#Clark and Bruce get embarrassed

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 143

You know what I think would be hilarious. The batfamily (or even all of Gotham but it’s dismissed as just another Gotham tale by Outsiders) being able to turn into cats. Not big cats either but like, housecats. And none of their teams know. 

They think that the cats must be their local bat’s, because the collars have their symbols on them. And honestly how else would this giant fluffball get onto the Watchtower? Now of course they would have told the teams all eventually, but well, it’s become a competition now. How long can they keep this under wraps, and which of them will win in keeping it hidden. 

[bombusbombus]

Bruce: wait. We're the same age? I thought you started out years after I did.

Clark: I, um, I was busy. Couldn't start until later.

Bruce: busy with what?

Clark, sweating bullets: ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˢ ᵈᵉᵍʳᵉᵉ

[emperor-neo]

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*

[violent138]

Any equipment malfunctions amongst the Batfam must be so embarrassing. Like a smoke bomb gets dropped and just doesn't go off.

Goon, making awkward eye contact with the deeply embarrassed teenager: "Maybe try another one?"

Or the grapple gun fails to fire and Robin is frantically trying to reach something too high up or avoid gunfire.

Or one of Nightwing's escrima sticks don't light up and he's whacking it into a wall.

Goon: "You know I had an electrical job once, I could probably--" *gets knocked out*

Or the explosive gel fails to work.

Diana and Supes, looking at each other and then at Batman, who's intently staring at the door.

Diana, sighing a little, rocking back and forth:

Clark: "Wow, that's one strong door--"

Bruce: "Just break it down already."

Bruce, proceeds to sulk more throughout the mission and for a month after:

[gothamite-rambler]

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) with all the batkids when they were kids

Dick Grayson:

Diana (rubbing young Dick Grayson's cheek with her hand): Baby, tiny, precious! You so cute!

Dick giggled with a smile.

Diana: You want a candy?

Dick: Hm, yes! Yes! Please!

Diana: Aww, so precious.

Bruce: He's not supposed to eat a lot of-

Diana (a sweet smile on her face): Bruce, you and I both know I can break every bone in your body at once.

Bruce (hiding his fear): I do remember that, I'll be talking to Superman.

---------------------------------------

Jason Todd:

Diana: Oh, you're so cute and precious! I just want to hug you for hours and hours. I love how tiny you are!

Young Jason feet dangled as Diana scooped him up and hugged him. He couldn't breathe well, but he wasn't not trying to break free.

Bruce: Okay... you're smothering him. Let him go.

Jason (struggling to breathe): Hold up Batman! I'm not complaining.

Diana: And remember I know how to break your bones.

Batman: All right I'll just go.

Batman walks away.

Young Jason: This is the greatest day ever. I... I'm trying not to cry.

Diana: You're so sweet.

---------------------------------------

Tim Drake:

Tim Drake clutched to the woman's hip, crying happily. Batman tried to pull him off, but Tim wouldn't let go.

Tim: This is the greatest day of my hero life! I am so happy to meet you!

Diana (simpering): I can't hold myself longer, I am happy to meet you too young warrior! You are just as precious as the rest!

Bruce: I have to stop bringing them around her- Dick, why are you crying?

Dick: That used to be me!

Dick cried, resting his head on Bruce's shoulder. Bruce sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

---------------------------------------

Stephanie Brown (for the short time she was Robin)

Stephanie: Oh my goddess, you're Wonder Woman! Bomb girl boss! I've been wanting to meet you forever! I- Oh my goodness I'm embarrassing myself aren't I? You want me to leave, right?

Diana (elated): If I could I'd adopt you, but for now you're an honorary Amazon warrior! Want a hug?

Stephanie: YES!

Diana and Stephanie hugged, any attempt Bruce tried to take to break the two apart was met with Diana shoving him away.

Stephanie (dramatic fake sobs): I needed this, Batman is like so mean to me. Doesn't braid my hair even though I showed him the best tutorials and he doesn't appreciate me! I swear he's like my dad.

Diana glared at Bruce who's face turned red with anger.

Bruce: Okay, that was mean. I'm leaving!

Bruce stormed off while Diana took Stephanie's hand and led her way to chat and braid her hair.

---------------------------------------

Damian Wayne:

Bruce: Okay so Wonder Woman is bit... Obsessed with cute kids. Just be ready.

Damian: Oh father please, I've dealt with way worse.

The doors to the meeting slid open where Diana was already in the room. She sat at the Justice League meeting table. Once she spotted Damian, she gasped.

Damian tensed surprised, he backed away slowly as he began to get flashbacks to Talia.

Diana (eager): You got the itty bitty ones again?! Come here young warrior!

Damian: Noooo!

Damian ran away as Diana chased him with her arms open wide.

Diana: Let me give you cheek rubs!

Damian (screaming): Get away from me!

Clark Kent walked over to Bruce while snacking on a granola bar.

Clark: You ever think about not having a kid sidekick?

Bruce: You've got one more time to tell me that and I'm sending kryptonite to your house.

Clark (sarcastic): Glad your practicing being kinder to us like I told you too.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Clark wakes up one day and his throat hurts and he can't breath through his nose and he's all hot and feverish and he just feels bad. So he shows up at the manor sniffling with watery eyes like "Bruce I think I'm dying :'("

And Bruce is trying to stay calm but internally he's panicking a bit bc it's Superman, Superman doesn't get sick and Clark's not the type to over exaggerate his condition so if he thinks it's bad it must be.

So they go to the watchtower and contact the Lantern Corps and they send over a doctor. Clark is ready for the worst but after a brief examination that doctor's like "oh yeah, it's space flu" really casually

"Space flu?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not the thing humans get but it's pretty similar. You probably got it from that alien invasion last week. It'll suck but just rest and drink lots of fluids and you should be fine in a week."

Clark is embarrassed at his overreaction and wants to go home to mope but Bruce forces him to stay at the manor until he gets better so he can make sure someone is actually taking care of Clark.

[superbat-love]

Clark: So between the two of us, we have… a lot of kids together.

Bruce: A thousand and twenty-three kids, to be exact.

Clark: According to the last official count, anyway. And, umm, this is kind of embarrassing to admit…

Therapist: Whatever you say here stays within this room, Clark.

Clark: Sometimes, it gets confusing. Last weekend, I took the kids to the beach, but… I accidentally left one of them behind.

Bruce: Is that why there was an actual starfish lying on the couch instead of our alien starfish son?

Clark: I-I found him and brought him back! It was an honest mistake.

Therapist: ...I see. [jots down notes]

Clark: And yesterday, it was Jarro 101’s and Jarro 102’s birthday, so I bought two pairs of boots. But then I realized it was also Jarro 103’s and Jarro 104’s birthday, so… the four of them ended up with just one boot each! [sniffles] I messed up.

Bruce: I told you it wasn’t an issue, Clark.

Therapist: And how did the kids react?

Bruce: I told them that only an elite few would receive one Boot, and they’re thrilled. They haven’t stopped bragging about their “exclusive presents.” Although, in hindsight, it might not have been the best idea. I had to fend off a few calls from someone named Ronaldo. Those kids can be very competitive.

Clark: [wiping his eyes] I just wanted to get proper gifts for the kids, you know? It’s hard sometimes because they keep self-replicating, and my wallet’s taking a serious beating. But… I can’t even be upset when Bruce looks so happy about it. Am I… Am I a bad dad?

[nosyrobin]

Imagine on Halloween the Supersons trio are dressed as their parents, Damian Batman, Jon Superman, and Wonderboy!Reader having to be with his mom's lol

“TRICK OR THREAT!”

Pair: Superson Trio

Summary: going trick or treat wearing the costumes of their parents, only one of them is embarrassed.

Genre: Fluff.

|| note: the boys are 13 also I love this idea! ||

“Mommm!” Y/N yelled embarrassed, he didn’t expect to wear his mom’s costume. Well he did, he just thought it would be pants for the costume, but no. It was her usual costume she fights in daily. Rope, crown, shield, and sword. And the blue and gold-colored high waisted star printed skater skirt. With shorts under them of course. Diana smiles at her son, “Cmon pumpkin. You look like a mini me as of now!” Diana takes another picture of the boy who held a flustered face. He immediately covered his face embarrassed.

“I hope Damian and Jon aren’t coming…” y/n says to himself. “Actually they’re outside right now.” Diana says with a smile, taking one last photo of Y/N. “What?! No, no! Those two idiots can’t see me like this!” Diana narrowed her eyes at her child. “Why not. Do you not appreciate looking like a warrior?” Y/N opened his mouth to argue but the motherly glare dared for the boy to say something. Shutting his mouth he groaned, “Whatever.” Diana goes to the door and opens it for Bruce and Clark to enter with their mini them.

Damian was dressed as Batman, and Jonathan as his father, Superman. The boys were excited to see how Y/N would look, and boy did they have a laugh at the Amazon male. Damian held a hand to his mouth as Jon cackled holding his stomach. “Omg! -wheeze- you’re wearing a skirt!” Jonathan says pointing to Y/N who looked ready to punch Jonathan. “So what! Warriors wore skirts regardless of gender like men.” Y/N huffs and pokes Jonathan hard at his chest.

Damian was done laughing, wrapping an arm around the angry Amazon. “Prince, it’s fine to be Wonder Woman. At least you look like a warrior still.” Damian says snickering. Jonathan nodded smiling, Y/N shrugged off the arm of the boy wonder. “Whatever, let’s just go trick or treating.” Y/N walked pass the two boys who immediately followed after the Amazon male. Clark smiles at the trio, he had finished chatting up with Bruce and Diana. “Okay kiddos, let’s get this rolling!” Clark says opening his truck, Jon gets in quickly with a smile, excited. Damian grabbed Y/N’s hand gently and helped the Amazon male in like a gentle man. Damian held a smug grin, Y/N glared at Damian and pulled his hand back.

“Stop that.” “Of course your majesty.” “Ughhh!”

The car ride was calming for the less, Y/N had his arms crossed over his chest. Damian was looking outside of the window as Jon was singing songs with his father. Damian peeked over at the boy between him and Jon. He couldn’t help but smile, the boy was gorgeous. Jon was doing the same, the two boys haven’t noticed they were staring at the Amazon male for so long to the point Y/N felt irritated at the feeling of the stares. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer bozos.” Damian smirked. “I wished I’d taken a photo.” Y/N whipped his head at the boy.

“Watch yourself Wayne.” Y/N says with a glare. Jon laughed a little. Finally Clark stopped in the middle of a busy neighborhood. “Alright kids, remember I’ll be right here and if you kids need me. I’m already listening for yall.” Clark says pointing to his ears. “Thanks pops!” Jon says happily, exiting the truck. Jon helped Y/N out, he didn’t care that the sassy Amazon male didn’t need help. But it felt good for Jon to help the boy out.

“Let’s have funnn!” Jonathan says excitedly with Damian and Y/N smiling at the golden retriever boy. “Let’s!” Y/N soon yelled out with a wide smiled. And the trio started to go nuts, going for the big houses. Damian was of course getting gasps as he was the son of a billionaire. Y/N and Jon was having fun seeing adults suck up for Damian and then Jon. Jon for his adorable looks. Y/N was smiling at his bag of candy, he didn’t notice some boys and girls staring at him. Protectively, Jon and Damian blocked Y/N from their view. They continued their trick and treating. Damian slickly putting some of his candy in Y/N’s bag.

It was going great! Until some kids had seen the Amazon boy, kids from the school Y/N goes to. The kids were a bunch of idiots with no hobbies except to make fun of others, and they seen Y/N with the two supersons.

“Hey sissy!” Y/N immediately turned around with a hardened expression, the Amazon male didn’t see how Damian and Jon was already in a formation by the Amazon boy. “I didn’t know that Y/N Prince was a sissy! Can’t wait to tell the school this.” The kid said, Y/N walked forward, wiping his sword out. “You dare make fun of me!” The kid snickered, “That’s a toy sword, what are you gonna do princ—" with a quick slash in the air, the tire of the bike was flattened. The air was quiet with a smug Amazon boy, a proud Wayne, and surprised Kent. “What’s that? That’s the sound of a flatten tire. NOW SCRAM!” Y/N yelled pointing his sword in the direction the kids came from.

The kids grabbed their bearings and ran off, but the kid still had one thing to say. “You’re still a sissy!” Y/N growled under his breath, ready to chase them before Jon placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Shaking his head no, Damian had a smug look with crossed arms.

“That was amazing Prince. Very amazing.” Damian says standing by Jon and Y/N. “Dude.” Jon says not impressed by his best friend’s antics.

Y/N scoffs and puts his sword back into its hold. “Whatever..let’s just get more candy and head home. “ the Amazon boy walks away from the two, the two can clearly sense something had trouble the boy. Jon and Damian look at each other and immediately try and corner the boy. But Y/N was speed walking through crowds of children. “Y/N.” Damian says, Y/N almost stopped but kept walking. Jon sighs and immediately grabbed Y/N, “Dude. Whatever that guy said to you earlier, isn’t true. You’re still the most masculine boy I ever known!” Jon says with a soft smile.

Damian nods, smoothly interlocking his fingers with the Amazon boy. Y/N blinked at his two best friends. “I..-sigh- thank you for your concern but it’s not that.” Damian and Jon raised a brow. “Then what is it Y/N?” Damian asked. Y/N looks down embarrassed. “I’m cold….” The chilly air of fall had hit the boy’s legs ever since they had exited the truck of the Kent. Jon and Damian laughed. “That’s all?” Damian asked. Y/N nodded with a sunken in lip. “Alright, let’s hurry this up then.” Damian says pointing up by the street.

With a still embarrassed Amazon, Damian and Jon wrapped their capes around the boy. It brought them closer as the two boys held each hand of Y/N. Walking through the neighborhood for the end of the night of Halloween.

[helpimtrappedinthetextbox]

A JL Batman identity reveal fic where Bruce Wayne is openly dating Superman

Some of the Justice League walk into a lesser used room to find Batman and Superman making out

The members that walked in are like "Superman TF are you doing you got a boyfriend?!?"

And before they can say anything about Batman being a homewrecker, Batman turns his attention from the Leaguers back to Superman, now acting like a scandalized Brucie Wayne(like turning his head and putting the back of his hand to his head), being like "Gasp! Superman how could you! You told me you cut that Wayne Himbo off! Did you dare to try to have us both at the same time?!?" Clark, for his part, is caught between a look of embarrassed horror and laughing really, really hard.

Diana is probably there, in the know, laughing her ass off as she should, the absolute QUEEN.

Eventually Bruce starts laughing almost has hard as Diana, the rest of the Leaguers there are Traumatized™ for life.

Bruce then calls a full League meet, explaining vaguely how the circumstances of getting walked in on happened, some of the people who weren't there start to say something about how Batman could come between Superman and Bruce

He quickly shuts them up by mentioning that he is, in fact, Bruce Wayne

Then we get chaos as it fades to black

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

The Lost Condom

Synopsis: You were in the middle of a spicy time with your boyfriend, when something odd happened: the condom disappeared. Inside. Of. You.

The solution? Go to the hospital.

The problem? Your family didn't know about your relationship.

Pairing: Jon Kent X Gn!AFAB!Reader; Platonic!Batfam

Tw: 18+; Only mention and slight description of genitals and sex, but nothing too explicit; All characters are aged up of course; English isn't my 1st language.

Word count: 1,8k.

Requested? Nah.

Extra notes: This isn't an original idea of mine, it's based on a real life story someone told me. Also the family finding out scene was inspired by this fanfic from @dccomicsimagines and this scene from Megamind. Also, eventually I will work on the asks waiting for me I swear 😭

General masterlist

So… You were in the middle of… Having fun… With your boyfriend… When suddenly, he said something that really confused you.

— Hmm… Babe… Where’s the condom? — Your head snapped back to look at him, since you were on all fours.

— Where's the ‘what’? — Your eyes were wide, unconsciously. Jon was blushing intensely, looking from your eyes to your entrance. He didn't know how to explain.

— I-I-I put it inside with the condom on, but now it's… Gone! — You narrowed your eyes. You watched him wrap and then enter you, you didn't feel him pull out at any moment, and even if he did, why would he tell you that he pulled out, took the condom off and then put it inside again secretly while you were still going at it?

You were both silent for a few seconds.

— Search for it! — You practically yelled at him, making him scramble to get off of you. You laid with your back down and legs open, looking at the ceiling, trying to calm down and not feel embarrassed. You felt him entering you with his fingers and searching around for minutes, grumbling and getting frustrated. The sensation was good… But you had bigger priorities at hand!

You huffed and changed positions a few times. A pillow underneath your butt, legs up, on all fours. Nothing worked. You even searched around the room and the bed, just to be sure. At some point, you both defeatedly decided it was best you go to the hospital.

The thing is, your relationship was still new, and no one in your family was aware. Lois and Clark already knew and approved, and you thought Cass suspected you were seeing someone, but you hadn't told them yet.

Especially Damian.

You and Jon knew each other years before Damian was even part of the family, since Bruce raised you since your birth — you were the product of one of his affairs, your biological mother didn't want to raise you, but she also didn't want to abort, so she and Bruce agreed that he would have you as soon as you were born — and he's best friend was Clark. Although, you didn't see each other much back then. It was after the Supersons became a team and besties that he started frequenting the manor more. You always had a childhood crush on each other — Jon thought you were beautiful and nice, and you thought he was cute and sweet, very different from the gross and rude boys from your school. —. Until you were each other's first kiss, then years later, first relationship, and first time. Of course, all in secret from Damian. The older family members only knew about your crush because of your physical language, but since you grew older and learned to hide, they assumed it was just a childish crush from the past.

Lois and Clark knew and approved, but they also always reminded you that you needed to tell Bruce soon, or at least Alfred, especially after you started being sexually active.

Unfortunately, the day came. Yes, you and Jon were old enough to have sex, but too young to be mature and brave enough to go to the hospital by yourselves. Lois was in another country for work, Clark was in the Watchtower in a League meeting, your dad was there too. Leaving the 2nd best option: Alfred — the best would be Lois, then Alfred, Clark, Cass, and then you would have to discuss which one of your other family members would it be.

Since you were in Metropolis — again, no one knew. More privacy wink wink —, Jon flew you back to Gotham, and you both almost cheered when you realized you were completely home alone, except for Alfred, of course.

Poor Alfred knew something was up when you suddenly were back from your “shopping trip”, with messy hair and clothes, red face and Superboy looking almost sick. He released a long sigh.

— Mx/Miss/Master (Y/N). Young Mr. Kent… — You cleared your throat.

— Alfred… We need help…

After you explained everything, Alfred looked ten years older. He didn't comment on anything, but his face showed how unimpressed he was. He just gestured for you to follow him to the garage, took the keys and started driving.

— Let me warn Master Bruce while we are-

— NO! — You yelled, started. He looked at you through the rearview mirror disapprovingly.

— Should I remind you that he will see the hospital bill and go after the truth? — You bit your lip.

— No, I know that. Just… Can't we pay on cash? — You smiled at him hopefully and nervously, but it was more like a grimace. Alfred was silent. You groaned. — I will tell him okay! Tonight! — Jon’s eyes snapped to yours, wide. — Relax! You're not gonna die!

— Yeah, until Damian whips out a kryptonite sword… — He groaned, hiding his burning face in your neck. You huffed, now wasn't time for him to be adorable.

— He doesn't have a kryptonite sword. Dad didn't let him do it. He would have to build it first. That would give him enough time to calm down. — Jon looked at you, indignant. Alfred cleared his throat.

— While we're there, I can't make any promises that if your father asks, I will hide the truth. He will know. — You and your boyfriend groaned, rubbing your faces with your hands.

— Yes, Alfred, I know…

Two hours later, you were finally laid down in position for the doctor to begin the procedure. Since if wasn't anything serious, you were on the emergency and there was only a curtain separating you from the rest of the patients outside. Alfred was sitting just outside, waiting, while Jon was standing by your side, holding your hand, as if you were about to give birth. The doctor was amused by your story, and her jokes helped you calm down.

She searched around you for a few minutes, the instrument she was using inside you being a little uncomfortable. Jon was silently horrified when he saw, you were startled too, but maintained the composure.

— AHA! Found it! It was really deep inside, almost on your cervix! — When she pulled out the condom, you both let out a breath of relief you didn't know you were holding.

You quickly put your clothes on again, you and Jon chatting as everything seemed lighter, and then left.

What you didn't know was that when Bruce got home and you and Alfred weren't there, it made him call, finding out just that you were in the hospital. Alfred refused to say much more than reassure him that it wasn't urgent and that he would soon know, thus he didn't have to crazily drive all the way there. That didn't stop him from alerting all your siblings.

When you got home, your whole family was there.

— Jon?! What're you doing here? — Alfred kept a straight face. Wow, he really wasn't going to help.

— Hmmm... — Jon subtly and subconsciously hid behind you. You shifted from one foot to another. Damian got up with a threatening scowl. You just came from the hospital. With a kryptonian.

— Kent! If you hurt my sibling I will-

— I didn't! — Jon almost yelled, then covered his face with his hands.

— Then, what is happenning here? — Bruce got up with a raised brow, analyzing the situation.

You thought for a moment. You either told them now and made things easier, or you spent all the way to dinner with them bothering you to tell. You could take it, Jon couldn't.

You took a deep breath.

— JonandIwerehavingsexwhenthecondomdisappearedinsideofmewecouldn'tfinditanywheresoweaskedAlfredforhelpandwenttothehospital.

They blinked.

— … What?

You huffed.

— Jon and I were having sex, when the condom disappeared inside of me. We couldn't find it anywhere, so we asked Alfred for help and went to the hospital. — You said, slower this time, although uma lower, more abashed tone.

Silence.

— … But… It was stuck inside? Weren't you wet, though…? — Tim's analysis broke the silence.

— SEX?! — Dick and Jason exclaimed.

— YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH MY SIBLING?!

— Knew it. — Cass smiled and nodded, proud of herself.

Bruce heaved a sigh and sat down again.

— I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! — Damian threw Tim's coffee mug in your direction and Jon zoomed in front of you. The mug broke. Jon had a sheepish expression.

— Tim, go grab kryptonite. — Jason ordered and got up, walking toward the hidden compartment in the shelf where he kept his guns. Dick held him back while Damian threw a flower vase at Jon.

— No! Don't do that, Tim. — Dick ordered back. Tim shook his head.

— I wasn't going to anyway… — He mumbled. Damian threw the center table.

— YOU ACTED BEHIND MY BACK! YOU TRAITOR! YOU- OUCH! PENNYWORTH STOP! — Alfred tutted, pinching his ear.

— I'm sure civilized conversations don't involve breaking the forniture. — Alfred shot a pointed look at Bruce. — Master Bruce! Say something! — Your dad just kept gazing at you and your boyfriend.

Cass sighed, stepping toward Bruce and sitting beside him.

— (Y/N)’s happy. He’s good. They're careful. — Bruce nodded, finally showing some reaction and looking pleased. Jason stopped struggling against Dick and looked at you.

— I don't care. I'm going to kill him. — Damian growled, starting to pace around the room in anger. Jon silently sighed in relief that Damian kept his distance by being on the other side of the room, the couch and the whole family serving as a barrier. You stepped forward.

— It's not casual. We've been together for almost two months now. — Everyone but Alfred and Cass gasped. Damian burned holes in Jon’s head with his eyes and your dad looked at you, masking his mix of emotions.

Cass tsk.

— So clueless. Many signs. — She shook her head.

— (Y/N), why didn't you tell us before? — Dick asked carefully, walking in your direction and stopping in front of you. Jon fiddled behind you. You shrugged.

— Didn't want to deal with you all while we were just starting things. Especially if it didn't work out.

— When were you planning to tell us? — You pouted.

— I don't know… In a month or two? You guys probably would find out by yourselves. — You shrugged.

— You've been sneaking out a lot… — Tim spoke up for the second time, catching everyone’s attention. He was fiddling with his laptop, likely doing his own investigation. The ones closest to Tim looked from the monitor to you again.

— When did you go to Metropolis?! — Jason exclaimed, indignantly.

— Hehe…

Damian growled.

— So that's why you've been ditching me?! — Damian pointed a finger at Jon, who scratched the back of his head.

— Surprise...? — Jon weakly sang the word.

Bruce cleared his throat.

— So that's why Clark’s been acting like he was happy he knew something I didn't… — He got up and pointed at you. — No more sneaking out. Ask permission before going anywhere. — You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you. — Either that or you're grounded. — You pursed your lips and nodded in defeat. — Now we will talk about birth control…

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[wixenburr]

Clark gets hit with a love spell and is cursed to be loved by everyone (more than usual). Except you can't effect what's already there. ...Oh, and love spells don't affect kids.

or, Billy Batson's Unwilling Observation of his Adult™️ Coworkers Love Lives

Bruce and Diana do not change at all, and they notice this of each other. You know who else isn't affected though? That's right. Billy Captain Marvel Batson himself.

See, Bruce and Diana are pretty smart, so they realize that the only reason they both aren't reacting is because they are both in love with Clark, obviously.... which means their coworker Captain Marvel must be in love with him too.

Bruce: I've gathered you all here today because I've noticed that all three of us are acting normal around Superman. Diana: It appears so. Billy: ?!?!?! Are we supposed to be acting weird? Diana: we will fight to the death for superman's affection Bruce: agreed Billy: WHAT IS GOING ON?! Diana: ???? He was hit with a love spell. Specifically, a spell that makes everyone else love him. Billy: HE WAS?!?!?!?! Diana: Bruce: [Bruce & Diana, exchanging looks] Bruce: You wouldn't happen to be... immune to some spells, would you? Billy, taking the out: YES. YES I AM. Diana: Oh Bruce: Oh Billy, vibrating with secondhand embarrassment: I'm. I'm just gonna leave. Diana: ...ok Bruce: (internally screaming)

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Age gap reader getting saved/

"I still can't believe you're dating-"

"We're engaged," Bruce said, checking the location on the tracker.

"Pardon?" Clark asked blinking, "Since when?"

"Since the last time she was in Gotham," Bruce said, cheeks flushing under the cowl.

"Does anyone else-"

"No."

"Embarrassed?" Clark challenged, quirking an eyebrow.

"To be engaged to a beautiful woman? No," He snorted. "Her every waking second is scrutinized. She wanted a little while to just- be."

Clark nodded, smirking. "You're going soft, old man."

"Her first kiss was a PR stunt and she got her period at a baseball game wearing white pants," Bruce said cringing. "Now she's got some stalker-"

"Fair enough," Clark agreed nodding. "Just as long as the cake isn't pineapple-flavored, count us in."

"Hn."

Clark cocked his head and listened for a second. "I hear them," he said. "Or at least... him. He's got quite the plan worked out."

"Of course he does. They always do."

"This happen a lot?"

"I'm looking into better security," Bruce huffed. "This is pathetic."

[incorrectbatfam]

Superbat hcs?

They're constantly referring to each other as "colleagues" even after all this time

One time Bruce comes home brooding more than usual and when asked he's like "I got into a disagreement with someone at the office"

Or Clark triple-checking that his suit and tie look right because he doesn't wanna embarrass himself at a work dinner with Bruce

Clark randomly laughs in the middle of the day at the Daily Planet because of something his co-worker from his second job sent him (it was a picture of Ace)

Bruce randomly buys gifts for Clark for "networking purposes," like Belgian chocolate or a diamond watch band

When Clark is stressed over a deadline Bruce will talk him through it over the phone because that's what colleagues do for each other

When other people ask where they see themselves in 10 years they always mention wanting to be each other's "business partners"

They once shared the same bed at a hotel on a "business trip" because getting two different ones would "go over the budget"

After a particularly bad Justice League mission, Bruce and Clark go for a long stroll together to "regroup" and "think up a new strategy"

They also coordinate Wayne Enterprises and Daily Planet lunch breaks so Clark can fly over to Gotham with the pie that Ma specifically made for Bruce

The Justice League does a holiday gift swap and Diana rigs it so Bruce and Clark get each other, but it backfires on her when they keep separately coming to her for advice as they're panicking about picking the right present

Bruce saved Clark in his contacts as "Colleague <3" and claims the heart is to differentiate him from all the other JL members and WE employees

One time Dick asked Bruce where he was going and Bruce said it was another work meeting with Clark, and Dick was like, "A work meeting in a horse-drawn carriage through the park?" To which Bruce said it was being paid for by Wayne Enterprises and therefore was business-related

Their families got together on Kent Farm for a summer barbecue after they said they had some "big news" to share, which turned out to be the merger between Wayne Enterprises and the Daily Planet. More than one people were left disappointed but Bruce and Clark couldn't figure out why

Clark flies over to Gotham in the mornings to bring Bruce coffee from a place they both like in exchange for Alfred's breakfast pastries

When Bruce is in Metropolis, he sneaks into Clark's office and waits until Clark gets back

Wayne Enterprises branches into the jewelry industry and Bruce gets himself and Clark matching gold rings as part of the "product testing" procedure

On slow patrol nights, they'll meet up on a random rooftop and just talk because "regular updates are vital to business communication"

They practiced how to waltz with each other so they look good in front of others at an upcoming gala

The other heroes have a running bet on how long until they get together, and of course Diana is in the lead

[burnt-scone]

Give it to me now👇

I want to see more superbat fics that incorporate their canonical* ways of approaching romantic relationships. I want to see a Bruce like the one who impulse proposed to Selina on a rooftop without sparing a thought to their “work” statuses or what a domestic future together would truly look like. I want to see him across from the same Clark that for decades did not allow himself an official, truthful, or committed relationship with Lois (or Lana) because of his paranoia and fear around identities and bringing them into further harms way.

So often in fics, Bruce is painted as the one overanalyzing every potential outcome, hiding his romantic approaches behind layers of masks and secret identities, any denying himself a relationship on the smallest of technicalities—but it’s Clark who tried that for years.

So often in fics, Clark is written as the one to take the leap, to enter relationships with deep hope and trust and commitment—when Bruce has had his heart broken by this too many times in the past.

The way their relationships are commonly written mimic their modern friendship’s development, it is in no way out of character. But I would love to see more that is based on their romantic styles, not just platonic.

*(obligatory disclaimer that this is a mass generalization of some canon and common fanfic depections)

[theocddiaries]

Bernard: Tim is embarrassed to kiss me in front of other people. Tim: No, you ambushed me! Clark: It's not Tim's fault. He gets it from Bruce; he doesn't like the lovey-dovey in public, either. Bruce: I can't believe you're coming at me right now. I'm doing all your 'kryptonian customs' by standing here with shoes around my neck, and for the better part of a half-hour, I screamed the death out of your meat. Now, what do you want from me? Clark: Tell Tim that it's okay to kiss his partner in front of you. Bruce: …Why is that something we have to do? Tim: We don't. Dick: Clark is right. You being so emotionally closed off, makes it very difficult for your children to show affection. Bruce: Really? You had trouble showing affection in public places? Dick: Yes! Bruce: You? Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car, wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket? Stephanie: My God. What? Damian: You were arrested? Cassandra: Awesome! Dick: Not awesome. And I wasn't arrested. Dad was just telling a joke. Bruce: It was just a joke. Dick: Yeah. Bruce: And I got a million of 'em... Dick: Dad.

[threefandomsinatrenchcoat]

Imagine Clark coming into Gotham or the batcave or whatever looking for Bruce and getting all excited at the shadow and talking to it only to belatedly realize Bruce's heartbeat isn't actually that close, followed by the reveal that it was just some alley cat/one of Damian's pets. His face immediately falls. He's embarrassed and devestatingly disappointed. Bonus points if a batkid is filming and shows Bruce later.

Also works with Dick in the Batman costume because Bruce is otherwise needed or temporarily indisposed. I imagine the Alfred-imposed bedrest would be sweetened a bit by having a video of Clark making a fool of himself.