cann1ballistic

[cann1ballistic]

Mabel imagines her dream boys in suits with ripped sleeves. Wonder why

[cann1ballistic]

“You think you have problems, Stanford? I was put in a reverse bear trap! From Saw!”

“What’s Saw?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

(WIP)

[cann1ballistic]

Okay… this is terrible. I don’t think I’ll continue this.

However, I do want to share it because I spent quite a while on this… and it makes me feel better to know that I didn’t waste my time.

[cann1ballistic]

I want to talk more about my Portal!Stanley AU! I am setting everything up to make it a fanfic (but don’t count on that), so I have some new fun moments.

Stanley eventually befriends Miles, a fellow human who went through a portal in 1982 (same year Stanley went through). Turns out, he comes from a parallel world where Disco Girl is “Dancing Queen.” Weird. Anyway, he’s naïve with a happy demeanor, but he learns quickly about how to survive. Even then, he’s an optimist which makes Stanley’s life way more bearable. (I’m not throwing OCs in here for nothing. He serves many purposes like being a character foil and reflection of Stanley, being an instigator of character arcs, causing problems and finding solutions, and to actually provide levity in moments of hell. Honestly, I really needed someone for Stanley to perform banter with.)

I just love this thought of Stanley and Miles going to a restaurant, Stanley goes to use the restroom, and then the place becomes a hostage situation. “Did you get everyone restrained?!” Stanley walks out of the bathroom. “Yeah! All of them are tied up, boss!” Stanley walks right back in the bathroom.

Other memorable moments are:

- Stanley gets nonconsensual modifications when he’s almost dead and found by Bones (resident mad scientist and Stanley’s begrudging acquaintance). He wants to be human with no mechanical changes to his body because he doesn’t want a physical reflection of how these dimensions have affected him. However… His shattered spine and cracked skull were the perfect grounds for experimental experiments. He gets a metal skull and a cybernetic spine.

- When talking about the metal skull, I love this one moment that’s been rattling in my mind: Stanley is tied up and on his knees. He’s about to be executed with a shot to the head. So, the main person walks up, says a monologue, and fires right at his forehead…. It quickly rickochets off and hits the executioner, killing him. It happened so fast, nobody knew what to do. Stanley won by accident.

- With the cybernetic spine, I’d like to think that Stanford would pat his back only to be so confused on why it felt like metal. Just imagine him trying to slowly put his hand back to investigate like a cat touching water.

- Miles also gets prosthetics… such as a bionic weaponized tail. It wags when he’s happy. (It’s easier to see when he’s being genuine or lying to himself… until he learns to force it to move to keep up the charade).

- When Stanley is under sedation, he has brief moments where he thinks Bones is Stanford.

- He gets decapitated and survives due to the combination of a metal skull and cybernetic spine. Bones then holds his head like a white guy with a fish. (Also, Stanley would be pleading with tears in his eyes to not alter his body when he can’t do anything but watch.)

- He also loses his eye, but manages to have the choice to have a replacement or not. He chooses no replacement, but to have a permanent fogged up lens on his glasses to cover it.

- Also… “Sixer? Why the hell are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong. I was the one who screwed up.”

“Ford, seriously. This was all my fault. I only got in the way. Being sent into the portal was the best thing that happened to me because I had a place to atone. It was a well-deserved punishment for someone like me, even if I fucked up the part where I was supposed to get better.”

“Stanford. Stop… stop. Just stop. I’m not accepting your apologies. I promise that you have no reason to cry.”

- There’s also a moment where Portal!Stanley would see Portal!Stanford. However, it’s either from a distance, Stanley’s keeping his identity a secret, or that it’s only a brief glance with no time to say anything.

[cann1ballistic]

If we are going to talk about Teen Ford x Portal!Stan… then let’s talk.

Teenage Ford is being chased by a feral alien creature. He’s about to die, especially since he’s flunked P.E. and doesn’t have the strength or endurance to escape or fight back. However, the alien falls right before Ford’s certain death. There’s a charred hole right in the center of its body, and Ford looks up to see a rugged stranger with a gun that looks like a bat. (Is it a gun? No, it’s a gun that looks like a bat. Is it a bat? No, it’s a gun that looks like a bat.)

The stranger then takes out something that teleports the creature away. “Sorry about that, kid! I meant to get here earlier, but as I’m just passing through, I just-”

Now, Stanley isn’t an idiot. He saw Glass Shard Beach. He saw Jersey. That’s why he was late in finding the alien. He was… back home.

So, he sees Ford. Young, pretty, and looking up at him with stars in his eyes. He was going to leave immediately after securing the bounty, praying that he wouldn’t run into anybody he knows… but can he say no to what’s right in front of him? It’s easy to have a goal in mind, but accomplishing it is a whole other beast.

“… You know what? I might spend more time here to see if any other aliens wreak havoc.”

“Aliens?! And wait! What gun is that? I’ve never seen that tech before! Not just that, but what the heck did you do with that creature?! Oh my gosh!”

“Kid..”

“Tell me everything!”

…

They’re sitting at a diner while Ford is furiously writing in a notebook.

“So, that’s how I got banned in 72 dimensions…. Um, kid?, Are you writing a journal or something?”

“A journal! That’s a great idea!”

(Oh no, what have I done..)

Stan sighs.

“I do have one thing to say.” Stan reaches over and ruffles Ford’s hair.

“Wh.. what are you-?”

“You’ve gotta start appreciating what’s around you. You can go searching for new things all you want, but you can always lose the ones you already know.”

Internally, Stan thinks: Oh, fuck! Is this manipulative? Am I manipulating him? God, I’m such a piece of shit.. UGH!

Ford falls in love.

…

However, Teen Stanley eventually gets wind of Portal!Stan. It’s funny because he’s the only one so far to ask what Stan’s name is.

Stan doesn’t know what to say, so he says his name is confidential… or something.

They eventually hang out, tell each other stories, and Stan gets to experience the life that was robbed from him. The guilt may be eating him alive, but he’s wanted here. Ford is looking at him like he just hung all the stars in the sky, and if he feels like a fake… Well, that’s nothing new.

Though, it comes as a surprise to Stan that there are in fact more aliens coming to wreak havoc. He was lying before so this really comes off as a shock. It is through these battles that Ford truly falls deeper in love while learning more about just how scarred Stan is, both physically and mentally. He has decapitation wounds, a cybernetic spine, and various scars that just look terrible. He may already know about the missing eye (he tried to clean off the fog on one of his lenses, only to find out it was intentional), but this is… something else.

Then, Stan gets injured and Ford uses this to get hands-on. With permission, he starts cataloging and sketching out each scar, muscle, and embedded tech in a new journal just for Stan and his stories. Stan’s comfortable enough to let this happen, to be exposed to his brother as to show his life, pain, and achievements. It’s a way to see how Ford judges Stan’s worth.

But… the subtle touches send electric currents through Stan’s body. He’s craving more. He wants those hands to be on him and to never let go. He wants to hold someone back, to meld their bodies together, and to have a living, breathing weight against him. He wants to not only hear a heartbeat that isn’t his own, but to feel it.

Ford is feeling the same way. With every flexing muscle, he becomes putty. He wants to touch and to see more than what is given. He wants to examine Stan’s entire body. He wants to taste it, catalog it, and cement this moment in a record of both pages and body. God, even the smell of sweat and body odor is doing things to his brain.

“Kid… what are you.. what are you doing?”

“I just want to see the missing eye.. don’t worry.” Ford caresses Stan’s face and he whimpers in response.

Ford then leans in, kissing him with a light pressure against his lips. And, unsure of what his body wants to do, Stan gently threads his fingers through Ford’s hair with a steady weight against his scalp. He holds Ford as if he’s something holy.

(Ford may look at Stan like he is his hero, but Stan looks at Ford as if he was his god.)

Ford threads a thigh between Stan’s legs. Stan’s hands slowly slide down Ford’s back and onto his ass to press their hips together.

Eventually, the soft sweetness of before gives way to breathy moans and hickies. And it’s here that Stanley knows that he’s fucked up. He’s fucked up big time.

He tries to stop Ford. He really does. But Ford does not give any leeway. He’s been wanting this ever since the hour after their first meeting. He will not stop now, especially since he knows Stan wants it just as much (if not more so).

“Just… just let me see if it’ll fit…”

“Wait, Ford. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Let me see if it fits… then I’ll stop.”

They both know that’s the worst goddamn lie they’ve ever heard.

[cann1ballistic]

That’s so gross I’m going to think about it when I cum

[cann1ballistic]

Imagine taking out your sadistic needs on your F/O:

Nonsexual:

💙 Gently stroking their cheek before slapping them, watching how their pupils contract, eyes watering as their skin burns and changes into a beautiful shade of red, leaving a perfect handprint on their petrified face. A wobbly smile begins to form on their face just before your hand strikes them again, harder this time

💣 Cutting their skin and watching the beautiful contrast between their skin and quickly flowing blood. The blade, guided by your hand, dancing over their body and leaving trails of hearts, loving words and your name, little reminders of who they belong to

💙 Having them hold their arms above their head so you can get a good punch at their stomach. The pathetic whines and cries that escape them while they curl up into themselves make for a beautiful scene, along with them needlessly apologizing as they look up at you

Sexual:

💣 Having them lay back while you choke them, eyes rolling as they gasp beneath you, all the while you're grabbing and squeezing at all their most sensitive spots. Even with tears pooling at their eyes, they lean into the painful touch desperately

💙 Covering them in bruises and bite marks, tasting their blood as you lick and suck on their wounds. Turning their pathetic, begging self into a beautiful canvas, a masterpiece created entirely by you. Maybe some cutting and carving would sculpt them up even more

💣 Overstimulating them after edging them for such a long time. Making them cum, exactly like they've been begging you to, but over and over again, until every nerve in their body is sparking and burning with pleasure and pain. Hearing them sob and moan your name is like music to your ears

[cann1ballistic]

i have had this tweet saved in my drafts for like two months and i still find it very relevant and very very funny.

[cann1ballistic]

sketch commissions among other things~

p sure lee got punched after that last one tho

[cann1ballistic]

I will now ramble about my Portal!Stan AU. (Is this out of the blue? No... what are you talking about?)

This is a long post, so I'll have a page break here.

Stanley Pines is the one who goes into the portal with Journal 1. Grimy, malnourished, traumatized, and full of grief... he goes into the portal.

Stanford Pines watches his estranged brother go into the portal. He's apologizing. He won't stop apologizing. He panics. His hands shake. He can't form a coherent sentence other than "I'm sorry."

Bill Cipher takes advantage. He psychologically tortures Ford by driving the point home that he's ruined Stanley. He's ruined everything. He shows a highlight reel of Stanley's past when he was a drifter. Stanley starving. Stanley being kidnapped. Stanley getting arrested, arrested, and arrested again. Stanley hiding from people who want him dead. Stanley living in his car with the childhood photo. Stanley trying to reach out to Ford, giving up before he can say a word. Stanley having mental breakdowns, panic attacks, dissociative moments, and the worst of the worst.

Stanford, instead of learning to rely and trust his family, has internalized that he is a fuck-up with little-to-no chance of redemption. He believes that to even begin to atone, he must bring Stanley back.

But... Bill Cipher... the apocalypse...

He can't use the portal anymore. Not because the portal is broken, but because he wants a relatively normal world for Stanley to return to. He'll find another way.

Now, Stanley Pines. He's been thrown into a place where he could die any second. Not only that, but he's not in the best shape to survive. He's broken and hurt in more ways than one. In a void between worlds, he spends an hour waiting for a portal to reappear. He believes that Stanford wants to bring him back home and will use the portal to do so. Nothing happens.

Back to Stanford Pines. He calls up Caryn Pines... their mom. He breaks down on the phone and explains everything. They will hold a funeral for Stanley, even if Stanford isn't completely convinced that he's dead. But the worst part is that Caryn doesn't blame Ford for what happened. She doesn't hold it against him.

And isn't that just terrible?

Stanley Pines becomes a criminal. He takes and takes and takes. He gets into too many fights. He breaks too many things. He wasn't trying to become a criminal... it sort of just happened. But once there was a label attached to him, he learned to live up to it. Though, he needs a living. He needs a long-term goal. Even if he has given up hope that Stanford will open up the portal again for him (even if he still visits the spot), he will find a way back home.

Then... a job. Two jobs, in fact. A bounty hunter... and a monster hunter? He's already stolen a weird baseball bat/gun thing, surely this will be a piece of cake. It's not. But the payment he receives... the equipment given to him to fight the next one... He'll throw his life away to just get a chance at succeeding. He did learn to gamble after all.

Eventually, he gets non-consensual body modifications. He wants to be "human." He wants to be untouched by the worlds he's landed in. He doesn't want to change. He wants to return to Ford without being someone who is less than whole. And yet... he's the perfect test subject when he's on the verge of death and unconscious. (Woah... explicit metaphors, narrative comparisons, and subtext??)

Let's skip ahead a bit.

Stanley Pines is a master bounty hunter with a multitude of connections. He finally has a way to return home, even if there is a low chance at succeeding.

Stanford Pines continues his research to get grants, but turns the house into a museum and educational facility, though there's no one close to him. At least, until Dipper and Mabel come along. He wants to say no. But...

Stanley Pine's way to return is carefully considered. He has other options, but he's seen the monsters who destroy worlds for fun. He must find a way to bring himself, and only himself, home. And the way he decided on is using a pure ball of energy that'll be placed into his chest, compressing him down, folding his body into nothing, and reforming in his own dimension. It won't hurt, but there is a chance of exploding. An 80% chance of exploding. But hey, he knows how to gamble.

Stanford Pines finds Mabel in front of a small rift opening up in the shack. Immediately, he's filled with fear. Dipper too. However, Mabel is apprehensive.. she sees something. No. She feels something. There's a intense longing full of love and grief and desperation and, oh, it feels incredibly human. But Stanford and Dipper have already begun efforts to close it up. She tries to stop them, saying to trust her.

And Stanley Pines walks through.

Stanford Pines, once again, could've ruined Stanley.

[cann1ballistic]

[cann1ballistic]

Inspired by shmisky's post, here's my redraw of Stan and Ford from the iconic scene from Princess Mononoke. I just HAD to get this one out of my system, I was obsssesseddd

[cann1ballistic]

ford calls dipper mason when it's just the two of them. it's part of his grooming, ditching this nickname because dipper is much too mature for someone his age that he should be called his real name, mason

[cann1ballistic]

petplay but it's suspiciously garfield and jon-coded

[cann1ballistic]

by the way, if a ship disgusts you but you don’t harass people who ship it, you’re a proshipper.

being a proshipper isn’t exclusive to only “enjoying a ship that would have been morally unacceptable in real life”.

being a proshipper just means “being against online harassment”.

you can be a proshipper and be disgusted by some specific ships at the same time, as long as you don’t harass people who enjoy them.

being a proshipper literally just means you know how to scroll past / ignore / mute / block things that make you uncomfortable instead of “attacking people for enjoying these fictional things”.

being a proshipper means being against bullying and harassing people over fictional things because you can separate fiction from reality and you know that how people choose to enjoy fictional things is not your business. that’s all.

[cann1ballistic]

"Proship will desensitize you to-"

You tell people to kill themselves—adults and children alike—without thinking anything of it.

Anti-ship rhetoric has desensitized you to child exploitation, harassment, and suicide.

Stop worrying about imaginary, hypothetical problems and confront your own disconnect from empathy.