider-Man gushes as he pulls the suit out and examines it.

“I just thought about you running around in your glorified sweats and I couldn’t sleep. So enjoy the suit, kid. It has its own AI and everything.” Tony nonchalantly says as if that wasn’t one of the biggest things to the teen.

“There’s an AI? Holy shit .”

“An AI who’ll - hopefully - help you be careful out there. She can help you navigate the city and deal with whatever shenanigans you get yourself into. The material of the suit itself should keep you - more or less - resistant to the kind of attacks you’ll be dealing with. It’s also fireproof, but I’d really prefer you didn’t go testing that out.” Tony begins listing off everything he put into the suit.

“Are you kidding? I’d never risk burning this. This is literally the best thing ever! I’m going to look so cool.” Spider-Man continues to gush making Tony snort at the teen’s clear excitement.

“Hell yeah, you are.”

Gently, almost as if he was going to destroy it then and there, Spider-Man folded the suit up and placed it back into the case, and closed it up.

“This is really awesome Mr. Stark and I really appreciate it but… are you sure? This must have taken a lot of time, and I don’t even know how much it cost-”

“It’s a multi-million dollar suit.” Tony interrupts, hoping that if he just quickly glossed over it, it won’t become a huge deal. “But I want you to have it,” Tony reassures.

“Did you say multi-million? As in more than one million? As in millions ?” Spider-Man gasps. “Mr. Stark, the most expensive thing I own is a forty-dollar sweater from this Star Wars merch site; and technically I got it on sale.” Spider-Man continues to breathlessly ramble.

Tony couldn’t help it when he threw his head back and laughed at the teen’s reaction. He’s never had someone react like that towards his work. The Avengers sure as hell weren’t even nearly half as impressed as Spider-Man was.

“Trust me, kid, I wouldn’t have made this for you if I didn’t think you deserved it.” Tony earnestly says, watching as Spider-Man stopped completely and widened his eyes, almost as if no one’s complimented him about this kind of thing.

Which, now that Tony thought about it, that was most likely the case. The teen probably hasn’t been told that he’s been doing a good job with everything for the same reason he comes to Tony’s apartment; because there’s no one else there to do it.

Tony once again decided that it was up to him to step into that role.

“I think you do good work, Underoos. And - more importantly - I think your hearts in the right place. With some more experience and some better tech, you’ll be able to do some amazing things.” Tony compliments. Spider-Man just blushed and ducked his head shyly in return, which managed to pull a fond smile out of Tony.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. That’s… That’s really nice of you to say.”

“You’ll be one of the greats one day, kid. No doubt about it.” Tony confidently says, making sure his tone of voice left no room for disbelief. It must have worked because Spider-Man cracked a small smile in return.

Then he whispered a sentence that made Tony’s entire body seize right up.

“Like Iron Man?”

So many thoughts and questions began to race through Tony’s head.

The first question was: did this kid know?

No. He couldn’t possibly know. No one but the people in his old life knew. No one from the public knew or even had close to an idea.

The next question was why in the hell did this kid look up to Iron Man of all heroes? Why did he have to think that Iron Man was what he should be living up to?

Didn’t this kid know that Iron Man is the reason Tony now has nothing? No friends, no girlfriend, no company, no one to live with but the dust bunnies in the corner of his apartment.

Of course, he couldn’t possibly know all that, but that wasn’t going to stop Tony from trying to persuade his thoughts otherwise.

“Mr. Stark?” A tiny voice breaks through all of Tony’s thoughts. Snapping his head up, Tony realized that he had gotten too far into his head and quickly shook himself out of it.

“Nothing, kid. I’d just… shoot higher than the tin can.”

“Are you crazy? You can’t shoot higher than Iron Man! Iron Man is Iron Man! He’s the best.” Spider-Man protests. Tony wasn’t sure what his face looked like right now, but he knew it had to be a look of disgust because Spider-Man just continued to ramble about the ex-hero.

“Hello! The battle of New York? He flew a nuke into a wormhole and then the Avengers closed the portal on him - which was totally uncool by the way - and he still came back anyway. And he defeated the Mandarin after all those bombings happened and then there was that whole thing with the terrorist in Afghanistan and stopping that guy from Stark Industries and rescuing-” And Tony couldn’t help but groaning and rubbing his face when Spider-Man stopped mid-sentence.

Because Tony knew - could pinpoint the exact moment one of his identities clicked inside the teen’s head.

“You're Tony Stark. Oh, my God. I’m in Tony Stark’s apartment,” Spider-Man gasps, “I bled on Tony Stark’s couch. Oh, my God. How did I miss that? Holy-”

“Are you done?” Tony interrupts the revelation, glaring at the - once again - rambling teen.

“No. No, I am not done. I can’t believe I didn’t reconsider you before. Oh, my God. You’re the CEO of Stark Industries.” Spider-Man continues to freak out.

“Ex-CEO” Tony corrects, rubbing his temples to try and stave off an oncoming migraine.

“What?”

“I gave it to my old assistant Pepper. She’s better at it anyway. I told you, I’m just an over-glorified mechanic now.” Tony explains, causing Spider-Man to sputter in return.

“B-But why? You were the most famous inventor of all time until you just… disappeared.”

“If you think fame and notoriety are still the most important things in the world, you’ve got some growing up to do, kid.” Tony lecture. Although it wasn’t a very strong lecture with how tired and done with it all Tony sounded.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way I just… I go to a super nerdy school and I’ve been into tech my whole life. So, I - uhh - I totally followed your whole career when I was younger. It’s why I like Iron Man, too. He made himself into a hero, you know? He saw that things needed to change and so he changed them himself." Spider-Man explains.

Tony just stood there and stared at the teen, trying to process everything he was just told.

Tony had to keep reminding himself that Spider-Man didn't know; that no one knew. No one knew about his secret identity and that it was just a coincidence that Spider-Man happened to look up to Tony and his alter-ego.

That didn't make it any better, though.

Tony hated the fact that Spider-Man looked up to them. That he wanted to be like them. The kid needed to shoot higher for something, needed a better role model than Tony and Iron Man. Which was the conflicting part because this kid really needed a mentor and the only "hero" he just so happened to stumble upon was Tony.  

"I'm not the kind of guy you want to look up to, kid. Neither is Shellhead. Trust me." Tony voices out loud before turning and walking away. He figured the kid knew his way out himself. "Enjoy the suit."

*   *   *

It was until later that night when Tony's hunger got the better of him and he figured that Spider-Man had left a while ago and it was safe for him to that Tony left his workshop and came back out into the living room.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was gone when Tony reached the living room, and the only sign that the vigilante was in his home in the first place was the note sitting on his coffee table.

I think you're selling yourself short ex-CEO or not - Peter Parker

(Now you know my secret identity too. I only thought it was fair)

Tony didn't quite know what to do with that, but if Tony ripped the first part of the note off and kept it in his desk drawer - well - no one had to know.

*   *   *

It was another couple of weeks and, once again, there was no word from Spider-Man.

No, not Spider-Man. Peter Parker.

Almost as soon as Tony got his name, he went back down into his workshop and began researching anything he could find on the kid.

He found out that he went to Midtown, which in itself was pretty impressive, but he even managed to find all of the teen's robotics and decathlon awards, and his grades and GPA.

Okay, well, Tony didn't happen to stumble onto all of that, he probably did a little bit more hacking than he should have, but he was curious. Sue him.

Although the straight-A's and 4.0 really explain a lot about how Peter was able to get around doing all of this hero-ing and how he was able to go for so long without the proper resources. The kid was smart.

But, Tony also found some not-so-fun stuff. Like three specific death certificates.

He wasn't so shocked to find the death certificate of Ben Parker since Peter had already brought his Uncle up, but he was shocked to find death certificates for Richard and Mary Parker.

Something tight settled into Tony's chest when he found those and realized that the teen was an orphan just like he was; albeit a little younger.

After that, Tony stopped his stalking background check and decided that he would get the rest of whatever information from Peter himself.

Two days after he started his research, another knock came from Tony's front door.

Once again, Tony couldn't help but be paranoid at the sound, but quickly forced himself to relax when he reminded himself that the only person who comes to visit him is the Spider-Kid.

Sure enough, when Tony opened up the door, Peter was standing on the other side of the door, holding up a bag of cheeseburgers in one hand and a bag with a bunch of drinks and snacks in the other.

"There better not be mushrooms in that thing," Tony says in lieu of a greeting.  

"Excuse you. This is an all-American cheeseburger. There's lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, meat, and cheese and that's that." Peter scoffs.

"I've never respected you more, honestly," Tony says as he widens the door and steps aside so Peter could walk on in.

The teen gave him a big grin in return as he made his way into the apartment, quickly settling onto the couch like he had been coming over for years. Which considering the kid only really comes over when he's severely injured, Tony is beginning to feel like he's aged a few years.

After the kid hands out the food to both him and Tony, he began to make his way into the kitchen and pour them both a glass of water.

Tony couldn't help but watch with amusement, kind of shock, and touched at the same time that Peter was no longer afraid to make himself at home. Maybe it means the kid is going to start coming around more so Tony doesn't have to constantly worry about whether or not he's dead in an alleyway.  

Almost as soon as Peter set down the glasses of water, he was sitting down next to Tony and practically inhaling his burger.

"So good. A-plus. Really made the robbery worth it." Peter talks around the bite of burger in his mouth, completely missing the incredulous and somewhat angry look Tony was giving him.

"You got these at a robbery?"

"When you see a Shake Shake being held up, you gotta intervene. And if the owner gives you free food as a thank you then," Peter shrugs as he sets his bottle of sprite down, "the friendly neighborhood Spier-Man would never be impolite enough to say no."

Tony couldn't help but huff and shake his head at the teen's antics and the audacity he had to actually look smug about it all.

"And we can't have that, can we?" Tony continues the light banter they have going.

"No, sir," Peter replies, both of them instantly laughing once they caught each other's eyes.

"So, fix anything today?" Peter asks as Tony settles down onto the couch right next to the teen.

"Neighbor downstairs had her car malfunction; took a look at that for her today. Nothing fancy. How's the suit.?" Tony quickly changes the subject, hating talking about himself more than he needed to. That usually led to very important - very secretive - stuff getting out by accident.

"It's incredible! Like, seriously, Mr. Stark. It's the coolest thing ever, and it works so well, and I've been getting so many compliments. Did you see me trending on Twitter? That was so cool!" Peter bursts out, almost as if he was holding all of that in until Tony said something.

"Yeah, I saw that. Might have contributed to a few on the conspiracy theories." Tony smiles the weird warmth in his chest once again spreading at the sight of the happy teen.

"Are you serious? Mr. Stark." Peter groans. Tony had to try and choke down his laugh at the sight.

"My personal favorite was 'Spider-Man steal Daredevil's suit and cuts off horns'" Tony continues to tease, earning a whining type noise in return. "Hey, you'll grow. Probably."

"I retract my compliments effective immediately." Peter dryly says, making Tony give the kid another smirk.

"Sorry, no takebacks. Can't erase this memory." Tony says as he taps his temple before finally reaching for his weird robbery burger.

"Hey, Mr. Stark?" Peter hesitantly asks, gaining Tony's attention. "Why'd you sell your tower to the Avengers?" Peter asks once he was sure Tony was paying attention.

Which... that wasn't a question Tony was prepared to get asked.  

Tony stopped eating his burger and cleared his throat before actually answering. "They asked and I agreed. I was planning on moving SI operations anyway."

"So, it isn't true that you did some work for them?" Peter continues to question. Tony's heart instantly began to pound. He couldn't help but feel nervous as to where this line of questioning was about to go.

"Why do you say that?"

"Twitter." Peter shrugs before returning to his burger. And, of course, of course, Twitter would figure out viable information like that.

"You know, it's constantly surprising to me that more national secrets aren't revealed on the internet every day." Tony deadpans, causing Peter to gape at him.

"So you did?"

"I consulted on some of their tech. That's all. No biggie." Tony sighs, already knowing that Peter was going to make a huge deal about it and he was going to have to talk about it more than he already wants to.

"No biggie? It's a huge biggie! Did you work on their suits?" Peter rapidly questions, gasping when something dawned on him. "Is that how you were so good at mine? Did you work on the Iron Man armors?"

"Can't a man keep any secrets anymore?" Tony asks in the hope to be able to drop this conversation completely.

"Not if they involve the Avengers." Peter was quick to deny. All Tony could do was stare at this teen in annoyance.

What did this kid see in the Avengers that gave them all of his awe and respect?  Didn't he know that the avengers are some of the worst people out there? Apparently not, and tony was going to have to be the one to tell him.

"Why do you even care about the Avengers so much? Because I'm telling you, they're nothing to be fanboying about. They were dysfunctional, aggressive, and uncooperative. They preached about teamwork but were the first to turn on each other when the going got rough. And when things got bad, when people started dying because of their actions, they decided their own self-righteousness was way more important than the will of the entire world." Tony began to rant, getting so into finally being able to let out all the pent-up rage that he didn't even notice when Peter's face began to fall.

"They were called 'Earth's Greatest Defenders', but in the end, what did it all matter when everything that mattered to them disappeared. When even their so-called family didn't matter more to them than their pride." Tony finishes spitting down, Peter looking down at his lap with discomfort and hurt in his eyes.

"Just because they weren't perfect doesn't mean they weren't still great. Everyone has their bad side, but they still tried their best." Peter tries to defend, making Tony nod when he realized he was going to have to break this down and make Peter see his point.

"Okay, but what if what's right and wrong stopped being so simple? A guy starts a fight in the middle of the street; that's wrong. So you break it up. Easy right? Aliens invade the Earth. That wrong, right? So you defeated them." Tony waited until Peter showed he understand before continuing.

"But, what if, before they were defeated, you saw that you only got rid of one percent of the threat. That beyond them was something infinitely more terrifying just waiting for the perfect moment to attack. What if you knew that threat was imminent. What do you do?"

"You build your defense. You prepare." Peter confidently answers.

"But here's the thing; what lines do you cross to prepare? What boundaries do you have to set? The Avengers were a group of superpowered people thrown together without any foundation so when questions like those popped up, they didn't have enough faith in one another to resolve them without breaking apart. So, tell me then, what were they really thinking about? Their hearts? Or their pride?"

"The Avengers split up because of the Accord, didn't they?" Peter asks, slowly getting to the root of the real problem.

"The Accords were just the catalyst. In the end, it was betrayals on the inside that made them irreconcilable and what made half of them go into hiding and the other turn into fugitive still playing a vigilante on the down-low." Tony huffs before crumpling up the take-out bag in his hands, just to have something to do with them and to make his next admission easier.

"I've been around too many superheroes to be blind to the costs of it. And no one lost more than Iron Man."

"You know what happened to him?" Peter gasps. Tony just gave a wry smile as he nodded.

"He lost the love of his life, he lost his team, he was betrayed by his best friend, he lost everything until all he had left was a suit. But what purpose did that serve? When everything he fought for had slipped right through his fingers." Tony vents, trying as best as he could to reel in his emotions afterward.

"That's terrible," Peter whispers as he shrinks into the couch.

Tony doesn't really say anything after that, too shocked with how much better he felt. He finally feels like the tight knot that constantly sat in his chest has loosened; even if it was just the tiniest bit.

Tony hasn't once talked about everything that's happened. He's never brought up his and Pepper's breakup, what happened to him during the Accords, or even what happened after he went after Steve. No one knew.

Except now for this random-ass kid. And even though he thought it was about Iron Man and not Tony, having someone actually know and understand surprisingly helped Tony.

Maybe it was time for Tony to accept what had happened and call Rhodey.

"If you...," Peter tries to begin before clearing his throat and trying again, "if you hate superheroes so much, then why- why did you make me a suit?" The teen finally gets out. And for the first time since Peter began asking him about superheroes, Tony actually felt confident and sure of his answer.

"I've met a lot of heroes since my time with the Avengers. I've met magicians and aliens and enhanced, but I've never met anyone like you. If the Avengers had half the heart you did, I think the world would be a different place right now." Tony certainly says, giving a small and soft smile when he saw the teen blush under the blatant compliment.

"I'd given up on superheroes. I guess the jury's still out now, Peter."

"I don't know if I deserve that," Peter whispers, shaking his head.

"You want to be as good as Iron Man and I'm telling you you're better."

*   *   *

After that, it's like Tony can't get rid of Peter.

The teen quickly began to pop in weekly, just to check-in; or at least that's what he says it is.

And Tony would deny it to his last dying breath that he actually enjoyed the kid's presence. If anyone asked, he was annoyed every time but accepted it anyway. But secretly, deep down, he really did enjoy having Peter's company every week.

Tony hadn't realized how long he's been alone until he finally had someone to interact with.

Slowly but surely, Tony begins to learn a bit more about Peter and what makes him tick.

Peter lives with his Aunt currently; although she knows nothing about his "extracurricular" and he preferred to keep it that way. He had three really close friends -  Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, and Harry Osborn; let's just say Tony was a bit - read a lot - dramatic when he found out Peter was friends with an Osborn. He also found out that the kid was in tenth grade, which didn't help with the guilt Tony felt for actually encouraging Peter's behavior; although to make himself feel better, Tony just kept reminding himself that Peter was doing this way before he dropped into Tony's life, and if anything he was doing everyone a favor by helping out.

Taking everything into consideration, Peter seems to be a typical teenager. But there's still something behind the scenes, Tony's noticed.

There's always something a little lingering - wanting - behind Peter's eyes sometimes. Something a little dark behind all the shy looks Peter gives when Tony compliments or praises something good Peter has done.

Tony hates it - no one that young should look that haunted - and is officially deadset on making it all go away one day, or at least making it better and easier.

Currently, Tony was working on a project in his workshop, waiting for JARVIS to let him know when the teen got to the apartment.

By now, Peter is no longer shy about just waltzing into the apartment through the balcony door, and Tony has since stopped caring and learned to just leave it unlocked so the Spider-Kid could come in, but he still was working on something extremely delicate and the kid was too light-footed for Tony's liking.

The last thing Tony needed was for his location to be outed just because he got startled by a teenager and blew the whole building up.

'Sir, Spider-Man is requesting access.' JARVIS finally chimes in, the heads-up causing a small smile to form on Tony's face.

"Great! Tell him I'm waiting for him and let him in, J." Tony adjures while patting Dum-E on the head and taking the smoothie the bot was offering.

And Tony had tried to pay attention to when Peter walked into the lab, wanting to see the kid's eyes light up when he saw what had to of been a wet dream for the teen, but that was until Dum-E started trilling and trying to go after the smoothie he had just handed over.

"Don't you dare," Tony stops, holding a finger up to keep the bot in place. "Step away from the smoothie, Dum-E."

Dum-E just continued to chitter, nodding his head while Tony insistently shook his. "Nope, you already perfected it without the motor oil. That's overkill. You trying to kill your Dad?" Tony continues to argue with the bot.

"Aww Mr. Stark, he's just trying his best, aren't you?" Peter coos, alerting Tony to his presence.

"Hey, you, knock it off or you'll positively reinforce this nonsense." Tony scolds, although the overly-fond look he was giving took away most of the seriousness.

"You into chem now?" Peter asks once he gets over to the worktable Tony was at and looked through all the magnifying glasses.

"Actually, I'm trying to make exploding webbing for you," Tony announces, "but the process isn't going as smoothly as I thought," Tony admits. Peter on the other hand was practically bouncing out of his skin with excitement.

"Are you for real right now?"

"Realer than real, kid," Tony replies with faux seriousness.

"This is so crazy. I'm science-ing with Tony Stark. Ned's going to lose it." Peter continues to marvel.

Tony couldn't help but grin at the teen's excitement, handing him a pair of safety goggles. "How is he anyway? Has he gotten over dying from the suit?" Tony questions, making Peter snort.

"No way. He went on about that for weeks, but he's valid." Peter answers.

"And school? No trouble in minor paradise?" Tony continues to question, adding that as his contribution to the darkness in the kid's eyes for the day.

"No different than normal." Peter shrugs, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Tony.

"I take it 'normal' isn't usually slap your knee fantastic?" Tony aims for light-hearted.

"It's nothing. Just high school." Peter brushes off while fiddling with a screwdriver. That sad look was beginning to return in Peter's eyes, making Tony's mentor - not parental thank you very much, he didn't have any of those - instincts go haywire.

"You know," Tony begins, picking up a wrench and fiddling with that also, "I used to get bullied too when I was younger," Tony admits, figuring that this was what this was.

"No, you didn't." Peter denies, scrunching his face up in disbelief.

"Genius kid with a smart mouth and at least four years younger than everyone else in his classes? I'd be more surprised if I wasn't pushed around." Tony snorts.

"That sounds way worse. My thing really isn't a big deal." Peter defeatedly says.

"If it bothers you, then it's a big deal. Spill, kid." Tony genuinely says, poking Peter in the side with the wrench to try and get him to start talking.

"Honestly, Mr. Stark, it's nothing, it's just this kid... Flash," Peter finally begins to open up, "He's just mad that I 'stole' his spot on the Decathalon team and he thinks that making fun of me will make me leave or something, but it won't. But it doesn't make it any less sucky, and I thought that all the stupid stuff he said didn't bother me, but sometimes..." Peter trails off.

"You hear the stuff he says when you're already feeling kicked around?" Tony finishes for the teen, his voice sympathetic.

"Yeah. Exactly." Peter agrees, finally looking up at Tony.

"Yeah, that's the way that kinda stuff goes. No one's immune to thing like that, Pete, no matter how much we say we don't care." Tony says, and his point must be getting somewhat across because the teen looked back down at his lap, lip firmly tuck between his teeth.

"With that said though, everything that Flash kid told you? Automatically tossed in a trash can based purely on the fact that nothing a kid named Flash says can be accurate in any way." Tony teases to ease some of the tension in the room, smiling a bit when it seemed to work and got Peter to smirk. "Sorry not sorry, that's just a fact. It's all purely bullshit."

"But what if it's not." Peter blurts out, dropping his head right into his hands. And that - the fact that Peter believes some of the things this asshole says - that doesn't sit right with Tony.

"I guarantee non of the things he says about you are true. You said it yourself, he's jealous that you got something he didn't; and with a name like that, he's probably used to getting everything he's ever wanted his whole life, so the second it doesn't go his way, he throws a tantrum. It's not even about you. Not really. It's all about him and his own insecurities." Tony calmly rambles, wanting anything for this kid to realize his worth.

"Yeah, but it still sucks! It sucks, and I hate it, and I wish he'd just leave me alone!" Peter shouts, taking Tony back a bit. He's never heard Peter yell about something before, and Peter must have realized that because he instantly began apologizing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just- I'm just so frustrated. And I'm so over it, and I've never even done anything to him. And he just doesn't leave me alone."

"Hey, it's okay." Tony comforts, gently squeezing the teen's shoulder. "That guy's a jerk. Be upset. We can build a dummy right now and you can have at it after we tape his face on it." Tony continues to soothe.

"I don't think that'll help to be honest." Peter snorts.

The self-deprecating look in Peter's eye still lingered, sending thousands of alarms bell of in Tony's head telling him to fix it fix it fix it. Someone so good and kind-hearted shouldn't ever have this look, it killed Tony inside to see it. So, Tony did the only thing he knew how to do; he began to ramble.

"Peter, you fight crime as a hobby and still play Legos with your friends. You have a big heart and you're ridiculously smart. You're literally every parent's dream child and you're the only teenager in the world that's actually likable.  You're killing it on all fronts. And if you want me to go down to that asshole's house and scare him with some avengers tech, I'm game, but if you want to do cool science stuff he'll never be able to do in a million years, I'm game for that too."

"I'm the only teenager you know," Peter responds, the watery tone in his voice telling Tony that his point finally got across, but it was just better to focus on something else at the moment.

"Excuse you, I'm a well-connected man. I know teenagers. And they're all terrible." Tony jokes, taking the bait and allowing the subject to change.

"Except me." Peter points out, finally cracking a grin.

"Except you." Tony agrees, poking Peter in the forehead. "You're a cool kid, Peter Parker."

Peter just groaned and pushed Tony's hand away before arguing. "Do you know how uncool it is to be called cool by a senior citizen?"

"Banned. Blocked. Unfollowed." Tony says as soon as the forbidden "s-word" left Peter's mouth, pointing at the door.

Although, it was hard to be mad when the kid's infectious laugh rang throughout the walls of the lab.

*   *   *

It wasn't very often that Tony thanked his mind. Nine times out of ten his mind was betraying him and either sending him into a spiraling panic or into a spiraling depression; there really wasn't an in-between.

But every now and then, Tony's brain will supply him with an idea that he can't help but be grateful a million times over. Putting an AI into Peter's suit was one of those times.

At one-fifty-three in the morning, Tony got an alert from JARVIS, saying that Peter's AI in his Spider-Man suit was trying to reach him.

Tony quickly sat up in bed and demanded that JARVIS put her through.

"Karen?" Tony calls out, only slightly cringing at the random name Peter gave the AI.

'Mr. Stark, as per the baby monitor protocol I am to inform you that Peter's heart rate is currently at 148 beats per minute.' Karen informs, making Tony's heart sink at the news.

"What? Why? Is he hurt?" Tony questions, quickly hopping out of bed and putting clothes on.

'Peter currently is unharmed, although it appears that he's having what you would call a panic attack.' Karen informs, making Tony curse.

"Is he on his way here?"

'Yes, he is approximately thirty-eight seconds away.' Karen says, and sure enough, by the time Tony ran out to the living room, Peter was flipping onto the balcony.

Tony opened up the sliding glass door before Peter even had a chance to, hating the scene he saw before him. He hated that the kid had to go through all of this so young.

"Hey, kid." Tony lamely greets.

"Mr. Stark. I can't." Peter rasps. Tony just gives the kid a sympathetic smile before lightly placing his hand on Peter's arm.

"Yes, you can, but let's sit down first," Tony says, gently leading Peter over to the couch.

While Tony made sure the sliding door was just and the curtains were closed, Peter all but flopped on the couch and ripped his mask off of his face, gasping as if the thin material was suffocating him.

Before Tony could even get over to the teen and help him, Peter began to struggle out of his suit. The teen's jerky movements were doing nothing to help him though, instead, making the suit stick even more to his skin.

All it took was one swift tug, and the next thing they both knew, the suit was ripping clean in half.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Mr. Stark, I-I- the suit- your suit- I-" Peter began to gasp, Tony quickly brushing away his shock so he could walk in front of Peter. Honestly, the suit really was the least of his worries at the moment.

"Kid, hey, kid, listen to me." Tony tries to calm, grabbing Peter's face in both of his hands in an attempt to ground him.

"It's okay. You're okay. The suit's okay. Everything is okay." Tony firmly says. Peter just shook his head, effectively pulling it out of Tony's grasp. Tony's heart ached so deeply when he saw the tears pooling in the teen's eyes.

"No, it isn't. No, it isn't." Peter insists, dropping his head in his hands. "I messed up, Mr. Stark. I messed up really bad."

"Every single problem in the universe has a solution, Peter. We'll find it." Tony confidently says and his heart actually felt like it was shattering when he saw the tears begin to drip down Peter's wrists.

Figuring it was better to let Peter get it all out of his system and calm down before talking, Tony got up and made his way into the kitchen.

He started the usual tradition he and Peter had slowly developed, making sure a pot of coffee was beginning to brew and a kettle of water was boiling on the stove.

Once he was sure everything was being made, Tony went into his bedroom, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt for Peter to get changed in. They might be huge on the scrawny boy, but anything had to be better than sitting in his boxers.

Returning back to the living room, Tony exchanges Peter's suit for his clothes before heading right back to his lab. He looked over the suit while he walked, looking over the rip to see how bad it truly was.

He still honestly couldn't believe that the teen ripped it in half. It was defiantly going to take some fixing, but at least it'll keep Tony busy for a while.

"It's a quick fix. Trust me, the machine will sew it right back up." Tony reassures Peter about the suit once he heads back to the kitchen once again.

There wasn't a response, not that Tony was really expecting it, so Tony just made himself busy by making himself a cup of coffee and a hot chocolate up for Peter. He even made sure to add extra marshmallows in the cup along with some whipped cream, hoping that even the small gesture would be enough to help Peter feel better.

Tony took his familiar seat in the armchair across from the couch, holding out the mug of hot chocolate to Peter.

"It's not the suit that's bothering you, is it?" Tony guesses as Peter begins to take the offered mug.

No one said anything for a while, which was fine. Tony was more than happy to just sit there and wait for Peter to calm down and gather all of his thoughts. He just sat there and allowed the silence, occasionally turning his attention onto his coffee every now and then.

Eventually, Peter took a tentative sip of his hot chocolate - which Tony considered a huge win - before clearing his throat and whispering, "There was a fire today."

Tony just looked at him, making sure the teen knew he had his full attention.

"Karen told me about it and I went there as fast as I could, but when I- when I got there-" Peter continues, stopping to collect himself before he fell completely apart again, "the fire was- it was so big, Mr. Stark. It was- I'd never seen anything like that before and I just..." Peter trailed off.

"You froze." Tony finishes for the teen, having a hunch that was exactly what was happened. He's been there himself enough times to know for himself.

"Yeah, I froze. But then people were yelling and someone was screaming about their sister and I just- I just ran in there. And it was so smoky and everything was on fire and it was so hot, I thought I was going to die." Peter says, refusing to look up at Tony.

"And then I heard her screaming. And I tried to get up as fast as I could using the elevator shaft, but when I got to the third floor, I didn't- my senses were going haywire and I couldn't- it took me so long," Peter chokes, "when I found her-" Peter tried again, gasping and covering his mouth like he was trying to swallow the words back down. Tony just sat patiently, trying everything to hide his shattering heart from the teen; the last thing he needed was to make Peter feel guilty for something else he couldn't control.

"When I found her, she was on fire too." Peter finally gets out, the tears fully coming out along with the words. "She had passed out from the smoke and I just panicked. I was so scared- I didn't know what to do, but Karen just started listing off protocols and I rolled her in the carpet to put the fire out and then I grabbed onto her and I broke through the window, and I got her down, but her face-" Peter spits out all at once, almost as if once he got the words out he wasn't about to stop.

"She was my age, Mr. Stark. And now she has to go to school with burns all over her body because I couldn't get to her in time." Peter whimpers.

Tony just stared for a bit at Peter in awe. How could someone so small take on the guilt of the world? This kid was beating himself to a pulp because some girl now had scars. He didn't even care that without him there the girl wouldn't even be alive right now.

Tony couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't sit here and listen to this kid destroy himself anymore.

Slowly, Tony sat his coffee cup on the coffee table and made his way over to the couch. Almost as soon as Tony was sitting down next to Peter, he was pulling the teen on for a hug without even thinking.

For a second Peter just sat stock still in Tony's arms, making Tony think that maybe this wasn't the best idea. He's a grown man hugging some random teen and - yeah - maybe they've been getting closer lately, but he still was thirty-some years older; Peter probably thought he was some kind of creep.

But then Peter suddenly wrapped his arms around Tony tightly, burying his face into Tony's neck and officially breaking down.

Tony just held Peter in his arms, allowing him to get his grief out. The poor kid's shoulders trembled with how hard he was sobbing causing Tony to look up at the ceiling to make sure he didn't start crying with the kid.

He felt so helpless just sitting there while Peter was going through all this turmoil. The kid really deserved so much better and Tony had no idea how to give it to him.

Eventually, Peter's cries began to tamper off and his breathing began to slow, his body finally crashing from the lack of adrenaline and all the emotional distress he had just gone through.

"You saved that girl's life." Tony finally says once Peter's breathing settled enough for him to pay attention to what was being said. "If you hadn't been there, it would have been too late. You gave her a chance, Peter. Nothing in the world is more important than that." Tony earnestly says, wanting nothing more than to have his message get across.

Peter was at least hearing him because he tightens his arms around Tony once the words were floating out in the air.

"You did your best, kid. That's all you can ask from yourself." Tony continues to drill.

"But what if your best isn't good enough?" Peter wavers and - shit - wasn't that the million-dollar question? That was the same exact question Tony's been asking himself since Afghanistan.

Tony just took a deep breath and gave the answer that he wished everyone else would have given him when he asked the same thing.

"Then we keep on trying anyway."

*   *   *

"Where did the Avengers go?" Peter blurts out one night while they were working on web formulas together.

Tony didn't mean to, but he practically froze at the question. He's been trying not to freeze up every time Peter brought up the Avengers - because let's be honest, the teen is constantly talking about them - but usually Tony could tell when a conversation was steering over towards that subject.

He didn't even know what to do when Peter just blurted these kinds of questions out.

"No one knows. That's why it's called being in hiding, kid." Tony tries to brush off, forcing himself to relax and get back to work; although he was no longer focusing on the task at hand.

"You worked with them though - you know them - you don't have any idea?" Peter continues to push.

"If I had to put money on it, I'd say they were in Wakanda, but the hell if I know." Tony huffs, tugging his goggles off and tossing them onto the workbench.

"Thor's in Asgard, though; that I can tell you for sure. And Bruce..." Tony trails off as he thinks about his long-lost friend. As he thinks about the past two years without him, about where he could possibly be, if he was even still alive. He honestly missed him, even though he tried his best not to think about it too much since it always led to memories about them.

"Were you two friends?" Peter cuts through Tony's thoughts, making the scientist look back up at the teen. Tony just stared a bit before huffing, multiple memories of him and Bruce flashing through his mind.

"Yeah, we were. We worked on some projects together. It was fun." Tony says, giving the bare minimum of information like always. Except, like always, Peter continued to gush and talk about the subject.

"That's so cool! Dr. Banner is, like, the biggest expert on gamma radiation ever! That must've been crazy!" Peter practically drools over this bit of knowledge, slowly getting Tony excited about all the good memories he and Bruce had.

"He was really good at the tech stuff, too," Tony adds, his smile slowly growing as he continued to think back on his time with Bruce. "And he was really funny. He didn't mean to be half the time, but there was just something about him."

"Do you think that... do you think that any of them will ever come back?" Peter hesitantly asks, once again bringing up a question that Tony constantly thought about to himself.

Tony stopped to think about it for a second, about what it would be like if the Avengers came back. On one hand, it would be great to have a backup if that threat from above came down, but on the other hand, Tony knew they wouldn't be much help anyway; they would probably be too busy arguing with each other to even save a single person.

"I don't know. A part of me hopes they do, a part of me hopes they don't." Tony honestly answers before turning towards the teen. "Do you?"

"The world needs the Avengers, Mr. Stark. It always has." Peter replies without even needing to think about it.

A sick pit of dread began forming in Tony's stomach when he realized that this was probably the answer most people were going to have towards the Avengers. That, yeah, there were several thousand people who hate the Avenger's guts and everything the Avengers stood for, but there's also probably several thousand people who look up to the Avengers. Who's counting on the Avengers to be there when another threat attacks Earth; and none of them were to be found.

They were going to let several thousand people down once again. That was enough to make Tony want to run for the hills again.

"I think they'll come back." Peter confidently says, breaking Tony out of his downward spiral. "They're heroes. They're the heroes. If something happens, there's no way they can just sit back. That's not what heroes do."

"Not everyone who wears a suit is a hero, Pete. Pretty sure Captain America said that." Tony says, repeating the - unfortunately - familiar words.

"Well, then he doesn't know what he's talking about because the Avengers are heroes even without the suits. I know it." Peter firmly says, a silence falling on the two afterward.

The weird warm sensation was spreading in Tony's chest once again at the thought of Peter actually thinking Tony was something worthy of the hero title; even if he didn't actually know that he was inadvertently talking about Tony.

"And I don't know if I can do it alone. What if something big comes against and it's just... me?" Peter questions in a small voice, not even looking up at Tony. Tony was kind of glad, though, that Peter wasn't looking at him because he knew that he wouldn't be able to give the comforting look the teen was looking for.

He didn't want Peter to know the truth; that he was terrified of that exact situation happening.

"Then we'll figure it out." Tony eventually answers.

"We? No offense, Mr. Stark, but you being on the scene would just stress me out more." Peter huffs, and despite the matter of the subject Tony couldn't help but crack a small and knowing smile, finding the fact that he could be out there with Peter and the teen would have no idea amusing.

"You'd be surprised, Pete."

*   *   *

To say they were all surprised three months later when a gigantic spaceship appeared across the sky was an understatement. Well, Tony wasn't as surprised as he was terrified.

Tony was at work when he just felt a shift in the air. Dread was quickly filling up throughout his body until he could no longer ignore the paranoia and had to look outside.

As soon as he got outside, a ring of sparks began to form, making Tony jump back a bit; especially when a man began to walk out of the sparks.

"Tony Stark? I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me now." The man announces in a no-nonsense tone.  Tony just continued to stare at the man in complete shock, unsure of what the strangest part of this whole thing was; the fact that the guy's actual name was Strange, that he just walked through an actual portal or the fact that he was dressed in a tunic and cloak.

"Oh, uh, I know you're Iron Man, by the way." Doctor Stephen Strange adds as if that was going to make Tony want to go with him even more than before.

"I'm sorry, who the fuck are you, exactly?" Tony questions, his heart sinking at the idea of someone knowing his alter-ego.

"We need your help. It's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."

The next thing Tony knew, he and Bruce were being reunited, another wizard was telling him some messed up version of the big bang, and now they were fighting aliens in the park.

The threat - the threat - that Tony has been worrying over for almost ten years is here, and Tony really didn't know how to feel about it.

Part of him was relieved - the wait was over and he no longer had to live with the anxiety of guessing what day it was going to happen - and part of him wanted to throw up and keel over because the wait was over - it was here. Everything Tony has been preparing for was finally happening.

All of a sudden, one of the big aliens with a hammer knocked Tony out of the air, slamming him to the ground and getting ready to bash his armor in. Tony made sure to turn his back to the gigantic hammer, hoping that would help with the blow a bit, but the blow never came.

Tony quickly whipped around, trying to see what stopped the alien, sighing a bit when he saw Peter clad in his Spider-Man suit, holding the alien's hammer back.

Tony doesn't even know why he was shocked about the fact that Peter was out there to help, they've literally had discussions about Peter helping against the next threat and his fear of not being enough.

Tony just hates that Peter has to get roped up into something so big at so young.

"Iron man?" Peter whispers in shock once he turned around and actually saw who it was that he saved.

"No time for intros, Kid," Tony says, pushing Peter out of the way of where the alien's arm was swinging.

"Y-Yeah! Of course!" Peter agrees, webbing the alien up so Tony could blast him with his repulsors.

"What's this guy's problem?" Peter questions.

"There's a wizard with a very important necklace and these guys wanna steal it." Tony dryly replies, watching as Peter got flung by a well-timed punch. Before Tony could even react completely and make sure the teen was okay, Strange was zooming past them completely unconscious and on a slab of floating concrete.

"Kid, that's the wizard. I'm going to need you to grab him, can you do that?" Tony instructs, still trying to focus and destroy the stupid alien in front of him.

"Yeah! On it! I won't let you down!" Peter assures, quickly swinging off after Strange.

Tony continued to blast the alien with his repulsors, getting more and more frustrated as time continued and he wasn't any closer to defeating the damn creature.

"Mr. Iron Man, sir? I-I'm being beamed up!" Peter calls after a bit, shooting fear all throughout Tony's body.

"Hang on, kid! I'm coming." Tony promises, zapping a statue in half, hoping that it falls on the alien would be enough to knock it out.

Thankfully, sensing the urgency, Strange's sidekick sucked the alien into a portal to some other place, giving Tony the chance to blast off in the air and chase Peter.

"Mr. Iron Man? I don't- I can't breathe." Tony hears Peter gasps, the fear building the higher they went. The last thing he needed was for the ship to go too far up into the atmosphere; his suit still could only fly up so far no matter how much he worked on it.

"It's the air, it's thinning out," Tony explains, mostly to remind himself that something needed to be done right then and there. "You gotta let go, Pete. I'll catch you." Tony says as a last resort.

Tony knew as soon as he said Peter's name, the kid would put two and two together, but he couldn't find it in him to care as he continued to push his suit to its limits.

"Mr... Stark?" Peter wheezes out before falling off the side of the ship. As soon as Tony saw that Peter was falling he commanded JARVIS to let loose the nanite Spider-Man suit he's been working on for the past couple of months.

Tony didn't let himself even breathe until he saw the nanites wrap around Peter and the teen was laying safely in Tony's arms.  

"I got you." Tony breathes out, quickly flying them and landing back safely on the spaceship. Figuring that the jig was up, tony flipped his faceplate up and began looking Peter all over to make sure he was okay.

"Kid, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Me? What about you? You're-You're Iron Man! You've been Iron Man this whole time and you never told me!" Peter accuses causing shame and guilt to wash over Tony. He never wanted to lie to the kid, but admitting who he really was just wasn't in the cards at the time.

"I know, and we can talk about it later. But, right now, I have to go grab Strange and you need to go home." Tony sternly says, making sure there was no room in his tone for arguing. Not that that ever stopped Peter.

"No way! I can't leave you here. I-"

"You've done enough, kid. And I can't let anything happen to you." Tony says as he ruffles Peter's hair before pulling away. "JARVIS?" Tony calls out, and before Peter could continue to protest, a parachute is bursting out of the back of his suit, causing him to fly backward and back to the ground.

Once he was sure that Peter was gone and wasn't going to head up to space with them, Tony turned back to the wall of the spaceship and began lasering a hole that he could get through.

Tony quickly began walking all around the spaceship, eventually finding the middle of it where Strange was. The weird Squidward-looking alien was ranting about the stone around Strange's neck, pushing sharp crystals into Strange's skin.

Tony's attention was ripped off of Strange when he felt a tapping on his shoulder, making him whip around and get his repulsor ready. Tony sighed a bit when he saw that it was only Strange's cloak from before, but it didn't do much to settle him. Especially when a familiar Spider-Kid began to slowly drop down in front of his face.

"Peter? What the hell are you doing here?" Tony all but screams.

The reality of the situation quickly began to sink in, leaving Tony breathless. Peter was here. On this spaceship. That was currently in space.

There is no going home after this, this is it. Tony was fully ready to die up in space, seeing this fight to the very end whether he makes it out alive or not. But everything changes with Peter here. He couldn't prepare to die when he has an actual child to look out for and make sure he gets back to earth safely.

"I couldn't just leave you! How could I do that?" Peter basically cries, giving Tony a pleading look; although Tony wasn't going to give in to it.

"Peter, this isn't a trip to Coney Island. This is a one-way ticket, and now you're-"

"This is a fight for the world. That's why you're here, aren't you?" Peter continues to push, making all of the emotions that were brewing inside of Tony bubble over.

"I'm here for you. I'm here because I've known this day was coming for years and it's been taunting me in the back of my mind for ages, and when Bruce and Strange found me I knew I had to do something, but I also knew that it couldn't be you." Tony rants, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath in, trying not to blow up too much at the kid. "You've been talking so much about being worried about doing things on your own, and I knew if you saw this ship, you'd come running. And I couldn't let that happen. But, now you're here anyway and this is just another prime example of me being a Class A screw-up."

"I thought I'd given you this whole hero shtick, you know. After everything happened with Steve and the others, I couldn't do it anymore. And, now, I finally feel like I have a reason to put this suit on and believe in something and now you're here risking your life, and do you see how this is a problem?" Tony stresses, needing Peter to see it realistically instead of having his hero-complex clouding his judgment.

"Mr. Stark," Peter begins, his expression faltering as he tries to hold it together long enough to get his point across to Tony, "that's how I feel about your life too, you know. And I know you want to protect me, but who's going to protect you?"

And, damn, what was Tony supposed to say to that?

He was so far from being used to having a team that actually wanted to have each other's backs instead of every man or themselves. If he had someone this determined on his team, including Strange - who was also extremely stubborn - maybe this could work. Tony would just keep as close of an eye as he could possibly have on Peter.

Anything to get the kid back home to his Aunt after all of this.

After a few moments, Tony relented, pulling Peter close and brainstorming a plan with the teen to get Strange free. For once, the kid's pop culture references were coming in handy, because they were able to suck the alien out through the wall and save Strange.

Now they were on an express route to Titan. A whole 'nother fucking planet. With Peter right by Tony's side.

This is going to be a shitshow. That was all that went through Tony's mind on a loop until a few hours later when Peter finally nudged him in the shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me you were Iron Man?" Peter finally asks the question Tony was preparing for since they got on this stupid ship.

"I was done with it. I tried to save the world and it cost everything. So I tried to run." Tony admits.

"But if you hated superheroes so much, why did you help me?" Peter asks in a tiny voice, making Tony's heartache once again over the fact that the teen still didn't understand what Tony saw in him. As if Tony hasn't been trying to drill it in the past couple of months.

"Because you're someone who deserves the title." Tony smiles, figuring It was time to tell Peter the truth of how he knew about Spider-Man before even meeting him.

"I'd been looking into you before you crashed into my window. I keep tabs on all the new heroes that crop up, just to make sure they're coloring between the lines, so to speak. I guess maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better like the world wasn't going to die without us punching our way through all our problems. I felt like the city was in good hands, and then I met you, and I knew it was." Tony says, sparing a glance at Peter and having to look away when it looked like the kid was about to start crying.

"The Avengers disappeared because of all sorts of reasons. Thor left to find infinity stones, Bruce ran away because he was afraid of the 'monster' inside of him, Natasha needed a family and I wasn't enough, Clint broke the law, and Steve and I lost all trust so he left and took everyone with him. And when they left, I couldn't look at the suit anymore." Tony continues to word-vomit, finally catching Peter's eye.

"I lost sight of what made me put it on in the first place until you came in. The world is in danger and I can stop it. So I have to do something about it." Tony can't stop the smirk from tugging on the corners of his lips after that bit. "Sound familiar?"

Peter just gave a watery smile in return. "A little."

"I've always been better when I have someone to fight for. I want to protect the world, but I also want to protect you from all this," Tony waves his hand towards the window that showed nothing but empty space, "you don't deserve to be here, Peter. You should be out living teen life, worrying about Spanish tests and girls, and I'm going to make sure you go home to it." Tony promises.

And even though it was a gigantic promise, Tony was willing to give his life to see it through.

"We'll both go home." Peter firmly says, his tone of voice leaving no room for argument. "Because we both deserve it. And I'm sorry about everything that happened with the Avengers, but I'm not going to go anywhere. It's my turn to be there for you now Mr. Stark."

And what the hell was Tony supposed to say to that?

All Tony could do was ruffle Peter's hair and try to push aside his breaking heart with only one thought running through his brain.

I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to.  

*   *   *

Just being on Titan was enough to have the hair on Tony's body standing on end. Just the reminder that they were in space, that this is the same place Tony saw in his nightmares, was enough to have his anxiety through the roof, but the dread in his body only got worse when Thanos arrived.

The mad titan was exactly that; mad. Almost as soon as Thanos landed on the planet, he was raving about his lost home on the same planet they were standing on; although Tony couldn't care enough to listen to his whole "tragic backstory villain spiel" and apparently neither could everyone else because Stephen was quickly rising with magic swirling around his hands.

Taking that as his cue, Tony blasted off in the air, throwing an entire metal column right on top of Thnaos' head. In retaliation, Thanos began to attack Tony with thousands of black projectiles, which was apparently enough to fuel Peter's fury because the teen began to launch webs into the mad titan's eyes.

Tony tried everything he could while everyone else began to fight to keep an eye on Peter and make sure the teen wasn't getting too deep into the fight. He didn't want to get in the middle of what Peter was doing so he didn't accidentally get him hurt, but it was impossible not to step in once Thanos grabbed the teen by the throat and crushed him into the ground.

Tony instantly saw red and was no longer accountable for his actions. He quickly began to blast Thanos, throwing a bunch of explosives all around him, seething, even more, when he threw Peter away like he was nothing.

Thanos used one of the stones to redirect all of the explosives back at Tony, causing Peter to get amped up once again and run back over to where they were. The teen webbed up Thanos' gauntlet to limit his use of the stones, once again getting thrown to the side.

Tony grabbed a huge chunk of the spaceship and threw it right in Thanos, causing him to tumble to the ground.

Once everyone realized this was the exact moment they needed, they jumped right into action. Strange wrapped the gauntlet up in his magic, Quill threw in a device that pulls Thanos' other hand apart so both his arms were spread out, and Peter began to web up Thanos' chest to try and keep him down.

As soon as Tony was sure Thanos was under control, he flew down and grabbed onto the gauntlet, fully ready to begin yanking on it.

"Sleep." Mantis commands after sitting on Thanos' shoulders, holding her fingers over his temples to make him fall into the trance.

"Peter, get over here. We gotta be quick, she can't hold him much longer." Tony instructs once Thanos for sure stopped resisting it all. Peter dropped his webs and ran over to where Tony was, both of them pulling on the gauntlet with all of their strength.

"Not so strong now, are you?" Quill gloats as he begins walking up to everything, making Tony roll his eyes.

"Alright, toot your own horn later, space-boy, come help us pull this thing off." Tony grits, the gauntlet still only moving an inch off of Thanos' hand.

"He has my girlfriend, I want to know where she is," Quill explains, making Tony's frustration reach its boiling point.

"He won't be answering anything right now, the second we have this thing, though, you'll be able to as him whatever you want. Come on, already!" Tony screams, knowing if something didn't happen right now, this whole plan was going down the drain.

"Quill, I can't hold on much longer." Mantis gasps.

Finally realizing that he needed to give it up, Quill clenched his teeth and reluctantly began helping Tony and Peter yank on the gauntlet. It slowly began to move further, but Tony knew he was going to need a bit more manpower to get it completely off.

"Hey! Blue!" Tony shouts, gaining Nebula's attention. "Wanna help out?" Tony rhetorically asks.

Nebula quickly got the message and ran over to them, helping them all give one last pull. The gauntlet finally came off, causing all four of them to go flying backward.

For a while, Tony just laid on the ground with the gauntlet wrapped firmly in his arms, just trying to process what had exactly happened.

"We did it," Tony whispers in disbelief, "holy shit.

The victory was short-lived, though, because Strange's voice quickly rang through. "Stark! We can't let him get hold of it again."

Knowing exactly what Strange was telling him, Tony got up on his feet and chucked the gauntlet up in the air, grabbing Thanos' hand to help hold him down afterward. Strange didn't waste any time to fly forward and grab the gauntlet; disappearing in sparks of orange once it was all in his clutch.

For a moment, nothing happens. No one really dares to move, trying to figure out if they really did it or not; if it really was that easy.

Tony was looking over his shoulder when it happened - when Quill began to question Thanos once again about his girlfriend - looking Peter up and down just to reassure himself that Peter was still there with him and that he was successful in keeping the teen safe-ish.

All of a sudden, a fight begins to break out, Tony turning back around to see Quill and Drax shooting their guns to try and stave off Thanos' fury.

Thanos - having realized that his gauntlet was now gone - was going on a rampage, tossing everyone who tried to attack him away like they were nearly a piece of paper. He even managed to throw Mantis directly into the ground so hard that the gravel underneath her splintered.

"Stay back, Peter. I mean it." Tony sternly commands. He spent all day making sure the teen made it out of this alive, he wasn't going to risk everything now that they were so close to being sone with all of this.

Tony had his faceplate materialize back over his face, taking a deep breath before going in on Thanos.

Tony made the ovular knife he built within the suit appear out of his wrist, slashing at the mad titan before him. While he was doing that, Tony made all of the missiles loaded in his back shoot at Thanos so he wouldn't be aware of the rest of the attacks coming his way.

Taking Thanos' confusion as his opportunity, Tony threw a souped-up widow's bite at Thanos, making him crumble to his knees. Tony didn't waste time in punching Thano's through some of the rocks there, creating a punching match between the two of them.

Eventually, Tony was able to get a strong enough hit in, sending Thanos to the ground right in front of Nebula. The poor, blue girl didn't even hesitate before taking her sword and stabbing her father clean through his heart, and ending the fight once and for all.

Tony loomed over the purple body, panting and trying to hold himself up now that the adrenaline was leaving him.

Before he could stumble to the ground, Peter was right there, holding him up and giving him a look of adoration and raw love.

"You did it, Mr. Stark. We did it." Peter says, and all Tony could do was pull the teen in for a tight hug and let out a short huff of disbelief.

They did it. It was officially over.

Tony's nightmare that has been living with him, breathing over him, controlling his life, for the past six years, was finally gone.

They did it.

"Yeah. We did." Tony breathes out, still shaking his head in disbelief. "We did it."

"Now let's go home."

*   *   *

Tony was in trouble almost as soon as he got back.

Rhodey and Happy were both waiting for him once he and Peter got back to his apartment, both men looking worried beyond belief.

Rhodey just lectured Tony about how stupid he was going into space alone and how worried they all were while Happy silently agreed and wrapped up all of Tony's injuries.

Rhodey was still lecturing Tony even after Happy finished bandaging him up, making the scientist huff and pull his oldest friend in for a hug. That managed to successfully stop Rhodey from berating him anymore and just left him thankful that Tony was there, alive in his arms.

Since everyone was a bit more settled, Tony was able to finally introduce Rhodey and Happy to Peter, only slightly regretting it when Rhodey pulled Tony to the side and demanded to know if Peter was his secret love child or not.

Eventually, everyone left, needing to get back to responsibilities that the battle only made worse, but Tony was a bit surprised when Peter came back the next day; he figured the kid's Aunt would want him to stay in the apartment for months on end considering he disappeared for the whole day of the battle.

Peter explained that there were quite a few people injured by all the flying debris, though, so his Aunt has been working overtime at the hospital trying to get everyone taken care of.

Of course, that sent Tony into overprotective dad mentor mode - despite him still being bandaged up on the couch - making sure that Peter was comfortable and had everything he needed; even though the kid was adamant that he was able to care for himself for a bit while his Aunt was gone and he only really wanted to check and see how Tony was.

Before they could really even get settled, though, Pepper was barging into the apartment completely unannounced.

Tony just stared at his ex-girlfriend, who stared back, confused about why she was there until she began to shake her head.

"You wonderful idiot." Pepper finally says, plopping down on the couch next to Tony and grabbing his hand.

"I'm so glad you're okay. When I heard about everything that was going on here I just knew that you were going to get involved with it and I just had to get on the next plane and come out here to see if you were okay." Pepper admits, stunning Tony into silence and prompting her to continue.

"I always knew you weren't going to stop until everything that was haunting you was taken care of, and as much as it killed me having to watch you constantly put yourself into the ring of fire, I'm so glad to be able to see you become the man I knew you always were," Pepper says, gently taking Tony's hand into hers.

"I'm so glad to see you be able to rest, now."

Tony wasn't even sure if he could say anything to that, his throat closing in response to all of Pepper's kind words and with the realization of how much he truly missed her presence.

It's not until later on in the day - several hours later when he and Pepper ran out of things to catch up on and Pepper had sent him to bed - that Tony realized Peter had left.

Although, Peter didn't allow too much time in-between for Tony to begin missing him, because the teen was back the very next day and was adamant about taking care of him.

"Kid, I'm fine, I promise." Tony exasperatedly says as Peter brings out an omelet and a cup of coffee made exactly how Tony liked it.

"Any more of this overbearing nonsense and I'll have to go find another bad guy's ass to kick." Tony threatens once Peter begins to change his bandages. Although, Peter must not have appreciated the faux threat because he glared right at tony as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Don't even joke," Peter says before settling down on the couch next to Tony, stiff as a board.

Tony just continued to stare at Peter, watching as the teen would glance at him before looking away and fighting his shirt, only to repeated the process.

"What?" Tony huffs.

"Nothing! It's nothing!" Peter tries to deny it, deflating a bit when he saw the unimpressed and unconvinced look on Tony's face.

"Okay, it's not nothing, but it's not a big deal," Peter relents a little, hunching in on himself as he asks his question. "I was just wondering if... if this means Iron Man's back."

Which, out of all of the questions Peter had about Iron Man, this was the easiest one for tony to answer.

"Yeah. I'm back." Tony replies without hesitation. "I used to think it was about the suit, that that was the special thing. The heroic thing. But it isn't. I am Iron Man, and I always will be." Tony honestly says, letting Peter in on what he was thinking about for the past couple of days.

Looking over at the teen, Tony saw Peter smiling so wide at the conformation that Tony was almost positive the kid's face would split in two. The reaction just made Tony huff and roll his eyes, fully ready to dismiss everything he had said.

"Plus, someone has to keep an eye out on you. I have a heart condition, you should know that by now." Tony teases, making Peter fake groan.

"Oh, my God, you just want to babysit me!" Peter pretends to complain, the happiness shining in his eyes giving his true feelings away.

"What can I say? You're a handful, Parker." Tony continues to tease, grabbing the cup of coffee Peter had made for him. "Sorry to cramp your style." Tony apologizes, despite not actually feeling sorry.

"Nah, you fit just right, Mr. Stark."

*   *   *

Two Months Later 

*   *   *

'Mr. Stark, it appears, Peter's vitals are entering dangerous levels.' Karen chimes in, making Tony put down his soldering iron.

"Pull up his vital readings for me, will ya, baby girl?" Tony asks, sighing when he read over Peter's vital signs. "Put him through for me, please, Karen."

"Hey, Mr. Stark!" Peter greets as soon as Karen connects them, trying to keep a smile on his face to convince Tony that he was alright.

"You can quit the charm, I see your oxygen levels decreasing by the second," Tony replies woodenly, completely unimpressed with the teen at the moment. Of course, Peter just continued to chuckle awkwardly, still trying to convince Tony that everything was hunky-dory.

"It's fine. Everything's fine! I'm just- you know - on the back of a helicopter. But it's chill! Haha, get it." Peter jokes, wincing when there was no response.

Finally, realizing that if Peter was already that far into it, he wasn't going to be able to let the whole mission go, Tony sighed.

"Bring 'em down, Spiderling, and then come over so I can check on you." Tony eventually relents.

"Yes! Okay! Gotcha!" Peter agrees, nodding so hard to show his understanding Tony was surprised his head didn't pop clean off.

"Be careful, kid," Tony warns.

"Always, Mr. Stark!"

Tony sat there for a second after the call ended, rubbing his face and letting all his worry flow out with the deep breath he released.

"Karen, connect with JARVIS and give me a live feed of the fight," Tony commands as he begins putting his tools away, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to focus on anything else other than making sure Peter was safe.

‘Will do!’ The A.I agrees, a holographic video popping up right after.

Tony didn't tear his eyes off of the video for even a second, watching every movement to make sure Peter was doing okay; he even had one of his suits on standby just in case Peter needed him to step in and help.

Once the fight seemed to be wearing down, Tony made his way out to the living room and began ordering some take-out, knowing for a fact that the spider-kid was going to be starving and attempting to eat him out of house and home if he didn't do so.

Timing it perfectly had Tony paying for the take-out just as Peter was coming in through the balcony.

"Is that Thai? Yes!" Peter cheers once Tony turns around, making the older man tut.

"Ah, ah, ah, first, injury report."

"I'm fine! Promise. Even ask Karen." Peter groans, Tony looking the kid up and down just to be sure.

"Fine, I'll believe you. But I will be checking later." Tony relents, only because he watched the video and didn't see anything too life-threatening occurred. "Now, go grab some plates; I'm starving."

"Where's Miss Pepper? She's usually home by now." Peter points out while doing what he was told.

"She has her hands full with the whole 'Iron man is revealed to be yours truly' thing." Tony frowns, shaking his head as he takes the offered plate. "I swear Stephen did it on purpose; dropping us in the middle of the city like that."

Peter just snorted before responding, "I really don't think that was what he was thinking about. I feel like it was more the infinity stones he had? The ones he had to scatter to keep the entire universe safe? Remember that?"

"Details." Tony brushes off as they began to dig into the food and pile their plates as high as they would go.

As they did so, Tony couldn't help but begin to think about everything. About every single little thing that he had now all because of one little thing.

How his biggest nightmare - the thing that constantly dictated every decision in his life - was finally over, how he and Pepper were finally able to talk things out and get back together, how he was happily Iron Man and people actually knew and were happy about it. How he was no longer so lonely that he had no idea how he was going to get by day by day. All because of one little thing.

All because some random ass kid from Queens broke into his apartment and almost bleed out on his couch.

Tony couldn't hold his laugh in at the realization even if he wanted to.

"What?" Peter questions, making Tony laugh even harder at the defensiveness in the teen's tone.

"Nothing. It's nothing. I'm just remembering that you broke into my place and then tried to offer to buy me a new couch."

"Hey! I was stabbed and I was tired and, in my defense, you have the same exact apartments!" Peter defends before looking back down at his plate and mumbling, "And I totally would've bought you a new couch."

Looking at the teen, Tony couldn't feel any more grateful than he did right there. Peter saved him in more ways than one and Tony was almost positive the kid had no idea about it; which didn't sit right with Tony.

"I was dying when you met me. I know I didn't look it, but deep down, where everything counted, I was a mess. But you inspired something in me, kid. And I think it's important you know that. I wasn't alright, and now," Tony gave the stunned teen a small smile, "well, I think I'm doing pretty okay."

Tony didn't even have time to prepare before Peter was launching himself at him and wrapping him in a tight hug.

"You changed my life, Mr. Stark. Even from way before I met you. And I never say it, but thanks for always being in my corner. You've never let me down. Ever. And you're the only- the only one who gets it. Really gets it, I mean." Peter rambles in return, Tony holding the teen as close as he could.

"Jesus, when did this get so mushy." Tony jokes. Just because everything else has changed and Tony was getting better, doesn't mean that he was getting better with feelings and emotions.

"Well, you started it." Peter laughs as he pulls away.

"Hush you. And hurry up and finish, I have a cool project in the workshop waiting." Tony dangles the offer, making Peter perk up instantly.

"Do we get to make things explode?"

"Of course we are. What do I look like to you, a heathen?" Tony replies as if suggesting any other type of project was completely preposterous.

"Okay! Okay! I'm almost done."

"God, finally. Then I'll get the hot chocolate started and-" Tony begins to say.

"-I'll make the coffee." Peter finishes, making Tony smile once again.

Later on in the day, when they've made enough explosives to blow NATO out of the water, Peter decided that them actually managing to get a couple of lines of code written was a good stopping point.

Tony watched as the kid began to put on his backpack, deciding that it was now or never to give him the envelope he's been holding onto for weeks now.

Peter just stares at Tony curiously, which meant that Tony got to see the exact moment what was in the envelope clicked in Peter's head.

Peter quickly began to rip the envelope open, sucking in a quick breath of air when he pulled out a key.

"I figure it was time to stop breaking in whenever you want to come over. Consider this an official open-door invitation." Tony shrugs, hoping that if he remained nonchalant Peter won't make it a gigantic deal.

"Mr. Stark, that's-"

Tony instantly held up a finger to stop Peter from finishing his sentence, knowing exactly what the teen was about to say. "If you say it's too much I might have to throw out all your hot chocolate."

Peter just laughed at the fake threat, knowing Tony wouldn't even try to do anything of the sort. "You wouldn't. But what I was going to say before you just assumed you knew everything was finally. Scaling the building every time was getting really lame."

"You know what, I take it back. Give it here, Parker." Tony teases, pretending to hold his hand out expectantly. In return, Peter let out a cackle as he jumped away from Tony, practically booking it out of the lab.

"No take-backs!" Peter yells, turning back around right before walking out the door completely. "And I'm coming over early on Tuesday to help you with your dinner party thing, don't forget!" Peter reminds.

"Well it doesn't matter, does it? Just let yourself in." Tony says, his chest warming at the smile the teen gave him in return as he left Tony alone once again in his workshop.

For several years, Tony had been alone. He knew he was going to be alone the day he decided to disappear and to run away from all of his problems until they all eventually caught up to him. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart.

But now, as he stood there all alone in his workshop, for the first time in a very long time, Tony felt anything but.

Tag List: @spideyspeaches @lost-lunar-wolf @joyful-soul-collector @i-love-my-selfinserts @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

For the “everyone who died is able to wake up” sdra2 au, could you do headcanons of the characters who died reuniting with their s/o who made it to the end? If all the dead characters is too much, you can choose who to do, but if you decide to do Shinji, since he has teenage children, maybe you could include them being there too?

I can do all of them! I think the Void members are the same age outside the simulation so I’ll just leave them at that.

Obvious major spoilers! This took forever to write whew

.........

Yuri

Realizing that you saw each other as high schoolers was quite strange. But now you remembered why Yuri became so attached to you the moment you met on the island.

Everyone who woke up was shook upon seeing how tall and muscular he actually was. But you were just happy to see your boyfriend alive and well.

You tell him everything that’s happened, and he’s understandably bitter about Hajime killing him (you had to distract him with a kiss so he didn’t actually punch him).

In time he decides to forgive the boxer...but only because you asked him to.

He feels guilty about letting Monocrow be used for the killing game. So to ensure his work didn’t hurt anyone else, he destroyed all the data and blueprints associated with the bird.

The simulation reminded you of how short he was back then--and you’d tease him about it often (much to his embarrassment).

Hajime

Wakes up disoriented and confused, until he realizes he’s alive and back in the real world. Though he’s got a bit of a headache.

Then he sees you and smiles. “Were you waiting long?”

“Almost too long, you dumbass.” You just hug him tightly, grateful that his brain wasn’t fried to mush like you feared.

He has genuine regrets about siding with Mikado and offers to let you punch him if you wanted to. But you only give him a kiss and reassure him that’s all in the past.

Despite everything, he manages to joke about being turned into a doll, claiming it could be good merchandise to sell in the future. Though for now you both just wanna go home and recuperate from what happened.

Yep, he’s still got his healthy habits so he’ll be sure to take care of himself (and you, of course, since your mental health is just as important as your physical health).

Kokoro

Has the most nonchalant reaction. 

She feels unusually cold, but quickly claims it’s just an “after-effect” of the death she experienced in the program.

If anyone else was her s/o, they would’ve been angry and confused at her neutral reaction. But you’ve known her long enough to know she’s like this all the time. 

So you just smile and welcome her back, telling her you survived--like her younger self anticipated.

With both versions of Mikado gone, she isn’t exactly sure where to go with her research from here. But you convinced her to take a long break from her work.

She thought you’d be angry or at least disappointed that she contributed to the simulation’s creation, but you aren’t.

You didn’t have the heart to hate her, even though before that you resented her for using her daughter for human experiments.

Emma

Surprisingly calm...at first. She just acts like she woke up from a nap, relieved “this bad dream” was finally over.

But then she sees her hands--realizing she’s whole again and not some disgusting mess of flesh trapped in limbo--as you hold them and smile softly at her. “Welcome back to the land of the living, darling.”

Everything hits her all at once, and before you knew it, she was hugging you tightly and sobbing into your chest as she apologized for everything she did. 

She was scared she’d never see you again, worrying if you’d survive to the end (imagine her relief when you did).

You spend a bit of time comforting her, rubbing her back and reassuring her she was finally free of Mikado’s influence.

You’re close to tears yourself--seeing her slaughtered by horror movie monsters was a grim execution you wouldn’t forget easily. 

And after coming home that’s one movie genre you both avoid for a while.

Setsuka

She wakes up feeling disappointed and some back/joint pain that she didn’t see through her mission till the end, but she’s happy to be back with you.

You practically throw yourself into her arms, relieved she was whole again and not just limbs scattered across a haunted house attraction.

If you decide to tell her about the circumstances regarding her death, she might be quite unnerved, at first, though she doesn’t resent Hibiki once you mention how she was basically a puppet during that time.

Her quick forgiveness would’ve been surprising, but you only expected that from her and just smile, giving her a kiss.

“You’re taking a few days off of work. I don’t care what Tsurugi says--you need it.”

“Alright, alright..fair enough...by the way, I’m still as cute as I was back then, right?” She chuckles.

Yep, that’s your sweetheart of a former billiards player alright.

Hibiki/Kanade

(I hc that Kanade’s serial killer backstory was all fabricated, and her obsession over Hibiki isn’t as extreme irl, but she still has some overprotectiveness).

When the twins wake up at the same time, they...honestly aren’t sure what to say to you--or each other for that matter.

Kanade was staring off into space, fully aware of the horrible things she said and did. Meanwhile Hibiki looked ready to yell at her as soon as she spoke. And you were just watching them nervously.

But then you’re surprised when the younger sister reaches over to hug you, starting to cry and apologize for everything. She could never see herself doing any of those things in real life...but she doesn’t expect any forgiveness right away.

To her shock, you forgave her--knowing that the Kanade in that simulation wasn’t your sweet and shy sweetheart. The real one you’ve known since forever was right here, feeling truly remorseful for things she never did.

It’s not long before Hibiki burst into tears too and oops now both of them are crying into your arms. 

But you didn’t care. What mattered was that the nightmare was finally over.

Shinji

Your teenage kids were brought to the location of the pods by the KF (as other living relatives of the kidnapped participants were), and they anxiously waited for you and Shinji to awaken.

The relief and joy you felt upon seeing their smiling, tearful faces was immensurable as they practically tackle-hugged you. But when they ask about their father, you decide they’re mature enough to know what happened--and so you explain that he made a sacrifice to protect everyone, including you.

They promise to wait for him, as they did for you...and man is that wait worth it when he awakens to see his beloved family.

It’s a very, very tearful reunion, but it was especially overwhelming for you, considering you still have the image of your husband’s burnt corpse fresh in your mind.

Shinji’s optimism never wavers, even after everything. He points out that the way you two have interacted in the simulation was similar to how you both met in real life during high school (minus the killings, of course).

You regrettably tell him what became of Yuki, but he just hopes the kid’s doing alright, wherever he may be.

Nikei

The moment he wakes up, he takes a few seconds to register three things: he’s alive, you’re alive, and his right hand is back. 

But before you can ask him how he’s feeling, a billion and one questions fly out of his mouth.

“Is it all over?? Is Mikado gone?!! What about Utsuro--??"

You do your best to calm him down and catch him up to speed, reassuring him Mikado is gone and won’t hurt him ever again.

Though now that he sees everyone alive and well--including Shinji and Void--he feels tense and awkward, wondering what the future holds now. But you take his right hand to divert his attention back to you.

He gets pretty choked up, realizing that he’s finally free and isn’t doomed forever and can actually go home with you. You just smile and hug him, repeating those reassurances.

Considering his breakdown in the trial where he got executed, you decide you’ll have a long chat about his insecurities when you two get home--with him being the interviewee.

Teruya

Rei and Tsurugi are with you when Teruya finally awakens. Though before he can even properly get out of the pod, you throw your arms around him and he doesn’t hesitate to embrace you back.

He’s already in tears himself, relieved when you tell him you survived.

“That’s good..I’m..I-I’m glad you made it out.”

“I would’ve liked to make it out with you, too, idiot.” You huff, remembering how he refused the antidote you tried giving him for the poison. 

He told you why he needed to die so you could escape with everyone. And it hurt him a lot to do that, but you forgive him..though only if he promises to never make a stupid sacrifice like that again.

You decide to leave out how you almost got executed by an incorrect vote. For a while you thought you could never avenge your boyfriend, but with Mikado finally gone..you were now satisfied.

He’ll need a few days off of work after what he’s been through. You already chewed out Tsurugi for calling Teruya a “diversion”, so he begrudgingly allows it.

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette: Iron Man’s Minion: Rising

Over 30 people sent me ask requesting a sequel. I usually don’t do sequels. Its messy and rarely as good as the first. Hoepfully, you like this.

           Tony just sighed at sight four kids and his robot picketing his workshop. Rhodey just looked overly pleased. The sun was had rose. He had just finished up for the day. Only to be met with… whatever the hell this was.

           Honestly, he hadn’t thought they were serious. At least he didn’t think Peter was serious. Peter was the sweet one; 90 percent of time, he followed Tony’s rules to the letter, never giving too much problems.

           …Harley, on the hand, liked to start shit.

“What we want?” Harley called again.

“No curfews!” The other three, Peter, Riri, and Marinette yelled.

           Riri liked to instigate.

           As for Marinette, Tony was certain at this point, she just wanted to see the world burn.

“When do we want it?!”

“Now!”

           Dummy beamed loudly. A little sign in his claw.

           Tony pinched his nose, “I swear to god, Harley.”

           Harley smirked, “He says our sugar intake should be limited. I say we want candy. I say Sugar High and Die.”

“Sugar high and Die!”

           Dummy beamed again.

           Tony glared at his firstborn, “You can’t even eat.”

“Unlimited lab access!”

“Yes!”

“Breakroom for Interns,” Harley sniped. “We are not Avengers. We shouldn’t have to share with Avengers.”

“Not my Pop tarts!” Riri shouted, a big grin on her face, framed by her wild dark curly locks.

           Marinette was having the time of her life, “Death to Baby monitor protocols!” Ever since it was revealed she was Ladybug, Tony put her on the same restrictions at the other teen Heroes. Karen watching her from her new, Stark approved, mask.

           The others went nuts. “Death to Baby monitor protocols!”

           Rhodey looked smug, “Karma.” He said easily. “For everything you ever put me through at MIT; you have to deal with four versions of yourself.”

           Tony narrowed his eyes, “Okay time for the big guns,” He spun around. “PEPPER!” He yelled. “Jarvis get Pepper.”

           The kids looked at each other and braced themselves.

“We will not go quietly into the night,” They all said together. “We will not vanish without a fight!”

“Oh my god,” Rhodey said, looking like a five-year-old on Christmas morning. “They’re doing the speech from Independence day!”

“We're going to live on!” The kids said, dummy beeping with them. “We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day

“PEPPER!” Tony screamed again.

           First thing, Tony said when the redhead arrived, “Pepper, the minions are revolting. Do something!”

“Well maybe if you didn’t call them minions,” Pepper suggested just looking so done with the world. She could just barely believe Jarvis when he told her the interns, and teen heroes, were protesting. “And why is Rhodey holding a sign?”

           Tony huffed, “The twerps called him Uncle Rhodey with those big puppy dogs’ eyes. And he went full traitor!” He explained. “Those things should be weaponized. Fix this!”

           Pepper sighed and walked to Harley, the one with the megaphone was usually the leader. She smiled, “Lets negotiate.” This would be easy and over quickly. They were just kids, messing with Tony.

           Marinette stepped forward, “Sure,” She smiled pleasantly. “After our lawyer gets here.”

“You’re what now?!!” Tony shouted.

           Pepper eyed the bluenette approvingly. “Bring it on!”

           Matt Murdock had no idea that when Spiderman called to ask him to his lawyer and defend his rights, that he was talking about Peter Parker’s rights as an intern. He was on the avengers’ roster and most knew he identity. Foggy was confused but elated to test his wits against the force that was Pepper Potts.

           The two lawyers sat across from Tony and Pepper. The kids and Rhodey, who Stark called traitor every time he spoke, sat beside them. They were in a conference room at a large table.

           Matt began, “Our clients have made their requests very clear. Most of which are easy to employ and some would say are their rights.

“Their minions,” Tony stated. “They don’t have rights.”

           Pepper placed a hand on his shoulder, “Never say that again,” She said slowly.

“All employee should have a breakroom,” Foggy stated. “Even interns. It’s non-negotiable.”

           Pepper nodded, “Agreed. They will be given their own breakroom; that Jarvis will ensure only fellow interns will have access to.”

“That means Tony can’t go in,” Peter laughed.

“You little shit!”

“Baby monitor protocols are too extreme,” Matt said.

Pepper pinched her nose. “As a hero yourself, Mr. Murdock, you must understand that we in good conscience cannot allow minors, even superpowered minors, to perform their heroics without proper supervision.”

Riri slammed her hands on the table, “I was a little late for curfew and you sent freaking Thor to track me down,” She said accusing to Tony, who looked completely unrepentant. “Thor. A god.”

“Alien,” Rhodey and Tony chimed.

“I snuck out one time,” Peter glared. “And the Avengers crash a house party.”

           Pepper winced. That had been a PR mess. “Tony will limit his use of GPS tracking provided all parties adhere to the rules and regulations they originally agreed to when they began their mentorship under Tony.”

“You mean when we sold our souls to the man,” Marinette snipped.

“The-The man?” Tony looked flabbergasted. “No! What?”

           The meeting went on for another thirty minutes. It was nearly adjourned when Pepper inquired if there was anything else.

           Marinette looked Tony dead in the eyes, “Karen no longer reports to you.”

           The other kids blinked in surprise before grinning.

           Tony leaned back in his seat, and nodded solemnly, “So its war you want.”

“Oh my god,” Pepper and Matt groaned.

           Foggy and Rhodey looked far too entertained for their own goods.

           Eventually it was agreed that Karen would report that if they were in any danger and agree to disclose if the young heroes were fine or not. Plus any messages they wanted to relay. Pepper didn’t budge on the candy issue; citing parents had enforced a healthy diet rule on the summer internships. Instead, the kids got a pool table to the breakroom and unlimited healthy snacks for the fridge provided at Stark Industries expense. But they would not dictate what the kids bought on their own.

           Marinette had been living at the tower for a month. One morning she decided to make herself her favorite dessert; chocolate and mint AND chocolate and raspberry macrons. She made little over a dozen and had left them in the fridge, a clear ‘Do not Touch’ sign on them.

           When she finished with Tony and the other interns for the day, Marinette washed up and rushed to the kitchen to get snacks so she could start binging watching Batman the animated series. However, when she got to the kitchen, opened the fridge, she saw her beloved snacks gone.

           Marinette eyes narrowed and she hissed. She marched into the living room and saw the plate she had used lying on the coffee table. The avengers sat watching TV. Marinette picked up the plate, “I made macarons for me. I left them in the fridge with a sign that said do not touch. Someone obviously can’t read. Who did it?”

           The heroes shared looks. No one answered.

“I’m not mad,” Marinette promised. It was lie. By the looks on their faces, they knew a trap when they heard it. “I just want to know the truth. I know it can’t have been Tony or Bruce, because they were with me in the workshop. Natasha is out with Pepper. So…”

           Nothing.

           Thor shifted uneasily. Bucky blinked innocently at her. Steve gave her a boy-ish grin. Clint looked vaguely terrified. Sam kept eyeing the window like it was an exit. Scott looked seconds away from calling for back up.

“Oh,” Marinette nodded. “It’s like that. Fine then.” With that she marched out of the room in a huff.

           When she was gone, Bucky sighed, “She’s going to make us pay for this.”

“One of is just going to go missing,” Sam nodded.

           Clint shrugged, “Sorry, Scott.” And went back to watching TV.

“Yea-What?” Scott yelled. “What do you mean Sorry Scott? Why is it me?”

           The next morning, the heroes woke up to find… things missing. Steve couldn’t find his shield. Bucky’s arm was gone. Thor’s hammer was missing and would return to matter how much he called for it. Clint’s was missing his custom arrows were. Sam’s AI redwing had vanished. And as far Scott, well…

No matter how much they searched, they couldn’t find their missing stuff.

           They all arrived back at the living room, wondering what the hell was going on. They figured one of Tony’s cleaning bots had gone haywire… Again. But that didn’t explain how no one realized it happening. Maybe it was Loki. Still they decided to talk to Tony first. Natasha was with him, and thoroughly amused at the sight of the ruffled men.

           The genius had looked confused, “No. My bots are all up to date. They didn’t even clean last night.”

           Thor nodded, “Then it was my brother. I shall have to speak with him at once.”

“Wait,” Steve said looking around, “Where’s Scott.”

           …And as for Scott? Well, he was missing.

           Bucky’s eyes narrowed, “She has him.”

“Well shit,” Clint said. “I was just joking yesterday.”

“I’ll miss the little dude,” Sam whined.

           Tony looked around, “What are you? No!” He laughed. “Marinette? Frenchy took your stuff? You’re the world’s greatest heroes! She is a fourteen-year-old girl, you know that, right?” He chuckled. Lil Dominator strikes again.

“Natasha,” Steve sent pleading eyes to the Spider.

“I’ll talk to her,” The Black Widow sighed, “But she’ll never respect you if you don’t fight your corner.” With that, she left to speak with Marinette.

           Natasha came back ten minutes later looking rather disgruntled, “She said no.” She told them. “Something about macrons and vengeance. And feeling her wrath. I think you created a supervillain.”

“No,” Tony chimed in. “No supervillany anything. Until she’s twenty-one. It’s in the minion’s contracts” He had made sure to add if after they threated to riot of the good grade addendum; anything lower than a B, and patrol is cut. “She’ll stick to her word.”

“Your interns have contracts?” Clint asked.

           Tony just shrugged, “They do now.”

“Let’s all go talk to her,” Steve suggested. “We’ll apologize and everything will good again.”

           This caused Tony to cackle. “Yeah, okay!”

           The heroes found Marinette on the roof with the other interns. The avengers and the minions eyed each other.

           Marinette spoke first, “I want three dozen macrons from the French bakery on 8th street, near Franky’s deli; all chocolate. Then you get your things returned.”

“You can’t just,” Bucky began. “That’s blackmail.”

“Its extortion,” Riri corrected.

“Marinette, how about…” Sam started but Marinette cut him off.

           She crossed her arms, “This isn’t negotiable.”

“Where’s Scott?” Clint asked. “How do we know he’s alright? We want proof he’s alive.”

           Peter leaned toward Harley, and whispered. “Hey, it sounds like they think we kidnapped him.”

           Harley leaned back, “That’s because technically we did. I think we’re a crime syndicate now.” (Peter yelped, “What?!). “Shhh. Just go with it.”

           Marinette pulled out a walky talky, and headed it to Clint.

“Hey Scott, you there, over,” Clint asked into the radio.

“Help!” Scott’s voice screamed from the radio. “Giant hamster. Giant mean hamster. Oh god why?”

“He’s name Sir Grumpy paw,” Riri said brightly. “I have to keep him here now. He tried to take out my mom’s cat.”

           Bucky just looked at Steve, “Can we just get her the damn macrons.”

“No!” Steve said. “We can find Scott and our things.” He promised. “You’ve gone too far,” he told Marinette.

           The bluenette grinned, “Oh captain, I’ve only just begun.”

           Steve stalked off with the other guys trailing behind him.

           An hour later, Thor was missing...

“She took out a god,” Clint yelled. “Anyone could be next.”

Sam used the radio to try and communicate teammates.

“Good spirits, friends,” Thor said. “I shall conquer the vile beast Sir Grump Paws. And return victorious.”

           Bucky was gone by the next hour. “What the fuck is wrong with this hamster?” The greatest assassin in history yelled once they contacted him via radio. “Who taught its fatass how to glare.” It went quiet. “Stevie, I… think it understand English. Shit.”

“Marinette took out the Winter Soldier,” Natasha said with raised eyebrows. “Impressive.”

           Sam went after that.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” Sam just kept repeated. “We’re in a maze. Plastic tubes. We’re running. It’s after us, Steve. The hamster is after us.” It went quiet. “… I think it ate Scott.”

           Steve sighed, “Can you just talk to her?” He pleaded with Tony, “Clint’s freaked out.”

“Can’t,” Tony said. “Contract. Tony Stark cannot interfere or choose sides in an event of a Minions vs Avengers war.”

“Damn it,” Clint shouted. “This isn’t a war. This is an execution. They’re taking us out one by one, man.”

“Shouldn’t have at her macrons,” Tony smirked, proud of his minions. “She knows it was you by the way.” He told Clint. “She knows you were the one to take them.”

           Clint gulped.

           He went missing ten minutes later.

“Cap,” Clint’s voice came from the radio. “We’re going to do it. We’re going after Sir Grump Paws. It’s time. We can’t live like this, not under his reign. That monster has to be stopped. If we don’t make it, just, just… Tell our story. Tell Nat, I’ll miss her. My sister and her kids, they get all my stuff”

           Steve just looked up at the ceiling, and just looked so done with the world. He got up and went to find the interns, “What are you demands?”

           An hour later, he came back with four dozen macrons, a dozen cupcakes, sticky cheese, peppers, and a pound of gummy worms. He sat the goods on the counter. Natasha, Tony, Rhodey, and Happy looked stunned.

“You… surrendered?” Tony asked perplexed.

“Captain America doesn’t surrender,” Rhodey stated.

           Happy shook his head, “You can’t give in, Cap. I know these rugrats. You gotta set boundaries.”

           Steve just shrugged, “Eighty percent of our team is missing. They just want junk food.”

“It’s a good trade,” Marinette said as she led the other interns, including Pepper’s intern MJ and tech Intern named Ned, into the kitchen. She held the Captain’s America shield proudly.  Peter carried Bucky’s arm. Thor’s hammer floated behind Riri, carried by Plagg and Trixx. Harley had redwing and Clint’s arrow. The kids placed the weapons down on the table.

           However before they could grab the goodies, Steve crossed his arm, “Nope. My friends first!”

“Right behind us,” Riri said.

           Suddenly a squeaky voice was heard, “I have vanquished the dreaded foe, Son of Rogers.”

           Everyone looked down.

           In five different hamster balls, were the missing avengers, looking like they just fought a war?

“Why are they tiny?” Tony pinched his nose.

           Mj shrugged, “How else were they supposed to have gladiatorial death matches with a hamster?”

“Oh, of course,” Tony said sarcastically. “Silly me.”

           It took the tiny avengers half an hour to get back to normal. Hamsters were added to the tower’s banned list.

           Fury showed up later that day. He glared at the interns, Stark’s minions; Ladybug, Spiderman, Iron Heart, and WarIron, “I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

“No, you’re not!” Tony yelled from wherever he was.

           Marinette woke up a few days later; thirsty. She saw it was close to midnight so she decided to rush to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. As she headed to the kitchen, she saw something out the corner of her eyes that had her quickly backtracking.

           In the dining room was Loki, Bucky, Tony, Natasha, Rhodey, Clint, Plagg, Wayzz, and Trixx siting around the table, playing what looked to be poker.

“The girl who tormented by brother and the avengers,” Loki said approvingly. “With a rodent.”

           Marinette nodded, “Deal me in.”

           She’d sleep when she’s dead.

           The next day, Steve and Pepper would both find themselves knocking on Marinette’s bedroom door. One to get an arm back. The other the keys to Tony’s Lamborghini. Only to find Thor already there requesting his brother’s helmet back.

             Gambling with Marinette was added to the Tower’s banned list. 

[butterflyinthewell]

Some stuff about wheelchair!Vegeta with headcanons everywhere:

Vegeta was chronically ill before his injury due to medical abuse by Freeza. He was meant to be stronger than Goku, but will always be a half-step behind because of this, but even he doesn’t know that.

The illness stunted his growth and damaged all his organs. He recovered with lasting damage to his heart and kidneys. Saiyajin bodies compensate for damaged organs until they no longer function, so his liver and spleens(yes two) do some of the work his kidneys used to.

He gets drunk on less alcohol than other Saiyajins because of this.

In human terms he’s in chronic heart and kidney failure. He has to be very careful taking any meds that are toxic to the heart, liver and kidneys.

A human in his condition would be dead in a week. He’s been this way for decades.

His medical rap sheet is many pages long, and he paid huge amounts of money to have his medical records sealed so Freeza wouldn’t use them against him in the future. Medicines dangerous to him due to his organ damage were listed as allergies.

The Androids caused his spinal cord injury and the violent beating left him with PTSD. He already had sub-clinical PTSD symptoms before and this incident is what made it manifest fully.

He lost his ‘little’ spleen because of them. (Which is fine, it’s like a human appendix. He needs the big one, though.)

The damage to his body made his kidneys fail temporarily, so he was put on dialysis until they spontaneously started working again.

For a short time he was a quadriplegic on a ventilator because the surgery to repair his shattered 10th thoracic vertebra caused massive swelling in his spinal cord and brain. Nobody knew if he would survive the night after surgery, and the true extent of how the spinal cord injury affected him couldn’t be assessed until the swelling went down.

Saiyajin central nervous systems swell up when their brain or spinal cord gets punctured or exposed. It’s a vestigial trait from billions of years ago when their evolutionary ancestors’ bodies became toxic to any predator trying to eat them. This “immune edema” normally isn’t survivable, so Vegeta is the first and only Saiyajin to experience it and live.

He was in a coma from May until August. Nobody knew what condition he would be in if he woke up at all. But he did, and spent a long time in a minimally conscious state before becoming alert enough to communicate.

For awhile, he couldn’t use his vocal cords even if he had a Passy-Muir valve attached, so he communicated via AAC through a tablet and a mouth switch.

The brain edema caused neurons to sheer apart. While Saiyajin brains are capable of more neuroplasticity than human brains are, he still sustained a traumatic brain injury. He was diagnosed with epilepsy (he has tonic clonic seizures) caused by scar tissue all over his brain, and it’s inoperable because of the immune edema response. He takes meds to control his seizures and only has breakthroughs when something drastically lowers his seizure threshold.

Vegeta understands epilepsy because Raditz was born with it. Raditz’s was a lot worse and no medication controlled it. (Raditz had focal aware, atonic and tonic clonic seizures. His could be triggered by strobes, but Vegeta’s aren’t.)

Raditz was shameless about his seizures. They were just a thing that happened. Vegeta, in contrast, finds it humiliating if anyone other than Bulma or Trunks sees him have one, doubly so if he wets or soils himself during it.

Raditz tended to get confused, hyperactive and giddy the day after a seizure. Vegeta is bone-tired, struggles with brain fog and has trouble with his short term memory the day after a seizure. It takes him two days to fully recover.

Once all the brain issues settled down, it became clear that Vegeta is a t10 paraplegic, but he still gets autonomic dysreflexia because Saiyajins are more easily prone to it than humans. His experience of it is also worse than humans because he goes right to high blood pressure and a pounding headache. This drops his seizure threshold and it’s a mess. The only thing to control it is stopping the pain signal that’s happening below his lesion and keeping his head above his heart until his BP goes down.

Saiyajins have redundant nerves throughout their spine, so Vegeta can feel his toes, the soles of his feet, his tail scar and some spots on his butt. He can flex his butt muscles, but can’t wiggle his toes. He has no sensation from his belly button to the tops of his feet.

He can hobble along wearing knee-ankle-foot orthotics and using forearm crutches (four point gait) because those muscles in his butt give just enough movement to initiate a leg swing while gravity does the rest. He walks therapeutically to keep his legs from completely atrophying, but prefers his chair to get around.

He’s more prone to G-LOC in the gravity room due to orthostatic hypotension. Bulma programmed the computer to check his blood pressure periodically and tell him to power up if it drops too low since powering up raises blood pressure.

He tends to have seizures if he passes out from G-LOC. His brain is very sensitive to lack of oxygen since his injury.

He can exercise and train in up to 700Gs, but can’t fight in anything above 95 because his blood pressure and unhealthy heart can’t cope. He can die of anoxia if he’s turned upside down, abruptly flipped right side up again and held there while all the blood goes to his legs.

Vegeta doesn’t measure his disability by human standards. He measures it by Saiyajin standards. To able-bodied humans he doesn’t seem all that affected by what happened, but from his perspective he’s extremely affected.

The PTSD can make him violent and quick to anger. He has flashbacks and nightmares. If he gets triggered hard enough, he dissociates to the point of memory blackout. Sometimes he has bouts of depression.

Manual wheelchairs made for humans can’t survive him. He goes to push the wheels and they fly off, or it flies apart if he powers up, or it collapses in the gravity room, so Bulma made him some Saiyajin-proof chairs.

His current wheelchair LOOKS like an ultralight rigid open frame manual wheelchair, but it actually weighs about fifty pounds and is made of similar material to his old armor and attack ball. Unlike us in the real world, he’s got a button to push that’ll poof his chair into a capsule if he’s getting in a car or something. Btw, his chair has a white frame (hanger at 90 degrees and tapered to fit his legs), a hard backing, dark blue upholstery, a silver open tube footrest, black wheels, black push rims, white spoke covers, gold casters and gold bolts.

A regular human probably wouldn’t be able to use the wheelchair at all due to its weight.

His chair can survive up to 700 Gs in the gravity room, can survive him powering up and can take direct ki blasts without falling apart. This is because the frame is solid, not hollow tubes, and the wheels are also solid so they can’t pop or go flat.

His wheels have micro-treads, but he’s got “off road” wheels with huge treads he can switch to if he’s going somewhere outdoors or muddy.

He’s gentle about moving his chair around inside the Capsule Corporation compound, but give him a straightaway with no obstacles and he can shoot himself forward at 50mph on one full-strength push.

One of his fighting moves is to knock someone down, pop a wheelie and slam his casters down on them. Sometimes he keeps going by running them completely over. This could kill an ordinary human.

He can cheat stairs by flying, but finds that annoying and will use a ramp if it’s available.

He can still fight how he used to, just no kicks or leg movement.

All the pills he has to take (extended release Tegretol for his epilepsy, Valium for when a panic attack won’t stop) require a special coating so he metabolizes it with the full benefit instead of getting all the medication in his system at once for an hour. Injected meds work on him the same as a human, though.

Morphine is the go-to pain med when he’s having AD because he metabolizes it the fastest (he sprays it on his gums) but it zonks him out so it’s literally ever only used in dire emergencies where the cause of pain can’t be found or fixed by external means. Using morphine requires he gets blood work after to check on his liver.

Trunks is the only one in the story who grew up with Vegeta in the wheelchair and seeing him being tended to by Bulma whenever his health issues came up, so all his dad’s medical stuff is normal to him. He’s a sweet helper of a kid too and will sometimes ask if he can push Vegeta somewhere.

Actually, Vegeta kinda hates being fussed over, but he feels loved when family does the fussing. If it’s anybody else, though? He gets irritable and embarrassed.

He HATES it if people touch, lean on or move his chair without permission. Gohan makes the mistake of moving the chair exactly one time and learns a really hard lesson to never do it again.

Bulma can sit in the wheelchair without asking when Vegeta isn’t in it, and sometimes she does if she’s sitting at his bedside after he had a medical issue or seizure.

VEGETA’S DISABILITY WILL NOT BE CURED, EVER, NOT EVEN WITH THE DRAGON BALLS.

Vegeta sees his wheelchair as a reminder that he survived something that killed all the other Z-fighters. It’s a source of pride, not shame!

Sometimes he refers to his wheelchair as his throne.

Wheelchair!Vegeta is sexy af.

[pinkhairedlily]

Freedom

Prompts: Crossover, Distant, Safe and Sound | A03 link here | Connect with me on Twitter. Happy SS Month everyone! 🌸🍅🥗 @ssskmonth

Some confused drabble on Gundam Seed crossover with SS, referencing the scene where Lacus Clyne saved Kira Yamato from his fight with Athrun Zala. Technical notes at the end of the post!

The clanging of metals, the smell of burning wires, the endless beeping of the monitor, and the sickening slash of Justice’s sword through his cockpit. He remembered being exposed to the open air, hearing the waves of a nearby ocean, and seeing Naruto’s face in a Zaft uniform – his face constricted in extreme anger and hatred. He thought this was what he deserved for killing Hyuuga Neji, but he was caught in a crossfire and war was a matter of survival.

Then there was the explosion.

No matter which way one saw it, he should have been dead. Naruto’s Justice detonated after the blonde ejected out of safety. His stomach was bleeding out from a debris when they clashed into one of the PLANT’s areas. He should have been dead, but instead, he woke up to the gentle singing of a familiar voice.

Sakura Haruno, the famed icon and face of PLANT and the only child of the leader of Haruno Faction which was the primary peacekeeping force and bridge between the Zaft Forces and Earth Alliance. Long pink, wavy hair framed the sides of his face and tickled the bandages on his skin while striking green eyes try to follow the movement of his pupils. Some months ago, he rescued her while she drifted in space inside an escape pod, her escort having been mistakenly struck by Earth Alliance as an offensive party. Some months ago, he amicably returned her safely to her fiancé, Naruto, in a covert operation. Some months ago, he met her and got to know her kindness. And now, he was bound to receive it again.

“Sasuke? Can you hear me?” Her hands gently brushed the fringes away from his face. How long has he been out? Somewhere, he heard the waves go up against the same shore. “You can sleep, if you want. Sleep for as long as you want. I’ll be here.”

-------------------------------

What was this place? It seemed devoid of war – pristine shores, blue sea, the quiet rustling of palm leaves, the warm sunshine. So far off from the neutral colony he grew up in – of the sudden attack and open fire from the skies, so far off from the open space where galaxy belts have been littered with gundam debris and frozen bodies.

She found him on the edge of the ocean, the waves lapping his wrinkled bare toes. He has been here for hours. She made her way to his side, followed by a small pink circular shape hopping across the sand.

“Haro! Haro! Haro!” The robot cried out after its owner; Sakura spun around and caught Naruto’s creation between her hands, nuzzling it as if it was her pet.

Sasuke hesitated for a while – she was a Coordinator after all, conceived with the most superior genes, and he was too, he was but he hated their kind all the same. The same kind who saw themselves far above the Naturals to the extent that they would wage war and kill.

“How tiring, isn’t it?” Sakura suddenly asked out of the blue, her green eyes arresting him in all their sincerity. “The senseless fighting when there is good in everyone.”

“That’s not true,” he rebutted…which was stupid because he hadn’t thanked her yet for saving him.

“Naruto is a good person even when you were kids, isn’t that right?” The circular robot was wriggling in her hands and she let it go, only for it to almost fall to the water and to its electrifying death if not for Sasuke’s quick hands.

“You also have some good in you,” she said with a smile. She took the fussy robot from his hands and went back to their family mansion.

-------------------------------

Sasuke found himself drifting in and out of his own consciousness; he would always fall into a daydream, the collage of the civilian ship ejecting from their mother ship and getting struck by a missile keep replaying in front of him. Screams would often escape him, even during daylight, but the touch of her hands steadied him, and her green eyes would reel him back to safe ground.

He would allow himself to lean further into her skin, liking the warmth a little too much, but torn all the same. She was his childhood friend’s fiancé, and he stole too many precious people away from him already.

It was effective, the way she led him in walks along the shore, her hand in his, and haro following closely behind, filling in the gaps of silences with his automated voice. When the robot finally stopped chirping to recharge, she would let go of his hand and hum a random song. He might have heard it before, in a far away moment and now unfamiliar moment of peace, when he was still a student and led a normal life.

“I killed Neji,” he blurted out, unaware of the consequences, but possibly to rile her up, to make her angry at him, to make it easier to go away.

Sakura brought her loose strands to the side of her shoulder, braiding the length of it while averting her gaze from him. “When I was fifteen, the Zaft Forces struck the civilian plane my mom was in. She accompanied my father to a diplomatic meeting with the Orb Union while I was here in PLANT. But I caught a fever and I asked for her despite being surrounded by nurses. I really missed her that time, you see. So she went on board the earliest civilian plane in Panama. Unfortunately, it was also the day the Earth Forces skirmished with Zaft and a stray missile hit their engine. That put a metaphorical dent as well in the diplomatic discussions.” She returned her attention to him, her pink hair unfinished and already coming undone. “We all suffered deaths, one way or the other, and each loss only breeds hatred if the cycle isn’t broken.”

“And how do you propose to do that?”

“Kindness,” Sakura extended her hand to him, and he subconsciously reached out to accept it.

-------------------------------

“Sakura-chan!”

Sasuke avoided the throng of kids that suddenly surrounded Sakura. He found himself standing beside Sai, the reverend who pulled him from the wreckage some weeks ago.

“They’re Naturals, if you’re wondering,” Sai said. “Rescued and fostered here under a neutrality agreement.”

“Savior’s complex?” Sasuke asked, still defensive about the matter.

“Just common moral decency.” The reverend had this mysterious smile etched forever on his face, and while Sasuke learned to read people, he could never read him accurately.

When the orphanage visit calmed down, and they were left alone with biscuits and tea on the gazebo overlooking the ocean, Sakura received the video message transmitted through Haro. She instinctively angled her body so whoever was on the other side won’t see him.

“Ms. Haruno,” a voice started. “We caught wind of some news.”

Sakura nodded, a cue to continue.

“It’s Operation Spitbreak. The real target is the Alaska HQ.”

Sasuke hitched a breath – if he recalled correctly, his mother ship Archangel intended to refuel there and stock on supplies. All the big guns were in Panama, strategizing for the penultimate and inevitable battle. So why Alaska?

Ah, they were the remaining big ship with the firepower that could match them.

Sakura noticed the change in his countenance, and she immediately ended the call after a quick word of thanks. Arms engulfed him in a gentle hug. “I guess it’s time.”

His arms wrapped around her waist tentatively. “I want to stay a little bit longer in this place where everything is safe and sound.”

“Not for long.” She tightened her hold on him. “Not for long, Sasuke.”

He did the same, trying to savor her fleeting presence in his embrace.

-------------------------------

That night, she and Sai led him to a facility under the Haruno family mansion. The steel doors opened after the usual biometrics – iris scan, hand print, and voice recognition. The sight astounded him when the lights started to come on. The gundam was bigger than his previous, Strike, and visually had more missiles and armaments.

Sai handed him a paper bag containing his new mobile suit. “It’s X10A Freedom Gundam, one of the two newest developments of Zaft. You’ll find that it’s much more lighter compared to previous models with faster mobility stats, and more devastating firepower. But you’ll be all right, you have the seed of the coordinator after all. What a dream it would be to see it used for coexistence.” He didn’t wait for Sasuke’s reply and quietly moved away to give the two privacy.

“Isn’t this too much?” Sasuke asked her. She hasn’t even asked him whether his views of the world have changed.

“I believe you’ll do the right thing.” Sakura leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Come back to me safely?”

Sasuke held her gaze, sincere in the uttering of his next words. “I will.”

TECHNICAL NOTES

GUNDAM – General Purpose Utility Non-Discontinuity Augmentation Maneuvering Weapon System

Coordinators – genetically enhanced human beings; improved traits e.g. faster learning, stronger bodies, more honed talents

Naturals – naturally born human being which did not undergo genetic modifications

Earth Forces/Earth Alliance – predominantly Natural

ZAFT – Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty; PLANT’s national army, members comprised fully of coordinators

PLANT – space colonies

Orb Union – nation composed of neutral territories located east of New Guinea

Music used for this writing: Mizu no Akashi | Fields of Hope

[hideawayintheimaginationworld]

I am Machine: Chapter 5

Sleep didn’t come to Alec this time, he watched as Lefty and Helpy slept, they finally went to bed at 1:21am, while Alec was left think about what Lefty said.

That lock existed because a Lonely Freddy came into their room while they slept. Lefty knew they were already dangerous, he just didn’t know the extent of it until he met Alec.

Alec knew if they got rid of the Lonely Freddy when Lefty talked to “Mike” that he wouldn’t be here right now, but Alec didn't blame Lefty for this.

If Lefty had his way initially...... He would have unintentionally saved Alec.

This room wasn’t as cold as others Alec had been in previously, he did still wish he had that blanket he found, recalling it was most likely left at that guy's house. His name was Lewis Anthony, Alec remembered, he is the Music Man. Would be likely he'd get the blanket back? It was soft and great to lay on, his argument was despite being covered in fur now, he could feel the cold more intensely now, he hated cold, which is why Alec hated Winter.

The hours flew by and eventually Alec heard movement, he turned to see Lefty had opened his eyes and looked at the displayed time from the clock that sat on the desk where Helpy often worked.

"12:10pm....” Lefty mumbled pulling off his blanket and standing up, stretching out.

"Aren’t you.... Late for work?” Alec asked him knowing it was a few hours pass opening time.

Alec saw Lefty jump slightly, “Oh I forgot about you being here.....” He turned to him, “I'm only use to hearing Helpy’s voice when I wake up. Seems he still sleeping like a cat,” He looked over at the small bear who was all cuddled up against the blanket, looking so peaceful.

"So um.....” Lefty was trying to think of what to say to Alec, he knew Alec was most likely a bit emotionally unstable being in the wrong body.

"You obviously don't.... Want to stay this way?” Lefty knew what the answer was but he needed to hear it from Alec.

Alec huffed, “No, I don't enjoy being a perfect height for people to kick me.”

"I don't want a repeat of the kicking incident with Helpy,” Lefty grabbed his red hat from where it sat on his black bedside table and placed it on his head. He then lifted up the red ribbon and began to tie it around his neck as he spoke, “He was aching all day as was Freddy. Benedict had to delicately put back his spine into place, much like humans, if robots break their spines, we don't stand a chance unless it's all fixed up. I could've broken that teenager's spine if they weren't so many witnesses.”

He spoke about teenagers quite bitterly, that seemed to be his only real experience with a teenager.

“Really?” Alec asked. Alec had yet to tell Lefty his age so he was unaware he was speaking to a teenager at this very moment.

"Well I am strong enough to break a spine....” Lefty had adjusted his bowtie so it sat perfectly, “But I did at lease get to scream at the teenager for a solid twenty minutes for thinking it was funny to kick a small robot who didn't even provoke him, my voice was gone later but it was worth seeing that pathetic brat's face go white.. He was.... Scared.... Of what I'd do.....” Lefty frowned realising something, “Alec... I must ask and don’t think this is because I don't believe you...”

"You don't?” Alec asked sounding unintentionally very worried which Lefty immediately picked up on.

"No! No! I do believe you.... But this situation..... It's strange to me... I've never dealt with this.... I need to know this however, Alec how did Fred get you? In the sense of.... How did this happen? I’m still unclear on how.”

"I went into a backroom-” Alec explained with Lefty unexpectedly cutting him off with:

"You are not allowed in backrooms unless you work here. Customers are not permitted to roam in those areas for their own safety.”

It sounded like Lefty was reciting a rule that was well known, Alec wondered how often he had to repeat that one rule to remember it. Alec knew he broke that rule and didn't care now, so he answered “Obviously I know that.”

"I'm surprised you weren’t found by an employee. I myself roam those backrooms often when I'm not on stage, I'm surprised I didn't encounter you unless I was on stage for a long segment during that time.” Lefty responded.

“Can I continue?”

"Go ahead,” Lefty answered, “Wait, can you describe the room? Any props inside?”

"It had like... Old arcade machines.. Some broken toys...” Alec recalled.

“Oh yes, that's the south west backroom, we keep various props lying around in there,” Lefty nodded, “I have seen a Lonely Freddy in there about five months ago but it looked deactivated so I didn’t bother with it. I need to remember what Marionette has told me, which is “things are often not what they appear,” which is why I believe you, you appear as one of the deceivers but you are actually one who was hoodwinked.”

"Lonely Freddy approached me... It seemed normal at first, then he got extremely personal...” Lefty tilted his head confused so Alec had told him about the questions he recalled which were suspicious, “Asking who I admired, what would I do if I had to hurt someone I love, what I fear, and asking.... Asking... Asking...”

What's your biggest regret Alec?

A chill ran down his spine.

You are weak for telling him that. Pathetic.

"Alec. Alec. Alec! Hey!” Lefty had snapped his fingers in front of his face to bring his attention back, Alec blinked and looked at Lefty who had gone from standing in front of his bed to kneeling in front of him. He had been so out of it that he didn't see Lefty move.

"What exactly were you asked? I’d like to know,” Lefty prompted.

He felt like he was forced to answer, not because of that single golden honey colour eye staring at him to force an answer, but because Lefty needed the answer, “What’s my biggest regret...” Alec told him.

Lefty's pupil noticeably shrunk in shock, he had either heard that particular question before or was surprised it asked that question.

Could he have heard it before?

When he blinked, his eye grew to normal size, “Why didn't you run away? Lonely Freddy couldn’t have possibly stopped you. You could have kick it, I kicked one once and it went down easily.”

"I couldn't move.... Those eyes... Glowing...” It still seemed so hazy to him, yet very real. He remembered his panic, the disappointment of hearing his mom and Hazel so close by, yet unable to find him.

"That girl....” Lefty himself had recalled what he encountered and his face turned to rage, “It's the same thing!!!! You were put into a trance Alec, Lonely Freddy hypnotised you, by using known the well known method one, eye contact and possibly using his voice as some sort of lure....” Lefty spoke as a matter of fact, “An unspoken rule of keeping yourself safe from evil is to not look something strange in the eye if you don't know what it could do.”

"Hey I didn't know that! It's not my fault!!” Alec shouted.

"I was not blaming you! You did nothing wrong!” Lefty exclaimed, “So unable to move... Glowing eyes...... What happened next?”

"I closed my eyes and woke up.... He was gone... I notice everything was bigger.”

"You didn’t initially make a connection?” Lefty asked, “Lonely Freddy gone, the world looks bigger? Didn't you see the fact you had paws now?” Lefty had held out and extended out his own paw to show him.

Lefty had pointed out the obvious glaring issues that Alec overlooked, “No I didn't,” Alec answered, “I saw my reflection later and I knew what happened at that point.”

Lefty tapped his chin, “The fact your voice doesn’t sound like a Lonely Freddy and you have green eyes instead of blue, and you perfectly describe a very textbook case of hypnosis... It all adds up.... But why did you hide from me? From the others? I understand hiding from humans but if you came to me with the story sooner, I could have helped you, perhaps I could have tended to this as soon as it happened. I could have even stopped Lonely Freddy from leaving the pizzeria in your body.”

Alec could easily answer, “I was scared....”

"Scared of us?”

"I didn’t know what you'd do! You could have quickly turned on me-!!”

"You thought we'd kill you???” Lefty asked seemingly surprised at this.

"That guy Lewis said you hate Lonely Freddy-”

"I knew even at that moment you were listening to us! I didn’t tell Lewis because he would have immediately gotten hysterical, much like how you are. How old are you suppose to be?”

"Fifteen.”

"Oh you’re a teenager.”

"Why does that change anything?” Alec almost sneered at him.

"No it doesn’t, you're still a human, I sense it. You are not suppose to be a robot. I just didn’t guess you were a teenager... But now that I think.... It makes sense...?” Lefty looked around as he spoke, “A young child would have approached us regardless of what they appeared as. An adult wouldn’t even be here, they'd figure out a way to escape. A teenager would probably panic like you.”

"Are you insulting me?” Alec questioned.

"No, it's an observation,” Lefty answered.

"Speaking of that, why is it so quiet? The pizzeria's open... Isn't it?

"Our rooms are soundproof, behind three different tightly locked doors so we don't hear what's going on in the pizzeria, and also kids can’t accidentally wander in this area. It's good too because we all have different sleep schedules, me and Helpy usually sleep from 2:00am to around 12:00pm, but if I have to work earlier for a birthday that specifically requested me, I have a nap at about 2:00pm until 5:00pm. If Helpy works all night helping Mike, he's asleep from 10:00am to about midnight. It's easy for us to adjust our sleeping schedules.”

"Easy for you, humans don’t work that way,” Alec scoffed.

"You know if you have trouble sleeping.... You should try some Chamomile tea before bed. You're still able to eat and drink but it's not necessary to survive like humans,” Lefty replied walking over to the door, “Would you like to join me for something to eat or stay here?”

Alec thought back to that strange scrapping noise on the door last night, “I’ll come with you...” Alec walked to be alongside him as Lefty unlocked the door and opened it.

They walked in quiet, as Lefty wasn't as talkative as Helpy. Alec saw he was not even looking at him, he had a look on his face like he was mentally somewhere else. He'd be exactly like that when he was being lectured by his parents but the thing was when he wanted them to acknowledge him.... They ignored him.

He missed his family.

Lefty opened one door and stepped aside so Alec could walk through. Lefty then took the lead again and opened a door at the end of the hall. They arrived at a sort of small communal area there was a kitchen set up, an area with sofas.

A man was in one of those sofas, his back turned away, so he didn’t see them, Lefty realised the situation and shoved Alec along until he was hidden behind the kitchen island counter top.

"Otis?” Lefty asked trying to act as casual as he possibly could to not accidentally reveal Alec.

"Oh! I didn’t hear you come in! Good morning- I mean Good afternoon! It's afternoon....”

"It's okay, you on a break?”

"Lunch break, I'll be gone in ten minutes, I guess I could go now if I'm bothering you.”

"Oh no! You can stay Otis, there's no problem here....” Lefty replied, “Say.... I wanted to ask.... You once spoke about.... Something... Called the Shadow Puppet, he was in your story... Is he based on the legend I read about once?”

"Legend no, Shadow Puppet is real Lefty, apperantly he was once a friendly man but something changed about him and he changed for the worse, embraced the darker magic elements and used them for diabolical purposes. You know magic is suppose to be used for good intentions and those who use it for evil become disfigured..... Anyway why are you asking?”

"Hypnotising and Body swap are generally dark magic right? The evil side tend to use them to get an advantage don't they?”

"I don't like where this is going Lefty-” Otis looked disturbed by the topic.

"I’m asking because!.... Because!......” Lefty looked around the room then looked back at Otis, “Can you keep a secret?” His voice had lowered to almost a whisper.

"Sure!”

"This will not leave this room at any point,” Lefty said, he turned to Alec, then he kneeled down and lifted him up.

"What are you doing?!?” Alec asked extremely panicked because Lefty had lifted him off the ground and he knew a person was there who would see him.

"Calm down, Otis's as dangerous as butterfly,” Lefty assured him.

Otis's eyes widen, “My! Is that a Lonely Freddy? I thought all of them were gone!”

"This is Alec..... I was right Otis... He's suppose to be human like you, Lonely Freddy had hypnotic capabilities with a body swap tied to that, and it slipped pass all of us!” Lefty held Alec like a child, “Seems impossible when you consider you're a magician, Security is an anti-kidnapping measure that has always worked, I'm able to detect souls and anything suspicious, not to mention we have other staff who are almost always actively patrolling the pizzeria! It just seems so impossible yet it did happen... Now, do I have your permission to go to your house and look for anything that could help me, help Alec, go back to his normal body?”

Otis was thinking for a minute, “I see..... Does anyone else?”

"Helpy knows but Foxy saw him at one point, and as stubborn as he is, he's likely not to leave it alone so easily,” Lefty spoke, “He could be a problem.”

"You will probably have to at lease tell Freddy eventually, Alec can not be kept a secret especially if you, and I think you do, have any intention of returning Alec to his correct body,”

"I will tell him soon, but I don't want to find out you've been going around telling anyone else. No one else should know unless I told them,” Lefty said as he put Alec on the ground.

"How.... Do you know how it happened?”

“Only Alec really knows, it could be possible that his memory of that event is foggy like how some victims of hypnosis are, they struggle to recall the exact event but remember the before and after. I didn’t see it happening but apperantly it's remarkably similar to an incident I have seen but with a different outcome because I interfered in the other incident.”

“30 years have gone by without a single incident in the company’s history....”

"That’s why I have strong belief this isn’t a coincidence..... I think.... He's back, and he's trying something new..... He doing that in hope that we don't recognise his new signature, but it aligns with the whole concept of “Harvesting Soul Remnant”. I need a word with Security when they aren’t busy.”

"Him...? This is serious....”

"It’s also just a theory I have, but it seems very close to what he did apperantly... This could be someone new though, I do know Mr. Emily didn't build these things.... This is what I'll do, Alec will stay in my room, once I tell Freddy, I'll be fine letting him roam at night, but not at day. If kids see him, they'll go ballistic. If the staff see him, he'll be put out for good, I won’t let that happen until they're swapped back, then I'll give the real Lonely Freddy to Benedict so he permanently shut down the vile thing.”

Lefty looked at Alec as he spoke, “As much as I hate this situation because this is an area I've never explored in magic.... Alec is technically only still alive because this.... Is a vessel for his soul, self conscious, and memories. Mike won't give him a chance to explain... Alec you would be immediately shut down if you were found and that..... That would officially end your life, it's like turning off a life support unit,” Lefty explained, “My priority will be keeping you alive, I expect you to do all you can also to prevent being caught by the staff members.”

“Well you're talking about keeping me alive so......” Alec responded realising that all he had said made sense even if the whole thing appears quite grim.

"The only other human I feel safe to tell is Lewis, he'll understand this... I only told Otis so I could look through his stuff. I'd only tell Mike if I need to, I'd rather not tell him if I don’t have to...”

"Yes, yes..... Mike will mostly not listen to Alec because he can't see the truth....” Otis agreed.

"Hopefully now I know about Alec's situation.... I can come up with a plan.... Maybe we could lure the Lonely Freddy back here, or if that isn’t possible, I could ask Lewis to take me and Alec to Alec’s house and we'll swap back there with no one else knowing, it depends on what must be done and what me, Helpy and Security can do.”

Otis shook his head, “This is... Way beyond my understanding.... Do what you must Lefty! You can look through what I have! We must do the right thing and return Alec to his body as soon as possible before the Lonely Freddy does something desperate and undoable to stop your efforts!”

Alec frowned, what exactly would Lonely Freddy do to stop him from returning to his body? Nothing really came to him at that point other than how desperate would that bear get just to keep his identity indefinitely. Fred obviously would not want to blow his cover as an imposter and he obviously hadn’t done so yet if no one came to look for Alec.

Unless they don't know where to look for me.... His mind had said in that moment, Maybe if I asked... Lefty would let me see my house... See my family.

"Thank you Otis,” Lefty smiled.

"Oh Lefty, I wanted to ask you something.”

"Yes?”

"Your room is close to Bonnie's, I was in there last night before I went home because I had hit my head while working, did you... Happen to hear a strange noise last night?” Otis asked.

"A strange noise...?”

"It sounded like scrapping, like something snatching on wood. By the time I looked, the sound stopped and what ever was causing it was gone.”

"Maybe Alec made the noise? He fell over or something?” Lefty suggested.

"No I didn’t, I heard the noise too, and talking, quiet talking,” Alec said.

"Talking..... Helpy got spooked once and told me he was sure someone was outside our door talking quietly. I didn’t think much of it because we have a lock on our door and when I started practicing magic I put a “no evil shall breach” spell on the door, so anything that tries to break in with evil intentions, will be repelled.....”

"Is there anything we should be concerned about?” Alec questioned Lefty.

"Security did tell me once that if we hear barking outside at night we should make sure the doors are locked.... I thought it was funny initially, we aren’t close enough to any houses that we would hear any dog barking.... But then I heard barking a couple of nights ago and it sounded very close..... I looked later.... There were big paw prints in front of the pizzeria... Bigger than any dog that exists... It freaks me out, what happened to you freaks me out!”

Alec nodded, “I know.... It's still surreal for me... I thought this was a nightmare.”

"Lefty, you best hide Alec for now, I believe Fiona and Rockstar Chica are on break soon, and their reactions will... Draw attention...” Otis stood up and walked to the door, “I’ll see you later Lefty, good luck in finding a way to reverse this awful curse.”

Lefty nodded as Otis left the room, Alec looked up at him.

"Curse...?” was the only word out of his month.

"I guess this technically is... A curse,” Lefty responded.

"A curse...” Alec repeated, he had never viewed his situation as a curse.

“But most curses can be reversed! I'm sure there is a way to undo this!” Lefty exclaimed, when he heard Alec repeat it sounding terrified.

"But most people who get cursed deserve it.....” Alec knew that much, he then looked away, “Maybe I did deserve this.....”

"I can see into your soul and I know you did nothing bad enough to deserve this!!!!”

“That's because you really don't know me!” Alec exclaimed angry.

"And that doesn’t matter! I know what I need to!” Lefty yelled back at him with the same amount of rage Alec just had, “You are a teenager who needs to go back to his own body and I will find a way! It'll..... It'll just...... Take time.... It’ll take time to fix the mess you’ve gotten yourself into......” Lefty shook his head.

Alec was silent. He watched Lefty turn his attention away and grabbed the coffee jug from the machine, he then reached up and grabbed a black coloured mug with a strange jagged white stripe pattern that looked like lightning bolts.

Lefty was drinking coffee when Alec spoke.

"Lefty..?”

“What is it Alec?”

He wasn't yelling or ignoring him.

He was actually listening to him.

“I want to go home and make things right,” Alec said, “I’ve done some pretty bad things....”

Lefty looked at Alec, completely focused, Alec felt compelled to say this, “I hurt my sister, I made her cry, and I didn’t apologise for it. I was so angry at her, I thought she was a brat, but it was me, and this is my fault. I didn't mean to make her cry.”

"Oh Alec...” He put down his coffee mug and kneeled down, speaking directly to him, “We all do stupid things in anger, we're so determined to prove a point, when it goes haywire, we can lose our temper, I do it, I've seen Helpy lose his cool when things go wrong, everyone here has gotten frustrated.....”

"My sister.... I was awful to her.... And it was my fault, she wanted to be my friend and I ruined it for no good reason... I hated her for no good reason...”

"Honestly.... I've sometimes become frustrated with Helpy, but I always realise that he is just bothering me because I'm like his brother, and I can’t change that... I feel honoured Helpy considers me as such....” Lefty said, then gave a small smile.

“I’m certain, it is not too late to repair your relationship with your sister, let her be your friend, have a long discussion, tell her how you feel, make sure you let her speak too, be honest with her. I've had to fix my own relationships before, and I always believed it was too far gone to undo my mistakes.... But each time I was wrong, because there's two sides to everything. To me, it appears you were jealous of your sister, perhaps a conversation with your parents isn’t out of line? It might be good to also speak to your parents...”

“It seems your sister wanted nothing more than to be your friend. It's remarkable, true friends, will never be pushed away, even we try to shove them through the front door again and again, treat them as an unwelcomed guest, a nuisance... They always come back to make sure we're okay, because they care.”

"What if she likes the imposter more than me?”

"Lonely Freddy is not her brother. You are, I'm sure... Your sister-”

"Her name is Hazel,” Alec irrupted him to tell him.

"Hazel would rather want her own brother over Freddy any day, plus... I'm certain, he cannot keep up the façade forever... Something will slip, and Hazel may already realise that something is amiss. Lonely Freddy will have no idea how to perfectly mimic you, someone who truly knows you will see something is wrong.”

Alec has a very reassuring conversation with Lefty. Hope you enjoyed Chapter 5.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[orange-waterfalls]

I Won't Miss You Much

Illinois x gender neutral!reader

@just-bts-trash-00 ty for the prompt

A/N: the title is a lie from our very own adventurer. Illinois being a lonely boy and getting a taste of his own medicine I guess. He leaves for adventures for weeks on end and just goes "haha y/n will be fine" yeah it's not so GOOD IS IT, ILLY? sorry I'm tired. Uuuuuuh comedy??? And fluff??? I took a jab at Hallmark movies at one point lol. Rated T for cursing. I didn't intend for the end to be suggestive but I think that's what happened. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k

--

Illinois drove back home, smiling from ear to ear. He'd just found an entire chest of treasure. Gold, silver, jewels, you name it. He'd give a lot of it to museums, like always, but even with what he'd have left, he wouldn't have to adventure for a month! A month to spend time with you. That sounded lovely.

He'd been going on a lot of adventures recently, so you two didn't see each other much. He was pretty okay with it, but he knew how much you wanted to spend time with him. This was a great opportunity. He didn't call to tell you he was coming home. He wanted to surprise you.

He pulled into the driveway, turning the car off and walking up to the door. He knocked 7 times in a rhythmic pattern. He heard a bit of shuffling from inside before you opened the door a crack. Upon seeing your boyfriend, your eyes widened and you threw the door open.

"Illinois?" You asked, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my house?" He laughed. You pulled him into a hug and he backed you into the house, closing the door with his foot.

"I thought you'd be gone until tomorrow…" you said and pulled out of the hug.

"I wanted to come home early," he shrugged. "Besides, I don't have to adventure for a month." You blinked at him.

"A… a month?" You repeated with less enthusiasm.

"Yeah! So we can spend a lot of time together, just like you want."

"Oh…"

"What's wrong? Were you planning on breaking up with me?" He chuckled. He looked behind you, seeing a suitcase on the couch. He looked back at you and frowned. "Please don't break up with me…"

"Oh! Oh, no, no, no! That's not what that's for!" You reassured. "I just…"

"What?"

"I'm… going on a business trip…"

"Business trip? To where?"

"Uh… Brazil…"

"Brazil?"

"Yeah…" you said apologetically. "A client hired me to take photos… in Brazil… I'm sorry…"

"It's alright," Illinois sighed. "We can have quality time after you get back."

"I'm gonna be gone for a month…"

"What? Why?"

"They want me to take pictures of everything. Families, animals, there's a parade that'll happen… I have to be there." You checked your phone. "And I my flight leaves soon, so I have to go now." You walked over to the couch and grabbed your suitcase, then back up to Illinois.

"Alright." He nodded. You gently kissed him, and pulled away all too soon for his liking.

"I love you! Goodbye!" You said as you walked past him to your car.

"Love you too…" he answered. You put your suitcase in the trunk and got into the driver's seat. You waved goodbye to Illinois as you pulled out of the driveway and headed to the airport.

Illinois stood at the doorway for a minute. So, he couldn't spend time with you. That was fine! You were a fantastic photographer, he couldn't blame people for wanting to hire you all the way from Brazil. He'd miss you a bit, but he'd be fine. I mean, you spent days, even weeks on end without him. He'd be completely fine.

--

Illinois was completely not fine. It had been three days since you left and he already felt like dying. How the hell did you last without him? More importantly, how was he supposed to survive without you?

The first day was probably the best one. He slept on the couch because of how tired he was. When he woke up in the morning, he went through the basics. He took a shower, washed his face, changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, and ate breakfast. He usually woke up before you, so he knew how to cook for himself. He was pretty awake when he got up, so he didn't make any coffee. He just made some of your chamomile tea. It was really good, he didn't know why he didn't try it before. He went through the rest of a pretty boring day. He watch TV, read a book, made lunch, watched some more TV, went through all of his trophies from adventures, made dinner, then fell asleep.

The second was a bit more chaotic. He was more tired that day than the first day, but he made tea instead of coffee again. He remembered you had told him that a brownie recipe you knew went very well with the tea, so he tried to make it. You were out of eggs, so he went to the store to buy some. Once he did, he got started on the brownies.

Now when I say he set the kitchen on fire, this dumbass set the kitchen on fucking fire.

He had made the batter and put it into a pan, and then into the oven. He decided to watch TV while he waited on the brownies. He landed on a Hallmark Christmas romance movie. That was a bad idea, because he fell asleep almost instantly.

He awoke to the smell of smoke and the alarm frantically beeping. He jumped up and ran into the kitchen. He swung the oven open and threw the extremely burnt baking onto the floor. He grabbed a nearby towel and waved at the air until the alarm stopped He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, noticing he was sweating.

"Well, that's unfortunate," he sighed. He looked at the time. 10:24. There was still time for brunch.

He decided to make an omelette for himself.

He made the omelette for the most part, and let it sit on the stove for a minute. He wanted to make sure it was just right. he walked over to the couch and sat down, deciding to rest his eyes for a minute. The brownie incident was very stressful. Yet again, instead of just sitting there, he fell asleep.

For the second time this same damn day, Illinois woke up to the smell of smoke and the fire alarm beeping like mad. this time, he didn't jump up because he didn't think it'd be that bad. he slowly walked into the kitchen and almost screamed when he saw that his omelet was currently on fire. He panicked, not knowing what to do, because you two had an electric stove. What was he supposed to do? Throw some water on it? He looked around for a moment before seeing the towel he had to use to wave the smoke away. He grabbed it and threw it on top of the piece of breakfast, patting it to make sure it died. After about a minute, he gently lifted the towel. The fire was out. He sighed and, again, waved the smoke from the smoke alarm to get it to stop beeping. Illinois quit trying to make breakfast and just took some of your cereal. He honestly thought that that was going to catch on fire as well, so he stayed a little bit away from it at all times. Once he finished his cereal and his tea, he went back to the couch and just collapsed. he decided that another quick nap was in order, given the chaos that happened that day.

The rest of the day was pretty calm. He watched TV, went to the store to buy some other food, made lunch, watched some more TV, read a book and got takeout for dinner because he didn't feel like cooking again.

The third day was the one where he finally started to feel the effects of you not being there. It was a Wednesday. You always woke up early on Wednesday. He wasn't sure why, and neither were you. But you always woke up at the same time as him and made breakfast. He always made the coffee before hand so you can be more awake. And that's exactly what he did. He woke up, went through the motions, went into the kitchen, and made coffee. He got two mugs from the pantry and set them down on opposite sides of the table. When eating breakfast, you two always sat across from each other so you could talk. Illinois poured coffee into both of the cups and sat down. He stared across from his seat at the table for a moment, seeing the empty chair, and realizing that you were, in fact, not here.

And then he broke down.

He missed you. Oh, God, he missed you so much. How long were you supposed to be going? A month? And how long have you been gone? 3 days? He wouldn't make it. He couldn't make it. He started to pace around the kitchen.

"Ok… ok… you're ok…" he told himself. "You've been away from them for a longer amount of time, you can handle a month."

But the thing about Illinois being away from you for long, long, long amounts of time was that he had something to do. He'd be on an adventure. He'd be in some temple ruins, or a cave, or something of the sort running for his life. But this time, you were the one with the job, and he had absolutely nothing to do. Illinois didn't have many friends, mostly because he adventured so much. He was honestly pretty surprised when you agreed to date him. Now he realized why you wanted to spend more time together.

Okay. Okay. This was fine. He just had to find something to do… What did normal people do when they were bored?

He went to the museum. It was pretty interesting, and they were doing a lecture on treasures that he had donated there. He figured that could be pretty fun. He soon found that trying to correct to the tour guide on every single thing he was saying was not the best thing to do, because he got kicked out.

The next day, he went to the zoo. He informs people on the different types of spiders and bats and bugs that lived in caves. Heated ventured for so long that he figured it would be smart to learn the kind of animals he'd come into contact with when he went somewhere. Everyone was very interested in it, until he decided to take a tarantula out of its enclosure. Again, he got kicked out.

Third time's a charm. The next day, he went to the park. He sat on a bench and read a book and watched the kids play on the playground. One kid walked up to him and asked him if he was in an adventurer.

"Why, yes I am," he said smugly, "do you want to be one when you grow up?"

"No, you just remind me of Indiana Jones," the child answered. Illinois' hand squeezed the book in anger.

"Well, could Indiana Jones do this?" He asked while unsheathing his gun. He shot a nearby tree a few times to make a smiley face. He smirked at the kid.

"Probably," they shrugged and walked away from him. He snarled.

"Fuckin' kids…" he mumbled. A parent had apparently called the police on him, because he ended up in jail. They told him he had a phone call, so he called Mark.

"Hey, Mark! So, uh… I'm in jail," he said, trying to keep his cool, "I need you to come get me…"

"Dammit!" Mark cursed.

"What's wrong?"

"I bet Wilford that you would get arrested a week after Y/N left." He explained. "He bet 4-5 business days…"

"Ha! Told you!" Illinois heard another voice from Mark's end of the line.

"Oh, shut up!" Mark yelled. "Listen, uh… I'll get there soon as I can. Bye." He said and hung up. Illinois sighed and slumped on a bench.

This was gonna be a long month…

--

Illinois had the most boring month of his entire fucking life. For the first half of it, he sat in his living room, watching romcoms and almost crying because he wanted to be lovey-dovey with you. Why should these assholes get to be together? They were cheating on the one girl's boyfriend! She can have two spouses, but he can't be with his one?

For the second half, Illinois stopped being such a pissy little fuck and actually did things. He learned how to play the guitar, he finished three books, and he painted a picture from a Bob Ross video.

It was awful.

He was so completely bored without you. He hadn't realized how much you'd improved his life up to that point. You two had figured out how to video call halfway through the month, but you were almost always busy or asleep when he was ready. It was horrible.

But now, it was over.

You got back today.

And Illinois was fucking elated.

He jumped into his car and went through three red lights to get there, not to mention he was going 50mph in a 40mph zone. This man was going to die before he was late. He didn't even give a shit he was 5 hours early, he was gonna fucking wait for you at the airport. He brought a blanket and snacks, he'd be fine.

He took a nap after an hour, and woke up three hours after that. For the next two hours, he looked at pictures of you and thought about what he'd do with you when you got back. Finally, the time came when your plane was supposed to land. He knew it'd be a bit after that, but he stuffed his blanket and leftover snacks in his backpack and ran up to where you were supposed to enter the airport. He didn't have a sign, which he probably should have, but he'd find you soon enough. He looked through the crowd of people exiting the plane. All he saw were old rich people and young rich people. He looked across the herd of people, searching for any hint of your suitcase. You had gotten annoyed with the fact that you kept mistaking yours for other people's, so he bought you a neon rainbow suitcase. That didn't seem to be very useful at this point in time. He felt a buzz on his thigh. Groaning, he checked his phone. It was a text from Mark.

Hey! It said, Is Y/N home yet?

Illinois growled.

That's what I'm looking for.

Tell me when you see them

Sure thing. Illinois shoved the phone back into his pants, continuing his search. He suddenly saw a flash of color out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head to the side.

There you were, trudging your suitcase along the floor. Your hair was all over the place, you were dragging your feet, and even from where he was, he saw the bags under your eyes. You were a hot mess.

In his eyes, you were an angel on Earth.

He wanted to be patient and keep up his suave persona. He noticed himself bouncing in his spot a bit, a smile forming on his lips. If he waited any longer, he swore to God he was going to explode. He eventually decided it wasn't worth it, and dashing over to you.

You were so tired. You were so, so very tired. The people who hired you were so nice, but they never fucking slept. Anytime they did something, they wanted you to take a picture of it. Mostly because they'd just gotten married, and you could respect their enthusiasm, but holy shit. Not to mention the PARADE. You got no rest. None. You couldn't wait to get home and just relax with your boyfriend…

Speaking of which, wasn't he supposed to pick you up?

You saw something coming towards you in your peripheral vision and turned, only to see said boyfriend sprinting at you. You opened your mouth to scream, but the wind was knocked out of you by Illinois pulling you into the tightest hug you've ever experienced and you simply wheezed.

"Oh my God, I missed you so much," he nearly cried, "do not ever do that to me again, please…" in response, you coughed. He realized you were having trouble inhaling and loosed his grip. He didn't let go.

"I missed you too…" you wheezed. He stood holding you for a second. A couple of girls giggled as they walked past you two. You flushed.

"Illinois, you're embarrassing me…" you whined.

"Oh?" He asked, the smirk audible in his voice. He pulled out of the hug and crashed his lips against yours. You basically collapsed into it and he had to hold you up against his body. He pulled away after a minute. You sighed.

"Can we go home now?" You pleaded.

"Of course, darlin'! We gotta spend some time together!" He answered. You let out a soft whimper.

Looks like you weren't getting your rest anytime soon.

my phone's at 5% lololol.

[matkomakto]

How was it to be a volunteer in Italy?

In this post I want to describe my experience as an AIESEC volunteer in Bologna (I posted a lot during this period on my Instagram). My project was related to SDG4, or in other words Quality Education. The name of my NGO is EduChange. What I did in practice was teaching English and giving presentations about Poland and Polish culture to Italian children at the age of 9-10 (and once 14, but that’s a different story). I will put a line now, so that if you’re not interested you won’t have to scroll like crazy.

ARRIVAL

I don’t want to describe the whole procedure of applying, it’s very easy and nothing really happens. Before you leave you have two meetings - one in your local AIESEC and the other via Internet with the one you’re going to. My journey starts on January, 17th. In the morning I entered a bus to Kraków, from where I departed at 4pm to Venice, and then to Bologna. Venice welcomed me with rain (I got a little cold because of that, but Gripex saved my life once again) and so did Bologna. The whole journey took 26 hours (yes, I went by bus and you can’t judge me). Somewhere on my way my first host-mum, Mary, messaged me wishing me a good journey and asking if I was safe (and in this sentence you have everything about this woman - always kind and caring <3). A few hours later, my other host-mum, Chiara, who was supposed to take me from the station messaged me too. At the station I was welcomed by Chiara and Matilde, one of my new sisters (in general, now I have 3 sisters and 1 brother). In the car I met Davide, dad, and Carlotta, my other sister (or daughter, as some people would say). After a short conversation, I realised we were in the house of Mary, where I was about to spend next 3 weeks of my life. I was tired af, but it’s understandable, I think. I messaged my buddy, Marie Claire (oh, haven’t told you about her — a buddy is a person from bolognese AIESEC, who takes care of you, a kind of nanny I’d say) and my manager, Sofia. And then I had dinner and went to sleep. I was sleeping from 14.00 till 11.00 on Sunday. I had no idea what would happen next.

FERRARA

I woke up when nobody was at home. It was a bit creepy tbh. On the table I found a note “We’ll be home at 12, eat anything you want” (I didn’t, my stomach was still acting as if I were in the bus). When the whole family, it means — Mary, Andrea, Athina and Achille, came back, they told me “We’re going to Ferrara”. I thought “What is Ferrara?”. It’s a beautiful town near Bologna, where we spent an amazing afternoon. I didn’t know anything about this town, and even if Mary and Andrea tried their best as guides, I spent a whole evening using Google Maps to identify objects I had seen. Among them were the Cathedral, Palazzo Muncipale, Castello Estense, Palazzo dei Diamanti and Via delle Volte. I ate a delicious cake, which name I don’t remember, filled with Nutella. Achille kept complaining “Maddalena’s cake is the best!” (they all  ok, almost all called me Maddalena, which is Italian version of Magdalena). In the evening we played all three in the living room and I was texted by Serena, an English teacher from one schools I was going to teach in, also one of my best bolognese friends. With her message I became both excited and anxious about the next day.

FIRST DAY(S)

All the anxiety disappeared when I entered the first school. The children were so lovely and cheerful that I fell in love with them (in a good meaning ofc) instantly. On the first lesson I was just sitting and doing nothing. Then, Serena came, and I was helping her to answer children’s questions during a final test. Believe me, there were hundreds of them. I came home tired, but happy. And finally I became hungry and ate everything I was offered (I always have a problem with eating far from home). The next day meant another school. It was less pleasant as a building, as Mary described it - it looked more like a hospital. Nevertheless, both the teachers and the students again were pure love. In the canteen I sat with 5 boys, who were supposed to make an interview with me. I felt as if I had been watching Familiada live. Then, one of the teachers came to our table hugging one boy saying “Ask him as often as you can. He’s my son”. Lovely, isn’t it? XD In the next class two girls came to me, giving me a drawing (I have it still in my diary). When I asked in Italian if it was for me, I heard a loud, full of shock “LEI CAPISCEEEEEEEEE”. One of the funniest things during these first days is that nobody knew I spoke Italian, and seeing their faces as they discovered it was a very entertaining activity. Wednesday was my day out, I’ll describe it later. On Thursday and on Friday I went to the third school. I ended up in Athina’s class and believe me, it’s really hard to be in one class with your sibling. Fun fact, both English teachers in that school are Rosannas, which confused me a bit these days.

DISCOVERING BOLOGNA

Finally, on my free Wednesday I got an opportunity to go to the centre. I remember my heartbeat when the bus no.13 entered the centre, it was fulfilling of a dream I made as a 13-year-old girl. I walked through Via d’Azeglio and found myself in Piazza Maggiore. Do you remember that scene from Home Alone, where Kevin realises he’s home alone and walks along screaming as crazy? It was me at the moment (but I screamed internally, don’t be scared). I entered Basilica (which I loved and I came back there several times, even twice on the same day). When I went out, I met Marie Claire. She was my guide that day, we had a great time as she showed me Bologna and its 6 secrets (google it). Later I was supposed to go on an AIESEC meeting (there were 2 meetings and Global Village). I continued my trip around city centre from Saturday till Monday, even if the weather wasn’t as great as on Wednesday. Also, on Saturday we spent a few hours “occupando Italia in un Irish pub” with other volunteers. On that day I discovered KIKO Milano, which is now my #1 makeup brand, I’m addicted to it, sorry if I’m a disappointment.

WEEK #2

I was about to write “Nothing interesting really happened”. But damn, I survived a power shortcut in one of the schools, I ate a true Italian pizza and gelato for the first time, I prepared 120 minutes of lesson in 5 minutes because the teacher was absent, I got engaged into “International Mother Tongue Day” organised by one of my schools, I bought a pair of beautiful shoes, I started to enjoy my new social life (volunteers, ily’all and miss y’all <3) and I managed to organise my first trip completely on my own. If that’s nothing then I don’t know what it is. Oh yes, my famous trips, or as I heard from some people “you have too much money”. Let’s remember the first one.

ROME

No matter how hard I try to overcome it, the very first thing I remember about Rome is the pain in my feet. If you’re ever in Rome, please children, don’t go there in brand-new shoes and try not to walk 21,5 km in a single day. As a true Polish, I will start with complaining. I waited 1,5h for a bus and it didn’t have a machine to buy tickets, as they have in Bologna (Bologna-Rome 1:0). On Saturday, despite not the best weather, I made a beautiful trip from Basilica Papale di Santa Maria Maggiore, through Colloseum, Forum Romanum, Altare della Patria, Palazzo Colonna, Fontanna di Trevi, Piazza Navona, Castel Sant’Angelo to the Vatican City and its museum (I have an illegal photo from Sistine Chapel, but shh). My friends volunteers, who also were in Rome, wanted me to go with them to Trastevere, but believe me, I was dying. The next day I did the check out before 8am and I enjoyed empty Rome on Sunday morning, it was amazing. I visited Trinità dei Monti. It was almost empty, @turbinis​ told me I was very lucky, so I will make you see how my luck looks like:

INDEED.IT.WAS.EMPTY.AND.ONE.HOUR.LATER.I.CAME.BACK.THERE.AND.IT.WAS.FULL.OF.PEOPLE.

WEEK #3

In one class there was a Polish boy. Whenever I saw him, he was yelling “CZEEEŚĆ” and whenever I told something about Poland all the children looked at him in the way “Do you confirm what she’s saying?” This week also brought me two great memories with my bro, Achille. He was sick and out of school and this week he was supposed to be back. He was a bit depressed and thought he would have to study all night. Oh, I forgot about the deep existential question he asked me two weeks before: “Have you ever loved someone on this Earth?”. Deep, you must admit. Another time, he was watching cartoons. When his cartoon ended, they started a cartoon for younger kids. He got offended, switched off the tv and took off the battery from the remote control, because “he won’t watch things for babies”. I remember that one day I became extremely hungry and the next day I went to Café Zamboni (coming back from Pinacoteca, which was amazing btw) and ate so much, that I could barely walk XD. I started realising that I want to go to Erasmus here. It was also a week of Sanremo, I remember with laugh how Athina tried to show her dad the performance of Achille Lauro and poor babbo was running away from her and her phone (I was team Gabbani, although now, when I’m writing this, I hear a loud “FAAAAAI RUMOOORE QUIIIII”). On Friday I got compliments from Rosanna and Rosanna for being a good teacher. They really liked how I had substituted Rosanna#1 the week before. Having my wings grown, I started my next trip, using Frecciarossa for the first time.

NAPLES

Although you may not believe it, it was the first time I had seen the sea. Moreover, I saw it for the first time in the same place as did Elena Greco in “L’amica geniale”, but I realised it a few weeks later. Getting out of the hostel, I went down Via Toledo, Galleria Umberto I, Castel Nuovo to Piazza del Plebiscito. I swear, I will fight anyone who says that Naples is dirty/ugly/both. Also, everyone was telling me about thieves, but somehow I didn’t get stolen. After I finished a gelato on Piazza, I went to the sea. It was one of the most beautiful feelings I’ve ever experienced. I thought “Screw all the sightseeing, you will do it tomorrow. Enjoy the sea today”, and so I did. I followed Lungomare all the time, passing along Castel dell’Ovo to the Mappatella beach. As it was the first time I saw the sea, the beach was also a whole new experience. Kids, never ever go to the beach in winter shoes, did you know? Because I didn’t. Probably I would watch a sunset there, but I got a bit scared with all those theft-stories and I was in the hostel before it got dark (I watched the sunset on Piazza del Plebiscito though). On Sunday I went from Santa Maria del Carmine, via Via San Biagio dei Librai and Via dei Tribunali to the Cathedral, Piazza Nazionale and train station. I arrived in Bologna at 11pm tired, but happy.

WEEK #4

In the middle of my stay, I moved to my second host family. At the beginning it was a bit weird (just like every time you change your life 180°). Everything changed the next evening, when I stayed home alone with my sisters and their nanny. We had a great time playing games and joking. Although I’m still ashamed that I lose in Mario, which was the game of MY childhood :C. That week another AIESEC meeting took place. Even two meetings, because on February, 14th there was a Global Village. It was a great event, even if I couldn’t enjoy it till the end, because the next day I had to wake up early. For the train. Btw, it was a Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it? I received some sweet cards from my students and it made my heart melt. After school we met with Marie Claire, who showed me something that now I miss a lot - tigelle.

FLORENCE

I woke up with a strong “oh shit” feeling. But as I realised I’m going to Florence, I got up and got ready in 20 minutes. Everyone was still sleeping, though I woke up Chiara when I tried to open the door. It was a cursed day for trains, I think. The train to Florence had too few wagons (I was assigned #9, but there were only 7, though they let me in) and the train from Florence was 40min delayed (I got into precisely on time I should get off in Bologna). I spent a wonderful day, mostly contemplating Il Duomo. Seriously, I took 42 photos of it, which makes almost a half of all photos taken in Florence. I can’t resist to put here at least one:

When I arrived to Ponte Vecchio, I saw a beautiful exhibition of jewelry. Really, it was so beautiful, that I couldn’t stop watching it. I even took a photo of it. As I started to continue my trip I said to myself “Magdalena, you will regret it till the end of your life!” So I came back and bought one bracelet. For 130€. Do I regret it? No. Would I regret if I hadn’t bought it? Yes. I will even show it to you.

One of the most important highlights is the visit to Capelle Medicee - if you ever go to Florence, go there, it costs only 2€ if you’re below 25 (or 26 idk). I enjoyed an amazing view from Giardini Boboli, saw another Neptun Fountain (like, Italians, aren’t you done with them yet???) and took a rest in front of Santa Croce. As a nice finish, I watched the sunset by the Cathedral.

WEEK #5

That Sunday (yes, now I start with Sunday, why not) Chiara woke me up early in the morning and we went to Matilde’s training (she plays rugby and btw Athina plays tennis and Carlotta does skating, I’m really proud of them). After the match (Matilde’s team won ofc) we went to Chiara’s parents. Oh my, I had never thought that people who had never seen me before would treat me as if I were their granddaughter, because that’s what I felt. I don’t remember if I ever had such a dinner, in such an atmosphere. I miss nonna’s tortellini, no one will ever prepare me better ones. In the evening, we played Dixit (a bit of Katowice flashback), the best game ever and don’t even try to say something different. Monday and Tuesday were the days of saying goodbye, since next week these days were supposed to be free. On Wednesday I spent a nice afternoon/evening with Heloísa, my Brasilian friend. We both didn’t know then that we will miss going out so much. On Thursday and on Friday I was a bit sick, I don’t know whether it was just a cold, a beginning of flu or covid-19, which everyone believes me to have had. Nevermind, on Saturday I was completely well.

SAN LUCA

San Luca is a sanctuary located on a hill near Bologna. You can go there on foot, through 666 “portici”. So did I with my host-mom Chiara and Carlotta. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I remember Carlotta running fast up the stairs and being tired when we went down. My sister has a big, pure heart. She gave her chocolate to a homeless man. Also, on that day she became my daughter. At least for the woman in the souvenir shop. (If you ask about Matilde, she was on a soccer game with her dad)

WEEK #6 HOW IT ALL COLLAPSED

Here, I should describe my last week in Italy. But I won’t.

It all started on Sunday morning. I had bought train tickets to Venice and Rimini a few days before. Chiara said “Do you know, there are more and more cases of coronavirus in Venice, in the evening there will be an official communicate. Consider not going there tomorrow”. All I said was “Okay.”. But really, I had no fear of this virus, I even thought I would take advantage of it, because panic means it will be less crowded, no? In the afternoon I went to the centre. In Piazza Maggiore, Via dell’Indipendenza and near the Two Towers people were celebrating the end of the carnival. As I don’t like crowded spaces, I went for a walk near Via San Vitale and Strada Maggiore. As the sun started to set, I decided to go back home. I received a message from AIESEC members that all schools in Emilia Romagna are closed. “A whole free week, cool” I thought. But as the new messages appeared I realised, that there would be no Venice tomorrow. They wrote “Please, don’t travel”. But then it was not my problem. I wanted to get into a bus, but somehow all the bus stops were empty. I had to go back on foot. Have I mentioned that I lived about 5 km from the centre? So, it was a long walk. As I walked, I tried to think what I would do for a whole week as probably the girls will go to grandparents’ and Chiara and Davide have their works. With Chiara we made a decision, I have to go back to Poland. We contacted a few members, about an hour later I had new bus tickets on my phone. We went to a supermarket, it was as if a war was coming. 5 minutes before closing the shop was full of people. And empty on shelves a few minutes later. At 10pm we drove to grandparents to leave the girls there. It was one of the hardest farewells in my life. You can ask why, they are not even your family. Maybe because I remember Carlotta’s words, when they both occupied the whole sofa and I asked “Oh, there’s no longer place for me, is there?” she answered “There will always be a place for you here”. Maybe because I remember Matilde’s head on my shoulder when we were on the way. Maybe because I remember how grandma treated me as her real granddaughter giving me some food and her confitures to Poland. Maybe because all these people showed me more familiar love and affection in these 5 weeks than I received from my real family. Maybe because they still text me asking how I’m doing. Maybe.

I stayed awake till 3am, making my suitcase and handbags. On Monday I went to school, which was closed, to make a closing meeting and to say goodbye to my first host-family. I went for a last coffee and pizza to my favourite restaurant nearby and came back home. I watched tv all the afternoon and had a farewell-pizza as a supper (2 pizzas in a day, very healthy, Magdalena). On Tuesday at 6am I was in a bus heading to Prague and then to Kraków. Instead of watching the sea in Rimini, I was watching some fields somewhere between Kraków and my town.

To make a happy end, it was the time of my life, I’d write something better here but it’s almost 1:30am when I write this, so sorry :C

[cammi-writes]

Title: Chuck’s Wrath

Part: part 1 | part 2 |

a/n | warnings: mentions of death, throwback to before the apocalypse, blood addicted Sam aka Dick Sam, emotionally abusive relationship, descriptions of torture | I haven’t written any Supernatural fics in sooooo long lmao but my 13yo sister and 10yo brother just got into the show (they just watched John sacrifice himself for Dean) and I saw fetus Sammy and got inspired!!! Some things you should know are the reader is Bobby’s only daughter and she’s known the boys her whole life. When John gets captured by Azazel and the boys exorcise Meg at Bobby’s house, she goes with them and continues to hunt with them after all the Azazel stuff.

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Tags: message me if you want to be tagged

Sam and Dean were frozen in the theatre, courtesy of Chuck who sat to their left, popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth with a shit-eating grin.

“I never wanted a movie adaption of the Supernatural books. I felt like they would suck the raw emotion out of it.” Chuck explained. “I mean you saw Supernatural the musical.” He made a face of distaste. “But they were just kids so I had to pretend like it was good.”

“What the hell is this?” Dean grunted out.

“Just watch.” Chuck focused his attention to the screen as the reel started to play. “You remember this, right Dean?”

You stood outside the motel room door, a lump in your throat and tears in your eyes as you heard her moans. When you heard Sam’s deep groan, you instantly turned away. He was screwing the black-eyed whore in your motel room...

“Y/n?” Dean’s gruff voice spoke and you quickly blinked away the tears.

“Hey Dean” You forced your usual happy smile but this time it was filled with pain. “I just forgot my motel key and I don’t think Sam is in there-” You were cut off by a loud porn star like moan.

“Ruby’s in there, isn’t she?” Dean’s voice was a mix of anger and sympathy.

“Yeah.” Your voice broke. Sam and you had been together for around a year. Your first kiss had been while Dean was in his coma... Your first time was the night his father sold his soul to save Dean... You had finally made it official when he returned from the dead after Dean made the demon deal.

“Come on...” Dean grabbed your hand a led you away from the motel.

“Where are we going?” You sniffled.

“Somewhere... quiet” Dean gave you a soft smile. Something you hadn’t seen from him before. Something you never would have expected since the way he’s been acting since he got back from Hell.

Sam gave Dean a confused but broken look. Sam thought about you everyday since you disappeared from his life but he could never find you because the end of the world always seemed to loom in the distance.

“Turn it off.” Dean begged Chuck. The desperate tone that he only used when his family was in danger leaked into his voice. He didn’t want Sam to see what was about to happen...

There was a park on the other side of the woods that laced the edge of the motel you guys were staying at. That’s where Dean had lead you to.

“I’ve been in love with him since we were kids. I thought... I thought for the first time in my life I had gotten what I wanted.” You whispered as Dean and you walked down the dirt path.

“I know...” Dean whispered.

“I should have expected this though. My life has never been this easy.” You let your tears fall.

Both of you were quiet for a while before you decided to ask a question that had burning at the back of your mind.

“What happened?” Dean looked up at you when you asked. “Down there, I mean...”

Dean stared at you for a while, lost in thought. A pained look on his face as he remembered the things that he had done. But the way you shivered when the wind blew snapped him out of it and he shrugged his jacket off for you.

“A lot of things I’m not proud of.” Dean draped the jacket over your shoulders.

“We all do things we’re not proud of.” You tried to comfort him while sinking into his jacket to escape the cold, the smell of pine and old leather embracing you. A smell that reminded you of him.

“You’re not proud of accidentally killing a person while exorcising a demon.” Dean glared at the ground. “I-I tortured people, Y/n. I hurt them. I wasn’t strong enough so I sank to there level.”

“Dean.” You grabbed his bicep, ignoring the shock in your veins. “We all do things to survive. The only thing important is that you survived. You made it back to us.”

“I liked it.” Dean’s teary eyes met yours. “I liked hurting people down there. What does that make me? A survivor? Or a monster?”

Dean looked away, scared of seeing the look of disgust on your face from his confession but when your soft hand cupped his cheek to make him look at you, all he saw was a soft, caring look in your eyes.

He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe it was the fact that you were alone and Sam was screwing a demon in the bed you both had shared. Or maybe it was the way you were looking at him as if he hadn’t just admitted to being a sadist in hell.

“I wish you had fell for me instead.”

“What?” You furrowed your brows curiously.

“I mean... I just don’t like seeing you upset. If it was us... I wouldn’t be hooking up with a demon. I’d be here, with you.” Dean gave you another gentle smile, something confusing you even more.

“You are here with me, Dean.” You shyly turned away. Confused by the pounding of your heart. Maybe it was because Dean was here for you while Sam was sleeping with Ruby. Or maybe it was because you were actually feeling something for him.

“Exactly.” Dean spoke, making you turn towards him, just in time for Dean to connect his lips to yours.

Dean stared at himself on the screen. He was feeling all the same emotions he had felt when he kissed you all those years ago. That wasn’t just Dean stealing another one of Sam’s dates. This was different. That was something Dean had rarely felt in his life.

Sam stared at Dean with anger and betrayal. Sam knew about Dean’s habit of stealing girls from him but never with someone he actually cared about and loved. Dean would always gloat about it to his face but he had never mentioned this to him. He never even suspected it. What else had you two done behind his back?

“How could you?” Sam hissed.

“Sammy...” The gut wrenched look on Dean’s face told Sam that what he had just saw was different... It wasn’t the same as all the other girls.

The screen flashed to a new scene.

“Oh! This is my favorite part!” Chuck got the attention of the demoralized brothers.

“You can’t go!” You grabbed Sam’s arm. “You can’t go by yourself with Ruby to kill Lilith.”

“Let go of me.” Sam roughly shrugged his arm from you, making you stumble back.

“Sam, please.” You sobbed, the tears leaking down your face. “Do you really think this is the right thing to do? Drinking demon blood! Sleeping with a goddamn demon?!”

Sam glared at you, making you shrink away.

“You sound like, Dean.” Sam shook his head, continuing to pack his bags. Your heart dropped at the sound of Dean’s name like it always did, ever since your kiss at the park all those months ago.

All of the secret kisses, the late night talks when Sam would disappear with Ruby, the days where he would hold you as you cried about the way Sam was acting... The feelings that were sprouting because of all of that. The way they made you wonder why you were still trying to salvage your relationship with Sam. You had seen how Dean had stopped the random hookups since your kiss while Sam, your boyfriend, cheated on you repeatedly with a demon nevertheless.

“I’m scared for you, Sam. I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.” The words sounded familiar but the feeling it gave off was foreign. Did you not love him anymore? “I’m your girlfriend...”

“I don’t love you and you’re not my girlfriend anymore.” Sam sounded cold. “I haven’t loved you for months and you’re just annoying me now. I’m with Ruby. I’ve been making it as obvious as I can and you just won’t take the hint.”

With that he slammed the motel room door. You felt scared for him. You felt like you needed to stop him. Like he was making a big mistake. But you didn’t feel heartbroken and that told you that you didn’t love Sam anymore like you had thought.

“He finally broke the news, huh?” You glared at the demon to your left.

“Go away, Ruby.” You hissed. “Isn’t he going to meet you-” Maybe it was the fact that you had been working with her for awhile that made you turn away without fear of what happened next.

You were still in the motel room when you woke up. Tied to the motel room bed. It was hazy but you could make out Ruby standing in front of you.

“You’re finally awake.” Ruby gave you a malice smirk.

“I knew it.” You groaned at the throbbing headache that formed as the result of getting hit in the head by whatever Ruby had used.

“Too bad, Sammy didn’t.” Ruby rolled her eyes. “You know I was supposed to kill you the night you cheated on him but well after that heated performance I didn’t think you were a problem anymore.”

“Screw you.” You pulled at your restraints. “If I’m not a problem then why am I tied up?”

Ruby gave a grin that made you shiver in fear. “I have some time to spare before Sam makes it to where I’m supposed to be. Dean’s busy so he won’t be coming back for a couple of hours. And I really don’t like you.”

3 hours and 42 minutes of extreme torture. She had started by cutting deep wounds in your stomach and continued lower... She filleted your feet and skinned random parts of your body. One of your ears were torn off at some point. Your wrists and ankles were raw from where you had been pulling on your restraints. Your fingernails were on the floor somewhere and by now all you could see was your own red blood soaking the bed sheets.

You don’t know how you hadn’t bled out by now but you had wished you did. There was no coming back from this. If you had somehow survived... there wouldn’t be a life worth living after. Even though you had believed that, when you heard the rumbling of the Impala, hope sparked in you. Dean was back. He could save you. He could stop her and save the world. Ruby had explained to you her entire plan while torturing you. How Sam killing Lilith was the final seal to release Lucifer.

“Dean.” The gargled, quiet plea was silenced by Ruby as she used her knife to quickly slice your tongue off. The pain the seared through your body as she shoved the pillowcase into your mouth when there was a knock on the door.

You watched as she quickly changed her clothes and cleaned the blood off of her arms. She strutted across the room to the door. He won’t see you from that angle...

“Where’s Y/n?” You heard Dean demand when Ruby peaked her head out.

“With Sam, obviously.” Ruby rolled her eyes.

“This is their room.” You could hear the undertone of hurt in his voice.

“She wasn’t too keen on well... using the same bed as Sam and I.” Ruby shrugged. “They’re four rooms down.”

“I’ll go make sure myself.” Dean glared at Ruby and stalked down towards the door, fully prepared to bang on the door... Until he heard the familiar sound of a headboard banging on the wall. In a moment he felt his heart tear before pushing it down and backing away.

“I warned you.” Ruby grinned as Dean stalked past her with an angry look on his face.

A gargled noise left your mouth as tears left a clean stream of skin down your face.

“That’s actually some prostitute and a senator but Dean doesn’t know that.” Ruby spoke quieter, now that she knew Dean was in his room adjacent to yours.  “He really loves you, did you know that?”

A strangled noise left your mouth.

“I’m going to mix your blood in with the demon blood Sam’s going to drink.” Ruby grinned. “I’ll tell him once he free’s Lucifer.”

And then in a quick slash, your throat was opened and you quickly bled out of existence.

Sam and Dean stared in horror as the screen faded away. They didn’t know... They didn’t know that Ruby had slaughtered you like that.

“So much emotion. I really outdid myself there.” Chuck stood, clapping as the lights turned on.

“I could have saved her.” Dean whispered. He felt dizzy and exhausted.

“Both of us could have.” Sam felt nauseous and disgusted with himself.

“No-No.” Dean spat angrily. “You were jacked up on demon blood. You weren’t yourself. I was. I should have known. I should have-”

“Don’t- just don’t” Chuck cut him off with that familiar dissatisfied look. “Just enjoy my gift while it lasts.”

And then he was gone and the brothers were free to move.

“You-You loved her?” Sam spoke after a few moments of silence.

Dean nodded as he sat on one of the chairs with his head in his hands. He couldn’t get the image of you, tortured and broken on that bed out of his head. A new nightmare to plague his sleep. One worse than all.

“It was just a crush when we were kids.” Dean spoke, trying to hide the fact the emotions he was feeling. “And then you guys got together and I was annoyed and then I got back from hell and... she was so sad.”

“Because of me...” Sam felt his heart break again at the thought of you.

“I never... I never slept with her.” Dean looked up at Sam. “There were a few kisses and some nights where she would sleep in my bed with me. But I never took in any further because I knew that you loved her too. I knew that it wasn’t you hurting her. But I couldn’t let her think that nobody was going to treat her right-”

“I get it.” Sam nodded. “I just thought she was alive somewhere. Hunting, living her life.”

“I thought she would have been married by now. With kids... A normal life.” Dean closed his eyes when he felt his tears well up. “I hoped that she got out.”

It felt like they sat there in silence forever, lost in there own emotions before Dean’s phone rang.

“I’m not dealing with this shit right now-” Dean was fully ready to reject the call until he saw who was calling.

“What game is Chuck playing?” Sam growled when he saw who was calling.

A picture of you, smiling and alive was splayed onto Dean’s phone.

[issabakugodrangeel]

Moving day SKZ 10th Member Au

Summary: After agreeing to join the team Lisa schedules change to match with the rest of skz and she moves in with them getting a new roomate

warnings: none

Lisa’s P.O.V

The sound of my alarm woke me up again at 5:00am. I grab my phone to shut it off. I just sat on my bed with my messy hair replaying the events of yesterday. I let out a grunt and feel back down on my bed covering my face with the sheets.

Chan asked me to joined his team and I said eyes. If Ryu-jin and her squad ever finds out about this, they'll make my life a living hell. I'm gonna have to face it tho, they'll find out when I debut.

Pulling the sheets off me I went to get ready for another dreading day. I did my morning routine like doing my skin care, applying foundation (I never wear make up only cover up) did my hair, eat my small breakfast.  

My phone made a buzzing sound. checking it I got a text from Zelo. My eyes grew wide. 

(I know hyung is used for males but I don’t like using the word oppa and Lisa feels comfortable using hyung since being in B.A.P)

After texting Zelo I went to grab my stuff. 

----

Arriving at the JYP building Ryu-jin and her squad were already there. usually they be like 15 minutes late.

"Look it's 'that' again." Yeji points me out. I rolled my eyes and tried to block them out.

"Is it me or did she get more fat."Jisu whispered loud enough for me to hear.

I always have been concern about my weight. I was not skinny and didn't meet the weight expectations the company required but JYP let it slide when he found that If I try to lose weigh something wrong can go with my health. I'm not skinny nor fat just have a stomach to show. But I still got bothered by it. No one is supposed to know besides the staff and JYP.  I can't let them get to me tho.

"And she think's she gonna debut looking like that." Ryu-jin chuckles. She goes back talking with the others more gossip they have heard going around.

Honestly the only ones in this room was me and them. Since other have been paired up for a group and I haven't they put me with them because they had less members so there would be enough space. But when Chan let's me know more about the survival show I won't have to put up with them.

You'll probably wondering why I haven't told anyone that I'm getting bullied, right? Well who believe a American/Mexican foreigner that they are? Not trying to be races but like I work really hard to get here I'm not gonna let them ruin it for me. If I do they'll just call me a snitch and stuff and I don't any of that in my life.

It was hard enough to get my parents to let me come here. They gave me no support on this what's so ever. Is also one of the reason's I kinda got close to Felix. Not just because we're both foreigners but because our parents gave us no support. 

A few minutes later our dance instructor came in. And like always we act like nothing happened.

"Okay, lady's get warmed up." She told us while she set her stuff down.

"Ah, Lisa." She called out to me making me stop.

"JYP asked me to give you, your new schedules and plans." She handed me a stack of papers in a folder. I looked at them with wide eyes. It was big stack like pile of papers a teacher should grade.

"What for?" I asked I felt the ITZY members stair at me.

"Your new schedules with Stray Kids. Congratulations, Chan sure did make a good choice on picking you. You'll actually should be joining them now." She looks at the clock and goes back to what she's doing.

"I loved teaching you but you'll be much better with them. Good luck I'll rooting for you." She gave me a thumbs up.

I nervously smile as I can feel the death glare ITZY was giving me. Well, my secret is out.

"Wait why is 'SHE' going with them?" Yeji was the first to ask.

"Chan picked her to be the 10th female member of her group so she's going to be practicing with them now. Good luck Lisa mr. Cho said they're a hand full. Let's get back to practice girls." She goes over to the computer.

Just as I went to pick up my stuff and head out Ryu-jin holds on to my arm. "You won't get away with this." She whispered I pulled away and left. Let's see what you got.

-------

I reached the practice room I was supposed to be with Stray Kids. I stood outside the door shaking a bit. 'Why am I acting so nervous like this is my first time. I just met them yesterday and they love you.'

Taking a deep breath I place my hand on the door handle and open the door. I saw that they were on the floor doing nothing.

Chan was the first to notice me when I walked in. "Lisa, you're here." He smiles at me making everyone turn to look at me.

"LISA!" Felix jumps up and crushes me with a hug. "Whoa!" I stumble back a bit. I should've seen this coming, I forgot that he's a hugger. 

"Hey, Noona." the other's greeted me. Felix was still hanging on to me.

"I see you got the new schedules." Chan points the to stack of papers I was carrying on my left arm. I tried to nod with Felix on top of me.

"Ya! Yongbok you're crushing her." Changbin calls out from the ground. Felix sends him a death glare still not letting me go.

"No! She's my noona!" He whines sticking his tongue at him. I chuckled at his adorableness.

"She's 'OUR' noona too." Minho corrected him. Felix just hugged me tighter. 

"F-Felix, can't breath!" I patted his back. He may not look like it but the kid is strong.

"Fine!" Felix finally let go of me.

"You can set your stuff down over there." Woojin points to where the couch is. I nodded and went to get settle.

"I didn't know they were going to move me right away." I stated taking a seat on the ground with the others.

"JYP thought it be best so we can work on our team work. We'll be starting our survival show in two week. So we have to prepare everything." Chan explained.

"Two weeks?" I said in shocked.

"Yup. We're competing with another boy group and a girl group." Seungmin mentions.

"Oh, that reminds me. What are we gonna call ourselves if we debut?" Jisung asked We looked at him confused.

"Stray kids! idiot!" Minho gives hims the 'duh' look.

"No. I mean like since we were originally gonna be a boy group and we now have a female in the group are we still consider as a boy group or co-ed group?" Jisung explains what he was trying to say. That makes more sense.

"He's got a point." Hyunjin agreed. Everyone started thinking.

"I don't mind being mention as a boy group.” I spoke up.

"True, to be honest she acts like a boy sometimes." Felix teased smiling to himself. I glared at him.

"What was that?" I eyed him.

"Just saying, when we hang out during studying you're different how a girl would act. I don't mean it as a bad way. I meant it as a good way." Felix puts his hands up in defense.

"Yeah, that's what you better say." I said. The others just laughed.

"Are you sure you'll be okay with it?" Changbin asked me.

I nod my head. "I don't mind. It was the same thing with B.A.P anyways." I smiled.

“Right, I forgot you were a group before.” Woojin nods. 

"Marry me." Minho whispered but it was loud enough for us to ear. We gave him the 'what the fuck look'

He clears his throat. "Just saying our Noona rocks." He corrects himself.

"Really? You guys don't mind that I don't act girly?" I questioned them. I thought good looking guys would be more into girls like that.

"Nah, those type of girls scare us." Hyunjin mentions, waving his hand.

"There was this one girl we were training with that was harassing Jeongin." Seungmin told the story of the trainee. Jeongin's eyes went wide, like he just seen a ghost.

"Hyung!" He shouts, pouting.

"Why would you bring 'her' up?" Jisung shivered in fear as well. I raised my eyebrow.

"Was she that bad?" they looked at me if I was crazy.

"Bad? Try she was being a hoe." Changbin said.

"When Jeongin told us what she was doing we told JYP and he went to extreme removed her from the company right away. " Chan told more stories of this girl.

"JYP said he has high tolerance for that kinda behavior and cares for the artist safety." Woojin added. I tensed up. It's a good thing I haven't said anything about what ITZY have been doing to me because if they get kicked out who know's what they'll do to me.

"Alright, everyone ready?" Chan got us back on track. We all nod. “Okay, so first thing first is Lisa, JYP also wanted you to move dorms with us, if you’re okay with. It’s just so you won’t be alone and we don’t have to go one place to another.” Chan said. 

I nod understanding. “I’m fine with that it makes sense. Kinda used to it.” 

“So after, practice we’re going over to your place helping you pack everything.” Chan suggested standing up from the ground. 

“I call dibs sharing a room with Nonna!” Jisung shouted getting up as well. 

“Oh, hell no! Noona wouldn’t want to share a room with someone messy as you.” Hyunjin argued. 

“Hey! I ain’t that messy. Trust me Noona I’m clean.” Jisung runs to me. I laugh.

“Thats not fair! I wanna share a room with Noona.” Jeongin whined. 

“So do I!” Felix also frowns. 

“All right clam down. We’ll decide who Lisa get’s to room with once she gets settle in.” Chan stop the arguing. 

“Yes sir!” Everyone said in unison. These kids are honestly something else. 

------

Once practice ended. We headed over to my place and packed everything. When everything was packed we haded over to the boys dorms. 

“Welcome!” Chan greets as he opens the door to the dorms. 

“Welcome to our suite!” Jisung shouts. I laughed. I was amazed by their dorm. It was better than mine. 

“Wow! This is so much better than mine.” I said placing my stuff in the living room. 

“Your apartment wasn’t that bad. It’s the perfect size for you.” Minho said patting my head. 

“Noona come sit next to me.” Jeongin pushed me over to the sofa. 

“No she’s sitting with me.” Felix argued holding my other arm. 

“Fine i’ll sit in the middle okay.” I suggested they frown. 

“Okay now, we just have to decide on the rooms.” Chan suggested. Everyone let out a whine. 

“The ones originally living here first were me, felix, Jeongin and Jisung. But we changed some of the rooms. So how will pick is, the new people will pick which room they want first. So it’ll be like faith on who you’re supposed room with.” Chan smiles. Everyone lets out a groan.

“In your life this is the time to pay attention.” Jisung points out. 

I nod. Agreeing whatever they decide. “Jeongin is there someone you want to room with?” I asked him seeing he was the youngest. 

“Me? Well...” He looked at each of us. “I want to share a room with seungmin.” He says. Seungmin smiles. 

“What about me?” Jisung asked him. Jeongin looked nervous. 

“Then who do you not want to share a room with?” Woojin asked him. 

“Jisung.” Jeongin didn’t hesitate to reply. I couldn’t help but burst into laughter as the others did too.  Jisung pushed him to the side as Felix dabbed. 

“He’s so dirty I thought I was going to die.” Jeongin teased. Jisung had a shock look on his face. 

“I’m the best at cleaning!” He tried defending himself. Everyone quickly disagreed. 

“Personally I wanna share a room with a clean person. And I think Lisa would too.” Woojin also teased. 

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m okay as long as it doesn’t get on my side.” I said. 

“Nobody want’s to share a room with me?” Chan asked us. We all looked at each other and stayed quiet. 

“I want to share a room with you but you look very sensitive.” Woojin pointed out. I laughed again. Chan did too. 

“I’ll give whoever rooms with me free massages.” Felix points out. I had a thoughtful look on my face. Everyone yelled. 

“You know, what I could use that.” I pointed my finger at him liking his idea. He had an amused look. I heard he gives out the best massages ever. 

“Alright lets go!” Chan said getting up from his chair. 

So it was Woojin, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin and I got to pick our rooms first as the other turned around not look. 

“I’ll enter the room first.” Hyunjin announced. 

“I’ll go next!” changbin says going to his room. 

“My turn!” Minho was the next member. The others kept freakin out. This was honesty exciting tho. 

“Lisa, you pick next.” Woojin suggested since it was only him me and Seungmin left. I nod. 

“Okay!” I cheered loudly doing a fist bump in the air.  

Picking my room I picked the one that had two beds. Wanting to surprise my roommate I hid behind the door. I couldn’t really tell who’s room this was.  

“Kids, we’re coming!” Chan announces.  

“Welcome!” I could hear Jisung’s loud voice but he wasn’t in this room. I was feeling really excited and nervous at the same time. 

The door to this room finally burst opens and I tried my best to stay hidden. I squinted my eyes seeing Felix come into the room. Who would’ve thought. He looked disappointed not seeing anyone as I can hear the other boys screams. He moved the door and finally sees me behind it. I smiled as he smiled back.  

He let out the biggest screamed ever. “YAS!!! Noona!!” He brought me a bone crushing hug. “You, scared me. I really thought no one was here.” He placed his hand over his heart. 

“Haha. Hey, I didn’t know this was your room. By the way you owe me some free massages.” I reminded him. He frowns. 

I couldn’t help but smiled. “I’m kidding. I’m happy to be sharing a room with you.” I hit his arm. I place an arm over his shoulder. 

“Let’s see who’s rooming with who.” I suggested walking over to the others. 

“Who got to share with Noona?” Jisung asked. 

“ME!!!!” Felix shouted happily walking into their room. Everyone yelled. 

“Are you sure about sharing a room?” Chan asked me. I nod. 

“Honestly I’m okay. You worry too much.” I assured him. 

“Can we go and eat now?” Minho asked we laughed and headed out.

So it was 

Room 1: Changbin, hyunjin, jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin

Room 2: Chan, Woojin and minho

Room 3: Felix and I 

Lisa SKZ 10th Member Masterlist

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Beginning of Book 2 Read here to catch up!

Chapter 12: What Was the Reason?! WHAT WAS THE REASON?!

Currently, I’m about one bad interaction away from slapping the shit out of Toei. He’s improving but not in the areas I need him as a team. It’s July and we’re training at the USJ (aka, The Death Dome) again. Not too excited to be in the dome again.

“...and as for you two,” sensei stood in front of us, assigning areas “You’ll be in the rocky area with the non-quirked villain.”

I sighed as Toei got pumped “Oh boy! We’ll win this time!”

“Whatever you say chief” I was just feeling dead inside with all the easy assignments that Toei could barely survive.

“Miss Iida, can I talk to you for a quick moment?” asked sensei to pull me aside. “I know you’re not having the best time, I see it and I’m quite tired of this low ranking too with your ability. But this is the last one before the partner switch, if Toei doesn’t perform well, he’ll have to take the reevaluation exam. So please hang in there!”

That was some hot tea, I was taken back a bit “Will do sensei, I hope he’s better prepared this time.”

“Alright, that’s good to hear!”

I walk over to the rocky area with Toei, trying not to think of the fuck ups he might do. Instead I make sure my ribbon wands and silk obi were in place.

“Hey Iida-san!” Toei snapped me out of my concentration “If we win this one, I’ll take you out to some DDR at the arcade.”

I narrowed my eyes, knowing FULL well he’s gonna fuck it up “If I say yes, will you put in more effort to actually win?”

Our classmates within earshot reacted to that roast. 

“That was ice-cold Iida-san!” “Oof she got you there buddy!” “YES BITCH! CALL HIS ASS OUT!” were some of the things they said.

That roast went over his head “I always put in the most effort! I’m confident that we’ll win and move up this time.”

We get to our zone and the enemy gives us no time to think. Immediately we were bombarded with rocks. I had to think fast! 

“Okay Toei, if you can-”

 “I’M GOING IN!”

“NO!” I screamed as I saw him Naruto run toward the villain on the higher ground “Damn it! Toei are you crazy?!”

“I got this!” He looked back at me, giving me that cocky smile and thumbs up.

I had two options, let him get rekt on his own so he can learn from his stupidity OR I go scoop him up and tell him my strategy. At first I sat and watched him struggle but then the villain brought out a stun gun and I KNEW that I had to go in for the rescue. I ran and jump high enough to get my ribbon lasso for the save. But at the same time, I got in direct line with the stun gun that was meant for Toei and I got a direct hit in my face. I blacked out after that...

-At a nearby hospital-

Lili was snatched out of the air before her body hit the ground by a USJ staff and was rushed to the hospital. Nobody is sure if that direct hit was lethal or not.

“Oh my baby” cried out her mother as she pushed through the nurses to get by Lili’s side “I was so worried that something like this could’ve happen! Why my baby? Why today!?”

“Be strong Ita” soothed Tenya, also trying to hold in his strong emotions “I’m upset too, but lets not cry yet.”

“Too late” whimpered Iwata as tears rolled down his face “is Lili gonna be okay?”

“Daddy, please tell me Lili is gonna wake up?” whimpered Hanaka, pulling at his sleeve.

“Lili, quit playin’! Wake up!” Oro begged as he shook his older sister’s leg “I can’t look at her like this, it’s so hard.”

Tenya didn’t know what to do or say, this environment was overwhelming him and he couldn’t stay strong. “I-...I don’t know” he managed to stammer as tears fall from his face “What can I do?! Nobody told me it was going to hurt like this! I just want my daughter to be okay.”

Her mother put her hand on Lili’s face “It seems like everything is normal, stun guns cause rapid brain activity. And she’s experiencing that.”

“I was just about to say that!” said the doctor “But it seems like you’ve caught on to the main diagnosis.”

“So what did you find?” Asked her mother.

“To make things brief, there’s no brain damage” explained the doctor as he put brain scans up on the light box for everyone to see “nor brain trauma, thankfully. But we are noticing that her brain is taking a while to readjust, so what will happen is that she’ll have mild amnesia” he sat on his padded stool “So don’t be too surprised if she doesn’t remember you right away, it will go away on it’s own but if you re-jog her memories or have trigger objects that’ll bring back her memories, the better.”

“What a relief” Tenya sighed and wiped his tears “She does take a while to recover from anything.”

“As soon as she wakes up, she’ll be discharged” responded the Doctor “She’s still young and strong, so recovery will be fast. I will warn for her to be more careful next time! She’s fortunate that the stun prongs pierced her shoulders and her mask deflected the other prongs that could’ve been much more lethal.” He stands up “I’ll be coming by again in an hour to check up on her.”

“Thank you doctor” responded Ita as the doctor walked away. She turns to the others “You heard him, she’ll be fine. Now we pray to the higher power for her fast recovery.”

“All Might?” blurted Tenya, serious faced.

“What? No! To GOD!” exasperated Ita “What the fuck is the spirit of All Might gonna do?! Detroit Smash from the spirit world to revive her?!”

“All Might’s spirit can suck my ass!” huffed Oro.

“He can suck a caterpillar dick!” Iwata added.

“Can we not slander All Might?!” chopped Tenya “Your sister is trying to re- HANAKA!”

“What? Oh is it a crime that I found the wheelchair?!” Hanaka sneered as she popped a wheelie.

Tenya pinched the bridge of his nose “This family is so chaotic, I can’t sometimes.”

“Remember when you said you wanted as many children as possible?” Ita sighed as she propped up her head with her hand “And how much you cried when they were born? Is it sinking in how much chaos you brought into this world and raised them?”

“I’ve been aware” he rubbed his temples as the two boys joined their little sister in wheelchair tricks “Curly hair and rebellion may be the dominate traits, but I still love them.” he sighed “Because they remind me so much of their mother, whom I love the most.”

“Aww babe” Ita cooed as she levitated the three kids, preventing them from speeding away with the wheelchair “Love you too!”

The family decided that they wanted their privacy and not have visitors. Instead, Tenya put it upon himself to watch over Lili until she wakes up. Ita had important matters to attend to for her company and Iwata was going to be taking care of things at home. Everyone was concerned for Lili’s well-being, sensei didn’t tell the class out of respect of her parent’s wishes. Pretty much only her immediate family and honorary family knew of her condition.

-3 days later-

“Lili, I’m back” softly spoke her father as he sat at the chair at her side “It’s Tuesday, so mom might swing by for a bit if she gets out early enough for visiting hours.”

At this point, Lili still hasn’t woken up nor moved. So Tenya has just been talking to her in hopes that she could hear him and wake up.

“You know, your mom was also hospitalized in 2nd year. And I feel all those worried feelings all over again.” He leaned on the railing of the hospital bed “I’d whisper my feelings to her and give her sweet kisses, like she’d wake up when I did.” He sighed and stroked her hair “Will today be the day you wake up? Everyone is getting awfully worried. But lets see if you like what I brought today.” He pulls out a book from his satchel “It’s one of your mom’s classic literature novels, Little Women. I read a book to your mom when she was like this and she remembered listening to me reading it” he opens the book “So maybe this might work too...ahem, Chapter one, "Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug...”

He didn’t have to read too far into the book before Lili woke up. Eyes watering as the hospital lights were stinging to her eyes, she groaned as she stretched her body.

“Nnnh...thirsty” she hoarsely uttered.

Her dad quickly reached for the ice water on the tray “Here, drink slowly.”

She could barely see the cup and who was giving it to her, but she sat up to drink out of it. “Thank you” she said as she tried to rub her eyes and saw the IV connected to her “Am I, in the hospital?”

“Yes, do you remember anything?”

“I remember practicing in the yard for the summer showcase” she rubbed her eyes with the other hand “and that’s all...wait, did I pass out because of the heat?!”

“No...wait, do you recognize me?” carefully asked Tenya, trying not to scare her.

She looked at him and blinked “Yeah? You are my dad” she giggled “you’re my dad! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!”

Tenya breathed out, relieved “Oh you gave me a scare there!” he gets up “sit tight, I’ll get the doctor.”

She waits patiently, a little confused on why she was there in the first place. Her dad ran in before the doctor.

“Please Mr. Iida” panted the doctor “I’m a doctor, not an athlete!”

“Sorry! I was just excited” apologized Tenya “But look, she’s awake.”

The doctor gathered himself “Hello Miss Lili, how are you feeling today?”

“I’m feeling a little sore and woke up with extreme thirst” she explained “But otherwise, I’m okay.”

“That great to hear! Can you tell me your full name, age and your parent’s names?”

“Um sure? My name is Lili Perla Iida, I’m 15 years old and my parents are Tenya and Itati Iida.”

“Interesting, okay” the doctor muttered as he wrote something on his notes “Thank you, now I’m going to explain what’s going on...” The doctor explained that she was in a training accident and her diagnosis “...so while you might not remember everything right now, you will very quickly with the help of your family” he stands up “so, you’re free to go home and go back to school. Just be careful and I suggest a better head gear to prevent more accidents.”

“Thank you, I’ll be more careful” She said as the doctor left. “Dad, what did he mean by better head gear? Dance isn’t a contact sport.”

“I’ll explain more when we get home” he handed her a change of clothes “Here, your sister chose your outfit since you came in with your costume on.”

She change and got wheeled out of the hospital to go home. Lili sat in silence the whole way home, she recognized her dad’s car and the route home. But what’s missing from her memory?

“We’re home” announced Tenya.

“Welcome home Lili” yipped the robo dog “Mom told me you got hurt and I’m happy you’re home safe.”

“Doggie” she bend down to pet the robo “I remember you for sure!”

“LILI!” screamed the three younger siblings as they stampeded toward her.

“Hi” she managed to say before they group hugged her “huh? Since when did you guys...looked like this?”

“What do you mean?” they said in unison.

“I don’t remember Iwa wearing t-shirts this fitting?” she pointed out “And since when did you get boobs Rosa? And the fuck did you do to your hair Oro?!”

“Huh? I’ve been wearing proper wearing shirts since I started middle school” Iwa explained himself “wait, dad, did she forget years of memories?!”

“I’m afraid so” Tenya responded “She doesn’t remember anything from the last 3 years.”

“Oh fuck, so you don’t remember your friend?” Rosa asked her sister.

“Maru?” she asked “what about him?”

The four of them glared at her in shock.

“No, your other friend...from school” Iwa spoke up.

“I- don’t have friends from school?” she furrowed her brow “come to think of it, I don’t think I have any friends from dance academy either.” 

Everyone look at each other, not knowing how to break it to her.

“Um, lets go sit at the couch and let me explain” Tenya said as they walked over to the living room “Okay, so things look a little different now because you’re not 15, you’re 17 about to be 18-”

“I’VE BEEN IN A COMA?!” screamed Lili.

“NO! You’ve been in the hospital for 3 days and you just have amnesia” her dad took control of the situation “I’ve been watching over you everyday in the hospital and the doctor explained that you just need to get your memories back. And we’re all here to help.”

“So...I’m in high school?” she asked and everyone nodded “And I have friends?”

“Lots of friends!” Her dad explained “you’ve gained the respect of so many and you have your own little dance circle where you Ki Ki.”

“I do?! Wow I sound like a cool kid” she giggled “Where do I go to school? Is it that private arts school in Shibuya?!”

“No...um you” Her dad put his hand on her hand “don’t scream but you attend UA and you’re in the hero department.”

“Oh...I see” she blinked and stood up “will you excuse me a quick moment?” Before anyone could say, she dashed to her room to look through her things. And she found her admittance letter along with all her rejection letters from the schools she applied to. She sat on her bed and tried to remember anything, but couldn’t, so she cried.

“Lili, it’s okay” Rosa said in the doorway “you wanted to go to UA, trained for it and everything” she slowly made her way next to her sister “you even got in without the recommendation of our parents! You went in to flip the script on what our family is known for and changed your ways to become a hero.”

“I wish I could remember” Lili wiped her tears “You guys say all this but nothing is coming back to me. This sucks!”

“Maybe mommy can help when she comes home from work” the little sister said as she tugged on Lili’s sleeve “come outside and eat oranges with us.”

“I am hungry” she stood up “okay, lets go.”

She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to distract herself from everything until her mom came home. Nothing seemed to spark anything until dinner.

“Lili? Are you alright?” her dad asked worriedly “You haven’t reached for the pizza.”

“I remember something” Lili replied, eyes wide “You upgraded my phone on a pizza night, at around Iwa’s birthday.” She looked her dad “If you say I am in high school, then I must have memories on my phone!”

“That could help, but mom has your phone for safe keeping” he answered as he served her a slice “You know how paranoid she gets when things happen in the family.”

“Guess I’ll have to wait until-”

Comically on time, her mom came home. “I’m home!” her mom panted as she rushed into the dinning room “Lili! Oh sweet daughter of mine” she brought Lili into a tight embrace “You have no idea how worried I was! Did you wake up alright?” 

“I just woke up thirsty” Lili responded, face squished in her arms “Mom, not to be rude, but can I have my phone? I was just saying that something might trigger my memories back.”

Lili followed her mother into her home office after dinner. The familiar scent of lavender hit her and it triggered the memories she had in there. Once she got her phone and turned it on, a flood of texts rolled in from classmates and people from her circle.

“If you’d like, you can stay home for summer break” suggested her mother “if going back is going to be overwhelming.”

“No, I want to go the dorms” Lili said with confidence “My journey to who I became started at school, because if I did make up my mind to be a hero and threw away my dream of being a dancer, then all those memories started there.”

“Alright Lili, when do you want to go back?”

“Hmmm, on Friday? Is that okay?”

“It is, I just gotta let the school know.”

And so I went to my room to check if I had any pictures, most of them were just selfies and videos of some crackhead activity outside (from what I assume is my dorm room) window. So much for helping me, gotta take more pictures of my friends! I clean out my inbox and see that this one contact I have saved called “Hoshi 💫🌟”. I scroll through our text history and it’s like I text them a lot! Is this the friend Rosa was trying to talk to me about? Wish I had a picture of them but it seems like our texts were saved all the way back from December, almost 7 months ago! I decided to give it a rest and get ready for bed. I lay in bed but I couldn’t sleep, like something was missing from my sleep routine. Did I add something while I was away from home? Needless to say, I didn’t wake up totally refreshed. The little things triggered my memories as I did my everyday routine and, after 4 days, I remembered up to the day I quit the dance academy to go to UA.

“Mom, do you think everyone will be patient with me?” I asked as mom was driving me to the dorms “What if they trick me or take advantage?”

“You have nothing to worry about! Everyone will help, or at the very least your circle of friends and teachers will” Mom replied, glancing over at Lili’s face “Hey, why don’t we go to a McDonalds before?!”

I get excited “For two cones and a number two combo with Sprite?!”

“Yup, glad to see that your excitement for secret McDonalds is still there” chuckled Mom as she took the left turn into the downtown area “The usual I see.”

“You know that’s been my order since I was old enough to speak!” I wiggled in my seat and looked out the window “McDonalds! McDonalds! Gimme McDonalds!”

Thankfully there was no line at the McDonalds and I enjoyed my two cones before pulling up to the dorms. I grab my bag and my drink before following my mom into the building, nothing was coming back to me yet.

“This way Lili, we have to talk to your teacher” Mom pointed to a door “Hopefully he’s not too wrapped up to talk.”

I watch her knock on the door and the sound of somebody falling off something responded along with hasty footsteps “Yes? Oh! I wasn’t expecting you two so soon!”

“Ha ha very funny mom” I was being sarcastic “How much did you pay Diaper Boy to be in on this prank?”

“Ya know Lili, I might be one of the richest women in the country but not even I’d pay Mr Mineta to be part of anything” my mom sighed and pinched her brows together “He’s your sensei...deadass.”

I nearly choked on my Sprite “No way! No wonder I ended up in the hospital!” I felt offended “You got this purple ball flinging, toddler sized, ketchup-smellin’ teaching the next generation of heroes?!”

“Hey! TO BE FAIR, I wasn’t responsible for your accident” sensei cried out “secondly, words hurt. Both of you have been roasting me for long enough, I am a man and a hero!”

“Yeah okay Diaper Man!” I roasted, which promptly triggered my memory of the first day of school “Oh man, that roast was so powerful that it triggered my memory.”

“Oh thats good! Thats what we came here first for” Mom shifted focus “Minoru, I’m going to need you to help Lili trigger her memories in terms of academics. In turn I propose Lili gets a training break until her memories come back.”

“I will allow it, don’t worry about her getting injured again” he gave his thumbs up “She excused from summer training due to her rescue points, which is this leg of the training.”

“Great! Here’s her updated medical records, please hand them to Eri when you get a chance” Mom hands over a manila folder “I just need to talk to Hoshi real quick and I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait, Mom” I stopped her “where are you going after this?”

“I’m going to do some agent work” she explained “my team has been called upon a lead for a re-opened case. I might be gone for a few days, so Dad will be there for you if you need anything.”

“But, what about me?” I pouted, feeling abandoned.

“I know its a little scary being in an environment you don’t recognize, away from your parents and siblings” She comforted me “Trust me, I know the feeling. But you have one person to rely on at least, and it’s your best friend. Hopefully you remember them after a while.” She pointed to the cat tower “Why don’t you see if Clawford is taking a nap? I’ll be quick!”

I watch her teleport out and I do what she said. She says things like this to make me feel better about her being gone for more than a day, but I still worry. I peek my head in the cat hole and see the chonky cat staring back at me with their bluish eyes. I reach in for a gentle pet and they seem to like me, maybe I spend a lot of time in this area and play with them? I don’t know how long I’ve been petting them but when I turned around, there was a group of at least 10 people just staring at me.

“Um... Howdy!” I greeted awkwardly.

“Oh my goodness! She’s not yelling at us” spoke a girl to another girl in the group “what do we say?”

“Yo Toei-kun is right there, how long until she scraps with him?” whispered the boys.

“ENOUGH! Can’t you see our classmate is back?!” spoke up one of the boys and takes a few steps towards me “Iida-san, welcome back! It’s good to see you recovered and well.”

I blinked and lightly scrunched my face “I’m sorry, but...had we, met before?”

Everyone gasped

“What do you mean? It’s me, Hashima-kun, class representative of Hero class A.”

“Class rep?...Sorry, but I don’t remember” I looked to the others “and I don’t remember any of you.”

Sensei came out of his room to inform everyone of my condition. My mom came back out with somebody before heading out.

“Okay Lili, I’ll be going now” She squeezed me “take care and call Dad for anything! I love you.”

“Okay bye Mommy” I waved “I love you!”

I watch her get in her car and drive off. Everyone’s whispers were getting on my nerves in an unsettling way. It was getting me anxiety and I felt frozen in place.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I turn around to see a tall guy with frosty, blonde hair and icy blue eyes. He was looking at me with gentle concern and that confused me.

“Yeah, um...I was just looking at my mom drive off” I meekly responded “Anyways, uhhhhhh can I ask you a very dumb question?”

Now he looked confused “Sure?”

“Where’s the bathroom? I’ve been it holding in for like 20 minutes now” I whispered, hoping nobody heard me.

“Here I’ll show you” he asked me to follow him. We walked up some stairs and down a hallway “So...memory loss huh?”

“Yep”

“Nothing from the last few years, ey?”

“Nope!”

We arrive at the bathroom “At least you remember me right?”

I run in the bathroom and into a stall before I could answer him. And just when I think I have my privacy, I hear the bathroom door open.

“Lili, you remember me...right?” he asked again.

“Um...I-” I try to not make any bodily sounds “I don’t remember you, sorry.”

“You....don’t remember me?” he responded, voice cracking and trailing off “how can that be?! We’ve done so much together! I’m saved on your phone, we have matching lock screens, you made me this shirt... does anything trigger at least the day we met?”

I flush the toilet and walk out to wash my hands “I wish it did, but it seems like routine has been triggering my memories” I go to dry my hands “and I guess that’s my second question, are you in my daily routine?”

He suddenly gets very coy “Well..um” he rubs his face “I basically never leave your side, we share a dorm room.”

“Oh...” I stare blankly at him as a hard blush rose up to my face “Will you excuse me for just a moment?”

I turn around to walk into a shower stall, closed the door and screamed for a solid 2 minutes. “Okay, I feel better” I cleared my throat as I walked out the shower.

“You know that those showers aren’t sound proof.”

“Kinda wish you didn’t say that” I blushed again “now uh, where’s our room?” 

I follow him a little ways down the hall from the bathroom. He opens the door to a cramped space.

“Welcome back, hehe” he nervously said “anything?”

I look around “Not yet, but this is a bit of tight space” I walk in to see which side is mine “Hey, that’s the vanity I wanted!”

“Well, it is yours” he explained “along with that fabric wall, sewing station on the balcony, that’s your dresser and your half of the slide closet” he then points to the bed with pink sheets “And that’s your bed, don’t worry, I didn’t sit or sleep on it. I know how picky you are about that.”

“Oof, I hate that box spring feel” I cringed at the sound the bed made with I sat on it “damn bitch, we live like this.”

The boy starts howling with laughter “You’re killing me Lili! Good one!”

I watch him laugh and it made me...happy?

“Are we...best friends?”

“We are!” He calmed down to answer me “We’re like a two for one special! We do almost everything together and you understand me the most” he smiled “You’re the most important person in my life, and no matter what, I’ll help you remember everything. Because you never gave up on me and it’s about time I return the favor.”

“Really? I’m important to you?” I questioned “then I trust that you’ll help me through this.”

He smiled harder and glanced at my bag “What’s in the bag? I don’t remember you having that rhinestone bag.”

“This is my old dance bag” I zipped it open “I have my McDonalds in here.”

“Oh? Did you order your two cones, a number two with large Sprite?” 

I froze in place “Whoa, you memorized my McDonalds order?”

“Yup, when we didn’t feel like going to the dorms yet after school, we’d go to the McDonalds and get it to go.” He explained “My order is the number 6 with a vanilla milkshake to dip my fries in.”

“I see, you’re a man of culture as well” I gave a face of approval “Then will you accept this orange.”

“Sure! WAIT!” He stopped himself from taking the orange from my hand “Oranges? Did you-”

I dumped all the contents of my bag on the bed “Pick a bunch of oranges before I came here because our tree was heavy with fruit?...Yes, I did.”

“Oh Lili!” he chuckled “You haven’t changed a bit, I’m so happy you’re back.”

I watch him peel the orange, trying to see if it triggered anything “Hey, not to sound dumb but” I asked as I was eyeing their shirt “what is your name?”

“Hm? My name is Hoshi Togata” he looked up from his peeling.

“Oh you’re my saved contact on my phone!” I picked up my phone “that makes me relieved that it’s you.”

“Yeah, look” he picked up his phone to show me the lock screen “We match, I’m the Big Bad Wolf from Shrek and you’re Donkey.”

“I was wondering why Donkey was there!” I giggled “This feels weird, I’ve never had a best friend before.”

“What about Maru?”

“Oh shit, lowkey forget he exists sometimes” I admitted “but we don’t do things like this. I’d never share my food with him or watch movies.”

“I’ve never had a friend period! You were my only friend for a while because-” he stopped himself from saying it “um, well...that part isn’t important anymore BUT we found more friends!”

I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out things all over again. And when it came for bed, I couldn’t really sleep again because I felt like something was missing. This sucks!

To be continued

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[its8simplejulesblog]

Did I Ever Tell You About The Time I Got Stranded in An Airport In China?

It’s true. I was utterly alone. I mean in retrospect I wasn’t, there were hundreds of people in that airport. The difference, they spoke native Chinese and I didn’t. My family members have always been avid travelers, to the point where my mom let me, 20 at the time, travel to China alone. Of course, I was meeting up with people when I got there, but the travel part was alllllllll me. So naturally, things had to go wrong. 

So here’s the sitch. Before my brother was born, during the dark ages of minimal internet, my mom joined this online group of moms that were expecting around the same time so they could ask questions and go through the experience of being pregnant for the first time together. My mom really clicked with a woman named Sandie in the group who happened to be from Australia. As we grew up, our families became really close. We would meet up with them in Florida all the time. 

Eventually, we decided we would ship ourselves over to Australia for Christmas/ New Years, but that’s a different story. 

More background information: My dad helped start a robotics team 21 years ago, and has become really well known in that community so he’s friends with everyone. We were contacted while we were in Australia to come meet up with another family who is really involved in robotics internationally so we went to have dinner with their family. They are an INCREDIBLE family. You know the type where they always have a ridiculous story for everything you just can’t believe it’s real? That’s what they were like. Anyway, the mom started talking about how they were opening a robotics lab in China and they take students over to teach the kids about programming and lego league and just to be pen pals; and, if you know my family at all, I immediately invited myself to go. I really was like “oh I should go with you,” out loud, and my mom looked at me and instead of saying no, she looked at this lady and she said “yeah, Julia is learning Chinese, she could go with you.” and the lady just said “yeah! ok” and I was going to China...alone haha. 

Flash forward and I have to take two flights to go to China. The International flight goes sickeningly smooth. I have absolutely 0 issues, and my whole family is extremely relieved, BuT WaIT, there’s more. When I go to take the domestic flight to Fuzhou, the province that we were going to be “touring” I see that the flight is canceled. There’s an announcement over the loud speaker but I’m already panicked and it’s in rapid fire Chinese so I go to the desk instead. The lady at the desk is trying to be patient with me, but I’m clearly already freaking out and her English is broken. She manages to tell me that there was a bad wind storm so they had to postpone a lot of the flights. 

Okay, postpone..that isn’t so bad, right? ALSO WRONG, it’s at this exact moment that my phone’s wifi cuts out entirely, so it’s survival mode now. I’m crying on the floor of the Shanghai airport when I hear actual English for the first time in forever (I’m apparently really good at accidental Frozen references) but I FLY towards whoever is speaking English. The culprit turns out to be these 2 guys from Canada. One of them speaks fluent Chinese and they’re helpful for about 5 minutes before they have to abandon me because their flight was rescheduled. So, we’re back to square one. 

At this point, they announce that the flight is cancelled and I want to die, but the good news is my wifi comes back on. I immediately text my mom and my uncle, who my aunt met when she was in the Peace Corps in China so he starts a call with his entire family that lives in China apparently because I don’t recognize any of these people at all. The only thing they can tell me to do is to talk to a flight attendant so that’s what I do. 

Imagine a group of really cute and young sorority girls hanging out when they’re approached by someone that..is just completely a mess. Yeah that’s what it was like when I went over to them. I got one of the girls to help me and again, her English was about the level of my Chinese at the time, so together we were only slightly above idiot. She tells me that the Chinese airport doesn’t let foreigners stay at the onsite hotel, so I would be able to go with her and her friend once she got off of her shift to go to a hotel. 

SOUNDS SUS doesn’t it, but when you’re desperate, you’re desperate. When the flight attendant gets off of her shift I go with her to the parking garage because she booked a hotel for me. When we finally get there, this 25 year old Chinese Troy Bolton looking man whips his car around and we get in with him (completely safe, how could you not trust Chinese Troy Bolton). We drive about 30 minutes through Shanghai and honestly, it’s beautiful. It was one of those circumstances in life we’re you’re looking at the city lit up at night and you really can’t believe you’re there. It was probably one of the scariest, yet most memorable experiences of my life. 

We pull into the hotel and since I finally had native speakers with me, things were going a lot smoother. The flight attendant was talking with my uncle on the phone about scheduling me a flight for the next day and she talked to the lady in the lobby about my room. At this point, I knew her pretty well because, surprise, she was actually 30 years old and had a daughter and I thought that was SO CUTE. I gave the flight attendant a hug and thanked her friend, and it was just me again. 

Here’s the best part of this entire story. The only hotel they could book me in was, wait for it, a honeymoon suite. A HONEYMOON SUITE. The hallways of the hotel were covered in mirrors and the carpets were covered in flowers. Everything smelled like drugs and smoke and clearly everyone was having the time of their lives. The bathroom in the room, completely see through, the bed had a HUGE mural of Barbie’s face above it and the curtains had minnie mouse on them and I don’t know how that’s romantic at all, but you can’t make this shit up haha. If you think I’m lying, here’s a lil (horrible) photo I took of the curtains. If you want to see video, ask me in person. 

At this point, I am way past delirious. I took a shower and time ceased to exist. I was so jet lagged and confused. I called my mom and after I hung up with her I immediately fell asleep. A solid 2 hours later I woke up and SCREAMED because my body clock was so off, I thought it was the next day and I had missed my next flight. I called my mom crying again, and she told me it had only been two hours so I went back to bed. When I finally woke up at the right time my uncle, god bless this man, got on the phone with me and helped me talk to the people at the desk. They got a cab for me and I trudged back to the airport. 

2nd times the charm, except, I need to get my boarding pass printed out at the help desk, which has a line of about the entirety of the Chinese population. Fun fact about China too, they don’t know what a straight line is. This is just fact, they just cut straight to the front and shove each other out of the way. This took me way too long to realize, and after I stood in this line for about 2 hours, I realized that I was going to have to assimilate. So there I was, a puny stick of a human, elbowing grown Chinese men out of my way to get this pass while my uncle and 300 relatives are on the call with me. 

I get to the the desk and surprise, the person is not helpful at all so I do what any actually insane person would do and I just continued walking my way through security to the gates. I get filtered into bag check of which, I don’t even have a bag so I just walk up to the desk anyway to see if anyone else can help me. 

After the longest 5 minutes of my life my SAVIOR of a 22 year old tiny little man decides to give me his attention. I don’t know HOW. I don’t. Know. How. But he manages to print a boarding pass for me and my soul left my body because at this point I had 30 minutes to get to my flight so I thank him and SPRINT and I mean really book it through security to the plane. I finally made it. 

Granted, the trip was entirely worth that stress. The kids I met in China were incredibly kind. They called me a Disney Princess and wrote me love letters and gave me hugs even though it was clear I didn’t know shit about coding. It was just amazing to be there as a friend and role model for them. I stood in front of them and spoke Chinese and encouraged them to keep learning English and it was the most grounding experience of my life, because it was clear that they didn’t have much. 

We went to five cities while we were there to tell the kids about lego league and cooperation and teamwork. I sat in on meetings with school board professionals and on interviews with students that wished to continue their education abroad in America. I learned so much about the systematic education there and there is nothing I want more than to go back there. The kids have already invited me back to their homes, and I have never met anyone more welcoming and kind. So think twice before you make jokes about the Corona Virus. 

At the end of the day, this trip defines what I want to do. There is nothing like stepping entirely out of your comfort zone to explore. There is nothing like shocking a bunch of Chinese men with your ability to use chopsticks. There is nothing like putting aside biases and language barriers and simply treating people like people. Everywhere I go, I think of that place as a new home to me, and I can’t wait to be home there again.

Also..the next semester when I got back, we learned the airport and travel unit at school in Chinese class, such is life I guess. 

Here are some pictures from China. 

-Julia