#BUT I know that’s mostly bc I’m just so desperate to get more time with her & the trio - & with 4 chs left - time is limited !!😭
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lovereadandwrite · 6 months ago
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“did you HEAR MEEE ??! PLAY THE FKIN BEAT-” -Nobara Kugisaki/Chappell Roan🙂‍↕️💅🏻🔨
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chatonfils · 4 months ago
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Starting off by saying I hate “mom Danny” bc it tends to be p transphobic and misgendering, so if anyone adds it to my post I’m blocking them.
Tim making his Kon clone baby, but the cloning chamber isn’t stable enough for the fetus. He’s desperately trying anything that he think might work, when he comes across Phantom. Phantom who has experience with stabilizing clones.
Danny had heard whispers through the grapevine (Ellie who’d joined the Teen Titans as Phantasm) that there was someone attempting to make clones. He’d only meant to snoop and see if it was a Vlad situation. If any clones had been made and needed liberating. What he found was a newly minted Red Robin crying over a red blinking message on a cloning chamber. He warbled a quiet “please, Kon, I don’t want to live without you.”
Danny quickly realizing this wasn’t an attempt to replace and destroy, but actually someone grieving, in probably an unhealthy way, but who was Danny to judge, he’d once replaced Sam and Tucker with robots for less. So he decided to help Red Robin out. Sure, he hadn’t dealt with kryptonian dna before, but he was at least 89% sure halfa dna was way more complicated. And Red Robin had already figured out ways around the dna shenanigans, it was just the stability that wasn’t going well. Honestly, he didn’t think it would be as easy as an ecto dejecto like it had been for Ellie. But his parents had a lot of inventions that they’d started making to help out ghosts, once they’d realized Danny was Phantom. Maybe telling Red Robin about ghost IVF wasn’t his most thought through plan.
“I think what might help is an incubator.” Phantom had suggested.
Tim could only gesture at the cloning chambers that had failed him thus far. They were essentially huge incubators.
Phantom awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I meant, like, a living incubator. Like a surrogate.”
“Where am I going to find someone that I not only trust to carry the baby, but also would volunteer?” Tim raised an eyebrow at him. Hell, had Tim had the equipment to do so, he would have carried the baby, everything else be damned. He just didn’t want to be alone anymore.
Phantom blushed green and looked away. “It might take a little tinkering with the embryos to work with the physiology, but…. I could carry the baby for you. I mean, I’m trans, and even if I wasn’t, ghosts are kind of malleable in a reproductive sense. And there are options for IVF in ghost science. And like, my own clone is like my little sister. I’m also a protection spirit, so I would protect the baby with my entire afterlife. And I’m kind of rambling so you should say something before I embarrass myself.”
“You would be willing to carry a baby for me?” Tim was shell shocked by the offer.
“I mean, yeah. You’re a good guy. You’re not cloning him for a malicious reason. You’re just trying to bring back a piece of your friend because you love and miss him. Dedication that strong for someone who has left the living plain, is admirable. You realized early on that you wouldn’t be able to increase the speed in which the clone grew. You’ve been trying despite knowing that this clone will be a baby that’s going to be your child, and not just the friend you lost. And I wouldn’t mind giving up my body for a little bit so you can make your family.”
Tim certainly hadn’t meant to surge forward and kiss Phantom. “Thank you.” Tim pulled Phantom into a fierce hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
It took about a month for them to work out the kinks of making the baby safe for Danny’s body. In this time, Danny showing Red Robin his human form, and Tim revealing his own identity. It felt kind of wrong to keep his name from someone he intended to get pregnant with his child. Tim and Danny got close as they worked together on the baby. And there may have been a few more kisses shared between them. In the end, the baby ended up spliced with mostly Kon’s dna, some of Tim’s (to stabilize the kryptonian dna), and some of Danny’s (to keep the baby safe in the womb).
Once Danny was well and truly pregnant, he encouraged Tim to find Bruce. “I’ll keep the baby safe. You find your dad. If you need me for anything, I’m only a call away.” Tim hadn’t forgotten about Bruce, he’d just never thought it would take so long to set up cloning Kon. So much of his hurt and loneliness had fallen away in Danny’s presence, and Danny had let him hyper focus on making their baby.
“Probably terrible timing, but I’ve got to ask,” Tim swallowed nervously. “Be my boyfriend?”
Danny’s lopsided smile, thawed Tim’s nerves. “I think I could work with that. I hope you don’t mind kids though, I’m kind of pregnant.”
Tim huffed a laugh. “I’ll keep in touch while I’m away. Please keep me updated on the baby.”
Danny pulled him into a proper kiss, “I will.”
I’m mostly imagining Tim getting bump update photos and falling in love with his increasingly pregnant boyfriend, while he finds Bruce.
I’m also imagining after Bruce is back, Tim being like, “anyways gtg, my boyfriend is in his third trimester and I don’t want to miss the birth of our baby.” And peacing out before any bats could react, let alone stop him.
And also maybe when Kon comes back, there’s maybe a poly relationship started.
Also thinking about Tim getting Danny pregnant without the science.
Danny gets Dad, Tim gets Papa, and if Kon joins, he gets Poppy.
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itneverendshere · 5 months ago
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addicted to your rafe!! you mentioned in the bartender!reader au that rafe shared his life story after their first time together and was just wondering if youd ever write about it? would love to read about rafe spilling all (in more ways than one hehe) and reader's reaction but only if its something youre interested in writing!!
i was planning on making the smut really cute BUT...it got a little out of hand bc they're both horny so....enjoy!!! but there's fluff i promise. and he spills everything (eheheh)🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😌🫢 thank you for the request 🩵🫂
i'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands - r.c (+18)
pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) warnings: SMUT!!!!; a little angst by the end and lots of fluff.
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It's past midnight, and you’re sprawled out on your bed, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. You’re still in your ratty tank top and sleep shorts, some throwaway show mumbling in the background.
The night’s quiet, a little too quiet, so when you hear a low thump at the window, you nearly jump out of your skin.
But you know that sound. That’s Rafe.
You glance over just as his messy dark blond head pops up outside the window, blue eyes gleaming mischievously. Your heart does this stupid thing, and you’re grinning before you even realize it. You slide the window up quickly, shushing him though you know he’s careful.
"Hi,” You whisper, leaning into him the second he’s in, his broad shoulders blotting out the rest of the room.
“Miss me?” he murmurs back, lips quirking as he brushes a hand through your hair.
“Maybe a little,” You tease, tugging him closer by the front of his shirt. Rafe’s standing there in just a pair of worn jeans and a black T-shirt that clings to every hard line of muscle.
God, it should be illegal for him to look this good.
His hair is still damp at the tips, like he just came from a shower. He leans down and kisses you, his fingers moving to the bare skin at your waist. You’ve been doing this dance for two months now. All hot make-outs that never really go anywhere. Mostly because you’re the one always getting called away for shifts, for family, for whatever comes up.
But right now, right here? There’s no work, no responsibilities. It’s just you and him. And the way he’s looking at you right now, all hooded eyes and smirking lips, it’s driving you crazy.
“Why’d you sneak in, hmm?” You murmur against his lips, playing with the hem of his shirt. He pulls back, just enough to look down at you, a lazy smile on his face.
“Wanted to see you,” he breathes, eyes tracing over me like you’re something to devour. “Couldn’t wait.”
You practically pounce on him, shoving him back until he’s pinned against the wall by the window, his eyes widening for a split second before his hands are holding your hips, steadying you as you sit on his lap. You love it when he manspreads.
It’s so unlike you it’s almost funny, but at this point you’re desperate to feel him. You press yourself up against him, grinding slowly, and you feel the exact moment he realizes just how serious you are right now.
“Fuck, baby—” he groans as his grip tightens, like he’s trying to keep himself in check. But you don’t want him to hold back.
“I’m done waiting,” You breathe, pushing his shirt up and over his head in one quick motion. “Rafe—I’m losing my mind here.” His shirt hits the floor, and you lel yourself really look at him.
All muscle, golden tan skin, the little dip between his abs you’ve fantasized about running your tongue along. You’ve seen him shirtless a million times, but right now?
He’s a goddamn masterpiece.
“I’m so horny it hurts, okay?” You admit in a whisper, almost like you can’t help it. His lips twitch as he leans in, his breath hot against your neck.
You feel your cheeks heat up. It’s not like you’re shy around him anymore, not really, but this feels different. You’re usually more reserved, the one who lets him make the moves, but tonight...you can’t help yourself.
“Sorry baby,” he murmurs as he rolls his hips up, and fuck, you can feel how hard he is already, straining against his jeans, “Want me to fix it for you?”
You know what he’s asking. You’ve had this conversation before—kind of.
The two of you have been skirting around it for weeks now, with heavy petting and breathless goodnights. You want more. You hook your fingers into his belt loops, tugging at him, and he hisses, biting back a curse. 
“Bed” he grunts, half-laughing, half-panting as he lifts you like you weigh nothing, carrying you across the room.
You’re already tearing at his belt by the time you hit the bed, and he lets out this breathless, desperate sound, half-plea, half-growl that shoots straight through you.
“Need you,” You gasp, yanking the belt free, popping the button on his jeans. He’s still standing, hovering over you as you sit on the bed, and you look up at him, chest heaving, hair messy, eyes wild.
“Yeah?” he breathes, and there’s this edge to his voice. You smirk, tugging his zipper down slowly, deliberately, keeping your eyes on his as you push his jeans down his hips.
“Yeah,” You know you have him. He’s yours, and he’s done waiting, too.
Once his jeans hit the floor, he’s on you, all heat and muscle. Rafe’s hands grip your wrists, pinning them above your head as he looks down at you, breathing hard. 
“I was trying to make it special,” he murmurs, his voice low, almost gravelly. “Our first time.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes, he’s so stupidly and unexpectedly endearing sometimes it makes you fall even more.
“This not special enough for you?” You tease, arching your back and lifting your hips, feeling the slickness pooling between your thighs. “I don’t do it for you?”
“Oh, you do it for me, baby. Believe me.” His voice drops an octave, “’M trying to be a gentleman.”
“I don’t want a gentleman,” You quip, your tone playful, “I just want you.”
He wants to give in, but you know he also wants to take his time. “You sure about this?”
“Rafe. My shorts are stuck to my skin.”
He breathes in sharply, head dropping to your shoulder, as he murmurs, “You’re not wearing any panties?”
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. What’s it to you?” You tease, biting your lip, but you know you’re being a little reckless, teasing him like this.
He’s gonna get you good.
Rafe lifts his head, that infuriatingly handsome smirk still plastered on his face. “So you are, huh?” His voice is low, almost predatory. “You trying to drive me crazy?”
You shrug, trying to play it cool even though it physically hurts not to touch him the way you want to right now. “What if I am?”
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck. You arch against him, your breath hitching when he finds the sensitive spot just below your ear and sucks gently.
Your top hits the floor a second later. He’s kissing you again, his hands cupping you through your bra.
“Please,” you breathe, not even sure what you are asking for.
More, closer, something to stop the aching between your thighs. He seems to understand, though. He always does. 
He unclasps your bra and tosses it aside, taking you in inch by inch, “My pretty girl,” You feel a blush creep up your cheeks, but before you can think about it, he dips his head and takes one of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue flicking over the sensitive peak.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, he hums against your skin, the vibration making you delirious. His hand slids down to your shorts, pulling them with an easiness that makes your head spin.
Then they are gone, too, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. Rafe pulls back slightly, his eyes raking over your body with a look that makes you squirm.
“Beautiful,” he mutters, almost to himself. “So fucking beautiful.”
“Rafe,” you whisper, reaching for him. When he finally slips his fingers into your panties, you are already trembling. “Please,” you whimper, rocking your hips against his hand.
“Shh,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I’ve got you, baby.”
He’s touching you, his fingers finding your slick heat and stroking gently. You’re so wet his flingers glid right on. You gasp, hips bucking up instinctively as his fingers move across your folds, teasingly slow and close to your clit.
Rafe smirks, clearly enjoying how wrecked you already are.“Easy, baby,” his lips brush against your jawline. “We got all night.”
You’re past patience.
You grab his wrist, guiding his hand exactly where you want it. “Rafe,” you groan, your voice breaking a little, “I need more. Don’t piss me off.”
He chuckles, “So needy tonight,” he teases, but his voice is tight, like he’s losing it too. His fingers dip lower, stroking where you need him most, and you nearly lose it right there.
He lingers there for a moment, just barely grazing your slick folds, before pressing a finger against your entrance, warm and insistent. Slowly, he slides it in, and the sensation makes you moan—a slow, deliberate stretch as his finger sinks deep inside you. He curls it just the way you need him to, stroking your inner walls. It’s intimate, almost unbearable in how good it feels, the way he’s taking his time, drawing it out like he’s savoring every second. You tighten around him, wet and hot, and he groans softly as he adds another finger, filling you more, the stretch making your legs tremble.
“Fuck,” you whimper, your head falling back as he starts to pump his fingers in and out. The way his fingers stretch you, the wet sounds of him working you open, is filthy and intoxicating.
“Like that, baby?” His voice is thick with lust, his free hand gripping your thigh, keeping you spread wide for him. He’s so strong it makes you want to suck him whole.
You nod frantically, too far gone for words, only able to moan as he quickens the pace, thrusting his fingers in harder. Your walls flutter around him, tightening with every stroke, and you know you’re getting close—embarrassingly quick, but it’s been a while. 
His thumb circles your clit, and the sensation makes you cry out, your body arching off the bed.
“Oh God—please,” you gasp, your fingers clutching at his arm, desperate for more. He smirks against your skin, clearly enjoying the way you’re panting beneath him. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, and he knows it.
His lips brush against your neck, teasingly slow, while his fingers move with purpose, hitting all the right spots. Your breath is coming in short, ragged bursts as your body answers to his. You can feel the heat coiling tight in your belly, and you’re practically shaking with anticipation.
He presses his forehead against yours, his breath uneven, eyes locked on you as if he’s watching every bit of pleasure cross your face.
“Come for me, baby,” he murmurs, his voice just as wrecked, “Let me feel you.”
You’re so close it’s dizzying, you can barely catch your breath. 
He leans in, lips caressing your ear, “That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin. “I can feel you’re almost there. You’re so tight around my fingers—fuck, you’re close, aren’t you?” You can only nod, your breath hitching as his thumb circles your clit with just the right pressure, your hips grinding up into his hand instinctively. every word out of his mouth pushes you closer. “Look at you,” he coaxes, his voice like velvet, “So perfect.”
His fingers twist inside you, hitting that sweet spot, and your whole body tenses. The pleasure builds into a burning coil deep in your tummy, tightening with every movement.
You can’t think, can’t breathe, and all you can do is feel—feel him, feel the way he’s working you. The way he’s talking you through it. 
“Just like that,” he whispers, “You’re doing so good, baby. Let me feel it.”
His thumb presses harder against you, and your whole body jerks up. You cry out, a broken sound, your hips bucking uncontrollably as your orgasm hits you perfectly. Rafe’s fingers never stop, drawing it out, his other hand still gripping your thighs open “That’s my girl,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful when you come.” Your body trembles beneath him, the pleasure still vibrating through you, and he’s right there, “Ride it out, baby,” he breathes, his lips kissing your temple, his voice full of pride. “I’ve got you. You’re doing so good. So fucking good.”
You can’t do anything but cling to him as you shudder. He finally slows his fingers, easing you down gently, and when he pulls them out, you feel the emptiness like a loss. You’re still catching your breath, body buzzing from the orgasm he just wrung out of you, but you notice the shit-eating grin on his face as he glances down at his hand, fingers still slick from you, and then slowly brings them to his mouth.
He holds your gaze, never breaking eye contact as he slips his fingers between his lips, tasting you. It’s slow and the way his eyes darken while his tongue sweeps over his fingers makes you whine. 
"God, baby," he murmurs around his fingers, as he pulls them from his mouth with a soft pop, licking his lips. “You taste so fucking good.”
You’re breathless, watching him like you’re in a trance, your heart pounding in your chest. The sight of him tasting you like that, makes your legs open again. He grins, noticing how wrecked you look. “Didn’t think I could want you more,”
You’re still so turned on that you can’t help the way your thighs squeeze together instinctively. His eyes flicker down, catching the movement, and his grin only widens as he crawls back up your body, settling between your legs, “Don’t tease.”
"Don’t worry, baby," his lips skim against yours, “Not teasing anymore.”
You don’t know where you get the strength to do it. But you do it anyways. 
As soon as Rafe settles back, you push him onto his back, taking advantage of his surprised expression, and climb on top, straddling his waist, your hands braced against his chest. You can feel the hard planes of his abs beneath your fingers, and the heat of him pressed against your pussy makes your mouth water. You can feel it building inside you, the need to take him, to ride him until there’s nothing left.
His hands settle on your ass, firm, but not controlling, giving you full reign to take what you want. His eyes are on yours, half-lidded and a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Go on, baby,” he drawls, his voice like honey, “Show me what you can do.”
You don’t even remember pulling his boxers down.
You don’t need to be told twice.
You let yourself brush against the hard length of him, and the sensation alone makes you bite your lip to hold back a moan. His cock is thick, long and hot beneath you, and you grind against him slowly, dragging your wetness along his length, teasing the both of you. You’re rocking back and forth against his tip, dragging him in between your soaked folds and pulling huffs and puffs from his throat as he only grows more impatient by the second.
“Fuck,” Rafe groans, his hips jerking up involuntarily, your clit rubbing against his pubic hair with every movement, the friction doing it for you. His abs tense beneath you, flexing with each of your movements, and the sight of it—of him completely at your mercy—only makes you wetter. 
You lean forward, your hands sliding up his chest, feeling the way his muscles move under your touch.
“You like that?” you murmur, your voice breathy, teasing, as you grind harder against him. “Like watching me ride you?”
Rafe’s head falls back against the pillow, all the way back, his jaw clenched, his breath coming in ragged gasps. “Jesus Christ,” he groans, his hands gripping your hips tighter, lifting his hips to try and shift his cock towards your entrance.
You lean in, your lips dragging against the side of his neck. He shivers under your touch, and the reaction makes you grin. You start off slow, pressing gentle kisses to his skin, your lips trailing from his jaw down to the spot where his pulse is beating just a little faster, teasing him with your breath.
“Right here?” you whisper, barely grazing his skin.
You can feel his body tense as you speak, a low sound escaping his throat. You roll your hips again, this time letting the tip of his cock catch at your entrance. You’re so wet that he slides in just an inch, and the stretch is enough to make you gasp, your nails digging into his chest. His eyes fly open, and you can see the tension in his body, every muscle tight as he holds himself back from pouding into you, waiting for you to take him fully.
You press your mouth to his neck and start sucking, enjoying the taste of him under your lips.
His grip on is borderline bruising and you love it when another low moan slips out as you work your mouth against him. You make sure to take your time, alternating between sucking and nipping lightly with your teeth, just enough to make him shudder beneath you.
“Shit,” he breathes, his voice strained as you keep going, making sure to leave your mark. With a deep breath, you sink dow, slowly feeling every inch of him stretch you, filling you completely. The sensation is overwhelming—he’s big, almost too big, and it feels so fucking good you almost drool. By the time you’re fully seated on his lap, his cock buried deep inside you, your thighs are shaking, and you can feel the heat pooling in your belly all over again.
You suck harder, enjoying the multitasking, applying enough pressure enough to leave a dark bruise that he won’t be able to hide. His fingers dig into your waist, but he doesn’t pull you away—instead, he’s holding you there, like he wants to feel every second of it.
“Now everyone’s gonna know you’re mine," You manage to breath out, moaning as you grip his chest for support, spit slicked lips parting as you gasp some more, "You feel so good."
His eyes are hooded as he looks down at you, lips parted, breathing uneven. “Yeah?” he rasps, his gaze flicking to your lips before he grins, a little breathless. “Didn’t think you had it in you, baby.”
His hands slide up your waist, his fingers splayed across your ribs, guiding you as you start to move. You start to ride him, slow at first, grinding your hips in slow, deliberate circles. The friction, combined with the way his cock fills you, hits every nerve just right. Maybe if it was someone else you’d be embarrassed to be panting like a bitch in heat, but it’s Rafe and you never felt so comfortable during sex before.
Every time you lift your hips and drop back down, you take him deeper, as you work yourself on top of him. His hands slide up to your tits, squeezing gently, his thumbs brushing over your nipples.
You pick up the pace, bouncing on him harder now, grinding down with each thrust, chasing that high. Rafe’s eyes are glued to you, watching every move you make, his lips parted, his chest heaving with each stolen breath.
“Fuck,” you pant, barely able to catch your breath as you ride him faster, “I want you so deep, so bad.”
He lets out a rough, desperate groan, his hips bucking up to meet yours, his cock hitting even deeper inside you. “I’m right here, baby,” he grits out, his voice strained with the effort of holding himself back, “Take what you need. I’m all yours.”
His hands are on you, gripping your ass with a desperation that makes you mewl out. His fingers dig in, rough and possessive, and the way he’s groping you, like he can’t get enough, makes you want to never stop. Each time you move, his hands flex, squeezing and pulling you down onto his cock, it has you practically whining with every bounce.
“You’re driving me crazy. Just look at you, taking me so good.”
His grip tightens as you roll your hips, pushing your ass back against his hands, the pressure sending a jolt of pleasure straight through you. You’re completely lost in the rhythm now, grinding down on him like you’re in heat, the friction of his cock inside you and the way his pubic hairs rub against your swollen clit making you lightheaded.
And then, out of nowhere, his hand comes down hard.
The sting of his palm smacking your cheek sends a shock through your body, and you gasp—half surprise, half pleasure. It’s rough, but fuck, it feels divine. Your head snaps forward, and you moan, the sound coming out needy. 
“You like that, huh?” Rafe growls, a smile playing on his lips as he watches you react. His voice is thick with satisfaction, knowing exactly what he just did to you. “Being spanked?”
You bite your lip and nod, too far gone to be shy. "Yes," you pant, your voice shaky with need. "Do it again."
He doesn’t need to be told twice. His hand comes down again, harder this time, it makes your skin burn and clench around him. The pleasure spikes, white-hot, and you moan louder, your body arching into his.
"Fuck, you're so sexy like this," He groans, watching you with hooded eyes, clearly loving how much you’re enjoying it.
You practically whimper, the combination of pain and pleasure sending you spiraling. You’re riding him like you’re losing your mind, your thighs burning. The way his hand soothes your skin, kneading the tender area where he just spanked you, makes you want to do this every single day for the rest of your life.
You lean forward, bracing your hands on his chest as he bucks his hips, meeting your movements with his own, driving deeper inside you. It’s too much and not enough all at once.
“You feel so good,” you hiss as you rock your hips faster. His tip hits that perfect spot deep inside you, again and again.
His eyes flick between your face and where you’re connected, and you can tell he’s close too. His grip tightens on you, nails digging into your skin like he’s afraid to let go.
“You’re killing me, baby,” he rasps, voice hoarse, “Fuck, you’re so good. You’re gonna make me come.”
Feeling you wrapped around him like that—so fucking tight, so warm—he can’t fucking stand it. Every time you slide back down, taking him all the way like you're made for it, he feels his mind slipping. It's like he's losing control, just hanging on for dear life, and every little throb around him pulls him closer to his orgasm, it makes him feel dangerously close to delirium. 
He uses one of his hands to grip and knead at the fat of your hip. You let out a high-pitched squeal and clench around him. "Baby," you cry out, pretty tears collecting on your lash line. 
He pinches your chin lightly, rubbing the pad of his thumb against your skin, “You have to be quiet, pretty,” you glance up at your boyfriend, “The walls are thin, and you can’t—”
You interrupt him by leaning down and kissing him sloppily. You swirl your tongue around his, feeling the way his cock throbs inside you as he grinds up into you, hitting that spot every single time.
The sloppy kiss you planted on him shuts him up, but only for a second. His lips slide against yours, his tongue swirling in that messy, desperate way that makes your head spin. He groans into your mouth, rough and low, like he’s losing the control he’s trying to hold onto. His hand slides from your chin to the back of your neck, holding you in place as you ride him faster, bouncing harder on his cock.
“Look at you,” he grits, pulling back just enough to watch the way your face twists in pleasure. The way you clench down on him makes him groan, his grip on your neck tightening just a bit as his other hand lands another sharp slap on your ass.“You like when I fuck you like this, huh?”
You whine against his lips, your body trembling as he thrusts up harder, meeting each of your desperate bounces. You can feel the pressure building inside you, ready to snap. 
His hand slides between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit, rubbing tight, quick circles that make you drop your head forward, laying on your body on top of his. You can’t stop the way you grind down harder on him, chasing that final push.
“Fuck, baby,” you gasp, barely able to push the words out. “I’m gonna—”
And then you’re gone, falling into that mind-numbing pleasure as you come hard around him, your whole body shaking, thighs tightening around his as your orgasm crashes over you. You’re clenching around his cock, the feeling making him curse under his breath, his hips bucking up into you as he chases his release.
He rams up into you, full force, his breath coming out in harsh, irregular pants. “I’m right there,” he groans, “Gonna fill you up, you want that?”
You can barely nod, still lost in the aftershocks of your orgasm, but that’s all he needs. With one final, deep thrust, he comes hard inside you, groaning your name as he spills into you. His hands grip you tight, holding you down on his length as he empties himself into you, his whole-body twitching with the intensity of his release
His hands roam lazily over your back, the touch slow, like he doesn’t want it to end. He’s still inside you, softening, but neither of you make a move to separate.
His lips press a few lazy kisses against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin as he murmurs. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?”
You smile weakly, too blissed out to respond, and nuzzle into the crook of his neck. After a few minutes, you reluctantly lift yourself off him, a soft whimper escaping your lips at the loss of connection. Rafe lets out a content sigh, his hands still trailing down your sides as you move.
You flop down next to him, breath still shallow, your head resting on his chest. He immediately pulls you close, his arm wrapping around you, holding you tight.His hand stops moving, resting on your back, and you feel his chest rise as he takes a deep breath.
"My mom left when I was seven," he says, voice oddly quiet, almost hesitant, like he’s not sure where to start. It almost feels like he’s talking to himself more than to you. He’s lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, one arm slung across his stomach, the other still lightly resting on your waist.
You lift your head, looking up at him, but you stay quiet, giving him space to talk. 
“She just… up and left. Told me she was going to visit some family and never came back.” He lets out a short, bitter laugh, his chest rising and falling against you. “I used to sit at the window for weeks, thinking maybe I’d see her pull up one day. But she didn’t. She never did. And I thought, you know, for a long time, maybe it was me. Like, maybe if I’d been better, she would’ve stayed. I don’t know—kids think dumb shit like that, right?”
You feel your heart tighten at the pain in his voice, and you reach up, brushing your fingertips against his chest. He doesn’t look at you, but you can feel him lean into the touch just a little.
“And Ward… fuck, Ward didn’t know what to do with us. He just buried himself in work, left me to deal with Sarah and Weezie. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I was just a kid myself. I never accepted that responsibility, just kept running away from it.”
You can tell this is hard for him. His hand tightens slightly around your waist, like he needs to feel you’re still there.
“When I was sixteen... I started doing coke. Barry—yeah, that Barry—he used to sell it to me. Just to take the edge off, you know? Numb it all out. Ward’s expectations, Mom being gone, having to pretend like I had my shit together when I didn’t. I didn’t care about anything but getting high.”
He pauses, swallowing hard, his jaw tightening. You can tell this part of his story is the hardest to tell.
“I fucked up a lot. Scared the shit out of my sisters. I’d disappear for days sometimes, come home all strung out, and Sarah—God, Sarah would just look at me like... like she didn’t even know me anymore. Weezie was too young to get it, but Sarah? She knew.” He lets out a shaky breath, “I saw what it was doin’ to them. Saw how Sarah would flinch every time I walked through the door like she was waiting for the next disaster. It got bad—real bad.”
His voice drops even lower, almost like he’s ashamed.
“I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. The one scaring my little sisters, acting like a piece of shit. So I went to rehab. Didn’t tell anyone where I was going, just… left. I needed to get clean, for them. For me, too, I guess.”
He pauses, looking at you now, his blue eyes filled with something vulnerable, something that almost breaks your heart.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get out of it, but I did. Been clean since. That doesn’t mean I’ve figured everything out, though. I’m still... fuck, I’m still a mess most days.”
He’s never opened up to you like this before—not like this.You reach out and run your fingers through his hair, the simple gesture calming him a little. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment. 
“You probably didn’t sign up for all this shit,” he says with a half-smirk, trying to lighten the mood. “Me, my addiction, all that.”
He opens his eyes, looking at you like he’s waiting for something—maybe for you to tell him you can’t handle it. But you don’t say that. Instead, you brush your thumb across his cheek, “I signed up for you, Rafe. All of you.”
“I don’t talk about this shit much. Guess I didn’t think anyone cared enough to hear it.”
You move, propping yourself up on your elbow so you can look him the eyes properly,. “I care,” you say, your voice full of conviction. “I care about all of it. I’m here for you.”
He can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
His hand moves to hold your cheek, pulling you down to meet his lips in a slow, tender kiss. When he pulls back, his forehead rests against yours.
“You have no idea what you mean to me.”
He kisses you again, this time deeper, his hand sliding up the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair.
His lips trail from your mouth, pressing lazy kisses down your jaw, over your neck. He shifts, pulling you closer, your body molding perfectly to his. “I don’t deserve you,” he mutters, his lips hovering over your collarbone.
You shake your head, resting a hand on his chest. “You do. You deserve someone who’s gonna be there for you.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 
You know this is a side of Rafe not many people see—probably no one else does. 
“Good thing you won’t have to find out.”
“You make it sound so easy,” he murmurs, his lips twitching into a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says suddenly, the words spilling out of him in this quiet, almost reverent way.
You can’t help the soft laugh that escapes you as you lean down, pressing a kiss to his nose. “Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”
He chuckles softly, pulling you closer again, his arms wrapping securely around you. His cheek rests against the top of your head. You’re not going anywhere. And neither is he.
Rafe lets out a disbelieving laugh, running a hand over his face. “I can’t believe your pussy made me trauma dump after sex.”
The crudeness of it makes you roll your eyes.
“Yeah?” You tease lightly, “That what you’re calling it?”
He swallows, feeling that familiar tightness in his throat, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating this time. You’re still here. “No. It’s...you. Just—being you.”
He doesn’t know how to say it any better, doesn’t know how to put into words what it means to finally be seen — not as the perfect son, not as a ticking time bomb — just as Rafe.
But you peck him, simple and sweet.
“I guess I’ll just keep being me.”
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The next morning you’re standing in the kitchen, lazily pouring milk over your cereal, still a little giddy from the night before. Rafe left earlier, before anyone was up, whining about how he wished he could stay longer.
As you take a spoon, your sister walks in with Milo perched on her hip, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Monica stops in her tracks, a sly smile creeping across her face.
“Nice hickey you got there,” she says, raising an eyebrow and gesturing toward your neck.
You choke on your cereal like an idiot.
“Uh, it’s just a... a bug bite! A really aggressive bug bite,” you stammer, trying to sound convincing as you awkwardly touch your neck.
Right, you’d forgotten about that after round three this morning.
She laughs, clearly not buying it. “Right. And when am I meeting him? Are you gonna make him sneak through the window again?”
You can’t help but giggle at the mental image. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Monica rolls her eyes, clearly enjoying this way too much. “What’s next? Is he going to slide down a fire escape to avoid us?”
You smirk back, shaking your head. “Only if you promise not to scare him off with your ‘get-to-know-my-sister’ interrogation.”
Milo, oblivious to the banter, tugs at your sister’s hair. “Mommy, can I have a snack?”
“Just finish getting ready for pre-school, buddy!” She turns back to you, still wearing that teasing grin. “Seriously though, when do I get to meet this guy? I need to know if he’s worthy of you.”
You shrug playfully, trying to keep your expression neutral. “We’ll see. Maybe next time he sneaks through the window, you can just happen to be in the living room.”
She gasps in mock horror. “Oh no, imagine the chaos! I might just scare him away on purpose.”
You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “You’re terrible.”
“Terribly excited! You better let me know when he’s back. I want to be ready to intimidate him.”
“Noted!” You wave her off, still grinning, secretly glad that your sister is supportive—even if she loves to poke fun at you.
For some reason, it doesn’t scare one bit thinking about Rafe meeting Monica and Milo.
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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what red flags should i look for in a man?
I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, just any human being across the board. Ok so:
When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.
Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.
Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.
People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.
Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.
If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.
Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.
It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.
Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.
This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.
Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.
People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.
Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.
The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.
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daycourtofficial · 1 year ago
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Forever is the sweetest con
Cassian x reader, Azriel x reader
Summary: based on this request - the war with Hybern claimed the life of your husband. Reeling with grief, you discover that you’re pregnant. His brother and your friend, Azriel, begins spending more and more time with you, finding solace in each other amidst your shared grief.
Author’s note: sadness, sadness, sadness, this one took me ages to write bc it’s so fucking sad 😭 I’m not super happy with this bc I was mostly trying to meet the deadline so this might feel disjointed bc I had to kinda skip around a lot. Also I didn’t tag this as Cassian x reader in tags bc it felt too painful to do that
Word count: 3k
Warnings: character death, unexpected pregnancy, honestly just sadness
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“I’m Cassian.”
A large, handsome male greeted you as you were shelving some new books away. His large outstretched hand reached towards you, waiting in the air for a moment as you set the stack of books in your arms down. Your hand gets lost in the warmth of his, telling him your own name.
He smiles at it, repeating it, testing it on his tongue.
For days, that is the only memory playing in your head. It is what you think of as you lay in your shared bed, his scent still lingering. It is what you think when Feyre picks you up, and her and Mor place you in a bathtub as they clean you. It is what you think of as you stare at the ceiling, hoping it will collapse on you.
It is what you think of as you stand between Rhysand and Azriel at Cassian’s memorial. It is what you think of as they lower the casket into the ground, the citizens of Velaris standing around to pay their respects.
You don’t notice the hundreds of people who come to offer you a silent nod, a gentle prayer over you, their voices carrying gentle choruses of “he was so brave” and “you should be proud”.
You’re too numb for any of this. You’re too numb to recognize the hand Azriel places on your back, or the hand Feyre clasps into your own, squeezing tightly.
All you can think about is how his hand felt in your own the first time you held it - warm, gentle, comforting. And how it felt the last time you held it - cold, lifeless, gone.
Being a war hero came with a cost.
Only Cassian didn’t have to pay it - those he left behind did.
-
You’re not sure how much time has passed since Cassian died. You’re not sure if the people of Velaris still mourned him, or were simply wearing the traditional colors of their court.
You sat in one of Cassian’s old tunics, piles of clothes scattered on the floor around you. Your back was to the wall, its cool surface warming with your heat.
You hear movement in the house, but you don’t have the energy or ability to care who’s here.
Someone knocks gently before coming into the room, Azriel’s large frame coming through the door to your chambers. He sees the slightly ajar closet door, and shimmies his way in, sitting next to you amidst the pile of clothes on the floor.
He notes that they all seemed to have been pulled right off their hangers, in a fit of rage or desperation perhaps. Shades of black and red litter the floor, and the realization that it was all Cassian’s clothes causes him to take in a deep breath.
You two sit for a while, Azriel’s wings likely cramped in the small space. Mother knows Cassian complained if he spent more than five minutes in your closet.
Azriel just sits in silence, his shadows gently swirling the floor, searching through the piles.
For what, you’re not sure.
You finally speak, the words hard to form. You didn’t speak much these days - your voice a rare sound for your family’s ears.
“He doesn’t need them to be hung up anymore.”
Azriel sighs, shifting closer to you. He gauges you, looking for a reaction before moving a bit closer.
“He never needed them hung up. Before you he mostly just left his clothes strewn about the room. Drove Nuala and Cerridwen mad.”
You look at him, pulled from your trance of that black shirt Cassian wore when the two of you went on vacation in Adriada. The shirt that fit him so well the two of you did not see the beach at all for the five days you were there.
“They’d complain, saying every night he’d pull his clothes that they neatly hung up and the next morning they’d be strewn about his room,” he shrugs, still confused over how Cassian kept track of where everything was.
“Eventually Rhys told them to stop and to let Cassian do what he wants. No idea how he managed to stay neat and tidy with you.”
Your eyes meet his, and he reaches out a hand for you. It’s the first offer of help you’ve accepted in days. You keep his hand in yours for a long time, sitting amongst Cassian’s clothes.
-
You were sitting on the small balcony of your home, looking out at the expansive night sky above you. Elbows on knees, collapsing in on yourself.
Eyes red rimmed, tear tracks marking your face. You had never felt so helpless or as hopeless as you did now. Your eyes snag on a dark figure, soaring through the skies, its body getting closer and closer.
Azriel had taken to checking on you every three days now. Make sure you were eating, washing, and moving. Honestly if it weren’t for these biweekly check ins, you’re not sure how you would be faring.
The Illyrian descends next to you, a soft landing as he tucks his wings back in and sits next to you. You two sit in silence for a while, the sounds of the night a melody playing for just you two.
Velaris is dark, few fae lights scattered throughout the city aglow. You breathe deeply, taking in the smell of Azriel next to you. You should tell him, but you haven’t been able to tell anyone all week.
It was eating you up - you knew they’d be supportive, you knew they’d love you and help you in anyway they could. But it would still break their hearts just a bit more.
Your internal debate is ended by the overwhelming turn of your stomach, your lunch from earlier wanting to make a quick exit. You hurriedly get up, running towards your bathroom and throwing yourself on your toilet, narrowly reaching it in time.
Azriel ran after you, making quick work of grabbing your hair before you began your second wave of vomiting. The only sounds in the room are your retching and Azriel’s soothing tunes.
His other hand gently rubs your back as you feel as if you’re going to die. From embarassment or pain, you’re not sure. He waits for you to say what he already suspects, having noted a subtle shift in your scent when he arrived.
You wipe your mouth, not wanting to say the words aloud. The words that Madja had told you three days ago, the words that caused you to shut down until now.
“I’m pregnant,” you say, head leaning against the toilet seat. “All Cass wanted was to be a dad. Now I’m pregnant and he’s dead.”
A forced laugh comes from you.
“It’s not fair, Az.”
Your words hang in the air, and your friend responds by wrapping his arms around you, and pulling you into his lap. He nuzzles his head into your shoulder, his breath shuddering as he cries softly into your hair.
The two of you lay there, the cool bathroom tile digging imprints into your skin as he holds you, tears streaming from both of you.
-
Several months along in your pregnancy, and Azriel has essentially moved in with you full time. He takes meticulous care of you and the babe - he goes to your appointments with Madja with you, he goes baby shopping with you, he even put together the crib in your room.
He was your late husband’s brother. He was stepping up, knowing that Cassian would want him to help you. And yet your dreams wouldn’t stop being so perverse.
For the past month, every night without fail you dreamt of Azriel. Every dream was different - some of places you’ve gone before, places you only know of because Azriel described them.
The dreams were weird and disorienting, but you left them there. They were dreams.
About how beautiful he was. About his hands, his wings, his shoulders, his thighs.
Every day you’d wake up full of shame at where your mind takes you against your will.
-
“Az,” you say, a serious look on your face. “Something’s wrong.”
He looks over to you, glasses perched on his nose. The knife in his hand clatters, landing on the cutting board, a piece of carrot tumbling to the floor as he moves to you quickly.
Your breathing becomes more shallow, and you hold your hands out, reaching for his. Once his fingers reach yours, you bring his hands to your bump.
Just as he’s about to ask what the problem is, he feels a soft thump against his scarred hand. He can’t control the soft laugh that comes from him, and he can’t help but cradle your bump just a little tighter.
He looks back up to you, a mischievous glint in your eye.
“I thought something was wrong.”
You smile, “I know - that’s what makes it fun.”
-
Almost eight months had passed since Cassian’s death, and you were finally able to hear his name without breaking down. Azriel was the only one you would talk to about him, though.
It felt right to talk about Cassian to Azriel. It felt right to plunge yourself back into the memories of him - his boisterous laugh, his insistence on touching someone at all times, his presence in rooms.
It felt right, and the babe in your belly would kick frequently whenever Azriel spoke to you about Cassian, as if they knew who you were talking about.
It felt so right, and yet so wrong. Every night before bed you replayed the memories of the day, desperately trying to insert Cassian into Azriel’s spot in them.
He never fit perfectly into them, the edges of him not quite the right size.
-
This was too much.
You were an absolute fool to believe you could do this. To not only birth but to raise your dead husband’s babe. Who let you do this? Who thought this was a good idea?
“Hey.”
Azriel’s voice vibrates through you, pulling you from your thoughts, his large frame behind you. Your back pressed to his chest, his arms helping hold your legs up.
You lean your head against him.
“This was a terrible, terrible idea.”
He smiles, “Cassian never was known for good ideas.”
Your face contorts in agony, a strong cramping pain rippling through you.
Azriel takes the wet cloth from the nurse to his left, holding it on your forehead. “I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so well.”
You scoff, “if I was doing well, the babe would be out by now!”
Azriel takes your jabs, your sarcasm, the intense squeezing of his hand in yours. He’ll take everything you throw at him.
After about eight hours, you were blessed by the cauldron with a beautiful boy, tiny wings clinging to his back as he cried.
-
Azriel’s presence didn’t stop after the babe, Camden, was born. If anything, he spent more time with you. He delegated much of his work as spymaster to support you, even going so far as helping coordinate schedules for Feyre or Nesta to help you bathe.
In the first few weeks, you were able to move around, but you were utterly exhausted. Not just the physical demands of your babe and recovering from birthing a winged babe, but also the emotional toll this took on you left you unable to care much for yourself.
You had thought being bathed would make you feel like a burden, but Feyre and Nesta did everything to make you feel so loved instead. They lit candles, rubbed your back, and told you how proud of you they were constantly. Their words never failed to make you cry, the task at hand feeling impossible if you thought about it too hard.
Eventually, after weeks of sleepless nights, feeling like nothing more than a cow for milk, you and Azriel were able to settle into a routine.
He took care of the babe at night, allowing you decent sleep. He brought Camden to you for his middle of the night feedings. You took care of Camden during the morning through early afternoon while Azriel attended to his duties. The two of you cooked dinner together, Azriel always insisting on washing dishes afterwards.
After a while, it all felt so normal. As if Cassian was never meant to be here for this part.
-
A few months after your son’s first birthday all Hell broke loose. It was a regular day. The sun still shone as it always does, your son was as beautiful as ever. Azriel was holding Camden in the air, helping him stretch out his wings, when he spoke for the first time.
A soft dada accompanied the little boy’s giggles, followed by Azriel stiffening immediately. You looked to the shadowsinger, and when his eyes met yours, you knew.
As if a golden thread appeared out of thin air, tying a knot from Azriel to you, you could feel him. You pulled an experimental tug in the bond, and he pulled back.
Wide eyes meet each other from across the room, silent except for Camden’s continued giggles. You stare at him bewildered, your expression mirrored back to you on his face.
A high pitched noise starts ringing in your eyes before everything goes black.
-
“It’s a bit of a cruel joke,” you say. “I want to love him, I want to be with my mate. But what kind of person does that to her deceased husband?”
You had woken up in Rhys’s office twenty minutes ago to your head in Feyre’s lap, her hands gently running through your hair.
You had heard bits of hushed conversation, and you thought you had heard Az, but when you came to, he was nowhere to be seen.
Rhys looks contemplative before saying, “you of all people should know that Cassian would have wanted you to be happy.”
You put your head in your hands, gathering to courage to say your worst thoughts out loud.
“It feels like Cassian died for me. I know he didn’t, but I can’t help but feel like if he had survived, would Azriel still be my mate? He would have let me be with him, yes, but just.”
You sigh, trying to grab the fragmented thoughts in your head and place them together. Rhys lets you, allowing silence to fill the room.
“It would have killed him having to watch me choose Azriel over him. He would have done the respectable thing, he would have stepped back. He would have been happy for us.”
You sigh, “but if it were the other way, if Nesta or Elain were his mate, I’m not sure I could give him up.”
Your words come pouring out quickly before you begin sobbing. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. His hands wrap around your head, and he gently smooths your hair down.
“Feyre and I are immensely happy for you, despite the circumstances. Both of you. I know you might not feel like it, but you made your own family.”
-
You found Azriel a few hours later in what used to be his room in the townhouse. He hardly stayed here, hardly stayed at any of Rhys’s estates anymore, opting instead for the comfort of the home you two now shared.
“Hi,” you say tentatively, stepping through the door.
“Hi,” he echos back, turning to see you.
“Crazy day,” you say, pulling lightly on the bond. He cracks a smile, but there’s a sadness deep in his gaze that you haven’t seen in months.
He moves towards you, slow and deliberate steps, as if you were a bunny found in the woods easily scared off.
“Do you want this?” He asks, eyes focused on your own.
You nod your head. He nods back.
“I dreamt of you. For months, years even. Since about halfway through my pregnancy, you’ve been in my dreams most nights.”
He watches you speak, letting you say whatever it is you need to. You take a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t want to forget Cass, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re replacing him. I can love both of you.”
He steps closer, slowly moving towards you until he’s stopped right in front of you, his wings blocking you in.
“It’s unconventional, I understand. And I understand if you don’t want a widow with a child.” You look up towards him, determination in your eyes. “But I am all in.”
He gently cups your cheek, eyes full of conflict. “It won’t be easy,” he muses.
“Nothing about this has been easy, why start now?”
His face slowly moves closer to yours, his lips gentle against your own. His hands still hold you gently, as he kisses you long and slow.
There would be time for passion later, his kiss now is full of the emotions words can’t convey. Adoration, sacrifice, immense grief.
You thought having Azriel kiss you would make you feel like you were betraying Cassian. Instead you feel an overwhelming sense of rightness as your hands cup his jaw back, pouring every ounce of you into him.
-
You and Azriel look out at your backyard, watching Nyx and Camden run around, play fighting with their swords. The two boys occasionally take short flights, only about a foot or so off the ground.
Azriel wraps his arms around you, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. You close your eyes, letting yourself feel this moment, allowing the sounds of the boys playing and your mate’s breathing to lull you into some form of peace you never thought you’d find again.
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aemondapologistfrfr · 7 days ago
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Just Like This
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jace x f!betrothed!reader
anon request - jfc pls this had me in a chokehold since i read it xx
Summary: You’ve been needy all day and Jace’s patience is wearing thin but he can never deny you anything you want. 
Warnings: 18+ swearing, innocent reader testing jaces patience, humping, masturbation(m), p in v, lil bit of a breeding kink, he fucks you sleep quite literally, angst for literally one second 
Authors Note: the plot is obvs riding the dragon - i literally had to write this asap bc i couldn’t get it out of my head !
Word Count: 2k short but i know his is long 
                                         ᓚᘏᗢ
ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত
It started at breakfast. 
You wouldn’t let him go and he had no idea why you were so needy this morning. He stayed buried inside you as you slept as he does every night now. It’s always ‘I just want to be close to you.’ followed by a small whine and he caves everytime. Gods he could only last one week into your betrothal before he took you. You’re nearing a month into your betrothal and he hopes you both wed before you start to swell with his child. That thought alone is why he stays buried in you all night, every night.
Later in the afternoon Jace had to ignore your small whines as one of his mothers counselors continued on their tangent that has absolutely nothing to do with what they currently need. His mother is far too willing to allow these bumbling old men to waste her time and he tires of it. Between the irrelevant ramblings and your soft whining as you held onto his hand under the table he was on edge. His other hand was fisted on the table and his jaw was clenched so tightly it was a miracle it didn’t lock.
Dinner was no different and he was ready to take you atop the table at your desperation in front of everyone, regardless if only he noticed or not. “Jace,” his name left your mouth only loud enough for him. He glanced at you with dark eyes and shook his head once. A pout formed on your lips and he turned his attention back to the table in front of him. You tugged his hand into your lap and he cleared his throat resting your hands back on the wooden armrest of his chair. 
Once dinner ended he practically sprinted out of the main door to train and clear his mind. Everyday is an internal battle of how he shouldn’t be doing any of the things he’s currently doing with you. But the other voice in his head is telling him that you’re his. That you beg for this every night. You beg for him every night. He shakes his head and sighs in relief as the breeze rustles through his hair and he abandons training when he hears his dragon call. 
Vermax lands in the sands a couple yards from him and he takes quick steps as a smile spreads across his face. The moment he’s secured in the saddle his dragon shoots him into the night sky. When he looks down upon the Dragonstone the small hearths and candles within make it look as if it’s breathing fire. The wind kisses him more fiercely this high in the clouds and he welcomes the reprieve from the constant burning you make him feel. 
He allows Vermax to glide him around the clouds and stars for an hour until the chill of the wind becomes too much. When he lands on the sands again his head feels more level and clear as he begins his journey back into the castle. He's thankful the halls are mostly empty now save for a few guards. His bed chambers are calling his name and he takes the stairs two at a time and he’s pushing open his door in no time.
“I’m sorry.” you hiccup and his eyes widen taking in your puffy ones as he clicks the door shut behind him. “I didn’t mean to-” another round of small sobs take over. “To be so needy.” you sniffle and look up at him trying to blink away your tears. “Please don’t hate me.” your lip wobbles.
“I could never hate you.” he hums, cupping your chin. 
“Where were you? You left me.” your words crack open his chest.
“I’m sorry,” he slowly strokes your cheek. “I was out on dragonback.” his voice soft as he internally scolds himself for making you feel this way. 
“I wanna ride my dragon.” you lean into his hand. “Please,” you whisper, grabbing onto the front of his trousers. “Please, I’ll be good tomorrow. I promise.” you nod.
“Show me you can be a good girl tonight and I’ll take care of you all day tomorrow.” your eyes snap up to his and he watches a smile spread across your face. 
“Anything.” you nod your head quickly.
“Stay here, just like this until I tell you to come to me.” he tightens his grip on your chin before he releases you and takes a couple steps back. You watch with a pout as he begins to pull off his jerkin with a soft smirk on his face before kicking off his boots. His tunic is next to be pulled off and you scoot forward an inch as he grabs the laces of his trousers. “What did I say?” he raises his eyebrow.
“I’m sorry.” he groans at the desperation in your voice.
He pulls the laces even slower, wondering if he’s teasing you or himself at this point. Soon he’s tugging his trousers down groaning at how heavy his cock feels. You let out a small whine that grabs his attention when he wraps his fingers around his cock. His breathing deepens as he watches you rub your thighs together as he begins to thumb at his tip. 
“Please.” you whine. 
“That’s how I felt all day.” his low words wash over you. “Your constant whining and pleas.” he groans as he starts to stroke himself. “Has me ready to take you in front of everyone.” he watches your cheeks flush. 
Jace abandons his cock for the time being and walks over to his bed. He pushes the pillows around and props himself up against the headboard. He can still see you looking at him with pleading eyes as he grabs his cock once more. His strokes this time are lazy as he lets his hips jerk up into his hand. 
“Jace.” you whimper and he lets out a low chuckle. 
“What would you like?” he hums watching your pout deepen. He hears your soft words but knows he can make you more desperate. “What was that, sweet girl?” he bites his lip at your whine of impatience. 
“I wanna ride my dragon.” he can hear desire in every word you speak. 
“Come over to the bed.” he watches you jump up off the ground and scurry over to his side, readying to crawl into bed. “No, no. Not yet.” you whimper at his words.
“Why?” you push your bottom lip out. 
“Take this off.” he tugs on the hem of your slip and you have it on the ground in seconds. He lets his hand roam all over your body watching as your skin pebbles in the wake of his touch. “Then come on.” he nods his head, letting go of his cock and grabbing your waist. 
“Thank you.” you crawl into his lap. “Jace,” you’re already humping against him the second your aching cunny meets his cock. “Mm,” he leans up and presses his lips to your neck. “Thank you.” you start to slide against him quicker.
You continue to rock against him as he nibbles at your neck. You lift up and he helps line himself up as you sink down on him. His fingers dig into your sides as you start to roll your hips. He sucks harshly at your throat as you start to bounce up and down. His teeth softly bite into your shoulder as you clench around him. 
“You’re doing so good.” he groans, sitting back and watching you move. “So good at riding your dragon, sweet girl.” his low words are going straight to your core. 
“Thank you.” you whine, grabbing your breasts as you bounce faster. “Mm, feels so good,” you pant, tossing your head back. “Jace,” you cry out, feeling your pleasure rising. 
“Just like that.” his hands rest on your waist. “Fuck,” he groans as you start to grind against him. 
“I’m-“ you squeak and fall forward on his chest as you pulse around him. He wraps his arms around your back and lifts you up before he starts to hammer up into you. “Jacaerys,” you whimper. 
“I guess there’s a storm.” he grunts, filling his chambers with the sound of your skin slapping against his. “Hold on tight like a good girl.” you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and whimper into his ear as he pushes up into you. 
He moves one of his hands down to your ass and squeezes harshly before landing his palm against it. Your small cries only serve to spur him on and make him fuck you faster. His fingers are digging into you and you feel your high quickly approaching again. He can feel your walls starting to flutter around him. The hand in your ass snakes up and tangles in your hair to pull your head back. He watches your face scrunch as your cunny hugs him tighter as your whimpers get louder.
“Gods you’re fucking perfect.” he pounds himself up into you. “My good girl.” he watches your body go taut. “My perfect girl.” a small scream comes from your throat before you shake above him. 
He feels your pleasure seeping out of you, hearing it with every snap of his hips. He presses your mouth back down and takes your lips with his. The kiss is sloppy and clashing as you pant while he’s still thrusting up into you. Your pleasure feels never ending and overwhelming as he keeps his pace. You're trembling in his arms and you cry into his mouth as it bursts through you once more. 
“Gonna fill you up. Don’t worry.” he pants and slams up into you one last time before his warmth spills into you. 
“Thank you.” you mumble softly moving your hips. “Did I do good?” you mumble as he scoots the both of you down into the bed. 
“You did so very good.” he hums, smoothing your hair. 
“And you’ll stay inside?” you rest your cheek against his chest as he rubs your back. 
“Of course.” he softly jerks his hips up. “How else would I make sure you’re carrying our child?” he smiles at your small whimper. 
“Can we do this even when we know I am?” you whisper. “I can’t imagine not sleeping this close to you. You’re so warm.” you press your lips to his chest. “You make me feel so safe.” he wraps his arms around you as you cuddle into him. “I like being so full of you.” he prays his cock doesn’t react to your soft words. “Can you maybe just..” you whine and move your hips. 
“Just what?” he can’t hide how wrecked his voice is. 
“Just move until I fall asleep?” his cock is hardening at your sleep thick words. “You can keep going until you're done.” a small cry leaves your lips as he starts to rock into you. 
“Go to bed, sweet girl.” the soft whimpers that leave your mouth are making it hard for him to keep his movements slow but he’ll do it for you, always for you, his sweet girl. “You did so good tonight.” he whispers. “I’m gonna take such good care of you tomorrow.” you nod your head, letting out little whines with every roll of his hips. 
You fall into a half pleasure half sleep state as he continues to rock into you. You feel as if you’re melting into him and his whispers of praises and sweet words are lulling your mind into a more relaxed state. Small sounds are falling from your lips but you feel as if you’re already asleep. Your body floods with pleasure which is followed by a familiar warmth before your mind finally rests for the night.
ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত
masterlist  ⏾  wips  ⏾  taglist
ummmmmm i don’t think i’ll forget abt this request for a while so anon if u have any more filthy thoughts share them 🙂
@ka1afbr @ninihrtss @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @alexxavicry @misspendragonsworld @papichulo120627 @ashovertheriver @gabriella-aesthetic @moonymoo1 @faenyra @uwuuness @lizzylovebooks280501 @nostalgiagoth03 @multilover19 @summer-and-sunflowers @eternalwinters @rere10 @sxlsvv @sarahrosw36q @tricksterreaper @somethingsaladsomething @naty-sunshine @supernaturalwitch89 @the-wife-of-fictional-men
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chaaistained · 27 days ago
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hazy fairy lights and the thought of schedules
me waking up in my kpop dr for a total of five seconds ..
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i didn’t exactly go into this with the desire to wake up in a bedroom i’d only ever seen from one angle, in a picture, off of pinterest . i even started out this whole “process” feeling so desperate that i’m embarrassed to go into further detail but, we persevere —
the night before, i was plagued with insomniac anxieties, the fidgety kind, where your mind won’t sit still and your body thinks “hey! that’s a grand idea, let me do the same!” as if i’m not laying there in my bed, tempted to pull my hair out
i figured, what’s there to lose? like every other night, let’s give this another go, and i went to look at my screenshot of emma’s method (@hrrtshape — tysm lovely <3) and started trying to shift to my wr
the desired outcome of a mind bending epiphany, an almost destruction of the very construct of reality . that didn’t happen .. and truth be told, i found it hard to concentrate in general. but eventually i just kept telling myself that “this isn’t a chore, this a hobby, this is something i do for fun. i’ve done this [shifting] before, even if it was only for a few seconds, i can do it again” and i let my mind think about my daily routine and plans for my wr
after that, i don’t really remember falling asleep. i sorta wafted from dream to dream, mostly about my cr life — university, my high school best friend and our galentines plans, i had a weird panicky one about a chemistry test .. i haven’t taken chemistry since i graduated high school four years ago . but anyway apparently the body keeps the score.. yay us
i think what set me off into a more calming deep slumber was how my dream rippled from chemistry and science to literature, english, writing, and more specifically, editing — before i went to bed i was editing an upcoming fic i will be posting to my fic account (shameless plug : @yourislandgirl) and it was a drabble featuring enhypen’s jake, a kpop idol for those who don’t know ^.^
next thing i know, i hear a twinkling alarm, the kind of one that sounds like stars? not exactly the same as the standard iphone alarm sounds but, i remember it feeling familiar ??
i instinctively went to rub my eyes, expecting the usual crust and sleepiness only to find that they were relatively clear-ish (a point i make bcs i specifically scripted that i don’t get super crusty eyes bcs i hate it). it didn’t exactly hit me then, but i patted around my bed for my phone, snoozing the alarm, my eyes still closed as i took in a few deep breaths.
my room smelled like lavender . which is odd bcs i don’t have a room freshening spray in my cr, i rely on candles but wtv not the point, i don’t own a lavender mist .. but for some reason the only thought running through my head when i sighed out in relief, curling myself back under the sheets was “man . my rooms smells nice”
for your information i’m rolling my eyes at myself while i type this up bcs BITCH (directed at me) YOU SHIFTED
anyway, i kinda felt myself dipping in and out of consciousness, or at least that’s what i thought, bcs in actuality i think i was dipping BETWEEN consciousness’ — the cotton softness of my cr sheets was suddenly a smooth milky satin, and then it was cotton, and then satin, and it wasn’t until this hellscape of a cycle repeated itself for the third time, that i finally realised my surroundings were changing.
it was sort of like what being tipsy felt like, a little buzz in my head, my mind feeling fuzzy, like a pom pom . (that’s legitimately how my mind feels when i’m tipsy btw) and it was like my energy was rising slowly and then getting sapped out of me and then rising and falling
i think i was getting sick of it, and knowing me and my lack of patience, that totally tracks, so when i felt a bit more energy bloom inside, i took the chance to open my eyes. my only thoughts were “god i need to get up, i can’t keep laying here dreaming..”
and that’s when i saw it, the room of my kpop dr self, from an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE — i saw a vanity, 80% of it filled with lip products which, again, totally tracks . there was a door open and a stepping stone path of clothes leading out of it, my wardrobe . guitar stands, one for an acoustic, one for an electric . a desk with a monitor and a laptop . i EVEN HAD ROOM FOR A BEANBAG COUCH IM SO JEALOUS
AND AND YA KNOW WHAT SUCKS . IT WAS SO NORMAL?? I KEPT BLINKING TRYING TO WAKE MYSELF UP
my mind was like “ . . . huh”
and THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS MIND FUCK — all i could stare at were the strings of fairy lights going along the edge of my ceiling, little stars and diamonds, they gave off a warm golden glow and as i laid there with silk soft hair and skin so smooth i can’t believe i didn’t notice when i touched my face . my brain had the AUDACITY to go “oh fuck . i’ve got to record something today. …(sigh) and rehearse”
LIKE- THATS NOT SMTH TO COMPLAIN ABOUT GIRLYPOP??!!)?)!?,?!
i swear- i swear to you guys . i’m appalled at myself
because i just HAD to think abt something important something tiring, something like my DAILY SCHEDULES BCS THEN
I CLOSED MY EYES AGAIN AND FELT LIKE EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH WAS BEING PULLED OUT OF ME
and then i woke up here. again.
my hair was drier, and so was my skin, my eyes were crusty and sleepy, my pillows were comfy but nothing could compare to the marshmallow cloud of comfort that were my kpop dr pillows.
i sat up, stretched, cracked all my joints, went straight for my phone and started to doomscroll . like it was some coping mechanism or something. my mind kept going : “that was a dream. that was just a dream. man what a VIVID dream. yeah, that’s it chaai, you had a vivid dream, you’ve always had vivid dreams, that’s your thing! (true story) that’s all this was…”
but, and i swear you can’t make this shit up, it all felt NORMAL , creepily normal. usually in a dream you’re like “ah yes, i’m dreaming, i can’t exactly wake up right now bcs i’m enjoying this dream, but i know i’m dreaming”
no, no, this quote unquote dream, felt like those sleepy mornings when the world feels slow, when the simplicity of the small rays of morning sunlight coming through your window feel cinematic, when you want to close your eyes and keep taking in gentle deep breaths, hold off on getting up, just for five more minutes.
that’s what it felt like.
i didn’t know i was dreaming bcs i wasn’t dreaming. i was just waking up to a dream, as my reality.
and honestly, another factor is how my mind immediately went to the events of my day, a CLASSIC trope in yours truly. honestly nothing is more on brand than me being like “(sigh) life feels so soft and sweet right now .. alright now let’s cause myself a mini panic attack by thinking about my responsibilities for the day and how many there are and how little time i have to complete everything, isn’t that fun???!?”
finally, my energy levels, that thing i mentioned earlier? about how i’d feel the strength grow and decline over and over again? those five seconds i had in my kpop dr were tiring and drowsy, but not lethargic, they weren’t draining, they weren’t exhausting. i had some energy in me .. and when i closed my eyes, it felt like i was being drained, and i woke up here and felt like i had the life torn out of me and then forced back in. as embarrassing as this sounds, i actually think it “proves” this shift a bit more — logically speaking, i’m more fit, more toned, more active in my kpop dr, where my career is hugely based on my skill levels, as a dancer and singer and performer, where an asset in my job is my appearance, and how i keep myself in shape .. i don’t have to worry about those things here, i don’t have the strength or flexibility or just straight up energy that i do in that reality.. i guess it didn’t hit me, how much difference there would be in my physicality, until this shift
so , yeah. that about sums it up
i think i would have benefitted from grounding myself. and i’m 99% sure i’ll face this problem again bcs i can’t even ground myself in this reality let alone another, mostly bcs i don’t want to, (life’s just so much lighter when your head’s in the clouds .. this is very unhealthy, i do not recommend)
but, for the five seconds that it lasted, it was honestly worth it. my room looked splendid, it was spacious, it was not messy (no matter what dr-self tells you), it was instead, aesthetically chaotic in a pleasing way . and i stand by that
but those fairy lights… mf they’ll be haunting my dreams, ghostly and golden and glorious, i can see them so clearly if i close my eyes.
anyway, here’s to more shifts to come !! i’m not giving up just yet, i WILL get back there, or any other dr for that matter, and i wish you all a happy shifting experience <33
bcs trust me, it took me five years to get five seconds, but in those five seconds i felt a whole 16 years of life in me, i felt a definitive existence there, like i had places to be, people to see, things to do. and i hadn’t even sat up in bed yet ..
this shit is real. it’s as real as you reading this right now. and i’m gonna keep trying, even if all i get next time is another five seconds. and i hope you try with me ≈
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chaai brews; tea assortments — dr archive
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2025 © chaaistained
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khuzena · 10 months ago
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This bitter life.
pairing: Blade x g/n!reader
Part 1, Part 2.
Summary: Life is not fair, that is the truth every being must accept. Yet, there’s a part in Blade’s mara-struck mind, that he cannot accept this type of ending, he will not allow it, but he has no right to deny fate itself.
In other words, you die and he’s miserable.
Cw. It’s very fluffy trust me, Reader is absolutely fucked, you die, unrequited requited love, not proofread, very slowburn, character development, terminally ill, ansgt only bcoz fluff is for the weak, life is unfair.
A/n: You already know what it means when I upload a fanfic. If you don’t, my only warning is, shit’s going down.
(wrote this bc bladie won the poll for my other fic of which character u guys want a fic for next 🥳)
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Days pass by, Blade didn’t come back to the Stellaron Hunters HQ to watch over you. Silverwolf keeps messaging him, telling him he needs to come back for another mission but he’s stubborn.
Silverwolf: Come back here, we’re having a meeting
Silverwolf: oh come on I know you’re seeing this
Silverwolf: Istfg
[seen by Bladie]
His phone shuts off and he just stares outside your window, he knows you’re not getting better anytime soon. He sometimes feels a twisted, aching feeling in his chest when you give him that feeble smile to pretend you're okay, when you both know no amount of medicine will save you, you could no longer hold a glass for more than a minute because your muscles fail you.
He feels sick.
This misery of his never going away.
“I have to go.”
He expected that you’d call out for him, “Okay, take care.”
So he leaves, he wishes he never looked back.
He was gone for 3 weeks, on another mission to exterminate more and more foes of the Stellaron hunters and gather more Stellaron with Kafka.
“Something on your mind?” The blood on his hands could never be washed away, he wants to go back to that stupid Clove-V planet and talk to you.
“None of your business.” Kafka is surprised, it's the first time he sees Blade so irritated (he mostly is but not to this extent)
Kafka doesn’t ask again and they finish their mission.
In 4 days, he rushed to see you. You stopped replying to his messages, only a tiny ‘seen’ message pops up every now and then and he hates to admit it, he’s dying to see you again.
“Doctor.” Your door creaks open, another visitor it seems.
”Is it you Blade?”
He nods, but with a tightness to it, he sits beside you again, mold was already building up on your sink, your lack of mobility making you lose the ability to do normal tasks.
”Are you okay?”
”I wish.” How could someone act so carefree on the brink of death? He doesn’t understand you, no, not at all.
He wants to reach out for you, to comfort you but he doesn’t know how to comfort you. He doesn’t understand why he wants to comfort you, he understands why he cares so much, he doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this way, he doesn’t even understand himself.
But when you smile at his hesitance, he realises, maybe you do.
He doesn’t reach out for you, he’s always an arm's length away from you, never close yet never too far. “You haven’t eaten, you’re going to die.”
Even if you eat, you will never get better; but he wants you to.
“Maybe, but I’m fine with that.”
”With dying? You’re a fool.” He doesn’t want to accept that you’re going to die, that you’re okay with dying because he’s not.
You’re a fool, a bastard, for trying to understand him but he can never understand himself nor can he ever truly understand you.
“You better not die,” his eyes desperately tried to never meet with yours.
He doesn’t want to look into your eyes, he doesn't want to accept the truth. That your eyes no longer beam with excitement at his words, that the sparkle in your eyes had dimmed.
“I know I will,” he no longer hides his worry, his fear, his desperation to keep you alive.
So he asks again, “What do I do?”
Like every other time he asks what ‘can’ he do for you, you repeat your words, “Just keep me company.”
He nods, sitting beside you. The tension in the air is obvious, neither utter a single word in this deafening (yet comforting) silence.
Blade cannot accept that you’re giving up, you’re not allowed to give up, he won’t accept it.
He drapes a blanket over you, “Feeling better?”
“A little.” Your throat burns, but you want to talk to him, even when you’re dying, you want to understand him.
”It hurts.” He doesn’t know what to do.
He wants to understand your pain, he wonders, if your pain is as worse as his, that it hurts so much you’d rather pass. That maybe, you’re the same and you wish to die too.
Neither of you will truly understand the other, but you try.
“I got sick when I was a child, 7– no, 8… I don’t remember,” he pretends he doesn't hear the rasp in your voice, “Just… Medicine made the progression slower.”
You could almost cry, “I wanted to study medicine, I wanted to heal others of their pain.”
”I don’t want to die.”
He doesn’t want to hear your desperate cry, he doesn’t hear it.
“Blade, it hurts,” he’s never wanted to shut off his ears when you spoke what he never wanted to hear, “Can I give up?”
He doesn’t want you to, but has no right to deny you peace.
”Is it okay if I give up?”
No, he won’t let you give up. You were there when he was sick, you did not look at him with hatred in your eyes, you treated him like any other person, something that has never happened in years. In your eyes, Blade was just a man.
So he doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t want you to give up, of course; but what can he do?
“It’s okay, right?”
”If that’s what you need.” He holds your hand out of instinct, “Then give up.”
He wants to yell at you that you’re an idiot, that giving up is for the weak but it’d be hypocritical of him to do so, I mean, he’s given up on life a long time ago, what’s he going to do? Tell you inspirational shit to keep your will to live alive?
“Thank you.”
No tears escape him, not a single choked sob leaves his throat but when your eyes lock for one last time, you understood him and he understood you too.
You two were just the same.
He squeezes your hand and rests his head on your stomach, when you don’t flinch, he realises you’re gone now too.
He can no longer understand you by your words, you can no longer speak to him, he can’t understand your past or who you truly are.
But how could you, how did you do it?
A single medical book rests on his hand, he may not understand what you truly are, but he’ll read countless books for you. He’ll play your favourite stupid games for you.
Maybe then, he’ll understand the only person that truly knew him, who gave him company in this miserable life of his.
What a pathetic, miserable, bitter life.
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Note: DEF OOC BUT WHO TF CARES (I DO AND IM EMBARRASSED) but its okay right?? Like i wrote this in just 2 days (5 hours everyday) Whatever whatever i think its okay i feel sick I haven't ate lunch yet bye wuahhshdsj
Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡ 
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havensins · 2 years ago
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a little sub!steve drabble bc i’m currently in pain <3
cw — sub!bp!steve, dom!amab!reader, cow girl position, feminization (?), you call steve princess like twice, love bombs bc i love steve in a totally normal way, cockwarming at the end! etc.
note — not proofread as usual </333
having a lap full of a desperate and mostly naked steve rogers had to be a wet dream come true. he was so adorably needy, grasping onto you as if you were his lifeline as he kissed you breathless. he kisses you messily, a clash of teeth and swapped saliva, while he grinds subtly in your lap.
“what’s the matter baby? ‘m not goin’ anywhere.” you mumble against his lips, he smiles back against yours bashfully. he doesn’t stop grinding down in your lap, “i just want you so bad,” he whines, grinding down on the visible bulge in your underwear.
you can feel how wet he his, kissing softly down his jaw as you reach a hand down to tease his clit through his underwear. he whimpers softly, holding your wrist loosely and rolling his hips towards you. “maybe i should be nice… you seem so riled up already,” you hum, holding him as you lift your hips to slide down your underwear. he does the same with his, flinging both of the garments elsewhere.
“please? i’ve been good haven’t i? i think i deserve a small reward,” he murmurs, lifting his hips up as his knees dig into the mattress. he’s teasing you; the puffy and slicked lips of his pussy moving feather light along your tip. “teasing won’t get you the reward you’re looking for princess,” you tell him, taking a hold of his waist.
he stills, staring at you as he sinks down slowly. the warmth of his cunt engulfs you nearly whole, he has his hands on your stomach as he slides down to the hilt. “‘s so much,” he whimpers, gasping out as he adjusts to the pleasurable burn of the stretch.
your hands find his ass, squeezing at the flesh as he whines. gingerly, he lifts himself up before easing himself back down. he sets a steady pace for himself, clenching around you as he bounces on your cock.
he looks about as ruined as you feel, moaning out expletives yourself at the feeling of his gummy walls surrounding you. his hands find your shoulders while your thumb finds his clit. he’s quivering as his pace slows a little. he’s close, and you can feel it in the way his thighs tremble.
the both of you are panting, whispering praises back and forth and allowing the sounds of your passion to spur you on. “so big,” he rasps, “love it, love you,” he murmurs, mind hazy from being stuffed so full. “love you the most, princess,” you grunted, allowing your hands to dig into his hips.
“c’mon stevie, i know you wanna cum,” you hum, grinding your hips up into his. “so close-!” he wails, bouncing on your cock a couple more times before he finally seats himself in your lap and falls pliant in your hold. he quivers with the force of his orgasm, and his sets off yours. you cum into him, cock throbbing as you hold him tight and fill him up completely.
he’s breathing heavily against you, and you are too, holding him flush to you. “we gotta clean up,” you murmur tiredly, shifting underneath him. “no,” he whine, “w’nna stay, ‘m all full,” he hums weakly clenching around you. you smile against his cheek, “only for a little then, love.”
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thatgirlstrawberry · 2 years ago
Text
NSFW Alphabet
Smut warning
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
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A-Aftercare (what he’s like after sex)
After being rough, he would clean you up
Make sure that you’re not hurt and if you are, he would message you anywhere you needed it
He would put you in the bath or shower and wash your body and hair
After he would apologize profusely if he thought he was being too rough on you
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to-“
“Spencer, shut the fuck up. Your dick is magical.”
B-Body part (his favorite body part of yours)
Definitely your thighs and your hands
He likes gripping your thighs when his head is between them
He just lies grabbing them in general
Like there isn’t a time when he’s not touching your thighs sexually or not
Your hands bc he loves when you wrap them around his dick
Or when he has you in missionary and your hands are squeezing his biceps
C- cum (anything to do with cum)
He loves it when you tel him to cum inside you
He’s more than happy too really
When he doesn’t finish inside, he pulls out and comes on your stomach or back— whichever way he has you
D- dirty secret (😈)
He secretly likes it when you take control in bed
He also secretly likes it when you can barely form words when he’s inside you
When you try not to moan but end up failing miserably
When your nails tear skin as they claw at his back while he fucks you
E- experience (How experienced is he?)
Honestly, he wasn’t very experienced before he met you
He had only had sex with four or five people before you
He was a natural though
He knew how to pleasure you by asking you
Spencer is an obedient man— when you tell him you need something, he’ll do it
F- favorite position (what’s his favorite position to have you in?)
He absolutely loves missionary— seeing your face change with every thrust
But he also likes it when you ride him so he can look down and see his dick disappearing inside of you
He also likes when you’re face down, ass up gripping the sheets and arching your back
G- goofy (is he serious or funny during sex?)
When the moment is right, he will definitely laugh with you during sex
Like if one of you laughs, the other one will too
The giggly sex is most likely gonna be in the morning— don’t know why it just seems like that
He’ll be wayyyyy more serious at night
Like after an argument or on an anniversary
Or to celebrate something one of you achieved
H-hair (how well groomed is he?)
He’s not completely shaved down there but he’s not like wild
I’m gonna stop there bc this one is just awkward to me lmao
I- intimacy (how intama
He’s literally the most romantic man during sex
I just can’t like stop thinking about how he would hold you hand against the bed as he went a little slower than usually if you had a bad day or something
When he’s feeling a little down that day, he’d pull you close, chest to chest
His face either hidden in your neck or his eyes closed focusing on your proximity and the way you feel
J- Jack off (when does he get himself off?)
Any time he’s away on a long case
I fully believe that at some point, y’all were having sex and this man just like whipped out a Polaroid camera, took pictures and stuffed them in a secret pocket in his go bag
He’d call you when he knew you were awake and asked if you could face time and show him your 🍒
He’s more subby when he’s masturbating because he’s desperate
K- kinks (what kinks does he have?)
Dirty talk
Praise link
Overstimulating (you)
Dacryphilia (idk if this is a kink but he loves to have you in tears)
You calling him doctor— Ik it’s weird but he’s literally a nerd 😭
Semi-public (I’m talking like bending you over a desk in an empty private office at the BAU)
L- location (where?)
Like I said previously— in an empty private office
Mostly in bed tho
Or bent over the kitchen counter
Or the bathroom sink, making you watch yourself in the mirror
M- motivation (what turns him on?)
You
Literally just you
You could be watching tv and he would be turned on watching your tongue poke out the corner of your lips
He gets turned on when you’re washing dishes
When you’re eating
Literally doing anything
N- no (something he wouldn’t do)
Hit you— he would never inflict pain on you, that’s stepping over a line
Letting someone watch y’all do it/3somes— you’re enough for him
Toys— he wants your orgasms to be from him and him only (and yourself if he’s ever away on a case and you need release)
Spitting on or in you— he thinks that’s weird and a great way to spread germs (and so do I)
O- oral (what’s his preference on oral sex?)
He absolutely loves giving you head
He’s a god at it
He can literally make you come with his tongue in lest than 3 minutes
He loves the way you taste— he thinks you taste better than coffee and sprinkled donuts
Spencer also loves when you give him head
Loves the feeling of your lips and tongue wrapped around him
Thinks that it’s the second best feeling in the world (your pussy being the first)
He loves the way your mascara runs as you take him almost touching the back of your throat
P- pace (is he fast and rough or is he slow and soft?)
A little bit of both
He likes going rough when he needs it- like when he’s mad or frustrated with someone or something (obvi if you ask him to go fast and rough he will— mans will do anything for you)
He’ll go slow if he’s stressed or sad
And if you want it slow he’ll give it to you slow
Basically it depends on the situation
Q- quickies (his opinion on quickies)
He doesn’t really prefer quickies but if he has to leave for a case for a few days he’ll get one in before he has to leave
He likes to take his time therefore, quickies almost never happen
R- risk (is he willing to take risks?)
As long as you want it and it’s not one of the No’s, he loves to experiment
The riskiest thing you’ve ever done is handcuff him to the file drawer in the BAU and suck his dick, almost getting caught by Derek
Laughing when you guys experiment bc he’s all like “this is what I’m supposed to do, right? Are you sure?”
S- stamina (how long can they last? How many rounds can they go?)
Spencer has built up stamina from the start of your relationship to now
He used to only be able to last about 4-5 minutes inside you
Now he can go up to 10 minutes if you go straight to the penetrative sex
If you fore play, he lasts about 7 minutes
He can usually go three rounds before he has to stop
You’re usually a wreck after he’s done
T - toy (does he use toys?)
No
U- unfair (is he a tease? How does he react when you tease him?)
Spencer was too shy to be a tease in the beginning of your relationship
So you were the first one to do the teasing
You walked out of his bathroom the morning after your first time having sex in a towel and dropped it right in front of him
You pretended to not know that his eyes snapped to your dripping wet body and hair and walked towards his closet picking out a pair of his boxers and his shirt
“If you out those clothes on your body before you let me fuck you, I will lose my mind.”
His first time he teased you he called you good girl when you threw a crumpled piece of paper into the trash can from your spot at the kitchen table
“What the fuck did you just call me?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I get on my knees will you call me that again?”
V- volume (how loud is he when doing the deed?)
This man is LOUD
Not like the whiny loud tho
He’s the deep, sexy kind of loud
He’ll breathe all heavy in your ear
He’ll groan loudly and throw his head back when you on your knees for him
Sometimes Spencer will even bite his lip to try not to be loud but It never works
He’ll praise you and then moan low and deep right after
W- wild card (random)
When he plans to have sex, he’ll crate a playlist
“Good girl.”
“Keep those pretty eyes open, for me.”
Loves hearing your moans—
Loves it when you say please/ when you beg him for something
Will turn into a sugar daddy bc he can’t say no to you lmao
He’ll buy you anything you want or even glance at while you guys are walking around a store or a mall
Thinks buying you lingerie is awkward so he just asks you to get a certain set and gives you his credit card
The king of worrying
“Are you okay?” “Does that hurt?” “Did you come? We can go again i swear-“
X-ray (what’s going on under those pants!?)
8 inches
Literally didn’t expect it but after you got used to it you were like
“Oh yeah this is right.”
Y- yearning (how high is his sex drive)
This man can’t go a couple hours without being horny
He’s always wanting you
He always imagines you moaning his name
Long story short, he’s always horny and your sexy ass is to blame
Z- zzzzz (How quickly he falls asleep)
He waits until your comfortable and asleep before he even thinks about going to bed
He scoots closer to you and wraps his arms around your chest and falls asleep a while after
————————————————-
OMG WHAT IS THIS—
Oky sorry i love you babes! Hope you enjoyed this and I don’t totally suck at writing HCs. There’s a SFW one coming soon tho!!! Stay tuned for that and chapter 12 of Sick Surprise :)
Love youuuuuu!
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subskz · 1 year ago
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thoughts on bratty channie? it’s waaaayyyy out of character for him, so i wanna hear your take on it. i just want to degrade him and call him my little slut instead of the usual praise…just curious on how he’d take that…hehe
ohh a very good question…i agree it’s always been difficult for me to envision channie as a brat bc he’s just so prime obedient puppy angel who wants nothing more than to please you! your praise is all he needs to do whatever you ask of him without question, so he’d rarely feel the need to act out when being your good boy comes so naturally to him and is so rewarding for him! i also think he’d prefer to be a soft sub a lot of the time, so seeking punishment isn’t always smth he’d try to do bc he’d rather be taken care of
that being said he does definitely have his moments! he’s very playful and likes to joke around which sometimes results in him saying the most insane, out of pocket things just to get a reaction out of you. but what’s so endearing abt it is that he always backs down immediately after, breaking into cute giggles n waving his hand around saying “i’m joking i’m joking~~!” it’s hard to take him seriously when he’s so giddy and delighted w himself for teasing you, and he mostly just messes with you when he’s feeling clingy, like an overexcited puppy who’ll do anything to get you to focus on him. he also admittedly really likes your attention and gets a lil sulky when he feels like you’re ignoring him on purpose, so that might be one of the few times you see his “bratty” side. he’ll get way too close for comfort esp when you’re preoccupied w smth else, push his face super close to yours and tilt his head playfully from side to side when u try to nudge him away, taunt you w the biggest dimply grin on his face, act oblivious to how he’s riling you up, trap you in tight hugs and refuse to let go, and (this is a big one) mimic your words in the cutest whiny voice
sometimes it’s hard to tell whether he’s really just joking around or trying to get a rise out of you, bc most of what he does is kinda harmless, even at his brattiest 😭 he’s pretty persistent though so it’s only a matter of time until you run out of patience, and when you do he crumbles instantly. it takes just one pointed look to have him switching up and apologizing through nervous giggles. the moment you get your hands on him he just melts, and you know right away that this is exactly what he was hoping for. his eyes go wide as moons and glaze over like he’s ready to do anything to make it up to you, bc it’s not really the fight that he enjoys, it’s your attention and the rough treatment he gets out of it
he instantly reverts back to his good boy demeanor and accepts your punishment all too eagerly. it sends shivers down his spine when you touch him without any of your usual care, bc if he wants to act like a brat then he gets treated like one. he lets you bend him to your will and toss him around like he’s weightless, letting out the sweetest little whines when you start talking down to him. call him a dumb little slut for playing all these games w you instead of just asking for what he wants like a good boy, mock him for how hard it makes him to act like a desperate whore, and he’d let out the filthiest most pathetic moan like he’s trying to prove your point <3 he’d be begging, whining, and apologizing the entire time but he loves every bit of how how grab his face and force him to look up at you, scornfully asking why he’s suddenly not laughing anymore. the humiliation makes his whole body burn in the best way, and he does admittedly start to feel guilty for causing you so much trouble, you can see it all over his face and it’s very endearing 💔
still, he takes whatever you give him without complaint and will even start to whimper out in agreement as you degrade him, babbling abt how he’s just a needy puppy too dumb to use his words and a stupid little slut who needs your attention so bad, he’ll do anything to get it. it almost makes you feel sorry for him hearing how his voice breaks and seeing how his eyes well up w tears, but you can see the way he’s practically throbbing w arousal from your words alone, and you know how much he’s getting off on it. he nods mindlessly to everything you say and sniffles out for you to be mean to him and teach him a lesson. i think the worst punishment for him would be getting tied up w a vibrator inside him/pressed to his cock and a gag in his mouth 🥰 not only does it drive him crazy to be completely helpless like that, unable to touch you or hide his face or cover his body when he’s embarrassed, but it’s also the exact opposite of what he wanted ): poor baby would cry and mewl so pitifully around the gag, drooling and leaking all over himself as he tries to slur out for you to please pay attention to him, he promises to be good for you!! but you just deny him over and over and watch his cute face scrunch up in frustration and pleasure when you tell him this is all a bad boy like him gets. it’s definitely not a dynamic he could handle often, and he’d need lots of praise afterwards, but there’s smth so exhilerating to him abt being treated so coldly from time to time
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so-long-soldier-writes · 1 year ago
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drabble #10 - aphrodisiac
kai parker x reader
summary: you can only listen to damon ramble on for so long before you lose focus. unfortunately, this time, your zoning out manages to cause maximum embarrassment when the rest of the group follows your line of sight.
tags: pomegranates, references to greek mythology, teasing, flirting, embarrassment
word count: 936
a/n: i wrote this a little bit ago, and even though pomegranate season is over now (😭), i'm gonna post it bc i've been lagging recently!
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“Elena, you’ll be here, with me, on the lookout in case he comes this way. Bonnie, you’ll be here, with Matt. Caroline, with Stefan. Kai, I only trust you with Y/N, and certainly not by yourself, and you two will be here.” With each delegation, Damon looks to the person for a nod of confirmation. Everyone’s given him one so far… except you. “Y/N? Are you listening?” 
Caroline lets out a giggle, knowing exactly where your attention has landed, and it’s definitely not on Damon’s plan. 
Damon looks over to the blonde, then to Elena, who also lets out a chuckle. “Y/N?” Stefan stifles a laugh. “Y/N…” He rolls his eyes. “Kai, can you stop plucking that pomegranate for one moment?!”
“How am I bothering you? You said I could eat it-”
“Just stop for a second!”
Startled, the boy puts down his fruit. He holds his hands above the napkin, not letting any juice drip onto the Salvatore’s thousand dollar rug. “Happy?”
“Shh! Y/N!”
You’re in a daze. Entranced. You can hear Damon talking, but none of his words register. Something much more interesting’s caught your eye: Kai. Specifically, Kai and his pomegranate that he’s been working on for the last five minutes. 
The juice looks like blood on his hands, dripping down his delicate fingers, staining his skin. He plucks out each seed individually, gently and skillfully, as he loosens them from the pith. He takes his earnings between his pink lips; you can see his jaw working against the crunch hidden inside.
You understand, now, why pomegranates are considered aphrodisiacs; how Hades captured his lover, luring her towards him by way of the fruit. 
You’re not sure when watching becomes staring, but at some point, it does. You’re not sure how long you’re staring before you attract quite the audience. 
Kai, of course, is too focused on his fruit to realize. That is, until Damon asks him to stop so that he can get your attention. Kai looks around the room, wondering why all eyes are on him, but then he notices they're all actually gazing on you. They’re watching you watch him. He’s confused, at first, then a little self-conscious, but then finds himself enthralled at the idea that you, of all people, are so focused on him. 
“Y/N!” Damon shouts and claps at the same time. 
You startle, jumping out of your trance and looking down at the carpet. You’re not sure when Kai stopped eating, but you quickly realize he had caught you staring at some point, and now you’re overwhelmed with embarrassment. “Sorry,” you say to no one in particular. Kai, mostly, maybe.
Sorry, I was completely daydreaming. Sorry, I was captivated by your fingers. Sorry, I was wondering what they’d feel like on my skin. On my…
“Y/N! Focus!”
“Shit! I’m sorry!”
“Damn, girl, you doing okay?” Caroline asks, amused. 
“Yeah… didn’t sleep a lot last night.”
“Oh that’s too bad.” She totally didn’t fall for that lie. You curse yourself in your head. “Did you hear Damon’s plan?”
“No.”
Kai’s gone back to his pomegranate. You force yourself to look away from him. 
“Y/N, you’ll be stationed with Kai,” he then mutters, “your little pomegranate buddy,” then, louder again, “because you’re the only one I trust with him, and I don’t trust him to be alone.”
“Okay.”
“Good.”
You stare at the floor for the rest of his speech, trying desperately to not look back up at Kai’s pretty pink lips. 
~~~
By the end of the “meeting”, everyone’s places are announced and Damon’s satisfied with his decision making. You’ll all go after Lily tomorrow, and hopefully, if all goes well, she’ll be in the dungeons by the following morning. 
Sometime after he’s dismissed you, you search for Kai, feeling an intense need to apologize. Luckily, he’s over by the sink. When you reach him, he’s rubbing his hands and arms clean. The juice turns the soap, then the water pink, and his skin goes back to its usual shade.
“Hey,” you approach, somewhat out of the blue. 
He smiles at the sound of your voice. “Hi.”
“Sooo… we’re partners for Damon’s little plan.”
“Yep. If you ask me, it’s totally not gonna work.”
“His plans tend to be a hit or a miss.”
“Mhm? And which will this one be?” He jokes lightly.
You tap a finger to your chin. “Definitely a miss.” He chuckles, then nods at you for a paper towel, which you provide. “Hey, Kai? I’m, uh, I’m sorry for staring at you earlier. I was completely lost in another world.”
“No biggie. You don’t need to apologize.”
“Okay. But I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything…”
“You? Make me uncomfortable? Not possible. It’s not everyday you manage to get a pretty girl’s attention. Especially not when you’re eating the messiest thing in the world.”
The compliment - flirt? - speeds your heart up fast. It makes you admit the stupidest thing possible in the next couple of words. “Ah, well messy or not, you made it look hot.” Your eyes widen immediately. “I mean, like, you were- the fruit- I- um- shit.”
He chuckles. “Don’t sweat it, I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”
“Okay,” you reply, voice small.
Kai stares at you for a moment, expression unreadable. Then, “well… see you tomorrow, Y/N. I gotta go find Damon and thank him for something.”
“Damon?” You ask, surprised.
“Yeah… thank him for pairing me with the cutest girl in the gang.” He winks as he passes, and you just about die on the spot. 
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rimatsu · 1 month ago
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Girl how do I know you don’t bite…
Anyways, I like your speculations and I’ll be honest I’m so hesitant to put on the clown shoes but my gut is telling me the 217 truck isn’t a reunion, but it will be Buck searching for Tommy at all the emergencies they’re called to and never running into him. I think it would be smart that if they did have a reunion, they have this kind of build up because then the audience is always on the look out for him. And if they went with the fate route and this build up combined, their reunion will be outside of an emergency at the least expected time.
I’m all for crash that helicopter, but I think if they reunite with one of them in danger it will be Buck, and that’s mostly because I think Tim pays attention to fandom and one of last years most popular memes was the 118 going through the worst, while Buck lived his romcom starry eyed fantasy. It’s his time to be the one in danger. We’ll just have to see if Tommy is part of rescue
i promise i gently nibble at most
thank you! i get the hesitation but atp putting on the clown makeup is comforting. hope is a beautiful emotion even when it's completely unwarranted <3 it'll need to be tempered down in a month or so but rn we still exist in this liminal space where anything could happen so i say enjoy it while we can
oh i really like your take. it'd support the pining, will-they-won't-they angle. in an ideal world where this is definitely a breakup/makeup arc by design, building expectation over multiple episodes would make the reunion that much sweeter!
i do think we're due for a Buck NDE soon ngl. bc of karmic balance. that said, if the reconciliation is to happen, i'd rather not have it be driven by desperation following a big accident. a calmly contemplated decision not influenced by external factors is more trustworthy and rn they both need to thrust each other's declarations. but i'll admit it'd make for more boring tv compared to a dramatic hospital bed confession.
also i think they should save the chopper/jeep crash or other work related maiming after they're back together for maximum angst. it'll hit harder if they're fully committed to each other and to a future together when it's jeopardized by potential death <3
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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 1 year ago
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Hi, I had a random thought about Wylan Van Eck and it accidentally turned into a world building rant so enjoy… I guess?
Every so often I randomly remember that Wylan has canonically been to the races at Caryeva in Ravka and I just can’t help but wonder what the hell this situation was like. I don’t recall a lot of specific descriptions about Caryeva so correct me if I’m wrong but I believe it’s an environment quite similar to that of the Barrel and that boy was not thriving in the Barrel okay the stress of imagining young Wylan stuck with his father at the Caryeva races is so real. Like I’m not saying the entire place must be a hellhole but the key information we know about it (at least to my recollection and what I gathered about two minutes ago from the Grishaverse wiki) is that its main points of interest are gambling in horse races and producing alcohol, and we know that Vasily gathered a less than pleasant reputation whilst spending most of his time there gambling away what little fortune he had left. And also what the hell was Van Eck doing there in the first place? The version of Jan Van Eck we see him present to the other characters and therefore to us as the reader (since we don’t ever get his POV) would simply cease to exist at the impropriety of it all, he can’t get through a conversation about the Barrel without cringing and you’re telling me he went on a trip to Caryeva and took his presumably very young son with him? (I’m assuming this bc Wylan says he *used* to take him everywhere with him and Van Eck found out he couldn’t read when he was about eight). What was this situation???? Why was he there???? I wonder if this is another subtle hint towards the potential extent of less than savoury business Van Eck is involved in beyond Wylan’s knowledge, like when he suggests meeting on Vellgeluk (an island used mostly by smugglers and traffickers) and Inej is surprised he knows about it and Kaz responds something along the lines of “perhaps he’s not so much the upstanding merch he claims to be”.
The reference to Caryeva just always sticks out to me as slightly random in comparison to the other places Wylan lists his father as having taken him to - the Shu oil fields? Absolutely, this is a world (at least as I’ve understood it) currently moving towards its Industrial Revolution at top speed of course Van Eck of all people is looking to invest in oil futures he may be the worst but he is clever; the Ice Court? It’s a diplomatic event between the leaders of two countries, one desperately trying to maintain its neutrality to hold tightly to its place in the world economy as it very quickly develops (Kerch) and one desperately trying to impose itself as a greater world power than its being given credit for via violence and focusing its development on military-based progress like the tanks (Fjerda) (btw I think I’ve talked about this before in my worldbuilding posts but I have thoughts about the tanks and the general global development of the grishaverse so if anyone wants more theories/analyses on that let me know), so yes it absolutely makes sense especially since we’re starting to see (or at least I think we are but I’m not a historian I’m basing this on my understanding about how these things happened in our world and how they would develop in their world based on the distinctions between the two) the globalisation of the Grishaverse beginning; the Jurda farms in near Shriftport? We all know Van Eck has a vested interest in jurda and we also know it was a big part of his business long before parem came to the scene because it is a massively used stimulant throughout Kerch; Weddle? Absolutely, I don’t know if it’s been confirmed as the capital but if it isn’t it’s still a major city in Novyi Zem there are a thousand reasons Van Eck could’ve been there; Elling? Once again it’s entirely reasonable to imagine Fjerda having a vested interest in an alliance with Kerch to secure their place in the global economy and to manipulate what is almost definitely and imminent and unavoidable collapse of the country’s questionable neutrality; Elling makes sense because Van Eck probably visited Fjerda a lot and even if there wasn’t anything about alliances and military tactics and etc going on Elling is a port settlement and it makes plenty of sense to assume large amounts of trade take place here. (My theory about the military stuff if below, sorry the paragraph was too long to get it all in together)
(Ravka is in severe debt to the Kerch government and we know Fjerdan intelligence is well aware of this, especially since Matthias knew when he hadn’t been in the government for over a year and never worked anywhere near espionage, and Kerch is also a massive global power. Support for Fjerda from Kerch would mean support from the Southern Colonies and possibly even division in Novyi Zem, and whilst it would probably prevent the Fjerdans from any kind of alliance with the Shu due to the tension between Kerch and Shu Han being so high it would also probably not be necessary for them to make a deal with the Shu if the had the support of the Kerch. Ultimately, Fjerda and Shu Han are fighting for control of the same land, they just haven’t reached each other yet because they’re still stuck on opposite sides of Ravka. If either country gained control of the majority of Ravka’s land then it would lead to a fight with the other; Fjerda need global support if they have a chance of winning two wars immediately after each other and if Kerch are in fact going to have to lose their neutrality, as it seems they are being forced to do and definitely would have been forced to do if parem became a global resource (Van Eck even says himself on the matter that Kerch has enjoyed neutrality for too long), and already have high tensions with Shu Han and rising tensions with Novyi Zem (due to the assassination of the Zemeni ambassador, which I do believe was an attempt to start a war btw, that they blame the Kerch for and the Kerch suspect the Shu for) then they are the perfect target for Fjerda to form an alliance with. Kerch also has a very strong navy which Fjerda presumably lacks since their efforts have all been focused on Ravka, where they share a land border, so to enter a larger scale/global war they would need a navy on their side. Again, I want to emphasise I know very little about military tactics and history I am approaching this by imagining that it’s a logic puzzle, so you might be reading this and this and thinking that it makes no sense in realistic scenarios but this is just my theory)
But Caryeva???? Even if there weren’t standing for Van Eck and the Merchant Council to be plotting against Ravka, which I personally believe there is, it STILL WOULDN’T MAKE DIPLOMATIC OR BUSINESS SENSE TO GO TO CARYEVA. So in summary I think Van Eck was doing lots of messed up things that young Wylan didn’t understand because he was a small child so why would he, plus this was a time in his life when probably trusted his father, and I think that this is yet another of the very subtle ways Leigh Bardugo shows us that there is a lot more going on beneath the surface than we notice or that the characters have comprehended because it does!’t fit into the focus of the story. Whether or not Van Eck was planning on building his diplomacy towards Fjerda into an alliance or not (but I do want to add that the only other language he hired someone to teach his son was Fjerdan, so that may also be a hint), I definitely think that he was involved in something illegal to specifically be at the races in Caryeva. Like to vineyards or something for a trade deal, sure. But why, after going on and on about the questionable version of Ghezen he believes in and how the Barrel is a “den of filth” and calling gambling a “vice” and arguing with Kaz because he was offended when he said that speculating on the markets was a form of gambling, would Jan Van Eck be at Caryeva horse races?
Anyway I’ve been going on about this for way longer than I intended, hope this made some semblance of sense and thanks for reading
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callixton · 11 months ago
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like sorry i got a taste of my ideal future only to have it immediately ripped away and treated as a joke and/or a conquest and sorry that that has had some lasting effects on me. didn’t feel good man
like. i have grown SO much in my understanding of myself and i would like to think as a person as well but also in some ways i think i have regressed sm in the past year. like i know what future feels right now and i do not regret the difficulty getting here bc of what it taught me but. man do i wish i didn’t feel so awful expressing that or living that
#this is my version of a homoerotic friendship that haunts you for the rest of your life i think. with a spin#and then i shortly after got into a monogamous relationship which i didn’t know would be monogamous#and in doing so learned more about how i feel in relationships (bad) and therefore what i need#i miss him too :( i have just been so overwhelmed and exhausted lately and we have not had any time to see each other#and i promised that our friendship wouldn’t drift and it is but not bc i want it to :( if i have energy after a rehearsal someday i’m gonna#- ask to come over#anyway. and also that i am having the most intense streak of not really wanting to have sex but desperately wanting to get hit of my life#those two things usually coincide even if the actions are distinct but it’s really just the one rn#it really is mostly the being in college without transportation and how the limits my autonomy tbh#fuck inaccesible public transit soo bad#oh that’s what i was gonna say. i see couples on screen who are so obviously in love and i used to want that#and now i just feel. No desire. like i don’t know if there was ever personal desire so much as i wanted to feel what They were feeling but#- it’s gonna and i’m really uninterested in getting it back. however i see a poly relationship and get so jealous .#*gone. and by getting it back i mean wanting something that is in practice unpleasant for me lol#which is also complicated bc i don’t even want a poly Relationship. like yes i very much do but not a romantic one#i am working through some things i think. clearly#ted talks
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7ndipity · 1 year ago
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When Their Crush Has a Crush
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: In connection with the Secret Crush HCs, how they would react/get jealous to finding out that their crush has feelings for someone(or even another member)
Warnings: angst, swearing
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! We’re back with more of that unrequited angst that y’all apparently love lol! This also kinda reminded me of this jealousy reaction I made awhile back, so there’s that if you want to check those out too!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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Jin:
Oh, he HATES it. And does not hide it, though he’s giving you five different reasons why he hates it, and none of them are the truth, at least not entirely.
“They don't strike me as the relationship type.” “I think they might be a murderer.” “They’re just not good enough for you.”
Tries to make himself look better in comparison.
But he’s not trying to make a move! Nonono, he would never do that. He just wants you to know what a better option looks like.
Yeah, that’s it.🙄
Yoongi:
Tries to not let it bother him, and by that I mean he’s like “of-course-you-would-find-someone-why-wouldn’t-you?-it’s-not-like-he-ever-told-you-how-he-felt-but-it’s-totally-fine-and-not-haunting-his-every-waking-moment-but-omg-what-if-you-actually-get-with-them-”
Yeah, no, he’s going to majorly overthink the whole situation, like it’s bad.
Would probably withdraw for a bit, but then realizes that he can’t stand the distance and gets kinda clingy.
Which clingy Yoongi is like? A whole different person?
This would probably be one of the few moments that would tip you off about his true feelings.
Hobi:
Tries not to be bothered at first, bc it’s just a crush, it doesn’t mean anything… Right?
Queue him getting in his head and starting to worry about literally everything.
Throws so much side eye though and knit picks whoever's caught your attention, but he can’t quite help it.
Would end up slipping up and saying something about he doesn’t think they’re a good match for you. Which leads to you asking who would be a good match for you then?
And then he either just says idk, or ends up basically describing himself and hoping you don’t notice how desperately he’s trying not to confess right then and there.
Namjoon:
Gets jealous super easily, you already know, though you don’t quite know why.
As I said before, if you so much as even mention being into somebody, he’s pulling back and distancing himself a bit as a kind of defense mechanism.
Or else he tries to avoid being around them or bringing them up in conversation, though he’ll deny that’s what he’s doing if you ask.
Is so fucking passive aggressive about anything relationship related, you end up thinking that he must’ve got dumped or smth and feeling kinda bad for him.
Which ends up triggering this weird sort of truce between you where you just don’t talk about it for a while.
Jimin:
Lowkey panicking inside. Because yeah, hypothetically he wants you to be happy and live your best life, but does it have to be with them? Or anyone?
Would want to try to dissuade your feelings for them a bit, but he doesn’t want to come off as manipulative or disrespectful of your opinion.
“They don’t seem like a good match for you.”
He’s mostly kinda mad at himself, cause if he’d just told you how he felt earlier, he wouldn’t be in this situation.
Would probably start seriously considering actually confessing, cause he cannot stand being in this weird limbo state with you.
Taehyung:
Ngl, he’s so dramatic, even if it’s just a tiny crush, he’s going to be kinda heartbroken, like you might as well have kissed them in front of him.
Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but you get what I’m saying. He’s not cool with this.
Does not hide his feelings of disdain for whoever’s caught your attention.(they are not passing the vibe check)
Gets hella clingy and wants to be with you constantly, so that you don’t really have time for them? If that even makes sense?
Tries to find things to impress you and get you to take notice of him cause don’t you think he’s nice too? Don’t you think he’d make a good partner too?
Jungkook:
The sulkiest man to ever exist.
He can not stand it, even if it's a purely theoretical situation, like all you said was that you thought some guy was cute, and now he’s imagining all the worst case scenarios where he could lose you to them.
Like Tae, he’d get soo fucking possessive and clingy, trying to prove himself to you, though he might not exactly be sure what he’s trying to prove.
Would actively try to put himself between you and them if at all possible.
As I said before, this would probably be his achilles heel that pushes him over the edge and leads to him confessing, even if he knows it’s the wrong time.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @captainorangegoose @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis
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