#pebs rambles

[peblezq]

A sketch of Tony Stark and Doreen Green from my new fic "The Mechanic & the Squirrel"

[peblezq]

The best example of this is when I worked at the dollar store in 2017: a lady tried to get a refund, yelled about poor signage when I said we don't do exchanges or refunds, then I pointed at the sign on my register in clear view, and she proceeded to complain that she could have gotten better cheaper headphones at Walmart, and I said, "so shop at Walmart, then."

She was so shocked that she just grumbled something about never shopping at Dollarama again and I said "ok."

I still thrive off of that interaction to this day

"i won't be coming back here" is the funniest possible thing you can say to a customer service worker. you're at your place of work and someone comes in, acts like a jerk, ruins your day, and then, paradoxically, finishes up by reassuring you that this interaction is now over and you'll never have to see or hear from them again

[liminalpebble]

Cw: personal life stuff, death, grief, mental health issues.

Recently, my dad lost his dad. I asked him how he's feeling, how he's processing it. He said he doesn't know yet and joked that his tendency to procrastinate with some things extends to his feelings too, that it hasn't hit yet.

In this way, I'm so so much like him. I'm containing deep feelings about a lot of things (the loss of my grandpa, included), but they have a way of burying themselves until I'm just vaguely aware that somewhere in there I'm deeply stressed, and anxious, and feeling guilty and paranoid, and foggy, and angry, and frustrated, and defeated, and tired, and just so so sad.

Mentally, I know this, and I have good theories about why its happening (death, the political diasaster that will lead to horrible things for all of us, the changes in my routine, survivor's guilt, burnout from a busy few month, hell, even the increasing darkness and cold...it all adds up). But emotionally, there's a big pane of frosted glass between me and "it".

I don't "have" feelings. That implies control. I dissociate from them and work on all the practical things until at some random point they'll hit me out of nowhere, like a train wreck. It hasn't hit yet...not quite, but I'm braced so hard that my jaw hurts.

Please, just tell me I'm not the only one. Tell me I'm not alone.

[kakyogay]

Lyss has ruined me... I can't hear any of the songs from alien stage without thinking of rainw orld...

[aroacesigma]

my cat is looking a little bit weird

[peblezq]

Ask me about Little Lavender or my upcoming sequel Adolescent Aconite!

✍️ even more fic writer asks!

This one is a behind-the-scenes dive into a specific fic. Followers can send an ask with a number & the fic they’d like you to talk about ✨OR✨ you can decide what fic you’re focusing on and just ask for numbers. (Or reblog and answer everything like a Q&A)

Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

How did you come up with the idea?

Did the idea change at all by the time the fic was complete?

If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?

Did you outline the fic?

How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

How did you decide what character(s) would narrate the fic?

Did you cut something out of the outline or an early draft? What was it and why did you decide to cut it?

Did you get stuck at any point? How did you get past that?

How did you approach writing the fic? (e.g. wrote it start to finish in order, started with the ending, starting with the twist)

What was the most challenging aspect of writing it?

What program(s) did you use to write and edit?

Did you write any of the fic by hand? If yes, which parts? Do you find you write differently by hand vs typing?

Talk about the fic’s opening scene & how you approached it

Talk about the characters’ struggles & how you decided on those

Talk about the fic’s biggest moment & how you came up with it

Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

Talk about your editing and revision process

While editing, did you kill any darlings? What were they?

Did you work with a beta? How did that affect the finished fic?

Did the fic end up shorter or longer than you had planned?

What is something you learned about yourself as a writer from the experience?

How did you come up with the title?

How did you celebrate finishing?

Share your favorite line

Share your favorite detail

Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

Write a new summary for the fic, but badly

If you made a playlist, talk about the songs on it and share a link

Would you ever return to the story’s universe and write more?

[pebblebrainzz]

"Deoxys getting 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎"

- Milo

Pebble | They / Vys / Bun | Adult

Hiii I'm Pebble! I draw. This is my Main blog for what ever I want,, will prob be mostly mcyt. <3

Pokemon blog >>>>> @pokepebble

Ffxiv blog >>>>> @astroharu

Writing blog >>>>> @pebblesoap

I am an adult lesbian, I'm in a happy relationship and I will probably post abt that LOL. Big fan of Hermitcraft and pokemon and ffxiv, I listen to a lot am and tcw. I am AUTISTIC and have ADHD. I draw and write a lot but have a life so I'm like chronically here or not here.

Frequently I will mention my friends! Go follow them:

@gravitysketches (grav) @o--milo--o (milo (drew the 2nd image)) @harcosine (harcos(drew the first image!)) @starcatzstuff (salem) <- big fans of those guys !

[arolesbianism]

Y'know I don't even go into rain world tags much but I get the feeling I should block the nsh tag ahead of time (<- has started actually giving a shit abt them but also knows ppl can get Rly weird abt this stupid green robot)

[ghostlycoze]

I just fucking realised.

my motherator au.

bug iterators.

bugs in mazes.

WHAT HAVE I DONE

[pebblebrainzz]

The list post, Achieved via wayback machine.

Aphmau deleted her tumblr, which includes deleting “The List” post, I don’t THINK anyone has posted any screenshots of it since I can’t find any on tumblr, so, for archiving’s sake:

[transgenderfivepebbles]

spearmaster’s been sending me to heaven and hell at the same time i will never know peace until i’m done with this lad

[peblezq]

Palia RP Discord Server (18+)

I am shocked there is no RP server on discord for Palia, so I made one. If you're interested, reply to this post (:

LGBTQ+ Friendly

18+ (NSFW Allowed in specific channels)

Utilizes Community features on Discord (Fresh take on how the RP is run.)

Hybrid (RP in server and in game!)

For people interested in the RP aspect of Palia and wants to just have a good time

[tilia-cacophonous]

im watching spearmaster's campaign

[spotsupstuff]

GODS YOU'VE- NO IDEA HOW MUCH I -bangs hands on desk- like yes of course, everybody is valid in their interpretations and i'm also certain there are people out there who when. making content with him, they do let such kind of love pass through their fingertips, but LIKE,,, i wish i did see more content in general where he's treated with the vulnerable kind of sympathy? where it'd be acknowledged more loudly that he was so *right* to be angry, to not want to accept being a bug, that that FIGHT he put up was so... just So Much, that meant so much. he gathered the embers all alone even if he shouldn't have had to and set a hearth aflame and in society such as his doing so is so damnably hard, i just know

this is legit what i feel like while thinking and talking about Pebbles

i ADORE pebbles so much, i'm glad that you enjoy what i'm doin with him!!! thank you for bein with me in this too, hah!

What was your favorite Slugcat to play and your favorite Iterator to draw?

(i haven't played Saint yet) i suppooooooose it might be actually a tie between Spearmaster, Rivulet and Artificer? the movement of the latter two was a lot of fun, but i'm too attached to Spearmaster that i don't wanna leave it out. constant supply of spears took one of my main worries away for the whole game

and favorite Iterator to draw?? oh boy, i don't think i can choose... i do draw my own designs which i did my best to cater specifically to my enjoyment from drawing. it'd be easier to say what i like drawing the most out of their singular designs, so i'll do that (AND i get to ramble about that i love doin that)

originally i talked about like. all iterators i've ever really drawn but then i fucked up n what i had written was deleted so i guess we are doin only few. the main five i think of when trying to figure out which i like drawing the best:

• Pebbles: everything about his head is a joy to me. the shape of it, his marks, antennas.. the shape of his feet is a lot of fun and something about the combination of the Gen 3 skeletal body type and hanfu just... fits for him. along with his angry expression. it's like... a certain regal beauty but there's sharp teeth hiding within it. i like to try my best to imbue certain feelings into my designs and then how i draw them (especially on my own time- when i draw for asks i feel like... this important essence, the characterization, gets muddled at least a tad). with Pebbles i'm going for something like "small flame, burning bright- a fighter, yet so soft and fragile, sharp and divinely glorious, determined yet still so damn scared. i want to hold your hands, understand what the time has done to them and say that i'm very sorry. you shouldn't have had to become so rageful. they made you to be alive and didn't let you live." • Nish: of course *he's* here. from the scarf to the general loosenes of his fit (even though he should be more of a Tube, i'm not doin the kimono inspiration justice n i am sorry) is a lot of fun. the looser the clothes are, the more i enjoy drawing them!! i really like drawing his mark and i'm very proud of my design for his headphone audial things this time around. unlike last time, they are meant to be bigger than others' and they are red instead of dark green. the three holes in them? Especially proud of those. he's specifically high up there with my favorite iterators to draw because of his attitude, though • Boreas: he's so stupid big it makes me giggle. drawing him next to Gen 3s is so??? sir please come down we need to have a chat- hello? do u hear me???- okay but seriously, i'm very happy that i've settled on a chlamys for him. the sort of like. collar that i've decided the cloth will make for him compliments his personality well and i like drawing my collars a ton. it's not visible here because it isn't colored, but his antennas go from dark dark blue to vibrant red thru a gradient and i LOVE it so much. combined with the aggressive shape of them? mwah. also the leaf-like things on his audials are so simple to draw and add so much to his vibes that i always look forward to drawin them. revisiting his design and giving him the warranted love made him so so strong and dear to me... p sure he's currently my favorite from my ocs • Notos: a perfect example of why "less is more" is a saying. i like drawing it specifically cuz it's literally just. a bitch playing on a ghost with a bedsheet except when u look under that hood there are some Feckin yaoguai teeth waiting there. Those are a bitch to draw but i did this specifically to learn to draw teeth like that better. also. special shout out to the interaction of Iterator antennas and a bedsheet over the head. shkika keeps bein weak for those "cat ears" in our dms, it's funny to see Notos out of all my kids get those kind of reactions jglkdscmlksdmlk

• Fish: FISH IS FISH. he has big dumb round glasses what more could i possibly need to enjoy drawing a man. but also those antennas... they make him a lot of fun to draw n i look forward to drawin them each time. my thanks to @/w1ngw0ng and @/medi-bee for bettering them just by being themselves

special shout outs go to Zephyr for being challenging to represent properly (physically relatively weak, fragile, yet burning blindingly bright, sharp, determined and brave- just being a leader of a revolution even though her physical form doesn't really fit it), FAM (@/medi-bee) for bein an absolute freak (i love him. i love Nips even more)

and NRD (@/splynter) for being different yet familiar and for being colored like a dead body. Very Cool Of Them 👍

[liminalpebble]

Today I defended a boundary with a "friend" who had treated me badly (if you all remember, this is the one who ruined my birthday).

(This is just personal rambling, so feel free to ignore if you prefer to or need to for yourself. I get it and understand 💜).

She confronted me to chew me out for barely engaging with her or this friend group for the last six months, but I didn't apologize. Frankly, I think I'm right not to, and I think I owe them nothing. They did not treat me well, and I deserve not to be put in a position to be hurt and used up again. Also, I was otherwise busy with living my life, trying to do good work, handling my own shit, and trying not to make my problems anyone else's.

I explained simply and clearly that I don't have the empathetic bandwidth to take care of anyone else right now because my own shit has been, honestly, really difficult. Even so, I'm not putting my problems on anyone, nor am I taking on anyone else's. I can't right now. It's that simple. I wasn't mean. (I think I would have had the right to be, but I wanted to take the high road).

She told me I'm being selfish and acting as if I'm the only one with problems...selfish for not centering her and everyone (which is what they were used to). She told me she doesn't tolerate one-sided relationships. I didn't say it, but all I could think was "you didn't mind it the whole time I was the only one giving."

Anyway, this feels so weird because I'm feeling that shitty uncomfortable fight or flight response from this...but weirdly...not the self-inflicted guilt...(maybe a little guilt for not feeling guilty?) I dunno. I don't know what to do with this feeling. There's anger there, too. Anger that she's misrepresenting events, anger that she's trying to shame and manipulate me. I've never known what to do with anger.

I just wanted to get it off my chest, and to let you all know that I finally stopped being a doormat. Thank you for believing I had it in me. I took it to heart @roach-pizza ❤️ and all of you who encouraged me to stand up for myself. And thank you for listening to me now. It means so much that you all had my back, especially you my irl homegirl (you know who you are ❤️‍🔥)

@sweetsigyn @gigglingtiggerv2 @goblingirlsarah @littlespaceyelf @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @coldnique @acidcasualties @mochie85 @muddyorbs @smolvenger @ladyofthestayingpower @leelei1980 @hellfirenacht @unfocused81 @loopsisloops @azula-karai-27 @glitchquake @lemongingerart @elegantkoalapaper @alexakeyloveloki @veemoon @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl

[pebblebrainzz]

I'll probably end up posting snippets of mine and starvein's modern au .. crunches them

It's very mumscarian and ranchers focused SORRY I love them deeply