#Bruce and his kids

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Bruce Wayne using the bathroom and his kids slowly trailing in to simply stand there

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: We're going to put everything we love in this box.

Jason: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: no

Tim: Can I put Dick in the box?

Bruce: No.

Damian: Can I-

Bruce: NO YOU MAY NOT PUT DICK IN THE BOX!

Dick: *cries in My Brothers Just Admitted They Love Me*

[haveihitanerve]

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[psychokatrixxxy]

Love when the Justice League thinks Batman is a cryptid. This believe is only further enhanced by the face his sidekick, Robin, is clearly a shapeshifter, what with changing their height, hair style, skin tone, and even gender.

Batman clearly thinks that by having Robin look different every couple of years, it will show that they aren't cryptids like it would if Robin didn't age.

But the Justice League is too smart for that. They figured it out! But they are good friends (colleagues) and won't spill Batman's secret, but they will drop hints to him that they know, to show that they are smarter than he gives them credit for (they aren't.)

-

When the batkids learn that the league thinks this, they start periodically going to the Watchtower with Bruce, taking turns dressed up as Robin.

The League is surprised as Robin seems to prefer taking the form of a child, perhaps to have villains underestimate them? But they just assume Robin is trying out something new.

The batkids definitely tell eachother about what was said/happened as to further sell the act of Robin being a shapeshifter, because clearly it has to be the same person, Robin knows what happened, so it couldn't of been someone else dressed as Robin.

[bruciemilf]

Something something violence has always been the primary love language for Waynes, something something.

It breaks me that Bruce loves Jason so deeply, and Jason is so completely unaware of it. He comes to the conclusion that love is religion. You have to see to believe.

I’m just thinking about Jason watching evidence of how wrecked Bruce is after his death. He stalks Batman, always, tracks down every movement and breath. He waits for the perfect moment to shoot.

Your father only dies once, after all.

That moment, mysteriously, doesn’t come.

Jason’s never been scared of Bruce. Fear, to him, is darkness and cold and a bleach white face laughing at him. Fear of Bruce not being there at all. That’s fear.

I need a scene where Jason, — Red Hood, — watches Batman pin down a mugger.

He doesn’t know what that man says. Something about getting on him for not being there when Wayne’s boy got killed.

He’s never been scared of Bruce.

But when he punches that man, over and over and over, when his throat makes those horrible sounds of gasping effort, animal and feral, he’s afraid. Afraid Bruce won’t stop.

He’s about to jump in when another, smaller pair of feet runs up to the scene and Jesus Christ that’s a kid — A kid wearing Jason’s old uniform. Wrapping his arms around Batman’s and clinging.

The man on the ground is motionless. If he didn’t blink, Jason wouldn’t know there was a face anymore.

But that’s not the worst part.

The worst part is Bruce crying. Gasping, punched out noises, his hands drenched with red, squeezing the kid so close to him.

“My baby. Oh my baby.”

[frownyalfred]

I’m sure there was a part of Alfred that was worried Bruce wouldn’t immediately take to fatherhood/guardianship when he brought home Dick. But then one morning, when Bruce is still painfully young and trying to work raising a kid into establishing a vigilante, Alfred enters the kitchen to see Bruce and Dick leaning over the table together doing the crossword.

Bruce chides Dick quietly, “You’re going to fall. Sit back down in the chair.”

And it’s said just the same way Thomas had said it, once upon a time — the tired exasperation of a father trying his best not to hover, but still worrying. Casually braced against the table, in such a way that he could reach out and catch Dick if he fell.

That’s when Alfred knew things would work out. A crossword, a shared pen, an exhausted Bruce fresh off of patrol still trying to make Sunday mornings fun for a kid who desperately needs them.

[arkangelo-7]

Love the idea of the Batfamily showing a serious, united front whenever they’re working with the Justice League (i.e., obeying Bruce’s orders without question or defaulting to Dick’s authority, following Bruce’s comm protocol, upholding expected field etiquette, coordinating with one another with terrifying efficiency, and generally just not fucking around), but then the minute they get back to the Cave they immediately start to throw hands over who gets to use the PS5.

[batfsm]

Wait… who’s the earthquake? Cass? Then Duke and then Helena? Or Cass, Duke, Terry (Matt)?

No wait, the favorite has to be Cass but she’s not with him since birth…so Helena?

The kids I figured out:

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damian

It’s the others I’m confused by.

12 yrs old Jason having just been dropped off at Wayne Manor: Do you just take in every orphan you meet off the street?

Bruce: No, you're the first kid I picked up off the street. I picked up my last one at the circus.

Jason: Is that a joke? I can’t tell if that’s a joke.

Bruce: My son's name is Richard, but he insists on going by Dick.

Jason: And he’s…from the circus?

[tiger-grace]

Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?

Bruce: Rehab.

Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?

Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.

[fanaticalthings]

Just a cute lil thought:

Since Bruce's kids all love to play around and hide in his cape as Robins, I wonder if he makes them blankets out of the same materials as his cape so they can have a piece of security when Bruce isn't there?

I remember in Dick and Jason's older comics (correct me if I'm wrong), they used to stay up late waiting for Bruce when he'd go out as Batman alone, so I'm gonna take this as confirmation that all his kids have done this at some point.

So now I'm totally gonna hc that in order to encourage his kids to not stay up late for him or as a way to help them feel more safe and secure when he's not there, he makes them all blanket replicas of his cape for them to snuggle with :')

And also just imagine his kids all grown up, and they STILL have the blankets with them, regardless of if they've moved out.

[headcanonthings]

Tim: *dies* Stephanie: Timer starts now! When do you think he’ll be back? I say two months Damian: Bullshit. One month Dick: nah, half a month Bruce, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TIM JUST DIED! Jason, scratching his chin in thought: One week

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason (crossing his arms with attitude): What are you going to do? I refuse to apologize.

Bruce stared at Jason in shock, and in his anger, he made a decision that every parent dreads.

Bruce (stern tone): You are grounded!

Jason (this is a whole adult, defiant): You can't ground me!

Bruce (firmly): Grounded!

Jason (shouting, confused): But I don't even live here!

Bruce turned Jason around and pointed to the stairs leading to his old room. Jason was too stunned to respond.

Bruce (stern, but calm): Tonight. Your room. Grounded!

Jason (stammering): I- I- Wait- This isn't fair!

Bruce (scolding parent voice): I'm very disappointed in you. Now go to your room. I'm only doing this because I care for you. Grounded.

Jason (face turning red with anger and sadness): This is some bullshit!

Jason stomped upstairs and slammed the door to his old room. The sound of random items being tossed around echoed through the house.

Bruce (indifferent): He'll work it out of his system. I'm going to bed.

Dick (looking at Tim, then Bruce as he heads upstairs): Did you just ground a 23-year-old?

Tim (surprised): And did it work?

Bruce: You forget I'm Batman.

[basalting]

literally sick with grief that Bruce never got to have a baby

bruce never got to stumble, bleary-eyed in the predawn light to a crib already gently shushing and hold a small, warm body to his chest.

never got to sing a silly song about tying your shoes or help sound out words on a page.

all of bruces babys came to him half grown already, small enough to hide in his shadows but big enough to already dream about stepping out of them

[mycroftrh]

Bruce and Tim’s autistic asses have never made eye contact with each other in their lives

Like an interviewer comments lightly on his habit of adopting kids with black hair and blue eyes and he says, absent-mindedly, “Tim doesn’t have blue eyes,” to which the interviewer answers, with great confusion, that he most certainly does, and Bruce suddenly realizes he has never once looked at Tim’s eyes without the domino on and had just sort of assumed they were brown, statistically

[raynewolferune]

DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)

Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:

~

" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.

They glanced at each other and shrugged.

Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.

Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "

~

Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.