cann1ballistic

[cann1ballistic]

in honor of the superbowl

for @colonel-bastard

[cann1ballistic]

30 years is a long time 

[cann1ballistic]

Hello stanbel shippers I’m here to f e e d you. This is for a fic trade with @baddog-nobiting !! They ordered something pretty yummy and cute and uhhhhh yeah 🙈🥵👉👈 here u go babe

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“Mabel, the remote.” Stan grunted, pointing at it across the room while doinh his best not to move from his spot in the worn recliner.

Mabel got up from her spot and grabbed it. “You have to say please, Grunkle Stan, we talked about this.” She stood in front of the tv and crossed her arms.

Stanley scowled. “Mabel, it’s my house. My cable, that I pay for. Hand it over.” He held out his hand, looking at her with his infamous “no buts” expression.

She huffed and climbed into his lap, pouting at him and giving him her best doe-eyed baby girl look. “Well can I at least sit up here with you?” The gears were turning in her head. She would get a please out of him whether he liked it or not.

“Course sweetie.” He kissed her hair and plucked the remote out of her hand, noting the (slightly smudged and fingerprinted) rainbow nail polish on her fingers. “I like your nails. You gonna do mine?” He joked, pinching her side.

“When you ask me politely.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

He rolled his eyes and changed the channel, pulling his girl closer to his body. He kept a firm hand on her hip.

After a few minutes, he began tugging at her skirt, nuzzling and mouthing at her neck and jaw.

She laid her head back, baring her neck to him and humming happily. His hand started to snake into her star-printed panties and she grabbed his wrist. He looked at her in surprise. “What? Not in the mood tonight pumpkin?”

“You didn’t ask, Grunkle Stan.” She grinned innocently at him, showing off her rainbow braces that matched her rainbow nails.

“I never ask.” He teased. “I’m your Grunkle, I don’t have to.” He started to rub over her crotch. “Besides, you’re sitting here soaking wet, princess. Why don’t you let me fix it.” He started trying to get into her underwear again and she leaned down and bit him solidly. He pulled back, rubbing spit his forearm. “Ow, seriously? Fine, then you can just sit there.” He adjusted so his hard cock that sat tenting his boxers was pressing right down the middle of her ass and they sat in silence like that for a while, watching tv until Mabel fell asleep. When Stanley noticed, he picked her up and carried her to bed, muttering about having to take care of himself.

He was irritable the next day, scowling while he made breakfast. Stanford came in from a long night downstairs to refill his coffee. “Good morning.” He kissed the back of Stanley’s neck and wrapped an arm around him, resting his large hand on his brother’s chest. “What’s wrong? You’re burning your pancakes.”

Stan cursed and shut off the stove. “…. Mabel wouldn’t put out last night.”

“That’s what you’re pissed about? She has a right to say no.”

“It’s not that. She didn’t say no. She… said I had to ‘ask politely’. You know, say please.”

There was quiet for a moment before Ford laughed loudly and let go of him. “You know, I was gonna take care of that grouchy attitude but… I think I’m with our great niece on this one.” He smirked in satisfaction when Stan blinked.

“Wha- fine! I don’t need you, I have old righty here!” He held up his right hand. “And he never says no!” He huffed and started breakfast over, and Ford left the kitchen snickering.

Needless to say, Stan’s hand didn’t do the trick, it didn’t even touch the carnal need in his pants. He sighed and trudged into the living room after trying to finish in his bedroom for the last hour, pausing at the sight of the kids playing video games in their underwear. His cock twitched. Goddammit. “Okay, shoo. Get.” He started waving them out of the living room. “Go hit each other with sticks or whatever it is you do.” He plopped down in his chair, eyeing them both. “Why the hell are you naked anyway?”

“We’re not naked, and it’s like a bajillion degrees in here dude.” Dipper crossed his arms. “Can we please turn the AC up?”

“When you start-“

“Paying the electric bill, I know I know.” The tween rolled his eyes. “Come on Mabel, let’s go to the creek.” They ran upstairs to get their bathing suits on and Stan leaned back, reaching into his pants to try again to rub one out. By the time they came downstairs he was sweaty and irritated, watching tv with an insipid look on his face. Dipper yelled up to Mabel that he would race her outside and he bolted through the living room without a second glance at Stan.

“That’s not fair, I’m still tying my swimsuit!” She whined at her brother as she followed him down. Stan looked up, taking in the young girl in her fucking red and white polka dot bikini. God. Dammit. he grabbed her wrist as she ran by.

“Hey! I’m gonna lose!”

“Please.” He muttered through grit teeth.

Mabel blinked at him then squealed and grinned. “Say it again!”

“Oh come on!”

“Do iiiiiit.”

“…..” he sighed heavily. “Please Mabel; please, please, please.”

“Please… what?” She bit her lip, still grinning. She was eating this up.

“God- please get your hands dirty for me.” He covered his face with one hand, bright red.

“Okay! Since you asked sooo nicely.” She kissed his cheek and got on her knees on the carpet in front of him, before wrapping both her hands around his cock and squeezing. He moaned lowly, leaning his head back. “Fuck… thank you…”

“You’re learning so fast Grunkle Stan.” She kissed the tip of his cock before going down on him.

[cann1ballistic]

im trying not to step on anyones toes but the fact theres ford getting jealous of stan loving a ford plushie more than him comics coming from the non-stancest likers side on twitter is genuinely hillarious to me

[cann1ballistic]

HERE YE HERE YE GATHER AROUND MY LITTLE ONES

THE GREAT INERTIA FALLS HAS POSTED ON AO3.

Centerfold - Chapter 1 - InertiaFalls - Gravity Falls [Archive of Our Own]

"The year is 1971. Hamburger Helper has just been invented, the gay rights movement is well underway, and Ford is an avid reader of men's physique magazines. Meanwhile, Stan is willing to do anything for some quick cash- up to and including modeling for what he's pretty sure is just a gay porno mag."

ITS AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING BANGER AND I HAVE BEEN TASKED WITH SPREADINFG THE WORD SINCE HE CANT. I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO READ IT ENNO IS SO FREAKING TALENTED AND IT GAVE ME A BONER. ok bye

[cann1ballistic]

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FINALLY. art again (if you want to see more remember to follow my twitter) I miss my village :(((

[cann1ballistic]

*makes a stancest blog* *abandons it for like 2 weeks* *makes up for it with a bunch of doodles*

for real tho, thanks to everyone who followed me during this time! over 70 followers now, aaah~ <3

[cann1ballistic]

some 30s Stan and Ford cuz i love them so much

[cann1ballistic]

William studies | Part 05

Twitter: X

[cann1ballistic]

pre-weirdmageddon ford pining on stan is so funny. incredible: this 70 year old man is a tsundere

[cann1ballistic]

go grunkles 

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me w stancest: yeah i don’t like most dark!ford stuff. a lot of it feels ooc — like, the main thing w ford is that he’ll do terrible shit, but only if he can rationalize/justify it in his head, and a lot of this dark stancest fics have ford do terrible shit that he wouldn’t be able to justify to himself

me w dipford: alright we’ve either got 100% one-sided awkward precocious crush from dipper OR we’ve got humbert humbert 2 babyyy that’s right he’s back and he’s in gravity falls i don’t want them to be cute or hot i want dipper to be the ford to ford’s bill. cycle of abuse GO!!!!

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guys do we think ford is into smearing his cum into open flesh wounds. will elaborate if yes.

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…anyway

[cann1ballistic]

ford using dipper as a proxy to fuck his kid brother