#Suprisingly the wedding was super peaceful
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
emperor-neo · 28 days ago
Text
Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.
Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*
Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*
Selina: God why are you even in here?!
Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—
Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…
Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.
Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”
*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*
Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting
Clark: Lex can you sit down?
Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*
Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—
Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?
Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.
Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*
Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*
Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.
Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.
Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa
Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?
Barbara whispers back: only during holidays
Jim: remind me not to attend during it
Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?
Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.
*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*
Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.
Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…
Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—
*a chorus of outrage erupts*
Jon: WOAH WOAH!
Dick: HEY!!
Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—
*cuts short by Lucius Fox*
Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.
Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…
Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card
Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!
Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*
1K notes · View notes