#Bruce the squirrel

[grabbyratpaws]

Gwen you useless lesbian! I mean I get it, but priorities!

[p1nkshield]

Damian: [violent gremlin noises]

Bruce: [not looking up from his desk] if you kill your brother I will delete your cheese Viking save.

Damian: [Stops immediately] >:(

Duke: I’m still amazed that you are not phased by all of the out of pocket things we do.

Bruce: [looking directly at Dick] I was sent into the deep end from the beginning I had to either sink or swim.

Dick: 😅

Duke: what did you do?

Robin!Dick: Hey Bruce! Heeey Bruce I have a question! Bruuuuuce!

Bruce: can you ask me a question without climbing onto my shoulders?

Robin!dick: you love me right?

Bruce: yes?

Robin!dick: would you still love me if I became an apple?

Bruce: ???

Robin!dick: because sometimes I think it would be fun for like a day.

Bruce:… how would I know it was you?

Robin!dick: [grabbing Bruce’s face] Promise me you would find a way to turn me into a real boy again!

Bruce: …okay

Robin!dick: yay! Do you think Uncle Clark will be upset if I ask him to throw me again today?

Bruce: give it a week

[quiidam]

Love seeing comic panels of Bruce and Dick working together where Bruce is hunched over some document or sitting at the Batcomputer while Dick is doing a handstand or using something expensive as his personal jungle gym. They work best like this. I imagine the first time Dick helps out with the Justice League not only are they all completely unaccustomed a child in a professional environment but none of them are prepared for the adorable nine year old doing backflips off all the equipment while he discusses forensic evidence. One of the Leaguers makes the mistake of trying to correct Dick and tell him to ‘stop messing around’. Bruce, protective of his son and deeply respecting his little partner in crime fighting, isn’t having any of that and immediately levels them with a look that could cut glass and says: “He’s working. I suggest you stop sitting on your hands and do the same.”

[moider-time]

Everything with Batman is the same except he's a snacker. Bruce could never eat only at breakfast, lunch or dinner, he just never worked like that. Thomas and Martha had such a hard time trying to get baby Bruce to eat at a set time. He wouldn't be hungry at dinner time but at 2am? He was craving some marshmallows.

So the solution to that is him carrying snacks all over the place. Bruce will be at a gala and chomping on some grapes while trying to avoid the mayor. He'll be in an interview, talking about his latest poem related to Gotham's gothic architecture and nibbling on smores.

The Justice League are especially used to it. On the rare times when Bruce forgot to bring food, the others have him covered. J'onn slides him cucumber sandwiches, Ollie has honey-covered apple slices and Clark has his oatmeal cookies that Bruce said he liked. The JL are planning for the next cosmic threat and Diana, Clark and Bruce are having a picnic in the back.

It came in handy when his kids were little and they'd get hungry during movie premieres and fundraisers. He'd just whip out snacks from his suit pocket and they'd munch on some. Even now that most of them are grown, they still slide up next to him and tug on his wrist when they're hungry.

(The only time Damian wants to be referred to as a child is when he's arguing that only he should be entitled to Bruce's snacks cause he is the only actual child. No one else listens of course)

And I know it's canonical that Batman carries like sweets in his utility belt for Robin and any kids he may come across but some of them are for him too. Imagine being a goon and Batman dislocates your shoulder while peeling an orange. I'd just quit.

People have connected Bruce's eating habits to Batman's but instead of the logical theory of Bruce being Batman, they just think that Batman is a secret Wayne child that Bruce doesn't know about. They don't want to upset him so this theory is never brought up in his presence.

(Also Bruce 🤝 Speedsters

Having to constantly eat because you have eating habits that no one else gets)

( @bruciemilf )

[living-la-vida-lesbian]

was going outside to check if the cicadas have arrived yet (they haven't, thank god) and found a dead robin. this feels like an omen.

[ligercat]

[homicidal-slvt]

{Random Incorrect Quotes Because I'm A Sleepy Mess}

-

|These are all just me if I was in their universe. Stupidity incoming lmao|

-

Y/N: Hello, child. You have been crime fighting on an empty stomach and I will not stand for it.

Tim: How did you know that- wait... How'd you get up here without me seeing you???

Y/N, slapping a sandwich into his hand: ✨Sammwich✨

Tim: ?!?

Y/N: *Sprints away*

-

Y/N, rustling through her purse: You look like you need a snack... You're not taking proper care of yourself, hon.

Jason: I'm a grown ass man. I am perfectly capable of-

Y/N, throwing a granola bar at his face: ✨Snack✨

Jason, irritated: Stop.

-

Y/N, sliding a card to Bruce, whispering: Psst... Batman... Hey. Batman... Hey.

Bruce, looking at the hand drawn father's day card, confused: ....

Bruce: I'm not your father.

Y/N: ....

Y/N: But you could be.

-

Y/N: I have a great idea.

Dick: No.

Y/N: Why?

Dick: You're just gonna stab them with a knife.

Y/N: Yeah. But it's effective.

-

Bruce: .... Where are the girls?

Dick: I think Y/N took them for a girls night out.

Bruce: ....

Bruce: They're gonna come home with cats, aren't they?

Dick: Probably.

-

[peblezq]

In lieu of the news regarding RDJ returning to the MCU, I started an Iron Man-centric fic all about him being a dad to a hero that never made it to the movies but has beat his soon to be character Dr. Doom... squirrel girl.

Anyway. Here it is. The Angst, the domestic fluff. Enjoy

[blueikeproductions]

New Professor Slappy comic commish I completed. Velma being the target once more like the Loonatics bit I did previously. This is written in homage to the old Kids WB crossover commercials.

[soupsandstars]

small break from request. was messing around with a more comic book adjacent style

[batgeance]

the holidays are coming up and with them, a lot of annual wayne functions that bruce wants NO part in AND YET……

[cann1ballistic]

today’s doodle dump 🎉

[whats-in-a-sentence]

In primates, kissing (in both homosexual and heterosexual contexts) can bear a startling resemblance to the corresponding human activity: a number of species such as Squirrel Monkeys and Common Chimpanzees engage in full mouth-to-mouth contact, while male Bonobos kiss each other with "passionate" open-mouthed kisses with considerable mutual tongue stimulation.

Two younger male Bonobos kissing

"Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" - Bruce Bagemihl

[trisshawkeye]

why is my fursona in this game

[scribbly-bear]

Owen, #15

15: "My mom used to do that."

Okay, I tried my best to fit the prompt in, however, Owen doesn't remember his mom (no one does, actually) until later, but that part is so underdeveloped that I can't write anything for it, so I did my best, but it turned out that Owen was not getting hurt then comforted, unfortunately. But anyway.

Owen held his scarf out in front of himself and sighed. A cat had torn it in an attempt to rip his throat, he liked his scarf…but there was more important things to worry about now. He slipped it back on with another sigh.

"Are you alright, your majesty?" Owen asked Sebastian. 

Sebastian didn't answer he stared blankly off towards the Mouse Kingdom, or whatever was left of it. Bruce glanced at Owen. Owen glanced back. Bruce put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Your majesty." He said quietly.

 Sebastian broke out of his trance and looked at Bruce, pain, regret and guilt showing plainly on his face. 

"I left them…" He said, choking on his words, "I left them to be slaughtered." 

Bruce didn't answer immediately. There wasn't much to say. They had left them, all the mice, to be slaughtered by the barbarian cats. 

"Your majesty," Bruce said quietly, "we will avenge them, and you will sit on the throne again, I promise you." 

"No," Sebastian said, "I'm a coward, I hate myself, I'll never deserve my father's throne, I'm sure he'd be disappointed in me." 

"No. Of course not." Bruce answered. 

"Your majesty," Owen said, "if I'm not mistaken, your father gave his life for the kingdom-"

"And I didn't." Sebastian said, his voice grew increasingly more emotional as he tried to stifle the tears. "My father sacrificed himself for the kingdom, and when it was my turn, I ran away."

"He sacrificed himself for the kingdom, and you." Owen went on, "So that you could live, he wouldn't want you to die a few days after."

Sebastian bit his lip. 

"I think he would be proud," Abigail said, she slowly walked up, "Proud of how you've been ruling, and I'm sure he would understand-"

"I left my mother!" Sebastian screamed, unable to hold them back any further, the tears streamed from his eyes,  "How could I leave my mother?!" 

"There was no other option." Owen said quietly.

"What will Moon do to her? I left her." Sebastian sank to the ground, "What have I done?"

Owen crouched down in front of Sebastian. Sebastian sat with his arms resting on his knees, his face was buried in his arms, his shoulders shook.

"Your majesty," Owen said, "your right, you ran away." Sebastian looked up.

"Your father died, your kingdom has fallen," Abigail stared in horror at Owen as he went on, "your mother, a captive of Moon, chief of the barbarians, and you, free."

Sebastian hung his head.

"I know." He answered quietly.

"But if you didn't?" Owen asked.

"What?"

"What would you be if you hadn't run away?" Owen asked. Sebastian didn't answer.

"Dead." Owen said, "You'd be dead. And what is a kingdom without a king? The kingdom has fallen, but not the king, he lives, you live. You ran away, but you'll come back, we'll all come back. Moon will regret the day he began his war."

Sebastian sighed. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand.

"Yeah." He said quietly. He smiled, "Thank you." Owen nodded. 

"One more thing." He said.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked.

"Even kings are allowed to cry when tragedy befalls." Owen answered. Sebastian smiled and nodded. 

"I guess so." He answered. Owen stood up. Bruce sat down next to Sebastian as Owen turned and began checking their supplies, they didn't have a lot. Owen sighed and bit his lip. 

"Hey," Owen turned to see Abigail standing behind him, "couldn't help but notice your scarf."

"Thanks." Owen answered with a smirk, "I'm quite fond of it myself." Abigail sighed.

"I meant that it's torn." She said, "What happened?" 

"Eh," Owen said, "Cat tried to get my throat." 

"Yikes."

"Yup." 

"You know," Abigail itched the back of her neck, "I know a thing or two about mending clothes, if you want, I could stitch it up for you." Owen raised his eyebrows.

"Sure." He said.

Owen slipped it off and handed it to Abigail. She sat down on a stump and laid the scarf over her knee. She reached into a small pouch hung on her belt and pulled out a spool of thread and a small bottle, from the bottle she took a needle. Owen leaned against a tree and watched, something tingled in the back of his mind. Abigail threaded the needle and started stitching the tear. 

"My mom used to do that."

Abigail looked up.

"What?" She said, in bewilderment. Was Owen actually going to talk about his past? He was always so secretive. She was a bit surprised when she saw a look of concern on Owen's face.

"What did I just say?" Owen asked quietly, his voice seemed uneven.

"Um, you said your mom used to do this?" Abigail answered.

"I did. How did I know that?" Owen asked, his voice shook, it scared Abigail. What was he doing?

"What do you mean?" 

"She would mend my clothes, when I would tear it, no matter how many times I ran to her with a torn sleeve, she would always stitch it up for me…." Owen's voice trailed off, and it shook.

"Why do you sound concerned?" Abigail asked.

"I never knew my mom." Owen answered, looking up, "So where did all that come from?" Abigail shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't know." She answered uneasily, "Maybe…." But her voice trailed off, maybe what? She wasn't sure what was going on in his head.

"Oh well," Owen said carelessly, braking the tension, "probably just some lady I met." He shrugged and wandered off to Sebastian and Bruce. Abigail went back to stitching Owen's scarf. She glanced at him suspiciously. What was going on in his head?

Thank you for the ask!

[batvaughn]

tv 📺 shows that you are not getting 😒 😑 🙄 😐 🙃 😤 from #WarnerBrothers