#I always get startled when I see my hair and think it’s a spider for a second

[valewritessss]

I felt so seen when I first read pjo and it mentioned Annabeth’s arachnophobia. I used to have so many nightmares when I was younger (probably started when I was around five or six), I would wake up in the middle of the night and be so terrified of moving because I thought there were spiders all over my bed. The shadows on my popcorn ceiling looked like spider figures and I remember just laying there sweating and not making a sound because I thought it would attract the spiders I guess? It was routine for me to shout for my mom—poor her, she would be woken at 2 in the morning like thrice a week— and she’d always shake my sheets and lay with me until I feel asleep. She would also take me to sleep with her and my dad in their massive bed (who was I to say no to the invitation?) and it got to the point where I was embarrassed that I couldn’t sleep a whole night without someone. Occasionally, I still have these nightmares about spiders and I just turn on a light, go to the bathroom, come back, and pretend it never happened.

Idk, just thinking about that. I kind of had forgotten about those nightmares but I don’t play when I see spiders because I know it means I’m going to dream about them.

[luveline]

Jade I’ve been WAITING and HOPING for you to ask about spider verse and/or Miguel requests. He is the epitome of grumpy love interest falls for sunshine reader, would you maybe write something where he’s like in the midst of being scary and intimidating and then when reader walks in he is trying to maintain that image in front of whoever else is there but she just like totally ignores it and basically exposes how soft he is?

Obviously feel free to take or leave whatever parts of that you like I just love grumpy x sunshine

SPOILERS FOR SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE BELOW

thank you for your request! for you my love, grumpy (lovesick) miguel x sunshine spidergirl!reader, 1.5k

Miguel spends a lot of time arguing with Peter B. Parker, or as you've so fondly nicknamed him, Sweatpants-Man. Well, Miguel spends a lot of time yelling at him. It stopped for a while; Peter B. Parker took some time away from the Spider Society, but eventually he returned with a brand new spider. A baby girl. 

You linger at the door, startled to find him in company, but pleased when he isn't yelling as loudly as he could be. He looks desperately as though he wants to shout, and is holding back through sheer force of will, his eyes widened and his hair falling in unruly waves over his forehead, strands of it curled into his eyes. 

Miguel is a worrier. It isn't his fault. He's a great man with responsibilities beyond his control, and he may not always react how he should, but he tries his best. You don't agree with everything he does, but you like him. You adore him. For all of his goodness, his bravery, and the smile he gives you when you're alone. 

He's clearly troubled by something. 

"I don't really see the harm, I won't tell him a thing," Peter B. Parker says.

"Why do you refuse to listen to me? No. End of discussion." 

"I think we should reopen the discussion," Peter B. Parker says. 

He and Miguel are friends, you think. They would have been best buddies by now if Peter could abide by Miguel's rules. Then again, you ignore the rules often and indiscriminately, and Miguel likes you.

He's scraping his hair out of his eyes now, a fierce glare fixed on Peter's face, and you have the urge to go in there and try to persuade him to give Peter whatever it is he's asking for. You're almost certain you could do it. 

Not through your sheer mastery of the persuasive arts, though you have mastered them, but because Miguel O'Hara has a soft spot for you. He tries to hide it and you refuse to let him. You haven't tried to kiss him or anything (you secretly aren't that brave) but you run circles around him for fun, only letting him boss you around every now and then to keep things loose. You could be much meaner about the whole thing: what is so humiliating as falling for your lackadaisical subordinate? But you don't hold it against him, because he likely isn't finished falling yet, and because you really do like him. 

You pull your mask off of your face and then your gloves, shoving them into a concealed pocket on your thigh. 

"Miguel," you murmur, knowing he'll hear you no matter the volume, "what's wrong?" 

Miguel doesn't glance your way. 

Peter B. Parker's shoulders sag in relief at your appearance. "Thank god you're here," he says. 

You hadn't realised Peter knew who you were. "I'm here," you repeat mildly. 

"Tell Miguel that the risk involved with visiting Earth-1610 is super, duper small." 

"Well, it is negligible," you murmur, though Peter's quest isn't your prerogative. 

Miguel groans loud and unapologetically. 

You stand near Miguel and look up at him. He's ridiculously tall. You’d have to crane your neck if you stood at his feet. You maintain some distance and look him over from a gentler incline, cataloguing the dark circles under his eyes for the hundredth time. They don't look too bad today, but you wish he'd get more rest. 

He has a very fierce face, but you know how it softens when he laughs. It's hard to find his glaring intimidating when you've witnessed the white flash of sharp teeth as he smiles, the way his eyes light up and his eyebrows relax from their stern set when you bring him something to eat on late nights. It's almost always smothered as soon as it happens, but it does happen. 

"The risk involved is not super small," he says, still not looking at you, "the risk involved is actually incredibly big, and it isn't worth it." 

Peter puts his arms out just as Mayday drops from the rafters above. You huff a laugh at his coordination and Mayday starts to laugh, her knitted beanie drooping into her eyes. 

"Hi, baby," you say softly, reaching out to hold her hand. She squeezes your fingers. 

"It's worth the risk. Absolutely, it's worth the risk, and I would argue that me visiting would actually strengthen the state of the multiverse–" 

"In what scenario–" 

"–and, like, make your job easier." Peter stops Mayday from climbing up your shoulder. 

"If there's one thing you've never done, Peter, it's make my job easier. I can't believe you're asking me again," Miguel says, taking a big breath, like he's going to pop. 

You step away from Peter to catch Miguel's attention. When his eyes lock onto yours, you smile as fondly as you're able, the kind of smile you know he likes. Your eyes widen just a touch and your eyebrows rise, the corners of your mouth not quite dimpling. It's a smile that says all the same stuff you love to say aloud. Hi, handsome. What's got you so stressed today? 

"Don't be like that, Miguel," Peter says. 

You tilt your head to one side. "You don't look very well," you say. 

"I'm fine." There's a thread of gentleness there, almost indistinguishable from his serious tone. "Or I would be, if Peter would listen to me for once." 

"I'm listening, man, I just think you should see sense." 

Miguel's face flickers like he wants to correct him, but he keeps getting caught on you. Nothing specific, just that his gaze lands on your face or your shoulder or your arm before he looks at Peter, and all the steam rushes out of him. He’s trying not to smile at you.

"I see sense," Miguel insists. It's like he wants to be angrier than he has, gritting his teeth weakly. "It's not feasible right now." 

You smile at that. Right now. You're not sure he's ever said something that could lead to a compromise. You are sure that he hadn't meant to. Peter is understandably thrilled, hiding his own smile as he puts Mayday back into her carrier. 

"Alright. Well, I've gotta take her home. But I'll see you both again soon," Peter threatens, wiggling his eyebrows. "Thank you," he adds, nodding at you. 

You laugh as he leaves. Miguel is nowhere near as pleased. 

"You did that on purpose," Miguel says. 

"I did what on purpose?" 

"Coming in here." 

"Yeah, of course. I come to see you all the time on purpose. Did you think I was drifting in here on the breeze? That would be difficult, considering." You gesture to the entrance of his office, which is far from easily accessible. 

Miguel looks at you, unimpressed, with his hands on his hips. You wonder what it would take to make him put his hands on yours. 

"Don't even think about it," he says. 

"About what, handsome?" 

"You think I don't know what that look means?" He sounds fond rather than angry. It's a win. 

"I bet you know, but I'm in the dark, so if you'd… illuminate it for me, that would be greatly appreciated." 

He checks that no one's about to enter his office. You feel your heart jerk in your chest, and if his super senses are anything like the other Spider People, he can hear it. 

"You really can't come in here when I'm trying to set people straight," he says. 

"Why?" you ask. You could pout at him, but you think that might be too much. 

"You know why." Somewhere between words he drifts closer, soundless, his face inching down toward yours with a surprising swiftness. "You know why," he repeats.

You lift your chin as much as you dare, which isn't much, but enough that your giggly confirmation fans over his lips, "Yes, I do." 

He nudges you away, and it isn't without affection. His warm, big hand lingers on your shoulder, even as he says, "Go, go do something." 

"Miguel, I came to see you." 

"I know, and I have a meeting with Jess in a minute, so you can't be here. It'll undermine my authority." 

"What will?" you ask, smiling, because you already know. His fondness for you. 

"Go away. Come and see me later," he says. 

You sigh and spin away from him. "I will, but not because you told me to!" you call, leaving the office with an awful sense of victory. 

Miguel scrubs his face with his hands as you go. He's really not sure what he's going to do with you. His plan to hold you at arm’s length isn’t working anymore, and honestly? He doesn’t think he could stand it a minute longer. Thank whoever’s watching over him that you actually do as he asks for once and leave. 

Miguel was one sweet smile away from kissing you up against the wall.

[arminsumi]

Hi! I hope ur having a good time. Sorry, for the phrasing, English is not my first language hehe (｡>\\<) btw i really like ur writing! u keep them in character and also ur amazing at writing fluff ♡(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ can I please ask for a gojo fluff where he realizes reader always wanted to have a small boyfriend to like call him baby boy to sit on her lap and spoil him and stuff and then gojo goes apeshit like trying to sit on her with his long ass limbs trying to be a babyboy idk hehehe anyways tysm

"I'm your baby boy, right?"

GOJO さとる + fem!reader

Satoru thinks he's smaller than he actually is, and tries curl up on you like a cat.

Note : hey hey! srry i took so long to write this omggg it got lost in my drafts. but!! it's such a sweet idea thank u for sending it in!! big beefy satoru trying to make himself ur small boy is a thought that gave me life 💗😖 and thank u so much for ur kind words it means a lot!!

Satoru tries to curl up on you as if he's a little cat.

But he's not.

Ah, but he really thinks he is sometimes.

And he wants to be a little cat to you, not a big burly man or a strong intimidating menace but just a small, soft, delicate thing to be held and touched and pampered with love and care.

It makes you laugh, as you listen to him grunting and struggling to position himself on your lap and get those long limbs in order — it's one of the funniest sights; a big boy trying to box himself up like he's not 6'3 with broad-shoulders 'n thick arms 'n long spider-like legs.

"Do you think you're a cat or something?"

"Yes." he grins dumbly, balancing precariously on you as you sit. Then he sees your smile and slips off. "—oopsfuck!" he falls, gets up, acts it off, then tries again.

In bed, he wiggles down the sheets so his head is level with your chest. He wraps his arms around your middle, arches his back, and encases you between his legs. He clings to your body on his side like that, and snuggles his cheek on your chest as if it's his rightful pillow, the place where he belongs.

"Play with my hair, please?" he mumbles with pouty lips.

He smiles to himself when you fulfil his request.

Feeling both your warmth and your fingers stroking lovingly through his hair makes him drowsy. And when he's drowsy, he mumbles mental notes like "we need to buy orange juice tomorrow..." as he falls asleep.

His grip slackens as he falls asleep. In the middle of the night, he'll wake up and look at you with that puffy pouty sleepy face of his and stare for a moment, appreciating you, before tightening his embrace on your body and returning to slumber.

When he wakes up the next morning with you, he makes the same request; "Play with my hair." but with a raspy voice.

While you do so, he groaningly complains about having had nightmares all night.

"I keep dreamin' about saving the world 'n failing... but it's fine. I wake up and you're right here. So nothin' to worry about. Doesn't matter if I fail if I still have you."

He's so happy to be getting spoiled and pampered by you while curling his body up as small as possible. Happy that he has someone he doesn't have to be big and strong around. Someone who he can be a baby boy around.

Sometimes he's resting on your chest in the mornings in silence, when suddenly he rears his head up and asks "I'm your baby boy, right? Say it, please."

"Mhm. You're my baby boy, Satoru. Don't worry."

"Mm yay." he smiles to himself and resumes resting on you, his white hair tickling under your chin. "Say it again, please. Just keep saying it."

So you do, you say it repeatedly and it sounds like a soft lullaby to him. He falls back asleep with his ear pressed to your heartbeat, and feels a safe warmness in his chest.

"Oh." he startles out of his shallow sleep, "We need to buy orange juice, don't we?"

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[tired-and-ticklish]

Rough Day

Summary: Angel Dust's had a rough and long day at work, no pun intended. Niffty helps him unexpectedly relax.

TW: Tickling, Mentions of Valentino, Mentions of Angel's job, Swearing, Mentions of safewords being ignored.

I couldn't get this idea out of my mind after seeing this scene from the show.

Part Two

“Oh fuuuuuuuck!” Angel groaned as he entered the hotel, cracking his back as he did.

Today had not been a good day for him. First, Valentino wanted some ‘quality time’ with him, which always put Angel in a terrible mood and headspace. Then, that fucking moth had him work for what felt like an eternity. No rest, no food breaks, nothing. Everything felt sore, and the spider was just happy there was a shower at the studio. Otherwise, he’d have to wait till he got to the hotel to clean up.

He just wanted to face plant into the first soft object he found and pass out for the rest of the day.

“You look messy!” Nifty said, startling Angel as she hopped out of a potted plant. “What happened to you?”

“More like ‘who happened to me?’ and the answer? Everyone. Twice.” Angel groaned, beginning to head for the couch. “Val had me working sixteen hours on a fucking limb! The absolute dick-”

The spider demon’s rant was cut off, biting his lip slightly. He hadn’t noticed Niffty jump onto his back, until he felt her dusting him off, tickling him and causing him to freeze. Angel quickly reached his lower arms around and tried to pull her off before anyone could notice.

“I appreciate the help.” He told the maid “But I don’t need dusting.”

“But, you’re messy.” Niffty repeated, and as if to emphasize her point, trying to reach up to fix Angel’s hair.

“Yeah well, I’m not some piece of fucking furn-Ack!”

The maid was ignoring him, as Angel felt the feather duster now on his neck. This was bad, he realized as he bit his lip. Sure, he was the taller demon, but Niffty was faster, already out of range of his hands and back on his back. He needed to stay composed, as he noticed Husk, Charlie, and Vaggie watching him from the sidelines.

“N-Nihihihihift, c-come on, I think I’m c-clehehheeean now.” Angel tried to plead, a few giggles escaping as the duster left his neck and headed for his worst spot, his armpits. Having six arms was both a blessing, and curse, especially since the spider had kept his worst spots from when he was alive. There was no way he’d be able to keep it in if she got there.

“You’re clean when I say you’re clean.” The cyclops told him, and before Angel could attempt to plead any further, the feathers made contact.

He clamped his upper set of arms down as a small squeal came out of him. The spider demon felt an unintentional smile begin to form on his face, and despite his clamped arms, the duster was still moving.

“N-Nihihihihfty plehehehehease!” He couldn’t help it anymore, laughter was starting to pour out of him.

“Angel… Are you…Ticklish?” Charlie asked, and Angel could practically hear the smile in her voice. Though, considering the Princess of Hell, that was an easy thing to listen for.

“N-Noohohohoh, fuhuhuhuhck ohohohohoff!”

“Oh my Satan, he actually is.” Vaggie said, clearly enjoying the show as she chuckled.

“Niihihihihihffty plehehehehease!” Angel covered his face with one of his hands, trying to hide his smile.

It wasn’t that Angel hated being tickled, or wasn’t used to it. He hated when Valentino did it, or any of the clients Val gave him did it. ‘Safewords’ and ‘boundaries’ were not words in the Overlord’s vocabulary, and oftentimes, he and the clients would be too rough, making the spider demon cry out in pain more than pleasure. They made fun of him, and touched places he hated, especially his feet, especially when Valentino was in a bad mood.

But the gentle tickles of the feather duster? Niffty not staying in one spot too long as he felt her move it to his ribs? That was the kind of tickling Angel enjoyed, the softer side of it, and it was embarrassing. He was a pornstar, for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t enjoy something like this! Or at least, if he did, it should have been in the kinky sense. 

And yet, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the non-sexual aspect of it, how freeing it felt to just laugh and let himself go. Angel Dust liked being tickled, and the idea of his hotel companions finding out embarrassed him even more. Even so, Angel couldn’t find it in himself to throw the smaller sinner off him. Sometimes, Niffty reminded him of Molly in a way, and that tugged at the part of him that still cared about people.

“W-Waahahahait wahahahait shhihihit!” Angel’s knees buckled, him sliding to the floor as the maid continued dusting him off, though he heard her let out a small giggle, obviously knowing what she was doing.

“Just a few more spots, then you’re done!” She assured him, letting out another mischievous laugh as Angel squealed.

“P-Plehehehehease Iihihhihi cahahahaan’t tahhaahake- NOHOHOHOT THEHHRHERE!”

His lower set of armpits was attacked, for some reason, those ones were much worse than his upper arms. It was like the further down you went, the more sensitive Angel’s body became. And yet, he still wasn’t feeling any actual distress. Hell, the weirdest part about all of this was that it was helping him relax.

“NHIHIHIHIHIFFTY!”

As soon as it started, it was all over, Angel feeling the feathers being removed. He caught his breath, hugging himself in an attempt to get those phantom tickles away. Looking up, he spotted Husk, who had lifted Niffty off the spider demon.

“Hey, I think I saw some roaches on the other side of the hotel-” The cat demon began, and, as the mention of any sort of bug, the cyclops maid took off like a bullet. Husk shook his head a bit, before offering a hand to Angel. “You still alive, legs?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Angel said, waving one of his hands while another accepted Husk’s. The spider was pulled to his feet.

“How are you feeling?” Charlie asked, Angel’s cheeks turning a shade of pink as he realized they had all seen him lose it.

“I-I mean, it wasn’t… awful.” Angel said as casually as he could muster, trying not to let them know he enjoyed it. The Princess of Hell let out a small squeak, sparkles in her eyes.

“We could do that for trust exercises!”

“Do… what?”

“Tickling!”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea!” All four of them were suddenly startled by Alastor’s presence, the Radio Demon apparently having been watching from wherever he had been. “After all, you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

“Well that sounds like a big fucking riot, but I’m going to pass.” Husk said, already starting to back away despite how calm his voice sounded.

“I-I think Niffty got me enough for the day.” Angel began, also backing away.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor were looking at them with mischievous smiles, coming closer toward the spider and cat. Husk tried to remain casual, like he wasn’t trying to run up to his room, while Angel held up all four of his hands pleadingly, a nervous smile already stretching onto his face.

“Ten~” The Radio Demon began.

Both Angel and Husk took off like two bats out of Hell, hearing Charlie’s excited giggles and Vaggie’s threatening teases as they ran. Soon enough, Alastor’s countdown was finished, both girls running after their targets. The Radio Demon twirled his microphone cane, before casually following along.

‘What an interesting venture this hotel is turning out to be.’ Alastor thought with a chuckle.

[clickbait-official]

Pericardium

prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting - "I love you. That's why I have to leave." "Well, I love you too and that's why you have to stay."

Thranduil brainrot is GETTING ME its GETTING ME

masterlist

~~~

This was getting unbearable, I thought to myself. Climbing the stairs leading to the gardens was not what I was referring to, though they were rather tiring.

The unbearable part was having to live like my heart wasn't beating.

Let me explain.

I moved into Mirkwood years ago, under the request of Lord Elrond of Rivendell. Assumedly, he'd thought that my experience with growing plants might be helpful in a place actively combating giant spiders.

He was right, as he normally is, but not for the reason he thought.

Instead, I'd found myself the right-hand of the Elven King himself. For no apparent reason at all - no background in diplomacy or in royal affairs helped rationalize just how I got here.

But that is not why you're here, is it?

Over the years by the King's side, I'd grown close to him. We shared hopes and heartbreaks, dreams and despairs. It felt healing, I suppose.

That closeness breached professionalism at times. It scared me.

Once that line was breached, there was no going back.

I had not even earned my position here. I was not a native to Mirkwood. How in Middle-Earth would Mirkwood's elves ever agree to such a union?

They would not, I decided. It made what I was about to do much easier.

I could not stop my heart from beating for long. I had to leave, quickly, before the traitorous thing choose to turn against logic yet again.

Surely Lord Elrond would welcome me back to Rivendell if I explained my situation, right?

The thought of leaving Mirkwood, the place I call home, as well as the king who rules it, forces my heart to skip a beat.

I must learn to live without a heart, I think. If only to curb the pain to come.

Rushing to the stables, I see my horse at the far end. My heart begins contracting in my chest. That is my cue to hurry the hell up, as the humans say.

One step after another. All to take me further away from here.

I clutch at my horse's hair. She dips her head down in recognition, letting me freely hug her close. My closest companion, now that I'm leaving.

It feels a little bit like burning at stake. Not that I know how that feels, but it's the most similar thing, I suppose.

My heart is being cooked in the flames of love.

I close my eyes to center myself for a minute. And like a good pie, I savor the moment.

Sighing, I open my eyes. "Let's get going, starlight."

"Go where?"

The sudden intrusion is startling, and I turn to look behind me.

Thranduil.

He looks stunning as always, like a star that's descended from the heavens. His eyes, the color of a clear sky, zeroed in on me.

"Well?" He tilts his head slightly. Every day I forget how speechless he makes me.

"I... I was just planning on taking a short ride around, my King."

To this he lifts an eyebrow. And smirks, damn him.

"Oh? May I accompany you, then?" He knows I can't deny him.

Not wanting him to know my true intent, I nod at him, "Certainly."

The slight smile gracing his face made everything else disappear. For a single moment, all I could see was him.

It took a minute to prepare, then we were off. Into the beautiful forest we call home.

~~~

I was busy admiring the tall grey-brown bark of the trees we were riding past when he broke the silence.

"Do you like it here?"

The question surprises me. Both in its suddenness and in its intimacy.

"Of course, my King. Why do you ask?"

I can feel his eyes on me, studying the map of my face. I can feel the blood pumping in my veins.

"If that's so, why does Elanor speak of your mentioning departure from Mirkwood?"

To this I advert my gaze. Caught.

He continues. "You seem to be more and more distant than usual. I can't help but wonder why."'

"Because I'm in love with you" My heart screams. I stay silent.

Thranduil notices this, and both his eyes and voice turn sharp.

"What are you hiding?"

I sigh softly. "My king, I must return to Rivendell."

He studies me, not believing a word.

"And I must leave soon. I did not want to cause any more burden to your shoulders, my King. That is why I did not tell you."

"You were never a burden. And did you not think of the panic your disappearance would cause in the palace? The panic you would cause me? You cannot just leave like that. Not without a proper reason." He gets more and more animated as he speaks, and I feel my temper rising to match his.

"I need to leave-"

"No you don't!"

"And go to Rivendell and-"

"Not without a reason! You can't just leave! I forbid it!"

His voice echoes in the forest. Mine follows suit.

"I love you! That's why I have to go!"

Ruined. That's what this friendship is.

He, for once, falls silent. His hair shifts as he turns to look at me, truly look at me. His eyes, once cold, are now softer.

"I love you too. And that's why you have to stay."

...What.

~~~

Brainrot is real because its happening to me

[fetusgooseandjuice]

oh i didn’t know you hadn’t seen the venom movies! so sorry to put that on you! could you do a gwen stacy x fem!reader where r is bi but closeted and gwen helps her come out to her parents

I'll Wait For You

Pairing: Spider-Gwen x Fem!Reader

Summary: The request!

Word Count: 2.2k

Authors Note: No need to apologize, anon, don’t worry about it! I hope I did Gwen some justice with this fic! 😊

You were startled awake by three knocks on your bedroom window. With squinted eyes, you sat up slightly and tapped your phone screen to see that it was only a little past five in the morning. Who on earth would even be at your house this early?

Three more knocks sounded on your window, this time louder and seemingly more impatient which prompted you to sit all the way up. You swung your legs over the edge of your bed and made your way over to the window.

When you pulled back the curtains you were surprised to see Gwen crouched down on the roof as she normally didn’t return to you until later in the evening.

Recently, your time together has been limited because Gwen had been so busy with her spider duties, but she somehow always made time to see you everyday even if it wasn’t for that long.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of you as you unlocked your window and opened it, “Hey, baby,” she said with a bright smile.

“Gwen? What’re you doing here? Last night you said you had another mission today.” you asked as she climbed into your room.

“Well, I convinced Miguel to pass the rest of my assignments off to someone else because I wanted to see you. I’ve missed you.”

Gwen stepped closer to wrap her arms around you while your heart fluttered at her words. You relaxed into her embrace and let your head fall to her shoulder while your arms went around her neck, inhaling her familiar scent.

"I've missed you too." you said.

As you stood there in a comfortable silence, her words sank in. It was starting make you feel guilty that Gwen set aside her hero work to be with you while your parent's don't even know about your relationship.

You're not even out to them yet. Of course your parents know Gwen as you had been friends for a while before you began dating, but that's all your parents think it is.

A friendship.

You couldn't help but wonder if she was getting tired of all the secrecy, but you were too worried about your parent's reaction to the confession to do anything about it.

Gwen must've noticed the change in your demeanor because she broke the silence, "What's going on in the pretty head of yours, hm?" she wondered as she pressed a kiss to your hairline.

It took you a moment to gather your thoughts before responding, "Are you not tired of waiting for me?" you asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows at the question, "What do you mean?"

You buried your face in the crook of her neck to avoid her gaze before adding on, “Does it not bother you that my parents don’t know about us? About me?”

She shook her head, “I don’t mind, Y/N. I mean of course I would love for your parents to know about us, but not until you’re ready for them to know. What brought this on?”

You just shrugged your shoulders, “You were ready to take a break from being spider-woman to be able to spend more time with me while I’m too scared to even tell my parents that I also like girls. I’m just worried that you’ll get sick of hiding.”

Gwen rubbed her hand along your back to reassure you. She hated seeing you so worked up. “You don’t have to worry about that, baby. As long as I get to be with you I’m okay with it, and when and only when you’re ready to tell them, I’ll be there with you. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll wait for you.” she spoke to you ever so softly.

You lifted your head from her neck to look at her.

“There are those beautiful eyes.” she grinned and you giggle.

“Are you sure?” you asked, referring to her assuring statement from just a moment ago.

Gwen gazed at you as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “Without a doubt in my mind."

You stared into her eyes before leaning in to press your lips against hers. You don't know what you had done to deserve Gwen and her patience, but you were grateful for it nonetheless.

As you pulled away from the kiss, her comforting voice replayed in your mind.

When you're ready to tell them, I'll be there with you.

“I think I’m ready. I want to tell them.” you practically whispered.

Gwen slightly frowned in confusion at your words. She thought the whole reason for this conversation was because you were scared she’d get bored of having to sneak around since you weren’t out to your parents yet.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to feel pressured into saying something if—”

You quickly interrupted her, “No, no. I am ready. I want to tell them about us because I know that no matter their reaction I’ll have you, right?”

A small smile graced her lips, “You’ll always have me, but I want you to be one-hundred percent certain. Are you?”

“Without a doubt in my mind.” you said and she chuckled when she realized you repeated her words from earlier.

You pecked her lips again before bringing her into another hug. Your fingers lovingly grazed the baby hairs growing on the nape of her neck as you yawned, the sleep you were missing out on from being woken up so early now catching up to you.

Gwen laughed and slightly pulled back to look at your tired eyes, “Sleepy?”

You playfully rolled your eyes, “Yeah, because somebody decided to show up at my window at five in the morning like a creep and wake me up.”

You peeled yourself off her and ran a hand through your hair as you moved to close your curtains, effectively blocking out the sunlight from the rising sun.

“Well you do look very cute when you just wake up.”

“I look a mess.” you disagreed.

Gwen watched as you climbed back into your bed and pulled the covers over you, making yourself comfortable.

When you looked back her you raised your eyebrow, 'Well are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna come cuddle me. You owe it to me anyway for waking me up this early."

She jokingly scoffed and kicked her shoes off before sliding under the covers next to you, "You're not worried about your parents walking in?" she asked as you situated yourself to curl up to her.

You shook your head, "No, they won't wake up for a few hours. If we decide to fall asleep I'll just set an alarm."

She agreed and wrapped her arms around you, securing you against her, "I love you, Y/N." she whispered, but it was loud enough for you to hear her.

"I love you too, Gwen.

~ ~ ~

This time you woke up to the repetitive chime of your alarm. You groaned and blindly reached over to tap your phone screen, eventually shutting off the alarm.

You rolled back over to look at your girlfriend who was somehow still asleep despite the sudden sound. "Gwen," you whispered.

She hummed, letting you know that she heard you but her eyes remained closed, "Baby," you spoke softly, "We've got to wake up now before my parents do."

Gwen just tightened her arm around you to bring you closer, "We can spare a few more minutes." she mumbled. You were about insist once more until you were interrupted by a loud grumbling of her stomach.

You giggled as she let her eyes flutter open, "Sounds to me like your stomach thinks otherwise." you joked.

Gwen just playfully glared at you. Reaching for your phone you checked the time, "Come on, we still have about an hour before they normally wake up. We can get something to eat real quick."

She groaned as you rolled out of bed and took her hand to pull her up with you before making your way out of your room and down the stairs. When you walked into the kitchen your heart had nearly jumped out of your chest at the sight of your parents sitting at the dining table.

They were sipping on cups of coffee with plates of breakfast sitting in front of them.

"Good morning, dear—” your mom greeted, but her train of thought was quickly lost when she saw the girl next to you, "Gwen? When did you get here? We didn't see you come in."

It wasn't an unusual thing to you parents for Gwen to be at your house often as she was your best friend, but they were confused as to why she was here this early in the morning.

"Oh, not long ago. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to come over. I came in through the window instead of the front door so I didn't wake anyone else up because it was so early." Gwen quickly came up with some justification for her being here.

Your parents seemed to have bought it because they just nodded their heads and returned to what they were doing before, "There's some extra food on the stove for you girls if you're hungry." your father spoke.

You thanked him and made your way further into the kitchen to get a plate of food with Gwen following behind. You looked at Gwen and flicked your eyes towards the dining table. She nodded, making a silent agreement to join your parents at the table.

They didn't seem to notice when you sat situated yourself in the seats across from them as they appeared to be in their own little worlds. You looked to Gwen once again and she gave you another little nod, placing a comforting hand on your thigh.

You cleared your throat, "Um. Mom, dad," you said and they looked up at you, the sudden attention slightly startling you, "I have something that I want to tell you."

Your parents shared a look before turning back to you, "Are you okay? What is it, honey?" your mother asked.

"I'm fine, it's just— I need to tell you something and I want you to promise me that nothing is gonna change. That you'll still see me the same way you do now and you'll still love me."

The way you were talking was worrying your parents and they looked at each other with concern in their eyes.

"Of course we'll still love you, sweetheart, but was is it? You're starting to scare us."

You glanced at Gwen and she squeezed your thigh. You didn't want to beat around the bush but you also didn't know how you were supposed to say it, so you just blurted it out.

"I like girls." you said.

Silence rang through the room so you continued, "I—I like girls, and guys. I like both, but-- but I wanted to tell you that I like girls too." you were stuttering a ton and your voice was shaking, but you couldn't help it. "And— and Gwen isn't just my friend. We're dating."

You couldn't quite read the expression on your parents face which made you even more anxious. You felt like you could almost cry. Gwen rubbed her hand up and down your thigh, letting you know that she was still here.

"Is that all?" your mom asked.

You gulped and nodded your head, becoming confused when your parents glanced at each other with amusement on their faces.

"Oh, honey, we've been known that." your mom chuckled.

Your eyes widened at her words, "You-- what?"

"Y/N, we're not clueless. We see the way you two look at each other, it's almost obvious, but we were waiting for you to come to us." you father jumped in.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you didn't exactly know what to say, "So, you're not mad?" you eventually wondered.

A smiled spread across your mothers face, "Of course not, Y/N. You're our daughter and we'll always love you. We've known Gwen for a while too and we adore her, so we're relieved you picked someone like her."

It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulders listening to your mom. You were surprised to say the least that they already knew, but you weren't complaining.

"Thank you." was all you managed to get out.

"You don't have to thank us, sweetie. We're your parents, it's what we're supposed to do. Now come here." You let your parents envelope you in a warm hug that made you feel so safe.

Their voices were slightly muffled from the embrace, but you could make out a few "we love you's", and "we'll always be here for you's". When they pulled back your father looked towards Gwen who sat with a big smile on her face.

"Now just because I've known you prior to you dating my daughter, Gwen, doesn't mean you get to escape 'the talk'" he joked and Gwen laughed along with him, "Just take care of my daughter, okay?"

Gwen smiled at you, "I promise I always will."

[wannabehockeygf]

hornylovesickmess - connor dewar

“Like, it’s been months since I’ve had sex,

I’m just a horny little lovesick mess.”

summary: you and connor have been best friends since childhood, being next-door neighbours, but on the night after your highschool graduation, everything changes.

word count: 4k

pairing: connor dewar x fem! reader

warnings: 18+! fingering (f receiving), dry humping (I hated writing those words out as much as you did reading them), and just general steamy content. this is nsfw.

notes: a part of this comes from a chapter in my longer dewar fic (but this doesn’t happen). I mostly wrote this alternate scenario because I’ve been thinking of him (and neck kisses in general) a lot lately. Characters are 18!

also, reader is wearing a bra. i don’t think it’s very clear lol.

this is definitely not proof read or edited !

***

Staring at the ceiling, you let your mind drift aimlessly, the cool darkness of your room cocooning you after a day like this. The soft, white plaster is speckled with tiny imperfections, each one a tiny constellation in your personal night sky. Your mind races, each thought tumbling over the last, making you more anxious about the future than ever. Who are you going to be? No, who do you want to be? What's your goal?

The truthful answer is, you don't really know anything. All you do know is that you're jetting off to Toronto in September to get your bachelor's, and that simply feels unreal. Away from your family, your friends, this house... you can't fathom it yet, but now that you've officially graduated, it's as fast approaching as ever.

Okay, you're spiraling. You turn over in bed, the cool sheets rustling beneath you as you reach for your phone to text Connor for peace of mind. But then you hear a thud against your window.

Startled by the noise, you quickly sit up, your heart pounding in your chest. The moonlight filters through the blinds, casting eerie, elongated shadows that dance across your room like specters. Another soft thud follows, and you slowly approach the window, the floorboards creaking beneath your feet. Drawing back the curtain, you see a hand gripping the windowsill, fingers tense and white with effort.

Okay, what the fuck? Are you about to get murdered? Cautiously, you peek over it to see a head of messy brown hair, and almost simultaneously, Connor pulls himself up, his biceps flexing slightly as he tries to keep himself from falling.

"Connor? What are you doing here?" you whisper, your heart racing as you unlock the window and slide it open.

He grins sheepishly through his struggle, his breath coming out in short puffs from the effort of climbing. "Surprise," he says, his voice barely audible over the night breeze. "Can I come in?"

You step back, allowing him to swing his legs over the windowsill and clumsily land on the carpeted floor of your room. "You could've just used the front door, you know," you say, trying to hide the warmth spreading through your chest at the sight of him.

Connor stands up straight, kicking off his shoes and placing them neatly beside the window before turning to face you again. He's wearing a navy blue t-shirt and gray sweatshorts, and the height difference between you is now very much noticeable without your heels. He's not the tallest guy on earth, but you would consider yourself 'short', and so would he.

"It's past midnight," he offers as reason, and when you raise a brow at him he continues, "And... wouldn't your parents get weird about me being in your room with you alone? Especially this late."

You swallow as you feel a blush creep up your neck at his words. He's not wrong; ever since you were about 15, your parents have had an 'open door' policy when he came over. You always protested because you always made sure they knew you were just friends, but it was firm.

"True," you concede, trying to sound nonchalant. "But you scaling my window like Spider-Man isn't exactly inconspicuous."

Connor chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. "Hey, I had to make it exciting, right?"

You can't help but smile back at him. It's been a rough night, feeling overlooked and forgotten at your own graduation party paired with doubts about the future, but having Connor show up like this... it's unexpectedly comforting, like a scene out of a rom-com. "So, why are you here again?" you remark, sitting down at the foot of your bed.

Connor's smile fades as he runs a hand through his tousled hair. "I couldn't sleep, I wanted to see you..." He trails off, fumbling with his fingers nervously, "I... I'm scared."

"Scared? What do you mean?" you ask, your voice softening as you look up at him. Connor rarely opens up like this, so you know whatever he's about to say must be weighing heavily on him.

Connor takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed on the floor as he begins to pace back and forth in front of you. "Everything is changing." He says plainly, and when you look at him confused he continues, "I know we've talked about this before, going our separate ways, you in Toronto for college and me in Minnesota for hockey, but now that it's actually happening... I'm terrified."

Your heartbeat immediately picks up as you meet his gaze, and you can literally see the fear in his eyes now that he mentions it. "Weren't you the one who said our lives are just getting started?" you question, which causes him to stand still.

Connor looks around the room for a second before his eyes land back on yours. "I know I said that, but..."

Panic sets in on you almost immediately as you dart back up. "I thought you were supposed to be the calm one!" you exclaim, and Connor flinches at your rise in volume, glancing at your door to make sure no one woke up.

"Sorry," you mutter, taking a deep breath to calm yourself as you sit back down. "It's just... I don't know what I'm doing either, Connor."

Connor's shoulders slump as he sits down next to you on the bed, his expression filled with uncertainty. "I guess we're both just trying to figure it out, huh?"

You nod in agreement, feeling a weight lift off your chest knowing that you're not the only one feeling lost. "Yeah, I guess so."

For a moment, you sit in silence, the only sound filling the room being the soft hum of the night outside. Then, Connor clears his throat, breaking the quiet. "Do you ever think about... us?" he asks tentatively, his gaze fixed on you as if he can't bear to look anywhere else.

His question catches you off guard, and you find yourself at a loss for words. Of course, you've thought about it. Connor and you have been inseparable since you were kids, and there have been moments when you've wondered if there could be something more between you. But every time the thought crosses your mind, you push it away, convincing yourself that it's better to remain friends.

"Like... how we're going to stay friends when the summer's over?" you lie, forcing yourself to look oblivious to the weight of the question you just asked.

Connor's gaze softens as he gives you a small smile. "Yeah... something like that." He mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't know," you respond softly, thankful that he took your avoidance of this inevitable conversation well. "We've been through so much together, Connor. I can't imagine us not being friends."

Connor's expression remains gentle, his eyes searching yours for a glimpse of reassurance. "Yeah, me neither," he murmurs, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

You sit like that for a while in the darkness, staring at each other, and the tension dissipates. You hope that it'll always be like this, with your best friend. You hope you never drift apart... although, when you let yourself think about it for too long, it seems inevitable.

"I should go..." Connor chokes out after a prolonged silence, his voice barely audible. He stands up, putting his shoes back on before you respond.

"Wait," you blurt out before he can slip back out the window. The urgency in your voice surprises you, but it's as if something deep within you is pushing to say what needs to be said. Connor looks at you, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"What is it?" he asks softly, his eyes searching yours.

"Stay with me?" you ask, your voice unbearably shaky.

Connor's eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, you fear you've overstepped. "Are you sure? Your parents..."

"Please..." you croak out. The desperation in your tone is more than it should be, but if there's one thing you want right now, it is to savor these moments with your favorite person in the entire world while you can.

Connor pauses for a moment, his gaze searching yours for any sign of uncertainty. Finding none, he nods slowly. "Okay. I'll stay," he says, taking off his shoes once again.

The mattress creaks under his weight as he lays down beside you on his back. It's a tight fit; contact is going to be inevitable as his body remains stiff. You turn on your side, reaching out to brush his cheek gently to try to offer a sense of comfort.

Connor's breath hitches as your skin touches his, but his body relaxes. You can tell he wants to say something, but he doesn't know what.

"Thank you..." you whisper, staring at his side profile as he takes another shallow breath. He seems to hesitate for a moment before turning on his side to face you.

Connor's eyes meet yours, and in that moment, it feels like you're the only two people in the world. His expression softens, and he reaches out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Anytime," he replies softly.

You can feel your heart racing in your chest as his gaze lingers on you, a warmth spreading through you that you can't quite explain. For a fleeting second, you entertain the thought of leaning in closer, closing the distance between you, feeling the warmth of his body against yours just this once. But just as quickly, you push the idea away, reminding yourself of the boundaries you've always respected. You give him a small nod, and he takes a deep breath, inching closer.

“Can I… do something?” he suddenly questions, his gaze fixated on yours.

Your heart skips a beat at his question, and a million ideas rush to your head as to predict what he’s about to say – or do, and you eventually land on the fact that you have absolutely no idea. Eventually, a surge of courage mixed with a weird curiosity propel you forward, "Yes," you finally say, your voice barely audible in the stillness of the room.

His eyes widen slightly, a mixture of surprise and relief flashing across his face. Slowly, tentatively, he inches closer, his hand trembling slightly as it reaches up to cup your cheek. His touch is gentle, almost reverent, as if he's afraid to break the fragile moment between the two of you.

You close your eyes, feeling his breath against your skin, his warmth enveloping you. The world around you fades into a blur as the distance between you and him vanishes. His lips hover yours for a second, before they brush against your jawline, torturously slow, looking for a reaction from you.

As Connor’s lips brush against your jawline, you feel a shiver run down your spine. The softness of his touch sends a ripple of emotions through you, and you instinctively lean into his hand, seeking the comfort and connection that only he seems to provide. The anxiety and uncertainty that plagued you earlier begin to melt away, replaced by a sense of warmth and belonging. The heat of his breath mingling with yours created an atmosphere that felt like it suspended time itself. “Connor,” you end up whimpering out, causing him to pull away.

“What?” He murmured softly, meeting your gaze again, “I just can’t kiss your lips…right? This… friends can do this.”

His words hang in the air, and you can see the desperation in his eyes. It's clear that he's struggling with the same boundaries you've both adhered to for years, but now, in this moment, those boundaries seem to blur. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.

"Yeah," you finally say, your voice shaking. "Friends can do this." You're not sure if you're convincing him or yourself, but the lie feels necessary to keep things from changing too much too fast. To get him to keep going because he’s all you want right now, all you’ve ever wanted, even knowing that in the morning you’ll be forced to keep trudging on, forgetting that this ever happened.

Connor’s fingers gently trace the contour of your jawline, his touch lingering as if he's committing the moment to memory. His eyes, dark and filled with an emotion you can't quite name, bore into yours, and you feel like you're standing on the edge of something vast and unknown. He closes the small gap between your faces, his hand still cradling your cheek gently. He brushes his lips against the corner of your mouth, this time trailing a path down your neck.

Your breath hitches at the sensation of his lips on your neck, each kiss sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You can't help the small gasp that escapes your lips, your hand instinctively gripping his t-shirt for support. His touch is both gentle and tentative, as if he's exploring uncharted territory, and you find yourself responding to him in ways you've never allowed yourself to before. His hand moves from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You can now feel the heat of his body pressing against yours, and the boundaries you've always respected seem to dissolve into the darkness around you. The intimacy of the moment feels unreal, like you’re dreaming almost, and you ask for a reality check as soon as you can muster up the words. "Connor," you whisper, your voice trembling. "What are we doing?"

He pauses, his lips hovering just above your collarbone, and for a moment, you think he might pull away. Instead, he lifts his head to look at you, his eyes filled with a vulnerability that mirrors your own. "I don't know," he admits softly, his voice barely more than a breath. "But I know I don't want to stop."

You stare into Connor's eyes, feeling the weight of his admission settle in your chest. The intensity of his gaze, the raw vulnerability in his voice, and the heat radiating between your bodies create a heady mix of emotions that you can’t ignore. You swallow hard, your throat dry, as you nod slightly, giving him the silent permission to continue. Your fingers tangle in his hair, drawing him closer as his breath fans across your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

His hand trails down your side, the pads of his fingers barely grazing your skin through the thin fabric of your shirt. Each touch ignites a fire within you, the electricity of his touch making you feel alive in a way you’ve never experienced before. You gasp softly as his hand slips beneath your shirt, his warm fingers tracing the curve of your waist, his touch possessive and tender all at once.

"Is this okay?" he murmurs against your neck, his lips brushing your skin with each word.

"Yes," you whisper, your voice catching in your throat as you arch into his touch, wanting more, needing more.

The sensation of his hand exploring the curve of your waist is intoxicating, and you can't help the soft gasp that escapes your lips. Connor's other hand moves to your shoulder, gently pushing the strap of your tank top aside to press his lips against the newly exposed skin.

His kisses are slow and deliberate, each one sending a jolt of pleasure through you. He trails his lips down your shoulder, along your collarbone, and back up to the sensitive spot just below your ear. You shiver at the feel of his breath against your skin, your hands finding their way to his back, clinging to the defined muscles as if he's the only thing keeping you grounded.

But, once again, doubts flood your mind. “Connor,” you whisper breathlessly, “We shouldn’t—“

Connor's lips pause their journey along your collarbone, his warm breath teasing your skin. He looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire and uncertainty, mirroring your own conflicted feelings. "I know," he murmurs huskily, his voice tinged with longing. "But I can't stop."

Your mind reels with the intensity of his touch, his lips still igniting sensations you never expected. "Friends don't do this," you manage to murmur, your words strained by the rising desire and the heat between your legs.

Connor doesn’t say anything, but his movements become bolder, his kisses growing more urgent as he nips and sucks at the soft skin on your neck. Eventually, he replies, "Then what are we doing?" His voice is a whisper against your skin.

You tremble at his words, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. "I don't know," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Fuck,” he growls lowly, pulling back slightly and meeting your gaze, “Those fucking noises you’re making. Tell me to stop. Please.”

But you can’t. Not when every inch of your body aches for him.

"I can't," you whisper, your voice shaking with the effort to hold back. "I don't want you to stop."

Connor lets out a low groan, and it’s not long before his hands are everywhere—your waist, your back, slipping beneath your shorts to grip your ass, pulling you even closer. The friction of his body against yours is maddening, each movement sending jolts of pleasure through you. He pushes your shirt up, his hands gliding over your bare skin, and you lift your arms, letting him pull it over your head and toss it aside.

You're both breathing hard now, the air thick with the heat of your bodies. Connor quickly adjusts your position, making it so you’re straddling his hips and you can now feel his erection pressing against your thigh through his shorts. The need to feel him is more overwhelming than it ever has been.

Almost as if he’s read your mind, he pulls away from the crook of your neck, making searing eye contact with you as he gently grips your wrists with both hands and guides them under his shirt, right on his lower stomach.

Your fingertips graze the hard planes of his abdomen, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. Connor's muscles twitch under your touch, and he lets out a soft, shuddering breath. You slowly trace the ridges of his abs, savoring the way his body responds to your touch. His grip on your wrists tightens slightly as he guides your hands higher, up to his chest, before releasing you.

His shirt soon joins yours on the floor, and you take a moment to admire the way the moonlight highlights the definition of his torso. Connor's eyes never leave yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race even faster. You can see the raw desire in his eyes, matching the longing you feel in your own.

You lean down, pressing your lips to his collarbone, your tongue darting out to taste his skin. Connor's hands find their way to your hips, pulling you closer, and you feel the hard length of him pressing against you more insistently. You begin to grind against him, eliciting a deep groan from his throat.

The friction of your bodies rubbing together sends waves of pleasure through you, and you can't help the soft moans that escape your lips. His fingers dig into your flesh, his hips bucking up to meet yours, and the intensity of the sensation makes your head spin. “Fuck,” he groans, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he tries to silence himself by leaning in and sucking on the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck.

Connor’s mouth is relentless against your neck, his kisses and rough nips sending sparks of pleasure down your spine. The way he’s sucking on your skin is so intense, so consuming, that you can’t help but roll your hips against him, seeking more of that delicious friction. His hands move to your waist, gripping you tightly as he guides your movements, his breath hot against your skin. His mouth travels down your neck, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin before he bites down gently, marking you as his and making you gasp. The sensation is almost too much, and you feel a heat pooling low in your belly, your body aching for more. You move your hips faster, driven by a desperate need for release.

One of Connor’s hands slips under the waistband of your shorts, his fingers brushing against the damp fabric of your underwear. The touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, and you can’t help but cry out his name. His fingers tease you through the fabric, rubbing against your clit in slow, deliberate circles that make your whole body tremble with need.

“Connor,” you moan, your voice barely more than a breathless whisper. “Please…”

He looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire, and you can see the struggle in his expression. “I can’t kiss you,” he murmurs, his voice rough with need, “but I want to make you feel good. As friends...”

You nod, your breath catching in your throat as he slides your shorts and underwear down your legs, his fingers grazing your skin in a way that makes you shiver. You kick them off, feeling the cool air against your heated skin, and Connor’s hands return to your hips, guiding you back onto his lap.

The first touch of his fingers against your wetness makes you gasp, your hips bucking involuntarily against his hand. He groans softly at the sensation, his fingers moving in slow, deliberate circles that have you trembling with need. His other hand grips your waist, holding you steady as he explores you, his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body.

You clutch at his shoulders, your fingers digging into his skin as the intensity of the sensation builds. "Connor, please," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own ragged breathing. He responds by increasing the pressure, his fingers slipping inside you, and you let out a moan of pure pleasure.

The world narrows down to the feeling of his fingers inside you, the way they curl and move, hitting just the right spots to drive you wild. His thumb finds your clit, and the combination of sensations sends you spiraling towards the edge. "Oh, God, Connor," you gasp, your body trembling as you cling to him, “Please… I need more.”

He groans, his breath hot against your skin as he leans in to suck on your neck once more. “I would do anything for you,” he murmurs, his fingers moving faster, applying more pressure as he rubs your clit. The sensation is almost overwhelming, and you can feel the heat coiling in your belly, building to a crescendo.

Your hands grip his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as you ride the wave of pleasure, your hips moving in time with his fingers. The tension inside you builds and builds, and you find yourself mumbling out nonsense, “Connor, I’m gonna—“

“Fuck, yes,” he breathes, the desperation evident in his voice, “Do it. Please.”

His voice is a low growl, his fingers plunging deeper inside you. The sudden intrusion pushes you over the edge, and your entire body tenses as the wave of pleasure crashes over you, the intensity of your orgasm taking you by surprise. Your muscles tighten around Connor's fingers, and you cry out his name, your head thrown back in ecstasy. He doesn't stop his movements, his fingers continuing to work you through your climax, drawing out every last bit of pleasure he can. "That's it," he murmurs against your skin, his voice filled with awe.

When the aftershocks finally subside, he gently withdraws his fingers, and you collapse against him, completely spent. For a few moments, the room is filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing and the faint hum of the night outside. Connor’s arms wrap around you, holding you tight as you come down from your high. You can feel his heartbeat against your chest, strong and steady, and it’s a comforting reminder that he’s here with you, sharing this moment. Eventually, he pulls back to look at you, tucking a strand of your hair beneath your ear, and speaks.

“My beautiful best friend.”

[mothbart]

day 12 of kolowv: day 10

my baby @theapocryphaofantares's birthday is in ten days, and because i love him with all my heart he gets a small microfic every day until he gets his big present on his actual birthday.

also thank you to @ninety-two-bees for helping me come up with this, i literally would not know what to do without you.

prompt: temple | bartylus | words: 1,711 | warnings: blood, spiders, self inflicted cutting, blood drinking? i guess?

“I don’t think we should be here,” Regulus murmurs when Barty opens the church doors. “Barty—”

“Come on, Reggie,” Barty says, turning around and facing the other boy with a grin. He’s being cruel—he knows this, but he doesn’t care. “Are you scared?”

Regulus watches him intensely, biting his lip and looking at the church and back at Barty. He’s not stupid, Barty knows that if Regulus had the fucking guts to turn around and leave, he would. But Regulus Black is infatuated with Barty—to the point where if Barty demands Regulus to worship him, he will. Regulus wouldn’t hesitate to fall on his knees and sing his praises to him as if Barty were God himself. Barty could shove bread and wine down Regulus’ throat and tell him that that’s his body and blood and Regulus would swallow—maybe selfishly ask for more because Regulus is full of greed when it comes to Barty.

“No, I just—we’re breaking into an abandoned church,” Regulus answers. “What if we get caught?”

“We won’t,” Barty replies, stepping inside the narthex of the building. “Trust me.”

“I do,” Regulus says softly, slowly following Barty inside. Droplets of water echo around them, the wind blowing hard enough to make doors on loose hinges creak and hit the stone wall with each gust. Barty looks behind him and sees Regulus with his arms crossed, his eyes wandering and looking at everything except for Barty. Cobwebs surround the sanctuary entrance, and Barty feels something pulling him to go in even further.

He pulls down on the webs, watching as black spiders fall to the ground and scatter on the concrete. He stomps on one of them, the slight crunch under his foot, satisfying him. He makes his way into the sanctuary, running his hands on the wooden, dusty pews. He spots a few black books in the hymnal racks and he has this urge to pick one up and look at the pages.

“Barty?” Regulus asks, his voice echoing throughout the sanctuary. “How long are we going to stay here?”

“Until I think it’s time we leave,” Barty grunts, bending down to pick up one of the Bibles. He brushes the dirt off the cover and brings it close to his face, analyzing it a bit more.

“I don’t think we should be touching these things,” Regulus states, coming closer to Barty.

Facing his attention on Regulus, he shrugs. He knows that Regulus is trying hard to keep his composure, so he casually drops the book on the ground, causing a loud thud and a startled jump from Regulus. “I think you’re just being paranoid.”

Barty then holds out his hand for Regulus to take, and when their fingers intertwine, he takes him up to the altar. Barty looks up at the ceiling where there’s a giant hole, the moonlight shining down on them. He looks at Regulus, who is still gazing up at the sky and Barty feels himself falling more in love with the boy in front of him. He brushes Regulus’ hair out of his face and caresses his cheek. Regulus grabs Barty’s hand and holds it on his face, leaning into the touch.

“You’re so beautiful,” Barty whispers. “You’re so beautiful and you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Regulus says.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Barty crashes his lips against Regulus’. He’s kissing him as if he’s going to devour him, and Regulus kisses him back with the same amount of intensity. See, this is one of the few reasons why he kept Regulus around—Regulus always matched Barty’s energy. Regulus lets out a hum when Barty nips at Regulus’ bottom lip. Regulus breaks the kiss, trying to catch his breath and Barty just wants to keep going. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s finding it fucking hot that they broke into an abandoned church and are kissing each other at the altar or what, but he doesn’t want this moment to end. The love that he has for Regulus is blooming in his chest, it’s almost overwhelming that he feels it bursting at the seams.

He wants him.

No one else can have him.

Regulus is his, and will only be his.

Regulus can’t love anyone else, he won’t let it happen. And he’s not entirely sure what’s going on, because sure, Barty is a possessive fuck, but this is a different kind of possessiveness. This is the kind where Barty will do anything to make sure that no one can have Regulus.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Barty kisses him again.

“Do you love me?” Barty asks, his voice low, lips ghosting over Regulus’. It almost doesn’t sound like him, Barty slowly feels like he’s losing control of himself.

“Of course I do,” Regulus replies, a look of concern flashing on his face.

Barty kisses him again, and this time, it’s more aggressive—more hungrier.

“What would you do for me?” Barty asks.

“I would do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“But would you die for me?”

Regulus pauses, and this time he pulls away from Barty—something he’s hardly ever done. Regulus would usually stay put, only moving away if Barty tells him to.

“You know that I would,” Regulus finally says, his voice cracking. Barty can feel the fear radiating off of Regulus, yet there’s still that sense of trust that’s there. It doesn’t falter, and it doesn’t seem close to breaking—Barty thinks that’s a good sign. Regulus is loyal, a believer—a follower.

Barty slides his hand into his pocket, pulling out a pocket knife that he carries with him everywhere. He feels Regulus’ eyes following his every movement. Barty presses his lips against Regulus’ forehead, giving him a soft kiss—the opposite of what he’s been doing. He still doesn’t feel like himself. If anything, it feels like he’s out of his body, like something else is controlling him and whatever is happening, he can’t make it stop. He doesn’t even know if he wants this to stop.

“Prove it to me,” Barty says, his lips near Regulus’ ear. The other boy shivers.

“Prove it to you?”

“Did I stutter?”

“No, I—How do you want me to prove it to you?”

“Kneel,” Barty answers. Regulus looks down at Barty’s hand that still has a tight grip on the knife, and Regulus swallows.

“What are you doing, Barty?”

“You said you would prove it to me,” Barty says, avoiding his question. “Did you lie to me in the house of the Holy Spirit?”

“No—”

“Then get on your fucking knees,” Barty growls. Regulus nods his head and does what he’s told. Regulus looks up at him, batting his long eyelashes at him and Barty’s head is pounding. He can’t shake this feeling. “You’ve always looked so pretty on your knees, baby.”

Barty opens the pocket knife, putting the edge of the blade on the tip of Regulus’ chin, making him look up higher. Barty clicks his tongue, admiring the view.

He knows how to make this better.

Putting the handle of his knife in his mouth, holding it between his teeth, he then rolls up his sleeve. His exposed skin is hit with the cold wind, and Barty can see his veins practically pulsing. He takes the knife out of his mouth and looks back down at Regulus.

“Open your mouth,” he commands.

Regulus hesitates, but he does what he’s told—the perfect listener.

Barty takes the knife and holds out his wrist where it’s angled the way he wants it to be and slowly cuts his wrist sideways. Barty licks his lips as he watches the blood start to fall, and Regulus’ eyes go wide.

Droplets of blood fall onto Regulus’ tongue, and Regulus doesn’t move.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Once Barty feels satisfied, he goes and clamps Regulus’ mouth shut. “I want you to swallow.”

Regulus looks scared now, but he blinks at him. Barty wants to feel it—wants to make sure that Regulus does what he’s told.

“Wait,” Barty says. “Not yet.”

He’s shown him that he's capable of following orders, but Barty wants more.

Maybe Regulus has never been the greedy one between the two—maybe it’s always been him.

He takes his free hand and wraps it around Regulus’ throat, not too tight, but tight enough that he knows he’ll be able to feel Regulus swallow.

“Now, swallow,” Barty tells him.

Regulus swallows and Barty feels like he’s on top of the fucking world.

Here is Regulus—perfect in every single way—doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing.

Worshipping. Praising. Listening. Obeying.

Some blood missed Regulus’ tongue, it lingers on his lips and Barty leans down and kisses him. The taste of iron and the bitterness of it all has never tasted so fucking sweet. He slips his tongue into Regulus’ mouth, dropping the knife while he’s at it. It clatters onto the concrete, and Regulus kisses him back.

After all of that, Regulus is still kissing him. Still loving him. Still obsessed with him in every single way.

Barty pulls away, grinning from ear to ear while Regulus has blood smeared on his lips now, and Jesus Christ.

He pulls out his phone and opens up the camera. The adrenaline of it all is starting to die down now, and the throbbing in his wrist is starting to get to him. He tries to hide the pain, not wanting to make a big deal considering he inflicted it on himself. He points the camera at Regulus, making sure that the lighting from the moon shines perfectly down on him.

He takes the picture, the smile still there.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Barty says, reiterating what he said before.

“Can we go now? Before your wrist gets infected or something?”

“Sure, yeah, let’s fuckin’ get out of here.”

[milky-fixx]

“what, are you scared?”

you startle at the hand on your back, the warmth of his breath on the nape of your neck—much closer than he was mere seconds ago. you whirl around, glowering at your ginger-haired companion.

“not funny, childe!”

the light flickers above you, quick enough to make out the grin on his face, teeth nearly too white against the darkness of the room.

“come now, comrade, you don’t mean to tell me you’re frightened—”

“nope,” you say firmly.

he raises a brow, not for a minute believing in your front. “scared?”

“am not.”

“terrified?”

“no—” you start, but are cut off as something large and hairy drops onto your shoulder. you screech, trying to shake the fake spider off, but stilling once your fingers brush against something thin and stringy.

“please get it off,” you beg childe. he laughs, his fingers deftly undoing the strings of web wrapped around your arm.

“well, since you asked so kindly.”

“is it almost over?” you moan, burying your face into his chest when he’s done. you are fully intent on using him as a shield; it was his idea, after all, to venture into this haunted house. his idea, after all, to see just how brave you were by letting you go first.

“hmm…” he ponders, twining strands of your hair in his hand. he leans in to inhale deeply, before sighing. (childe told you he likes the way you smell, as weird as that sounds. he said it calms him, helps him focus—of course you thought it was strange at first, even joked about him having a scent kink, but he shrugged it off.)

“after we round the corner, i’d say…” you perk up at the thought of nearly being finished with the maze.

“we’re not even close to halfway through,” he finishes.

you deflate. “i hate you for this.”

“you always say that, but who’s still in this relationship?” he says jovially, squeezing your arm.

“maybe this’ll break us up,” you say sourly, glaring up at him. childe turns a curious gaze to you. “giving me a heart attack with all these jumpscares. offering me up as worm food for the zombies. as fine wine for the vampires.”

you sigh, attempting to untangle yourself around him, but his grip, surprisingly strong, holds you in place. with his free hand, he tilts your chin up. he’s frowning, his gaze unusually serious. “do you really think i would let anything bad happen to you? my mate? that’s an insult,” he says, expression somber.

but then he shifts. he smiles, his hand caressing your cheek. “i’m strong, you know that? stronger than you can imagine. it’s my job to protect you.”

in the few months you’ve been dating, you’ve gotten well-acquainted with childe’s capricious nature. he has a knack for being serious in the most unexpected moments, carefree in the next.

but one of the words he says catches your attention.

“wait—mate? what are we, animals?” childe cocks his head in confusion, about to argue with you, but then pauses. you persist. “and protect? protect me from what? the spiders?”

his smile this time seems stiff. childe lets out a bark of a laugh, and for a second, you think you see a flash of teeth too sharp to be human. but you blink and it’s gone. it’s just childe staring at you with a strange expression on his face, as if you’ve seen him—really seen him—for the first time.

“i was just playing monster there. to get in the mood. don’t think too hard about it! it was just a joke.”

“but you know… you really should be careful about what kind of monsters you trust.”

childe clasps his hand over yours, and you jolt. for a moment, it seemed as if his nails were sharper, like claws digging into you. but when you look down, his hands look normal, as they always do.

“you never know what kind of creatures lurk in the night. you just might find yourself in one of their traps.”

[dirtytransmasc]

Mama and papa Neytrir jake au:

Do they bury Spiders old human body? Man how would they all feel about that, especially Neytrir and Spider, dear Eywa…

this prompt actually made me think of jake more then neytiri, so it is gonna lean more toward him, but both are gonna have their moment don't worry. hope you don't mind. this turned out to be so insanely long oml. jake was angsty. also, bending the few burial customs (being completely nude and without any items) we know of just a little for more angst, cause I can. also, I'm letting this whole family finally process the pain they let fester for 5+ years (cause they were hurting long before spider was put into a coma) by having a proper funeral for spider. cause I can.

jake insisted on moving spider's funeral to a few days after his transfer, no matter how many times Ronal and Tonowari assured they and their people could handle both ceremonies in one night, no matter how many times neytiri said they must get it over with so they could move on as a family, no matter how many times spider said he was ready to let go.

cause the thing was, jake couldn't; he couldn't bond his sons soul to a new body and say goodbye all in the same night, he couldn't move on just yet, he couldn't let go. the village wasn't losing part of their child, neytiri got the chance to say goodbye, she allowed herself that when he couldn't, spider had been waiting for this day for years, had plenty of time stuck in his own head to find solace in letting go. jake didn't have the mercy of any of those things, he was losing his baby boy's body that night, a body he never let himself say goodbye to, never let himself once believe he would lose.

he had carried him back from the cove that night, his broken, lifeless, little body tucked close to his chest. spider had always been so tiny, but being in coma didn't help, he lost all his muscle, had withered down to sickly skin and twig-like bones. he kissed the top of his head, held his hands, brushing fingers over his cheeks. he knew he could look over his shoulder and find spider riding with his mom on her own tsurak, but the body in his arms was his baby, the baby he raised. he kissed this forehead each night, he ran his fingers through this hair, rocked this boy to sleep. he would love his son no matter what body he was in or why he was in it, that didn't mean it wasn't tearing a piece out of him to lose this, his boy with golden hair and chocolate brown eyes.

he took him home and laid him in the infirmary, they would wash him tomorrow, prepare him to be returned to eywa. jake planned to go back to their marui, but couldn't bring himself to leave spider's body, couldn't stop fixing his hair, kissing cold hands, brushing fingers over soft cheeks.

spider eventually comes looking for him, having barely shaken his mother off to do so alone. he wanted his dad, just his dad.

he finds him holding his old bodies hand, trying to muffle his own tears, his whole body looked exhausted, like all of the strength spider remembered him having had finally been drained of him.

"hey dad." he spoke gently, not wanting to startle him.

jake turned to look at him, his face plastered with pain, his cheeks wet with tears and his eyes dark. "hey baby boy... c'mere," he held an open arm out to him.

spider immediately snuggled up to his dad, resting his head in the crook of his neck, longing to be held after such a long day. what he wanted more though, was to ease his dad's pain, hated to see him like this, wanted to do something. but what does he say, what does he do.

"how you feeling bud," jake asks, kissing his forehead.

"I'm good, feels good to be um... whole again, I guess. I feel different, but not bad different. I feel right, I felt... wrong when I was locked in my head and wrong when I was locked into my avatar, but now that its my body, I feel right again." he looked up to his dad, trying to make sure he understood what he was saying, hoping that if he understood, he would find the same solace.

jake understood, but he didn't find any solace in it, not that he hadn't already found. jake was happy for spider, he really was, but it was like his brain couldn't accept that fact that there was nothing to mourn, that spider was right here, alive and well, and not cold and lifeless. that the body in front of him wasn't his son, just the shell of him.

he wasn't just grieving someone who wasn't dead, he was saying goodbye to one of the things he had loved most in his life. he didn't even know where the line was.

"dad?" spider's voice broke through his hazy thoughts, "you alright?"

"yeah... I'm um, I'm," he knew he shouldn't lie, spider was sharper than a tack, always saw right through him, "its complicated kiddo,"

"don't 'its complicated' me, talk it out, that's what you and mama have told me over and over again the last few days. spill... I wanna help,"

"spi..." jake really didn't want to explain this to the kid.

"daaaaaaddddd," he wasn't going down without a fight.

jake laughed a little, kid never lost his humor.

"you know I love you right, no matter what, human or avatar or na'vi, I love you?"

"of course I know that? why would you think I wouldn't?"

"cause I couldn't take you home, I couldn't even go back to the marui, I came here to sit with... you or him or... you know what I mean..."

spider nods, looking to the body under the sheet, his body.

"you didn't lose me, I'm still right here, I promise." spider replied.

"its not... that's sorta it but... your mama, she was hopeful when we started making your avatar, she had some worries, but she let herself say goodbye to you, to this body. I couldn't do that, I was... too scared to lose you, too scared to be hopeful, cause if something went wrong... I wouldn't survive it. I didn't let myself look at your new face until the night before," he paused, cupping spider's cheek, "not because I didn't want you, or this new body, but because I couldn't... I was scared, I don't know how to explain it. your my baby, you will always be my baby, my son, but..."

"you raised me in this body, you're gonna miss it, that's ok dad." spider could understand, it wasn't hard. he couldn't imagine if his dad or his mom or even his siblings got human bodies; sure he'd still love them, but he would miss their na'vi bodies.

"I'm mourning him though, instead of being happy that your home. I can't seem wrap my thick head around it," he joked.

"when can you ever wrap you thick head around anything," spider joked back, shoving against him, forgetting that he was much closer in size, sending jake down on his back. "shit, sorry dad..."

"it's ok, I'm fine... it's good to see you got your strength back."

"yeah, I know it had to be... hard, seeing me like that. I haven't even really, looked at myself. it feels, wrong, I guess, to see myself from another set of eyes, my eyes."

"you were always my handsome boy, still are, and always will. no matter how sick you got, you always had that pretty face of yours and that golden hair. I think your mom rebraided it every few days, couldn't keep her hands off of it."

"that's what you'll miss?"

"yeah, not only that, but yeah. I'm gonna miss what made you, you, physically. your golden hair, and that scar on your lip that made your smiles yours, and your eyes that saw the good in everything. it's just hard, saying goodbye to him when I raised him for so many years. he is all I have ever known. I remember when you fit in the palm of my hand, when you were running around in diapers, or when you were just learning to say mama and dada. that's what I'm gonna mess, the little pink face in all of my memories."

he looked at him again, his sunken face and frail body, his long hair curled around his shoulders like a golden shroud. he was so little, jake felt like he should be holding him, like he did when spider was just a baby, stuck in that cold lab day in and day out. spider was always cold, that's why he floated to the sun like a moth to a lamp, but now spider would remain cold until he felt the embrace of his Mother.

"but I have you back now, which means its all worth it, I will say goodbye to him and embrace you."

"I'll miss it too, I got big hands now, I think my braiding days are over," spider spoke with the lilt of a laugh, despite snuggling close to his dad once more, desperate for his comfort.

"nah, you'll figure it out punk. now, go back to your mother, before she has your head for overexerting yourself, I'm gonna... I'll be back home in a minute." he knew it was selfish, to turn the boy away in favour of his old shell, but he knew that spider would understand, that he needed one last moment with his baby before they prepared him for the funeral.

"be quick or she'll be skinning you and not me," he gave his dad one last squeeze before rubbing his head against his dads jaw like a cat, earning a kiss to his now dark locks, before he took off towards the family marui.

spider knew it would take a long time for jake to recover, never once a man who loved change, never one to gamble with his children, not anymore at least. this would not be something he learned to let go of over night, like spider had, in a few weeks like neytiri and his siblings would. jake wasn't like that, hadn't allowed himself a minute of peace, a moment of acceptance in the years he had been asleep. but he knew that his dad would never not love him, will never not see him as his son, it would simply take time to let go of the parts of him he lost. he may not understand what his dad feels, but he knows that he needs him to be strong, so he could heal.

jake kissed his baby's forehead once more, brushing fingers through his hair, urging his body to leave him. he wasn't successful the first, second, or third try, but the thought of going home to his son, not the shell of him, not the remains of him, but the real fucking deal, got him up on the fourth. that's how thing would be now, trying again and again until he could do what was best for his family, he wouldn't make the same mistakes ever again, that was a promise. but there was a promise much more important to put his mind to, getting home, asap, as he wanted to keep his skin.

tomorrow would probably be just as hard as today was, it would hurt all over again, but he did enough AA back on earth to know one damn thing; one day at a time. today might have ended easy, but tomorrow he might feel like he was tied down with a ton of bricks when he goes to get up. he still had his son, his family was back together, and they needed him. grief was always messy with him and this time he didn't have a poison or a new life or a vice to escape to, to forget it. so he just had to hope he had the strength to face it head on.

that decision to get up and be strong when he just wanted to give up into the weakness was all worth it when he entered a pod of glowing but sleepy smiles, his children already tucked into the family pallet, his mate holding their son, and an open space waiting for him to fill. it was all worth it when he got to hold his family, all of them, once more with no fear they could lose spider in the night. this was worth it, even if part of him still ached to be back in the infirmary, back with the boy with golden curls.

~~~

jake and neytiri rose early that morning, before the end of eclipse, just as the first shreds of light began to creep out from behind the planet. they let their children sleep in, watching as they curled around each other; spider at the core.

they would say goodbye today, something that weighed on jake in a way he can't even explain to neytiri, to himself, barely managed to get the basic idea into his son's head the night before. it filled neytiri with a sense of eery peace, one she too felt conflicted by.

both went to the infirmary before any of the healers, even before ronal started her rounds, to see their sons body. jake was hesitant, telling her to go first that he needed to go see norm for something.

she thought he was scared because this was the next step in moving on, but jake was more worried about giving into his cravings; like he was an addict and his son's body was a drug. the only person he could even attempt to vent to was norm, that or he could go to the spirit tree and get yelled at by grace or tsu'tey or trudy. he'd prefer to get yelled at someone from his plane and not someone who's been cold in the ground for years or lost amongst the rubble.

neytiri sat with her son's body, trying to decide how she would present him to eywa. she had the time to braid his hair, but part of her wanted to leave it as it was, long and golden and curly, like rays of sunlight.

she brushed it out, again and again, holding his head in her lap as she did so. she sang her last songs to this body, burned the last of her sons features to her mind. she could understand jakes fear, he was not as much a man of faith as she was, he saw returning their boys former body as a final goodbye, unlike her, who saw this as the next stage in her sons life. returning his body was to give his pain and suffering to eywa, to relieve him of it, and to allow that part of him to rest, no longer weighing what remained of him down. she could still visit him and their memories, together now. while she would miss actually get to hold him, she knew this wasn't the end; she just hoped jake could see that.

~~~

jake was fuming, pacing around the lab, tail lashing. he was already having a fucking conniption before he got there, but to be greeted by norm and his science puke happy-go-lucky kumbaya bullshit really just got him going. he needed someone to see this from the fucked up perspective that was his brain, but no, norm had to a smart ass and go all therapist on him.

"you don't understand norm, it's not that I haven't accepted him, don't pull your psychology bullshit on me, and just fucking listen; I love my son, I love him no matter what he looks like or who he is. I just... I want to see his smiles again, feel his breath against my neck when he sleeps curled to my chest, I want to see the life flash in his eyes just one more time." jake is pissed, anger rumbling in his stomach. he didn't come to norm to be psychoanalyzed and told he needs to move on, smell the flowers, accept that he has his son back and everything is fine, when nothing is fine, not yet, and he doesn't know how to make it fine.

"jake you still have him, count yourself luck-" norm started to interject.

jake almost fucking bit him.

"no, no, don't pull that shit on me. I watched him fade away for years, I held his body in my arms, and I feel like I lost him even when he's standing right next to me. I need someone who will listen to me when I feel like losing my mind, when I'm too stuck in my own grief to protect my family. I came to you for help not for you to fuck with my head and tell me I'm lucky after I watched my son die slowly for 5 and a half years, took my children back into battle of all things, just so I could say goodbye to the body I raised from he was the size of my palm and until he was taken from me by those fucking demons. I love my son I'm just having a little bit of trouble letting go, fuck you for trying to put me down when I came to you for help."

"I'm sorry jake, I just... I don't understand, yelling at me isn't helping," norm was trying to stay cool and collected, not giving into jakes anger, not feeding the inferno blazing through his chest. "talk to me, I'll listen, just explain it to me. calmly."

norm was so lucky he didn't end up with a few broken teeth, cause that's what jake had come in doing, explaining, and now he had to do it all over again, for like, the 10th time in the last 2 days.

he took a long, deep breath, willing himself to stay calm.

"spider has only ever been human to me, and while I am so fucking happy to have him back, blue and all, I raised him in that body. that's the body I fed and held and sang to and took care of. I kissed each and every one of those scars as they healed to make them better. I sat in that cold ass lab and taught him to read and write with those grubby little hands. that was my baby, and sorry I'm having a hard time letting go. spider is still my son, I love him just the same if not more than I did in his human body, I just- I just wish I didn't have to lose him like this, without getting to say goodbye, to have all my 'last times' with that body. I don't get that anymore and it's driving me fuckign crazy... do you get it now?" he left out the 'If you say something stupid I will pound your face in' cause his heart rate was just starting to come down again.

norm nodded, "you feel robbed, you're mourning a loss of opportunity, not him, in a way, I guess."

"its more then that, so much fucking more... but yeah, sure." he wanted to spit the words at him like acid, but didn't. he was exhausted, today would only get fucking harder, so he opted to just leave. "we'll talk when I'm done visiting my boys body... it's like staying sober y'know, to not sit with him all-day, it's like a fucking drug and I came to you because I trusted you to help."

norm looked hurt, genuinely. jake knew he was being cruel, but he couldn't fucking help it, he was angry, so fucking angry. the world was cruel, god was cruel, eywa was cruel. his heart was tearing itself apart, he felt guilty for his own pain and now he was taking it out on norm who had only been trying to help.

"sorry, I'm so sorry... I need to go before I open my stupid trap again, I'm just fucking... I'll see you later." jake started to leave, but norm stopped him at the airlock.

"you're hurting jake, years of sitting and waiting for it all to go wrong, of ptsd from battle, the avatar, it's all crashing in on you and the one bit of normalcy you have that ties you back to spider is his body. I understand now, I understand," norm spoke softly, awkwardly patting his arm as he was still in his human form, "go be with your kid, neytiri. we need to figure something out for when you let go, you hear me? can't have you spiraling like that on just anyone." though the knew norm was serious, there was still a laugh in his tone and a smile on his face.

"shut up asshole... I'll see you at the funeral." he nodded goodbye and ducked out the airlock before norm could stop him. loved the guy, but, he couldn't deal with any more analyzing looks or verbal break downs of his psyche. most of all, he wanted to leave that conversation on good terms, so he could go back to his mate and help her prepare for the day ahead.

~~~

when he returned to neytiri he found spider's hair had been brushed and bound into four small braids, the rest of his hair down. they were fastened in place with dyed seagrass, threaded with pearls and small shells. she had secured pearls, flowers, iridescent beads. she made him beautiful for The Great Mother.

"we must wash him ma'jake, it is time. the children will be awake soon, they will want to make their last visit with him, it's best that he is prepared before they come, so they can leave when they wish with him." she spoke lightly, as if their child dead body was right in front of them. she almost sounded happy, it wasn't fair-

cause it isn't his body. he reasoned with himself, only a shell, nothing to mourn, he isn't gone.

"yeah... I know," he leaned into her, letting her cup his head in her arms, kissing his face half a dozen times before bring him to look in her eyes.

"It'll be ok, ma'jake... I see you, even if I don't understand what is going through your mind. show me, while we wash him." she offered up her queue, connecting it with jake.

they didn't speak, she allowed herself to feel what jake felt as he watched over their son's body. the washing was more a custom in this case, a last intimate moment between parent and child, as spider had been washed quite thoroughly the night before at the transfer.

jake washed spider's hands, painful memories flashing behind his eyes; the first time spider held onto jake's finger, barely able to fit his little hand around it. jake fixing his hold on his bow. clinging onto jakes hand as he coughed horribly from lung sickness. his little bloodied hands scrabbling to latch onto him as he slipped into unconsciousness. withered and boney hands no longer striving for touch. it was almost to much for jake, neytiri tried to lighten the burden, guiding him away from the darker memories, pulling him back towards the memories of the son they had now, the way he held onto jake when he woke up, the way he held both of their hands as they walked out into pandora for the first time, slept with his finger intertwined in their hair.

"it's ok, ma'jake its ok. stay here with me, with our son."

jake nodded, he could feel her understanding him, slowly but surely. the question left her voice. if she understood, then he wouldn't be alone, he could let go and trust he had someone to keep him from trying to follow.

it stayed the same as they continues washing, memories of his face, his smile, his eyes. washing over what had been lost, the places that should have been made of muscle, strong enough to pull back a bow the size of him with ease, to trapeze through the forest like it was nothing, it was all gone now. it almost made it easier, with neytiri's coercing, to accept that they had to say goodbye to this body, spider had no life waiting for him in it, jake should have said goodbye a long time ago, taking a risk at his own heart instead of expecting for his son to return in this form.

after they washed him they painted his body, they knew spider would want that even if he didn't ask for it, dressed him in a ceremonial loincloth, warrior's cummerbund, and placed his knife and sheath on his belt. they tied the string of his bow around his wrist, both whispering the warrior's prayer as they did so, no more arrows must be shot, nor knives be unsheathed, rest now mighty warrior, your task is now finished, The Great Mother beckons you to rest.

when they finished, neytiri praying over him for a short while longer, jake kissed his forehead, gently petting his hair before leaving what he wished with the boy. a few beads made from the trees and stone of their forest home, the leather bands he made from spider's first sturmbeest hunt, and a seagrass choker jake made from beginning to end waiting for his son to come home. 5 war feathers, one for each year spider lost for saving his family.

neytiri tied a final piece of her own around her child's neck, a simple leather band, the bead that marked spider's birth on her songchord hung on it. this was how she would move on.

"we can bring the children now, morning meal has passed, the healers will be in soon. they will come, say their goodbye's, spider will be given a moment to... find closure, we will go to afternoon meal, and then we will wrap him and prepare for the ceremony." she spoke calmly once more, pulling jake down to her level, "then we will go home to our children, our son who is still here with us, and we will finally be together. no more labs, no more masks or batteries, no more leaving him at night, no more. I see you, I see your pain, understand your pain, even if not for myself. I will be here with, he will be here with you, we will heal, but you must let go."

"pänu (promise)?" she had never heard jake sound so weak, so desperate.

"sin Eywa, pänutìng, ma'yawnetu (on eywa, my love)." she held his hands in her's, spider's still in jake's grasp.

jake nodded, gathering his strength. one day at a time.

"goodbye, my sweet boy." jake muttered, leaning to say those gentle words into his child's ear, "I will visit our memories, I will never forget you."

neytiri let it slide, for now, to jake, this body and their son were two different beings, it was how he was coping, she would not strip him of that. one must heal before a vice can be lost.

"come on, let us be with our children." she spoke as she stood, offering jake her hand, and he took it.

he took a long deep breath again. he could let go, he could, he just had to step away. one foot in front of the next, until he was out of the space they kept the bodies, until he was out of the infirmary, until he was back on their marui's side of the village, until he had his baby boy in his arms again.

"hey little man," he forced a wet laugh out of his throat, paying no mind to his teary eyes.

"no so little anymore dad," there was his son's voice, his breath on his chest, warmth in his hands as they held onto his neck. this was his son.

"yeah you are, your like, twelve, don't get ahead of yourself."

"fourteen actually, I'm not a baby." spider used his know-it-all voice, faking the face to keep up the whole act, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows.

jake couldn't help but laugh a little, causing spider to break, falling back into jakes arms, hugging as tight as he could.

"your my baby until I say you aren't anymore, baby boy, same goes with your mother. your our baby and always will be."

"I know, I'm ok with that." spider held on tighter with one arm, reaching for his mom with the other.

the three held onto each other for a long while, long enough for neteyam to join in, dragging lo'ak with him. tuk was always in for a group hug, and kiri knew her fate was sealed when she heard spider calling her name. they ended up in a pile on the floor until ao'nung came to invite the kids to have lunch with them, as he had gotten real close with spider the couple days.

"go eat, then we'll talk." jake sent them off, talking one last long look at spider. it was starting to feel right.

~~~

the kids coped the best, they were more then familiar with change, adjusted better then their parents, quicker too. so seeing their brother's body wasn't as hard.

still, each had their moment. they may not have raised spider, but they grew up with him in this body, and while the loss wasn't tearing them apart inside, there was the sharp realization that this was the last time they would hold him like this.

they took turns, wanting privacy to mourn.

neteyam was first, he held his big brother's hand one last time, saying goodbye to the one person he could fall into when his responsibilities got too much for him to bear. he left him with an akula tooth, one he earned from the many battles he partook in, used seagrass twine to bind it to the braids where they joined together. "guess this is bye, sorta. mom told me that grief is stranger, that we're allowed to miss you even if we have him. that's what dad says he's feeling... I don't know what I feel, or if I'm gonna miss you more then I do right now. but, I love you, and I thank you for the time I had for the time we had."

he slipped a cuff made of ilu teeth, snail shells, and sea glass from ao'nung and tsireya. they weren't allowed to see his body after the cleansing, as it was a family-only time, but they wanted to leave him with something.

lo'ak was second. he was much more rocked by the sight of his brother's dead body. he found tears in his eyes and an aching throat . "didn't think I'd start to miss your ugly mug... was getting sorta used to it not being around- that's not true, I should just shut up and say my sappy goodbyes... I'm gonna miss you bro, your gonna be bigger then me in a few years in that new body, it's gonna totally suck, screw you for that."

he tied his own anklet around his brother's leg, wanting a piece of him to go with his brother. his brother would also take lo'ak's tears with him, as he cried everything, every ounce of pain he had felt in the last 6 years out. he trusted spider to take that pain to the great mother, so they could both be relieved of it.

kiri and tuk went together, both had clung close; kiri was losing the body of her person, tuk was losing her big brother again, neither were taking it well.

kiri was grieving in an odd way; she accepted it, knew she still had her brother, felt no personal attachment to spider physical form outside of the memories she already had. it was more the fear that this was all a bad dream. she dreamed after her seizure, that everything was perfect, that nothing bad had happened. part of that fear linger deep within her, deeper than logic could ever hope to touch. then their the fact she can never visit her memories with him, not without risking killing herself or sending the entire village into a frizzy.

tuk just wanted this to be over. war was over, loss was over, all she need was for spider to be ok. he had his avatar, but now his body was leaving. his pretty hair, the way she was almost bigger than him so he couldn't baby her. she was tired, she had grown up confused and scared, plagued by war and death; spider had only brought that on ten-fold, no fault of his own. she just wanted him back and for him to be happy, that's all that she wanted now, peace.

they planned to be the one's preparing his float, gathering the flowers they would send him away with. but tuk braided him some rings out of flowers and kiri wrapped him in the shall she came to her new home in, though it was know decorated with flowers and shell chips. both of his sisters took their time making sure everything was perfect, they needed it to, because for kiri this was the last time she would see this body, for tuk this was the marked the end of her suffering, of her family's suffering, of her brother's suffering.

"miss you monkey boy," kiri whispered at the end of her prayers, kissing his temple, hand over his now still heart, "take our pain to the great mother, our gifts, let this part of spider's soul rest so he may grow to be a great warrior, guide, healer, whatever she needs of him. rest now brother, so he may move into this new phase of life."

she rose, pushing tuk torwards him, "its your turn now, you need to say goodbye now, I will be outside, be strong, little sister." and with that she was gone. she knew tuk would not speak her full true mind in the company of the living, and that's what tuk needed to do, so kiri left her.

tuk twiddled with spider's too-cold fingers, finding her anger, the fire that burned low in her gut. lo'ak sad he gave spider his pain so he could take her's too.

"it's no fair... you're my brother, he's my brother, why do I have to say goodbye to anything. all I know is war, I'm not even close to finishing my Iknimaya yet, and I have seen war, and death, and fear, and... a-and. I don't want to say goodbye to you because you were my rock; when they all got too old for me, you were there, when the war came, you were there to keep me company when neteyam and lo'ak went out there. then you were gone, and we got you back only for you to stay asleep for years. now your leaving again."

she wanted to scream, and it wasn't fair to spider. he did nothing, he was the only one who never hurt her, not once, not even on accident. but what happened to him hurt her more than she knew how to put into words, even in her own mind.

"ask The Great Mother, will it ever stop? the pain. answer me when I come to see you. I love you, skxawng koak tsmukan (idiot big brother)" she hugged him, one last time, and went to follow her sister.

~~~

spider went to see himself right before his parents, the chief, and the tsahik come to prepare it. to be completely honest he doesn't want to see it. that was the old him and he's not so sure why everyone is so fucking attached to it.

ok, ok... he gets it, but he doesn't get why they need him to be attached. its just a body he lived in for 16 years, and fuck that logic makes it make sense too.

he looks down at himself, what he was withered down to, it looked like this shell fo him could be crushed in the palm of his hand with how small and sickly he looked. didn't help that his body had been dead for almost a day at this point. not only that, but he see's what his family has done for him, adorned him in; the clothes, the jewelry, the shawl, the effort put into his hair, the perfection in the paint.

"this is the one thing I get to be glad about, saying goodbye to you old friend. thank you, Great Mother, for blessing me with this body, both of them, for allowing me to live this long, for allowing my family to be whole once more. but I will mourn this loss, I am ready to rid myself of this body." he spoke surely about himself and his thoughts, he had already found his closure when he thought he would die in that coma, locked away from his family, locked away from it all. he would be ok now.

~~~

jake held his sons body as neytiri and ronal wrapped him in the kelp fibre, both singing songs of remembrance. the infirmary was thick with fragrant smoke, tonowari's hand keeping jake there as the final preparations came together.

there were songs and prayers, final additions, final touches to assure this part of spider passed on like anyone one of The People.

the kids gathered flowers into the leaf basin that would carry spider's body to the cove. ao'nung, tsireya, and roxto helped, they may not have known spider in this body, but they sat by his bed, by their friends as they mourned him, as they went to battle for him. they befriended him in this new body and had learned the stories from their friends, and now were going to help give them all the peace they so desperately deserved.

and just as the sun began to hide behind the large planet, the people of the village gathered in the cove, the float was loaded with spider's body, covered in flowers, and attached to an ilu.

spider held onto tuk and kiri as they followed their parents on their own ilu, easing him baby sister's tears, holding onto kiri's hand as they had to listen to tuk's cries. he watched neteyam and lo'ak ride next to them, neteyam holding onto both of his lo'aks hands where they were wrapped around his middle, his brother laying his head on his back. their parents clearly tear-striken as they held onto one another the entire ride.

spider had known this was more than just a body the whole time, but it was only more clear when his entire family was gathered together while still focused on his body. this was so much more, and not something he alone could ease, this was years of pain bottled up and away, that they were finally getting rid of. it hurt to watch, but he couldn't be more grateful for his 'demon' body in that moment.

as he watched his siblings soak up their last moments with him, fingers grazing through his golden hair, or brushing over his cheek, grasping at his fingers. watched his dad sob over him and his mom's face be filled with this odd discomfort, tears dragging down her cheeks. jake reached for him, lo'ak and neteyam held each other at the surface, tuk clung close to her ilu while kiri held his hand. they watched as spider's hair floated peacefully in the water, golden curleds blending in with the sea grass, the shawl floating aimlessly with the current, spider's face peaceful as if he was asleep. he felt a weight be lifted off his family as they swam him down over the anemone, his body being wrapped in eywa's grasp once more. something in him shifted, a heavy block in his chest finally passed, and he felt free. free from pain and fear, like all he had gone through at the demon's hands, on that ship, in the coma, was no more, just as his body was. no more.

when they wen't home that night, spider held his songchrod close, he had yet to decided how he would continue it, had yet to find a placeholder for this, but he does know, he sleeps peacefully in his family's arms as his mother sings it to them.

today, they moved on, some more then others, and they felt like they could finally breathe.

jake kept spider close all night, close enough to hear his breathing, to feel the air on his chest. he rested his head on top of his kids and assured himself that this was real, that spider was still with him, and everything was ok. neytiri held her child and her mate, feeling as though everything had been set right, the body she loved but let go of was with Eywa, the boy she loved with all her heart in her arms, and for the first time in years, her mate's heart was calm. the children latched to them as well, all desperate for touch and attention after the last few days, tuk between her mother and spider, neteyam and lo'ak stuck to each other once more as they squeezed between their dad and their brother, kiri sprawled out on top of all three of the boys. they slept peacefully that nigth and slept in the next day.

many tears had been shed, more would be as they made their first communions with eywa, seeing their blonde-haired boy once more. their eyes were puffy and red, their cheeks stung, and their hearts ached, but they were ok, and that's all that mattered now.

[bepisbee]

I hope you're ready for more random aus I might or might not write KEKW

This ones a smidge darker also not explicitly described but TW for suicide mention

Blorbos death au rotating on my mind

After the end of four swords (following manga) the goddesses were impressed by shadow links change that they gave him an option: be at peace in death, or come back and serve them. He chooses to serve them in hopes he can come back to link(Vio)

They make him the god of death. Give him the typical hoodie and scythe get up. Only thing that changes about him is that he physically ages as link does until adulthood when he'll stop growing and his eyes have black scleras.

Vio finds out after a magic accident where he dies. He sees Shadow and Shadow sends him back. He's the god of death he does what he wants ™

Vio has several secret "accidents" to see him again and Shadow gets a magic necklace from farore who pities them and is awed by the reckless abandon of Vio's life for just a glimpse of his soulmate. Vio can now always see shadow when he's around. If there's enough death energy shadow can physically manifest for him. Doesn't happen for a long while.

Insert LU situation few years later

Early on ish in the adventure?

They're transported into an empty battlefield. Recently finished maybe a week ago tons of bodies from both sides. Shadow appears they both don't think anyone else can see him physically manifest. Comes up behind Vio, clawed hand up his neck with a soft squeeze and the other around his waist. Leans in real close from behind. A greeting not to startle him and also to give affection. While he's cat rubbing against his cheek and squishing it. Soft little "hello love," because he's with other heroes and they still don't think anyone can see shadow until wind starts screaming. (They were in the back of the groupl

Apparently other people don't see shadow. Only their eras link (the colors) can. So it looks like some fucked up skeleton Eldritch thing is feeling up their archer. Then they're like holy shit it's the personification of death and it's touching Vio who is the group weirdo ™ how isn't he dead he is getting smooched by death on the cheek. (it leaves a lil black lip mark like lipstick would that fades after a few hours)

Only legend and time remain sorta calm and are like "love?? Wtf is happening? Why does the four links look like they've seen a ghost except Vio? Why is this skeleton thing death touching him?? Is Vio dating death??" Everyone else is panik

It takes a LOT of talking the team down and very angry color squad at keeping this from them. At first they all get an abridged version since Vio clearly has not told them he's died. Multiple times. Most of which on purpose. And that he's kinda technically immortal because shadow refuses to reap his soul and just returns it. (Later plot to reveal he hasn't aged at all since the first accidental death where shadow returned him which is why he is the shortest no blue it is not because he doesn't drink his milk or eat properly or get any sunlight )

Cue the "is that why you're so creepy?" From someone with no filter

It also takes a hot minute for them to realize that they are seeing a version of shadow link and everyone else sees skeleton with clawed bone hands

His form dissipates mid convo and now only Vio can see and hear him because the energy's worn off. Cue more slight panik and suspicion over why he can see him what's the actual details before Vio breaks down and tells them the truth about it. Nicely of course.

That he had been using a meld of his earth life magic and shadows old dark magic to try and bring him back and it wasn't working and not that he knew at the time but it was because shadow had been blessed by the goddesses to become their servant and. How it backfired on him and slapped his life away and he saw shadow and then woke up with red spider lilies braided into his hair.

And how he did that a few times and always woke up like that until he woke up alive like that with a necklace and Shadow hovering over him worried and hopeful. And that the necklace allows him "sight into death's door". Accidentally reveals he sees souls of dead people too sometimes if they're strong enough, shy look over at time (mask spirits)

Nooot sure if I wanna take that into a dnd ish warlock type of thing they accidentally made a warlock pact with shadow as his patron?

[luveline]

omg jade for a miguel x spider girl what if they’re spending the night together and she’s sleep talking and miguel is like ???? i sleep talk and it’s silly sometimes 😆

Miguel latches the door lock gently. Your snores echo in the silence of his apartment, huffing things that tell him you're laying on your back before he sees you. You've kicked the sheets down to the bottom of the bed, and your pyjama shorts are falling off of one hip and tucked too high on one leg, exposing the expanse of your thigh. Alarm clock light shines champagne on your skin and the graphic printed on your shirt, the super powered puppy dog you love so much barking one of his catchphrases: Chāojí wāngwāng!

He scrubs at his face. Things are rough lately. He hoped you'd be awake still to talk to, even if it was about nothing at all. He just wanted to hear your voice. 

My own fault, he thinks, walking quietly to the dresser to change into his own pyjamas. They match yours. If anyone ever saw them he's not sure how he'd feel, but they were a necessary purchase at the time. You'd been morose about something, and matching made you happy.

Miguel changes and combs his hair haphazardly. He sprays some deodorant in want of a shower he's too tired for before he crosses back to the end of the bed, taking the blanket into his hands. He shakes it out over you, covering you once again. Then he rounds the bed and climbs in next to you, hooking his arm around you to drag you firmly into his side. 

“Couldn't wait up for me?” he whispers, shifting to get comfortable in the mess of pillows you insisted on. You lift your head like you might kiss him, and for a selfish second he hopes you're awake, but then you breathe out another snore. 

You're heavy when you sleep. He makes sure you're not about to suffocate on his chest and encourages your arm into a more comfortable position. Your chest half on his chest and side, your face in his neck, you look like a rom-com couple from one of your under the desk movies, but Miguel's far less comfortable. He'd wanted to be close to you, but he's wondering if he should've just spooned you. 

“Miguel,” you say, your voice a croak in the dark.

He chuckles in surprise. “What?” he whispers. 

You mumble. He brushes a hand up your face to draw your head back, thumb on your cheek. Your eyes stay closed. 

What the… 

“Hello?” he whispers. 

You don't answer. Perhaps you'd woken for a split second and sensed him, or perhaps you're having a dream. You love to tell him about your dreams in the mornings, occasionally shaking him awake to tell him before you forget. He's always pissed to begin with, endeared by the end, pissed again when he sees the time. 

He closes his eyes and decides he'll miss you by himself for a bit. 

Your voice comes in a muffled squishing atop his chest, “It's his car.” 

He blinks. “That so?” 

“For the commute.” Your whispering turns intense, “He has to drive there, Miguel.” 

Well, in whatever dream you're having, you're talking to him. He quite likes knowing that. “Where's he going, cariño?” he asks, picking the spot on your forehead a moment before he kisses it fondly. 

You make this sound that he only ever hears when you're tired and he's touching you in ticklish places, a gurgle of a laugh as you nuzzle into his chest. “Stop…” you say playfully. 

This is ridiculous. 

Miguel's getting jealous of dream Miguel. Who does that guy think he is? You laugh, say something completely unintelligible, and jolt up hard enough to startle him. 

“Ah!” you say, eyes finally opening, blinking down at him with a slowness that almost looks painful. “...Miguel?” 

“What is wrong with you?” 

“We were… uh…” You blink at him some more, your arm shaking with fatigue where you anchor yourself on the mattress. He slides a hand under your armpit to hold you up. “I think I was dreaming.” 

“You were talking to me.” 

“I was?” You lean down into your hand, rubbing your eyes. 

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I'm just… that was so weird…” You seem strangely unsettled. Miguel helps you onto your back but keeps an arm behind you so he can hold you. You're content to be held, pushing one leg over the other, speaking into his chest. “You were tickling me.” 

“Sorry,” he finds himself saying, giving you a pat. “I won't do it anymore, cariño. You can go back to sleep.” 

“Thanks, Miguel,” you mumble. 

He waits for you to doze off, but your heart seems to be beating too quickly. Maybe dream Miguel drove you both off a cliff. “You want me to kiss you?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” you mumble, tipping your head up. 

He kisses your forehead. A long, slow press of the lips with no end in sight. Invigorated by your contended sigh, he kisses you again, again, these lazy gentle mouthings that barely count as kisses at all as he tugs the blanket up to cover your collar. You make a sound like a hiccup caught in your throat and before he knows it, you're sleeping again. You sleep soundly for the rest of the night, or he thinks so. He falls asleep not long after you with his lips still pressed to your forehead, so there's no way to know for sure. 

[oflightningandstars]

thoughts as I continue reading The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict!!

I had a bit of a reading slump but I seem to be getting back into it.

Under the read more because potential spoilers

I continue to adore kid Nicholas Benedict

"There's my fair hair, so I daresay I'm bare" (page 126) - Nicholas' penchant for rhymes makes it very very clear why upon reading Constance's responses to the test he was like "yes. she must be part of the team" and then subsequently adopted her

Every time there's a description of reading I get so happy.

"Reading so much so quickly was like having great tubs of information poured into his head all at once. It was bound to knock him off balance." (page 138)

"He had been reading intriguing books about electricity and other forms of energy, about light waves and sound waves and radio signals and many other deeply fascinating things, and he had gotten carried away. His mind was so awhirl with ideas that he found himself picturing the Milky Way inside his cranium" (page 163)

I love the image of information swirling around like a galaxy

The treasure.... so I've gotten to the part where Nicholas has gone out into the woods at night to find the observatory, and when he arrived the door was on the ground and the telescope was gone. He still thinks the treasure might be hidden somewhere in the observatory, but my suspicion is that the telescope might have been the treasure in the first place... We shall see

I'm really sad that John isn't speaking to Nicholas currently; he seemed like a decent fellow. Nicholas feeling lonely but still going out of his way to interact with the younger kids (albeit in ways that make them think he has psychic powers) is heartbreaking but also really nice to read if that makes sense?

As a kid I spent a lot of time wandering on deer trails in the woods, so Nicholas doing the same (especially at night!! I always wanted to walk in the woods at night as a kid) made me incredibly happy. I also loved all of the descriptions in that chapter of the woods at night, I might pull out some of my favorite bits later

And the bluff!!! It was so peaceful and the bit at the end of the chapter that goes "When the alarm clock rang... Nicholas felt startled and disoriented... He had the strangest sensation that he was drifting back down to earth, as if he had been up there with the moon all this time. He knew he had to go back. Back to the orphanage, back to the Spiders, back to that prison cell of a room, back to his nightmares. He stood, dusted off his pants, hesitated. And then he set the alarm clock again, and sat down again, and allowed himself just a few minutes more" (page 185, emphasis mine because ahhhhh).

And then the next chapter is immediately the Spiders causing trouble :(

[boneyfaun]

Hi! I saw your Thoma matchup and I was wondering if I could get a matchup also? (Preferably romantic and with a Male character!)

Appearance!

I have light brown skinned but sometimes they can get pale during the winter, I have very dark brown hair / eyes (and in my hair there are a few pieces of bleached parts), I have a few moles (one on my upper lip, two tiny ones on near my right bottom lip and one on my neck), and I have thin almond eyes!.

Personality!

I am very supportive and friendly with close ones, usually I can be stubborn with things most of the time, I wouldn’t say at first when meeting new people I’m shy but just more observing and quiet but overtime I’ll start voicing my opinions a lot more (and sometimes I can be talkative BUT not all the time!), and I have a Divine feminine energy (And I can have somewhat an attitude).

Likes!

I usually like to bake sweets, maybe go shopping here and there, love spending quality time with close ones (we don’t even have to talk and I’ll enjoy the time), My love language is Quality time and gift giving! and reading books and listing to music (and I absolutely love hearing jokes).

Dislikes!

I’m not really fond of loud noises, people with no manners, rude people in general, overly touchy people, Spiders, and FREEZING cold weather!

And a few fun facts!

I can be a bit clumsy, can’t really see far from a long distance, I have a naturally loud voice (so sometimes it startled people when I speak suddenly) and my Favorite color is purple!

ANND that’s about it! Have a lovely day / afternoon / night and a splendid year!!

I know you said you dislike cold weather but I really think a certain cryo user would be fond of that divine energy you mentioned having, so I match you with Kaeya!!

For starters, I do think he would be the first person to understand that quiet does not always equate to being shy. The man has a clear talent for observation and collecting intel in his own ways, so he would easily pick you out for just being attentive instead of socially introverted. I feel that would actually draw him to you too. Kaeya seems like someone to enjoy a good mystery, so he would love to solve the mystery of the pretty stranger he noticed watching him.

Kaeya might not be as outwardly comedic as the other characters, but he would probably think him teasing you counts. He thinks he's funny at least when he gets to see your shocked expression when he throws a particularly open flirt your way. He just really likes to get under your skin in a good way especially if you react in a way that challenges or surprises him. I do not think Kaeya likes submissive and obedient types and much prefers someone who can stand equal to or challenge him. Your attitude would be something he finds very attractive in that regard.

On a less "Kaeya is a flirtatious jerk" note and more of a "Kaeya is an affectionate jerk" one, I do think he would love to spend quieter moments with you. Being cavalry captain is hard work y'know? So little moments just spending time together at home or coming back home and having a surprise of one of your cooked meals? He's simply delighted, even if he shows it in a more easy going fashion. Never expect to much praise from him, but he knows his manners and thanks you for the time you spend with him even on days when he might not be acting exactly himself for one reason or the other.

As a little bonus note, I think Kaeya would very much be the type of person to kiss little beauty marks, he thinks any little feature like that might be his favorite parts on you. Plus it gives him more room to tease you, getting to kiss close to your lips but not quite, and of course playful little neck kisses just for you.

[ailar023]

The tiny spider boy

Chapter 4:

Having the little boy under his care, he did not want to swing with the risk of him falling, luckily some 600m from the abandoned factory, in one of the many alleys, he had left his backpack with normal clothes. He always brought one for any situation.

Delicately he removes the child from between the fabric and the collar of his suit with his index finger and thumb, leaving him on top of one of the many containers that adorn the narrow streets while holding the backpack with the other.

-Wait here a minute, okay? I'm going to change quickly- he tells the little boy while he examines the surroundings so that there is no one walking or a lost animal -I'll be right back-

Watching her walk away, Miles sits shakily as he gazes at his new sight, trying to hold on as he rubs the constant cold on himself -it's a good thing the wind isn't blowing here- he tells himself, otherwise it would be so much worse.

It's not like I have anything else to do at this point; With the first rays of the sun peeking out, he shows this narrow street made of old bricks that extends for kilometers above him, with this size they seem like infinite skyscrapers that touch the sky, and a few large windows adorn it, all with the lights still off, surely the owners of those homes are still dozing.

This makes you wonder what date of the year it is now, being locked up in that seedy prison for so long, you completely lost track of time...

His thoughts are unexpectedly cut off when he hears footsteps, sees a young man walking in his direction and gets completely scared, stopping immediately with labored breathing, trying to find a hiding place, he almost completely forgets that Spiderman went to get dressed and was no longer there.

Wears his suit Peter notices that the boy is startled when he sees him, knowing instantly that he did not recognize him because he was not wearing his mask, making him realize his mistake, he should have shown him his face before leaving, which he did not do for two reasons, first he never First he showed his face to no one, only his beloved M.J, and secondly because he wanted to get to his apartment as soon as possible to take care of the child immediately.

Once again he curses himself internally. In order not to scare the child more than he already was "again", he stops walking and speaks to him in a whisper -hey! I leave you for a minute and you don't recognize me anymore? I'm Spiderman- he says, giving his voice a friendly tone.

Hearing his voice, Miles calms down a bit as he recognizes his savior now without the mask.

He looks like a young man with brown hair and is wearing blue jeans, a navy blue t-shirt covered by a gray hoodie, and is wearing black sneakers.

-By the way, now that I think about it, I've never introduced myself correctly- he says quietly as he resumes his march towards him more slowly. -Tell me little one, what is your name?-

-My… My name is…. Miles Morales- tries to respond as best he can, but his disused vocal cords gave him away making him stutter, and the cold he had didn't help him at all.

It hurts Peter to hear him like this and he realizes that he is shivering again, so he decides to end the conversation to take him to his apartment before people get up and fill the transports to the top. The questions come later.

Resting his right hand palm up on the container, he invites Miles to go up, this time the boy goes up without hesitation and internally thanking him for the heat that his body radiates, once positioned Peter moves his hand to the side of his right pocket, rests the half of the 4 phalanges inside the pocket of the sweatshirt

-I hope you're more comfortable there- he says subtly.

-thank you- Miles responds smiling, barely in a whisper before crawling into the fabric cave to the bottom, he can feel the threads of fabric that are sewn together to create the sweatshirt, once he reaches the bottom, he turns and lies on his back enjoying of the warmth and softness that emanates around him, finally being away from that cold cage prison and that winding and battered place.

Sensing Miles settle, Peter puts both hands in his pocket, the left one going all the way in while the right one halfway in, making the boy jump a bit as he sees the hand balled into a loose fist enter where he is, but leaving enough space for you to be comfortable

-Anything you need, just hit my hand twice- he tells the boy as he begins to walk towards the exit of the alley, taking quick and precise steps until he finds the entrance to the subway. From there he could take a direct line to Queens.

He goes downstairs while keeping the pocket where Miles resides stable so he doesn't wobble, once downstairs he goes to get a ticket in one of the many machines and cranks it, just in time for the next trip, but what he didn't expect is that this train was already half loaded despite being the morning -I hope this doesn't complicate things-

Miles from his pocket can't see anything other than Peter's hand in front of him and the fabric that surrounds him, but he can hear the outside, at first he didn't know where they were going until he recognized the characteristic sound of the cranks turning. entering the subway, followed by the sound of it arriving and opening the doors.

He feels when Peter enters and notices that there are people on the subway due to the constant chattering and the multiple footsteps around him, although where he is now muffles the sound a little, it is still loud for him thanks to his small size, and having been there so much. time alone and without having contact with anyone, this touched every fiber of his nerves and his breathing began to become agitated.

-The sound is too much,- he thought, desperately covering his ears. -Someone shut them up!- he said to himself as he had a small panic attack.

Desperately looking for some emotional support, he hugged the index finger in front of him as tightly as he could while gasping for breath. Peter instantly feels the little boy hug his finger, noticing his altered breathing and slight tremors. He would love to ask her but he can't risk taking it out. middle of the public.

Thinking about how to calm the boy without anyone suspecting, Peter moves his hand a little, making Miles release his finger. He slowly opens it with his palm up and brings it closer until he makes contact with Miles. The boy stumbles up until he reaches the center of the palm and settles immediately, this time without red fabric to separate it and feeling the soft and warm skin of the hero, he feels how the fingers around him close once again in a protective manner.

He is finally far from that icy and dark place, all that toxic environment that surrounded him did not let him sleep in peace, he always had nightmares and woke up at any time, he never knew if it was day or night.

This softness that surrounds him now and the comforting warmth completely relaxes him, he decides to lie on Peter's palm using one of the proximal phalanges to support his head and the rest of his body on the palm, he curls up and softens in the comfort of Your skin is soft and warm, you feel your eyelids getting heavy, you can finally sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time, your whole body begins to relax until you fall into a deep sleep.

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Meanwhile:

-So... let me see if I understand... it turns out that the experiment escaped because ACCORDING TO YOU the old lock broke????- Kingpin barked with venom in his voice.

The doctors who were experimenting on him under his watch were pale as white, fearing the punishment their boss would give him.

-I don't think that happened- responds a distorted voice behind him, it is The Brawler who was examining the cage room with his high-tech mask.

-I can detect footprints of an intruder and barely visible fingerprints on the edges of the lock, as if someone had broken it- says the purple-clad man, making Kingpin turn red with rage towards his scientists.

-You just had to WATCH that he didn't run away and PERFECT IT!!! AND THEY DIDN'T FIND OUT THAT SOMEONE STOLEN IT???? - he shouts at the end of his sentence to the men in white coats, their faces were pale as ghosts.

Even the Brawler himself seemed surprised at the level of fury that the burly man reached now, it is the first time he has seen him this furious.

-It took me so much time and money to develop that serum…. So many failures I had until finally one came out positive... All for a couple of idiots to ruin it," he finally said with a tone of heaviness in his voice while massaging his hair. You better act fast to get it back.

-Prowler- he calls with an authoritative voice, whatever he is going to, -follow the footprints, it can't be very far from here- he orders, barely 15 minutes had passed since the scientists entered to find the cage empty, the thief couldn't be there. very far away, or so I wanted to think.

-Yes, sir- he responds without a word, to which he activates the mask's camera in ultraviolet light to see the criminal's footprints and follow his trail.

As he begins to follow his tracks, Davis is deep in thought, wondering what is this experiment so precious to his boss, he very rarely hides things from him and this is one of them, which seemed strange to him.

He sees that there are several characteristic footprints of the subject along the corridor, and in some points they are cut to what gave him an idea, when looking at the ceiling he sees the ventilation duct and something white on the edge of a pair of grilles in the inside side, in one jump, nails its metal nails into the duct and tears off the end of the grill where the hinge is, leaving it hanging from the white and sticky substance "spider web"

-Sir, I have something, it seems that it was spiderman who stole your experiment- he warns him before continuing his search, entering the duct.

-So it was that damn spider- she hears him say with an angry voice echoing in the metal tunnel.

Another thing that caught his attention is the traces that were inside the cage, they were small footprints the size of a rodent... only they had the shape of a human... that completely baffled him.

His reflections fade when the trail of the masked hero disappears without a trace in an alleyway full of containers, or so it seems, in the same place where the footprints fade, completely new ones appear out of nowhere, as if he had changed, so He decides to follow these new footsteps until he reaches the subway, there he already loses all trace of the young hero.

[thaoilations]

When Mimi didn’t know, she was safe. This wouldn’t be happening. Thao couldn’t believe that it was, and all because of her big mouth.

Well — this isn’t completely true, to say it was all Thao’s fault would be deducting from Mimis astute observational skills, seeing as she pretty much figured it out on her own. Maybe if Thao hadn’t just denied it, Mimi wouldn’t have gone looking and gotten herself into this situation. But that didn’t matter now, she just had to get to her.

The centre of Times Square, the rubble and remains of the carnage caused an hour prior in the big battle left a guilty bite at the centre of Thaos chest as she swung from one building to the next, frantically searching until she saw it — a flash of pink and she was landing with a thud on her feet— the streets deserted despite gaggles of civilians helping others from beneath rubble of tending to injuries. She’d never seen New York so quiet.

“Mimi?” T breathed, bounding towards the girl. Mimi was sat up but slumped over, her spine moving up and down as she took jagged breaths, a large deep gash across her arm. “Shit.” She sped up, dropping to her knees infront of her.

“Thao.” Mimi had the audacity to smile weakly, reaching out and laying a hand on the odd silky material of T’s suit, the web pattern between her fingers. Mimis nose was bloody and her makeup was smudged beneath her eyes. She had a boot print on her dress from being trampled. “I knew it. I worked it out, remember?” She giggled, like she wasn’t fully there and her nose poured a little more blood. Thao didn’t laugh back, she didn’t even smile beneath the mask.

“Why the fuck would you come out here, Mimi?” She sounded in despair and Mimi stared off at the billboards.

“Wanted to see for myself.”

Thao was careful to lift her and swing her to a hospital before leaving her with a nurse. They didn’t see eachother for a while.

4 weeks passed, and Mimi was recovered just fine. She was in her obnoxiously Mimi room typing away on her laptop, a document to a paper titled ‘The Fallout: Our Post Avengers World.’ She leant back on her desk chair, Hello Kitty alarm clock on her shelf reading 01:48.

A knock on her window startled her and she snapped her head towards it, wanting to scream at the sight of a red mask, an equally red hand lifted in an awkward wave — the other hand clinging to the pipe beside her window. Mimi was quick to hurry to the window, pushing it up and letting the masked figure in. Thao ripped the mask off, red hair puffing up slightly. She hadn’t seen her face in a while.

“Hey.” She nodded awkwardly, glancing around the girls room. She’d always hoped she’d make it into Mimis bedroom, just under different circumstances. It looked just how she’d had imagined it— pink and frilly, like the way she dressed.

“You’re — here. That’s cool. How are you? Are you okay?” She stumbled over herself, still not used to the fact her former close friend was one of the worlds biggest heroes.

“Am I okay? The last time I saw you I could hear your ribs rattling everytime you breathed and I spent the next 3 days trying to get your nosebleed blood out of my spider suit.” Thao raised an eyebrow incredulously. Mimi always found a way to downplay her own misfortune.

“Sorry about that. I can reimburse you laundry money?” Mimi smiled jokingly and Thao looked around, shifting on her feet. Something was bothering her. “Whats the matter Thao? Why are you here?”

“I dunno.” She sat on the edge of Mimis bed, picking up a stuffed animal and looking at it distractedly. It was weird and ugly, she thought, and placed it aside. “We haven’t seen eachother in ages. We haven’t even spoken.”

Mimi didn’t say anything, just swayed slightly on her feet. The window was still open and a chill swept in. She worried about the October spiders. There was a silence before she spoke, not moving from where she stood.

“I didn’t think you’d want to speak to me. I thought you were mad at me.”

“I am.”

“Oh.”

They fell into another silence, Mimis heart aching for her friend who she was in love with— sat a metre away from her but couldn’t feel further apart.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna speak to you. Or see you.” Thao crossed her arms. They were being a little childish now, both begrudged over the fact the other one hadn’t reached out first. Mimi realised this and tried to hide her knowing smile.

“Right.” She nodded before coming to sit next to Thao. The red head turned her head to look at the brunette, their faces closer than what they both thought would be. Thao thought about what would happen if she just kissed her. Mimi glanced at her friends mouth, wondering the same for a moment. “I missed you.” Mimis voice was soft, and not in a way you reserved for a friend. It was vulnerable, romantic. Her eyes searched between Thaos— who wondered if she was just making things up.

“I missed you too.” She wasn’t good with words. She wanted to tell Mimi how she’d thought about her every waking moment since she’d left her at that hospital, and dreamt about her too. Her pride and shame gripped her throat like a vice, it would never have even been a possibility to verbalise that for her. How can I show her this? She thought. She wanted Mimi to know how she felt.

Mimis hand crept along side the bed and slid on top of Thaos covered hand and rest there on the bed. Thao was mad she hadn’t thought of that move first.

“I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” Thao blurted out, and Mimi’s hand slid off of hers. Shit.

A pause hung on the air, like someone had pegged the silence on a washing line and strewn it through the gap between them. Mimis eyes were cast down. Maybe she shouldn’t have let in the October spider.

“Oh.” Mimi’s chest felt like she’d taken another boot to it, and she dug her nails into her pyjama shorts.

“I wasn’t meant to say it like that. Sorry.” Thao bluntly state once more. Mimi was having trouble reading her tone. She seemed annoyed but the blue eyed girl was confused as to who she was annoyed at. She looked at her, and Thao was already looking at her, mask in her lap. “I like you in a not friend way. I don’t want to put you in danger anymore as a friend. I want to be with you.” She admit, and T wasn’t the type to get embarrassed but her face felt hot.

“I think I love you.” Mimi spoke after a pensive silence and Thao scoffed, rolling her eyes. Always the type to one up her.

“Well I didn’t wanna say that and scare you off. ‘Thought I’d ease you in.” Thao laughed and Mimi giggled, the tension from the road dispersed hard and fast like beads on a broken bracelet. Their shoulders touched as Mimi leaned more into her.

“What a relief.” Mimi smiled and it set them off again, having felt like they hadn’t laughed in weeks. Come to think of it, they hadn’t. They wasn’t too sure where to go from there, not being able to look at each other without breaking into a cheek busting smile. They wouldn’t rush to a kiss just yet, but they didn’t need to. For the first time in a while, and just for a moment, things were perfect.