#I swear ​I was born with anxiety
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valewritessss · 3 months ago
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I felt so seen when I first read pjo and it mentioned Annabeth’s arachnophobia. I used to have so many nightmares when I was younger (probably started when I was around five or six), I would wake up in the middle of the night and be so terrified of moving because I thought there were spiders all over my bed. The shadows on my popcorn ceiling looked like spider figures and I remember just laying there sweating and not making a sound because I thought it would attract the spiders I guess? It was routine for me to shout for my mom—poor her, she would be woken at 2 in the morning like thrice a week— and she’d always shake my sheets and lay with me until I feel asleep. She would also take me to sleep with her and my dad in their massive bed (who was I to say no to the invitation?) and it got to the point where I was embarrassed that I couldn’t sleep a whole night without someone. Occasionally, I still have these nightmares about spiders and I just turn on a light, go to the bathroom, come back, and pretend it never happened.
Idk, just thinking about that. I kind of had forgotten about those nightmares but I don’t play when I see spiders because I know it means I’m going to dream about them.
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normalpeoplethiings · 1 year ago
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i was born for this tends to strongly trigger every emotion in me because of how intensely i relate to jimmy. when i first read it i actually thought this was a book about myself. the book portrays anxiety and paranoia incredibly well and it always helps me feel seen when reading literature that accurately portray struggles like this.
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dinogoofymutated · 3 months ago
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First born Headcannons! Multi/Fem!Afab! Reader - Angel, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Gambit OKAY FUCK I don't know what came over me it just happened okay??? This whole thing started thinkin about colossus and a lil baby and then I was thinking about Warren taking the nightshift with his own baby and I spiraled from there. Warren's is like twice as long as everyone elses my bad yall. If there are any typos don't make fun of me ill fix them tomorrow I'm so tired lol TWs: Childbirth mentioned (Not described tho), Babies, wholesome shit. I know that some of these characters have had kids in the comics and that these hcs may be ooc, but I do not care lol. Little bit of anxiety and panic, but everything is okay.
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Warren Worthington
Warren is such a dad. I don't even know how to describe it. Like, he's not as effortlessly fatherly like Piotr is, but once he has a kid he's devoted to making sure this kid gets all the emotional, physical, and financial support they would ever need.
He had such a rocky childhood with his own dad, so he hates the idea of his child ever going through the same sort of thing.
He might be a little clueless with the actual baby things, like when to feed, how to dress, and what to feed his little one, but he does take diaper duty as his sole purpose in life. He does adjust for the things he lacks though, and gradually adjusts to be better at them!
He's strangely good with babies, even before he had his own! There's just something about him that makes them stop crying. He's also an expert at nap times.
    It’s an early weekday afternoon. The sun is shining through the blinds in warm golden rays, the sink clean and the dishwasher running. There’s a click once the message on the answering machine stops playing, and you have an uncertain frown on your face as you take it all in.
    The house is silent, brightly decorated with pictures of your close friends lining the walls of the hallway. The sounds of your husband quietly shushing your infant son gradually become easier to hear when you reach the cracked door of the nursery, pushing it open as quietly as you can.
    Warren’s back is facing you, fluffy wings almost glowing where the sunrays touch his feathers. Your newborn is sleeping in his arms, napping after a lunchtime bottle. He’s bouncing the baby just slightly, and you swear you can see his smile without ever having to see his face. It’s a sweet moment you want to crystalize in your memories. You lean against the doorway, smiling just as bright as you’re sure he is.
    "Hi~" You say sweetly after a moment. You were right. Warren’s happy smile is bright and blinding when he turns to look at you.
    "Hey," He says quickly, lifting your sleeping son so that you can see him better. "Hi Mama, say hi Mama!" Warren whispers as he lifts the baby’s pudgy little hand to wave at you. You can’t help but giggle, walking forward to kiss both of them on their cheeks- your little one not stirring from his nap. You take a breath afterward, leaning against his side as you debate telling him.
    “Something wrong?” Warren asks, one of his wings stretching out to wrap around your side and pull you closer to him. Normally you giggle, but today you bite your lip, unsure.
    "Your dad called." Your words are soft when you say it, and Warren immediately laughs in a way that sounds more like a scoff.
    “His secretary, you mean.” Warren attempts to correct, and his joking tone makes you frown a little, rubbing his upper arm in an attempt to be soothing.
    “No, not her, honey.” Warren stays silent after you say it, his brow furrowing as his face turns into a reflection of confusion and sadness. You can see the conflict as he turns the words over in his head, cooing and shushing your son back to sleep when he starts to stir a little, feeling the atmosphere shift. 
    “...what did he want?” He asks, voice low and quiet.
    “He left a message on the answering machine if you want to listen to it.” You tell him. “He, well… He wants to meet his grandson.” Warren scoffs at that, shaking his head as he starts to pace the room a little. You stand there, grounded as you watch him process the sudden contact.
    “He really said that? After all he’s put me through, he wants to meet our son… What a joke.” You grimace when Warren starts to laugh. He finally stops pacing to gently lay your son back in his crib. He leans against the side with one hand as the other rubs his eyes before it slides up to run through his hair.
    “Do you want him to?” You ask after a moment, stepping over to his side. He leans into your touch when you reach out to hold his cheek.
    “I-” Warren stops himself, taking a deep breath as he takes your hand in his own. “What do you want to do?” He asks instead. You shake your head at him, taking hold of his hand in both of yours, tracing the wedding band on his finger.
    “He’s your dad, love. It’s your choice.” You say softly. Warren is still frowning, and he lets out a long breath, deflating a little bit. He turns around to face you, pressing a kiss to your temple and holding you there for a long moment. You wish you had even a fraction of Jean’s or the Professor’s power, if only you could see what was going on in that head of his. He pulls you into a side hug, and the two of you spend a long while looking at your infant in the crib. The perfect mixture of the both of you. Certain to be a mutant in his own right. You can tell Warren spends every second thinking about it.
    When he steps away from you, He’s silent.
    “Warren?” You call out for him as he leaves the room. You’re about to follow when you hear the distinct sound of your son about to wake up, the little whine catching your attention as you coo him back to sleep instead. The door to the nursery is open, and just faintly down the hall, you hear the sound of the landline starting to ring.
    “Hey, Dad, it’s Warren. Is Saturday okay?”
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Piotr Rasputin
GOD this man is so good with kids. I mean, have you seen those comic panels with him and his sister??
This man was made, built, forged to be a dad. He's protective but encouraging, and although he may be blunt, he knows when his kiddo needs some comfort.
He takes all the classes with you during the pregnancy, and he knows he'd never hurt his baby, but there's always a lil bit of worry in the back of his mind. He's a little too strong, and he hates the thought of slipping up and accidentally harming this fragile little soul the two of you brought into this world.
He gains confidence with time, and when the baby arrives he's always carrying them securely on one thick arm, belly down as they sleep soundly against him.
    His baby is so small when they hand her to him in the hospital. She's tiny. Smaller than the width of his arm. He looks like a giant as he holds her, sat next to your bedside as you recover from her delivery. He's in awe as he looks at her, a tiny little life, the greatest gift you've ever given him besides your hand in marriage. 
    You and others had always joked that his baby would be huge, big-headed, 99th percentile, and he never minded it. It was no secret that he was a big man, and he didn't mind what size the baby was as long as it was healthy, and looking at the little bundle of joy in his arms, he decides he wouldn't have it any other way.
    It's almost comical, how small she is. Hell, even you might have doubted the paternity of the baby girl if it hadn't been for her head of pitch-black hair, and pretty blue eyes. Almost a carbon copy of himself.
    “She has your eyes.” You say once her cries quiet down, and she begins to fall asleep in her father's arms.
    “No.” Piotr hums, gingerly touching his daughter's face. “They look much more like Illyana's.” You hadn't thought about that before, but now that he mentions it, the resemblance is undeniable. You giggle at that, Scooting closer so that you can lean on his shoulder.
    “The nurse said that she's waiting outside, when you're ready. I'm sure she's beyond excited to meet her niece.” You mumble. Piotr has placed a finger in the palm of your baby's hand, both of you smiling when the little fingers do their best to try and close around his fingertip. Piotr cannot wait to see the face of his sister when she sees your baby, but he'll be the first to admit, he'd like it if this moment could just last a little while longer.
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Kurt wagner
Kurt is such a good dad oh my god.
He's always talking about you and the kids, bragging about literally everything you do ever. He's the kind of dad that has endless photos of his kiddos in his wallet, car, locker, everywhere.
And he's so devoted, too. He'll do anything you ask him to do during the newborn stage (and after) and is beyond supportive. His goals are happy Spouse, Happy kids, Happy life.
He's also very sentimental :) he thanks god every day for you and the blessing that is your baby.
    Kurt’s side of the bed was empty when you woke up this morning, and despite the normal amount of anxiety you normally feel when that happens, you feel peaceful. You’re smiling at the empty mattress, rolling over to his side to push your face into his pillow, taking a deep breath. Used to, you would be worried. You would wonder where he was, or if he was safe. If he had gone off on some x-men mission without telling you (which he never did). But today, you know exactly where he is. You’re smiling now as you think about it, pressing a kiss to his pillow before standing up.
    There’s a soft humming in the house, quiet and soothing. It’s not hard to figure out where it’s coming from, the path to the spare room having become second nature to you- although, it really wasn’t much of a spare room anymore. You try not to be too loud when you enter the room through the cracked door.
   Kurt is humming sweetly, your son laid out on the changing table as Kurt finishes worming his pudgy little legs through a new onesie. The baby whines a little, squirming around as Kurt attempts to change his clothes. 
    “Patience, Mein kleiner Schatz. This won’t take long.” Kurt says sweetly. Your son isn’t really having this whole changing business, and it makes Kurt chuckle. His tail is wrapped around a bottle of milk, and he sets it to the side right before he snakes his tail over the crib. He brushes the spaded end lovingly over your baby’s cheek as a distraction, and the infant coos as he finishes getting his arms through the sleeves. His tail takes over from there, buttoning the onesie's clasps as he turns to grab the bottle of milk instead- stopping for a split second when he sees you in the doorway. Kurt smiles.
    “How are my boys?” You ask, voice a little rough from sleep.
    “Gut! And lively, it seems.” He tells you. He passes the bottle off to his tail again when you walk over, taking you into his arms as he shakes the formula up a little more. Kurt kisses you sweetly on the lips, pressing his forehead against your own when you separate. 
    “Guten Morgen, Schatz. How are you feeling?” You swear you fall in love with him all over again each day when he greets you like that. You shrug your shoulders in response, smile dropping just a little bit.
    “I’m okay. Still tired, and definitely still bloated, but I’m okay.” You admit. Kurt frowns a little, brushing some hair from your face.
    “Did you see the medicine I left for you on the nightstand?” Kurt asks, and you immediately make a bit of a silly face, remembering that you didn’t exactly get up on your own side of the bed today. Kurt knows what that looks means and begins to laugh, just as your son begins to whimper and whine to be held and fed. You try to go pick him up, but Kurt stops you as he picks your baby up instead, bottle at the ready.
   “Go take your meds, I’ve got him, Liebchen.”
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Remy LeBeau
Remy is a little nervous to be a dad.
Not in a flight way!! He's just a little worried that he'll be a bad influence on the kiddo. and well, I mean sure. If you're worried about the kiddo being a little rager and being into a few to many wild hobbies I guess (usually comes with the cajun territory)- but overall, Gambit is such a sweetheart, and if anything his kiddos would be so respectful and loving towards their parents.
Remy's very protective over your baby. The protectiveness is at it's height around 0-3yrs of age, but it never, ever goes away completely.
He might talk some smack about how a little bit of dirt/germs never hurt anyone, but He's actually the kind of dad that makes everyone put germex on before even thinking about holding the baby.
He's on top of feedings, and never fears a blowout when it comes to changing diapers (no matter how much he might gag). He might not have the diaper back stocked and loaded 24/7, but he's doing the best he can.
    When you wake up, It’s about 3am. Your eyes blink oper wearily, and the light from the alarm clock is practically burning into your eyes. You want nothing more to curl up and go back to sleep, and you almost do, until the time actually registers.
    3am. Its 3am, and you went to bed at 10pm. This is the first time you’ve woken up since then. Your veins feel like ice when you realize that you haven't heard the baby cry once. You rip the cover off of you, breaking out in a panicked run across the hall to check on your newborn. You don’t even realize that Remy isn’t even in bed until you slam the door open and see him standing there, your daughter in his arms as he rocks her to sleep in the rocking chair You breathe a sigh of relief as he looks at you with a tired smile, but your anxiety still remains.
    “Remy? Is she okay?” You whisper, practically leaping over to his side to take the little one out of his arms.
    “She’s Okay, Cher.” Remy replies softly. He stands from the chair, wrapping his hands around your back, the infant snug in between your bodies. You sigh again, taking a moment to look at your daughter carefully, eyeing her chest as it rises and falls, and straining your ears to hear her breathing. Remy gives you a second to get situated, yawning just a bit as he sways the three of you as you stand there. You relax as he holds you both, resting your head against his shoulder.
    “Why don’ you go back to bed.” Remy says after a long minute. “That was the longest I’ve seen you sleep in a while.” You frown. He’s not wrong. Your newborn has been a bit colicky lately, crying for nights on end since you brought her home with very few things to keep her comfortable. She has started to grow out of it, but the effects still remained. She cries a lot at nighttime, and it makes you wonder if that’s why you had slept so long, because of Remy staying up to keep her quiet.
    “And leave you here? Remy, how long have you been awake?” You ask, looking up at his face. He shrugs, smiling still as the three of you sway.
    “I’m fine. I can stay up all night if I need to, as long as you get to catch up on some sleep.” If it were any other circumstance, you might have swooned at the words. As sweet is he is, you can’t let him do that! He begins to step away to place your daughter in her crib, and you hold yourself back from trying to take her from him and commanding him to just go to bed.
    “Remy-”
    “Ah ah ah, Cher, don’t wake ma petit, now.” Remy cuts you off with a whisper, turning around to place a finger against his lips in a shushing motion. He almost makes you giggle, but instead, you simply shake your head at him. He pulls you into a loving kiss when he’s close enough, running his hand through your hair. You know he’s waiting for you to pull back, to retreat into the bedroom to sleep like he asked you to, but you’re still hesitant. He knows your stubbornness firsthand and chuckles when he pulls back a little.
    “Do I need to tuck you in, too?”
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zupawama · 2 years ago
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/personal the truth is you fucks will tell people with social anxiety disorder a hundred different ways to mitigate being taken advantage of but don’t have the same guts to tell assholes that they’re not allowed to shout at and degrade people who struggle to look them in the eye
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cry4mina · 2 months ago
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They won’t notice
(Mina x fem!reader)
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Word Count: 17.1k
Fluff/Smut
Summary: Meeting your best friends members was always a nerve wracking though, but after the beach day you had with them...one in particular clings a little more than anticipated.
TW: Fluffy, smut, drinking, food, sex, hickeys, light choking, public teasing/sex, bruising, oral, fingering etc etc.
A/N: Per the vote that happened on my blog's 6 month anniversary, this was born. Please excuse the spacing! It was too long for me to separate it the way I prefer. I know it was supposed to just be smut but I'm in my fluffy era, I fear. Thank you to @ghostykapi for helping me put the plot together, this fic would NOT have happened without that precious human so the biggest shout out to her mwa mwa 🖤
Also @myouicieloz and @psylocke142 for helping me keep my sanity and organize my brain for this fic! I appreciate all of you so so so much! <3
Thank you to everyone who voted and who has stuck around to see what comes next! It's appreciated! Have a lovely Sunday and please, get yourself a sweet treat today! <3<3
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“I really don’t think you should be so worried, Y/n. They’re going to love you!” Dahyun spoke reassuringly from the drivers seat as she masterfully parallel parked.
“They’re just so important to you and I want to make sure it goes well so I can see you more!” Expressed with love, concern and nervousness.
Being best friends with Dahyun since kindergarten, you were siblings at this point. Always calling each other with random life updates or just to sit in the comfort of each other’s silence.
Since her trainee days, you didn’t really get to hang out as frequently as you both liked, always missing each other with your schedules and free time so when you both were off today, she excitedly invited you to the beach with her and the rest of Twice.
Not having met them before, and being a fan of the music of course, you were very nervous to make a good impression on them - even with Dahyun reassuring you that they’d love you, you couldn’t help but stress.
“Alright, let’s go!” Leaning to grab her stuff out of the back seat and shoving your shoulder a little.
“It’s going to be fine, I swear. I talk about you enough, they already love you!”
Helping her gather the chairs and cooler, you make your way to the stair case leading to the shore and walk down the wooden steps to the sand that sunk slightly with every step taken.
Sun beaming down on you as you heard a familiar voice shout to you.
“Over here!”
Glancing over, you see an excited Jihyo waving her arms above her head next to a large circular set up of umbrellas and towels, the rest of Twice sitting around each other in the shade, chatting and giggling how you would expect.
Holy shit.
That’s Twice.
AND that’s Park Jihyo.
The leader of Twice.
Flagging YOU and Dahyun down.
Stopping in your tracks, you look over to Dahyun, she smiles and ushers you in front of her.
Walking to the group of girls felt like it took years. The anxiety of not only meeting your best friend’s members but Twice was so nerve-wracking, having followed them on their journey to fame in support of Dahyun and just pure enjoyment of the music.
“Hey guys! Wait…where’s Jeongyeon, Nayeon, and Mina?” Dahyun asking, plopping the stuff down in the sand next to Jihyo.
Jihyo in a black bikini, smiles at you and waves before answering the question.
“Nayeon got too drunk so Mina drove them back to the hotel. Jeongyeon is going to stay with her to make sure she drinks water and doesn't leave the room. You know how she gets.” Giggling about the fact that Nayeon was always a little hard to handle when drunk.
“Everyone! This is Y/n!” Dahyun shouted at the girls, they all gathered around to say hello and meet you.
Sana was in a lavender two piece that fit her perfectly, she was such a goddess in person, it was hard not to be flustered.
Momo opted for a royal blue one piece with her hair tied up in a bun, chaeyoung was also in a black bikini similar to Jihyo’s but with a white see through cover over it, and Tzuyu was wearing a sun dress - seemingly not too keen on swimming.
Offering a “finally!”, “we’ve heard so much about you!”, and “it’s nice to put a face to the name!” With hugs and hand shakes.
Sana offered you a drink, a bottle of soju.
“Dahyun told me that Mango was your favorite flavor so I grabbed you a few of these!” smiling as she handed you the chilled bottle from the cooler she brought with her.
“Thank you so much! That’s so sweet!”
Looking down at the bottle, you can’t help but think you were worried for nothing. They’re so welcoming and lovely, hope and warmth replaced the nervousness that once was.
Everyone made small talk while you and Dahyun were setting up the chairs you brought and the extra umbrella to keep the sun off everyone.
Sitting down next to Dahyun and taking a swig of the soju, you finally relax a little. Listening to them discuss the tour and showing you pictures, they ask you about your work and listening very attentively with every answer to their questions.
“So what do you do for work? Dahyun mentioned something with designing?” Momo chimed as she grabbed a bottle of Soju out of the cooler, looking at it and seeing it was melon flavor, making a face and shuffling around the ice for another.
“I’m a concept designer for Lego, actually.”
Always being proud of your job, you loved to brag about it. Having a creative and well paying job was something that you never thought could be possible unless you were an idol but you genuinely enjoyed the process of creating scenes to build and being able to bring them to life with mere plastic blocks.
“Wait…you’re what? No way!” Momo and Sana look at each other and giggle, you hear Sana whisper “Oh she’s going to love you.” but before you could ask what she was talking about, Chaeyoung jumped in and asked about the sets you had designed.
“You know those floral ones? Like the bonsai trees, the potted plants, and the bouquets?”
“No way…”
“Mhm…and those little racecars too, I had a part in those.”
Everyone seems to be side eyeing each other, no one fills you in on what is happening, they just keep looking around at each other until Jihyo finally breaks the silence with a cheers.
“To meeting new family” raising her glass to you and sipping, everyone following the motions.
Curious statement but cheers to that! Being accepted by them so quickly felt like a fever dream, unexpected but lovely.
Car keys jingle behind, a shadow of a woman with long dark wavy hair and her arms crossed looms over you when Dahyun stands and offers a hug to the figure.
“Mina, this is Y/n!”
Oh shit. Myoui Mina…your ult bias.
Dahyun knows the crush you have on Mina, a little worried that she might’ve said something to her, your mind spirals for a moment, wondering if Mina knows…
Act normal, this is fine.
“Uhm, Hi M-Mina. It’s nice to meet you.” Offering a hand to shake, she reaches for it and smiles at you softly, leaning forward and bowing her head slightly as a sign of respect,
How your legs didn’t turn to pure jelly, you have no idea. She was elegant and graceful and you were gay panicking way too hard to even realize how long you held her hand for.
Seems like she doesn’t even notice, she’s looking in your eyes and seemingly nervous as well, but she’s known to be shy so it’s probably just that, right?
“Hey Mina!” Chaeyoung shouts from her chair, waving obnoxiously to her bestfriend and turning to face her.
“Y/n is a concept designer for Lego’s!” Momo elbows Chae in the ribs playfully, shushing her and whispering to her.
“What? No way!” looking over at Chae to see her excitedly beaming back, Momo is shaking her head in her hands like Chaeyoung did something wrong… this confuses you for a split second.
“That’s so cool, I love Legos!” Mina exclaims, the excitement in her eyes is just too adorable to even think about anything else.
“She designed the plants and the little cars you like to build.” Sana shouts from behind Momo, who actively swing her arm back to try and shut her up, Sana just giggles and high fives Chaeyoung.
Tzuyu and Jihyo are just laughing but there’s a silent tension building in your ribcage, a little ache that turns into a fascination…why was Momo trying to stop them from telling her your line of work? And why were Tzuyu and Jihyo laughing?
“I love those! They’re so complicated for how small they are. I just built that orange one with Jeongyeon the other day. They’re so much fun!” shying away from you, she seems to take a step back from you.
Mina has always been known as shy, Dahyun says she has her moments but is also very playful and silly. That intrigued you, wanting to see that side of the soft spoken and regal Mina.
“They always send me sample builds for the ones I design and sometimes the bigger sets that are in testing so next time I’ll save them for you, if you want.” a nervous offer, but a meaningful one.
“Really? That would be amazing!” She’s radiating pure excitement now, unable to help but admire the happiness beaming from her.
Mina sat next to you all day, discussing your line of work and some builds you were working on, even though they were confidential. She swore to secrecy before you told her about them, which you thought was cute.
Having conversations with the other members, Mina never left your side. Your Twice bias taking a liking to you wasn’t something that you expected. She was always close by, even with everyone pulling you and her in different directions.
When everyone decided it was time to go in the ocean, she made sure to swim with you and playfully splash you.
This surprised you, as you weren’t expecting to see the playful side Dahyun spoke of so quickly, but you were grateful she felt comfortable enough to show it so soon.
By the end of the day you had exchanged numbers with the promise of hanging out soon, you hoped that to be true. Though you heard from other members that she wasn’t the best at texting back, you hoped that maybe you’d hear from her again.
The car ride home was relatively quiet, both you and Dahyun exhausted from the sun beaming down on you all day. The day was lovely, so happy that you decided to come along- even with it being so nerve wracking.
“So, did you have fun?” Dahyun nudging you with her elbow and making her eyebrows dance because she already knew the answer to your question.
“I did, I did.” giggling back to her.
“So what did you think of everyone?”
“Everyone was so nice! They’re all so sweet and welcoming, I’m really happy I got the chance to meet almost everyone and hang out for a while.” smiling at the new found friendship.
“Was everyone what you were expecting?” side eyeing you from the driver’s seat like she already knew the answer to this question too.
“I mean…for the most part, yes.” knowing what she was really asking, you were waiting for her to ask you flat out ask, until them you would dance around the question.
“Seems like you and Mina got to know each other.” Dahyun has the brightest smile on her face, poking you to see what information she could get out of you.
“Yes, that was really nice.” softly spoken back to her, face blushed completely as she knew about your celebrity crush on Mina.
“Soooooo…did you get her number?”
“Dubu!” shouted in shock at her while she cackles at you, unable to help yourself, you smack her shoulder playfully.
“What?! I’m just asking you a question!” flipping the blinker and snickering to herself as she pulls into your apartment building.
“Are you staying with me tonight?” changing the subject to avoid answering the question.
“Yes! Is that still okay?”
“It’s always okay. That’s why you have the spare key, duh!” getting out of the car and grabbing your stuff.
“Sooo…did you get her number or m…?”
You put your had up, halting her sentence, and making a face at her.
“I’m not talking to you about this!”
“Why not?! I can be your wingman! Come on!” Dahyun protests against your silence in the matter.
“Oh, shit, Dubu I left my phone in your car but my hands are full. Can you go grab it for me?”
“Sure” Dahyun goes to the car and snags your phone off the front seat, noticing a notification on the locks screen, she smiles widely.
“SO YOU DID GET HER NUMBER” Dahyun is jumping for joy at this revelation.
“Oh my goodness, I can see it now…The wedding, the pictures…ugh you guys are going to be so cute!” skipping to the elevator and holding it open for you before hitting the button for the top floor.
“Kim Dahyun! If you don’t shut your mouth!”
You don’t even know if Mina is into you, not wanting to be excited about something that might not happen, you just take it at face value.
“What!? I’m just saying, Y/n! Mina barely texts any of the members back so the fact that you have 2 notifications for her here is actually insane.” her eyes more serious now, her tone a little more pointed but it’s hard to believe.
The elevator dings and you step out, walking to your front door and punching the code in before pushing it open and placing everything down inside. Sand trails through your kitchen when you head to your room, Dahyun follows.
“What if she just wants the legos? I mean I’m happy to give them to her but her texting me doesn’t mean she likes me like that!” huffing at playing devils advocate.
Wanting to believe her, you just weren’t sure. The interactions you had with Mina were relatively surface level and it’s not that uncommon to have those conversations with anyone. You didn’t want to assume they meant more then they actually did.
“Trust me, Mina doesn’t talk to strangers like that. Not that you’re a stranger, I’ve told them so much about you already. But like…she just met you and clung to you all day…that’s a big deal…she doesn’t do that at all.” Dahyun has taken her stance. The stance of when she’s trying to prove a point and she knows she’s right.
You’re too stubborn to believe her.
“I guess we will see in time.” shrugging your shoulders and turning on your shower so you can rinse the beach off your skin.
“Dude, I’m telling you! She likes you!” Dahyun is practically yelling now, waving her hands around her head in frustration and huffing as she stops out of the room.
Giggling at her theatrics, you are curious if what she’s saying is true. Just as the thought passes by. your phone goes off again and Dahyun bolts back into the room.
“IF THAT’S A TEXT FROM MINA, THEN SHE ABSOLUTELY LIKES YOU BECAUSE A TRIPLE TEXT?? SHE WOULD NEVER DREAM OF IT.” screaming with such force it startles you.
Looking down at your phone, it scans your face and you look at the banner messages.
Mina Myoui: It was really nice to meet you today! I hope you join us for more activities in the future. (6:27pm)
Mina Myoui: I would love to hang out sometime, would you want to build legos together or something? (6:38pm)
Mina Myoui: Is that too much? Sorry. (7:02pm)
“Oh? It’s Mina…she wants to hang out” you’re in a bit of shock to see her name pop up in your phone, her asking you to hang out and then asking you if it’s too much?
No way. You wished it wasn’t weird to ask her to come over right now, actually.
“SHE FREAKIN’ LIKES YOU!” Dahyun goes on her yelling rant about how Mina is never like this and how she wouldn’t even text her best friend that many times in a row and blah blah blah.
Sitting there and starring at the screen, you see the typing bubble pop up and disappear quickly. Is she staring at her phone for a response?
You: It was so nice meeting you today too! I would love to build legos with you. Just let me know when you’re free. Not too much at all :) I was hoping you’d ask! (7:05pm)
Throwing your phone on the bed, you swiftly turn around to take your shower. You can hear Dahyun screaming from the living room in absolute victory, which makes you laugh.
Rinsing the sand off your legs, you remember the conversations you had with Mina about her lego build collection and her other hobbies. She talked about her love for video games a lot, saying that she’s got a few she plays every day and some she played mostly on vacation.
Mentioning minecraft survival and how she enjoys how puzzle-like it feels to be able to gather the materials and keep your character safe when the little zombies are out and about.
Mina also mentioned wanting to write more songs but being nervous about the vulnerability of putting her thoughts into lyrics. Encouraging her to take that step and be more vulnerable, you reminded her that so many people admire her.
“You should write more if you want to! I know that a lot of people really love the song you did for the Misamo debut, I think it would be really awesome for you to do more if that was something you wanted.” nodding your head at her.
She blushed at that, her cheeks reddened as she dipped her hair down trying to hide her face.
How adorable she is when she talks about things she’s passionate about.
Finally done with your shower, you dry off to find that Dahyun had used the guest bathroom to do the same. Her hair wrapped in a towel, in comfy clothes, and scrolling through her phone waiting for you.
Flipping on a random show, you sit on the couch with Dahyun and proceed to scroll through your phone when you get another text from Mina.
Mina Myoui: I think I’m free sometime next week if you want to get together! (7:36pm)
You: Yeah, I would like that! I have a few test sets of lego’s at the house we could build together if you want! (7:37pm)
Mina Myoui: I would love that (7:39pm)
“Who are you texting? With that huge smile on your face?! IT’S MINA ISN’T IT?!” Dahyun seemed to be more excited about this than you were, and that was saying a lot considering you were literally making plans to hang out with your Ult bias.
“Dahyun! Let me exist! Jeez!” huffed at her, all she did was smile and text someone ferociously on her phone before completely changing the subject and carrying on your night like normal.
—6 months later—
Mina ended up cancelling on you because of a last minute schedule, but still texted you every day just to talk. You even FaceTimed and talked on the phone often, just getting to know each other and updating each other on the day to day.
Zipping your suitcase closed, you sigh.
Deciding that you would bring a tote with a couple tester sets of legos with you to give to the girls who saw her the most, that way when she did have a moment, she could relax with them.
“You ready?” Dahyun shouted from the front door as you picked out a few sets for Mina…Dahyun wouldn’t do it because she wanted you to do it yourself, you planned to pass them along to Chae or Momo.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” grabbing your bags and heading for the door.
“Why do you sound so sad? We are going on a winter adventure to the mountains!” lifting her arms to the sky to try and get you to laugh, it doesn’t work.
“Sorry, Dubu. I was just really hoping Mina would come too. We talk so often but I haven’t seen her since the beach day. I was just really looking forward to spending time with her is all.” sighing as you hoisted your suitcase into the car, grabbing a blanket you brought for the ride and curling up in the passenger seat.
“It’s okay, Y/nnie. I’m sure we will have fun either way.” there’s a smirk on her face, something is off but you are too distracted by your own thoughts to even want to ask.
The soft blanket you brought with you brings you some sort of comfort, keeping you warm even in the sadness.
You decide to text Mina.
You: Hey! I hope your schedules go well today! Sad you can’t make it to the vacation :/ (10:04am)
You: I am bringing some of those builds with me for the girlies to bring to you later though! I hope you enjoy them when you can :) (10:05am)
Unable to stop yourself from being disappointed, you put your phone in your lap and watch the scenes out the window pass you by.
The city quickly turned into country side, a few farms here and there, some cows you are sure to point out to Dahyun who has been surprisingly quiet the last 45 minutes.
Sighing at the lack of response, you really really wished Mina was coming to this outing. Always being bad at hiding your emotions, you knew try to hide them from Dahyun by just staring out the window.
Your phone pinging breaks your state of dissociation.
Mina Myoui: That is so sweet of you! I’ll hold onto them so we can build them together. :) (10:55am)
Mina Myoui: I wish I was coming too. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, but I promise I’ll see you so soon. These unexpected schedules they keep booking me for are really kicking my ass lol (10:56am)
You: I can imagine! Please get some rest when you can! You work hard and should make sure to take care of yourself. (10:57am)
Mina Myoui: Trust me, I’ll get some good rest this week ;) (10:59am)
This week? Like when we are in the mountains with most of the girls?
You: Please do! You’ve definitely earned it with how busy you are! (11:01am)
A sigh leaves your lips, wishing she wasn’t so busy so you could spend time with her.
Eyes drifting back to out the window, you try to muster up the courage to be excited about hanging out with Sana, Chaeyoung, Momo, Nayeon and Jihyo.
Tzuyu was with her family this week, Jeongyeon was overseeing the animal shelter while the owner was on vacation and Mina was…busy.
Pushing positivity into you brain, you list off the things that you could look forward too.
Relaxing.
Meeting Nayeon.
Hot tub and sauna in a massive rented house in the mountains.
Snow.
Hanging out with the girls again.
“Everyone is really excited to see you again, you know.” Dahyun chimes in, disrupting your thoughts.
“Are they? They’re so sweet.” Monotone in your reply, unintentional, but present.
“Come on, Y/n. I know you wanted to see Mina but there will be other times.” Reaching out to rub your shoulder in an act of comfort.
“I know, I know. We just have been texting since the beach trip and I was looking forward to hanging out with her in person again. You guys are always so busy, I thought we could…” letting the sentence end before finishing it.
“I know but trust me, we’ve got a lot of fun things planned!” Dahyun is suddenly very giddy, bouncing in her seat in excitement.
You don’t match the energy.
The countryside grows into mountains, slowly unfolding into a snow filled road lined with trees that winds around the peak you’d be staying at for the next few days.
Admittedly the scenery was beautiful, the trees sprinkled with white flakes of ice, the deep greens and browns that fill the spots the reflective chill couldn’t.
For the rest of the ride, you were trapped in your thoughts. Holding onto the text exchange from Mina about being able to see each other soon.
Your little crush developed into full blown liking her and you dreamed of the comfort you’d feel when you see her again.
Pulling up to the house, you were immediately captivated by how lavish it looked, even from the outside.
Big stone pillars around the front door, large windows that allowed you to see inside to find marble flooring, massive fancy chandeliers, and the girls laughing and playing in the living room.
Sana points to the driveway, seeing you and Dahyun getting out of the car. Watching as they all stand and run to another part of the house.
The front door flings open and everyone runs out in the snow to greet you with hugs and help you with your bags.
Nayeon walks right up to you and pulls you in for a hug.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Y/n! So sorry about last time. “ bowing her head in a small moment of shame.
“It’s totally okay. I’ve had my fair share of days like that.” smiling at her and offering some reassurance that there was no judgement there.
Nayeon grins back at you, pulling you in for a hug as if you had always known each other. There was a warmth about her that made you feel calm, less worried. Almost like a best friend that you hadn’t seen in years hugging you again.
Sana and Chae see this, scrunching their noses and looking at each other with confusion. Brushing this off, you hug them and say it’s good to see them again and you’re looking forward to spening more time together.
Jihyo walks up, slaps you on the back playfully and puts her arms out for you, waiting for you to do the same. Giggling at her and returning the hug, you squeeze her tight.
“It’s good to see you again, Hyo.”
“Right back at you, Y/n” warmly rubbing the spot she just smacked.
Jihyo and you had developed a solid friendship after the beach day. She would come over and have dinner with you, just hang out and watch movies or you’d go to hers and do the same.
There was a sense of family between you and everyone, they had accepted and welcomed you even before you had actually met them at the beach that day.
Knowing that you and Dahyun had grown up together probably helped that along, but the kindness they had always shown you was full of genuine love and safety.
Bringing the bags into the house, you couldn’t help but take in the rest of the luxury it was dripping in.
The marble counter tops matching the floors, the conversation pit in the den behind a beige L shaped couch with a huge TV hanging on the wall, the fireplace that was fancy enough to be considered a work of art, and the fact that it had 10 bedrooms with bathrooms attached was just mind blowing.
“We hung nameplates on the doors for both of your rooms, if you want to go see! But we’ve just been hanging out in the living room and just talking.” Jihyo says, making her way back to what you would assume is the seat she was in before you arrived.
“Yes, I’m going to go put my stuff down and I’ll be right back.” making your way to the staircase and taking the first few steps.
You see Dahyun and Jihyo side eye each other out of your peripherals and brush it off, you knew that your energy was noticeably off but you wouldn’t admit why.
You’re sure that Dahyun was already filling the group in on why you weren’t exactly yourself today.
Finally reaching the top of the stairs, you hang a left into the hallway and see hand painted signs hanging on the doors. All the members ones were painting in their representative colors, yours was Mint green…cute joke.
Looking around you, seeing that there was another Mint green sign…for Mina…all the members had rooms assigned to them even if they weren’t here? Tzuyu and Jeongyeon had ones also. It’s cute that they always include everyone, it makes you smile.
Stepping inside the room, you see a MASSIVE bed with a fire place across the room from it. A big tv mounted on the wall, the deep red tones of the room really provide a coziness that matches what the fireplace brings. Thinking about sleeping in here tonight makes you yawn at how comfortable you already feel.
Checking your phone to see nothing from Mina, you sigh again. Tossing it on the bed and trying to figure out how you’re going to shake this sadness you have about not being here this weekend. Placing your bags down, you opt to check out the bathroom, walking over and flicking the light switch on - it’s absolutely lavish.
The bathtub is basically its own hot tub, jets and everything. The shower is huge and natural, rocks inside and fake plants. Gasping in shock at how immaculate this bathroom was, you look up at the ceiling and notice that there’s a long spout on the ceiling behind the shower glass that just looks like a disc drive.
Seeing the buttons on the wall, you press one out of curiosity.
A waterfall starts.
A waterfall shower??? In the mountains?? Luxury is crazy but you were so excited to shower tomorrow morning.
A knock at the door startles you, pressing the button again to stop the shower, you rush over to the door to your room and open it to find Momo smiling at you.
“Mind if I come in?"
“Sure!” swinging the door open, she lays down on her stomach on the bed and watches you get settled.
“Hey, Y/n. Can we talk for a minute?” there’s some concern in her voice.
Swinging around to face her so she knows you’re present, you sit next to her and wait for her to say what she has made clear she wants to.
“You seem really nice and I enjoyed getting to know you at the beach that day. It’s seems that you will be around more, and I just want to make sure that you know how protective we are of each other…do you get what I’m saying?” there’s an inflection in her tone that you can’t shake, what did she mean by that?
“Uhm…truthfully, I don’t have malicious intentions at all. All of you mean so much to Dahyun and she’s part of my family at this point. I wouldn’t dream of harming any of you in anyway. If anything, I’m nervous about you guys not really liking me or me being like weird or something” reassurance and vulnerability gifted to Hirai Momo.
“Why would we think you’re weird?” laughing at this, she seems to have eased up in the seriousness of her last statement.
“To be honest, I’m actually a huge fan.”
“What?” giggled back.
“Yes! I’ve been following the group for years, not only out of support for Dahyun but because I just really enjoy the music too. So half the time I’m around you I’m like “Oh shit that’s fucking Hirai Momo, the dancing machine from Twice” but I know you’re a person so I obviously don’t want to be like weird about it” unable to help yourself, you laugh at what you’re saying.
She joins you, cackling with you.
“I need you to know we felt the same way! We were so nervous about meeting you because of how much you mean to Dahyun…we were worried about how we would come off to you.” offering the same vulnerability back to you.
“So we had the same thoughts, minus the “holy shit you’re twice” moment?”
“It seems that way.” smiling at you, soften up a bit at from the one on one interaction.
Momo gets up and heads for the door.
“I’ll give you some space to get settled. Come down when you’re ready! We made hot chocolate too so you’re welcome to that as well.” pulling the door open, Momo looks back to you before stepping out of the room.
“I can see what she sees in you.” disappearing before you have a moment to question what she had just said to you.
Who sees what in you?
An iced chill of worry shoots through you, matching the show that laces the ground outside the window…trying not to worry about it, you slip on something more comfortable and head downstairs to make small talk with the rest of the girls.
When they see you coming, they hush each other to be sure you didn’t hear what they were discussing. That also brings some anxiety with it but no matter, you’re here to have fun.
Letting go of the worry of what they were discussing, you just sink into the moment and jump into the conversation that Jihyo started about some of the things she was working on.
Momo brings you a mug of hot chocolate and sits next to you on the couch, the friendship being cultivated with these girls is something you would cherish- you could already tell that they were making space for you in their lives and that meant the world.
Dinner was around the corner, everyone was laying around and watching TV together in the living room while waiting for the delivery to arrive, you had ordered sushi an hour ago and expected it to take a while to get out here but all of you were waiting with anticipation for the delicious food that was about to arrive.
Checking your phone multiple times that evening to see if you had a response from Mina, but nothing…she must be really busy. That’s what you assume anyway…you wished she was here.
Jihyo’s phone went off, she smiled so widely, her cheeks could’ve fallen right off. Very excited about the sushi, I guess?
“It’s here!” jumping up and running out of sight to the door.
Looking up from your phone, everyone is side eyeing you and watching you closely. The confusion sets in, why are you being watched?
Slowly turning to make eye contact with Momo, she looks away in a panic. Sana does the same and Chae just smiles widely at you.
Uhm…this is really weird?
“Hey, Y/n! Would you mind helping me in the kitchen?” Jihyo yells from the front door, you can hear the plastic bags rustling against her arms.
“Yeah!” shouted back before you get up and walk through the kitchen door.
No one is here…?
A figure walks through the door that connects to the foyer, long dark wavy hair, a pale complexion and a big smile on her face…
“Hey, Y/n” the figure says while your eyes focus.
It’s Mina.
“Mina!�� rushing over to her to give her a hug, the excitement consuming you. Heart racing and eye’s watering at the pure happiness felt with her around.
She giggles at how excited you are to see her, hugging you back just as tightly.
You realize that this is only the second time you’ve seen her in person and this might read as too much. Pulling back quickly, you offer a small apology.
“No, it’s okay. I missed you too.” placing her hand on your upper arm and sliding it down to your forearm.
Heart pounding out of your chest, you try to gain some form of calmness and look away but the blush got to your cheeks before you realized what was happening.
Mina giggles again, sliding her hand past your’s, brushing your fingers with hers on the way down before her hand is back at her side.
“I wanted to surprise you…” hesitantly leaves her mouth with hushed breath, that you weren’t expecting.
“You wanted to surprise me?”
“Well, yes. We’ve been talking so much and truthfully I-”
A crash through the kitchen doors startle both of you, Sana and Momo looking for something harder than hot chocolate to drink.
“Oh! Uhm, so sorry. We were looking for the liquor cabinet…” Sana offers as an excuse for what ruined the moment.
Momo is nodding her head, closing her eyes tightly in embarrassment it seems.
“It’s okay…Don’t worry.” Mina offers up to them as they scurry out of the kitchen.
Both of you sigh.
“I’m happy you surprised me.” smiling at her.
“Me too. And we have this whole week to hang out too!” excited leaves her lips.
She seems as eager to spend time with you as you do with her, it makes your insides warm and fluttery even if you were trying to not assume anything.
“MINA IS HERE!” Sana’s shouts can be heard in the kitchen, rumbling follows.
Muted foot steps can be heard scampering on the hardwood floors, followed by hushed giggling and whispering behind the wooden door, however the door doesn’t move.
They’re trying to hear what you are talking to Mina about.
Glancing over to Mina, you make eye contact - she knows better than you what they’re doing. A glimmer behind her eye catches your attention…for more reasons than one.
“Come with me” hushed breathless whisper leaves her perfectly pink lips, you try to process what she mouthed to you, completely lost in the beauty she radiated.
This was the playfulness Dahyun had always spoke of.
She tiptoed to the other door silently, turning around to see you still in place. She waves you over and you follow her actions of silently.
When you were close enough to her, she grabbed your wrist and snuck through the door.
Gasping unintentionally at her touch, she raises a hand to cover your mouth. Eye widened at the action, you can only look at her in shock.
Your blood runs cold but your heart bursts into flames, pounding at the touch of Mina for a few reasons.
One: because she is touching you.
Two: because her hand is covering your mouth and that always sparks something more lust driven from you, not that she would know that.
Mina leans into your ear and whispers, “…Shh until we scare them, okay?”
Nodding your head to let her know you understood the assignment, she looked into your eyes before she slowly removed her hand. Watching her as she looked at your lips and then back to your eyes.
Blush taking over your cheeks, yet again, you can’t help but smile and break the eye contact. Worrying that the tension was just you, you try to focus on being calm and quiet so you can scare the girls.
Mina looks at you for longer than expected before she sneaks around the corner, your wrist still in hand.
“I don’t hear anything!” Sana harshly whispers.
“Maybe they know we are trying to listen in?” Chae replied
Jihyo shushes them both.
Sneaking around the corner with Mina in the lead, you see everyone has their ears pressed up against the door, trying to listen to the ghosts in the kitchen.
Mina looks at you and represses a giggle, tightening her lips and trying to compose herself. The ache to kiss her builds in your stomach, how could someone be so elegant and so silly at the same time?
She steps out from being the wall, pulling you with her and sneaking behind the group, joining them as if she was always there.
“What are we doing?” Mina whispers to Nayeon, trying to see how far she can take this bit.
“We are waiting to hear if Mina tells Y/n that she likes her. Don’t you remember? We set up this surprise so we could push them together!” Nayeon whispers back to Mina unconsciously, not even realize the bomb that she just dropped.
Mina goes pale, frozen in the secret that was just exposed unwilling to look at you from the sheer panic that swept through her soul at Nayeon’s words back to her.
“I think Y/n knows now but I didn’t tell her.” Mina says loud enough for everyone to hear, startling everyone who was against the door.
They try to play it cool and nonchalant, but you and Mina had stood there too long to buy it.
“Wait so she kno-” Momo asks in confusion.
“Okaaaaay! Let’s not do that right now.” Mina waves her hands up in from of everyone to keep them from asking questions.
You just stood there and trying to process what Nayeon just said. Mina likes you? Like…likes you likes you?
“Dinner is ready so let’s go eat!” an attempt at damage control by Jihyo, it works for the most part.
“Wait…Mina, can we talk?” snagging her by the hand before she could follow the group into the den for sushi.
“Yes, of course.” stopping and turning around to look at you nervously while you spoke.
“You…like me?” shyly inquiring on if you heard that right from Nayeon.
“I…uh…yes.” her head is hanging, eyes at the ground so she doesn’t have to see your reaction. Toying with her fingers to keep calm in this conversation.
Not being used to seeing Mina in this light, you take the opportunity to be bold, placing a finger under her chin and lifting her face to meet yours.
She gasps at the action before going back to looking at your lips again, this time she makes eye contact but there’s something different about the way she’s looking at you.
Without even realizing it, you get closer to each other. Gravitating like magnets until your noses brush, startling you out of the haze but not allowing you to pull back.
Mina has an eagerness about her, being this close to her - you can see the hunger in her eyes. Tension palpable between the two of you, you can tell that she wants this just as bad as you do.
Noses brushing as you inch closer and closer, you can feel her breath on your lips and feel her hands creep around your waist only to pull you into her, finally locking your lips together.
A soft peck first, giving each other the time to process what just happened. You take a few seconds to reminisce in how soft and delicate her lips were, her touches feather light and conducting so much heat that you feel like you could explode.
“Was tha-” Cut off by you cupping her face and bringing her back to you.
Lips connecting again, this time deeper and more passionately. Her hands on your waist coasting up your sides and back before letting them drape over your shoulders.
Separating before it could turn into too much, you take a moment to feel every single drop of oxytocin that seeped into your veins. Gold laced sparks of sweetness send goosebumps across your skin in a wave of euphoria that couldn’t compare to anything you had ever experience.
“I like you too.” one last peck before you take her by the hand and lead her to the den for dinner she brought for everyone.
Once dinner is over, Sana and Momo went back to the kitchen to see if they could find the liquor cabinet with Jihyo’s help. Nayeon, Chae and Dahyun went upstairs to their respective rooms so change and get more comfortable.
You and Mina sit in the den, basking in the excitement of your confession of fondness for each other. It was all so new, but so comfortable. Existing in the same space together brought you a sense of peace you had never known, a calmness that was unexplainable other than being next to her.
“Did you actually bring those lego sets?” quietly inquired without looking at you.
“I did. I thought you’d want to build them in your downtime and I promised to give them to you so I wanted to make good on that promise.” looking over to her and offering her a smile.
“You’re cute.” Mina giggles, flushing red at the genuine care you showed her.
“Do you want to build a few while we are here? I did manage to get one of those cars I know you like building, it’s limited edition too.”
“What?! No way!” excitement now in her eyes as she finally looks at you. She must be nervous.
“Yes! I brought a few different ones, a couple of the plant ones I designed, the car, and then I got this new one that I thought you might like. It’s a minecraft one of the villages in the games…that one isn’t releasing until next year but I had a part in designing it so they sent me a tester.”
“A minecraft one?!” Mina looks like she’s about to fall over with anticipation.
“You remembered that I liked Minecraft?” Freezing in place while waiting for your answer.
“Yeah, it’s one of your favorites. Of course, I remember.”
She looks at you in a way that made your heart soar, the care and kindness displayed on her face and in her body language was enough to send you into overdrive. Willing to do anything to keep her looking at you like that, you scoot closer to her and she instinctively puts an arm around you.
“Soooooo do you want to build one tonight or do you want to wait for the morning?”
“We can do whatever you wa-”
Jihyo comes crashing through the door with a bottle of bourbon that was completely full, she shows it off like it’s a fine bottle of wine, not realize that she had just interrupted.
“Oh, yes! Such a fine bottle of bourbon Ms. Park! I’ll take two glasses please” teasingly at Jihyo.
Jihyo bows gracefully, Momo and Sana come back with glasses for everyone and Jihyo starts to pour some drinks. Momo stokes the fire and Sana takes a seat next to Mina. Nayeon, Dahyun and Chaeyoung come running down barreling down the stairs now in sweatpants, with blankets in hand.
Jihyo is passing out the glasses of bourbon to everyone, once you get your’s, you take a small sip and enjoy the warmth that fills your chest. It matches the warmth that Mina brought you, so a perfect pairing you’d say.
Watching everyone make faces at the flavor of the bourbon was hilarious, it seems that you and Jihyo are the only ones fond of it.
“Tomorrow, I’m going into town to get something that isn’t this.” Sana, still scrunching her nose from the burn, says very matter of factly.
“I’ll go with you!” Nayeon and Momo say in unison, looking at each other and laughing.
“I want to get some stuff to make breakfast sometime this week.” Momo seems to have a plan to treat us to a yummy meal.
“I’d just like to see what the stores look like around here.” Nayeon just wanting an adventure.
Jihyo gets up, shooting the rest of her glass and then makes her way to the stairs.
“I’m going to go and sit in the sauna for a while if anyone wants to join.”
“I have to see this sauna. This house is immaculate, honestly.” standing up and finishing your drink quickly.
Mina says nothing but stands with you, matching your movements of finishing your drink.
Momo and Sana get comfortable on the couch with Dahyun and Chaeyoung, Nayeon follows Jihyo up the stairs to the rooms. You and Mina are close behind, going to your individual rooms to change into bathing suits.
Once everyone is changed, you all head through the den and to the end of the hall where a light wood door leads you to the spa part of the house. There’s a sauna and a hot tub, as well as some showers. Fountains in the middle of the large room have you reeling.
This house must cost a fortune.
Mina clings to you the entire time, never leaving your side.
Everyone in their bathing suits, Jihyo in that same black one she wore, Nayeon in a bright blue one piece and Mina is wearing what seems to be a dark bikini but she’s got a see through cover that hides the true color of it. You are in an oversized t-shirt to cover up through the house, bathing suit underneath.
Jihyo is feeling that drinks as she’s getting loud and silly, being playful and flirty with everyone.
Getting ready to go into the sauna, you put your towel down next to Mina and remove your shirt, revealing your body to her but this time she’s sure to take in every inch of skin you showed her.
Eyes completely glued to you giving you butterflies and adding to the crush that you both had for each other.
Seeing her look at you the way she did, you smirk, waiting for her to bring eye contact back to you. You lean into her ear and whisper:
“You can see more later, if you want.” winking and running your hand down her arm to her hand, entwining your fingers before turning around to face the chaos that was unfolding, drunk Nayeon and Jihyo giggling at themselves.
Mina’s demeanor has changed, she’s got her hand that wasn’t holding yours on your lower back and this surprises you. You wouldn’t really take her to have the dominant vibe, but she sinks into it as if it’s always been there.
Jihyo takes one look at you in the bikini and whistles, obnoxiously checking you out.
“Damn, Y/n! Have you been working out? Look at you!” winking dramatically and nudging you with her elbow.
Playful and silly, constantly joking around with each other, Jihyo and you had become good friends but it was nothing more than friends. The thought never even crossed your mind.
Mina tenses at this, tilting her head to the side and questioning this interaction she just witnessed between the two of you.
Nayeon is in her own world on her phone when Jihyo drags her into the sauna, leaving you and Mina in the vast white tiled room with a hot tub and a fountain in the middle of the tension.
Mina says nothing, but strips off her cover - revealing her abs and strong arms. You practically drool over her, mouth agape, eyes trailing along the flow of her body and up to her smiling face.
Giggling at how your jaw drops for her, she is sure to get closer to you mimicking your movements from when you took your shirt off earlier.
“Want to see more later? Perhaps I’ll extend that invite back to you. Unless you have other plans with Jihyo…?” from sexy to snarky in a matter of second, you can’t believe the sneer on her face.
Is she jealous?
“I’m not drooling over Jihyo, am I? I didn’t kiss Jihyo earlier, did I?” thrown back at her so she can see that it’s just you and her in this.
No one else.
Mina smiles, cupping your face and kissing you intensely, like she was staking her claim to you. The creates quite a reaction from you, making you more than a little needy.
“Sauna or hot tub?” disconnecting her lips and bending forward and ushering her hand out, offering the decision to you in a manner that was the opposite energy of this kiss she just gave.
“Whatever you want” kicking it back to her, noticeably swooning at the way she took charge - despite the jealousy.
“The hot tub looks nice…” eyebrows rising, looking over to you to see if you approve.
“Hot tub it is.” Grabbing her hand and leading her to the water being disturbed by jets, stepping in and finding your spot in one of the corners.
She follows suit, sitting next to you and slouching into the warmth of the water. Sighing as her body unclenches, you look over at her…admiring the serenity that she emitted.
Her long dark hair hanging off the side to not get it wet, her eyes closed, and her face so peaceful…you leaned over to kiss her temple, unable to help yourself with how excited you were about your mutual feelings for each other.
Mina opens one eye, peaking at your through her bangs before letting out a giggle.
“What are you doing?” eyes still closed with the edges of her mouth curled into a smile as she relaxes further.
“Oh, nothing…just thinking about someone.” you know exactly what kind of curiosity this would peak in her…soon she’d be exactly where you wanted her to be.
“Who are you thinking about?” her brows furrow at the words, knowing she would get jealous again.
“Well you see, I’ve been talking to this girl for a long time…we texted and spoke on the phone a lot and I really like her.” Mina opens here eyes, sitting up to look at you with her elbow resting on the edge of the hot tub, placing her head on her hand.
“I found out today that she likes me too…and I’m really excited about it.” whispered through s light nervousness that rises through the heat of the jets.
“…are you referring to someone that’s in the room?” One of her eyebrows raises while the other furrows, the look of confusion on Mina’s face makes you chuckle at her.
The sound of your laugh makes her other brow descend, furrowing to match the other.
Is she really confused about this?
“Yes, the other person is in the room.” still giggling at her while playfully flicking water towards her.
“…like in this room? or just this part of the hou-”
“Mina…it’s you. Don’t overthink it.” leaning in and kissing her softly for reassurance.
Whipping your leg over her thighs, you straddle her. Deepening the kiss and letting out some of the passion that had built within you over the last few months of not seeing her but speaking with her daily.
Her arms wrap around your waist, coasting up your back lightly, sending a single shiver down your spine - clattering your bones with the warmth she offered to you.
Slipping a finger under the string that held your top up, the fabric tightens before threatening to fall. Pulling her arm towards you to remove that threat, you pull back from her and look her in the eyes.
The tension is so thick, even a knife couldn’t slice the pure desire that was trapped in the gaze you were locked in. Mina’s breath picks up when your hand raises to her cheek, caressing it softly before a single finger trails down to her chest between her breasts and down her stomach.
Reconnecting your lips, you drop your hand down to the wear the fabric starts on the bottoms of her swimsuit, tracing the edge of it gently just to tease her and see her reaction.
This sparks a fire in her belly and you can tell as her breath hitches and she slouches to allow you access to what you were asking permission silently for.
“Can I?” To vocalize asking even though the signs were clear.
“Please” hushed tone drenched in neediness before returning her mouth to yours, swiping her tongue at your lips and further deepening the passion playing out before the two of you.
Jihyo and Nayeon both cackle from the sauna, both you and Mina freeze.
Turning your head slowly to see if you had been caught.
The reflection of the glass shows you on top of Mina, who is bright red due to embarrassment of possibly being spotted in this compromising position.
Behind your imagine in the fogged up glass is Nayeon and Jihyo watching something on Nayeon’s phone, giggling at it and completely immersed in whatever video it was.
“They are laughing at something on Nayeon’s phone and they’re definitely drunk…they won’t notice us.” Bringing your mouth to her neck to plant a few kisses down to her collarbone.
Mina lets out a whine that would be burnt into your brain for the rest of your life. The pure need that reverberated off your eardrums caused an ache that words could not explain.
Half-lidded brown eyes look up at you, a hand slips up and around your neck to pull you closer so your lips meet once more.
The dominance in her rattles you in the best way possible, her hand around your throat to tug you closer to her sent a shot of hunger through you like nothing else ever could.
“Do it” between the soft romantic pecks she was carefully placed on your jaw, gently kissing up to your ear just to let out the faintest whimper inciting you to grind against her thigh roughly to get some stimulation.
Your hand back to where it was on her swim suit, slipping down underneath the fabric to slip a finger between her fold and gently rub her clit.
A gasp leaves her lips, the tone of yearning so present that it sent you into a spiral of just wanting to please her. A need so strong that you could not have any thoughts aside from how her face would contort when you finally gave her what she wanted.
The sound of the glass door to the sauna opening brings both of you back to the present, removing you from how wrapped up in each other you were.
“Can you believe that this is what Jeongyeon and Tzu are missing out on? This house is amazing… and the weath-…are we interrupting?” Nayeon’s eye widen, arm flying out to stop Jihyo in her tracks as they both look up to see you straddling Mina.
Bless how strong the jets were so they couldn’t see that your hand was between Mina’s legs.
“No, no, we were just uhm…talking…” trying regulate your breath so they wouldn’t catch on.
Too late.
“Sure, you were….” Jihyo giggles and takes Nayeon by the hand, dragging her out of the spa area of the house.
Looking down at Mina, her hands are covering her face in embarrassment, you lean down and kiss her forehead. She spreads her pointer and middle fingers and peaks out at you, giggling out of shock.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’re gone now…” removing your hand from where it was and taking her wrists to pry her hands off her face.
“Maybe we should pick this up later…somewhere a little more private?” she’s tugging at the strings that are keeping your bottoms from falling completely off. The smirk that is displayed on her face is one that reflects the ache inside you.
“Maybe we should.” sliding off her lap and into the seat you were in before. Mina smiles at you, giggling and trying to cover her stunning smile with her hands as she gets out of the hot tub, holding her hand out to you so you don’t slip on the steps.
“What a gentle woman you are.” it’s so hard to not blush in her presence.
“Only for you.” kissing each knuckle on the hand and leading you to where your stuff was so you could dry off and cover up before walking through the house again.
Stepping out into the den, you see all eyes are on you and Mina as you make your way to the stairs and walk up them. You’re too wrapped in each other to even care that everyone is watching the two of you walk, hand in hand, to your room.
Getting up to the doors with the name plates, you tug her into your room, closing the door behind you before pushing her up against it, gently.
“I’ve thought about this before…” Mina husks as she feels your lips against her neck.
“Have you?” between the love bites you’re placing down her neck and onto her chest.
“Mhm…but it went a little differently…” there’s an inflection in her voice that you don’t recognize, a pang of dominance that made you want to let her take the reigns…but not without a little pushing.
“Oh yeah? How did that go then?” not budging in the slightest, waiting for her to make her move.
“Like this.” Mina grabs your waist, guiding you to switch places with her.
“I take it you want to be in charge then?” tucking a lock of her lustrous wavy hair behind her ear, before wrapping your arms around her neck.
“I might” an evil grin shines back at you, unsure of what was behind the reflection of the supposedly dominant Mina.
She weaves her fingers between yours, inching closer and closer towards your face until her nose is grazing yours - foreheads pressed together and her breath on your lips.
Too focused on just breathing properly, you don’t even notice that she’s raised your hands above your head and pinned them to the door effortlessly. Being in the position with her was something you never thought possible, but here you were…being pushed against a door and trapped by Mina.
“You like this…don’t you? I bet you never expected me to be the top and I was going to let you live out your dominant fantasy but…you’re so irresistible. I can’t help but want to-”
Heavy knocks against your back startle both of you.
“Yes?” the annoyance in your tone is very much heard through the door.
“Hey…”
Mina rolls her eyes.
“Of course, it’s Jihyo.” whispered to you after removing her hands from pinning you, finding something else to touch.
“uhm…we are going to watch a scary movie if you want to join us…un- unless you’re busy…we didn’t want to start it without you” Jihyo sounds like she knows what she’s intruding on, trying to get through the sentence without stuttering it seemed.
“We’ll change and will be down in a moment!” Mina shouted through the door, probably to assert her place in your room and let Jihyo know what was happening between the two of you.
The stern tone she took sent a chill down your body, a tense sensation between your legs further developed when she ran a single finger up your thigh, dragging along the re-dampened bathing suit - gliding it along your slit while keeping her eyes locked with yours.
Blinking a few times and trying to keep collected while she teases you. One hand spends it’s time tracing the outline of your pussy over the bottoms of the swim suit and the other is making it’s journey up to your neck, gripping it and squeezing ever so slightly just to see what you’d do.
Shuttering under her touch, you heard an “Okay! See you soon then!” as Jihyo makes her way down the stairs.
Listening as the foot steps retreat, Mina pulls the strings keeping your bottoms up, releasing them to the floor, your large shirt still covering most of you.
“I’ve been wondering for so long…” Mina drops to her knees lifting your shirt to expose how wet you were for her.
“… what you taste like” sliding her tongue between your folds and taking a single long lick right up to your clit.
Wanting to collapse under the pleasure of her tongue on you, you moan. Not caring who or what heard you. This flipped a switch inside you, wanting to grab her hair and use her face in a very vile way, but the look in her eyes stops you.
“I look forward to tasting more of you later.” The sound of her smacking her lips fills the room, gazing at her as she stands up and removes the cover of her swim suit before walking to the bathroom.
Frozen in place, you try to take in what just happened and are trying to grasp why it’s not still happening.
“Uhm, Mina?” following her to the big luxurious bathroom that was connected to your room.
“Why…? Can we uhm….” stammering through what you had hoped would be full sentences.
“Why what, darling?” Turning around to face you before pulling the strings that kept her top up, revealing her chest to you.
The smack of the swim suit on your bathroom floor doesn’t even phase you as you gawk at how beautiful Mina is…even more so now that her breasts are exposed to you.
Never thinking the shy Mina you had observed and heard about would be so bold…you just stand there and try to process the fact that not only did Mina Myoui lick your pussy but she was standing there…topless…in front of you…
“Cat got your tongue?” stepping closer to you, lifting your shirt as a signal to take it off, you comply happily.
Pulling the strings from your top, she exposes you even further. Standing there naked in front of her, she licks her lips and that sends you reeling.
“God, you’re so stunning…” eyes tracing every part of your skin.
Feeling your slick drip down your thighs, you try to clench them to get some form of relief.
This doesn’t go unnoticed.
Mina drops to her knees again, stopping the dribble of wetness with her tongue and bringing herself back up to where it originated from.
“Is this what you want, baby?” taking one big long lick of your cunt again.
“oh fuck…” escapes your throat in a whimper, she smirks from between your legs.
Standing up abruptly, she removed her bottoms and is now naked with you in this massive, fancy bathroom.
“Well, we have a movie date tonight so this will have to wait.” winking at you and kissing your lips so you can taste yourself on her mouth.
This turns your legs into jelly as she walks back to the room after hanging the bathing suits up.
“Can I wear a pair of your sweats and a tshirt?”
Following her to the room, you’re in a daze. Unable to comprehend what Mina’s tongue just did to you and how nonchalant she was about it all.
“…Y/n?”
“Oh! Uhm, yes. Whatever you want.” trying to snap back to reality but the nagging between your legs was screaming for more of her.
“You’re cute when you’re flustered…I’ll keep that in mind.” pulling out a big black T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants from your bag, slipping them on with no bra or panties.
Following this, you slip on your other pair of sweats and a shirt. Just doing what you assumed to be routine and trying not to focus on how badly you wanted her to touch you again.
Everything after this was a blur. Walking down the stairs, finding seats next to each other, her resting her legs on you, and even what movie you were watching was not something at the forefront of your mind.
You could only think about Mina.
On her knees.
Tongue buried in you.
Smacking her lips at your taste.
Halfway through the movie, you’ve calmed a bit enough to take in what was happening around you. Jihyo, Nayeon, Momo, and Sana had gotten more drinks and were giggling and laughing with each other.
Chaeyoung and Dahyun were on the verge of falling asleep and Mina was laying in your lap, between your legs with her head on your hipbone and the top knuckles of two her fingers hooked around your waistband.
Feeling yourself clenching at this, you try to hold her hand instead but it doesn’t work. She simply nuzzles into you more, bringing you right back into your horny daze of endlessly craving her touch.
Feeling how wet you were, you adjust slighty. This doesn’t go unnoticed at all. Mina lifts her head up at you, big brown eyes connecting with yours before she looks around the room and surveys what has everyone’s attention.
On the couch that was positioned behind yours, Jihyo, Momo, Nayeon, and Sana are distracted with each other and on the other couch across from you, Chaeyoung and Dahyun have fallen asleep.
Looking back to you, there’s a glimmer in her eyes, a sparkle you’d never seen before. She grabs a blanket that was on the end of the couch and pulls it up to her neck.
Assuming she was just cold, you place a hand on her back and rub slow circles to try and offer some warmth.
That’s when you feel it.
Mina scoots up so her shoulders align with your hips, she tugs your waistband down under your ass, the blanket hiding it all and slips a single finger between your lips before gently strokes your folds.
“Mina, what are you doing?” hushed tone filled with anxiety as she keeps on, rubbing and teasing your clit while you’re panicked and looking around to see if anyone will see what is happening.”
“They won’t notice, I promise. Plus, I just can’t resist you. I’ve wanted this for so long…keep quiet for me, baby.” whispered seductively to you before scooting down so her face was level with her hand and slowly dips her finger inside you just to pull it back out.
Hips bucking up, they betray your words and tell her that you wanted more of this despite being surrounded by her members and your best friend.
She lets out devious smirk before her head drops down, tongue replacing her finger on your clit for a long sensual lick.
Body betraying you in more ways than one, a string of slick attaches to her tongue, only breaking when she pulls it back into mouth to fully engulf herself in your flavor.
“You taste so good, I think I’ll devour you right here.” another lick as her finger slips inside you and starts pumping slowly.
The worry of anyone finding out about what was happening now thrusts to the back of your mind.
You don’t care, you just need her and she knew that. It was obvious, feeling yourself dripping all over her finger and the shimmering around her lips.
Mina continued on, licking your clit and pressing her fingers against your g-spot as you rocked your hips with her movements.
Running your fingers through her hair as you hissed out of pleasure, both of you freeze- hoping that no one heard the sound that erupted from the couch.
“You okay?” Jihyo inquired through her drunkenness.
“Yeah, I’m fine! Just sleepy.” lifting your arms and stretching them back to try and fool her, but you had your doubts that she believed you.
Mina started licking and sucking again as soon as Jihyo spoke and through out the interaction, not even worried about what anyone was thinking, focusing on you and only you.
The idea of getting caught made you nervous but you didn’t want her tongue to leave you for even a second. You’re sure she could feel how much your body liked the way she felt against you, you only wished she could hear how good it feel.
Another soft sigh leaves your lips, this one barely audible, as your hands grip her hair. Another finger slips in as she gradually picks up her pace.
Thrusting your hips up into her, you look down at her. The grip you have on her hair tells her everything she needs to know.
Mina suddenly stops, pulling your sweats back up as you twitch from the lack of stimulation. Breathing heavy and thoroughly confused, you glare at her and shake your head in confusion.
Climbing up to lay her head on your shoulder, she leans up to kiss you and you can taste yourself on her lips again.
She must like making you taste yourself, not that you were complaining.
“As much as I want to make you cum right now…I’d rather hear you.” Before getting comfortable curled up on your torso.
Slipping a hand under your shirt, she rolls one of your nipples causing you to involuntarily thrust your hips up.
“I want to keep you like this until later…when I can have you how I want you.”
Your heart is pounding in disbelief, pleasure, and nervousness. The concoction of emotions and chemicals flooding your veins is a strange and electric feeling.
The iced chill of adrenaline from what just happened makes you tense as the movie in the background plays on, not that you were paying attention.
Focused on Mina’s touch, deciding to give you a break after hearing your heart pound, she simply drew small hearts with the tip of her finger- ghosting your initials on your chest and giving you a sense of ease.
The clock ticked on with the rhythm of her traces against your skin, the movie played on and you stayed splayed out on the couch with Mina resting on your chest, patiently waiting for it to end so that you could have the time you wanted with her.
Eyes getting heavier and heavier as time goes on, fighting every mist of sleep that touched your eyes. Wanting to see what would happen when this movie ended and only jolting awake when Nayeon’s monstrous laugh echoed against the walls.
Ultimately losing the battle against sleep while Mina aided it.
The sound of the door knob rattling pulled you out of deep sleep and into a light trance. The arms around you felt familiar but not in the way you expected.
“Thank you, Hyo.” almost being able to see Mina roll her eyes as you were gently placed on the bed, unmoving to see how this conversation would play out.
“Mina…what’s with you today? You’ve been very cold to me and I’m not understanding why.” Jihyo seems adamant about getting an answer but you can hear the hesitation in Mina.
“You’re just so close…I’ve never liked someone like I like Y/n…and with the bond you have with her, I’m worried that she would rather be with you.” sadness in the huffed explanation wrenches your heart in a way you didn’t have words to explain.
“Mina…we are just friends. There is nothing going on between us. She likes you…and with both of you in my ear about it, I had the managers move your schedules so you could spend time together…why would I do that if I didn’t want you to be together?” Jihyo seems offended at what Mina has just said to her, only further proving that Jihyo was rooting for the two of you.
“You’re right…I’m sorry.” Realization hitting that she didn’t need to be so possessive of you, the tone she took in this was genuine.
“It’s okay. I understand. I promise you though, we just get along well. There’s nothing romantic there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Alright now go get some sleep! We are on vacation after all.”
The door closes and you aren’t sure what side of it Mina was on. That is until you felt the bed dip in next to you and the covers slither out from under you just to be thrown over top of you.
Rotating around, keeping your eyes closed you nuzzle into her neck and try to sleep again. Wrapping her arms around you, she kisses your forehead and follows you off to sleep.
The sound of birds chirping in the early morning wakes you, gently pulling you out of your Mina filled dreams to waking up next to her, still wrapped in her arms. Soft breaths from her ease any tension you would normally have, what a lovely way to start your day.
Eyes cracking open, letting in the milky orange light that was shining through the window, creating a golden hour that radiated Mina’s beauty when you didn’t think she could get more effervescent.
You could lay there with her all day and not have a single regret or pang of remorse. She was like a beautiful peace of art that was in motion, a painting come to life that you felt lucky to see with your own eyes, let alone be able to touch.
Laughing and heavy footsteps bring her out of sleep, sighing and shifting in place before relaxing back into you again. Switching spots with her, you sat up. Letting her rest her head on your chest while you mindlessly scrolled through your phone until she was finally awake.
Mina wasn’t much of a talker in the mornings, you learned. A grumpy little baby laid next to you, hiding her face in her hair and snuggling into your chest further.
“Good Morning, gorgeous.” kissing her forehead and petting her hair.
A soft smile greeted you back before quickly melting into a soft tired expression.
“You ready to start the day? We can go get coffee and start a fire.” trying to coax her out of bed with things that might actually get her up.
Mina shakes her head and wraps her arms around you tighter, signaling that she was in fact NOT ready to move at all.
“What if we got coffee…” Mina glares up at you between her bang, you can’t help but laugh at how adorable she was.
“Hear me out, hear me out! What if we got coffee, started a fire and I brought down some of those lego sets I brought for you and you can build one while enjoying the warmth? I can read a little while you do that. Sound good?” speaking in a hushed tone to allow her some time to acclimate to something other than the dreamscape she just left.
She nods her head quickly with a cheeky smile on her face, still holding you tightly and waiting for you to make the first move.
“Alright, then that’s our plan.” Kissing her forehead one last time before standing up to sort through the few boxes that you had brought with you.
Mina picked the lego bouquet of roses before she went to her own room to brush her teeth and change.
Doing the same, brushing your teeth and changing your shirt into an oversized crew neck sweater.
Grabbing the rose set as well as the specialty car you told her about, knowing she would want to build more after, and your book, you met Mina in the hallway. Making your way down to the kitchen together to get a mug of freshly made coffee.
Dahyun, Sana and Jihyo were in the kitchen making small talk as Sana flipped a pancake.
“Good Morning!!” Sana shot her hand up in the sky to wave at you boisterously, already full of energy.
This doesn’t surprise you at all. Dahyun winces at the ray of sunshine making breakfast but offers both of you a huge smile. Jihyo waves to both of you and carries on with her conversation. Nayeon and Momo are no where to be found while Chae is curled up on the couch in the living room snoring away while the snow falls outside.
“We were going to go out and build snowmen later, if you wanted to join us!” Sana seems so excited about it, it’s hard to turn her down.
“I think Mina and I are going to have a lazy day inside, but maybe tomorrow?” offering the alternative for her, knowing she would say yes.
“Tomorrow! Yes, you owe me a snowman building session tomorrow” pointing the spatula at you and then mina and then back at you before flipping the pancake onto the already made stack.
Sana serves everyone breakfast as Momo and Nayeon come down the stairs, sleep still filling their eyes.
Jihyo goes to wake Chaeyoung up and everyone eats breakfast and drinks coffee together. It’s so nice to be apart of this, it feels so…wholesome, to be brought into their little family even with a few of the members missing.
You feel accepted and at peace.
After breakfast ends, everyone but you and Mina go upstairs to suit up for the snow. Finding a quiet place in the den, you get a fire going while Mina goes and grabs you both mugs of hot chocolate.
Setting up on the coffee table, you spend an hour building the bouquet of roses lego set with Mina. Working together and adding piece by piece until it’s almost complete.
Unable to help yourself, you offer her a single plastic rose before finishing the set.
Mina blushes at the offer and kissing your cheek before finally adding the final piece to it.
“We did that so quickly.”
“We make a great team, I’d say.” nudging her with your elbow and winking.
Her face flushes again, grabbing your arm and hugging it tightly while resting her head on your shoulder, admiring the bouquet of roses make of plastic bricks.
“I did bring something else though. I had a feeling we would end up finishing this quickly so I brought one of the car sets down for you to do. I know these are your favorite.” offering her the box to a specially made Mint Green racecar with her Twice number on it.
Mina gasps, hands covering her mouth as she sees that the limited edition set. 1 of 1. Specially made per your request.
“Y/n…did you have this made for me?” Looking at you in disbelief before excitedly opening the box and dumping the bags full of pieces out.
“I wanted to get you something you’d be able to keep and know that it was yours. It was nothing, really. I just wanted to get you something special.” shying away from her as she looked up at you with an entirely new gaze.
All you can do is smile at her, you knew this was the perfect surprise for her and you were happy to see her reaction.
“It’s perfect…Thank you so much.” taking a moment to look into your eyes before ripping the bags open eagerly. You sit next to her and open your book, starting to read by the fire while Mina tinkered with the plastic blocks, building her very own Lego Race car.
A few hours in, you and Mina were just enjoying each other’s presence. Completely immersed in each other while doing your separate tasks while the rest of the girls play in the snow outside, you are completely content with everything happening.
“Y/n? Will you help me with this part?” Mina asks seemingly befuddled with what was in her hands.
“Sure!” sliding your bookmark back into the book and closing it shut before placing it up on the table.
Leaning over to see the instructions, you notice that the car is already built past that part. Raising an eyebrow at Mina, you look over and catch the spark in her eyes…
“I don’t actually need help with the legos.” smirked as she scooted into your lap, crossing her legs around your torso and locking you into place.
Mina removes your shirt, revealing a black lace bra that she had worn just for you.
Stunned was an understatement, you were gawking at her smooth chest and abs as she wrapped her arms around your neck.
“I can’t stop thinking about last night…” kissing you passionately in the middle of her sentence, gripping your hair while she does.
“…the way you tasted just…” another passionate kiss
“…I need more of you.” open mouthed entanglement leads you to lay down without removing your lips from her.
Back against the soft rug while Mina straddles you, making out without a care and just dissolving into each other. Hands land on her hips, you start to tug and push her against you, creating friction against her.
“Fuck” moaned into your mouth, grinding herself against you now before lifting up your torso and removing your crew neck, revealing no bra underneath.
Barely allowing her mouth to leave you, she keeps grinding against your thighs and you can feel how wet she’s becoming. Heat radiating from between her legs like the burn of the sun, she can’t help but thrust her hips harder against you.
Instincts kick in, hands tracing up behind Mina’s back to unhook the bra she was wearing and slipping it off her arms before setting it on the couch next to you.
Pulling her closer to you, pressing her body against yours, you try to roll her over onto her back but she stops you, not allowing you to be on top of her.
“That’s not how this is going to go” scooting down your legs and kissing from your neck, to your chest, to your stomach and eventually laying a few open mouthed kisses on your hips as she slowly brought your sweat pants down and off your body.
“I’ve been waiting too long and I’m impatient. I have to have you.” spreading your legs apart and kissing up your thighs, being sure to take her time biting and licking up to your soaked pussy.
Feeling your pulse inside yourself, heart beating so fast at the pure need that was illuminating off the both of you, and you can’t help but try to take a little charge by gripping her hair and bringing her where you wanted her.
Mina’s hands fly up, gathering your wrists while you’re too enthralled with what her mouth was doing, she keeps them in the grip of one of her hands.
“I don’t remember telling you to touch me.” the sternness in your words takes you by surprise, in the best way possible.
Dripping endlessly for her, you feel so empty without her inside of you. Already being so needy and thinking about how she teased you so much in the past 24 hours, you would so anything just to feel her lips on you for even a moment.
“Please, baby” huffed through the heavy breaths of anticipation as she inches closer and closer to exactly where you want her to be.
“Please, what?” looking into your eyes as she waits for your response.
“I need you.”
“You need me? Where do you need me?” smirking and waiting for you to say it.
“I need you to fuck me, please! You’ve teased me so much…I need to feel you on me.” as you state your case, Mina’s pointer finger glides through your drenched lips and she tastes your slick right off of it, moaning at the flavor.
“Mina…please!” about to cry from how badly you want it.
How badly you want her.
Without a word, Mina’s mouth is on you again. Taking the long licks up your pussy and back down again, teasing your entrance and clit on both passes.
Hips now thrusting on their own, you follow her patterns and whimper at every tease she has given you. Tongue swiping across your entrance and then back up to your clit, before she finally starts placing soft pecks right where you wanted her.
“Oh, fuck…Mina, p-please.” grinding down on her tongue while she keeps your wrists locked in her hand.
Her pace speeds up, lapping at your folds before latching herself onto your clit and creating a circular pattern with her tongue.
The fire in your stomach rages on, burning every single molecule of any thought you had, with the exception of her and every single pass of her tongue on you.
The ache for her inside you was earthshattering, you needed to feel her long fingers thrusting into you.
She must’ve heard your thoughts.
As you whined and whimpered for her, she let go of your wrists, wrapping one arm around your thigh, and the other gathering up your essence before plunging two fingers inside of you with ease.
The gasp you let out must’ve been music to her ears, your hips lurching forward to feel her deeper inside of you. Eagerness and need refracting off the thing sheen of sweat that was seeping through your pores, the harsh breaths that became heavier with each pump of her fingers and swipe of her tongue.
It was not long before the flicking of her tongue that had built the foundation of the orgasm that was about to shatter through you. Her digits hastily pressing and releasing inside of you was so heavenly, you couldn’t hold it any longer.
“I’m g-gonna, fuck, cum!”
Mina detaches her mouth from you for a moment, eyeing your neediness and desire for release before teasing you further. Her fingers never stop.
“You’re going to cum for me? Already?” kissing your inner thighs as she admires the mess she made of you.
“Going to be a good girl and cum in my mouth, baby?” seductively growled from between your legs before she places her mouth back on you.
This sends you into overdrive, clawing at the rug underneath you to feel some form of stability when her mouth returns to you and you become undone.
Twitching and convulsing under her as pure ethereal ecstasy sinks into your skin, veins flash hot and then cold as you feel the rush of pleasure that Mina was expertly giving you. Gasping and reaching for something to grip while you continue riding out your orgasm on Mina’s fingers and mouth before finally collapsing and just trying to catch your breath.
Mina smirks from between your legs, propping herself up on her elbows, pulling her fingers out of you, and sucking them dry. Being sure you watch her lick her lips clean.
She crawls up next to you, snuggling into you neck and laying soft, gentle kisses on your cheeks, swiping away the strands of hair stuck to your face while you lay there in awe of her.
“Myoui Mina…what a surprise you are.” between the breaths you were trying to stabilize.
“Oh, this is just round one…” proactively murmured to you, followed by a playful giggle and another peck to the cheek.
Turning your head to look at her in shock, unable to comprehend how someone who seems so shy is actually so…bold.
“Round…one?”
Mina pushes your head away from her and bites down harshly on your neck, reignited the flame she just quelled within you. Kissing your skin lightly, she gives you another harsh bite farther down your neck.
“Mhm…put your clothes on…we are going upstairs” sitting up and dragging your cloths off the couch before throwing your pants and shirt at you, watching as you put them on in a panic and scamper for the stairs.
Mina laughs and throws her shirt on, grabbing the lace bra and taking off after you- racing after you upstairs to your room.
You get to the door first, almost ripping it off the hinges and dive onto the bed- she’s laughing as she steps in about 5 seconds after you.
A grin painted on her face as she closes the door and locks it behind her, immediately removing her shirt and letting her pants hit the floor.
A black lace thong, matching the bra she previously wore, was the only thing she was wearing and you wanted it off immediately.
Sitting up on the bed, you stripped your clothes off so fast you thought they might rip, tossing them to the side and patiently waiting for her to come over to you.
Mina crawls over top of you, face mere centimeters away as she forces you down on your back again.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” Caressing your cheeks before connecting your lips again, pressing her body against you completely.
Taking the opportunity and using her vulnerability against her, you sweep your leg around her, rolling her over in the process and pinning her to the mattress without ever separating from her lips.
Pinning her hands above her, you kiss down her neck to her chest, bringing her nipple in your mouth and swirling your tongue around it briefly.
Letting go of her wrists, she’s quick to grip the hair on the back of your head, bringing you closer to her and moaning with each pass of your tongue over your nipple.
Sitting up to slip her lace panties off, Mina lifts her hips for you so you can easily peel them off of her. With this movement, you are able to see how soaked her panties actually were.
“Someone is excited, hm?” Winking up at her and tossing her underwear with the rest of your clothes.
Bringing your face down and level with her pussy, you flatten your tongue against her folds and fully taste her.
Gasping at the feeling of your tongue, she’s quick to grip your hair again, steering your head where she wanted it. It was very clear who was in charge but she was willing to let you pretend.
After a few minutes of Mina whining while thrusting into your face. She tugs your hair up, pulling you away from her, and signaling you to come up to her.
This was a trick.
She flips you over, crawling up your body and pinning your down shoulders with her knees.
Her pussy so close to your mouth, you’re drooling for it as you watch her drip onto your chest.
She grabs you by your hair and mounts your face.
“You’re going to do exactly what I say, isn’t that right baby?” Growled at you from above paired with a menacing glare.
Nodding your head eagerly, you’re ready for whatever she brings.
“Good girl, now stick out your tongue for me.”
You spend the rest of your day and night doing exactly what you’re told, in your room with the bed bumping against the walls matching the grunts and groans of pleasure that the entire house could hear…even with it being so large.
Bright rays of sunlight burst through the curtains that you slid shut the afternoon before, waking you from your peaceful sleep. Shifting a bit, you stretch and sigh as you allow your body to wake up.
Muttering under your breath at the soreness you seemed to have gathered from the night before, you stand up and head to the bathroom for a shower to rinse the sex off your body.
Stretching again once you stand, your legs are threaten to come out from under you with each step as you make your way to the bathroom, trying to be as silent as possible to not wake up the woman that made you ache in two different ways.
Leaving the door ajar so the latch wouldn’t wake Mina, you flick the lights on. Approaching the mirror, you take in the deep shades of purple and red that littered your body from head to toe.
“Oh…shit.” Pulling the skin taut and trying to plan out how you were going to hide these marks all over you.
The door swings open, a hand flies to the wall, hitting the button to turn the shower on. A sigh travels through the room before arms wrap around your waist from behind and a warm cheek lands on your back.
“Good morning,” muffled against your back.
“Good morning, my little vampire.”
“Your what?” Furrowing her brows at you while trying to understand the statement while half asleep.
“Look at the marks you made” lifting your chin up to show her.
Mina opens her eyes, peaking over your shoulder, looking at you in confusion until she sees the marks she left all over your neck, chest and thighs.
“Oh my god?!” Concern in her voice as she lets go of you to get in front of you and inspect your marks further.
Gently turning your head, looking at your neck to see big bruises and bite marks that trail down to your chest and hips.
“I’m so sorry, honey…I guess I got a little carried away…I hope the girls don’t pay too much attention to them” shying away from you, hiding in shame and worry.
“Hey hey hey,” pulling her towards you, holding her close.
“I enjoyed every second of yesterday. Even the marks, okay? And I’m sure they won’t notice them. I’ll wear my hair down so they’re covered, okay?” Rubbing her arms for reassurance.
“Besides, I think they’re my color. Don’t you?” Showing them off in a fashionable way to get a laugh out of her.
“Okay okaaaaaay, but you know that if there’s ever anything that I do in the bedroom that you don’t like…you can tell me and we won’t do that again, right?” Dragging a finger down your chest gently, biting her bottom lip before looking up at you.
“I know. I trust you. And for what it’s worth…I wouldn’t change a single thing about what happened yesterday…except maybe finishing the Lego set. But we can do that today!” Kissing her forehead and rubbing her back.
Mina flashes a gummy smile and giggles before pulling you into the shower with her to perform some morning after aftercare.
Spinning you around, Mina gently washed your hair and back, sudsing you up and letting you stand in the warm water as she rinses you off.
Sensing some tension, you can tell something is on her mind. Grabbing her hand, weaving your fingers together before she can lather your chest up with soap, you cock your head to the side.
“Everything okay? You seem a little tense”
“Yeah…I just…Can I ask you something?” shy returning, you can tell it’s taken her a moment to build up the courage to say what she wants to.
“Of course, you can ask me anything.” Reassuring her that this was a safe space to say whatever she needed.
“Would you…uhm….want to…” her eyes shift in nervousness, you find it adorable.
“…be my girlfriend?” Her eyes hit the floor, waiting for your reply.
Lifting her chin up to make eye contact with you, you admire her face, caressing her cheek before placing a romantic soft kiss on her lips.
“I’d love to.”
Mina’s gummy smile returns once again, she’s giddy at your response and your heart soars with care for this person that you had admired, who was now your partner in crime.
You finish cleaning yourselves up and get dressed, heading down stairs to get some breakfast. Both of you starving from your rigorous activities the day prior.
Momo is cooking breakfast, everyone is sitting around the table as you and Mina make your way to your seats.
Wincing as you sit down, trying to get comfortable with the soreness that was through out your body. Mina sees the discomfort in you, rubbing your shoulder to try and ease some of it.
“Good Morning, you two!” Sana is beaming and repressing laughter as she take sight of both of you.
“Yeah, good moOoOoOrning” Nayeon seems to be teasing the two of you when Jihyo walks into the kitchen and sees you both sitting there, hiding the shame of everyone knowing what you’ve been up to.
It’s apparent that she notices the dark marks along your neck and the awkward way you’re sitting in the chair.
Well, fuck.
A huge smile spreads across her face, whipping around to Dahyun’s spot at the table, she runs over and starts shimmying and jumping up and down in celebration.
“HA! Dahyun! Pay up!” Jihyo stretches her hand out to Dahyun.
“Pay up?” Questioning what just came out of Jihyo’s mouth, one brow raised at the statement.
Dahyun sighs, slapping a $20 into Jihyo’s hand before looking dead at you.
“We had a bet going. I said you would be the top and Jihyo said it would be Mina…And you LET ME DOWN!” Slamming her hands on the table dramatically while everyone around you bursted into laughter.
“Yeah right, Dubu! Mina cannot be out topped.” Momo chimed in while bringing an array of food to the table with Sana and Nayeon following with trays of various fruits, bacon, sausage, waffles and toast.
“But Y/n has always been the more dominant one in all of her relationships! I thought this would be the same!” Distraught in her words, Dahyun lays her head on the table accepting her defeat.
“Wait…how did you know we would even get together?” Mina inquired to everyone.
“That’s a joke, right? The amount you two talked about each other to us…it was obvious. We just had to push a little. Plus, Mina you’ve had a crush on Y/n since Dahyun showed you pictures of their last vacation together.” Jihyo chimed in with Nayeon giggling in the background.
“I tried to get them to let it happen naturally but SOME people…” Momo glaring at Chae and Sana.
“…wanted to push. I’ll admit, I’m happy they did.” Momo is smiling at the two of you, while everyone else is arguing about who contributed to you ultimately getting together.
You and Mina join hands under the table, laughing at the chaos around you and happy to see the support and love from the rest of the girls.
609 notes · View notes
sonolynn · 5 months ago
Text
A Fools Game
request | would love to see your take on Aemond feeling like a fool. Aemond thinks he charmed someone all on his own, only to find out they were pressured into pursuing him by a power-hungry family member, much like Alicent with Viscerys 👀
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summary | Aemond thought you loved him.
paring | Aemond x Fem!Reader
tags | swearing, unrequited love, arranged marriage, hurt no comfort, angst, miscommunication kinda, not proof read.
w.c | 1.3k
note(s) | I love angst. I love angst so much.
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____________________________________________
Aemond loved you. Whole heartedly he loved you. He never thought himself capable of love or being loved, but somehow you changed that; changed his way of thinking and his way of everyday life. He didn’t like it, at first. He thought at first that this new way of life that was instructed by you was something to feel scared about, or to fear. It wasn’t until he got to know you-truly know you-that he found himself drowning in what it was like to love you. 
While he was courting you it felt surreal. He had charmed his way into your heart and your affections with all but simple words and small touches. He thought himself to be a human for once. Not a mindless sword for the crown but a human-perhaps even a boy. 
When he asked you to marry him he thought you would say yes immediately, but when you said you needed to think he felt a little bit of his resolve crumble away and fill with anxiety. 
____________________________________________
“He asked me if I should marry him.” You told Queen Alicent. The queen nodded at your words, pacing back and forth in front of the fire. Your family had been a vital part of the crown’s court for generations. Your father had gifted the crown lots of gold, and even more weapons and military assistance with what you could spare. More times than you could count your father had saved King Viserys’ ass. 
Hence why now, the queen was pressuring you into marrying her son. A marriage between the great Targaryen’s and your house would surely be prosperous for both sides. 
“And you said yes?” Alicent asked. You had always felt the pressure to say yes to anything the prince had asked you; You did not find him scary, or intimidating as most did, but you didn’t know if you could love him like how he seemed to love you, at least, not with the pressures of his family.
“I told him that I would think about it, your grace.” At your words Alicent stopped and she turned back to you. 
“Think about it?” 
“Yes, your grace-” 
“You will say yes.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and nodded slowly. You knew that this was coming, you knew that you had no choice in the outcome of your own life. You were born into this, being the firstborn daughter of your family and all. From the minute the maester declared your gender you no longer had a choice in what you would choose to do in your life. Your decisions, your actions and your fate all rested in the hands of powerful men and women. 
So, when Alicent told you that you would say yes to the prince, you only nodded softly and went on your way. A pain in your chest that you couldn’t yet seem to pinpoint. 
____________________________________________
When the day finally came for the wedding the whole keep was a bustle. Servants ran around, preparing the decorations and the food and almost everything. You, however, sat in your chambers, staring at yourself in the mirror as the servant behind you did your hair. 
Aemond found himself excited, marrying the girl-no, women-that he had fallen in love with made his head spin and his heart burn in anticipation to see you in your white dress. 
You, however, didn’t recognize yourself, decorated in gold and ivory like a doll for Alicent Hightower to play with. Your hair had adjournments and jewels that you had never seen before, and your dress was starting to feel too tight. You quickly stood from your seat, and you walked to Alicent’s chambers. 
The minute you got to Alicent’s room, seeing her sit in her chair as a servant did her hair, you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you. If you backed out now surely your father would hate you for it…But you were done looking out for others. 
“I can’t marry the prince.” You spoke quietly, but Alicent heard you. She stood slowly, pushing the servant back a little. 
“You are just nervous. You shouldn’t say such things-” “The only thing that I am nervous about is being thrown into a loveless marriage! I cannot marry the prince lest I drive myself insane!” Alicent paused, and she gave you a look; a warning look. But you ignored the look, only to continue talking. “I have never looked out for myself. Not truly. But for once I wish to be able to make my own decision without that of a higher power!” 
You watched Alicent’s eyes drift from your eyes to behind you, and her breath caught in her throat. 
“Aemond.” 
You froze as she spoke the name, and you turned quickly, only to be faced with that of the young prince. Your heart broke, something you didn’t know it could do for the prince. You watched his wide eye, his soft frown as he stared down at you. 
“My mother forced you to do this?” He spoke carefully, his voice slightly wavering. You watched, as the last bit of excitement in the prince's eyes drained out into something more; hurt and betrayal. 
“M-My prince-” You went to speak, but Aemond quickly turned, his hair falling over his shoulder blades as he rushed out of the room. You sighed heavily and followed him, calling out his name. 
As he descended down the stairs, you quickly picked up your dress and ran after him. 
“Aemond, wait! Please! You do not understand-” 
“I understand enough!” His voice was loud, he was truly yelling, which caused you to stop and stare down at him. His one eye was slightly red, and his jaw was clenched. 
“Aemond-” 
“I understand. I understand that my mother is a two tongued cunt who forces others to bend at her will. But I did not expect you to be so easily pliable.” Your face hardened at that, and you glared at him. 
“How is it that when looking out for myself, I become pliable! I wish to live a life in which I do not have my decisions made for me-” 
“You could have had that with me!” Aemond spoke frantically, looking up at you with soft eyes as his voice tore between the lines of hurt and fury. “I would have loved and cherished you with everything I had!” 
You scoffed. “Loved? When does love ever come out of a political marriage?” 
“Political?” His face softened into confusion and he looked up at you, his eye tracing over your face in disbelief. You looked at him with the same amount of confusion. 
“This marriage. It is political.” 
“No. No, this marriage is because I find my heart at your feet.” You stopped at his words, staring at him with an expression slowly turning into that of shock. 
“You care for me?” 
“No, I fucking love you!” He stares for a moment longer, before he speaks again. “But now I see what it truly is. Forgive me, my lady.” He gave you a quick nod of his head before he turned and returned to his descent down the stairs. You stood frozen, looking at his back as tears formed in your eyes. You knew this wedding would go on no matter what happened, but this complicated things, so many things. 
As Aemond walked away he felt his heart beating faster. How could he not hate? Why, out of all of this new found hurt did he still feel a connection towards you? 
He wished to scream, he wished to punch the walls until his knuckles went raw and bloody. He wanted to do so many things but he seemed paralyzed to action as your words rang through his head. You never wished to marry him, you wished to please his mother. Gods did he feel like a fool. 
A mistake he vowed he’d never make again.
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awkward-tension-art · 7 months ago
Text
Clones as expectant fathers
I am an actual nero-cancer researcher. I have a job and a degree. And my ADHD brain saw sad military men and went “I want that one”
Clones: Rex, Wolffe, Fox, Cody and Fives
CW: pregnancy, the clones all have a ‘secret’ SO, They are expecting a baby, A little angsty with Fox, there's slight mentions of smut with Fives (if you squint), swearing, this is just supposed to be a good time, its not reader insert
Minors do not interact!
Rex
Terrified. Also overjoyed. But mostly terrified. 
He’s a soldier. Captain of the 501st, the most….adventurous of the GAR. His chances of dying on the battlefield and leaving his SO behind are higher than the average clone
And now he may leave behind his child? His kid may grow up without a father
He gets nervous. Anxious and antsy, and it's very VERY easy for Anakin to figure out Rex isn’t entire OK
Rex doesn’t even need to tell Anakin.
Skywalker takes one look at him and just KNOWS.
“Congrats, Rex.” “...on what, sir?” “If it's a boy, name him after me.” “WHAT!?”
Ahsoka needs to be told and she’s more excited than Rex when she finds out. 
“Come on Rex! Name them after me! The republic needs an Ahsoka jr!” “And if the baby is a boy?” “Don’t name them after skyguy, please!”
Most of the 501st don't know. Too many people knowing raises the chance of less accepting individuals knowing. And if that happens, Rex, his SO and his baby may be in danger.
It’s forbidden for the clones to have SO’s, not to mention babies. It could end with Rex being decommissioned or reconditioned if it was found out he had both
Rex will visit and help as much as he can every chance he gets. He feels terrible for leaving his SO for long stretches of time during the pregnancy. 
He WANTS to be there…he just can’t. Not while the war was going on
Despite his terror, Rex is…overjoyed
He didn’t think children were possible for him. He knew it could happen, but he didn’t think HE would ever know this happiness
The first time he feels his baby move in his SO, he’d get this sweetest smile on his face. He’ll kiss the baby bump and just murmur words of love in mando’a
He falls head-over-heels in love all over again
As the due date approaches, Anakin asks an important question
“Captain, I need to know when your baby might be born.” “...why, sir?” “Because I need to know when to take extended leave.”
Anakin tells Padme, and she is beyond sweet. Even visits Rex’s SO and the two have a wonderful friendship
All in all, Rex is both excited and anxious. But having so much support from Anakin, Ahsoka and Padme (and his other brothers who find out much later) helps him a lot
Wolffe
More relaxed. And by relaxed I mean he hides his anxiety better. And it doesn’t exactly hit him as hard
Partly because Plo Koon and the entire Wolfpack knows about his relationship already. 
So you bet your ass the pack celebrates when Wolffe tells them he's going to be a father
Plo Koon especially is excited
“How wonderful, new life being born during times of war” “I’m not naming my child after you, general Plo.” “Nonsense! The child will be a girl.”
During battle, Wolffe finds himself being protected by his brothers and General a tad more
At first he writes it off as a coincidence, but then Boost lets slip during a battle “You gotta get back to your little one!”
He gives his men a bit of a lecture. He’s not incapable of fighting or defending himself. He thinks the message gets across but Plo chimes in with, “Ah yes, the stern words of a father already!”
Wolffe would probably see his SO more frequently than Rex. Just because Plo would more than likely spend more time on Coruscant.
He’s definitely protective. As in, waking up in the middle of the night to check all the windows, protective. Keeping an arm around his SO, protective. Every symptom or sign of discomfort he calls a medical droid, protective.
He’s not stupid, he is well aware that by having an SO and a child on the way he's in violation of several rules. All of which, when broken, would have him decommissioned
But dammit, he's not letting that happen. Wolffe will be there for his SO and his baby, no matter what
Since he’s able to spend more time with his SO, he’s there to feel the first movements of his baby.
It sort of causes him to short-circuit for a second. It hits him that yes, this is a life that he and his SO both created. Out of love.
Wolffe makes a swear that he’s going to protect his baby at all costs
Grandpa Plo does as well, but the Wolfpack doesn’t know that
Fox (kinda angst)
First of all congratulations to the SO for actually managing to be Fox’s SO
They got to be something special for the head of Palpatine’s personal guard to break rules and regulations and find himself an SO
Speaking of Palpatine, congratulations to Fox! Your SO is now in even more danger!
No, seriously. Palpatine knows before Fox. No one knows how, but he knows.
And he absolutely will use Fox’s SO as leverage to keep him under control
And Fox knows this, so he behaves. More so than usual.
He’s not blind. Hes fiercely loyal to the republic, but one step out of line and the (very few) things he cares about will be killed
Which…is why Fox may come across as cold or uninterested when his SO informs him of their pregnancy
A part of him is terrified, he just won’t show it
He’s not going to be more affectionate or anything. He actually acts pretty normal. Which is standoffish.
Despite his…demeanor, he actually manages to be present for the entirety of the pregnancy. It helps being a Coruscant guard, which means he’s more present than all the other clones.
He’s not moving mountains or anything, but he’ll get snacks in the middle of the night in case of cravings
No one else knows about Fox and his SO. not even his own men. He refuses to tell anyone. 
Its for his SO’s protection
But Palpatine, the sick fuck, slips some words to get Fox’s nerves into overdrive
“This war is taking such a toll. So many dead children…so many grief stricken parents” “Sir?” “Oh nothing. Just stating the fact that the loss of an innocent life, such as…a baby, is always a tragedy. Wouldn’t you agree, commander?”
He found himself walking home a bit faster that day and hugs his SO a little tighter that night
Fox cares, in his own way. He’s just beyond stressed and anxious. But you wouldn’t know. He hides it behind a mask. 
It's actually Padme that finds out. And she feels somewhat bad for Fox. She thinks his anxiety comes from the fact that clones aren't allowed SO’s or children
Which, it is, but theres the added threat of fucking Palpatine.
She ends up getting him to tell her the truth and she swears to secrecy. Even offers to hire his SO as some sort of assistant, if only so Fox can be closer to his SO
Hear me out, he actually breaks down when he feels the baby move. He can’t fully handle it anymore and shuts down. 
This is a baby. His baby. They're alive and already so loved.
Something in him clicks and he accepts Padme’s help. 
His terror gets easier, ever so slightly. But he keeps his collected and calm front.
Cody
“General Kenobi-” “Ah! Commander Cody! Congratulations!”
goddamnit.exe
Cody is a tad more relaxed than Rex, but more tense than Wolffe
He knows Kenobi isn’t going to punish him or force him back to Kamino for decommissioning, he’s still a little on guard.
But, since Kenobi knows, Anakin does. So does Ahsoka. Which means Rex knows.
goddamnit2.exe
More people in the 501st know than in the 212th which gives him the biggest headache
Waxer knows though. Cody had to tell someone that wasn’t a sarcastic general
He does a good job hiding his worry though
Cody is able to spend about the same amount of time as Rex with his SO
He doesn’t feel as bad as Rex when it comes to the lack of presence he has during the pregnancy
It's war. It sucks and he’d prefer to be there for his SO, but he’d also prefer SO and child have freedom from the separatists
I will say, he is pretty attentive when he isn’t off in space.
Foot rubs, shoulders massages, helping with cravings
One thing Cody does is that he’ll wrap his arms under his SO’s baby bump and lift it slightly, giving his SO’s back some relief
He really loves to do this because his SO just melts
Hear me out, Cody gets giggly when he feels the baby move/kick the first time
His palm is on the bump and he feels that first little flutter against his hand
404 Commander Cody has his amygdala broken from joy. Reboot?
He’ll actually tell Kenobi about it because he’s so happy.
“That's wonderful Cody, but I still question one thing.” “What is it, sir?” “How you managed to get laid to begin with.”
Goddamnit3.exe
Fives
“Hey everyone! I’m gonna be a dad!”
Ecstatic is not a strong enough word
Also not subtle at all
There is a solid 3 hours until everyone in the 501st knows
He’s told Echo before the first hour. Rex knew within 2 hours.
Fives is BEYOND over the moon
He gets this small smile on his face that just doesn’t go away
Whenever he’s not with his SO, he definitely calls them every day. He wants updates on the little one
Also, seeing his SO with a baby bump? Unlocks something inside his brain.
Fives is incredibly horny when he’s with his SO. He’ll be rubbing their middle and getting a puppy dog look in his eye.
Only if his SO is in the mood of course! He’d never try and be forceful
He’s probably the clone that takes the distance the hardest. He debates taking a ship and making a run for Coruscant on more than one occasion.
In the end he settles to ask Anakin for extended leave.
Anakin is also extremely happy for Fives. Like with Rex, he makes a “name the baby after me” joke
Fives brings that up to his SO and nearly gets smacked. He also makes a “Fives jr.” joke and actually does get smacked.
When Fives feels the baby kick, he gets high on happiness. Actual mumbling incoherent words of love and affection in Mando’a
Lots and lots of “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum”
He also gets very VERY affectionate with his SO
Kisses his SO’s face a lot. Even as a greeting, he’ll just start peppering their cheeks with pecks
Also probably the only one ballsy enough to ASK his general for extended leave
“Excuse me, general Skywalker? I’ll need to take leave at this date.” “Oh, yea sure. You know what? That seems like a good time for all the men to take a break. Thanks, Fives.”
He’s also probably the only one ballsy enough to actually take his new born baby onto a fucking battleship to introduce everyone.
“This is your uncle Rex. This is your uncle Echo and your uncle Tup. That's your auntie Ahsoka!” “Fives what the FUCK are you doing?!” “Introducing the family, captain.”
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thebadboyfanclub · 6 months ago
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One Can Only Hope (Cregan x Reader)
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First of, I don’t know why this particular song was stuck in my head while I was writing but I think it fits the aesthetic of how the couple works together, also I don’t care that they didn’t pick this actor for me THAT is what Cregan stark looks like, and also sorry for not adding the last detail it just naturally went with a different approach
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'may I present my second-born child and my precious only daughter, (y/n) Targaryen, the heiress of driftmark"
(y/n) bowed lightly before the stoic man that it deserves to be noted how thick his fur was which engulfed him, the man nodded as a sign of acknowledgment to the princess and the young heiress (y/n) could swear that she detected a faint smile forming on his lips, to be quite fair no one could tell since the lords' lips were faintly visible due to his distinguished beard, once (y/n)s deep blue eyes met his there was an instant influence on her that cause her to slightly shiver, mostly from anxiety and somewhat fear of the unknown.
(Y/n) could only describe the sensation similar to placing yourself at the very sharp edge of a tall cliff, as one would gaze down at the water the little voice would whisper to take a plunge, release yourself from the shackles of overthinking, whilst your mind begged you to take a step back and forget about all of this.
Unfortunately (y/n) was well aware of the reason why she had to take this long of a flight on dragon back and introduce herself to the new lord of the North, her mother had put a tremendous amount of effort into making this a trip that could be enjoyable too (y/n) but to no avail, she did not blame her mother, ever since she was a toddler (y/n) would catch whispers of numerous people around her castle that would venture on whom she would marry, as the moons passed and (y/n) became a lady the pressure became tighter than her corset.
"judging by the tremble and pink nose you are not accustomed to such a cold environment"
"I'm afraid not, I am willing to try though, if need be"
She suggested as her voice usually would be colourful and loud- something that princess rhaenyra adored- was now barely audible, Rhaenyra dreaded asking this of her only daughter, seven hells the reason she even had (y/n) was because of her failed match that was created under ambition and desperation for allegiance, now she had to bare the curse of the prey becoming the hunter as she set her daughter up in hopes this could bring peace and safety not only to the realm but to their family.
“It is an honor to have the Targaryen family as our guest, I believe last time it was with Queen Alyssane, was it not?”
“Indeed, my lord, though I cannot recall if we have ever United our house bloodline”
“That is correct, such a pity don’t you think Princess Rhaenyra? We must correct that mistake as fast as we can, before all that let me escort you to your chambers, you must rest after such travel”
Cregan's humor was a breath of fresh air for mother and daughter, both of them felt more comfortable through his commentary and light-hearted chatter.
Rhaenyra was extremely thankful that her daughter understood why this must be done if she had to be completely honest with herself partially the reason she chose Cregan as her daughter's match was how the whispers of his strength and his handsome nature made it to the red keep, another thing was a desperate attempt on keeping her daughter guarded, mayhaps if she found refuge in the north of the vicious Hightowers pushed Rhaenyra to war (y/n) would be tucked away and protected by the Lord.
As they walked through the castle Cregan started blabbering about all kinds of things his brain could master, he was certainly nervous when he got the letter from Rhaenyra herself asking for her daughter to be betrothed to him, Targaryen and Starks had, of course, rumors of laying together but never being United in the eyes of the Gods, and to add the fact that the lady is in line for the throne, the wedlock and children would bring such different aspect to his house.
"the lady of the north has to endure the stinging sensation of the icy air, but I believe having a humungous dragon that spews fire on command should help"
Rhaenyra smiled at the slight declaration of interest and almost a very subtle way of claiming their betrothal to be a fact, it was (y/n) 's turn to nod excitedly and let out a small giggle, Cregan was not a man that went unnoticed, young, tall, strong, beautiful, any woman of her status would thank the gods for such a match and a part of her was curious.
Due to the small sign of hope (y/n) careless tucked a strand behind her ear, revealing a part of her to the Lord that he had never seen before.
“Your ear”
He said almost in a question, subconsciously his head tilted in order to get a better view, hastily (y/n) let her hair fall back again, concealing her left ear, flustered and internally cursing herself.
“I don’t believe I have seen something like it before”
“I apologize, I-it is-“
“Unique, I know that Targaryens usually have violet eyes as your mother has, however, I can only guess you found that boring and chose something entirely different, you have quite the taste”
(Y/n)s eyes slightly widen at the kind-hearted nature of Cregan's comment, (y/n) was born with pointy ears, her mother would always jest that it was because the fairies brought (y/n) to her as a gift, others would say that the Targaryens started to blend more with their dragons and that Rhaenyra indulged in blood magic to have the daughter she always wanted.
Gossip and fairytales aside, (y/n) tried her best to conceal that little thing like a well-kept secret that she now had pulled the covers from. Cregan only smiled, (y/n) seemed like a peach on a summer day, full of sweetness, and the nectar could bring back the dead, her smile could make your teeth hurt like how they used to when he ate pie, the pointy ears in his eyes only gave her a boost in her ethereal presence.
Despite that (y/n) had to acknowledge that the man was nothing but a stranger, she had witnessed countless loveless marriages and men that sucked the life out of their wives,  besides all of that she pushed those types of thoughts to the side and masked her dark thoughts for the future with a brave face.
-
"Mother!"
(Y/n) exclaimed as she skipped over to Rhaenyra who rushed to her daughter's side, it had been months since (y/n) had seen her mother, and as content as she was with her new life no one could replace the place Rhaenyra had in her daughter's heart.
"oh my dearest, how lovely it is to see you, take a turn for me let me look at you"
(y/n) let out a snicker at her mother's request even though she complied almost immediately making Rhaenyra nod in approval, to no one’s surprise (y/n) had grown to be a proper lady, her red cape with the thick lining and fur, her hair down and disheveld from riding her dragon, plump red cheeks from eating well, and how could one forget her smile, shining through the realm and blessing her mother with a sigh of relief, Rhaenyra was relieved to say the slightest that her only daughter was taken care of.
"Princess, thank you for inviting us"
"nonsense, I would take any chance to see my baby"
"Mother" (y/n) whispered in embarrassment
"hush now young lady, to me, you will always remain the small babe that curled in my arms, you will know what I'm talking about sooner than late"
"about that, Mother, it might be sooner than you anticipate"
Rhaenyra froze in her spot, her eyes doubling their original size as an audible inhale of breath was heard, (y/n) 's eyes watered and her arms seemed to have a slight tremble whilst she took off her cape to reveal the cutest swollen belly. Rhaenyra stood still for only a second before she wrapped her arms as tight as she possibly could around (y/n) who did the same.
"no, my baby, why didn't you write me about this?"
"I-"
"We wanted to wait this time, I believe you understand, (y/n) wanted to tell you as soon as possible, I advised her not to, forgive me, princess"
Rhaenyra might not have birthed Cregan though she had given birth to (y/n) and that meant that she knew when her daughter was hiding, like now.
(Y/n) wanted to be cautious, after they suffered an early loss of their first baby before her belly could even swell, inevitable fear overtook her, she had refused to ride her dragon for the first three moons and she did her best to remain abed as much as possible.
Thankfully, Cregan shook her out of it, asking her to take a walk as often as his duties allowed him to, he would also attempt to ever so casually bring up how her dragon kept all of the town awake from roaring and complaining, even for this visit  (y/n) only agreed after Cregan offered to get up on the dragon with her so she can feel safe.
"it doesn't matter, all that I care about is that my baby is happy and healthy"
"Don't worry Mother, the north has been extremely good to me"
“For that I am certain, well then, let us celebrate, my little babe is having a little babe”
-
"It is good to see you back and we’ll, my lord"
"it is good to be back, especially with such a catch might I add, tell the cook to prepare the Stagg for supper, give the wild pig for you and the others"
"you are utmost gracious my lord, the princess is waiting for you in your chambers"
"wonderful, do not let anyone disturb us, I wish to stay by her side until supper is served"
Cregan skipped the way into his chambers, he was too caught up in the rush of the hunt and the excitement of reconnecting with his lady wife to notice the nods and stiff giggles of the servants and guards.
He didn't bother to knock, even if he was indecent there was nothing he hadn't seen, secretly he hoped to see her swollen belly bare, as it grew bigger Cregan had adored to kiss on her belly and rub it as he felt the kicks and moves of their child, together they would make plans for the future, like making sure the babe receives an egg for their cradle or getting a wolf cub as a pet.
"my de-"
"shush, you'll wake her"
medusa had cast her spell over Cregan as his eyes focused on the most extraordinary sight, his lady wife holding their babe while she sat up in their bed. (y/n) had never looked more beautiful in his eyes, her hair falling past her shoulders as her arms wrapped around the child and her big eyes sparkling with joy.
The baby was wrapped in a white blanket and (y/n) slightly rocked it, it almost could fool someone that (y/n) had already given birth to numerous children by the graciousness in her moves, Cregan could pull a chair and watch this for the rest of his days, alas his curiosity and excitement rushed him to her side, sitting right next to his lady wife in awe.
"bless me, when did this happen?"
"last morrow, the labors started hours after you left"
"my strong dragon, you did this without me, I must admit I am slightly wounded"
"I did not want to send someone until I delivered her, make sure she is fine and all"
if it was humanly possible Cregan would swear he could hear her trembling heart, as her pleading eyes uncovered the insufferable pain she went through that held hands tightly with distress and a splash of grief.
(Y/n) ached for the babe she had lost, wondering if it had been a boy to a girl, if it would have their father's eyes, or if they would prefer music over hunting, Cregan felt helpless, watching his love suffer as he also grieved in silence, though now it did not matter, the gods took mercy on them.
At just the perfect queue, the small babe cooed pulling both of them out of their trance, simultaneously the pair looked down at the fruit of their ever-growing bond with humungous smiles and cloudy eyes.
"she is gorgeous, once you fully heal we will throw a feast, I'll send some of my best men for a hunt, you should write to your mother, and ask her if she can find Dornish wine-"
"my lord, let us enjoy her before we present her to the realm, she is barely a morrow old"
"she is a princess, our princess"
"Precisely, our princess, come lay with us"
as much as (y/n) comprehends the weight of duty and the strict order of customs that came with such wonderful news, she had grown up with a mother who had wrapped her and her siblings with a cloak to protect their childhood years, allowing them to be kids amid chaos and now it was her time to step up and build a fort that kept her happy and safe.
Cregan puffed out a breath of defeat before he complied and climbed as carefully as a man of his statue could
“Let me see, oh perfect”
“She will grow out of it”
“She better not, maybe the next one can have slit eyes as well”
“My love, I do not believe I can give birth to a full dragon”
“One can only hope”
Cregan jested as (y/n) laughed, the young babe had inherited her mother's ears, Cregan would often brush (y/n) 's hair away from her face to take a look at her ears, or brush his fingers over them as she laid her head on his chest at night, sometimes (y/n) would slap away his hand while he roared with laughter, others she would just bask in his admiration, thanking whoever took favor in her and gave her the man that loved her, pointy ears and all.
Requests are open!
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snowysosturn · 2 months ago
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Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Finale
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale
Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of memory loss, guilt, mentions of car accident, anxiety, angst, trauma, confusion, swearing
Matt's POV
I walked back the way we came, trying to spot Y/n. In the distance I notice a familiar car, one that I only recoginse from being parked outside Y/n’s apartment. It had to be her. Then, before I could stop myself, I found myself driving again. My hands on the wheel, heading toward the one place I knew she’d be. I let the group know they would have to Uber home, I wasn’t too sure how long this was going to take me.
When I stepped into the LA Kings Valley Ice Center, it was almost eerie how quiet it was. The place was practically empty, saved for one lone figure gliding across the ice.
I knew it was her before I even saw her face.
Y/n moved on the ice with such ease, such grace, she was born for it. Watching her skate was like watching poetry in motion. But seeing her there, knowing the way things were the last time we were here, made my chest tighten. I wanted to go to her, to explain everything, to tell her how much I had missed her, but I couldn’t move.
I stood there, frozen, until she attempted a jump, the triple Axel. But she fell. I could sense the disappointment in her, I knew she could do it, I’ve seen her do it. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, my voice breaking the silence. “You know you can do it, Y/n.”
She turned, her eyes wide with surprise as she spotted me standing by the edge of the rink. “What.. what are you doing here?” She asked, her voice shaky as she stood up, brushing the ice off her pants.
Shit. I didn’t know what to say. I was tired of the front I was putting up. I knew it was time to be vulnerable.
“I knew you’d be here..” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but my heart was pounding.
"Wait, how did you-"
"I know you better than anyone else, Y/n," I interrupted. It was the truth. Even if she couldn’t remember everything, I did. I remembered every detail about her, every little thing that made her who she was.
She shook her head, disbelief written across her face. “How could you say that when I don’t even know myself anymore?” Her voice cracked, and it broke something inside me to see her like this, so lost, so unsure.
Standing at the edge of the rink, I watched Y/n, my heart pounding in my chest. “Maybe not” I admitted, stepping forward slowly, careful not to push her away. “But I know the you standing right here, right now. The you who comes to this rink when the world gets too heavy. The you who still feels at home on the ice, even if everything else feels out of control.”
I could see the impact of my words on her face. They impacted her, revealing a truth she didn’t want to confront. As much as she might want to push me away and deny it, in that moment, I felt like I saw her more clearly than she saw herself. But as I spoke, I noticed the tension building in her, the way she held back emotions she had buried for too long. I could feel her vulnerability, and I knew she was struggling with everything inside her.
“I don’t even understand why you’re here, Matt.” she finally said, her voice cracking slightly. The words slipped out, raw and honest. She needed answers, and I had to give them to her.
For a moment, silence enveloped us, thick and heavy. I could see the confusion in her eyes, and I understood it all too well. “I’m here because I couldn’t stay away any longer. I need to tell you everything." I said, my voice was quiet but steady. I looked into her eyes, and I could feel the weight of what was about to unfold.
“I know you’re confused, Y/n, and I don’t blame you. I should’ve been more honest with you from the start, but everything got so messed up.” The regret poured out of me, and I hoped she could sense my sincerity.
Before I knew it I was telling her everything about us. Our whole story together. The double date. My house party. Coming back for her after dropping off Emily. Playing Mario Kart. Alex’s fight. Emily and Alex going to Europe. Trying to cut her off. Nicks friendship with her. Topgolf. Venice beach. All the times I wanted to kiss her. Our first kiss. Our first night spent together. And every little bit in between. The nostalgia washed over me, reminding me of the joy we had shared. “I cared about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn’t even do that right.”
The weight of what I had to share next felt heavy in the air. “The night before Alex and Emily came home from Europe, Nick and Chris went to our friend Tara’s party. It was just the two of us in my house, and you told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought that was it. Our way out. I was ready, Y/n. I was ready to walk away from Emily and start something real with you.”
I paused, reaching into my pocket to pull out the missing earring I had kept, The missing earring felt symbolic. As soon as she lost it, I lost her out of my life. “It must’ve fallen off in my bed when you passed out that night. You never knew this part.. but Emily found it before I could confront her. She blackmailed me. She told me that if I left her, she’d ruin your life. She’d tell Alex everything and twist it. I didn’t know what else to do. I was a coward. I should’ve fought for us, but I didn’t. She made me go to that party with her the night… I didn’t expect you to be there.”
The pain washed over me again. How clueless to everything Y/n was this whole time. "I saw the confusion on your face as you looked at me, and I felt torn between what I wanted to do and what I had to do. I wanted to pull you close, to tell you how much I cared, but instead, I had to watch you from the sidelines. I found you in the bathroom, and that was when everything spiraled. I told you that what we had was a mistake,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “That it was over.”
Even though she couldn’t fully recall it, I could see the emotional scar in her eyes. I knew I shattered her heart that night, and I’d never forgive myself for it.
“You were devastated, Y/n. I saw it in your eyes. And I’m not going to act like I wasn’t devastated too, even though I had to pretend then.” My voice broke, and I took a shaky breath, the weight of my confession choking me. “I shattered your heart in that bathroom. And then.. you ran. You ran into the street.”
The horror of that night flashed in my mind like a haunting reel. My hands trembled as I brought them to my face, trying to shield myself from the memory.
“I tried to stop you. I tried to yell at you from the balcony…” I whispered, my heart racing as I relived it. “The last thing I heard you say was that you loved me. I know you were about to say you thought I loved you too, but I cut you off. I told you to get off the road... and then-”
The words got stuck in my throat, the pain too much to bear. I pressed my palms against my face, wishing I could push the memories away, but they lingered, tormenting me.
“It’s my fault.” I murmured, my voice barely audible. “All of it. You were only on that road because I made you believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Y/n. It was the realest thing I’ve ever had. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And I’ve been grieving you ever since.”
My confession hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with the truth of it all. The anger, confusion, and longing I’d felt since waking up in the hospital crashed over me like a tsunami wave, each feeling more overwhelming than the last.
“And I’m so sorry I never fought for you. I know I should’ve, but then Alex appeared in the hospital. You couldn’t remember me. He was acting like you were still together. You had no memory of us, and I had caused you enough pain as it was. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be easier for you, that you could heal without me dragging you back into the chaos. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”
The silence between us grew thick, filled with all the unspoken words and feelings that had been buried beneath layers of hurt. I could see the regret etched across my own face, the guilt weighing heavily on my shoulders.
“I thought I could forget you, that maybe it would make everything simpler,” I admitted, my voice trembling as I fought back tears. “But you’re unforgettable.”
I stepped closer, desperation clawing at my heart. “Y/n, I’ve spent every day since that night wishing I could take it all back. Even how I acted so standoff-ish around you. It’s because I love you. I always have.”
“I want to show you that what we had was real. I want you to relive it all. I want to fight for you, if you’ll let me.”
Y/n stood there for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she stared at me. I could see the conflict in her expression, the pain that lingered from everything that had happened between us. My heart pounded in my chest, unsure of what would come next. I’d just laid it all out for her. Everything I’d held back, everything I wished I could’ve changed. Now it was up to her to decide.
Then, without warning, she moved.
Before I could even process it, she was in my arms, her body crashing against mine as her arms wrapped tightly around me. She held on like I was her lifeline, clinging to me for dear life, and all I could do was wrap my arms around her in return, holding her just as tightly.
I felt her shoulders shake, her breath hitching against my chest as the tears she’d been holding back finally fell. The sound of her quiet sobs broke something deep inside of me, and I buried my face in her hair, trying to ground myself in the moment. She was here, in my arms, and she hadn’t pushed me away.
“I’m so sorry” I whispered into her hair, my voice cracking. “I’m so, so sorry for everything, Y/n.”
She didn’t say anything, just held on tighter, as if letting go would cause everything to shatter again. I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt, and it took everything in me not to break down right there with her. I didn’t deserve it, I didn’t deserve her forgiveness, her touch. But I couldn’t bring myself to let go.
We stood like that for what felt like forever, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking. Just the sound of her quiet cries and the soft hum of the ice rink around us. I felt her heartbeat against mine, her body trembling slightly as she let out everything she had been holding inside.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I’ll earn it back” I promised, my voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”
She stared at me for a long moment, her bottom lip trembling, before resting her forehead against my chest, letting out a shaky breath. Her arms loosened around me, but she didn’t pull away completely.
Y/n’s POV
I was astonished by everything I’d just heard but yet, I still felt that familiar pull to Matt again, the same one that had confused me for so long. It was almost like a battle between my head and my heart. One telling me to run, the other urging me to stay. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as the weight of everything hit me. All I wanted in that moment was his touch, some kind of reassurance that everything wasn’t broken beyond repair. Before I could even process what I was doing, my arms were wrapped around him, holding on tight, because I couldn’t wrap my head around anything else.
Tears streamed down my face as I buried myself into his chest, my sobs muffled against his shirt. It felt like everything had been building to this moment, all the pain, the confusion, the heartbreak. It all came pouring out.
“I don’t know if I can trust you yet.” I whispered, my voice fragile, like it might shatter under the weight of those words.
“I’ll earn it back.” Matt promised, his voice thick with emotion, like he was holding on just as tightly to this moment as I was. “I swear to you, Y/n, I’ll earn it back.”
I pulled back just enough to look at him, my eyes still blurry with tears. His face was full of guilt, regret, and something else. A kind of desperation, maybe, like he was afraid this would be the last time he’d have me in his arms. My bottom lip trembled, and I placed my head against his chest again. I wasn’t sure If I was ready to fully let him back in, but I wasn’t ready to let him go either.
Everything felt so overwhelming, but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to feel this crushing weight, at least not right now.
“Can we just skate for a bit?” I asked softly, my voice barely audible.
Matt nodded, his hand brushing gently against my back. “Yeah, of course.”
I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes as we made our way to the ice. The rink was still completely empty, the perfect setting for this strange, emotional reunion. I stepped onto the ice first, the cool air hitting my face as I glided forward, stinging it in the process.
Matt followed, his steps surprisingly graceful. I turned back, watching as he moved along without falling.
“Wait, did you play hockey?” I asked, curious and a little impressed by how well he was keeping up.
He looked at me, shocked. “You remember that?” His voice was filled with hope, like this small memory coming back meant more than I realized.
I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Yeah, it just came to me.”
The tension between us seemed to ease a little as we skated, the ice beneath us smoothing out some of the jagged edges of our past. It wasn’t perfect, and I still wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but for now, this was enough. Just us, on the ice, trying to figure out if there’s a way back to something real.
We skated in silence for a few minutes until Matt broke it. “You should try the triple Axel.”
I turned to him, caught off guard. “What? No, I fucked it up completely there. I can barely keep my balance, and”
“I’ve seen you do it before, Y/n,” Matt said, cutting me off, his voice firm but encouraging. “You’ve nailed it before, and I know you can do it again. Don’t overthink it.”
I shook my head, nervousness creeping in. “I don’t know if I-”
“You’ve got this.” he insisted, skating in front of me, blocking my path. “Just trust yourself. Don’t think. Just do.”
I could see the belief in his eyes, and it made me pause. Matt wasn’t letting me give in to this fear. His faith in me was stronger than the doubt clawed at my thoughts.
I took a deep breath and skated to the other end of the rink, giving myself enough space to build momentum. My heart raced as I picked up speed, every nerve in my body tingling. Matt skated to the edge, watching, his eyes never leaving me.
“Don’t overthink it!” he called out again, his voice echoing in the empty rink.
I closed my eyes for a second, trying to push out all the noise in my head. Then I opened them, focused on the ice in front of me, and went for it. I launched myself into the air, spinning once, twice, three times. My body moved on instinct, and before I knew it, I was back on the ice, landing perfectly.
I did it.
Shock and excitement rushed through me as I stopped, barely believing what had just happened. “I.. I did it!” I shouted, my voice full of disbelief.
Matt’s grin stretched wide across his face. In an instant, he was skating toward me, sweeping me off my feet and spinning me around in the air. I laughed, the sound light and free, as Matt twirled me with pure joy.
“You did it!” he exclaimed, his voice full of pride as he set me down gently but kept his arms around me. “I told you, Y/n, I knew you could do it.”
I was still buzzing from the adrenaline, from the excitement of actually nailing it after all this time. I looked up at him, my breath a little shaky, my heart pounding. “I can’t believe it.”
He smiled, brushing a stray hair from my face. “Believe it. You’re incredible.”
Everything felt simple again, just me, the ice, and Matt. Nothing else mattered. Not the past, not the mistakes, just this moment of pure triumph.
“Wait, wait,” Matt said, a mischievous grin forming on his face. “You remember that time you taught me how to spin? Let me show you again.”
I laughed, stepping back to give him room as he attempted a clumsy spin. He twirled once, his arms outstretched, and I couldn’t help but laugh harder when he wobbled, barely keeping his balance. The look on his face was priceless. Full of pride, like he’d just nailed a perfect routine.
He straightened up, beaming. “See? I’ve still got it.”
Watching him, I felt a warmth spread through me, a joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This is fun. I enjoy this. I enjoy his company. I enjoy him. Maybe I need to trust him. Maybe it’s time to let go of the past. Maybe this was the safest way to go. Maybe this is the way it was always meant to go.
I skated closer to him, my heart racing but not with fear this time. It was something else. Something that felt right. I stopped on the ice, meeting his gaze, and in that moment, it felt like everything clicked into place.
“I want this.” I said, my voice steady but soft, surprising even myself as the words came out.
Matt’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of hope and disbelief crossing his face. “You do?”
“Yes.” I said, the certainty in my voice growing. “I want this. I want us.”
Before I could say anything more, Matt closed the distance between us, his hands gently cradling my face as he leaned in. Our lips met, the kiss soft at first, but filled with all the emotions that had been building between us for so long.
It felt like everything I’d been holding in, every doubt, every fear, melted away in that kiss. All that was left was him. Us. And for the first time in a long time, my memory felt clear.
In the following weeks, Matt and I decided to relive everything but in a new way. It felt like starting over, but with all the memories, feelings, and experiences guiding us. Our first group outing after reconnecting was to Golf’N’Stuff. Mini-golfing, of course, since Matt had made it very clear that I was absolutely terrible at hitting a golf ball any other way. He never let me live down the disaster that was Topgolf, but this time, it was going to be different.
We arrived at the course, our usual group with us, Chris, Nick, Nate, and Madi. Funny enough, Madi turned out to be the girl who was with them at the beach that night, and now I felt so ridiculous for letting myself feel jealous. It was nice to rekindle my friendship with her too and I couldn’t believe I’d ever thought otherwise.
As we made our way around the course, everyone’s competitive sides came out, especially Chris and Nate, who turned it into some sort of showdown between the two of them. Madi and Nick were more laidback, laughing at the chaos and whispering to each other as they played. But Matt? He was glued to my side, teasing me every time I lined up a shot.
“Come on, Y/n” Matt smirked, watching me carefully aim. “Don’t mess this one up. The hole’s right there.”
I shot him a playful glare. “Watch and learn.”
To my own surprise, and everyone else's, I managed to get a hole in one. I threw my hands up in victory, letting out a cheer as Matt’s jaw dropped.
“Are you kidding me?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re hustling us.”
“Oh, please” I grinned, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m just that good at mini golf.”
As the game went on, I kept surprising myself. Shot after shot, I was actually doing well. By the time we reached the last hole, it was obvious. I was going to win.
Matt leaned over, giving me a mocking look. “Alright, Y/n, if you win this.. I might have to accept defeat. But just know, you’ll never beat me at Topgolf.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Challenge accepted. Do you see these swings now? It’s called growth.”
I lined up my final shot, feeling a little pressure from everyone watching. But I took a deep breath, focused, and hit the ball just right. It rolled smoothly across the green and dropped into the hole.
“I win!” I cheered, jumping up and down with excitement. The group groaned playfully, but everyone was smiling.
Matt wrapped his arms around me, lifting me slightly off the ground. “Alright, you win this round, mini golf champion.”
The victory felt good, but what felt even better was how natural everything had become again. The laughter, the teasing, the warmth of being with the people I cared about. I wasn’t just rebuilding my relationship with Matt. I was reconnecting with all of them, creating new memories to replace the ones that were lost.
Our first solo date was to Santa Monica Pier, Pacific Park, to be exact. It felt close enough to Venice, where so much had happened between us, but it was still new territory. A fresh start. The moment we stepped onto the boardwalk, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. It wasn’t just about spending the evening together. It was about creating something new, something just for us.
The sun was setting, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as we made our way toward the rides. Matt had that familiar, easy grin on his face, and it was contagious. We grabbed some candy floss as we walked, his arm casually draped over my shoulder as he teased me about the way I was already eyeing the Ferris wheel.
"First ride?" he asked, pointing toward the towering wheel spinning in slow circles.
"Obviously, I have to ease you in first" I laughed, taking a bite of the cotton candy. "But after that, you’re going on the roller coaster with me."
Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you think I’m scared of the roller coaster?"
"I know you are" I teased. "But we’ll see if you can handle it."
We got in line for the Ferris wheel, and as soon as we were in the little gondola, the world seemed to slow down. The view of the ocean stretched endlessly in front of us, and for a few moments, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. The sunset began casting orange and pink hues across the sky, and the calm of the water below was the perfect setting.
“This is nice” I said softly, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“It’s perfect” he replied, his arm tightening around me. “No distractions. Just us.”
When the ride ended, we headed straight for the next ride. Pacific Plunge, the sign read. Matt tried to act cool, but I could see the slight hesitation in his eyes. Still, he followed me into the line, determined not to back down.
As we sat in the car, I couldn’t help but grin. "Ready?"
"Always" he replied, though I could hear a hint of nerves in his voice.
The ride took off, and the thrill of the drops of the tower made me laugh uncontrollably. I glanced at Matt during the ride, and his expression was priceless. He was holding on for dear life, but there was a smile on his face too.
When we got off, he shook his head, laughing. “Alright, fine. You win this one.”
“Told you” I teased, bumping into him lightly. “But you handled it well.”
The rest of the evening was filled with more rides - the bumper cars, where Matt definitely gave me a run for my money, and the spinning swings, where we both got dizzy but couldn’t stop laughing. We played some carnival games, too, and Matt even won me a stuffed animal from the ring toss game, though I suspected the worker might’ve rigged it in his favor.
By the time we decided to leave, the lights of Pacific Park were twinkling against the night sky, and the pier was still bustling with energy. We walked along the boardwalk, hand in hand, the sounds of laughter and the distant hum of the carousel filling the air.
“This was a good day,” I said, smiling up at him.
“The best.” he replied, squeezing my hand gently. “We needed this.”
And he was right. It was exactly what we needed. A new experience, something just for us, without the weight of everything that had happened before. Just us, having fun, and building something real again.
And that brings us to the present day. Six months later and a five-and-a-half-hour flight to Boston. The city skyline faded behind us as we pulled up to Matt's family home, and his excitement was contagious.
“I can’t wait to introduce my mom and dad to my girlfriend.” Matt grinned, glancing over at me with that same boyish smile that never failed to make my heart flutter.
My mind jumped back to the memory of him asking me a few months ago. How I woke up one morning, to blueberry pancakes, cut up in to letters reading “Will U B my GF”. It was things like that that made me love Matt. The little things. He just got me.
As we stepped out of the car, I felt a mix of nerves and excitement. Meeting his family was a big step, but the way he held my hand tightly in his reassured me. We walked up the pathway, and before we even reached the door, it swung open to reveal his parents, Mary-Lou and Jimmy, both smiling warmly, arms outstretched to welcome us.
“You must be Y/n!” Mary-Lou said as she embraced me, her warmth immediately putting me at ease. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
"It’s so nice to meet you too!" I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders ease. Jimmy gave me a friendly handshake, then pulled me into a hug.
Over the course of the afternoon, we had endless conversations, swapping stories and laughs. It felt natural, like I’d known them for years. At some point, Mary-Lou turned to me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.
“I heard you’ve qualified for the Olympics?” she asked with a proud smile.
“Yeah I can’t believe it!” I replied, glancing over at Matt with a smile. “I have Matt to thank for pushing me to get back into it.”
“That’s amazing! Getting to be a part of the Olympics in your hometown!” Mary-Lou beamed, and Jimmy nodded in approval.
The moment felt surreal. A far cry from where I was just a few months ago, lost and unsure. But here I was, not only finding my way back to skating but also standing beside someone who believed in me, maybe even more than I believed in myself.
Later that evening, after dinner and more stories shared around the table, Matt and I stepped outside onto the porch, the cool Boston air wrapping around us. The stars were out, scattered across the night sky, and everything felt peaceful. He stood next to me, his arm slipping around my waist as we looked out at the view.
“You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.” Matt said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity. “I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. To be here with you now.”
I looked up at him, my heart swelling. "I think I'm the lucky one" I whispered. “You gave me a reason to believe in myself again.”
He turned to face me fully, his eyes locking onto mine with that familiar intensity. “We did this together.” he said softly. “I’m just so glad I get to share all of it with you.”
And then, under the stars and in the quiet of the night, he kissed me slowly, tenderly, like we had all the time in the world. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. A promise of everything we had built, everything we were, and everything that was still to come.
“I love you” I whispered, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze.
“I love you too” he replied, his eyes shining with so much emotion it nearly took my breath away.
And in that moment, I knew - this was exactly how things were meant to be.
NEW CHRIS SERIES HERE
a/n : and just like that, we're finished :( my first ever fic. thank you so so so sooooo much to every single person that has supported this and given it so much love over the last 2 months. this fic and everyone reading it helped me through a breakup of a 10 year relationship and i’ll always be grateful. it was so fun to write and im so sad its an end of an era. I now have a general taglist here if anyone would like to be on it just interact with the post. thank you so much again for everything <3 a new chris series is coming soon!
Snowy <3
taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @lvrsturniolo @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit @pvssychicken @starkeyszn @matts-girlfriend
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sungbeam · 9 months ago
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nonidol!jeong yunho x f!reader
yunho might have been the superstar out of the two of you, but you have always been the center of his universe. (you — it's always been you.)
▷ genre, warnings. bffs2l, childhood friends 2 lovers, pining, popstar/singer au, swearing, fluff, humor, angst, hurt/comfort, kissing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety/nervousness, they physically cannot be apart for too long sorry they've got Attachment Issues low-key..., one kiss (is all it takes—)
▷ word count. 16.3k (guys,, this was supposed to be only like 6-8k i swear 😭)
▷ associated tunes. keep smiling (demxntia), gone too long (lullaboy), tear in my heart (twenty-one pilots)
a/n: hope u guys like this :'))) i had one of the scenes from here stuck in my brain for awhile and so i had to build the rest of the fic around it, and it turned into this monster, so uhm yes... also much love to @jaehunnyy tysm for reading thru it for me 💖
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THE DAY YUNHO'S ALBUM hit the Billboard Hot 100, you knew that you were going to need a lot more hands on deck than just you, your roommate, and Jeong Yunho himself.
“There's not enough albums, not enough time in the day, not enough of you!” You exclaimed with your fingers shoved into your hair as you took in the landscape of chaos before you on your living room floor. “Yunho, why couldn't you be ambidextrous?”
His eyes widened, body frozen where he was shoving a slice of beef jerky into his mouth. “Mwe? Pwhy are pyu yellinh ap mwe por?”
“I'm not yelling at you; I'm just wondering why you weren't born with eight arms instead of just two.” There were simply too many albums for him to sign before his agent came to pick them up in two hours, and there were also too few albums for the amount of demand. You always knew your best friend would make it big one day, but you also thought he would have had a whole team by that time.
Technically, you were his team—you, your roommate Trinity, and Mingi who was at his grandmother's for the long weekend. Mingi was five texts away from driving back down to help you guys four hours ago though. But his family needed him right now, and Yunho was firm in ensuring Mingi didn't have to come down and help. We got this, he'd said. It'll be easy, he also said.
Sure. Easy.
“We can't just forge his signature?” Trinity joked in a sleep-deprived daze as she leaned back against the couch cushions. Her mouth opened wide in a yawn. “I'm kidding. Let's not ruin his career.”
Yunho swallowed his bite. “That would be nice.” He cleaned his fingers on the Wet Wipe he had handy by his thigh, then picked up his black Sharpie, spinning the writing utensil between his fingers. “Now where were we? Album number fifty-six—?”
This had taken place just four months after Yunho released his second album, Aurora. It had been nearly a year and a half since Yunho debuted himself onto the music scene, and it was about time people finally began to recognize your best friend for all that he was—multi-talented, charismatic, handsome (on some occasions; you wouldn’t let him catch you slipping up there, though).
Within the next year and a half, Yunho skyrocketed into further altitudes of fame.
There were plenty of changes that occurred, many evolutions to Yunho's team and additions to his discography, but you were always a part of it. Even with your own career dealings, you would drop anything to be there for him, and him for you. Between the morning show interviews and late night recording sessions, there were also the research presentations and study session pick-me-ups.
“Are you sure you don't wanna come with?” You asked from where you were stationed in front of the bathroom mirror, putting on the final touches for your look this evening.
You could hear Trinity's fingers clacking away at her keyboard at the speed of light through her open bedroom door. “I'd love to, but I unfortunately did screw myself over by procrastinating on this paper. Have fun though, and tell Yunho congrats for me.”
Tonight was the album release party for Yunho's third full studio album entitled Youth. It was something he had been working on for years now, only recently having become satisfied with the tracks he chose and produced for it. Due to his sudden rise in fame, the release party was said to be hosting a myriad of big name celebrities and figures in the music industry. And of course, you. You were no one special, in hindsight, but Yunho couldn't begin to imagine celebrating a milestone without you by his side.
By eight o'clock, you were ready to head out.
You bid Trinity goodbye as you hustled out the front door of your apartment and down to the street below. Yunho and Mingi and everyone else would already be at the party; you would arrive on your own via Uber. You wished you could've been with him to get ready like all the other times, but your schedule had been unfortunate as of late. You were lucky enough to have gotten off of work this early.
As you sat in the backseat of your ride, you anxiously fidgeted with your phone in your lap.
(You were, without a doubt, excited to arrive at the party. Due to yours and Yunho's ever-busy and ever-conflicting schedules nowadays—yours because of work and PhD candidacy stuff, Yunho's because of rehearsals for his upcoming world tour—it had been awhile since you were able to hang out in person. You missed your gentle giant of a best friend.)
A loud vibration from it made your heart leap into your throat, and your face lit up in the dark with the incoming notification.
rockstar 🤟: pls tell me you've left the house
You snorted and typed out a swift reply. If I told you I was still in my pajamas…
rockstar 🤟: then i would call u a liar cuz u don't go to work in pjs, weirdo rockstar 🤟: just getting antsy tbh rockstar 🤟: need my star here w me :’)))
You couldn't help the touched pout that came to your face. I'm almost there, don't worry. And who are you calling a star when that's you? He always got a little sappy when he was nervous.
rockstar 🤟: im literally not having fun here without u hurry up :// your phone: isn't this UR album release party 😭 yun, why aren't u having fun? rockstar 🤟: just hurry up your phone: aish okok 🤧 eta 8min mr. impatient
You knew it was the jitters making him say things like that. Once you got there, you hoped you could help reassure him that he could stop worrying for just a second to enjoy himself. Even if Yunho worried about the album and what people thought, you were just as nervous. You hadn't even heard the entire thing—he’d been cheeky and didn't tell you he added a song to it last minute, but you'd listened to everything else.
You just hoped that people would continue to celebrate him and give him the love he deserved.
When your Uber driver pulled into the drop off loop at the front of the venue, you thanked him on your way out and threw the strap of your small purse over your shoulder. Already, however, as you were met with the residuals of flashing camera lenses and frantic paparazzi calls just a little ways down the driveway, the anxiety slowly began to settle in the pit of your stomach.
You could see the celebrities going up the entrance with people asking them to pose for their cameras, to say a word into their recorders.
Immediately, you turned on your heel and began slipping your way to a side entrance. The last thing you wanted was for dozens upon dozens of people to be staring at you, wondering who you were and why you were important. There were definitely people who knew you—you were plastered all over Yunho's social media because that was just what best friends did. But compared to everyone else walking up that driveway? Not a chance. You were nobody, and that was ay-okay to you.
Just as you thanked one of the employees coming out the side door for letting you in, you felt your phone buzz in your hand again, this time with an incoming call.
You picked it up and squeezed it between your ear and shoulder. “You're gonna need to speak up—the kitchen is super loud.”
“You're here finally!” Yunho said to you through the phone. “I was starting to get worried.”
You chuckled as you ducked out of the kitchen and into the main lobby to get to the elevators. The party was taking place somewhere on the seventh floor… if you could get there without getting lost. “Hey Yun, do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Calm down, man.”
The elevator sang its arrival and you stepped inside to the sound of Yunho sucking in a deep breath, then exhaling slowly. “I am calm… wait, are you in the lobby? Let me come down and get y—”
“I just got in the elevator, so don't worry—and I really don't think you should be leaving your own party, rockstar,” you teased. “Man, Mingi and Hwa really pulled out all the stops for this place,” you marveled quietly as you gave the elevator carriage a thorough look. It was made of marble and mirrors, every surface polished and crisp, like that of a tailored suit if tailored suits were made of crystals.
“Yeah, it's really great,” he agreed. “Remember the release party we threw for Crescent?”
A fond laugh tumbled out of your lips as you stepped out of the elevator and onto the seventh floor. Your mind filled with memories of his debut album's release party hosted in yours and Trinity's living room with three extra large Domino's pizzas, root beer floats, and a cheap disco ball. It had been a party for four that night—you, Yunho, Mingi, and Trinity—but your friends didn't need the fancy shit to have fun. “Definitely leagues away from this.”
There was a bouncer at the far end of the hallway, and you were certain now that you were in the right place.
“I kind of miss it,” Yunho murmured. You heard the sound on his end shift, simultaneous to watching the doors in front of you crack open and see Yunho's head pop out into the empty hallway.
“I kind of miss it, too,” you said into the phone, your eyes locked on his and a smile blooming over your features at the sight of your best friend, in the flesh.
There was a tender gleam in his eyes as he took you in and said something in a low tone to the bouncer. He stepped out into the hallway, letting the doors behind him shut fully.
“Slowpoke,” was his greeting to you as he scooped you into his embrace. The smell of his cologne was something familiar and delicious, and permeated your senses.
“Worrywart,” you quipped back, wrapping your arms around him to reciprocate.
When you both pulled back, he kept you at arm's length so he could take a better look at you. “I can't believe you're calling me the worrywart! I do recall that one night when Aurora hit the Top 100—”
You silenced him with a look and a playful punch to his shoulder. You pressed your lips together to suppress a smile as he tilted his head back in a jovial laugh. “Quiet, you. For once, I can't believe you're more nervous than I am.”
He gave a sheepish grin, fussing with the unbuttoned collar of his dress shirt, adjusting the chain he wore on his collarbones so the clasp sat right at the hollow of his throat.
You softened. Oh, he was really nervous.
“This album's just big for me; you know that,” he said, almost like he was trying to brush it off.
“I do.” The two of you began slowly making your way back towards the party doors. “Though, I'm excited to hear this mystery song that you snuck on there. I'm sure everyone will fall in love with the album, just like I did.”
He peered over at you then, and you couldn't understand why you were unable to read his expression then. It was… different. “Really?”
You blinked. “Of course,” you replied automatically. “I mean,” you added, “it's you, Yun. What's not to love?”
Yunho seemed speechless for a second, but moments later, he was breaking into a soft-cornered smile. “You always know what to say, Yn. Come on, there are some people who are dying to meet you.”
“Dying to meet me?” You laughed as the bouncer let the two of you into the party.
The party room was a rented out lounge space with wraparound windows that looked out at the skyline in the valley below. The main lights were kept low and warm, illuminating strategic places throughout the space to highlight the prohibition-like interior design. It was something out of a 1920s speakeasy with its velvet couches and dark mahogany wood finishes.
Yunho took you over toward the side of the room to get food first. There was a variety of snacks and small bites on the buffet table, and there was a bar counter shoved into the far corner where a bartender served drinks.
“I've pretty much socialized with everyone in this room already,” Yunho murmured to you as he shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned. “Meaning I can bug you for the rest of the night.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “There has to be, like, fifty people here. We still have the whole party left.”
“Yeah, but I have more fun with you anyway,” he said with a shrug. He reached for one of the little serving cups that held a little roll of rice armed with a slice of wagyu beef on top, all wrapped together with a strip of nori. “Now these—these are fucking amazing, dude. You have to try one.”
You snorted, but grabbed one of the little cups. “How many of these have you eaten already, Yun?”
He tapped his cup against yours like he was clinking glasses together. He chuckled, averting his gaze. “We don't have to talk about that…” His eyes caught onto someone nearby, and he perked up, shoving the entire bite into his mouth so he had a free hand to flag down whoever it was. “Mmh!”
You nearly choked on your own bite as you watched your best friend, who's cheeks were stuffed like a chipmunk's, flap his arm around in the air to get this person's attention because his mouth was currently occupied.
You turned your head to see who he was waving over, and nearly choked again, having to cup your hand over your mouth to prevent rice from falling out. Your eyes widened an alarming amount. “Mmno—!” You mumbled through your bite.
“What? I can't hear you,” he snickered. “Hongjoong hyung! There's someone I want you to meet.”
You made a crazed gesture—no, no, I'm not ready! How dare you ambush me with social interac—you swallowed the food in your mouth as Hongjoong made his way over. You had never met the famed Kim Hongjoong—legendary producer, prodigy musician, favorite model to ever strut down the Paris Fashion Week Runway. He dropped off the grid for a brief three-month hiatus until he suddenly reappeared, but in your best friend's Instagram story. At some point, Yunho had met Hongjoong and won his favor. Then again, it was easy for Yunho to win over anyone's favor.
No one really knew why Hongjoong disappeared like he had, but some speculate it had something to do with his new relationship status: single.
You were always starstruck seeing Hongjoong on Yunho and Mingi's social media, as well as Hongjoong's own platforms. Tonight was no exception.
Hongjoong's hair of the season was a simple light brown that complimented his skin tone and the warmth in his smile. You were used to seeing him in more extravagant garb, but tonight, he chose something very simple, but chic like Yunho.
Yunho and Hongjoong clasped hands in greeting. “What's up, man?” The latter chirped, eyes flickering over to you as you attempted to behave normally.
Yunho gestured toward you, his eyes twinkling as he swept his arm around your shoulders to bring you forward. “This is Yn. Yn, this is Hongjoong. He's the one who produced the album—”
“Now, don't downplay your own efforts, Yunho,” Hongjoong cut in with a knowing look. “You produced so much of it on your own; I fine-tuned and made a couple tracks, but the rest was all you, man.”
“I always tell him he's far too humble,” you agreed.
Hongjoong sent you a smile, extending his hand out. “Great minds think alike, Yn. It's very nice to meet the person this guy doesn't ever stop talking about.”
You laughed good-naturedly and saw Yunho's flushed sheepishness out of the corner of your eye. You shook Hongjoong's hand with a firm, confident grip. “Nice to meet you, too. You're—you’re incredible, by the way. I remember when Yunho posted a photo with you, and I literally screamed his ear off over the phone.”
Yunho winced and held a hand up to his ear, as if remembering the physical sensation of that phone call. “Yup, definitely damaged my eardrum that day.”
“Well, thank you; I'm flattered,” Hongjoong replied pleasantly. “So I'm assuming you've probably heard as much of the album as I have then?”
“I'm sure you've heard the whole thing,” you said. “Yunho has withheld one of the tracks from me, but I've listened to all the rest.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Oh? Which track did—oh.” As he and Yunho made eye contact, you watched as a silent understanding passed between them, and Hongjoong's mouth tugged upward in a teasing smile. “That song.”
You blinked. “What does that mean?”
Hongjoong flourished his hand as if to wave away the thought. “He just wanted it to be perfect, so we were working on it up to the last second. Nothing terribly concerning.”
Ah. You relaxed, but the curiosity still lingered in your mind's eye. “I'm sure it's great, nonetheless.”
“Oh yeah, you're gonna love—”
“Oh-kay! That's enough about the song,” Yunho chuckled nervously as he grabbed your shoulders and began steering you away from a clearly amused Hongjoong. “Let's go say hi to Mingi, hm?”
You threw him a look from over your shoulder, but went along with him toward wherever he'd seen Mingi wandering around. “What has gotten into you tonight?” You teased, though, you also hoped to know why he was so jittery. He wasn't even this nervous about dropping his debut album.
Yunho showed you a bright smile, the same kind of golden-retriever expression that the media knew him well for. It would have been enough if you didn't know him. “Again, it's an important album to me. And the song I added last minute is on the deluxe version, so I wasn't really confident in putting it on the original release.”
“Ah,” you murmured. You reached up to pat the hand that rested on your left shoulder reassuringly. “I'm sure it really is a great song, Yun, and I'm not just saying that. You can make an awful omelet, but you can't make an awful song.”
Your best friend bursted into laughter at the latter comment, and your heart soared to see the genuine smile on his face now. That was your Yunho shining through. “You're right—if I can't scramble eggs, at least I can write a song.”
Over the next hour and a half, Yunho took you on a tour around the room, jumping from friend to friend to introduce you to more of his world. For the most part, however, it felt like an excuse for you to bond with all his friends in teasing him about something or other. But he seemed content enough to see you getting along well with the other people close to him.
He had met plenty of your friends at your work, so it was only fair that you got the same opportunity.
At some point while you were with Wooyoung and San discussing all of the rehearsals for Yunho's upcoming world tour, Hongjoong summoned everyone's attention to announce that it was time to listen to the album. It would be a rather casual affair with the Youth album playing in the background of the party, but you were certain people would minimize their conversations to listen in.
You craned your neck to peer around the crowd to see where Yunho had gone off to. “Wait, guys, did you see where Yunho went?”
Wooyoung and San joined your search, but quickly hustled you into a nearby booth to sit and enjoy the album with your drinks. “He'll find us,” Wooyoung assured you as the three of you slipped into the leather seats. “He wouldn't miss this.”
“He'll at least be here by the last song,” San said offhandedly, his eyebrows wagging up and down.
Your lips parted, your face morphing into feigned offense. “Wait. Did he let you guys listen to the deluxe edition song, too?”
“Maybe,” Wooyoung giggled.
San cooed at your pout. “Awwh, don't take it to heart, Yn-ie. It was supposed to be a surprise for you.”
You raised your drink to your lips, sighing before taking a sip. “Everybody talks about this damn song as if he wrote it for me.”
Unbeknownst to you, the two others at the table exchanged pointed looks between one another when you were looking away. It was a wonder how Yunho was able to keep this all a secret from you. Though, even San and Wooyoung knew how busy you could get nowadays, so perhaps it really was just that easy. Plus, they had all at one point or another been privy to Yunho’s feelings—
“Speak of the Devil,” you perked up at the sight of your best friend emerging from the crowd with the others—Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Mingi, Jongho (vocal coach and album feature), and Yeosang (PR management)—in tow behind him. “We were wondering where you had gone off to.”
Yunho grinned as the lot of them squished into the circular seating arrangement with you, San, and Wooyoung. “Sorry, had to go round everyone up. The album should be queued up and ready to go.” He chose to sit on the end of the booth to your right while everyone else filled it up from the other side.
You offered him a sip of your drink, and he gladly took the glass from you. “So San and Woo were just telling me about how their tour prep is coming. You guys are leaving—what was it—two weeks from now?”
He hummed, smacking his lips as he set the glass back down on the table. “Yeah, it should be just about two weeks,” he said. His arm came up to rest against the back of the booth seat behind you. “You know, you can still come to the first stop with us…” This was said with a very pointed look at you from Yunho, followed by similar expressions from everyone else around the table.
“And you know that day’s when my supervisor holds quarterly meetings that are mandatory,” you shot back. As much as you hated the timing, the day that Yunho and the team planned to fly to their first stop on his world tour, you were required to be present for a very important meeting at work.
The Youth World Tour was something Yunho had been looking forward to and preparing for a long time. Besides working on the Youth album itself, his working hours extended over the past year or so to get ready for this major milestone. You would definitely be able to meet up with them at one of the tour stops, you just weren’t sure which one yet.
Things at your workplace were a little rocky as of late due to shifting management, but you would play it by ear. For your best friend, of course you would make it work somehow.
Your ears pricked up at the sound of strings strumming overhead and your heart leapt out of your ribcage for a moment. “Oh my god, I love this song.”
“You and me both, Yn,” Hongjoong chuckled across the table from you, reaching over so you could bump fists with him, “you’ve got good taste.”
“You’re only saying that because you wrote this one specifically,” Yunho sputtered out a laugh while rolling his eyes.
“It’s a good message,” you said, picking up your drink to take a generous gulp of it. There was a little left at the bottom of the martini glass and you swirled the liquid around before handing it over to Yunho to finish. “I think this one will definitely make it onto my work playlist.”
Yunho draped the back of his hand over his forehead, setting the now empty glass on the table. “Wow, relegated to the work playlist. Is that all I am to you?”
“You are a mood maker,” you pointed out with a teasing smile.
“Bro, you're complaining as if Yn doesn't put her work playlist on for everything she does.” Mingi arched his brows over the rims of his sunglasses. (Why was he wearing sunglasses indoors and at night? You didn't know; he said something about looking cool.)
Wooyoung chuckled. “What? So let's say you're trying to sleep—”
“Yah, I have a different playlist for that! I'm not completely unreasonable.”
“Completely,” Yunho and Mingi said at the same time, then looked at each other with wide, excited eyes. They bursted out laughing at once, too, leaving you to deadpan at the two clowns to your eleven o'clock and three o'clock.
You sighed. “I hate you guys.”
That only made them laugh louder, spurring on the others to crack smiles and for you to do the same.
Yunho calmed slightly, his cheeks hurting from smiling. “Aw, you walked right into that one, Yn.”
“So you're saying you are, in some capacity, unreasonable—oh my god, don't hurt me!” Mingi shrieked as he shoved Yeosang's body in front of him like a human shield as you lurched forward and threatened to grab him.
Yeosang sent Mingi a dirty look as he wrestled out of his neighbor's hold. “Dude.”
“Jongho, protect me.”
The vocal coach popped the olive from his martini into his mouth. “If you can't handle the heat, hyung, stay out of the kitchen.”
You nodded, raising your pointer finger up. “Exactly.”
For the next hour, you and your friends shared good company and conversation, while also commenting on, praising, and enjoying the tunes from Yunho's Youth album. There were a good thirteen songs featured on the album, and while most of them were inspired by real life, you remembered the days and nights when Yunho would break out the white board under his bed to draw out a concept map of the storyline he'd created in his head for some songs. It was like a miniature Easter egg hunt for fans to piece together from album to album.
When the clock hit nearly midnight, you recognized the song that marked the end of the conventional album—track number thirteen, 22. It was a song that reflected and lamented on his early stages of adulthood, all the goods and bads, all the hopes and dreams he had left. It was something that tied the regular album with a satisfying bow, but you were also giddy to hear the secret fourteenth deluxe track.
But as his ethereal voice from 22 faded out, the same guitar chords from the first song of the album began to play.
Everyone at the table paused in confusion.
“Uhh, I thought you were revealing the hidden track tonight, Yunho?” Seonghwa asked from across the table.
Yunho tilted his body out of the booth to peer into the sound booth at the very back of the lounge, a furrow in his brow. “I thought I was, too,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll be back in a sec.”
Before anyone else could say anything, Yunho disappeared past the door to the sound booth. You frowned as Hongjoong excused himself to catch up with him, mumbling something about helping with any technical difficulties.
In retrospect, it wouldn't be the biggest deal if you didn't get to hear the song tonight. You would simply listen to it when the deluxe album dropped in about a week, but you wouldn't deny that you were a little disappointed. Everyone else at this table had already listened to it—why had Yunho not shared it with you yet? Did he think you would judge him or not like it? You didn't think you were ever so harsh a critic, but that would explain why he was so nervous all night.
Regardless, you remained positive.
When Yunho and Hongjoong returned to the table, the rest of you all looked on to them expectantly.
“Something wacky is going on with the system right now and won't play the file for the hidden track,” Hongjoong huffed. He passed Yunho a sidelong glance, and you saw how Yunho avoided his friend's eyes like the plague. “Sorry to disappoint, Yn.”
Everyone's attention whipped toward you, and you straightened like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh, uhm, it's no biggie,” you said. You glanced over at Yunho who, if anything, seemed guilty. Or maybe it was just something apologetic. “Really—I can wait for it to drop officially.”
You didn't like how the air seemed to shift during this exchange, as if all the other boys were sitting on the edges of their seats, faces morphed into mixed ranges of confusion and disbelief.
You cleared your throat. “Anyone want more drinks?”
As the night waned and the party came to a close, you found yourself being helped into another Uber car to head home. After the supposed tech glitch, the remainder of the party passed by without a hitch. At the very end, Yunho popped open a theatrical bottle of champagne for all his guests to close out the celebration.
The backseat door closed just as Yunho ducked in with you, his hand waving out the window to San, Wooyoung, and Jongho passing by along the curb.
The alcohol had gradually made its way to your brain, and there was a light buzzing at the base of your skull that made you feel all warm and fuzzy. You yawned, leaning your head against Yunho's shoulder.
He chuckled, one of his hands coming up to gently pat your head. “Tired?”
“Mhm,” you hummed as your eyelids fluttered closed. “You didn't have to lie, y'know.”
You felt his shoulder tense under your cheek. If only you could feel the rapid beating in his chest, then he'd be as good as done.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” he replied innocently, nimble fingers running over the chain links of his wristwatch.
Your eyes cracked open slowly. “Yunho.”
A beat passed, then he sighed. “Are you mad?” He asked quietly and his hand nearest to you found yours as he began to mindlessly inspect the chipped nail polish on your fingertips.
“No, silly. Why would I be mad?” When he didn't respond right away, you let out an exhale of your own. “I mean, I could tell you were nervous about me listening to the song all night. And if you weren't ready for me to listen to it yet, then I totally get that, and I'm okay with waiting. I just would rather you tell me that instead of make Hongjoong lie for you.”
He stopped playing with your fingers. “I'm sorry, for the record. Thank you for understanding.”
You hummed in reply.
The drive continued on with the accompaniment of a random radio station playing on low volume. You weren't going to fall asleep just yet with the alcohol still working its way through your system, but you kept your eyes closed nonetheless.
“I missed you, you know?” Were his first words to break the next silence.
A small smile wormed its way onto your face. “I missed you, too. I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever.”
He chuckled, the low sound rumbling through his chest and into your ear. “Texting can only take us so far. Isn't that crazy? We can't even survive a week without hanging out, but we're… we're about to be separated for so much longer timewise and distance-wise.”
You grumbled. “Don't remind me—wait. Has it really only been a week?” You peeked one eye open, a frown coming to your lips. “No way.”
Yunho smiled, shaking his head. “Believe it or not, stargirl. It's been only a week.”
“In-fucking-sane.”
“You're telling me.”
“How are we going to survive?” You pondered aloud, genuinely. If you couldn't fly out to see him within the first handful of tour stops, you and Yunho at the soonest wouldn't be able to see each other for three weeks. And if you couldn't escape your work duties and your PhD responsibilities, then it would be longer than that. “You're gonna have a closer relationship with your Valorant account than me.”
Yunho snorted. “I already have a closer relationship with my Valorant account than you.”
“Shucks.” You breathed out. “Guess I'll just text Hongjoong then. You know what he told me tonight when we were exchanging numbers? All eight of you nerds have a group chat and he gets ignored like a mom in a family chatroom.”
Your comment made a laugh tumble out of Yunho's mouth. “Did he make that analogy?”
“No, Seonghwa did when he overheard.”
A wheeze. “That tracks.” Yunho licked his lips as he turned his head slightly to glance down at you leaning on his shoulder. With his free hand, he warmed his palm over your head like he could keep you here forever. “So what's this about texting Joong?”
You shifted your position to get more comfortable and clung to his arm to press yourself closer. There was still a little ways to go before you reached your apartment. “I told him offhandedly that I wanna pick up a new hobby… something about crocheting or something, and apparently that guy is like… amazing at everything, so he's gonna help me out.”
“Ah.” The sound was quiet. “I'm glad you guys got along.”
You smiled to yourself. “Me too. He's really cool.”
“Not cooler than me though, right?”
You blindly reached over to pat his chest in warm reassurance. “Don't worry, big guy. I guess you're still the coolest guy I know.”
He clicked his tongue at you with a weak chiding, “Yah. You only guess? Don't tell Mingi that.”
“Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.”
The Uber eventually pulled up along the curb outside your apartment complex. You lifted your head up from Yunho's shoulder and woke yourself up with a good stretch of your limbs.
He helped you out of the car, handing you your purse when you finally got your bearings. “Are you sure I can't walk you up? You look like your knees are about to buckle,” he chuckled.
You shook your head. The cool evening air was helping your brain to sober up. “No, no. Don't worry about it—I’m not as drunk as that one year.”
“Dear heart, how could I forget,” he teased. “Mingi still has the recording of when you begged to be bridal carried.”
Your face warmed at his mention of that memory and you wrinkled your nose at him. “I was gonna say ‘I love you’ along with goodnight, but I suppose not.”
Yunho froze. “What?”
Maybe you really weren't sobering up, because you didn't catch his strange reaction. “Nevermind,” you said flippantly. “Love you, Yun. Good night. Get home safe!”
He seemed to unfreeze, his lungs filling with breath again. A soft smile melted onto his pretty lips as he looked on toward you with a warm fondness. “Love you, too. Good night, Yn.”
He remained where he was outside the car door as he watched you dig your keys out from your purse and open the complex door. When you had one foot inside, you stopped, and turned back to him with a big grin on your face. “Hey!”
“Hey?” He laughed.
“I'm proud of you.”
For the thousandth time tonight, you made him lose his breath, his hold on reality. He swallowed—he wanted to kiss you. “I love you. Get some rest, stargirl.”
You waved to him in reply and he waved back. Then you disappeared through the door and left him there, his heart full and beating fast, the longing in his chest weighing heavier than before.
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When you and Yunho were thirteen, you spent the longest period of time away from each other for the rest of your lives. It measured to about one summer break long when Yunho flew to South Korea to spend the entire vacation there and you could do nothing but chat with him via good, old fashioned e-mail.
Now that the two of you were older, even a couple days dragged on like an eternity. And because of your clashing and stacked schedules, a couple days almost always bled into a week.
A week since the release of Youth marked the inevitable release of its deluxe edition and the ever mysterious fourteenth track.
“Yn, wait, can you just help me finish this set of primers?”
You were this close to escaping the lab before one of your colleagues caught you. Taking a deep breath, you resolved to turn back and help them out. One less thing to worry about later, right? You could still listen to the track once you got home.
Except you couldn't, at least not right away. You saw the email on the bus ride home:
Hello TAs! One of your peers has unfortunately been involved in a motorbike accident early this evening. We have been informed that they will recover to full health, but because they are hospitalized, we will need to redistribute responsibilities regarding grades and as to who will cover their TA sections…
You skimmed down the email's contents, knowing you wouldn't be the one filling in as an actual TA. Because you were a first year graduate student in your first quarter, you opted to start off with grading work for now. But even if you didn't have to deal with a whole section of undergraduates, you could feel the blood drain from your face.
“You've gotta be shitting me,” you said, then slapped your hand over your mouth once you realized you'd said that aloud. You mouthed a sheepish “sorry” to a parent and her child nearby, then ducked your head to look at the contents once more.
There was no way they wanted—no, needed—all of those graded by tonight.
This was cruel and unusual punishment, but you knew you were going to do it anyway.
By the time you finished grading, shoveled dinner into your mouth, and took a therapeutically scalding hot shower, it was sometime past two in the morning. Thank fuck it was Saturday.
It was less than twelve hours later that you settled into the passenger seat of Yunho's Lexus sedan with a pair of shades covering your dehydrated, puffy eyes from the world and whatever paparazzi was stalking his car. Yunho glanced over at you with barely concealed amusement. “Well, good morning, princess.”
“You can't see it but I'm glaring at you,” you grunted as you strapped yourself in with the seatbelt. “I can't believe you wake up before noon now.”
“Unfortunately,” he chuckled, peeling his car away from the curb. After an unsatisfactory six hours of sleep, Yunho had woken you up with the obnoxiously loud sound of your phone ringing. You managed to negotiate for him to pick you up in two hours rather than half an hour—and now here you were. You never truly considered yourself a breakfast person and you would have happily slept all the way to lunch, but even through the exhaustion, you wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see you.
He would be gone by the end of the week, after all.
You leaned your head back against the headrest. “I used to have to lure you out of bed with the smell of bacon. Remember when you ate that entire plate of raw-ass bacon and pancake batter that Mingi made?”
Yunho let out a loud laugh that made you smile. He glanced over at you. “Bro,” he sighed, shaking his head, “you know I'll eat anything. Oh my gosh, I will never forget the horrified look on your face when you came out of the bathroom and found out what happened.”
“You looked like a kicked puppy when I told you that you shouldn't have eaten raw bacon,” you snorted. You'd felt so awful that Yunho was such a good eater who didn't complain; he didn't have any negative side effects afterward, thankfully, but you swore to never let Mingi in the kitchen or to let Mingi feed Yunho ever again, so long as you lived.
There was a café a few minutes drive from your apartment complex that the two of you liked to go to. It was a little hole in the wall, located on the second floor above a pet shelter, and the entrance could only be accessed through the stairs in the next-door alleyway.
Yunho adjusted the beanie over his bangs and you shifted your sunglasses up to the top of your head as you entered the establishment. There were a few people seated in the area to the right, but something you liked about this place was its hidden gem quality. (And the drinks and food they served, of course.)
“Hi, welcome in!” The barista behind the counter called before ducking behind the espresso machine. “Give me two seconds, and I'll be right with you.”
“No worries, take your time,” Yunho chirped back as he scoured the menu, eyes squinting and tongue darting out to wet his lips.
You had a general idea of what you wanted already, and you let Yunho know what it was before slipping off into the restroom.
By the time you emerged from the back hallway where the washrooms were, Yunho had finished ordering and was standing by one of the open two-seater tables by the far window with the soft autumn sunlight painting over his features. For a second, you stood at the opening of the hallway, just admiring him. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep making you envision the sunlight dancing around him as he sat down in one of the seats.
Heat rushed up your neck as your eyes met across the café. Gazes locked, you stood frozen, but a smile bloomed on your best friend's face like the coming of spring. It was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.
And then he made a face, cocking his head to the side like a puppy with a question. 'Why are you just standing there?’ He seemed to ask.
You shook yourself out of whatever strange daze you'd slipped into, then walked over to join him.
“You okay?” He asked as you took the seat across from him, a teasing lilt to his voice, yet there was still concern in the curve of his mouth.
You waved said concern away. “Yeah. I think I'm still waking up or something.”
“Ah,” he nodded in understanding. He frowned. “What time did you go to sleep last night?”
“Like… some time past two.” On cue, you let out a large yawn, lifting your sleeve up to cover your mouth. “It's okay. I'll just sleep early tonight or something. One of the other TAs got into an accident, so we just had to do some make-up work and I just happened to get home late as it was.”
You could already see the guilt manifest on his face for waking you up, and you were swift to add, “I'll be fine with food and coffee, so 's alright. What about you? How'd you sleep last night?”
“I slept decently,” he replied, leaning forward to rest his cheek against his fist. “I didn't end up dropping the deluxe album, so it was a little more restful than—”
Your brain took a second to catch up. The… the deluxe album… oh. Your eyes went from half-mast to wide open. “You—you didn't release the deluxe? Sorry, I was so busy yesterday that I didn't check my socials.”
“Don't worry about it,” he said with a sheepish smile. “But yeah, I told my manager that I still wasn't ready to release it to the public just yet. I don't know when I'll postpone it to, but it probably won't come out until while I'm on tour.”
Ah. There was that disappointment settling in the pit of your stomach again. This wasn't about you, but why did it seem like he was avoiding your eventual listening to this song? He was almost always sending you audio files without prompting, so what made this one different?
Nonetheless, it wasn't your song. You would respect Yunho's privacy if he wanted to keep this one to himself and his friends.
You unconsciously rubbed your arm. “Oh okay. Yeah, I mean—take your time, Yun. I'm glad you don't feel pressured to release it when you aren't ready.”
His expression softened to something tender that made your chest feel fuzzy. “You'll listen to it soon, I promise.”
The barista called out Yunho's order number, and your friend stood up to go retrieve it. You sighed as you fiddled with the sleeve of your shirt and peered over your shoulder as a pair of newcomers asked him for his autograph and a picture. You watched the pleasant smile spread on Yunho's face as he conversed with them as easy as breathing air, alongside the faint blush over his cheekbones.
No, you didn't know what had gotten into you this morning.
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“No, no. You have to loop it through this piece here—yeah, there you go.”
You were so concentrated on following Hongjoong's directions that you didn't even register the sound of Yunho's front door opening and closing. Hongjoong clicked his tongue and scooted closer so he could direct your hands and the crochet hook himself.
“Uhm… hey?”
Both yours and Hongjoong's heads whipped up at the sound of Yunho's confusion. He stood at the entrance to the living room area where, scattered all around you and Hongjoong, were clothes, toiletries, and other essentials laid out for Yunho to throw into his bags.
Tonight marked the evening before Yunho and the team were to set off on the Youth World Tour. Tomorrow, they would fly out sometime in the afternoon, which meant that you would have time to send them off before heading to work and class. However, because you hadn't seen Yunho since this past Saturday when he dragged your ass out of bed for breakfast, you invited yourself over to his apartment to oversee his packing. Hongjoong just so happened to be swinging by Yunho's apartment and you asked if he was up for an impromptu crocheting lesson.
Hongjoong arrived some time while Yunho ran out to the Chinese place down the block to grab dinner, and the two of you had been hunched over the ball of yarn and hook ever since.
“Oh, you're back!” You exclaimed. In your distracted state, Hongjoong took the opportunity to take the crochet piece from you and subtly fix the mistakes you made.
Yunho's brows creased, eyes darting from you to Hongjoong as he slowly placed the takeout bags on the semi-cleared coffee table. “Yeah… Joong, when did you get here?”
You leaned forward to help clear off the rest of the coffee table and to also assist in unpacking all of the takeout containers. Yunho shucked the baseball cap he was wearing off to the side, carding a hand through his dark locks.
“Like… seven minutes ago,” he replied cheekily. His mouth curled into something mischievous as he locked eyes with Yunho. “I can leave, though, if you wanted to be alone—”
“Hyung—”
“I'm messing with you,” he snickered as he handed you the yarn and hook. “I only came by to drop off the emergency backup files hard drive and to give Yn-ie a sneak peek of her crocheting lessons to come.”
(Yunho's eyes narrowed a millimeter. Yn-ie?)
You set the unfinished crochet square down on the couch to walk Hongjoong to the door. “Are we still on for tomorrow, by the way?”
“What's tomorrow?” Yunho twisted around where he was seated on the floor to watch you and Hongjoong make your way to the front door.
“You,” said Hongjoong with raised eyebrows at your best friend, “are going on a plane with everyone else. Because I'm not leaving until the day after tomorrow, Yn and I are bonding over lunch after we see you all off.”
You and Hongjoong finished up finalizing plans in the doorway, followed by amiable farewells. Yunho called out a “good night” to his friend as Hongjoong slipped out the door, and left you and him to the apartment by yourselves.
You claimed the spot on the floor next to him and accepted the pair of wooden chopsticks he extended to you. “I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to invite him in. I probably should've asked,” you said sheepishly as you snapped the chopsticks apart.
“Oh, no, he's been over quite a few times, so it's all good,” he replied swiftly. “I just didn't expect you two to be so close.” He added a laugh at the end that sounded more nervous to him than it was supposed to.
“We've been texting back and forth, but I guess so. Nothing like the two of you,” you jested, lifting your eyebrows up and bumping your elbow against his.
Yunho grinned. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“You guys spend all that time together in the studio—WHA—NO! Keep those hands to yourself!” You shrieked, rolling out of the way to dodge his hands that threatened to tickle you into submission. Yunho had thrown his head back in a carefree laugh, a beautiful expression in itself, that had you reciprocating.
When you were sure he wasn't going to attack you (affectionately), you scooted back over to your original spot next to him. He smiled to himself at the sidelong glance you casted him, and he went and grabbed one carton of rice for himself and the other for you.
“Thank you for dinner, by the way,” you told him as you opened up your carton, his somehow already opened and spilling over with food.
You once again caught him with his mouth full, and Yunho swallowed the bite of food he had before replying. “Yeah, man. Of course.”
“I swear that I will definitely get the next meal we have—”
“Yn.” He touched the back of his hand against your arm to draw your attention to him. “You literally were the one to make sure I made it out of college alive, like, I can never thank you enough for how much you did for me then and continue to do for me now.”
You swallowed, suddenly blown back by the way he looked at you right now. “I did it because I care about you, Yun. It's not something I expect to be repaid for.”
“I know,” he said with a nod, lips pulled into a tender smile that made your stomach do flips. This was the look no one else got to see from him. Sure, he could fill stadiums of people who would see his big, bright grin that shone brighter than the sun, but… but this one, this smile, was yours. “That goes the same toward this meal, okay?”
Yunho notched his finger under your chin and tilted your head up slightly to meet his eyes. “Don't worry about it.”
You set your carton of rice and chopsticks on the table, he copied your movements, and you wrapped each other in your mutual embraces. The startling realization that you wouldn't see him for longer than a week from tomorrow onward rushed toward you like the coming of a tide to shore. Before you knew it, the water was up to your knees, and you—what were you going to do without him here?
“I miss you already,” you whispered.
You felt him squeeze you tighter, nose pressed against the side of your neck. “I won't be gone too long.” A promise.
“Thank god Seonghwa and Wooyoung can cook.” At the sound of his snort from above your head, you squawked out in your defense, “Who else is gonna make you bacon and pancakes in the morning when you’re dead tired?”
“Hey! I can fry bacon, I’ll have you know!”
You pulled away from him so he could see the look of pure disbelief on your face. “Okay, rockstar. I believe you.”
He scrunched his nose up at you. “That’s not very convincing.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
Yunho scoffed, reaching over to flick your nose. You let out a sound of indignation and rubbed your nose, a scowl on your face at Yunho’s very pleased expression. And even if you were currently conspiring on how to get back at him, you couldn’t help but resolve something right that second—you would do everything in your power to see his show in two weeks’ time—to see Yunho in two weeks’ time.
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The thing about cheap plane tickets was that the cheaper you bought them, the less “amenities” that it came with. The one you’d purchased specifically for two weeks in the future did not allow you a refund. This meant that if something were to arise, you would be a good several hundred dollars poorer, and your plans to surprise Yunho at his show would fall completely through the floor.
Good thing you weren’t about to let that happen, right? …Right?
“You’re sick.” Those were your roommate Trinity’s first words to you as you stumbled out of your bedroom and found her perched on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. She fixed you with an unimpressed look as she stirred around her morning coffee.
“I’m not—” Your own response was cut off by one very untimely cough into your elbow. You wrinkled your nose at the metallic taste at the back of your throat. Great. “—sick.”
“And I’m Oprah,” she deadpanned.
“You could be.” Did you really sound as much like a dying walrus as you thought you did? Holy shit.
She stood up from her stool, setting her coffee cup on the counter, then walked over to you to direct you back into your room. “I’m not permitting you exit from this apartment until you're better. Back to bed with you.”
“But—”
“No buts! If you wanna still be able to fly by the end of this week, then you have to get better, Yn.”
You really, unfortunately, could not argue with that. Nearly a week and a half had passed since Yunho started touring. Opening night had been a massive success, as you’d seen the broadcast and read the reviews on social media. In the concert photos and videos slowly being released online, there was no doubt in your mind that Yunho belonged onstage. He was radiant as a diamond in each depiction of him, and he sounded better and better each night.
Suffice to say, you were beyond proud and happy for him.
In order to make your surprise successful, you informed Yunho’s team of your plans so they could help you get into the concert once you arrived. Your part consisted mainly of finishing all of your work ahead of schedule so you weren’t swamped when you got back. It was nearing the end of the term, meaning there was lots to grade and study, but when you had a goal, you were determined.
The only downside was that, between the long days and nights of work, your body couldn’t fight against the swift rush of early winter air that swept through the city in the past week. Your working hours stretched out longer and longer until your body just… gave up. Or at least, it was giving up.
After calling in sick to your workplace, you crashed back into bed for what you hoped to be a restful nap. Maybe when you woke up, this would all just turn out to be a 24-hour fever.
(It was not a 24-hour fever.)
You didn't even know what time it was when you woke up groggy and your head pounding like there was an active construction site taking place in your skull. Your bedroom was dark, and the world outside your window was also dark. The sound of your phone ringing drilled into your cranium, and you groaned as you felt around your mess of blankets and sheets for wherever that damned thing was—
“Hello?” You croaked into the receiver when you finally grabbed ahold of your phone.
There was a pause on the other end, and you were about to ask who it was when they responded. “Oh my god. You're sick.”
Your heart leapt into your throat at the sound of your best friend's voice and you shoved your face into the pillow. “I'm not sick.”
“Yn, sweetheart, you literally have the sexy sick voice.”
“You think I'm sexy?” You asked in a drowsy, unwell daze. “But anyways, I'm not—” You lifted your face into your elbow in time to practically hack out your lungs. You groaned. “Okay, maybe I am sick.”
Could things get any worse?
You could hear the frown in his voice. “You sound like my worst nightmare.”
“Am I sexy or your worst nightmare? You need to pick an adjective.” You whimpered as you struggled to pull yourself up into a sitting position.
“At least I know it did nothing to that attitude of yours,” he laughed. He sobered for a moment when he heard you groan as the blood rushed to your head. “Hey, do you have meds with you? I can order some and have them there in half an hour.”
You waved him off, even though he wouldn't be able to see. “No, it's okay. I should have taken an ibuprofen before I crashed. I'm sure we've got extra Nyquil around here somewhere…”
You attempted to stand up, a swear falling from your mouth as the vertigo hit you and sent you tumbling back down onto the edge of the bed.
“Yn, I'm sending you medicine—and dinner. That one bistro near your apartment is still open, right? I'll let Trinity know that deliveries are on the—Yn?”
You lifted your head and broke out of your return to unconsciousness. “Hm? Sorry… I did not hear anything you just said.” You rubbed your hand down your face and scooped your phone up to make your way out of your room. You somehow made it to the door, and you leaned against the doorjamb as you pushed out into the dark hallway. “You don't have to send anything, Yun. Trinity's studying for her law school finals, so I don't wanna bother her. Plus…”
You opened up the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and bit back a sigh of disappointment. No cold medicine. There was pain medication, at least, so that should hopefully help you fall asleep again.
At your lack of words, Yunho asked, “No medicine?”
“No, I have some medicine,” you countered. “Just—not the right ones.” Before you could swallow any pills, you hacked out another lung into your elbow; you swore your coughs were sounding worse and worse.
“You know what? I'm flying home—”
You slammed the pill bottle on the bathroom counter. “Don't—what? Yunho, do not fly home. It's literally just a little—” You coughed, “—cold. You have another show in two days. If you show up on my doorstep, I'm not opening the door.”
From the silence on his end, you knew he wasn't in total agreement with you. Maybe the bottle slamming was a little much, but his statement had surprised you. It didn't make sense for him to drop everything for you when you were experiencing something so trivial as a cold.
Not unkindly, you said to him, “I appreciate the concern, but you have bigger things to worry about and care about.”
“You will always be the most important thing I care about.”
His admission was so sincere that your heart gave a violent palpitation in your chest. You struggled to swallow, and it wasn't just because your throat was sore. “And I feel the same way about you,” you murmured, “but I can take care of myself, okay? I'll be back to normal in no time.”
You heard a sigh from his end. “I know; you're right. I just… wish I was there with you right now.”
You could understand that—it was how you felt. But some things couldn't be helped, and Yunho needed to be where he was and you needed to be where you were. You could hold down the fort while he was gone taking over the world by storm.
You closed the bathroom door to give an extra barrier between your voice and where Trinity was studying in her room. After knocking back a couple painkillers, you seated yourself on the floor with your back against the bathtub and your knees pulled up to your chest. “You know what's kind of ironic?” You coughed into your elbow and wrestled down another one bubbling up in your throat. You shouldn't have been speaking so much, but you could deal with the repercussions later. “I think I freaked out when you said you were going to fly home, not just because that's insane, but also because I was going to surprise you by flying out to your show in a couple days.”
He sucked in a breath. “You were gonna come surprise me?”
“Yeah,” you muttered, swiping at your nose and tucking your chin to your knees. Then you had to go and screw it all up, and you couldn't even get your money back. You pretty much accepted that you weren't going to be better by the time the day rolled around, especially not for travel. “I'm sorry I couldn't come see you.”
“No, don't be sorry!” He cooed. “I'm—I’m really sorry you're sick and I'm sad you couldn't make it, but… but think of it this way, hm? As soon as you get better, I'll fly you out to whatever city I'm in and we can hang out and you can come to the concert. All you have to do is get better for me.”
You didn't know if your schedule would allow after this setback, but you were going to remain optimistic. With a small glimmer of hope peering through your chest, you replied, “Okay.”
“Okay,” he said, and you could hear the fond smile in his voice.
“By the way,” you began, and had to clear your throat from how congested it was getting. Maybe some hot tea would do you good. You clambered to your feet to get out of this bathroom and do just that. “Was there a reason you called originally or was it just to say hi?”
A beat of hesitation passed between your question and his answer. “Ah…” There was a wince in his voice, “I, uhm, called because I wanted to know if you'd seen something online, but obviously you haven't 'cause you were asleep, but…”
Seen something online? Your movements with your electric kettle paused. Had someone posted something about Yunho? “What is it, Yun?” Who's ass did you need to beat?
“Seonghwa hyung found out that someone leaked the hidden track online a few hours ago.”
You leaned your cheek against your palm, eyebrows knitting together. “Shit, dude. I'm so sorry,” you said with a frown. That meant some rando on the internet had hacked into someone's files and leaked the song.
A sharp exhale from Yunho's end. “Yeah, I dunno. We're working on getting it taken down right now, but in the event it can't be done soon enough, I think I'm just gonna release the deluxe version in a couple hours.”
It seemed by his response that it wasn't the hacking that was his primary concern. Leaked, unreleased songs happened to every major artist in the industry, and it had most definitely happened to Yunho before this. But this time… this time felt different. You knew how hesitant he was to release this, and having the track get released to the public on terms that weren't his? Well, that just wasn't fair.
“You don't,” you said softly, reaching for a mug in the top cabinet to plop your tea bag into, “have to release it officially right now. You can still wait until you're comfortable.”
You heard sounds of shuffling on his end, followed by the sound of a door opening. You thought you heard Yeosang's voice as he murmured something to Yunho. The exchange was swift, but it reminded you that your time with your best friend here was limited.
“Do you need to go?” You asked, trying to cover up your hope that he didn't have to with nonchalance.
He hummed. “It's okay, I have a few minutes left. They want me to 'okay’ a couple things out on set, but that can wait. Uhm… as for what you said about releasing it—I,” he sighed, “I think this was the push I needed to finally drop it, y'know? I think either way I was going to be scared for—for people to hear it—for you to hear it. But uhm… yeah. That's all I wanted to say. I think it'll probably be released whenever you wake up.”
You poured the hot water of your tea bag, setting the kettle down gently. Letting the steam rise up to help clear your congestion, you could finally think a little clearer now. “I'm sorry this didn't happen on your terms.”
“I appreciate that. I hope you like the song—I… I really hope you like the song.”
A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “I'm going to like the song, rockstar. You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”
He let out a small laugh and the sound of his happiness, however big or small, made your chest feel heavy. “I’ve missed you so much,” he rasped out. “So much.”
You pressed your forehead to your fist, willing the prickling feeling of tears at bay. “I wish I was there—I’ve wished I was there with you the moment you left. But I'm so, so proud of you. I know I've said this before, but you belong on that stage, Yunho. I'll be there… I'm always there in spirit.”
“You can't say that and expect me not to fly my ass home right now.”
You sputtered out a laugh, which was probably a bad idea, because it led to an utter disaster of a coughing fit. When you finally managed to get a reign on things, you picked up your mug of tea and took a couple ginger sips. It was still piping hot, but whatever scalding temperature it was at somehow soothed your throat and your head.
You set the cup down. “Again, I'll be there in no time, I promise.”
“You swear on your life?”
You sighed, but you pressed your lips into a smile. “I swear on my life.”
Yunho's departure from this call was imminent, and so you made further promises to get plenty of rest and to take care of yourself. You only did so when he promised to do the same for himself. Just after you both hung up, you received a text message from him: Stay up for five more minutes!! The delivery's almost there.
You huffed out a rough-sounding laugh, and bit your tongue around a smile. Of course he had still ordered you stuff. You shook your head to settle on one of the kitchen stools to nurse your tea and wait for the delivery to get here.
When the driver was safely out of bounds of your door, you poked your head out into the hallway to grab the paper bags seated on your doorstep. You had only expected medicine and maybe dinner, but not only were there cold medicines, orange juice, and hot soup from the bistro down the street, but there was a bouquet of flowers there, too.
Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you pulled everything into the safety of your apartment. Damn Jeong Yunho and his gestures. It didn't mean anything—they were just Get Well Soon flowers, but why did you kind of wish they were more than that?
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The Youth album's fourteenth track entitled your space hit the charts at number two. By the time you woke up, still sick as hell, the track had been officially released for about eight hours. You rolled over in bed to guzzle down half a bottle of water and cold medicine, then grabbed your phone.
It seemed that social media blew up while you were asleep. The deluxe drop was trending under a couple different tags, and based on initial skims, you were happy to report that most had everything good to say about it.
Though, some of the commentary made you pause. He has to be seeing someone, said one user. Look at these lyrics. These could only be produced by a man in love.
You had to swipe out of the app at that point. Instead, you went over to yours, Yunho's, and Mingi's group chat together where Mingi and Yunho had waged a meme war while you were asleep after Mingi wished you a “Get Better Soon” message. You sent back your own meme in response and opened your music streaming app to find track fourteen.
The boys would probably all be asleep by now, so they wouldn't respond any time soon.
You found your space exactly where you thought it would be, at the very bottom of the deluxe album. You sat yourself up against your headboard, plugged your earbuds in, then hit play.
If only you knew how much it would rock your world.
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Hongjoong was never wrong about his hunches. It had been about a week and a half since you came down with an awful cold and couldn't make it to your intended surprise show, and slightly less than that since the deluxe album dropped. Even before the tour started, life was a whirlwind, but now that the tour was only ramping up further from this point, it had been nothing short of a total rush.
Different cities every week, at least two nights a city—all of it took a toll on both the staff and artist involved. Hongjoong's hunch, however, regarded the artist in particular as he watched said artist keep his smile up to say goodnight to the remainder of the stadium workers who lingered for cleanup. Yesterday was their last show date in this city, and today, Yunho and his team had come by to help load everything up for transport to their next destination. Tomorrow, they would fly out and be in the next city to begin preparing for the next round.
But as Yunho began making his way toward the exit where Hongjoong was waiting for him, it was impossible to miss the immediate exhaustion that flooded his features. He carded a hand through his hair as he checked his phone, then pocketed it in the back pocket of his pants.
“Hey,” Yunho nodded to Hongjoong as he met him at the exit and they both walked out into the chilly evening together. There was already a car waiting at the curb to take them back to their hotel—there was still so much that needed to be done before they left for the airport tomorrow.
“Hey,” he said back. “Everything okay?”
Yunho glanced over at him. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine; just tired. I think it's a good thing I started packing before we came here earlier,” he mused. For him to pack early? A miracle.
Hongjoong bobbed his head in understanding. “Yeah, I get that, but that's not really—you know you can be honest with me, right? I know this has all been… a lot.” And Hongjoong would understand; he had been in the public eye for so long now, and all of that could be so incredibly draining. From catering to fans and journalists and sponsors, it could be difficult finding himself amongst all that mess.
Plus, Yunho had the added bit of being away from home for a very long time. From what Hongjoong understood, Yunho only used to tour relatively close to home, and when it was farther, it was during his school breaks. He also knew that you were an integral part of Yunho's sanity, and that even before he reached this level of fame, you were his rock, his anchor, his ground control.
Being away from you for so long was beginning to show. When Hongjoong brought it up offhandedly to Mingi, Mingi was swift to agree.
“I—” Yunho began as he slipped into the passenger seat and Hongjoong into the back of the car. He murmured a soft greeting to the driver before strapping himself in with a seatbelt. “—it definitely has been hard,” he admitted with a sigh. “I don't know, Joong. You know that rush you get while onstage, but it just comes crashing down a couple hours later? Like the adrenaline leaves you all at once and all you crave for is home?”
Hongjoong pursed his lips, watching Yunho lean the side of his head against the window as he watched the world pass by. “Yeah, I do,” he said quietly. “The moments between all the rush and excitement, you're no longer distracted from how much it all is.”
A nod. “Yeah.”
“You miss her?” It was less of a question and more so a statement. Hongjoong's hunches were never incorrect. It was both a blessing and a curse.
Yunho's quiet was answer enough.
Hongjoong played around with the back of his phone case. He knew you had listened to the song—he’d asked Yunho and you'd texted Hongjoong, too. Yunho reported that you gushed about the song and affirmed him in all his choices and lyricism as always, but he was certain that you didn't get it. But when you had run to Hongjoong questioning your own feelings and if Yunho had been scared to tell you if he was in love with someone, Hongjoong could confidently say that you did get it, just not one hundred percent.
There was still miscommunication in the message, but he knew that was only something that the two of you could sort out.
“Have you guys talked since last week?”
“Yeah, we have. She's been…” He pushed a breath out of his mouth, “... She's been working her ass off trying to make up for the amount of time she was sick. I don't even know how she isn't getting sick again. I mean—all the shit she has to weather through—I wish I could help.”
And he couldn't, not like how he wanted to, not from so far away. Maybe that was what was eating him up inside the most, besides the fact he believed his feelings to be unrequited.
The car pulled up to the back entrance of the hotel Yunho and his team were staying at for the time being. The two of them thanked the driver on their way out, and they were swiftly greeted by employees coming out of the back for their breaks.
When they reached the warmth of their hotel floor's hallway, Yunho said to Hongjoong, “I miss her so much.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his Youth World Tour hoodie, eyes lined in silver. “I worry about her so much, too. I'm sure she worries just as much about me and I know that she's more than capable about taking care of herself—’cause god, she was the one who kept me afloat all these years, and I—”
I love her.
He slapped his key card against the reader and shoved into his hotel room with Hongjoong trailing after with a sympathetic frown on his face.
“It just feels wrong sometimes when I can't be with her. Is that crazy?”
Hongjoong settled a warm hand on Yunho's shoulder as the latter sat down on the edge of his bed. “It's not crazy,” he said. He'd felt like that about a person, once upon a time. After everything Hongjoong had gone through with his last relationship, one might think he didn't believe in love, but he was still clawing for it. He wanted something that he could see manifesting between you and Yunho. He wanted to help you reach that.
He sighed and sat down next to him. “It's completely valid to feel this way, y'know? She's been a huge part of your life and your passions, and for you to see all this without her seems incomplete.”
Yunho nodded. “Yeah.”
“You can go home whenever you want, you realize that?” Hongjoong asked. “We have time built into each week to give you rest days, man. We can make that work.” It might be a little tiring for so much travel, but one trip back wouldn't hurt, especially when it could help his mental state more than simply powering through.
“I know,” he replied. “I don't… I just feel like I want her to see that I can do this, that she didn't put her trust and energy into someone who would fall so fast—”
“Do you seriously believe she would think about you that way?”
Yunho's expression shuddered, and he let out a shaky breath as he shook his head.
Hongjoong arched his brow. “Exactly. She would never fault you for needing a break. Being human is not a sign of weakness, Yunho. She's your best friend—I think she has more forgiveness and compassion for you than that.”
Yunho swallowed. Of course what Hongjoong said was right. You wouldn't look at him any different if he needed a break; it was just a thing about being kinder to himself. But sometimes it was hard to put that into perspective, and perhaps he just needed someone to do that for him.
With no good choice made without a decent night of sleep, Hongjoong bid Yunho goodnight.
As soon as Hongjoong slipped out of his friend's room, he sighed and mentally calculated what time it would be where you were. You should have been awake.
And awake, you definitely were.
You would be lying if you said you hadn't been listening to the song your space on repeat for the past week and a half. Even as you sat in one of the campus dining halls doing work and eating your crappy sandwich for lunch, your headphones were spilling with your best friend's gorgeous croons.
You questioned everything at the same time. You'd figured out two days after you first heard it that you were in love with your best friend.
The lyrics had resonated with you, and you had come to the startling conclusion that you felt the song's meaning toward Yunho.
All you could do since was freak the fuck out and tell Yunho that the song was incredible. You didn't know who the song was for or about, but you knew it was important to him because of how scared he was to release it. Had he been scared to tell you he was in love with someone? Why?
Sometimes you found yourself tearing apart the lyrics like a rabid trash panda.
I couldn't ever leave you behind They couldn't ever take me away Baby, if I could pick a heaven on Earth It would be anywhere in your space.
You broke away from your work and sandwich to the sound of a text notification. Suddenly remembering how loud your vibration ringer was, you silenced it, then opened up Hongjoong's message: I know you're probably moping and eating a shitty sandwich—what. You glanced down at said shitty sandwich that sat in its equally sad plastic container. How did he know…? —and he's not doing well either. He's miserable, dude.
Everything slowed for you, and it was no longer about your so-called epiphany. You felt your entire body and mood drop at the news. You'd seen social media posts commenting on Yunho's stage presence and brightness never fading, but there were always the one or two who noted something along the lines of him seeming too tired or that perhaps he didn't have enough stamina for this.
The latter comments made your blood pressure spike, but there was, unfortunately, some truth to it. You just didn't think it was this bad.
You pressed the backs of your knuckles against your eyes. You hadn't been doing the best, clearly, and you knew that it was largely because you missed him. Being away from someone you considered home for so long meant that you were bound to get homesick.
You didn't know what to do. There was so much work to be done, and you had just caught up. On top of that, you were short a few hundred dollars from the last time you tried to fly out.
Another message buzzed in from Hongjoong: I think you guys really need to talk.
The organ in your chest rattled around in its cage; it longed to be with its partner. You were starting to understand that now.
The song playing in your ear was slowly petering out, and all you could hear was his voice.
And I've kinda been wanting to ask if we can Skip the 'why’ and get to the 'our’ Because baby, I love your space But I love ours more.
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Yunho had not flown home that week. Some emergencies had sprung up as soon as they landed in their new city, and all bets were off to be able to go home. All that he could do was buckle down and get comfortable. Even so, he knew how to make the best out of a situation.
As he stood at the very center of the main stage, he held a hand up to shield his eyes from the bright spotlights shining down on him now.
“Is that better?” Hongjoong's voice echoed throughout the near-empty stadium.
From one of the balconies, Jongho cupped his hands up around his mouth to scream at the top of his lungs, “LOOKS GOOD, HYUNG!”
“Jongho,” Yunho chuckled into his microphone, “did someone not get you a headset, bro?”
A beat passed, and then, “NO.”
Mildly amused laughter cropped up around the stadium in reaction to the youngest's troubles. It was little moments like these where Yunho could forget for one second just how tiring all of this amounted to become. His smile was genuine, and his tongue darted out to trace his teeth—
“Jeong Yunho, put your damn tongue away.”
Yunho's eyes went as wide as saucers, his expression morphing into something like childlike surprise as he immediately retracted his tongue into his mouth. But in the split second it took his brain to process the words that had been said, he also recognized the voice who'd said them. From the big screen, any one of the staff members or you could see the way his face stretched into the widest grin possible, his eyes lighting up like spotlights.
He lifted the mic in his hand up to his lips as he tilted his eyes up to the sound and lighting box far up in the stands. From where he was onstage, he could just make out the shape of you in the box next to Hongjoong—the sneaky bastard. “Ln Yn, get your ass down here right now,” he said, hardly able to contain the excitement in his voice.
You didn't need to be told twice.
You raced down the stadium steps from the box, your legs carrying you as fast as humanly possible without falling. Yunho leapt off the stage and left his microphone behind to meet you in the middle.
Somewhere between the pit and mezzanine, you flew into his arms and he caught you, spinning you around. The glee on both of your faces was enough to make everyone stop and appreciate the tangible love before them. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you pursed your lips to subdue them. You squeezed him as tight as you possibly could; his arms held you firmly around your waist, head tucked into the joint between your neck and shoulder.
“You're here,” he croaked with tears in his voice now. You heard him sniffle, and only held him tighter. He felt the added strength and let out a sob. “I missed you so much.”
Oh, for fuck's sake—you started bawling like a baby. “I—” you sucked in a breath, “—I heard—so I booked a flight—”
This only caused his body to tremble harder. “Oh god… Yn… I…”
You sniffled and brushed your hand over the back of his head in an attempt to get both of you to calm down. “Hey, don't worry about it, okay? It doesn't matter; you know I'd drop everything for you.” When his only response was to press his wet eyes against the heat of your neck, you blinked away your tears. “Plus, I missed you, too, rockstar.”
Yunho let out a watery laugh, gently setting you down onto solid ground. You both looked like a hot mess and a half: snot dripping out of your noses, eyes red and drowned in salty tears. The adrenaline rush from the surprise had trickled out of your system, but your heartbeat continued to rattle around in your chest with reckless abandon. His messy, damp hair; the wobbly shine in his dark brown irises; the way he smiled at you with that something on his face… he was everything to you.
“Glad to know the feeling's mutual,” he said, nudging you with his elbow, then pawing at his eyes to wipe the tears away.
“Good to see you, Yn!” San piped up from the stage with his microphone. He had picked up Yunho's microphone from where he'd abandoned it to come meet you.
You laughed, lifting a hand up in a wave. “Hey, San! Hi everyone!”
Chimes of greetings from all the other boys and staff members cropped up from all around the arena.
Yunho brushed a hand through his hair and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Did all you fuckers know about this?”
Mingi was perched on the ledge of the stage. His grin seemed to be the widest after watching your reunion. He tugged the microphone attached to his earpiece closer to his mouth. “Don't tell us you're not grateful now.”
“Nah, I'm just surprised Wooyoung was able to keep his mouth shut.”
Wooyoung didn't need a microphone to let you all know of his offense. You could hear his squawk of disapproval all the way from where you stood—crazy how acoustics worked.
Yunho heard your laugh from beside him, and he glanced over at you to catch the fond look on your face. He hadn't stopped smiling for the past five minutes, and it didn't matter how much his cheeks hurt. You were here; that was all that mattered.
“This place is—” you marveled as the two of you began walking down the stairs together toward the stage. The backs of your hands brushed against one another, breaths away from touching, from lacing, from being together. “—huge. It's so much more—” You felt your lip wobble again, “I don't even know why I'm getting emotional. It's all you dreamed of as a kid, wasn't it?”
The tears pricked at the edges of his eyes again, and the two of you looked back at each other with equally wet eyes and bright smiles. “Yeah,” he nodded, swiping at his eyes.
“You deserve it.”
“All thanks to you,” he said with a sniffle, hugging you to him again. You were solid and real beneath his fingertips—he was so happy you were here. This was where you belonged; none of this felt right without you.
When you finally reached the bottom of the pit, Yunho had to run back up to the stage, and you went through the aisles until you found your perfect seat. It wasn't long before Mingi bounded up the steps to come join you. He brought you in for a long awaited hug of his own.
“What's good, Yn?” He asked with a soft chuckle as he pulled away and settled in the seat to your left.
Just ahead, Yunho appeared onstage with his microphone in hand, and the two of you lifted your hands in sync to wave to your best friend.
You adjusted your bag in your lap, and clasped a hand on Mingi's shoulder. “This is surreal. Does it feel surreal?”
Mingi's lips pulled into a smile as nostalgia made his vision cloudy. “It does, every single time. I'm glad you're finally here—we’re all very happy that you're here now.”
You bumped your head against his shoulder and let it rest there for a moment, and his hand came up to gently pat your head to tell you he understood. You didn't need to say anything.
For the next hour and a half, you and Mingi got to watch Yunho and everyone else run through the last of the day's lighting checks. Periodically, someone else from Yunho's personal team would come and sit with the two of you, then leave quickly when they had something else on their to-do list.
At last, when the session wrapped up and everyone was sent to go home for an early night, you rushed down to meet with Yunho again.
He waited for you to be at his side before leading you down toward backstage. “There's a couple things I need to grab in my dressing room before we can head back to the hotel.” A thought suddenly interrupted his thoughts and his eyes widened. “Do you have accommodations? Please tell me you do.”
“Don't worry—I promise I'm not sleeping on the streets,” you teased. You'd figured all of that out pretty last minute with Hongjoong and Mingi's help.
Yunho nodded, a smile coming to his face. “Okay, good. I was gonna offer my room and I could sleep on the pullout couch.”
The thought of sleeping in the same room as him made your skin warm, and if you hadn't realized your feelings for him before, you would be confused as to why you were so flustered at the thought now. It wouldn't be the first time you had a sleepover. But this would be… different. Oh lord.
The backstage hallways were scarce and dimly lit in order to save energy, but it was enough to guide you and Yunho's way to the star dressing room. You swallowed as you reached the door—the facade plastered with a pretty, gold star with his name on it—and followed him inside.
“Hey, Yun?” You asked him as you lingered by the door and he rushed around to grab his things. The room was decently spacious, and definitely larger than all the other ones from his past tours.
“Mhm?”
“Could we… talk about something?”
He glanced back over his shoulder as he threw things into his bag. “Yeah, ‘course.”
You toed at the polished ground, fingers twisting and wringing in front of you. “It’s about the song. The, uhm, the your space one.”
His movements paused. He looked up and connected gazes with you through the vanity mirror in front of him. Yunho cleared his throat and ducked his head to zip up his bag. “What—what about it?” He asked, shouldering his bag and meeting you back at the door.
He seemed unable to look you in the eyes directly now as he closed the door behind the both of you as you stepped out into the empty hallway.
“I just,” you stammered. Blood rushed up to your face and you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears. “I needed to know—I didn’t need to know—it’s your life and your song, and you have every right to have feelings for someone without me knowing. And I think I’m asking this for selfish reasons, but… are you seeing someone?”
The question caught him off guard, his eyes blowing wide open. “Wh—no. No, I am not seeing anyone. Why do you ask?”
“The song—I know I shouldn’t be indulging in what people on the internet say, much less in the opinions of those who don’t even know you, but I couldn’t help but agree with them when they say the lyrics, the—the feeling of the song—you’re in love, and I—” Your breath caught in your throat as you choked on the words lodged there: And I am in love with you.
Yunho pushed an exhale out of his mouth and stepped toward you. So much shone in his eyes right then, and it didn’t matter how much light there was in this damn hallway, his eyes would always glitter like twin diamonds. “I am in love with someone. Yn, I’m in love with you,” he said. “I thought that the song would make it obvious, which is why I was so scared for you to hear it, but I realize now that this was just something I should have said outright.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest and it wasn’t from the nerves anymore. God, your knees felt like buckling from the force of the tenderness in his eyes alone. “You’re—you’re in love with me?”
“I am,” he nodded. He slowly reached for your hands and clasped them within his own. “I’ve been in love with you since that day you ran out of Science Olympiad practice to come to my audition; I’ve been in love with you from the moment you yelled at me for not being ambidextrous and I had beef jerky in my mouth—”
“I did not yell at you!”
He broke out into a cheeky, yet fond grin, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face with his hand. “I’ve been in love with you for so long that I can’t imagine what life was like before I was in love with you—and yes, you did yell, but you can yell at me as much as you like, and I would still be head-over-heels for you.”
Your lip curled in on itself at all of his words, at everything he was revealing to you now. You wished you had known—oh, god, you wish you had known. You didn’t know if things would have been different, but for some reason, you had a feeling that all paths might have led here nonetheless.
You squeezed his hand between your own now. “You’re everything to me, Jeong Yunho,” you rasped out, unable to put strength behind your voice for fear of all of the emotion about to spill out. “And I’m so stupid for taking so long to figure it all out, but I’m in love with you, too, and I’d be damned if I let another day pass without you knowing that.”
Something washed over him in that moment, and he laughed, leaning over to cup the back of your neck and rest his forehead against your own. It was ridiculous, the fact that both of you were giggling and smiling at such a precipice of emotion, but it felt right.
You could feel the warmth of his breath against your lips as he murmured, “Fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad.”
“Then come kiss me, rockstar,” you said, looping your arms around his neck. You drew him down to your mouth and felt his body mold against your own. Every crevice and curve slotted so perfectly with one another, and the heavy longing in your chest slowly eased.
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“You guys have been incredible for me tonight—” Yunho beamed as he walked toward the front, center stage and looped the electric guitar strap over his head to the sound of the roaring crowd, “—so I've got a little surprise for you.”
One of the staff members had set out a mic stand and bottle water for him, and he approached both items to fit the microphone into place. Tonight was the Friday night concert being held in this city, and the energy was dialed to one thousand in all the best ways.
He held onto the microphone with one hand. “This song is dedicated to—written for—my best friend in the world, the love of my life, my stargirl. I'm sure you know it—you crazies debuted it at number two on the charts—this is your space.”
His smile tugged up wider at the reaction he received. If anyone in the crowd didn't know the song, they were about to fall in love.
Yunho laughed, shaking his head, as he began checking to make sure his guitar was tuned with practiced, nimble fingers. “Oh, by the way—” he pointed up at the accessory he wore, the crocheted headband holding his hair up and out of his face, with a row of stars across its band, “—she made this for me. Isn't it cute?”
The stadium echoed in choruses of “aw” and cheers.
He could only duck his head with a smile, eyes twinkling with fondness and tenderness at the thought of you. You were in the crowd, but you could be up here with him in spirit. “Yeah, that was me, too.”
After you and Yunho left the stadium yesterday, hands intertwined and a new page in your relationship turned, you’d gone back to his hotel to share a restful evening in one another’s presences. You revealed later that night that you spent the four or five days you were bedridden practicing your crocheting skills until you were able to make him a headband. A row of three stars studded the length of it—stars for your rockstar.
Yunho struck his fingers down the strings of his guitar with a gentle rocking motion from his opposite hand to let the sound reverberate around the stadium. The crowd cried in love as his soulful, beautiful voice filled their ears with love of his own. And as his fans filed out of the stadium for the night and headed home, Yunho could finally return to his home. Because you were here now… no matter how far, no matter the distance, the two of you would always find a way to be in the other's space.
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a/n: pls remember to reblog, comment, and send asks if you enjoyed!
atz m.list
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @tinkerbell460 @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @floatingpluto @gyulfriend @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @soonyoungblr @justanotherkpopstanlol @kangfication @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @haechansbbg @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @mars101 @kflixnet
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ellieslittleburrow · 4 months ago
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Summary : John Winchester, your father, is protective of you
Warnings : swearing and cute John
A/N : should we write more John Winchester?
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John Winchester, a man of many flaws. Sammy can attest to that, he suffered the most from John's decisions. Dean would stand against that, he's been John's boy since the day he was born. Dad this, dad that; That doesn't mean it isn't complicated, though.
You on the other hand.....umm....not suuuure where you stand really, where do you stand?
Everything felt different for you with John. Everything. His love for you was established since the beginning. He got a spark in his eyes whenever you were around that neither of his two boys ever got the chance to see, even Dean.
You were his baby girl.
There were the times where he stood up for you. The bullies??? Never stood a chance. There was that one time in particular when you got h-
"Hey! What did i tell you about slamming doors?" A scolding growl sounded, one that would usually....send shivers down your spine. This time it left you unbothered, or maybe fueled your anger even more.
In an attempt to not cry in front of the Great Winchester, you hurried to the bed assigned to you and threw yourself into a sleeping position, your back facing him.
"HEY" his growl grew angrier and you just hugged yourself. You didn't need him exploding your eardrums on top of everything else that had happened that day. His steps closed in on you and soon enough, your waist was gently being pulled back- you were facing him.
As his eyes navigated around your face, his features simultaniously softened. The creases shaped by the frown on your eyebrows, the sucked in lower lip, the damp eyelashes, all signs of-
"You were crying?" A stupid question that John needed no answer to. He somehow knew why, too. But he asked anyway. "Was it the kids at school?"
With that-you force yourself back on your side. "I told you not to force me into a new school."
Your mumble is muffled but John already knew what you were going to say-you've had this conversation many a times before.
"Come on" Your father tapped your butt before heading towards the door. And your curiosity itched your brain and you turned around, sitting up.
"Where are you going?" You asked and he glanced at you over his own shoulder, a mischivious smile embellishing his face.
"Just get your ass up."
Over in the car, John turned to you. "Do you know where this kid lives?"
You took your damn time to respond, both of you will get into trouble buuuuuuut.... A smirk ghosted your lips. "Yeaaaah?"
"Good, that saves us a lot of time."
You nervously chuckled. "A lot of time for what, dad?" The Impala roared as silence followed your question. You sort of understood. And as you directed him towards the bully's house, your stomach tightened in a mixture of excitement and anxiety.
"Right there, the Cayenne, his father's." You pointed at the car and your dad shamelessly parked his own only a few couples of meters away.
Another nervous chuckle left your lips as your head popped forward. Your eyes followed your dad as he jumped out of the car and headed for the trunk. The hood popped up for a minute and then your dad reappeared with what seemed to be a....BAT?
You jumped out of the car and distress shot through your veins. "Dad" You called for him but he'd already made up his mind and as you stressfullly walked behind him, he casually headed for the car, the bat vibrating in his hands. "Dad, you're gonna get us into trouble." You whispered as if whispering would make the crime your father is about to commit any less obvious.
But John totally ignored you and he swung the bat before sending it into the Cayenne's back window-the glass instantly chattered. You flinched and before you were even able to process the first hit, a second one echoed through the quiet neighborhood.
You flinched again. "Dad, st-"
"I'm only doing this for you, honey." John rounded the car and stopped at the front of the car. "If it were up to me, i'd slice the boy AND his father." The third swing hit harder, more violent. And the alarm continues blaring. "All he had to do was teach his son some manners. But since he can't do that, i'll teach 'em both a good lesson."
There's that story, and there's another one. Where you're being you, and for you, emotions have a like, a giant gravitational pull on your life-just like this time.
You and dad have been on the road for almost two days-stupid shapeshifters and it's that week of the month that's the most chaoti-- and this stupid fucking booth is weird and squishy and-
Your cheeks grew hot and wetness suddenly streamed down your face. When John noticed, he blew out a long sigh. He shut his eyes slowly, bringing his index and thumb to the opposite sides of his face, rubbing roughly.
Not fucking cool, dad. This shit's tiring enough. 'You know what-" You stop midsentence, rushing off to the bathroom but a sudden strain pulled you back.
"No-no, i'm sorry, honey, i'm sor-"
"I'm already tired enough." Your voice came out full and rough, heavy with the build up of saliva in your throat. "don't need you making fun of m-" You were about to yank your wrist away when he held it tighter.
"Come on that's not what's happening here." John swiftly got up and faced you. "I just-i'm tired too, kid. I-" He sighed again, and you wiped away your tears.
"Coooome here." Too slow but too sweet-and not a question either, your dad reached for the back of your head and brought it to his chest. He planted a kiss over your hair and gently swayed both of your bodies left and right. "Dad's here." His tone might've been gentle, but it still bore a hint of annoyance.
He doesn't mean-he "You don't mean that-you're just saying it because i'm-"
"Noo i do mean it, baby, i do-" he sighed once more. "I'm just tired. That's why i sound like this." He planted a second kiss on your forehead before boaring into your eyes. You dropped your gaze down in the process, too-
"I'm sorry." His thick eyebrows softened back to their normal position. And his bunny teeth appeared. Amused, he hesitated to speak for a few seconds. "You know you're too old for this right?"
You pinched his waist, causing him to jerk back, choking on a chuckle.
You sniffed, throwing embarassed glances his way. "Shut up."
"I'm sorry, honey."
What the hell is wrong with me? Is the first thought that comes to mind. There sure are many more stories to tell about the great John Winchester. But to sum it all up, you are indeed on his fucking side.
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@marvelfanfn2187a113
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WOO WOO, i hope yall made it to the end. See ya next time 🖤🖤🖤🥀🥀🥀
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niki-phoria · 8 months ago
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TO LIVE IN LOVE AND DIE
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pairing: inumaki x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff/comfort word count: 450
notes: mentions of blood, insecure inumaki, maybe ooc inumaki ?? THIS IS ROMANCE I SWEAR, title from pierce the veil - i don't care if you're contagious
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toge is bloody. he can feel it drip down the corners of his lips, staining the hem of his uniform despite his best efforts to wipe it away. it feels sticky in patches as it slowly dries against his skin; a harsh reminder of the life he was born into. 
an ache burns deeply in his throat. his hands still tremble a little as the adrenaline from the battle courses through him. his heart beats wildly in his chest. 
toge is bloody. and you’re smiling.
“love,” you whisper. it’s a soft, sort of sad smile. one that he knows is fake - your lips curl upwards in an attempt to soothe his worries rather than your own. it sends a pang of guilt through his chest. your touch is gentle as you reach up, tentatively resting a hand against his cheek. “i’m glad you’re safe. i missed you.”
toge’s eyes flutter closed as he leans into your hand. he softly sighs, an apology that he can’t say lingering on the tip of his tongue. “mustard leaf,” he mumbles instead before he forces his tired eyes to meet yours once again. 
you’re still smiling. your hand slips down to caress the edges of the marks embedded deep into his skin. toge's eyes flutter shut once again as he pretends that it’s love that’s taking away his ability to speak instead of his cursed energy. that he stumbles over his words around you because your mere presence flusters him and not his overwhelming anxiety that he’ll slip up and somehow curse you. 
toge is pulled back into reality when he feels your lips press against his skin. it’s a chaste kiss, but it’s enough to initiate a deep flush spreading across his skin all the same. he can’t help the way his lips quirk into a soft smile of his own when you lean in once again, this time meeting his lips with your own. 
the kiss tastes of iron and hints of the cherry cough medicine he had downed during the walk back to jujutsu high. it's not the most pleasant feeling, but toge can’t find it within himself to care. he presses his body a little closer to yours, stumbling closer to you. his arms slip around your waist; his head finds a home buried in the crook of your neck when you finally break the kiss.
you softly chuckle, rubbing a hand against his back. toge sighs as he relaxes further into your touch. “come on,” you murmur. “let’s get you cleaned up. i’ll make some tea.”
toge simply hums in response, peppering little kisses against your neck in return, hoping that they say all the words he wants to. 
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woso-dreamzzz · 11 months ago
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Not German
Hardersson x Teen!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You're not German
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Magda doesn't often get phone calls from her manager. Most of the time it's emails or good old-fashioned letters in the mail so when she gets the phone call, she's a little confused.
She's even more confused when the topic turns out to not even be about her but you instead.
"Does y/n hold German citizenship?"
Magda's confused. "Huh? Erm...I don't know, why?"
"Was she born in Germany? Is that where her birth certificate is from?"
Magda laughs slightly. "Which one?" She turns serious though as anxiety swells in her gut. "Yeah, she's got a German birth certificate. And a Swedish one and a Danish one."
She hears her manager swear on the other side of the phone.
"What's wrong?"
"Germany are interested."
"Interested? In what?"
"In having her play for their under-fifteen team."
Magda laughs again. "They can't do that. She's not German."
"Legally, she is. She was born in Germany. She's lived there for more than five years. She was registered in a German school while you and Pernille were at Bayern. Under the eligibility rules, she meets the criteria."
"She's not German," Magda insists.
"It's called jus soli - the principle of birthplace. She was born in Germany. She has citizenship. They can call her up if they want."
Magda swears. "They can't," She insists," I...I won't let them. We've settled. We're good where we are. She's too young to be shipped off across the world to a country that-"
"To a country that's interested in her? A country whose language she's fluent in? A country that she's grown up in?"
Magda grinds her teeth. "A country that shouldn't be trying to poach the future star of Sweden or Denmark. How did they even find out about this anyway? It's sneaky. She's not theirs to have."
"Magda-"
"No! She's barely fourteen! She's not going to Germany!"
"Who's not going to Germany?"
Pernille appears in the doorway, still wrapped up in her coat from where she's just gotten back from dropping you off at training.
"y/n." Magda's still grinding her teeth. "Germany want her."
"For what?"
"To play on their youth team."
It's not often that rage flickers on Pernille's face but this is clearly one of those times.
"She's not eligible to play for them," She says firmly, as if her speaking it into existence will make it happen.
"Apparently she is. Some stupid law about being born in Germany," Magda replies, turning her phone onto speaker.
"They can't have her."
"That's what I said."
"She's too young to go off to Germany by herself."
"I said that too."
"You're missing the point," Magda's manager says," They're inviting her to play for them. It's not them saying she has to or them pretending that they're her only option. Just an option. She's not registered with them so they put out feelers with the Swedish FA who put them in contact with me."
"She's not German," Magda insists again, feeling her throat tighten.
In her mind, Sweden and Denmark were always going to be the only option for you. One day, one (or both) would want to call you up for the senior team. One day, you would choose which of your mothers' footsteps to walk in. One day, you would either be wearing Sweden or Denmark's colours at an international tournament.
She hadn't even considered that your birth and time spent growing up in Germany would mean that you might not end up in either her's or Pernille's team.
"Listen, Germany knows that. They know that but they also know who her parents are, they know she's on track to be one of the best keepers in the world. They know that she speaks the language and she's smart. To them, securing her now could mean she chooses them when she turns eighteen and all three of us know that when she hits eighteen, she's going to be great. It's tactical for them. Sure, they lucked out on her meeting all of the eligibility criteria and, sure, it's completely underhanded and sneaky of them but, ultimately, it's no one's decision but hers. She's not registered with them. If they want her they go through me and they go through you. But they want her and a decision needs to be made."
"A decision has been made," Magda says," The decision is no. They can't have her. She's too young to go to Germany by herself. She's too young to be mixed in with the politics of this all. It's confusing and I won't let it happen."
Pernille's nodding firmly at her side even though Magda's manager can't see them.
"It's...Magda, I understand what you're saying. I do. None of us want her in German colours but...it's not your decision to make. It's hers."
"She's not here right now," Pernille says after a long stretch of silence," She's at practice."
"Talk to her when she comes home," Magda's manager says," Let her make the decision."
●~●~●~●~
You think Momma and Morsa have had an argument when you slip through the front door after having been dropped off back home by your friend's mother.
The vibe at the dinner table is frosty and you glance between your mothers awkwardly.
You're not entirely sure what they could have argued about but it's making your dinner very unenjoyable.
"So," Morsa says finally, putting her cutlery down," What do you think about Germany?"
Momma shoots her a look and your eyes dart between them.
"Er...Are we moving again? Back to Germany?"
Morsa's eyes widen. "Why? Is that something you want? You want to go back to Germany?"
Momma keeps glaring at her and horror swirls in your stomach.
"Are you two breaking up?" You ask quickly, looking between them in disbelief. "Is that why you're asking about Germany? Is one of your moving to Germany and you're sorting out who I'm living with?"
You stand up quickly, your chair clattering to the ground.
"I-I don't want to have this conversation."
"No! No, princesse." Momma reaches out to grab at your wrists, pulling you into her grip. "Me and Morsa aren't breaking up. We're not separating. We're not moving to Germany."
Morsa scoffs.
"We're not moving to Germany, Magda!" Momma snaps before pulling away, her tone softening," I'm sorry for worrying you, princesse, but me and Morsa got a call today."
"A call?"
You're guided back into your seat.
"A call," Morsa says. Her hands are clenching and releasing on top of the table.
"And...This call had nothing to do with you two separating?"
"Nothing at all," Momma assures you," It just threw us."
"And it's about Germany?"
"You were born in Germany," Morsa continues, though her eye twitches like it did all those years ago when Leah Williamson gave you her shirt," And you went to school in Germany, when you were younger. Do you remember?"
"I only went to school once a week," You reply," You home schooled me the rest of the time."
"We did but it was still a German school you went to."
"I guess. What has this got to do with the call, though?"
"My manager called earlier. Germany's interested in inviting you to their under-fifteen team."
"Oh." You sink down in your seat. You don't like where this is going at all. Both of your mothers had played for their youth teams. They were always going on about how much of a good experience it was for them.
You hadn't been called up for either Sweden or Denmark just yet.
You don't know if you really want to go to Germany to play.
"Oh?"
You laugh bitterly. "Germany, huh? I'm...I'm not German."
"Under the law, you are. And under the eligibility criteria, they can ask you to play for them," Momma explains.
"Oh..." You play with your food. "When do I have to leave?"
You don't want to play for Germany at all. You don't want to play for anywhere but Denmark or Sweden. But Momma and Morsa always go on and on about how much it improved them to play in the youth teams. You don't want to let them down.
You don't see Morsa's face fall at your words. "You want to go?"
"Do I have a choice?" You sullenly look at your food. Suddenly, everything tastes like ash in your mouth.
"Of course, princesse," Momma assures you," You always have a choice."
"You won't make me play if I don't want to?"
"Of course not."
"And-And Germany won't force me to play for them either?"
Morsa lays a hand on your arm. "What makes you think that Germany will force you to play for them?"
"Tia Tana said once that she and the Spanish team went on strike and then they all got called up during their next international break."
"This is a youth team, princesse," Morsa says," They have no right to ask that of you and they'll have to get through me, Momma and Sweden and Denmark to make you. You don't have to play for them if you don't want to."
"And you won't get mad? You always say that playing on the youth teams developed your skills."
"We won't get mad," Momma says," You don't want to play for Germany?"
"No."
"Okay. Then you won't play for Germany."
"That simple?"
"That simple."
You breathe out a long breath as your body finally relaxes, all of the tension bleeding out of the room.
Morsa is in a similar position, finally looking relaxed for the first time since you got home.
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michelleleewise · 2 years ago
Text
Bewitched
Pairing: Loki x female reader
Warnings: somnophilia, thigh riding, masturbation, spells gone wrong, "sex-pollen" type fic, swearing, dirty talk, loki speaking Norwegian, swearing, mildly explicit smut, unprotected sex, penatration (p in v), fluffy ending.
Summary: you borrowed a book from Loki's personal library, and weren't prepared for the consequences.....
A/n-graphics by @harlequin-hangout. This story inspired by my dear @mochie85 and her amazing story "Pheromones". Thank you so much my dear for all your help and support!! This story absolutely got away from me, it's definitely longer so be prepared 💚💚
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You walked into Loki's room, slowly closing the door behind you making your way to his overly large book case. He had been away on a mission for the last week, but told you to feel free to borrow whatever you wished. Carefully putting back the ones you had borrowed you browsed his large collection. Running your fingers along the spines you couldn't help smile, knowing you were one of the only ones, if not the only one allowed in his room, let alone allowed to borrow his books.
Over the last year you had grown close to the God, being born with powers you didn't understand, let alone control had made your life burdensome. You didn't have many friends, your family had basically disowned you, dropping you at an orphanage. Apparently you were too unpredictable for them to handle. But Loki had taken you under his wing, helped you understand your abilities, even training you to control them. On more then one occasion telling you how proud he was of you....calling you his "little witch" making your heart flutter.
You wandered over to his personal books, ones he had been able to save and being back with him when they had to leave Asgard and come to earth. You pulled out one of the larger volumes, Your fingers running over the golden runes inscribed on the cover. Tucking it under your arm remembering you could translate it with your phone you walked back towards the door, glancing around seeing his daggers displayed on the wall, his desk neatly organized not a thing out of place. A warm feeling running over you picturing him laying on the couch reading...sitting at the desk writing some long letter, his long slender fingers wrapped around his pen.
A shudder running through you thinking about those fingers gliding aross your skin, gently wrapping around your throat as he took what he wanted from you, claiming you for his. You shook the images out of your head remembering he was your friend, your mentor, your teacher. He would never see you as you saw him. Sighing you hugged the book to your chest, grabbing the knob turning the lights off as you closed his door, smiling as you made your way back to your room excited to see what knowledge the book contained.
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"AGAIN!" Loki yelled, throwing another green blast at you, deflecting it just in time as another came out of nowhere knocking you off your feet. You laid on your back trying to catch your breath when he came over looking down at you "have you not kept up your training in my absence?" He asked crossing his arms "y...yes...i...have." You panted grabbing your chest "then you would not be so easy to defeat. On your feet, we are going again." He said sternly walking out of your vision. You sat up watching him walk to the other side of the room, he looked powerful, regal, you would give him the world if you could. "I said up...now!" He yelled making you jump.
You got to your feet, bringing your hands up holding them out emitting a purple glow, watching his glow green. "This time you shall have no warning, you must react on instinct y/n." He said as you nodded, planting your feet in a defensive stance, watching him slowly stalk around you. Your anxiety rose as your eyes followed him, traveling between his hands and his face seeing him smirk. You saw something in your peripheral, turning slightly to see what it was you were hit in the chest hard by Loki's seidr, once again landing on your back. "Y/n where are you? You are not focusing!" He yelled as you sat up rubbing your chest.
"Loki, I'm only....ow human. What do you...." you were cut off as he drug you up to your feet, gripping your shoulders "you are not merely human y/n, your are...more." He said clenching his jaw "and I expect more from you then what you are giving me." He snapped as you looked to the floor "i..I'm sorry, it's just.." you started "don't be sorry, be better. How am i to be sure you will be alright out there hmm?" He asked as you looked back up at him, the green of his eyes seeming to glow "how will I know...." he started, feeling his thumb rubbing your arm, his eyes shooting to your lips and back. "Loki..." you whispered when he dropped his hands "I expect better next session." He said storming towards the door, leaving you alone with your wounded pride.
You made it back to your room, the look of disappointment on Loki's face was burned into your mind as you walked to the bathroom. You knew when he came back from missions he was like this. Harder, firmer, more demanding, but it didn't hurt any less seeing that look. "I'll never be good enough." You sighed, turning the shower on you slipped your training clothes off, throwing them in the corner as you stepped into the shower, the hot water making you wince as it hit your sore muscles. You wanted to be better, to impress him but it seemed to be a losing battle. You sighed, wrapping a towel around you you walked into your bedroom. Putting on a tank top and some sleep shorts you walked into the living room.
Flopping down on the couch you saw Loki's book on the coffee table. You hadn't had a chance to look at it yet with everything that had been going on, but now would be as good a time as any. You got up, grabbing your phone and a piece of paper and pen you sat back down, opening the book to a random page seeing the runes running along one side, a picture of a heart engulphed in flames on the other. You slid to the floor, opening your phone you went down the page finding the word for each rune writing down the translation, smiling as you reached the end. "Ok, now let's see what your saying." You said to yourself leaning back.
Hearts Desire
Suns shine, and moons shimmer,
Love and passion meet in shadow,
The fire burns, the flames grow higher,
The body yearns, the hunger grows,
Only sated by your hearts desire...
As you recited the last line you saw the book begin to glow on the table, the runes shimmering with a gold light on the page before suddenly stopping. "What the..." you said to yourself, running your fingers across the page feeling a shock in your fingers making you pull your hand back. "Ooook, I think that's enough reading for tonight." You said, carefully closing the book you put you phone down as you stood up feeling light headed. "Time for bed." You said Turning the lights off you climbed under the covers. Knowing you had another training session with Loki tomorrow you closed your eyes, willing sleep to take you.
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You rolled over, groaning as the blankets stuck to your damp skin. Looking at the clock seeing it was just past midnight you sighed. You put your hand on your forehead wiping the sweat away "why is it so hot in here?" You breathed, throwing the covers off you went to stand feeling your knees try to buckle. "I better not be getting sick" you said to yourself slowly making your way to the thermostat seeing it was still set at a cool sixty degrees. "What the hell." You turned on the ac, going back to bed you layed down, the cool sheets making you sigh as you closed your eyes trying to go back to sleep.
Images flashed in your mind. Long dark hair...deep green eyes that seemed to penatrate your soul...long fingers running up your thighs, moving up to slowly caress your clit..."Come to me darling...I need you." You heard furrowing your eyebrows feeling the fingers slide down towards your entrance. "Come....now!" The voice growled as the fingers pushed inside you waking you with a gasp. You shot up, looking around into the dark room seeing you were alone "Holy hell." You panted rubbing your eyes. You scooted forward feeling the wetness between your legs, your body covered in a sheen of sweat "maybe a shower will help." You sighed, scooting off the bed, the friction of your shorts against your core making moan as you braced the wall. "That must have been some dream." You thought making your way to the bathroom.
You turned on the cold water, stepping inside you let out a deep breath. You felt like your were burning from the inside out. You closed your eyes standing under the spray when the images returned. You hand slowly sliding down between your thighs, opening yourself up as you saw Loki...standing before you In nothing but his leather pants, slowly stalking towards you with a hunger in his eyes "come to me pet...I must have you." He purred, reaching out his large hand he wrapped it around your throat, his eyes boring into you. You worked your fingers through your folds, circling your clit feeling a shiver run through you as he leaned down, feeling his breath on your neck "I will give you pleasure as you have never known...all you must do is...come." He said sternly.
"L..loki..." you moaned, feeling your orgasm wash over you, pressing your thighs together at the feeling. You opened your eyes seeing the white tile wall "god...if only." You panted. You finished washing up, wrapping a towel around you you grabbed another tank top and clean shorts you sat on the bed, the pressure on your core making you moan. "What is happening?" You said to yourself shaking your head. You had dreamt of Loki before...numerous times but usually a little self care would sate your lust until the next dream, but now it only seemed to make things worse. You slipped your clothes on, feeling your body begin to heat up again, worse then before. "A...am I dying?" You said to yourself, gripping the side of the bed goaning as another wave of pleasure rolled over you.
Your eyes shot open remembering the book, the letters glowing as you read from it. "Oh shit...I cursed myself." You said rubbing your temples feeling sweat beading on your skin. "L...loki! I need to talk to loki, he'll...ahhh...know what to do." You moaned, slowly standing up feeling another wave push through you. Looking over seeing it was past two in the morning. "Well, I hope he's awake." You sighed, making your way to the door, nails digging into the handle as a another wave washed over you, your core feeling like it's om fire "I....ahh....better hurry." You moaned, quickly making your way to the elevator you pressed the button hard as the next wave hit you making you knees buckle. "Aahh fuck.." you moaned gripping the wall.
You made it to his floor, slowly walking out of the elevator you braced yourself on the wall, another hit you hard bringing you to your knees. "Holy shit..." you panted, standing up you felt the wetness between your thighs soaking your shorts. "L..loki..." you moaned making it to his door. You pressed your forehead to it, sighing as the cold wood met your hot skin. "Loki..." you breathed, knocking to be met with silence. Your thighs clenched together as you tried to knock again, still not getting a response you gripped the handle, turning it finding it unlocked. "Oh thank God." You sighed slowly pushing the door open.
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You stepped inside, quietly closing the door looking around the dark room. Your body shivered as the scent of pine and sandalwood washed over you. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts "Lo..." you started, wincing feeling the skin under your ear burn, putting your hand over it feeling your skin hot to the touch. "Fuck.." you whispered looking back across the room, seeing the bedroom door slightly ajar. You walked towards it, you mind getting hazier the closer you got. "L..loki..." you whispered, slowly pushing the door open, the moonlight streaming through the window giving the room a soft glow when your eyes met his sleeping form, biting your lip seeing the sheet pooled around his hips, revealing his bare chest.
You opened your mouth trying to say his name, a moan coming out in its place as you gripped the door knob, leaning over as your head swam. Squeezing your thighs together you stood up, your vision hazy as you walked towards the bed, slowly making your way across the bed, running your fingers along the soft sheets looking down at him. You stood at the side of the large bed, his long hair splayed across the pillow making your hand twitch, you needed to touch it...now. You leaned down, slowly sliding back the sheets hearing him groan lightly as you climbed in next to him, carefully scooting towards him pressing your front to his side hearing him sigh.
You leaned up on your elbow, reaching your hand up you gently moved his hair exposing his long neck, smiling seeing a small freckle under his ear. You leaned down pressing a gentle kiss to it, his skin warm on your lips hearing him groan. You continued peppering small kisses to his neck as your hand slowly slid across his stomach, moaning as your fingers found the light patch of hair that traveled down. flattening your palm your hand slid down, feeling his muscles tense as your fingers grazed his adonis belt. "Loki.." you whispered against his skin as you went lower, your fingers running through the tuft of hair just above what you wanted most. "Y/n.." he moaned softly, freezing hearing him say your name, looking up seeing his eyes still closed.
Was he dreaming about you..you thought as your lips pressed back to his skin feeling his head turn slightly. Your pressed your thigh over his as your hand found what it was searching for, smiling feeling him hard as you slowly wrapped your fingers around him, groaning as you realized you couldn't get them all the way around him. "Mmm..god..." you moaned into his neck as you slowly moved your hand up and down, stoking him as you teeth grazed his skin. You groaned feeling him twitch in your hand as his hips rocked upwards meeting your strokes. "Mmm... I need you so bad." You whispered into his ear hearing his breath hitch.
You slowly rocked your hips against his thigh in rhythm with your hand. Tightening your grip you stoked him harder, your lips traveling to his collar bone as you squeezed your thigh against him, the friction on your clit sending electricity through you. "Y...y/n..." he groaned as your teeth grazed his collar bone. "Loki..." you breathed into his skin feeling him stiffen "w...what are you...ahhh...." he hissed grabbing your wrist stopping your movements. You looked up at him, his eyes wide as he stared at you "i...I need to feel you." You panted, releasing your grip on him you threw your leg over him, straddling his hips.
"Wait...y/n..." he trailed off trying to grab your hands as you tried to shift the sheet off of him. "P..please loki i...i need you." You panted, lifting your hips trying to get the sheet out from under you. "Y/n...stop this at once." He demanded as you looked into his eyes, a shudder running through you "i..I cant.." you whispered, leaning back you reached for the sheets again "Y/n...wait..." he said as you felt another wave slam into you, bracing yourself on his chest you rocked your hips against his erection, moaning at the friction when he suddenly bucked his hips, flipping you onto your back as he settled over you, pinning your wrists above your head in one large hand. He took in your appearance, seeing the sweat beading on your skin, your skin like fire under his hands. "What are you doing y/n?" He asked sternly as you dug your nails into your palm "i..need you." You whispered.
"You are not yourself, What did you do?" Loki asked sternly eyeing you. "Nothing! I just....please...." you pleaded, bringing your hips up as he pushed them back down with his other hand. "Y/n, I will not ask again, what..." he started as his eyes went to your neck, reaching up he grabbed your chin turning your head "all I did was borrow a few books while you were gone." You said shakely, feeling sweat pooling on your skin as his eyes met yours again "which books?" He asked still gripping your chin. "I..I don't know i..." you started "Dammit woman, which ones did you take?" He yelled making you shiver "i..I don't know the title...I just t..translated a page." You said shakely feeling your eyes burn. "P..please loki...I feel like I'm dying." You said feeling a tear escape your eye, traveling to your hair as he turned your head back.
He released your chin, his fingers ghosted over the skin of your neck, moaning when he touched where it burned the most, your thighs gripping his sides feeling another wave of arousal wash over you, your walls clenching around nothing. "Hearts desire..." he whispered splaying his large hand against your neck. "It appears you borrowed one of my spell books and...enchanted yourself." He said as his eyes met yours again. "A..m i...am I dying?" You whimpered feeling another tear fall as he wiped it away with his thumb "no my dear, you are not dying, not yet anyway" He said "but, your condition will worsen until you body becomes too hot and starts to shut down." He said feeling your forehead "how long ago did this happen?" He asked "a..a few hours or so." You said as he nodded. "H..how do I make it s..stop?" You asked shakely as he looked down "the only way to cure Hearts Desire is to become one with the one you...love." he whispered as your eyes widened.
A sob escaped you as he released your hands, leaning back slightly watching you "i...im s...sorry loki, I...I didn't want you to find out like this, or ever. i..." you cried, covering your face with your hands "I'm s...sorry." you said again as you shifted, trying to get out from under him when he grabbed your hips. "Where are you going?" He asked making you look at him "i...I've ruined everything with my stupidity and...." you rambled, feeling his finger prsss to your lips, it taking all your will power not to wrap your lips around it. "You need to calm down darling, your getting warmer." He said shifting closer to you "did you not hear me, your condition will worsen." He said sternly "i am going to help you." He said cupping your cheek "n..no! You don't have to do that, i..I'll just..." you trailed off "pleasure yourself? It will only make it worse." He said, gripping the sheets as you felt another roll through you, your nerve endings igniting making you whimper.
"Those sounds...you have no idea what you do to me my little witch." He groaned, pressing his hips to yours, feeling his erection rub against your clit "g..god....loki...." you moaned wrapping your arms around his back. "Let me take care of you." He whispered, leaning down pressing a kiss to your neck making your hips jerk. "I can smell you..." he groaned, rocking his hips into you as he leaned back, hooking his fingers under the band of your shorts, slowly sliding them down your legs "no panties hmm?" He purred, tossing them across the room. "I...they were dirty." You stuttered as he lowered himself back between your spread legs. "Oh, im sure they were my little vixen." He smiled, leaning down pressing a kiss to your collar bone.
You moaned feeling his hand slide up your thigh, slipping between you as his teeth grazed the top of your breast "mmm....you are soaking darling." He said, his long fingers gliding through your folds making you arch up into him. "P...please Loki...." you panted, screwing your eyes shut. You felt him shift, pulling the sheet from between you as his cock pressing into your thigh, precum smearing across your skin as he lined himself at your entrance "open those eyes for me, I want to see you as I take you." He growled. You opened your eyes, looking down seeing his cock begin to push into you. "Look at me." He said, as your eyes shot up to his "så vakker.." he whispered, pressing his hips forward, your nails digging into his back as he inched inside you, stretching you to your limit.
"Norns! Your so...warm, so...aahhh tight." He groaned, pressing his forehead to yours as he jerked his hips forward, knocking the wind out of you as he bottomed out. "Holy...fuck..." you panted, spreading your legs further apart as he pulled out to his tip, thrusting back in. You felt your body tingle as he slowly rocked in and out, keeping his pace slow. "L..loki....harder....fuck me....harder." you growled, sliding your hands down to his ass pulling him into you. "A...as you...mmm...wish." He growled, pulling out as he slammed into you, jolting you up the bed "oh fuck...yes..." you yelled, burying your face in his neck biting the skin under his ear hearing him growl.
"F...fuck....I can feel you...ahh squeezing me darling." He panted, snapping his hips hard, his pelvic bone hitting your clit with each thrust making your cry out. "I..I'm gonna..." you breathed, digging your nails into his cheeks as he pushed you up the bed. "Mm...min lille heks...ahhh...hvor jeg har lengtet etter deg." He said, slipping into his native tongue making you shudder. "kom for meg ... melk kuken min." He growled, slamming into you hard, your head hitting the headboard as your orgasm flooded over you, your walls clenching hard around him "c..come with me loki...fuck...let me feel you." You panted, feeling him twitch inside you as his hips met yours, holding himself in you as he spilled deep inside you. "Fuck...y/n J...Jeg elsker deg." He panted, dropping his head to your shoulder, his warm breath fanning against your skin.
He slowly pulled out, shifting to lay next to you as you stared at the ceiling. You pulled the sheet up covering yourself feeling your skin start to cool off, your mind clearing as you glanced over, seeing his eyes closed. You looked back to the ceiling, a knot forming in your stomach as you thought about what just happened. "Your thinking too loudly." He said making you look over at him, your eyes meeting his. "Im...I'm sorry Loki, about all of this." You said, pulling the sheet back starting to get up when you felt his hand on your shoulder pushing you back down as he leaned up on his elbow looking down at you
He reached up feeling your forehead smiling "how are you feeling my dear?" He asked tucking your hair behind your ear "b..better." you said looking down. "Is it true?" He asked, his eyes staring into you "umm..i...well you see..." you tried, looking back to the ceiling, feeling his fingers genlty grab your chin making you look at him. "Yes loki, it's true." You said gripping the sheet. He leaned down gently pressing his lips to yours, his tongue slowly sliding across your bottom lip. A warmth filled you, your toes curling feeling his tongue gently pass your lips, cupping your cheek as his tongue tangled with yours, his lips impossibly soft against your own as he claimed your mouth, biting your lip as he pulled back looking at. "Be mine y/n." He breathed, pressing his forehead to yours "i..what?" You asked tilting your head up "I have wanted you for so long, i would like to court you." He said smiling "y..yes Loki, I would like that very much." You smiled back as he pulled you towards him, laying on his back guiding your head to his shoulder "get some rest my dear, we can talk more tomorrow." He said running his fingers through your hair as you wrapped your arm around his middle "and y/n...no more books." He said making you laugh "ok, no more books." You agreed, closing your eyes slipping off to sleep listening to the steady beat of his heart....
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Translations-
hvor jeg har lengtet etter deg-how i have longed for you
min lille heks-my little witch
Jeg elsker deg-i love you
kom for meg ... melk kuken min-come for me...milk my cock
så vakker-so beautiful
@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @springdandelixn @kinky-faerie @xorpsbane @midnights-ramblings @simping-for-marvel @holdmytesseract @kkdvkyya @slpnbty2001 @lokixryss @vane28282 @violethaze @coldnique @aniar4wniak @nate-ate-hate @buttercupcookies-blog @brattymum96 @dukes2581 @your-taste-on-my-lips @mybaby @blog-the-lilly @irishhappiness @sinsandguilt @filthyhiddles @lovebyloki @kikster606 @javagirl328 @misunderstoodself @highkeysimpingforloki @eleniblue @commanding-officer @athalialaufeyson @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokiandbuckysdoll @loopsisloops @joyful-enchantress @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @high-functioning-lokipath @kittiowolf210 @slytherclaw1227 @joyfullymassivewhispers @wolfsmom1 @libbybeaz @lokikissesmyforehead @goblingirlsarah @thomase1
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hana-no-seiiki · 9 months ago
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cat villain reader my beloved. I'm so obsessed with it already. Please tell us more.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA THEY ASKED FOR IT SO YOU CANT BLAME ME NOW F-
@sophiethewitch1 hi here’s your daily schizophrenic voice giving you even more mental illness
another short one cause im still lazy asf
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I feel like a broken record just playing different flavors of the same oc/reader on my blog with the batfam i swear
tim is the only batfam member who figured out your identity prior to your own snooping
mostly because bruce’s identity was already aired out to your by selina and damian being his blood born son + appearing out of nowhere was a given.
as such it provided a lot of interesting scenarios
such as that one week where you were extremely active in your heists. like more so than the usual which was already a lot.
of course, you always tried to keep a sense of mystery as your cat villain self so asking you as robin wouldn’t have worked
so tim decided to approach you in class ( you were his senior or maybe even a young, fresh out of uni prof) and ask you why you seemed so…different or frantic lately
“oh. am i?” tim narrowed his eyes. it was so you to answer with another question, even as a civilian.
“sorry, i’m just really excited about this new limited edition robin figure of the new guy in the suit and—“
you proceeded to go on a ramble about your headcannons of the dude, saying how different and/or similar he was to robins of the past and ofc how much you admired him
this leads to his eventual downward spiral into depravation and horny
oh and unrelated to the boys, my headcannons for reader’s powers are as follows (mostly inspired from cat related cartoon characters)
invisibility/teleportation (from kitty chesire)
and cataclysm (from chat noir)
okay back to the boys
you and jason definitely had the biggest enemies to lovers arc out of everyone
like next to dick and damian, jason and you definitely hated each other’s guts
at that time you were dating dick and wanted him to stay as robin. pretty much in denial and anger, which led to you lashing out on jason.
at that time you still had hope for batman’s parenting skills and wanted jason to not take the opportunity he was given for granted
eventually you two found a lot in common and after a lot of deliberating and losing your mind with thoughts of “what ifs” and “but what about”s you broke it off with dick to pursue him
only to find out that jason was killed
people that knew you say you moved on pretty quickly. as if he was no more than a passing thought in your pretty little head.
but people like selina knew that out of everyone on this planet, the incident broke you the most
turning you into this near-empty husk, an imitation of what you were like
only filled with fear and anxiety
you would hurt people more, be more reckless
and boy do these men like playing savior to the fallen like you.
EXTRA:
i absolutely believe that as soon as you found out red hood was jason you two boned. like literally on whatever street/alleyway/battle you guys were in
emotions were high
and you two definitely cried the whole time im not sorry-
also you two always quote pride and prejudice lines at eachother
went from rabid dog that bit you several times to your goodest boy fr fr
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chvoswxtch · 1 month ago
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part two: the secret
[series masterlist] | [part one] | [part three]
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pairing: billy russo x fem!reader
summary: if the police can't help, who can you turn to?
warnings: swearing, heavy angst, mentions of murder, conversation about past domestic abuse, mentions of alcohol, billy once again being a cocky lil shit
word count: 3.8k
a/n: y'all never fail to blow me away with how lovely & kind y'all are. i'm so happy you're all enjoying spooky slutty season so far. it's getting heavier in this chapter, but we're one step closer to the goods. ;) as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!
Annie was looking at you in a mixture of concern and apprehension. When she heard your scream piercing through the silence of the apartment, she’d immediately rushed into your bedroom, where she’d found you on your knees on the floor, hyperventilating as panicked tears rushed down your cheeks. She had desperately begged you to tell her what happened, but you couldn’t speak through your choked sobs. You just kept pointing to your phone that was face down on the hardwood, but when she picked it up, she didn’t see anything except your lock screen.
For the past twenty minutes, you’d been sitting on the edge of your bed, almost completely catatonic. It felt as though your body had gone into shock and just completely shut down. Your brain seemed to slip into a mental panic room, locking itself away behind steel soundproof walls those traumatic memories couldn’t break through. But you knew you couldn’t stay there, as badly as you wanted to. You had to come out, and you had to come clean.
Annie slowly reached out and placed her hand on top of one of yours that was in your lap, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Honey, I need you to tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.”
A fresh wave of helplessness built up along your bottom lash line, and your voice was weakened with defeat when you finally spoke.
“He found me.”
Annie tilted her head to the side slightly as she looked at you, a crease of confusion forming between her dark brows.
“Who found you Y/N?”
Closing your eyes, stray tears slipped down your damp cheeks. You had hoped this day would never come. The fear of your past catching up to you had been in the back of your mind for the last three years, but you never thought it would rear its ugly head in such a horrific way. Letting out a shaky breath, you opened your glossy eyes and turned to look at Annie in despondency.
“I need to tell you something.”
You hadn’t told a soul the truth about who you were since you moved to New York. No one here knew that you’d come here to completely start over with a brand new identity. No one knew what you had run from. You thought it was safer that way. 
Annie looked at you warily, her dark brown eyes searching your own as she waited for you to speak.
“My real name is Cassia. I’m not from New York, I was born in California. I grew up there. I…I do have a family. I lied about that. But I haven’t seen or spoken to them in three years.”
“I don’t understand-”
“I had a boyfriend. He-”
Closing your eyes, you felt your anxiety start to crest again. For the past three years, you tried so hard to push it out of your head. You told yourself that was someone else, that those memories belonged to someone else. You weren’t her anymore. That girl…she was gone. You’d burned every trace of her and rose from the ashes someone new. Those painful memories, those emotional scars, you’d buried them in the deepest, darkest part of your mind, but they wouldn’t stay dead.
Annie’s puzzlement broke apart into sympathy as she heard the grief in your voice. She could see it in your eyes, the reason behind your painful secret. She gave your hand a light and reassuring squeeze, speaking in a gentle voice.
“Was he…?”
Swallowing the lump that had lodged in your throat, you nodded slowly.
“Yeah.”
Letting out a shuddering breath, a few more tears slipped down your face as you ripped open your own wounds that had never seemed to heal, letting all the lingering shame and sorrow bleed out.
“I should’ve left the first time it happened. I knew it then. I just…I didn’t want to believe it had happened. I didn’t want to believe that I was like those other women…that I was like my mother. I knew what an angry man looked like. I knew how he spoke, and how he acted, and what his footsteps sounded like. I told myself that was never going to be me, you know? It wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I…I knew better. I watched my mom go through so many of them, I knew what the signs looked like, and I just…I missed them somehow…and then I ignored it. I made excuses, I tried so hard to convince myself…that it was different…that I was different.”
You never wanted to be a victim, and you never thought you would be. For the first nine months, Roman had been an almost perfect boyfriend. He was sweet, and funny, and he always looked at you like you were the only person in the room, even from the beginning. He always knew exactly what to say, and what to do, and you had thought you’d found someone that just…understood you, in a way no one else ever had. He was just so incredibly goddamn charming.
But most psychopaths are.
He’d lured you into a false sense of security, manipulated you into letting your guard down, and you’d foolishly gifted him your trust. He didn’t just break that, he broke you.
Roman’s apologies were always so sincere, and you got trapped in the cycle. He would confess to his problems, promise to get help and stop drinking, and swore things would change. And it would, for a while. The calm before the storm was so peaceful, you couldn’t see the ominous clouds darkening over your head. He swore that he loved you, but his version of love was controlling and manipulative, and it was intense. It became obsessive and violent, and his volatile temper left your heart and spirit maimed and your body bruised. He said that he loved hard, but he hit harder. 
The night you finally decided to leave him was the night that permanently altered everything. It didn’t just change your life, it changed you.
“The last time I saw him, he almost killed me. Our neighbors had heard me screaming. They were the ones that called the police. I had already blacked out when they arrived. I woke up in the hospital with a concussion and a crushed windpipe. And you know what’s fucking crazy? He only did two months in jail, because it was his ‘first offense’.”
A bitter and dry laugh left your lips that sounded more like a scoff. You’d been too terrified to feel anger back then. At that time, all you could feel was immense relief that he was locked away somewhere that he couldn’t get to you. But now, anger was all that you felt. The more you thought about the situation, the more white hot searing rage had the blood in your veins sizzling. 
“I got a restraining order, but it didn’t stop him. The only reason I was even able to get it was because the cops walked in on him choking me to death. As soon as he got out of jail, he was back. And he didn’t just threaten me, he threatened everyone around me. I was scared. I didn’t know what else to do, so I ran. I ran as far away as I could get. I changed my name, I changed everything about myself, and I started over. I had to cut everyone out from my old life in Woodsboro, to keep them safe.”
Three years ago, you’d just vanished. The terror he instilled in your bones had run deep into the marrow. You couldn’t even say goodbye to anyone. All you’d been able to part with was a hastily written note containing a heartfelt apology to your mother, and you’d fled to sanctuary across the country. New York was home to millions of people, and you thought you’d be safe as a ghost in the bustling streets. You thought you could be invisible.
“I just…I don’t even know how he found me. I’ve been careful, I haven’t told anyone about this. I just…I don’t understand. And now Adam’s dead-”
“Wait, you think he killed Adam?”
“He told me he did. He was the one who called me on the phone. I know it was him. His voice was different…but he said my name, Annie. My real name.”
Annie was staring at you in a mixture of shock, fear, and a hint of pity. You hated that look. You hated being on the receiving end of it. And you hated that you were now a dangerous burden, a liability to her otherwise peaceful life. If you weren’t safe, that meant she wasn’t safe, and you could see in her eyes that she knew that. As she glanced down at your phone, you could see her swallow thickly. 
“We need to go to the police.”
»»———  ———««
“What do you mean you can’t do anything? Did you hear any of what I just said?”
“Miss Y/L/N, the restraining order is in California, and it’s not under your current name.”
Detective Craven met your incredulous gaze with an expression of pity. His partner, however, did not share his condolences.
“Why didn’t you mention this two days ago?”
Turning your attention to Detective Williamson, the outrage you felt at his underlying accusation was clear on your face and in your sharp tone.
“Because it’s not your fucking business. You told me Adam got mugged-”
“We theorized it was a robbery gone wrong-”
“Theorized, confirmed, what fucking difference does it make? Those were your words. You said that’s what happened, so I had no reason to think it was connected to my psychotic ex boyfriend, who now not only knows where I am, but fucking called me to confess to murdering Adam. And now, you’re telling me you can’t do a goddamn thing about it because of, what? Red fucking tape?”
Detective Craven raised both of his worn hands in a placating gesture as he looked between you and his partner.
“Okay, okay. Let’s just take it down a notch.”
He shot his partner a warning glare, and Detective Williamson held his hands up in a show of surrender as he let out an irritated exhale through his nose. Turning his attention back to you, Detective Craven placed his hands on his hips.
“Miss Y/L/N, listen to me. I don’t want you to think we’re not taking this seriously, alright? Unfortunately, our hands are tied though. We don’t have any evidence from the crime scene, and the call on your phone came from an unknown number. We don’t have anything concrete to link this to Roman Walker.”
Just hearing his name out loud for the first time in three years was enough to make you feel like someone had just pressed the steel tip of a cold blade to the back of your neck. Detective Craven could see the raw paranoia in your eyes and the way you physically reacted to Roman’s name. Letting out a deep sigh, he reached out and placed both of his hands on your shoulders and spoke in a calming voice.
“Y/N, you did the right thing coming to us. You gave us a suspect with a motive, that gives us a lot to work with now, alright? Just because we don’t have any evidence right now doesn’t mean we won’t find any. Now we know who we’re potentially looking for, and that’s a step in the right direction. So please, trust me when I say that I will do everything I can to keep you safe. Until then, please just be careful.”
You rubbed both of your palms down your face in a stressful manner, a deep exhale of frustration blowing through your flared nostrils. Throwing your hands up in exasperation, they both dropped to your sides with a light smack against your jeans as your body physically deflated.
“So what am I supposed to do? Wait for another threatening phone call? Another person near me to get killed?”
“Just take some precautions. Be vigilant, don’t go anywhere alone, maybe look into a security system in the meantime.”
A light scoff left your lips at his suggestions and you shook your head in complete disbelief. As you stormed out of Detective Craven’s office, you slammed the door shut behind you with a little more force than necessary at your exit. Annie quickly jumped up from where she’d been sitting outside, looking at you warily.
“What did they say?”
“To go fuck myself, essentially.”
Meeting Annie’s disapproving look, you sighed and placed one of your hands on your hip while your other ran through your hair stressfully.
“There’s no evidence, they can’t trace an unknown call, and the restraining order isn’t in my name or in this state.”
“You’re fucking kidding me. So that’s it?”
“Yeah, their advice was pretty much to do everything I already do as a woman just existing.”
Annie let out a frustrated exhale of her own, glaring at the door of the detective’s office before brushing her golden blonde hair away from her shoulder and crossing her arms over her chest.
“No, fuck that. We’re gonna figure something out.”
In the midst of your outrage at the situation, one of Detective Craven’s suggestions suddenly stood out in your head.
“Maybe look into a security system in the meantime.”
You didn’t know anything about security or even where to start, but you knew someone who did.
“Actually, I think I know who can help.”
»»———  ———««
“You know, four months is a hell of a long time to make a guy wait for a second date.”
Glancing up from your drink, you watched as Billy took a seat at the bar next to you, flashing you his signature charming smirk. Rolling your eyes, you fought to contain your amusement as you lifted the beer bottle to your lips.
“That was not a date, and this isn’t one either.”
Billy let out a deep chuckle, signaling the bartender over with a wave of his hand.
“Hey, you called me. And, you brought me back to the place we first met. That’s pretty romantic, even if this is a shitty dive bar. ”
Billy turned on the bar stool to face you, a glint of mischief in his dark brown eyes as the edge of his lips curled into a smirk. Giving him a quick once over, you noticed he was dressed a lot more casually. You almost swore it was the exact same outfit he’d worn the night you met him.
“I thought someone as high maintenance as you would be a lot harder to please.”
Shaking his head at your quip, Billy grinned as he brought his own beer to his lips.
“Careful, you keep sweet talkin’ me like that, I might think you actually like me.”
“Oh well we can’t have that.”
Your lips were spread in a faint teasing smirk as you took another sip of your beer. Billy set the bottle down on the bar, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. He eyed you curiously as he gave you his full attention.
“Alright, so if this isn’t a date, what is it then?”
Your eyes flickered towards Billy’s before glancing down at the green glass bottle in your hand. The edge of the gold label was peeling on the top right corner, and you gently smoothed it down with your thumb, spreading a drop of condensation over the cold glass.
“What kind of security does Anvil do? I mean, I know it’s mostly military stuff, but…what about private protection for civilians?”
Billy’s amusement quickly faded into a more serious expression at your question. He didn’t miss the way your voice had become quieter, no trace of your usual dry sarcasm or sharp wit. He cocked his head to the side slightly, noticing that you wouldn’t look at him.
“What’s going on, Y/N?”
“I was just curious-”
“C’mon, sweetheart. You’ve never spared my feelin’s before, don’t start now. Talk to me.”
Turning your head to look at Billy reluctantly, you got a glimpse of the Marine that lingered dormant within him, hidden beneath the designer clothes and CEO title. Serious Billy was a completely different Billy. The intensity of his stare was almost unsettling. You weren’t sure what to do with this version of him. A part of you secretly longed for the cocky smartass side in this moment, wishing he’d slip another flirty quip into the conversation to bring levity to the heaviness settling in your chest.
He had a point though, you’d always been blunt with him, and if he was going to help you, you were going to have to tell him everything.
Glancing down at the bottle in your hands again, you let out a deep sigh of resignation. At least with Billy, you didn’t have to pull your punches. You didn’t have to dance around your words and take caution with how you laid this all out, not like you had to with Annie. Lifting your head, you turned to look at him again.
“No bullshit?”
Billy gave you a faint nod of his head, confirming that he wanted nothing but the raw, honest truth.
“No bullshit.”
Waving over the bartender, you ordered two double shots of tequila. You needed a little liquid courage to ease your nerves, and to ease the shake of anxiety in your voice. Billy watched you in curiosity tinged with concern as you downed the first with unnerving ease and set the empty shot glass down on the bar before turning to look at him again. The burn flowing down your throat and into the pit of your stomach like molten lava was a welcome distraction from the chilled fear that made your hands tremble. 
“Alright. Adam was murdered by my ex boyfriend, who’s the sole reason I moved across the country three years ago and changed my whole identity. He called me last night and confessed, but the police can’t do anything, because apparently they can’t trace an unknown call. Oh, and they can’t do anything about my obsessive stalker turned murderer ex boyfriend, because New York’s finest doesn’t have any fucking evidence, and my restraining order, which only ever seemed to be a really goddamn expensive piece of paper that meant nothing, can’t be enforced because we’re not in California, and it’s filed under my real name. So basically, I’m fucked.”
Downing the second shot, your face scrunched slightly as the clear alcohol started to burn in your lower stomach, the heat rising to flush in your cheeks. It made you feel a little lighter, melting that solid block of terror that had been weighing you down. Setting the glass down harshly on the bar, you licked the remaining tequila off your lips and turned to look at Billy, arching one of your brows.
“Questions? Comments? Concerns? More tequila?”
Billy’s dark brows rose slightly up his forehead as he stared at you silently for a moment. Whatever he was thinking or feeling, you couldn’t tell. 
“So, just to…make sure we’re on the same page here…you have a psychotic ex that forced you to move across the country, change your name, and he’s the reason the guy you went out with is dead. And you think you’re next.”
Blinking a few times, you opened your mouth to correct him, but there was nothing to correct. 
“That’s…a gross oversimplification, but yes.”
Taking a swig of your beer, your dark brows furrowed slightly as you set it back down and glanced at him with a faint scowl.
“I didn’t say I thought I was next though, asshole.”
“Oh, so the rant about NYPD being unhelpful and askin’ me about security for civilians is just small talk, then?”
Billy arched one of his dark brows, and the barely concealed sass in his voice made you want to slap him. As if sensing your thoughts, Billy let out a deep exhale through his nose as he regarded you with a more sympathetic expression.
“C’mon sweetheart. We agreed, no bullshit. You’re scared, and you got every reason to be. You need help, and you ain’t gettin’ it from the police.”
You had expected Billy to be far more smug about this. To bask in the fact that you needed his help, to hold it over your head, maybe even barter it for a date. It was almost a little unnerving that he was being so sincere and caring. You were just so used to him being an arrogant dick.
“I’m not gonna get on my knees and beg.”
Billy let out a light chuckle at that, giving a shake of his head before glancing at you with a familiar smirk.
“I’d never expect you to, sweetheart.”
Taking another swig of his beer, a look of contemplation crossed Billy’s sharp features.
“I guess it’s a good thing this isn’t a date then.”
Glancing at him in puzzlement, a crease formed between your brows as you set the green glass bottle down on the sticky wooden bar top.
“Why?”
Without missing a beat, Billy raised the bottle to his lips and shrugged casually.
“I’d hate to end up gutted in some alley.”
Billy had said those words so nonchalantly, with a deadpan expression on his face, that for a moment you were in shock. You should’ve been incredibly offended, or horrified by that crass comment, but instead, you were holding back a surprised laugh that threatened to escape. Your lips were puckered in an attempt to scowl as you slightly narrowed your eyes. Billy turned his head to look at you with faux innocence on his face and in his voice.
“Too soon?”
Seeing the way you were trying so hard to conceal your amusement, Billy’s lips slowly spread into a wolfish grin. Shaking your head, you brought your beer bottle to your lips to hide the way you were trying not to laugh or smile.
“You are such an asshole.”
Billy’s shoulders subtly shook as he snickered. His dark brown eyes flickered down to the green glass bottle in his left hand, and then he lifted his head to wave the bartender over again.
“Whiskey, neat.”
Turning his attention back to you, Billy could see the lingering look in your eyes that gave away how worried you truly were despite the front you were attempting to put up. He cleared his throat and leaned in a little closer, resting his arms on the bar as he gave a nod of his head in your direction and spoke calmly.
“Alright, alright. I’ll behave. Start from the beginning, tell me everything.”
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