#Guys do you think i’m autistic yes or yes

[jeffreely]

meant to be him from memory but it kinda devolved into him if he had too many headcanons

so what the hell . sure

Buddy Stimming …

please don’t burn my house down because my first post here in a while isn’t ghs related PLEASE 🙏

[cb-writes-stuff]

“You can’t enjoy being neurodivergent/disabled/having X disorder if it makes you suffer so much! How dare you be making jokes about it!!!” Well you see, your bad days only suck a little bit so you don’t appreciate the good days very much. My bad days suck so much worse, so I only appreciate the good days that much more to compensate.

[kissingfinelines]

me omw to smack someone with a comically large mallet bc they said “Nanami would have no idea what My Chemical Romance is!”

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

I have no clue how this guy hasn't divorced his wife. If my partner looked at me with disgust about anything that wasn't literally disgusting, I'd be googling "divorce lawyer."

by Sam Williams

A week ago, my wife and I went to John Lewis to look at air fryers. As we entered the store, I put on an FFP3 mask because of Covid. My wife looked at me in disgust and said, “Oh, you’re wearing a mask?” I replied, “Yes. There’s a lot of Covid around, and I don’t want it. Do you?”

She responded, “Well, the trouble is, I’m not wearing a mask”.

I said, “Yes, I can see that. I wish you would. The trouble is, every time I’ve caught Covid, it’s been from you. I’m disabled with long COVID, and every time I get reinfected, it makes me really, really ill”.

So here’s my question: does my wife not care?

I want to use this piece to spark a debate about who we are as people. Are we kind and virtuous, or are we selfish and indifferent? Writing an article about what stops people from wearing masks, while I live with the pain caused by my wife not masking, feels like an oddly meta activity.

That’s right, folks: it was probably my wife who gave me Covid in the first place. Although, to be fair, neither of us knew about masking or long Covid back then.

The case for masks amid rising Covid I need people to wear masks or ensure clean air so it’s safe for me to go out—especially in healthcare settings. Yet, most people refuse. I asked my wife why she doesn’t wear a mask, and she said, “There’s no point, because nobody else does.”

I understand the futility in her statement. Many people don’t wear masks simply because they don’t care or because they think Covid is over.

If my wife were a cruel or unkind person, it would be easier to accept her refusal to wear a mask. But in my experience, even many kind people—even those on the political Left—can be cruel when it comes to disabled individuals.

Although my wife has struggled with my disability, she is generally a kind person. In my autistic brain, it seems perfectly logical that she should wear a mask to protect me from airborne viruses. Yet, logic loses when it comes to personal choices and disability.

Misconceptions about Covid and masks People think Covid is “just a cold.” Some even believe masks themselves make you ill. I think people don’t mask because of ableism and because they’ve been conditioned to associate masks with the pandemic itself.

It’s the same conditioning that leads them to blame lockdowns and vaccines for Covid, rather than recognising these measures were designed to mitigate its spread.

When people see me in a mask, they’re reminded of the acute phase of the pandemic. My presence confronts them with an uncomfortable truth: their refusal to mask contributes to the deaths and disabling of others. It reveals they may not be as caring as they like to think.

I wish more people would remember the Covid dead and choose to wear a mask to prevent further loss of life.

Why people don’t mask The biggest reason, I believe, is a failure of public health communication over wearing a mask. The government declared Covid “over,” and most people still trust what they’re told. Many would resume masking if asked, but the government is too afraid of the right-wing media and too indifferent to disability to make that request.

Then there’s the pervasive idea of “health supremacy”:

The belief that only people with pre-existing conditions get long Covid.

The notion that a “healthy” immune system can fight off the virus.

The argument that we don’t need vaccines or other preventative measures.

Some even suggest that “living your best life” and going out for brunch are more important than protecting loved ones. The low mortality rate of Covid is used as justification, with a dismissive attitude towards the elderly and those with long Covid.

Many fail to consider the quality of life endured by those with long Covid or the rising number of children affected. Parents, it seems, don’t care enough about their kids, or they’re unaware that long COVID in children has doubled in the past year.

There’s also peer pressure and groupthink. No one wants to stand out by wearing a mask. “If it were really unsafe, wouldn’t everyone else wear one? Wouldn’t the authorities tell us to mask up?”

When I do convince others to wear masks, it’s usually a flimsy surgical one—barely adequate protection.

The personal cost of not wearing a Covid mask If we continue as we are, everyone will eventually develop long Covid. Those who still mask are only delaying the inevitable because we’re so outnumbered.

I know people who’ve lost friendships and family connections over masking. Others restrict their contact with loved ones to stay safe. Some have even been lied to by family members about masking.

And all because people must have brunch.

It feels grossly unfair to be forced to choose between family and health. For me, it’s not just about Covid. With a weakened immune system, other airborne viruses are just as harmful. Every cold or similar illness sets me back by months.

The fatalist in me whispers: stop masking. If no one else is wearing a mask, why fight it – just let long Covid take me. Every reinfection only worsens my condition.

A systemic failure The government—New Labour or otherwise—has shown little interest in preventing the spread of Covid or developing treatments for long Covid. The societal denial of this reality is overwhelming.

Until we build a society and government centred on community and care instead of selfish individualism, we’re doomed. Is thinking of others really too much to ask?

If only long Covid weren’t an invisible disability. If it caused something visible—like the loss of a limb—perhaps people would be forced to act.

The point of wearing a mask: not just for Covid Here’s why masking matters:

It reduces your viral load if you get infected.

It sets a good example for others.

It shows courage and strength.

It protects vulnerable people, including the disabled, chronically ill, and immunosuppressed.

It proves you have empathy and intelligence.

[trustmypoison]

SVT with an autistic partner

Requested? Yes!

Genre: just a ton of comfort

Seungcheol 

Totally lets you practice conversations with him. It took a single time of you being anxious about making what feels like a simple phone call and he’s getting to the bottom of it. When you tell him that sometimes you’re intimidated by carrying conversation and tend to overthink it, he simply asks you to pretend it’s with him. You think he might make fun of you, but he’s gentle about guiding you in what to say to certain things. Now it’s common practice to ask him to rehearse something with you before you do it, but if it ever gets to be too much, he’ll just pick up the phone and make the call for you, no problem.

Jeonghan

Now this is a guy who has an emotional support sword, so he totally gets the need to fidget. It’s grounding and helps him focus, so when you’re out to dinner with friends and he notices you’re not really present, he’ll put an extra straw or chopstick in your hands to twirl. When you ask him later how he knew what you needed, he brushes you off. He’ll always find you something to fidget with, even if it’s his own hand or hoodie string. You find yourself just reaching for him rather than anything else if you feel that particular feeling coming on, and it makes him smile that you feel comfortable depending on him like that.

Joshua

I’m so sorry, but I just love the idea of Joshua being kind of crafty. He notices you’re feeling a little overstimulated one day and pulls you to the table, putting a coloring book and colored pencils in front of you. You look at him, almost offended, because you are an adult, damn it!!! But he asks you to humor him, picking out two pages, one for you and one for him. It does wonders, giving you something to focus on in a time of internal chaos. You lose a lot of time to it and when you finally check back in, he’s smiling lovingly at you, asking if you feel a little better. It’s a regular habit now to sit and do something like this just because and you’re touched that he seems to enjoy it as much as you do.

Jun

He notices that sometimes you’re avoidant of conversation with others, and one time he asks why. You admit that sometimes you feel like you misread or totally miss social cues and facial expressions and it makes you anxious thinking about how you might butcher a seemingly simple conversation. But listen. He’s the perfect person to tell this to. Sometimes, before bed, he’ll make faces at you, sometimes subtle and sometimes not, and then ask you to read them. You’re embarrassed by this at first, but eventually you come around to this little game because he’s so gentle about guiding you, telling you what to look for. Furrowed eyebrows = confused or angry. Blushing = embarrassed or shy. Tight jaw = stressed or angry. It lets you learn it in a safe environment and you find that the longer you do it, the more comfortable you are in conversation in daily life.

Hoshi

This is so simple. He’s a yapper!! He’ll do all the talking in social settings and doesn’t force you to participate. If you do happen to be pulled into conversation, he’s quick to give you an encouraging smile, but he’s also quick to give you an escape by changing the subject if he can tell today is just not the day. But at home, he’s the listener because he always tries to find the things that you like to yap about. He’s aware that you do a lot of listening in day to day life, and in the privacy of your home, it’s his turn to listen. 

Wonwoo

Whereas Joshua helps you find hyper fixations, Wonwoo helps you control how much time and energy you lose to those hyper fixations. Interests are good, he tells you, and he’d never change anything about you, but he will not let you stay up all night. He will not let you skip a meal. He will not let you forget the important things. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he’s so so gentle about it. It’s all ‘Baby, come eat and tell me about it’, or ‘Baby, come to bed and tell me about it’, or ‘Baby, you need to go get ready for work, but tell me all about it later, okay?’. It brings balance to your life that you didn't realize you desperately needed. 

Woozi

Cliche, I know, but his studio is his hide out from the rest of the world. The catch is that it can also be yours. Sometimes, it’s nice to just come in and disassociate for a while after an overwhelming day and he lets you do it in total silence with headphones on if you want. But sometimes, he’ll pull you over to sit next to him and put his headphones on you to listen to something he’s working on. One time, you told him that you found his music and his voice relaxing, so he thinks about that when he makes what he makes. He likes that you use it for comfort and it motivates him. 

DK

You’re putting off doing something like going to the post office to mail something. Seokmin notices that this package has been sitting there for a while and asks you about it. When you admit that you don’t know how the whole post office thing works, he asks you to explain what you mean. Kind of embarrassed, you admit that you don’t understand the structure of it. Where’s the line? What do you say when you get up to the front? What kind of questions might they ask? Is there anything you should be asking them for? This sweet, sweet man makes you get up and physically act the whole thing out with him in the comfort of your living room without a single laugh. You’re still nervous the next day when you go and finally mail this stupid package out, but Seokmin enthusiastically cheers you on when he notices it’s gone later that night. 

Mingyu

He notices a few quirks since living with you. For example, you can’t simply do the dishes. When he asks why you unloaded the dishwasher, but didn’t empty the sink, he isn’t trying to be mean, but he doesn’t understand when you say it’s too big of a job to do in one go. He asks what you mean, and you explain that it’s not just ‘doing the dishes’ for you. It’s unloading the dishwasher, and putting the clean dishes away, then loading the dishwasher with dirty dishes and getting into the cabinet to get detergent and fill the little compartment with it. Then it’s starting the dishwasher and putting back the detergent, only to have to do it all again tomorrow. His eyes widen a bit at your rant, but then he sweetly says, ‘Okay, baby. Do it however you need to’. He’ll never say anything about it again, but it doesn’t stop him from just doing the dishes amongst other chores himself the next day because he doesn’t want you to stress about it like that. 

Minghao

One time, after not seeing you for a little bit due to busy schedules, Minghao asks how you’re doing. You say you don’t know. He quirks his eyebrow. “Don’t know as in Not Good?” You shake your head. “No, I just don’t know.” He carefully asks questions, seeking to understand, and realizes it’s not that you don’t feel anything. You just don’t really know how to put a name to it. After that, some date nights feel a little bit like therapy, just short of the ‘and how did that make you feel?’ For example, you tell him about a rough meeting at work that day and he asks, “Did you feel frustrated by it?” You think and finally say, “Yeah, maybe”. Over time, it turns into an ‘I think I’m frustrated’ and then finally a definitive ‘I’m frustrated’. He’s really proud that you can express yourself more clearly because that means he can help you more.

Seungkwan

You don’t do well with change, and he totally understands it. When he goes away for work, he understands that it breaks your routine in a lot of ways. He starts by giving you a heads up as soon as he knows that some travel is coming up, putting it on a shared calendar - both physical and electronic. In the weeks ahead of this trip, he’s reminding you gently, “I leave in a couple weeks”. It’s not to be mean, anything but. It’s to help you mentally prepare for the incoming change. He helps you in little ways in those couple weeks, making sure you have your alarm set automatically, making a meal plan to stick on the fridge and scheduling a grocery delivery with everything you’ll need for it, putting gas in your car in case you need to use it, etc. He also asks you what you’d like to do with your down time while he’s gone, suggesting a binge of a book or TV series that you liked before. He knows you’re not a child and would never treat you as such, but he wants you to feel comfortable going about life as usual when he has to be gone and can’t be there to do those little things for you himself. So he does everything he can to make sure that everything else is as routine as possible. 

Vernon

One of the things he loves most about you is that you guys can just coexist in the same space in total silence. It’s not unusual for you both to sit on opposite ends of the couch, headphones on, doing your own thing. And sometimes, he knows this is your preference to not really talk out loud. Still, he’ll text you to check in, even if you’re just a few feet away from him. Sometimes you have entire conversations through text like this and he really, truly doesn’t mind. There’s something intimate about it for him in a way he can’t really explain, and he likes that you’re comfortable with that mode of communication, even if you’ve had a hard day. Yeah, you’ll have to pry his phone from his cold, dead hands for this reason alone. 

Chan

One night, you tell him you’re feeling pretty anxious. He doesn’t ask why, but he can tell your nervous energy isn’t going to just go away anytime soon. So, he offers for you two to go to the gym. You gape at him. “It's the middle of the night, Chan.” “And the gym is open 24 hours. It’ll probably be empty. Let’s give it a try, maybe you can work off some of your energy.” Midnight trips to the gym are a regular thing for you guys now, because he was totally right. It’s usually empty and it does help shut off your brain enough to go home and get some sleep. You feel bad about it sometimes because of the hours he keeps for his job, but he won’t hear anything about it because he’ll go with you to do anything to put your mind at ease. 

[fatliberation]

One exhausting thing about being fat is the endless understanding and forgiveness you have to have to maintain any personal relationships. I overhear my mother saying how disgusted she is by fat Autistics. I’m a fat autistic. I can’t say anything about how deeply hurtful this is without being sensitive. My friend says only fat people will die of covid, so it’s not such a big deal. So I don’t deserve to live? Or the classic:“Ew I’m getting fat”. If you start a fight each time someone around you implies you don’t deserve life or your body is vile, you’ll spend your whole existence arguing.

I empathize with this so much, anon. My family (and some friends) are SO deeply invested in diet culture and fatphobia. I have a parent who is a lobbyist for the pharmaceutical company that sells ozempic and wegovy, and no amount of education or asking for human empathy will change their mind or make them treat me better. It's a hard reality to accept that you can't change everyone's minds. and it is so, so tiring and emotionally exhausting to have to advocate for your existence 24/7. I get burned out doing it too often. The thing is, you don't have to offer endless forgiveness. I'm currently working with my therapist on what to do about this, and the unfortunate solution is to set harsh boundaries (yes, even if they will never understand it or think I am too sensitive, or crazy... it is VERY uncomfortable but I am working on being okay with being misunderstood!) and distance myself from people who refuse to respect said boundaries. Next time my parent berates my food choices, tells me I'm going to die young, or compares me to an anti-vaxxer for not losing weight, I'm removing myself from their presence and tell them these types of comments are driving me away. If they want me in their life, they'll learn to respect me. It hurts, and it's so fucking hard when it's immediate family.

As for non-familial relationships, I've curated my social circle to (mostly) friends who are fat positive and it's one of the best things I could have done for my wellbeing. If I meet a potential friend who starts spitting some fatphobic bull, I avoid hanging out with them from the get-go. I've met most of my fat positive friends in social groups made for fat people, check out facebook groups to see if there's any fat community in your area!

Tbh I have always had this idea of carrying around little pamphlets or cards that are like fat liberation 101 for strangers, I would keep them in my pocket to hand out to someone who says something fatphobic to me so I can avoid confrontation (and exhaustion)... if I made those would you guys want them? 👀

[winchesterwild78]

Unspoken Words pt 2

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, other characters

Warnings: Fluffy goodness, and Jensen being such a sweetheart.

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but he’s such an amazing kid. 

This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story. 

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated. 

Minors DNI 18+

Lily woke up not long after the text exchange. She seemed more relaxed. Lily began looking around when she woke up. I noticed she started to get upset. 

“Lily, what’s wrong baby?” She grunted. “Dean, Jensen.” She said with sadness. “Oh baby, he said he’d be back, he had to go, but he’ll be back soon.”

“Go?” She asked, her eyes wide. “Yes baby, he had to go meet other people.” She crossed her arms and pouted. Sarah and I chuckled. 

A few minutes later Jensen returned with our photos in hand. Lily saw him and immediately jumped off the couch and ran to him. 

She landed against him with a thud. Knocking the wind out of him. He laughed, “It’s good to see you again too, Lily. You look rested.” He smiled at me and then down at Lily. 

“I have the pictures. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to autograph them or not, but I’d be happy to.” He handed them to me and they were perfect. Well, the one with Lily and Jensen, mine not so much. I always hated having my picture taken. 

I sighed a little, but didn’t think Jensen heard. “Everything okay, sweetheart?” “What? Oh yeah. You two look great in these.” Jensen looked over my shoulder, “You look beautiful in that one too.” My cheeks burned red. “You’re just being nice, but thank you.” 

Jensen turned me to face him, “No, Y/N. Don’t do that. You’re stunning and anyone would be lucky to be with you.” I bit my lip as he pushed my hair behind my ear. 

My heart pounded in my chest. Everyone else in the room disappeared. “Jensen, back!” Lily squealed, breaking our eye contact. 

I showed her the pictures and she took the one with her and Jensen and sat down with it. She was giggling. 

“So what are you guys doing later, after the convention ends tonight?” “Well, I’ll probably take Sarah home and then take Lily home. She’s going to be overstimulated for sure and I want to make sure she’s okay for tomorrow.”

“Oh okay, I get it.” Jensen sounded and looked a little disappointed. Sarah stepped up to us, “Why? What are you doing tonight, Jensen?” “Sarah! That’s not our business.” I shot back at her. 

Jensen chuckled, “It’s only fair, I asked you first. Sarah, I was planning on grabbing something to eat and maybe drink before heading home. I was going to see if y’all wanted to join me, but I completely understand. Lily definitely needs to decompress.” “Well, I don’t have to go home. I can stay with Lily if Y/N wants to go out with you.”

I shot Sarah a look and she smirked, shrugging her shoulders. Jensen smirked at Sarah and then looked over at me, “Well, what do you say? I can pick you up at about 8.”  

I looked over at Sarah and then back at him, “Um, sure. If you want to.” Jensen stepped closer, “More than you know.” I nodded and blushed. 

The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. Lily was reaching her limit so we decided to leave. I sent Jensen a text to let him know. 

Me: Hey. Lily is at her limit. We are heading home. If you change your mind about later I totally understand. Thanks for an amazing day and we will see you tomorrow. 

Jensen looked at his phone and smiled. 

Jensen: I understand. I haven’t changed my mind about tonight. 8 can’t get here fast enough. I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight. 

Me: Me too. Dress code? 

Jensen: Something comfortable. I’m taking you to my favorite BBQ place in Austin. 😉

Me: Oh I’m intrigued. I’ll see you later. Have a great afternoon. 

Jensen: You too, sweetheart. 

My heart fluttered in my chest and I couldn’t stop smiling. Sarah looked at me and chuckled, “Seems like Lily isn’t the only one enamored with Jensen.”

I laughed, “Well it’s your fault, you offered to babysit so he could take me out. What was that about?!” 

“Hey, not only am I the best aunt in the world, and the most amazing friend, I’m an incredible wingman too. Besides I saw how he looked at you and you looked at him.” 

I smiled, “Yeah. He’s incredible and Lily loves him.” 

I drove us back to the house and Lily kept a grip on her picture. I knew I needed to frame it before it got messed up. I just had to figure out how to get it from her long enough to do it. 

Once inside the house Lily went to play in her room, her picture went with her of course. I sighed. “I need to get the picture away so I can frame it. Any ideas?” I asked Sarah. 

“We can take the frame to her and tell her we need to protect it and have her put it in the frame.” I nodded. The idea was great. I just hoped it would work. 

“Hey, Lily baby. I have this frame for your picture. We need to keep it safe so it lasts forever. Want to help me?” 

Lily looked at the picture and then the frame. But she didn’t move. I took a deep breath. 

“I promise baby you can have it right back.” 

She took the frame and I helped her lift the locking tabs. She slid the picture in, but held onto the frame. I put the back on and locked the tabs. 

I helped her turn the frame over and she smiled. “Jensen” she said looking at it. I nodded, “Yes baby. Jensen and Lily.” 

She pointed to the picture, “Jensen, Lily. Stay”. 

The “stay” part confused me. I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure what to say. 

Sarah came into the room, “Okay, girl it’s 6:30. You need to get ready.” I took a shaky breath. I was so nervous. 

I was ready by 7:30, but kept checking myself in the mirror. “You look beautiful, Y/N. He’s not gonna know what hit him.” “Thanks, Sarah. I’m so nervous.” 

She smiled, took my hand and told me to breathe. “You’ve got this sweetie. Think of him as a regular guy.” 

The doorbell rang about 10 till 8. Sarah smiled at me and I nodded for her to answer the door. He stepped in the house and damn was he gorgeous. Dark jeans, a buttoned down shirt, and his boots. 

“Wow, look at you, darlin’.” He said as he saw me. I blushed, “You look great, Jensen.” Lily heard his voice and came running in the room. “Jensen” she squealed as she threw her arms around him. “Hey Lily. I got something for you sweetie.” He handed her a bag and she took it to the couch.

“Jensen, you didn’t have to get her anything.” “Of course I did. She’s letting me take her mama on a date.” My eyes went wide. A date? Did he say date? My breath hitched. 

She opened the bag and pulled out a stuffed squirrel and moose. I chuckled. She held them both tight. “That was so sweet of you, Jensen.” “It was Clif’s idea. I wanted to bring her something and he said he saw her looking at them.” 

“I’ll be sure to thank him when I see him.” He nodded, “Shall we go?” I nodded and gave Lily a hug and kiss goodbye, “You be good for Auntie Sarah, I’ll be back later.” 

As Jensen walked towards the door Sarah stopped him, “You take care of our girl or I’ll kick your butt.” He chuckled and I turned red. “Sarah!” Jensen looked at her and smiled, “Yes ma’am. I plan on treating her the way she deserves.” “You better!” She laughed. 

I was so embarrassed. Jensen and I walked towards his car. His hand on the small of my back. “I’m sorry about Sarah. She’s always been so protective of me.” “Don’t be sorry. It’s great to have friends that are protective. It means they really care about you.” 

He opened the car door and I got in. My heart was pounding in my chest. Jensen climbed in the driver’s seat and looked over at me and smiled, “Ready?” I nodded and smiled. 

We headed toward the restaurant and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He’d glance over at me and then back at the road. “I really appreciate you taking me out tonight. Sorry Sarah and Lily couldn’t come. I just knew Lily wouldn’t be able to handle going out after being out all day.” 

“It’s okay. We’ll have to figure out something next time. I’m sure I can find some sensory friendly places we can take her.” 

I turned and looked at him. A smile stretched across my face, “Jensen that’s really sweet of you, but you don’t have to.” “I know, Y/N. I want to. Sorry, but Lily and I are like besties now. You two are stuck with me.” He winked and I laughed. 

“Oh besties, huh? Well excuse me. I had no idea.” He laughed, “Yeah, we bonded over her love for Dean, and me of course.” “Oh of course.” We laughed and as he parked he looked over at me and took my hand.

“I love hearing you laugh. I’m sure it’s really hard being a single mom, but Lily is a great kid and you are so great with her.” 

“Thank you, Jensen. That means a lot. I love her so much and wouldn’t trade my life for anything.” 

“Are you ready to go in?” He nodded towards the restaurant. “Yeah, I’m starving.” He took my hand in his as we walked in. The place was busy, but Jensen led me towards a back room. “This is my buddy’s place. He lets me have this room when I’m here. I called ahead.” I smiled, “Wow, color me impressed, you know the owner and you have a secret room.” 

He laughed, “Yeah, it’s great for being alone and hiding bodies if I need to.” “I knew it. That must be why the BBQ is so great here.” Jensen’s head fell back and he laughed loudly. That famous laugh you see him do when he’s really enjoying himself. 

“Come on darlin’, let’s sit.” Jensen pulled out my chair and we sat down. The food Jensen ordered for us came and as we ate we talked about any and everything. The night wore on and Jensen talked about Radio Company and how he was excited and the upcoming shows. 

He paid the bill, even though I offered to pay for my half. “Now what kind of date would this be if I had you pay? Nope, this is my treat.” 

We headed towards the car and before we got in we stood outside for a minute. “Jensen, I had a really great time tonight. Thank you.” He stepped closer, I could smell his cologne and whiskey on his breath. He licked his lips and I licked mine and swallowed hard. 

His face inches from mine, our lips ghosting against each other. My heart is beating loudly in my ears. “Can I kiss you?” Jensen asked softly. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

Jensen leaned in and his lips pressed softly against mine. The kiss was soft and gentle. He pulled away and looked in my eyes. His hands slipped behind my neck and into my hair, pulling me close to him and he deepened the kiss. 

His tongue licked my lip and I opened my mouth. His tongue found mine and they began dancing and fighting for dominance. I moaned into his mouth which spurred him on. His body pushed mine against the car and he kissed deeper. My hands on his biceps trying to ground myself. 

My lungs screamed for air but at that moment Jensen’s lips were giving me all the oxygen I needed. Then the shrill sound of my phone pulled us back to reality. 

Jensen let go and I grabbed my phone, panting. “Sarah, is everything okay?” I could hear Lily in the background crying. “Y/N, I am so sorry. I can’t get her to calm down. She’s been crying for over half an hour.” “Did she get hurt? Do you know what set her off?” 

“No, she had the stuffies Jensen bought her and her picture. All she said was “Jensen” and started crying.” I looked up at Jensen and he opened the door for me. 

He ran to his side and we took off towards the house. “Okay, I’m on my way Sarah.” I hung up and looked at Jensen.

“Is Lily okay?” He asked with concern in his voice. “Yeah I think so. She’s having a meltdown and Sarah can’t get her calmed down. She’s apparently asking for you.” 

He smirked, “Sorry.” “No, don’t be. She doesn’t understand you’re not here forever. She’s going to have to get used to the idea that meeting you was just meeting you. You aren’t staying in our lives forever.” 

I noticed his body language shift when I said that. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you’re a celebrity and we’re not family, so the likelihood of you coming by on weekends and special events are very slim.” 

“No I get it, you don’t have to explain anything to me.” My heart broke at his tone. I didn’t mean to upset him. 

I reached out and touched his arm, “Jensen, please. I’m sorry.” Tears pricked my eyes and I tried to hold them back, but they fell. I turned and looked out the window. I slid as close to the door as I could. 

What the hell did I just do? Everything was going great, and I just screwed it up. Lily deserves better than this. Now he definitely won’t stick around. 

“Did you say something sweetheart?” I whipped my head and looked at Jensen. He saw the tears falling. “Hey, shh. Don’t cry. It’s okay. You didn’t screw anything up, and I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to.” 

I blinked at him, trying to get the tears to stop. “Jensen, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I just need to protect Lily, and myself.” 

He took my hand, “I get it. I want to be in your lives.” I nodded, “I’d like that very much.” 

“Good, because after we help Lily I’m picking up where we left off. Damn that kiss was amazing.” I smiled, “Yeah it was. Better than I’d ever imagined.” He laughed.

We pulled up at the house and I leaped out of the car and ran inside. Lily was sitting on the floor crying, holding the stuffies and picture. “Lily baby, mama’s back. It’s okay sweetie. I’m here.” 

I tried all our calm down techniques and they didn’t work. Jensen took off his boots and got on the floor beside her and placed his hand on her back, “Lily, I’m here too baby girl.” She looked at him and instantly stopped crying. 

I gasped softly. I’d never seen her stop in a meltdown so abruptly. His green eyes flicked up and met mine. I mouthed, “thank you” to him and he nodded. 

She grabbed her stuffies and climbed in his lap. I was in awe. He held her for a few minutes then she wiggled out of his arms and went to her room. 

“Jensen, that was incredible. I’ve never seen her do that before. Please tell me your secret.” I chuckled a little, but was a little serious too. 

“Must be the Dean charm.” He laughed and I playfully hit his arm. 

Lily returned with her storybook. She handed it to Jensen. “Do you want me to read this to you, Lily?” “Read,” she said to him. 

“Jensen, she’s said more to you today than she has in the past 7 years. I am in shock. 

She grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards her bedroom. She climbed in bed and he sat beside her. I sat in the chair in her room and watched them interact. He read her the story, doing different voices for the characters. She’d occasionally giggle and kept one hand on his arm and the other wrapped around her new stuffies from him. 

Her eyes started to get heavy as he continued reading the story. By the time he was finished I heard soft snores coming from her mouth. He smiled at her, pulled the blanket up and kissed her head softly. 

We tiptoed out of the room and went back to the living room. “Wow, Jensen, that was amazing.” Sarah said from the couch. “Yeah, I’ve never seen her act like that with someone new.” 

He blushed a little, “What can I say, I’m great with kids.” I placed a hand on his arm, “Jensen that was more than you being great with kids. You really bonded with her.” Tears filled my eyes again, “Jensen, she’s never spoken as much as she has today. Today was the first time she’d ever called me “mama”. That was huge. I’ve waited so long to hear her call me that. Thank you. For whatever you did to get my little girl to open up more.” The tears fell hard and fast.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “Shh. It’s okay baby. Thank you for letting me be part of her world and trusting me enough.” I pulled back a little and he wiped the tears away, then he kissed my lips softly. 

Sarah smiled, “Well. I’m going to head home. Good night you two, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She chuckled as she started to leave. 

I stepped on the porch with her, “Sarah, thank you for everything today. Are you still coming tomorrow with us?” “Of course I am, and I want details later about that date.” I nodded and smiled, “Just know he kisses better than I thought. Good night.” I smiled and waved. 

She squealed in delight as she walked towards her car. 

I went back in to find Jensen sitting on the couch. I sat down beside him and he pulled me close to his side. His arm slung around my shoulders and my head rested on his chest. 

“Do you think Lily will sleep okay tonight?” Jensen asked almost in a whisper. “Yeah, she should be good the rest of the night. You know I don’t want to keep you. I know you need to get home.” “I’m good if you’re good. I don’t mind. Besides, I’m perfectly happy sitting right here with you.” 

“Me too. Just give me a minute. I’m going to change if that’s okay.” He nodded, “I’ll be here waiting.” 

He pulled me in for a soft kiss before I got up and I walked to my room. Every part of me screamed to invite him into my room, but the logical part of me told me I should wait. This was too fast, but damn I wouldn’t mind. 

I shook the thoughts out of my head and changed into my comfortable pajamas. Just an old band shirt and some sleep pants. I walked back into the living room and found Jensen had removed his button down shirt and hung it on the back of the chair. “I hope you don’t mind, I was being choked by the buttons.” He laughed. “Nope don’t mind at all.” The shirt he was wearing was tight across his chest and showed the perfect definition of his toned body. 

“So, where were we, sweetheart?” He asked as he pulled me down beside him. We spent the rest of the night kissing, making out and talking. At some point we both fell asleep. 

Around 7am his phone went off with an alarm. We were startled awake. “Oh my goodness, Jensen. We fell asleep.” He laughed, “Well we can say our first sleepover was a success.” I smiled, “Yeah. I’d say.” 

“Well darlin’ I hate to run, but I need to get home and get ready for the convention.” He stood up and went to grab his shirt but it was gone. We looked at each other puzzled. 

I walked towards Lily’s room, he followed. There she was in her bed, clinging to the moose and squirrel stuffies, and she was wrapped in his button down shirt. 

“Jensen, I’m so sorry. Let me wake her up and get it for you.” He touched my arm, “No, let her sleep. I’ll be back later today and I can get it then.” I nodded and we walked towards the front door.

“I had a great time last night, Y/N. I can’t wait to do it again.” “Me too, Jensen. It was incredible, you were incredible with Lily.” He cupped my face and with his thumb moved a fallen strand of hair. “So beautiful.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips and pulled back. “I’ll see you later, Y/N.” “Yeah, I’ll see you later, Jensen.” One last kiss goodbye and he left. Leaving me feeling like I was in a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

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[foursaints]

saints! penny for your thoughts on evan(s) 🙏

i didn’t see the appeal of them but it took one (1) hockey au and now they own me. yapping under cut

the fundamental axis on which evans(s) revolves is how evan rosier initially comes across as strange, and lonely, and prodigiously talented, and a little sad— perhaps in exactly the way that a young severus might have, when lily first decided she wanted to befriend him. except unlike severus, THIS boy is golden-headed and ridiculously gorgeous and has the most startling amber eyes. and he ACTUALLY doesn’t need other people, or her approval, the way that severus only pretends not to.

i think lily blinds herself to evan's darker, more unsettling aspects and finds herself wanting his approval. the idea of a dedicated, independent genius who only cares about his field of study (be it medicine, or potions, or whatever) and lets nothing ruffle him ever is HIGHLY appealing & aspirational to lily <- this isnt necessarily an accurate picture of evan but its how she initially sees him

it's the teeny crush that people headcanon a younger lily as having on remus but this time more serious & as an adult. lily likes how carefully he folds his napkins. she likes that he’s a hypochondriac who carries around alcohol wipes & wrinkles his nose & doesn’t say anything unless he absolutely NEEDS to. she likes how meticulously he micromanages his schedule.

but also she DISLIKES his iciness and the way he views other people. she dislikes how genuinely impossible it is to become close to him. he is such a belligerent autistic freak that he can't find it in himself to even slightly modulate his tone to sound less dead when talking to her. except lily takes this as a Challenge, and the only person on earth wholly charming enough to throw evan off his axis is the Perfect Girl Who Everyone Has Had A Crush On Throughout Her Entire Life.

it's the guy who likes to play God & the girl who has essentially lived her life as God's Favorite Angel. and evan thinks she's the most fascinating, inexplicable outlier of a thing that he finds himself continuously showing these silent little gestures of affection & contrition that TOTALLY throw him off his axis. yes, she can sit beside me. yes, i’m slipping my hand into hers (what is happening to me???)

idk i tend to see them as one of those unlikely duos that eats lunch on the stairwell together when they don't have anybody else. they would fall extremely quickly into friendship and instigate several private personality crises in each other that do NOT stop them from sending very corporate texts at each other ("Hello" "Hello - Are you well?" "I am well - How about you?") that they're both furiously blushing over in the privacy of their rooms. and they would talk the craziest shit about other people together.

anyway everyone please ask me about olympics au forever

[bitchface24-7]

Hey, it’s me again. Did I send in a request last night? Yes. But ur writing is very cool and I rly like it and my thoughts are eating my brain so I’m sending in another! (Please take however long you need to reply to this tho, I would hate to overwhelm u)

N e wayz, I am once again requesting JayVik x fem reader. I was hoping to ask for more comfort maybe? Mostly just smthn with a reader who doesn’t want kids at all ever.

Like, it’s not that I’m not good with them, they super overwhelm me and they’re loud and messy (and pregnancy horrifies me(and I think(?) I’m autistic so also that doesn’t help))

Just, maybe smthn where R tells em or someone else brings it up? They’re upfront abt it but worried abt losing Jayce and Viktor (also if I’m going into too much detail I apologize, I’m very specific abt my feelings towards kids and it’s hard to find anything like this. Most fics that bring up pregnancy are abt the R wanting kids or expecting and that’s just. Not for me)

Also if this makes you uncomfy that’s also cool and chill :))

Hope ur doing good, thank you either way :))

WE ALREADY MAKE THREE - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: you're in your late twenties. Your partners are thirty-one and thirty-two respectively. The dreaded question keeps coming up, “When are you going to have kids?” Never if you had it your way. Time to see if your partners are on the same page as you.

warnings: being childfree by choice, talks of overstimulation, fear of pregnancy and childbirth, talks of not wanting kids due to illness, soft fluffy comfort, Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/m/f

p.s. I too do not want kids, and you damn near listed every reason I have as well (add suspected ADHD/AuDHD). I'll personally add that I'm selfish, I like doing things when I want to do them, in peace. I want to spend my money on me. I want to wake up at noon and drink my coffee in silence. I'm also a graduate of a nursing program so I had to do maternity/child as a course and OMG IT WAS HORRENDOUS. I've never wanted kids, never dreamed of having them; and that won't change. Your feelings are valid; don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I also may or may not be projecting a bit onto this story; hope you don't mind pebble!

You're at that time in life as a woman where people keep asking you in a variety of ways when you're getting pregnant. Or they shoot you a variation of either pity looks or side-eyes when you're childfree; and happily so!

You've never wanted kids. Never had that baby dream where you wake up crying wondering where your kid is. If you did have that dream, you'd be crying in relief knowing you don't have a kid. People have always looked at you funny, your parents especially. “You’ll change your mind when you grow up!” “When you find the right guy, you never know!”

Eventually, when you hit your early twenties, your parents left it alone. Understanding that you don't want kids. Period.

Now… you need to ensure both Viktor and Jayce are on the same page as you. Because this… this topic can either make or break a relationship.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The conversation came up one random day in the lab. The three of you tinkering away when you just blurt out, “What do you think about kids?”

The sounds of tools crashing and swearing fill the lab, you try your best to suppress a giggle, but you fail.

“Where— where is this coming from?” Viktor asks, his voice frazzled as he holds a finger he accidentally smashed in his panic.

You shrug, “People keep asking me when I'm getting knocked up. Other departments, professors, acquaintances. I want to know your opinion on having kids. This topic… is a sensitive one. And I know this can either strengthen our relationship, or it'll crumble to dust. I don't… I don't want to lose you two. I can't imagine my life without you in it.”

Viktor lightly smiles and takes your hand with his non-injured one, and Jayce comes over to scoop you into a big hug.

“I— I've never wanted kids.” Viktor admits, his voice low as he looks at the two of you from beneath his eyelashes, “I’m sick. I'm disabled. I would never want to pass that down to my child; it'd be cruel. Even if we had a cure, I’d be hesitant.”

You squeeze Viktor's hand in reassurance, and the slowly built-up tension in his shoulders eases slightly. Now we just need Jayce's opinion.

The two of you look to Jayce, who just has a contemplative look on his face.

“Kids, babies especially, are a lot of work. Your whole world revolves around them. We wouldn't be able to do things like we are now. Hextech would have to wait. Finding a way to make Viktor feel better would have to wait. And I— I don't want to wait. I want to see Hextech helping everyone, I want to find a way to make Viktor feel less pain. And a kid… a kid would ruin that. Does that make me a bad person?!”

At Jayce's panic, the two of you get up on your tiptoes as best you can and kiss him on the cheek; one on each side. The dopey smile you get in return makes you and Viktor smile.

“Oh thank Janna,” you sigh, “I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids. I like doing things when I want to do them. I want to wake up when I feel like it. I want to drink coffee in peace. If I want to go to the market, I can immediately put my coat on and leave the house. I want to travel the world with you two; I want to make our dreams become a reality. A baby… a baby would ruin all of that. Besides, pregnancy and birth terrify me. That's one of the highest mortality rates a woman faces.”

At that last tidbit, Jayce and Viktor tense up.

No.

Absolutely not.

You're not dying, not anytime soon if they have anything to say about it. They want to be with you until you're all old and wrinkly. Your hair is no longer its rich colour, but a stark white. All three of you will die at the same time, cuddled up in bed holding one another.

You don't see their contemplation and just continue in your explanation, “And they're incredibly overstimulating. I understand logically that they can't speak but sometimes they just cry and make noise unnecessarily. You've taken a bath, your diaper is clean, and you've been fed and burped. We’re having mommy-baby time so I can love on you and you're pitching a fit? Why? It makes me so—”

Your explanation is interrupted by a passionate kiss from Viktor, you think your lips are gonna be bruised later by the amount of force he used. Eventually, he pulls away, and you feel breathless; Jayce quickly replaces Viktor's lips on yours. This kiss is softer, a bit tender as if he understands your lips feel tingly.

Jayce pulls away and as you're stuck in between them; Viktor and Jayce kiss. You appreciate their beauty as you bite your lip and smile. Jayce is the super physically affectionate one, you're in the middle, and Viktor rarely shows PDA. To have Viktor start this means a lot.

Your little kissing session ends a bit too quickly for your taste, but at least you get swamped in a group hug from both your partners.

“So…” Viktor starts, “We’re all in agreement? No kids.”

Both you and Jayce simultaneously respond, “No kids.”

Viktor nods, “Good. So, shall we go back to work? Or are we going to cuddle the whole day?”

“If I had it my way, it'd be the latter.”

“We know, Jayce.”

“So… I guess its back to work?”

“Yes, Jayce.”

“Hmph.”

With a dramatic sigh, Jayce lets the two of you go and you all go back to your workstations. Your heart and steps are a little lighter than when you first came into the lab today.

You work in comfortable silence for about ten minutes before you decide to be a menace, again.

“Why is everyone so invested if I'm getting my shit rocked and getting stuffed full of cum? Like I hate when couples are all like, “We’re trying for a baby! We’re trying every night!” Like… okay? I didn't need to know that. What do you want me to say? “Congratulations. Try harder.” Like?”

More crashes are heard and even more swearing. But this time you cackle in glee. Yeah. You wouldn't change this for the world.

Here it is! I hope people enjoy this tiny fic (especially you pebble!) its nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't want kids. Whenever I feel lonely in that mindset, I search up “childfree by choice” on tiktok and see so many other women with the same mindset as me; and it makes me feel a little less alone. If you do want kids, all the power to you, but this story isn't for you.

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

[academicdisasterfic]

Writing Interview

tagged by the inimitable @lqtraintracks 💗

What’s your total ao3 word count? 181,945

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

- Sourdough with 3692

- Half Awake with 1333

- In the Shape of Things to Come with 1133

- A Melody of You & Me with 1023

- Career Day with 866

Do you respond to comments?

I try, but honestly, I’ve spent the last two years so burnt out and exhausted that it’s fallen to the wayside. I read and appreciate absolutely everything and try to respond when I have the energy; I still get flutters at Ao3 comment notifications in my email and I am fervently hoping one day to make up the slack.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

lol I absolutely am allergic to anything but a happy ending: I’d say a tolerance for pain but it has a sequel so not quite! Some of my microfics are quite angsty.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

All of them lol - I think the one that makes me the happiest is Half Awake. Objectively A Melody of You & Me or Sourdough is much fluffier but something about the way H&D learn each other in Half Awake feels closer to my own idea of what finding happiness feels like.

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet! Never say never - I’m thinking all the time of how much fun it’d be to write Drarry in various other universes.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes and it’s hilarious to me every time. Girl who’s got the energy

Do you write smut?

I try but I am absolutely no connoisseur. I tend to write sex scenes more quickly & with less detail than I intend, but it’s something I’m working on!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and it made me so happy! It’s such a huge compliment.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

An absolute banger that will never see the light of day with @cavendishbutterfly

What’s your all time favourite ship?

There’s Drarry, obviously, but Wolfstar is equally as sacred to me.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started writing a longer fic about three years ago that was intended to be a very slow burn friends to lovers and was kind of processing my own divorce. I think I just moved on, both in my own life and as a writer. I ended up using some bits of it for When the Flood Comes - the description of Hogwarts at the start and the Golden Trio’s dynamic is from that other fic, particularly the part where Ron wakes up and has to reassure himself that Harry came back from the forest.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m definitely a character focussed writer - I love writing dialogue and emotions, and I think that’s probably what I’m best at. I also love writing setting & atmosphere but I’m not quite where I want to be with it yet - that being said, none of my writing is where I want it to be, I’m chronically dissatisfied with all my words.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not a plot guy. I struggle with holding suspense over longer works and I think I rush too much. Sometimes I worry about being autistic and the way I express thoughts and emotions: I’ll read other work and think mine is too simplistic. I’m not very good with descriptions either, I don’t tend to describe appearances too much.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

Big yes!!! So many fic writers speak English as their second language and have to write in English all the time; I love seeing mother tongues being written in. I probably wouldn’t feel confident enough to write in a language I didn’t speak but I’ve seen people do it really well with betas who can translate.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I think I’ve written everything I really want to - perhaps one day a short angsty Narcissa/Pansy, I’ve loved the idea of them for a while but I’ve not had the time.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

My favourite fic I’ve written is When the Flood Comes - political intrigue was a new beast for me, but I loved writing it, and I also love Harry and Draco’s dynamic in it. Outside of fic, my original novel is my favourite overall, and I’m so proud that I finished it. I didn’t really believe that I’d be able to write a full novel until I actually did it, and it changed how I thought of myself as a writer. It’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

Tagging @cavendishbutterfly @saxamophone @saintgarbanzo @nv-md @sleepstxtic @oknowkiss @basicallyahedgehog @moonmanateee and anyone who wants to participate - I love reading these, please tag me!

[floatingaimlessly333]

The 141(and friends(plus Graves)) as Things My Friends and I Have Said:

Gaz, playing a game with Soap: Stop using your spells on me, you magical bitch!

Ghost: Your gaydar is strong and your opinions are wrong

Price: Do not send me anime boy art of Austin from Backyardigans

Ghost: Hamlet her ass!!!

Soap: This is not Game of Thrones, ye shall not betray me!!!

Soap: I didn’t forget, but I forgot.

Ghost: Johnny, you can walk.

Soap, drunk off his ass: *falls into a bookshelf and knocks everything off*

Farah: I’ll become the colonizer! :)

Alex: You know life is good when mild sauce just hits you in the chest

Nik: Put your pinky down. The Queen is dead, there’s no need for that.

Roach: Sperm Donor Daddy Onceler

Ghost: The dog version of 50 Shades: 50 Shades of Greyhounds

Gaz: Red fish, blue fish, give me my money bitch

Graves: Face down, ass up, that’s the way that we suck blood

Soap, drunk and in the back of Kate’s car: May ah vape in here?

Laswell: You have been for the past 3 minutes.

Ghost: You’re a goose cunt.

Price, after Nik used the kitchen: Potato peeler stealing conniving little twat

Laswell: You think I have big pockets because I’m a lesbian?

Ghost: Call me the good doctor, because I’m autistic and all up in those guts.

Soap: Good night, sleep tight! Don’t let the sandman stick 2 fingers in yer arse!!

Ghost: Even if I was in Hogwarts, I’d still be autistic. I can’t avacadavra the autism away.

Gaz: Maraschino cherries don’t taste like cherries, they taste like capitalism.

Ghost: I’LL CUT YOUR DICK OFF!!! :)

Soap: Ye just milk their lil’ snake tiddies

Ghost: Holy bats, Ballman

Nik: How did the mall cops talking to the street cops prevent you from taking a piss?

Graves: I think

Ghost: You think? Incredible

Ghost: I don’t follow wizard rules

Soap: Do ye guys think oral sex from a muppet is a handjob or a blowjob?

Price, after starting a group chat with all of his friends: Wait! Fuck!! I’m disbanding the groupchat. Everyone forget each other’s numbers. I can’t have you all scheming against me.

Alejandro: I’ll be honest, I didn’t know you had a dad until sophomore year.

Rudy: H-How?!? We’ve known each other since we were four!!! YOU’VE BEEN TO MY HOUSE!!! WHERE MY DAD LIVES!!!

Ghost: I’m not going to my funeral.

[morgana-larkin]

Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

Let me know if you want to be added! 🙂

[davenweenie]

I need to have a little rant about certain Spencer Reid fans. Don’t take this too seriously, we are talking about a fictional character here and not a real person, my opinions are just that. MY opinions, you don’t have to agree with them.

Prison and Post-prison Spencer Reid sexualisers in particular. I just find that sexualising a man being wrongfully accused of murder and drug trafficking, at his literal lowest and ready to die is a little weird. MGG was phenomenal in these episodes and conveyed the feeling of utter helplessness so well. I think most of the fandom are in agreement that Spencer is autistic, being in prison is an awful time for anyone but would be especially difficult for an autistic. Having to constantly mask, unable to express normal and natural traits would be completely exhausting for starters. But also, fighting for his life in there, being an FBI agent as well as how he looks physically must have been terrifying in prison surrounded by some of the worst people on earth.

You don’t have to be a genius to know that someone who looks like Spencer would be in a huge amount of danger in prison. He’s physically weaker compared to other men, he looks a lot younger than he is and let’s face it, he IS a pretty boy and I’m not trying to be funny or ironic when I say that. Unfortunately, that makes him the prime target for SA in a prison setting. This is vaguely mentioned and hinted at in the show. It is also hinted that this is what he experienced the night he was ambushed in his cell and beaten.

Once out of prison, he is clearly suffering from PTSD. He is struggling to unmask, he’s struggling to be independent again (which is something a lot of released prisoners experience) and he lashes out a lot more than he ever would have previously. This is because he is quite literally traumatised. For some reason, people find this attractive. I do not. I don’t understand how someone clearly suffering from PTSD and related issues is attractive. Yes, Spencer is attractive in general and it is okay to find him attractive but I’ve noticed a theme of people only finding prison and post-prison Reid attractive. This is just very peculiar to me. How is a man at rock bottom what gets you off?

And adding to that, it gives off the impression that those select people didn’t like Reid when he was actually being himself. A nerd who likes to ramble, a geeky, weird guy. If you don’t like Spencer being a weird, quirky guy, you don’t like Spencer at all because post-prison Reid is nothing like the real Reid before his major traumas.

Dunno, just something that has been bothering me for a while.

[heyclickadee]

Massive fandom salt under the cut:

You know, if it were any other character besides Tech, if it was any other character in the exact same situation, I don’t think “he’s dead” would be the default conclusion. I really don’t.

And just to be clear, I’m not talking to people who related to or identified strongly with Tech. A lot of us feel like Star Wars kicked us in the face and we’re so used to autistic characters being disposable. I think Tech is alive*, sure, but I’m also sympathetic to the idea that hoping he might come back is just an ask too far—especially after the finale. I get it. We’ve got a reason to land at that conclusion.

The rest of the fandom, though?

I’ve seen people argue that Fives could be alive for years. Fives—a secondary character (yes, he’s a secondary character, I love him and yes he got his own arc in The Clone Wars because that show was an anthology and could take time to do that, but he was a secondary character) who got shot in the chest and breathed out his last on screen in Rex’s arms—is someone who comes up every time we go to a location clones could turn up. I’ve seen arguments that Mayday—who had an agonizing on screen death—could have been alive. People argue that Maul could come back. Ventress had a very unpopular on screen death and burial and DID come back. And I’m okay with that! I’d be cool with any of them coming back. But they all had far more definitive deaths than Tech did (Maul several times over).

So why

Exactly

Is the default position in the fandom

That the ONE main character

In the entire TBB show (in fact the only character in that show besides background stormtroopers) and most of Star Wars as a whole

Who supposedly dies off screen—remove everything else, take out the foreshadowing, take out every suspicious line, take out the total lack of confirmation and the lack of closure, remove ALL of that, we don’t even need to touch it all, let’s just look at the fall itself—in a long fall that we don’t see the end of because the camera cuts away while he’s still alive

Whose body neither we NOR THE PROTAGONISTS ever see

Is totally and irrevocably dead

In Star Wars?

You know, the franchise where Echo and Gregor both got blown up and were fine, and where Fennec got shot in the gut and then laid facedown in the sand and then in a bantha for hours, and was also fine? That Star Wars? The Star Wars franchise where people live just because? Why have we collectively decided that the rules of storytelling, let alone Star Wars, don’t apply to this one guy in particular?

And to be clear, I don’t think the default would be, “Oh he’s just alive and coming back in the next thing,” I think it would be, “He might be alive, he might be dead—we don’t know.”

But just—“he’s dead and always will be,” is such a wild conclusion for the fandom at large to come to about something this ambiguous.

*To be completely clear, when I say Tech is alive, I don’t mean he was supposed to come back and then got cut. I just think he’s alive, is still coming back, and was planned to do so.

[siriusremusblack]

Yes I like Snape, Yes I like the Marauders (Minus James and Peter).. Sirius seems like a stupid guy. Easily manipulated. One to easily get attached to people. He seems like doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions or how they affect others. He’s just doing what James wants him to. Remus is as we all know- a coward- he similarly to Snape, was an outcast just looking for a place to belong which he got- in the wrong place- James- coupled with Sirius’ stupidity andddd we got a cowardly prefect going along with what his messed up friends want. I like Snape more than the Marauders because we actually KNOW him. We see what he’s like, why he’s like the way he is (trauma) he is a complex character not many can understand and I relate to him in various ways. (For one he is heavily autistic coded).

I do not like what the Marauders did to Snape and everyone else. I like their characters mainly because without them, Snape’s story wouldn’t have been like it was. We wouldn’t have the complex broken man we all know and love. Honestly, if anyone was apart of the lgbt community it would be Severus. Severus is always in the minority. In every way. The marauders? Maybe sometimes- like Lupin he’s a werewolf that’s a minority that is hated on, but that’s pretty much it. We can understand why Remus Lupin stayed with James and Sirius it’s because he was scared to be alone again, I honestly believe that if James was never in the picture- Remus and Severus could’ve been friends because they have things in common. Same with Sirius, but if they were friends we wouldn’t have gotten Snape’s sacrifice. Severus’ story needed the Marauders to bring the weight of his actions and later his redemption to light. The Marauders really just needed to get a life and be punished by authority figures for once and I’m not talking about detention.

I like the Marauders because they in a way- supported Snape’s redemption. Not willingly- but they sort of brought it about. But I can’t really like them more than that, because canonically? We don’t see what drives them, all we know is they didn’t like Snape for simply existing and that is a trashy excuse to go after someone for YEARS. Don’t like someone? Don’t interact. I do feel like James manipulated the others to do his bidding or at least look the other way, and Sirius was just an extremely idiotic immature guy that couldn’t look past what he wanted or take others feelings and well being into consideration. But I don’t like them more than being part of the reason Snape’s redemption is so great.

A man that was abused, bullied, harassed, SA’d, groomed into a cult and nearly killed- forced to keep quiet and just take it- rose above his trauma and pain, and made the ultimate sacrifice for the very people that hated and rejected him. Snape is the one that deserves all the love and admiration. Not the marauders. Yeah. They played their part in Snape’s story. I like them for that. But it IS Snape’s story not theirs, not Harry’s nor anyone else’s and you can’t change my mind. Snape is the most relevant character within the series whether JKR and Mstans like it or not. Snape is the one who needs the spotlight, he deserves it. It is his story.