#ummmm am i missing anything important

[lagunaseca2013]

how does pecco tell his parents that he's pregnant in the teen pregnancy au? how awkward is the eventual valentino safe sex talk for both luca and pecco? Do they eventually have another kid way later in life luca unintentionally having kids that have the same age gap as him and valentino?

hi anon! this ask honestly got me to open a google doc for this thing which is more than I can say for half the wips I’ve talked about here lmao. as always things kind of got away from me so I hope I’ve answered your questions but tbh I feverishly wrote half of this in the actual tumblr app bc I was so inspired so. apologies if it’s not that good! but cheers <3

—

“Pecco?” Carola picks up on the fourth ring of his ninth attempted call. She sounds groggy and confused, like she’s just woken up, probably because— “It’s four AM,” she groans, “you just woke me up. What’s wrong?”

Pecco swallows against the lump in his throat, the words getting stuck in his mouth. He can’t think of a single thing to say, though he’d spent the entire five-hour drive to Turin agonizing about it. In his defense, he couldn’t really do his best thinking when he kept having to pull over to throw up. Most of the time he wasn’t dry heaving on the side of the road, he’d spent going 200kph and trying not to have a panic attack.

He’s breathing heavily, trying desperately not to burst into tears again. Pecco knows if he’s silent for much longer, Carola will either hang up or call the firing squad, the best big sister ever, even if his skin is crawling, just thinking about facing her right now. In his. . . .state.

“I’m outside,” he croaks, finally, his voice sore from disuse and crying and, god, so much throwing up. “But I forgot to bring my keys.”

Carola is silent for a moment, but he can hear her taking slow, steady breaths through the crackle of the line. “Stay there, I have to turn off the alarm for the gate.”

—

His mama nearly has an aneurysm when he slinks down the stairs, late in the morning. He’d slept tucked into the corner between Carola’s bed and the wall like he hadn’t since—well, probably before he moved to Pesaro. Or hit puberty, whichever came first. After his sister had tugged the explanation out of him, she’d refused to let him go to sleep alone. They'd huddled together under her soft floral sheets and she’d pressed a curious hand to the slight swell of his belly that he couldn’t even really look at without getting nauseous, an expression of wonder on her face that he hadn’t yet encountered from anyone who knew about the—

“Francesco!” His mama interrupts his downward spiral, pressing two warm hands against his cheeks. “Is that Valentino not feeding you properly? You have to come sit down and eat, eat piccolo! You’ve gotten too thin!”

For once, his stomach doesn’t rebel at the plate of brioche, and his mom happily flits around the kitchen tidying up in the way she does when she’s trying to figure out how to approach a conversation. She frowns when he pushes away the espresso she’d left for him, and asks for warm milk, but carefully hasn’t asked him what the hell he’s doing here, why he hadn’t told them he was coming home. Why he’d shown up in the middle of the night and couldn’t bring himself to face her. Since he was little, Pecco has always been. . . .different, when it came to emotional matters, and his mama had learned long ago to let him come to her when he was ready.

Pecco doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready for the conversation they’re about to have. In fact, he barely gets down half a slice of bread before he’s running to the bathroom, hacking it all back up, the thing inside him rejecting it all anyway. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until his mama pulls him in, rubbing soothing circles into his back and reaching up to brush tears off his cheek. “Oh, bambino,” she sighs, heavy with concern. “What’s going on?”

—

He’d insisted on waiting for his papa and Carola to return, mostly because he was pretty sure he was only going to be able to handle the conversation once, and he really needed his sister’s support to even attempt it. His mama had fussed over him for the rest of the day, forcing him back into bed with bowls of broth he’d thankfully been able to keep down. She’d even taken his temperature, humming thoughtfully when it was perfectly normal, though Pecco thought, uncomfortably, that they both sort-of knew he wasn’t that kind of sick.

Unfortunately, crushing Carola’s hands like a lifeline and staring back at his deeply concerned parents, it feels even worse than he’d imagined.

His papa is the first to break the silence. “Francesco,” he says, slowly, like he’s afraid Pecco might bolt if he’s too loud. “What’s wrong, piccolo?”

Pecco swallows hard, his fingers trembling where they grip Carola’s. He feels like a child again, sitting at this very table, confessing to crashing his scooter into the neighbor’s mailbox when he was fifteen. But this is so, so much worse.

“I—” He chokes on the word, his throat tight. His mama’s face is open, patient but worried, while his papa frowns, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Carola wriggles one of her hands out of his deathgrip to pet the curls at his nape reassuringly.

“I’m pregnant,” he finally blurts out.

They all freeze for a moment, pure disbelief. His mama’s breath catches audibly, her eyes widening in shock. His papa blinks at him like he’s misheard.

The silence stretches unbearably. Pecco’s heart is hammering so hard he thinks he might actually pass out. There's a high possibility he's going to throw up again.

“Scusa?” His papa’s voice is strangled.

Pecco licks his lips, his mouth dry. “I’m pregnant.” His voice wavers slightly, but the words come out clearer this time. “I found out a few weeks ago.”

His mama makes a soft noise, pressing a hand to her mouth, her eyes shining with something unreadable. “Oh, Francesco. . . .”

His papa, on the other hand, looks confused and concerned. “But—how? That’s not possible, that’s not—you were tested, at birth, they said—you were not. . . .” He gestures vaguely, like he’s searching for an explanation in the air.

Pecco shrugs weakly. “Turns out I am.”

Silence again, Pecco's shoulders are tensed up nearly to his ears. Carola's free hand grips the back of his neck firmly, like she thinks he'll try to make a run for it.

Then, suddenly, his mama’s chair scrapes against the floor as she stands. For a split second, Pecco braces himself for yelling, but instead she kneels down, pulling him into her arms. “Oh, bambino mio,” she murmurs, her voice thick with emotion. “You must have been so scared.”

As soon as she says it, Pecco finally shatters. He crumples into her, sobs tearing from his chest, months of anxiety and fear draining out of him all at once. His mama holds him tightly, rubbing soothing circles against his back, whispering soft reassurances into his hair.

Carola reaches over, rubbing his shoulder, and even his papa, still looking completely out of his depth, awkwardly places a hand on his back.

“It’s going to be okay bambino,” his mama says firmly, pulling back just enough to cup his face. “We’ll figure this out together.”

Pecco sniffles, his breath hitching. He’s exhausted, terrified, still fucking nauseous, but for the first time in weeks the knot in his chest loosens, just a little.

—

It’s terribly hard to focus on what Valentino is saying when Luca looks this good, Pecco realizes with dawning horror, the third time he zones out of the lecture, staring at Luca’s hands. His long fingers are folded neatly in his lap, the perfect picture of proper and respectful, if Pecco couldn't see that he was still sporting a semi under the table.

In their defense, Valentino had walked into the apartment unannounced in the syrupy hour after lunch, but before Pecco’s third daily nap, when he had the best chance of seducing Luca into messing around on the couch. He’d then decided, seven and a half months into the unplanned pregnancy, that catching his brother with his hand up Pecco’s stretched out tshirt was cause for the safe sex talk he’d been “meaning to get around to” for the last five years.

Valentino, completely oblivious—or maybe just choosing to ignore the heavy tension radiating between them—leans forward, elbows on his knees, and clasps his hands together like he’s about to deliver the most important race strategy briefing of his entire life. Pecco wonders, idly, if this is what he looks like when Uccio shows him “telemetry” on his iPad.

“Look, I get it,” he says, nodding sagely. “You’re young, you’re in love, you’re horny—”

Pecco makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Luca chokes on his own spit.

Valentino waves them off and keeps going. “But you clearly haven’t been careful enough, considering. . . .” he gestures vaguely at Pecco’s belly, which is currently both peeking humiliatingly out the bottom of his tshirt and pressing up against the edge of the table.

Pecco glares. He knows he's gotten huge recently, and he's been feeling particularly sensitive about it. “Wow, grazie, Vale. Really, I hadn't noticed.”

Luca, to his credit, looks genuinely sheepish. “It’s not like we didn’t try to be careful,” he mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck. “We didn't know Pecco was a carrier.” Pecco feels his face heat up at the reminder.

Valentino levels them both with a sharp look. “Clearly, you didn’t try hard enough. Even if Pecco hadn't been a carrier, it is still the safest to use a condom!”

Luca groans, tipping his head back against the couch. “Mio Dio, if this is your way of giving us the condom talk, you’re about seven months too late.”

Valentino ignores him, finally in the rhythm of his tirade. It's an interesting look on him, considering it's usually Uccio who attempts any kind of lecturing about the behavior of the Academy. “You know, there are many ways to be safe. Barriers, timing, communication—”

Pecco shoots Luca a sidelong glance. Luca, who is still, inexplicably, half-hard in his boxers. Luca, who just an hour ago had been shoving his tongue down Pecco's throat against the couch cushions, murmuring things that had absolutely not been about barriers or communication. Things much more aligned with how they'd ended up here in the first place.

Pecco swallows hard. This is kind of his second worst-nightmare, just below getting knocked up mid-season on the list. He hasn't even let himself think about how Valentino said they were, jesus, in love, and neither of them even protested it. Pecco has been in love with Luca for as long as he can remember, but he's always known Luca just saw him as a friend. Luca, of course, is just having sex with him out of convenience.

Meanwhile, Valentino is on a roll. “And don’t think that just because you’re already—” another vague hand-waving gesture at Pecco’s belly. It's kind of amazing that they're this far along, and he's in his thirties, and can't bring himself to say it. “—That you shouldn’t still be careful. Pregnancy hormones can make you want to go at it like rabbits, but you need to be mindful of—”

Pecco shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and his gigantic belly jostles the table enough to knock over the sad vase of dead flowers he'd gotten Luca for Father's Day. He's spent approximately ten minutes in one position, so his back aches enough to make him want to scream. “I am not listening to this anymore.”

Valentino raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “You think I wanted to be here?” He throws his hands up dramatically. “You think I enjoy this? But I’m responsible for both of you!”

“Vale,” Luca interrupts, desperate. “We get it. Be careful, use protection, don’t fuck up again. Lesson learned. Can we please never talk about this again?”

He squints at them for a long moment, weighing his options, then sighs, rubbing his temples. “Fine. But if I find out you’ve been reckless again,” he points an accusatory finger between them.

Luca glares. “What, you’ll ground us?” He gestures at Pecco's belly. “Bit late for that.”

Valentino pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am just trying to make sure you know how to have safe sex,” he sighs. “I don't want either of you to have to sacrifice more than you already have because of another—” he stops himself, just in time, but Pecco knows he was going to say, what he was going to call their baby. A mistake. He sees it reflected back in his eyes, in everyone’s eyes, lately. His skin crawls every time he visits the ranch, seeing Mig and Franky’s looks of pity. Nicolo’s barely-hidden derision. Bez hasn’t been able to look him in the eyes since he started showing for real, months ago.

The second Valentino finally leaves, after he gives them the dish of food from Stefania that he had come to deliver in the first place, an excruciating round of hugs, and a parting shot about prenatal vitamins, somehow managing to keep his set of keys in the rush to kick him out—Pecco lets his head thunk onto Luca's shoulder with a dramatic groan.

“I will never forgive you for giving him a key. We aren't having sex again until you get it back from him!”

Luca snorts, reaching over to place a warm palm over the silver of belly not covered by the tshirt. “You say that now, tesoro.”

Pecco lifts his head up, raising an eyebrow.

Luca smirks. “Where were we?”

[thepradapariah]

Mars ☄️ and Your Sexxx Language 🐱💋✨

QUICK MESSAGE TO THE BADDIES

HELLO!!!! To all of my sweet, sweet Kosmic Baddies, Oh!! How I’ve missed you!

I cannot believe it’s been over a FRIGGIN year, but GOODNESS….believe me, when I say this past year has been a roller coaster for me, I truly mean it. I can only imagine what’s been going on in your lives as well. Just TOO MUCH!!!1111!!!!!111!!!!!1 But welcome to 2024! A universal 8 year and the year of the Dragon!!! WE IN THIS THANNNNGGG!!!! Hard work, discipline and accountability is the theme, and we can’t lose!!!!!

Believe it or not, I actually STARTED writing this to have to you for Halloween, but ummmm….this is looking like a Valentine’s Day post instead! HA!!!! Blame it on my Saturn in Pisces– my relationship to time is….non existent. But, I think this timing is better anyways. The theme is very fitting so we are going to turn apples into oranges.

***Even funnier update, now it’s past Valentine’s Day….GOODNESS!!! This has been the longest it’s taken me to write anything. Like…INSANE. Almost 6 months I’ve been steadily working on this!

Thank you to those who have continued to support me! Thank you to those who have continued to share and interact with my post through my…let’s say, hiatus! I am planning to put more energy and effort into this blog post. I LOVE writing for y’all, it is really one of my favorite things in the world.

I am going to take a moment to apologize in advance and say, the typos are probably going to be real with this one. Because I’ve been working on it for so long, I’m just ready to get it out, so it won’t be my cleanest work. I will probably be updating and editing, so bare with me!

🕯 INTRODUCTION 🕯

Sooooo….where to start? I wanted to do something fun and interesting this go round because I missed y’all so much, but I also wanted to do something light so I could get back into the rhythm of writing again….aaaaaaaaaand I thought you would enjoy something a little smexiiiii as we move into cuddle buddy season. So, in this post, we are going to talk about Mars and Your Sexxx language.

One day, as I was driving around town, it dawned on me that we always talk about Love Languages (check out my Mercury post if you haven’t already) and we never talk about sex languages. And y’all know me, and if you don’t know, you’ll soon find out, I am a Bharani moon (atmakaraka at that); and the blending between Mars and Venus is my soul’s most valuable asset to share with the world…(Did I mention my moon is the 11th House?) Sex is one of the most taboo topics (in Western puritan culture, at least), yet such a powerful resource in our human tool box and it’s ridiculously important in our relationships. The 7th House is followed by the 8th House for a reason. Intimacy, of course not always sexual, is what leads to self-discovery, the 9th House. So we cannot overlook the important step that is sexual relations. Even the word “orgasm” means “little death” and death baby, is as close as you get to God. (See how those houses flow together so well?) Hence why things such as Tantra are a sexual AND religious experience all in one. Don’t be fooled by western/christian ideals into thinking that sex is unholy or ungodly. If you think Jesus was a virgin, think again. I mean, what’s the point of turning water into wine if you’re just going to roll over and go to sleep? Y’know what I mean?

Don’t worry! If you’re a less experienced reader, and haven’t engaged in aaaaallll thhhaattt… this post is still for you! In fact, this is one of the reasons I love astrology so much, because hopefully this post will give you some context about yourself and what your SOUL craves, not just your body, so when you do start “doing the do” you can be spiritually comfortable with your wants and desires instead of ashamed or even afraid of them.

Not to put all my business on the street…but, hey, I love y’all, so I won’t keep too many secrets from you (mercury in the 8th, HA)…but, I had to do quite a bit of bumping and grinding to discover what my soul needs in an intimate relationship and I wish there was more of “guide” for me on that journey! So HERE…I’m giving it to you!

WHAT IS A SEX LANGUAGE? 😈

To be completely honest, a “sex language” isn’t something as defined as a love language, so please, bear with me as we discover this together. Please feel free to share any experiences or insight with me. Although I may not always respond, I TRULY appreciate you taking the time to share with me. I try to read everything that I can!

I’m defining sex language as how one creates and shares intimacy in their close relationships. This is particularly expressed through physical interactions and outward expressions. Mars is a planet that governs our passions, drives and desires, meaning our sex language is guided by what we deeply want and crave from our partners on a spiritual level. Venus represents more of the external notions that we have for love and relationships, while Mars represents our internal needs from love and relationships. Mars is inherently a more personal and “self-centered” planet, so interestingly enough, your sex language is all about you! I go as far to say, when you find a partner, don’t forget to check your Mars compatibility as well. If you have extremely incompatible Mars signs, you will have to do a lot more work in the relationship to overcome the constant friction. Moreover, if you have more compatible Mars signs, then WOOOO BABY, the sexual tension could be off the charts!

✨ ABOUT MARS ✨

Mars placements won’t make or break a relationship, per say, but it is a very important layer to help maintain a relationship. How many of you have heard of sexless marriages and people being unsatisfied in their relationships in a sexual way? Does that mean the couples always break-up because of the lack of sex or chemistry? No…..But does it help a HECK OF A LOT when you are wildly attracted to your partner? YES! (Of course this isn’t always a good thing…but for the sake of this post, we are only talking about rainbows and sunshine.) Just keep this in mind as you start to use this knowledge in your journey. Mars is a really important planet that is easy to overlook because it’s not in the Big Three! (Yet, it iiissss the natural ruler of the 1st House).

WHY IT ALL MATTERS 🌚

I truly believe there is a shift in the collective and many couples are going to be coming into union over the course of the next year or so. Why? Because Ketu is FINALLY transitioning out of Libra and entering Virgo. If you’ve noticed, we’ve seen quite a bit of celebrity break-ups and covid relationships coming to a screeching halt. Hence why I say, if you’ve been single, or haven’t been in a serious connection in the last few years or even ever, now is the time that your next partner might be going through some significant ending with an ex. Union is on the horizon for a lot of souls who have been doing theeee spiritual work. That’s why I couldn’t think of a better topic to get started to set the mooooooooood. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

So without further ado, let’s get into the nitty gritty. I’m going to do something different and start with Mars in Pisces/12th House and work backwards to Mars in Aries/1st House! I thought “Hey! Why not switch it up a bit? Pisces shouldn’t be forced to scroll ALL the time!”

***Note: If you’re feeling extra spicy, you can read for whatever sign is in your 1st House and 8th House as well because those are traditionally Mars ruled Houses. And you can read for your 12H, because the 12H is also the house of bedroom pleasures! Always keep in mind that we are complex creatures and astrology is like a puzzle, so it’s okay for some things to resonate and other things to not. Learn as many perspectives as possible so you can define yourself!

With Love & Lust,

Enjoy!

A-D 💋

Mars in Pisces/Mars in the 12th House

“Cut me like a rose, turn me like a beast” Only- Ry X

If your natal Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you may actually have a hard time knowing what your desires are. Why? Because Mars can feel as if it’s drowning in the deep spiritual waters of Pisces. Your wants can be quite dreamy. You crave a sexual experience that transcends space and time, forcing you to leave your body and touch God himself in ecstasy. (I’m a western Mars in Pisces, so…I get it). When it comes to your sex language, you want your partner to just get “you”. You don’t want to have to explain or talk or direct, you’d rather just receive and give a special type of unconditional love that knows no bounds. Because of this “boundless love”, you may actually, literally, lack boundaries. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, so we are going to focus on the positive. You are truly accepting of those who are accepting of you. Because Pisces is a mutable sign, you are willing to fit into whatever box your partner wants to put you in…and you receive great pleasure from making a deep seeded fantasy of your partner come true. You could be just as playful and imaginative when it comes to role-playing as a Gemini.

Because Mars is in Pisces or the 12H, you’ll find that a lot of partners will project their wishes and dreams onto you. Hence why you want a love that is really deep, because people can get washed away in the shallow end of your energy without ever fully realizing how deep your waters flow. This can be frustrating. And because Mars isn’t the most comfortable here, you can have some unhealthy ways of expressing your sexual frustration. Particularly if your Mars is in the 12H, you can be attracted to self-gratification through self-pleasure and also self-harm. You may even conflate the two, harm & pleasure, and have a dark side to your sexual fantasies. Your passions and desires can end up being repressed because people may not understand them, or be able to meet your high expectations. Amd babes, I love you, but just know, your expectations out of partnership are OTHERWORLDLY. But no worries!! You are SUPER DUPER freaky and almost a guaranteed partner that will go down in history books, particularly after you get comfortable in your own sensuality.

One of the things to watch out for with this Mars, is you can be passive-aggressive in the bedroom. You can take a more passive role, expecting and energetically demanding that your partner take the lead. You may not realize you even give off this energy, but the internal need that you have to dissolve into your partner, like sugar into water, can be very intense. And the gag is, sugar doesn’t really fully dissolve, so what you’re seeking can be impossible to satisfy on the earthly plane. Because of this, it is IMPERATIVE for you to have spiritual outlets within your sexual connections. It may be that you and your partner practice Tantra, or you simply pray together. With this Mars, you can absolutely use sex as a tool for manifestation. Watch your thoughts during sex, because you truly can create MAGIK!

Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th House

“I believe in aliens, I don’t believe in love” Familiarity by Teezo Touchdown

If your natal Mars is in Aquarius or the 11th House, you are something special. Why? Because out of all the signs, you are the most unique lover. I KNOW!!! How friggin’ cliche, Aquarius=Unique, blah blah blah…boring. YES! It’s said all the time, but it’s the truth. In Vedic Astrology, it is important to note that Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and Rahu. This is hugely impactful as to why you are unlike anyone else. Even as you read this, you won’t be exactly like the next person reading this, because the Saturn Rahu combination can be influenced by so many different factors. Aquarians are the hardest sign to write for in general, simply because you are going to be very individualist when it comes to how you express yourself. Now, all that being said, you still crave, very deeply, a sense of belonging. So please, don’t ever take for granted how special you are. If someone is lucky enough to break through your hard exterior, they really are in for an extraterrestrial experience!

Because Mars is in an air sign here, you may or may not be the most sensual and/or sexual person on the planet. You could be. But you could not be. And that is the gift…or curse…of this Mars placement. I have Mars in Aquarius myself, and I remember reading an article that said “this placement can be infuriating to your partner because you are so nonchalant.” And I can definitely say I’ve lost relationships because the other party assumed I was disinterested because I wasn’t the most expressive when it came to my emotions. It’s important to remember that Mars in Aquarius/11H is actually a neutral placement. It isn’t a death sentence or the worst thing on the planet, but it’s not necessarily the best. So don’t be too hard on yourself if your partners don’t understand you very easily. You will just have to do more work to learn how to communicate and accommodate in your relationships. This may be something that follows you throughout life…and forget your partner….it could be infuriating to you! BUT NO WORRIES! Mars in Aquarius or Mars in the 11th house is usually more concerned with developing and nurturing friendships, which seems to contradict the more lustful side of Mars. Longing for friendship and connection versus longing for sensual pleasure and connection can be seen as two different things.

What Mars in Aquarius/11H wants more than anything is L. O. Y. A. L. T. Y. Because this Mars placement can grant so much freedom, it is imperative for the person with this placement to feel safe and secure in the sexual relationship they are building. This is NOT to be confused with possession. Expecting loyalty from a partner isn’t the same as feeling as if you own your partner. You believe that your partner should have freedom to express and live their life the way they want to, and you expect the same in return. However, you do expect your partner to consider you when they make their decisions in life. It is very much “give a dog a bone, leave a dog alone, let a dog roam and he’ll find his way home” (S/o DMX, may he rest in peace). Meaning, in your sexual language, you want your space and privacy, but you want to feel a belonging no matter how far away you are from your partners.

NOW, for the fun stuff. You are one of the most explorative lovers on the planet. You may have a “the more the merrier” type attitude and be interested in group smexii time or oragies. You may have a dream to experience Amsterdam and the Red Light District. The beauty in having your Mars in an air sign/house is that you can remain detached from the sexual experience and partner– therefore, you may not experience jealousy because you aren’t super possessive. Again, you’re all about freedom baby!!! You may also have some pretty “far-out” kinks. You may be interested in different genders, or same gender, or mix gender or no gender or latex or pantyhoes or dress up or furries or hentai or tentacle porn….and if you’re not into it, chances are you will at least click a questionable link or two. You don’t carry the same shame as others do when it comes to what turns you on sexually. You don’t like anything boring or too routine, so your search history could be a bit…odd….BUT HEY!!! As long as it’s not hurting anyone or anything and pleasure is being derived from all parties involved, then let adults do what adults do is kind of your attitude.

Friendship is the key to your heart…and to your…uh…biological box….lol. When it comes to long-term relationships, I can bet my bottom dollar that you’re far more interested in the friendship aspects than the inherent relationship drama. When your friends ask “why are you still dealing with them”, you will follow up with “well, we are friends before anything else.” And you mean that deeply. The really funny thing is…on the other hand, you are also very likely to get down with complete strangers and never think about it again. You can hook-up and detach with the best of them, or your loyalty to a confidant can keep you in a relationship for a very long time…it. Just. depends.

The one thing that is true about your sex language, is that you speak ALL different kinds. When you look back at your life and your experiences, if you are more of an adventurous Aquarian, lets say you have a lot of air and fire in your chart, you will most likely have all kinds of stories from all different people and places. You will be one of the most interesting partners and friends to talk to about all the mixed bags of experiences that you’ve had..which is awesome. If your Mars in Aquarius/11H is paired with a more “earthy” sign or even water, you will most likely have a rom-com type love thing happening…that tugging “will they/won’t they” energy at the beginning of relationships, only to fall head over heals with the “guy/gal next door”. You may also find your sexual partners online, in a group setting or be hooked up by natural friends. “How’d you meet?” “Oh, I heard from a friend of a friend that that d*ck is a ten out of ten!”

Mars in Capricorn or Mars in the 10th House

“My vicious love, My lethal heart, I wanna screw you up into me” - Bad Bad Bad by Ramsey

If your natal Mars is in Capricorn or in the 10th House, then your sexual language is money, money…and….uh….more money. I kid, I kid…but not really. It would be easy and predictable for me to say you just lust after money, but it goes much deeper than that. Believe it or not, Mars is actually exalt in Capricorn, so, you couldn’t have a better Mars placement. Your natural ruler Saturn and Mars truly are the best of friends. And if you’re familiar with Tarot, then you know The Devil represents Capricorn energy and The Devil is all about seduction and temptation. Unlike some of the more dreamy Mars placements like Pisces/12H or Cancer 4H that use their sexual language as an escape from reality, or the detached air placements like Gemini/3H or Aquarius/11H, who are too aloof to harness Mars’ energy, YOU my Capricorn/10H individuals are acutely aware of how powerful the nature of sex can be…and most importantly, how it can be used to your advantage.

To the average person on the street, you may not seem like the super sexual type. You prefer a sophisticated lover to a “cute” one, so people can assume that your standards are too high. And perhaps, your standards are high, because you understand the value of your presence and your time. In fact, you HATE wasting time, so why would you waste time on lovers who don’t bring anything to the table? Sadly, for most of the public, they won’t ever have the experience to be with a Capricorn/10H Mars because quite frankly, they can’t afford it.

Funnily enough, I’m sure as you’ve been reading this, you’re like “dang…am I that shallow?” And the answer is yes and no. You’re shallow because we live in a shallow world– and you know in order to survive it, you have to use what you got to get what you want. The other side of this is, you’re not shallow at all because you are willing to work and discipline yourself and sacrifice for those that you truly care about. There is such a depth to you in the long run, that it makes sense that you make it really difficult for people to get to you. Because you know and I know, once you’ve committed to someone, you’ve committed for as long as you possibly can. Your sexual language is all about stamina and endurance. This is true in and and out of the bedroom. As an earth sign/house, you are a sensual being. You enjoy each and every bit of romance that you can get. A nice meal, some good perfume, dressed to the nines is all considered foreplay to you. You entice your partners with a certain dignified class and only the brave will approach. In your younger years, you could find this extremely frustrating at times because men will really have to get their sh*t together before they can even THINK to approach you on that level. But the more that you use your Mars to get you where you want to be in life, partners will follow behind you and constantly buzz around as if you are the Queen Bee and they are mere workers for your attention.

Funnily enough, you are quite the heart-breaker with this Mars placement. Because you are so focused on your goals outside of love, and yet, you can crave sensual pleasures, you will be very direct with a partner, but they may not be aware of how serious you take yourself. How can this manifest? Let’s say you meet a partner and everything is groovy, but you are working on a big project for work, you’re working on a degree of some kind, or you’ve said you won’t rest until you make partner at the big company…unlike other Mars placements, you won’t let romance sway you or take you off track. You are probably the best example of “right person, wrong time”. You don’t have as much of an issue as other signs walking away from a situation that is distracting you from your more worldly desires. This can leave people utterly confused, because you seem like a perfect partner, but honestly, you’re just not focused on aaaalll the drama that can come with fully committed relationships. People may actually take this energy and say that you’re a player…or worse…a floozy (one of my favorite words lol, definitely needs to make a comeback). You actually aren’t. You will be one of the most committed partners they could find, but if it’s not the right time…it just ain’t happening. So your partners will have to maintain some level of patience or they will miss out. On the other hand, because Mars is a planet of extremes, you may go through periods in life where you are celebate. It may take you awhile to stop channeling that Martian ambitious energy into your career and put it towards your sexuality. That being said, you will enjoy the more sensual side of sex. You could have great stamina and endurance. Because sex may not come around as often as you’d like, you will learn to savor every drop of your partners and please them in a calculated, thoughtful and masterful way! How smeeexxxiiiiiii!!!!!

Mars in Sagittarius or Mars in the 9th House

“I’ve been everywhere, man, looking for someone. Someone who can please me, love me all night long” Where Have You Been by Rihanna

If your natal Mars is in Sagittarius or the 9th House, your sexual language is that of many languages. You fall in love with the exotic, unknown and unexplored. You like your partners like James Bond likes his cars– foreign. You appreciate partners who expand your understanding of reality. Your partners have to expand your mind…and body…into positions that you never thought were possible. If you don’t attract partners who are of a different race, culture or class from you, then you will be attracted to partners who are otherworldly and spiritual or are just as serious about their religious beliefs as you are. Like Mars in Pisces/12H, your planet is ruled by the planet Jupiter, aka Guru. You NEED to learn from your partner. You NEED to explore with your partner. And you NEED to be able to teach your partners something as well. “I wanna know…can you show me…I wanna know about the strangers like me”...It’s giving…Tarzan and Jane. I have Mars in the 9th House, and it has manifested in a very fun way! So with my bias, I believe that this can be one of the more fun placements if you just go with the flow. Unlike other Mars placements, you don’t necessarily feel the need to control your partners. You’d much rather experience them, learn the lesson and move on to the next new shiny thing. Much like your brother, Gemini, you are equally as invested in getting the knowledge and seeking more knowledge. You of all signs are unlikely to overstay your welcome in a relationship. You can come off quite restless and unsatisfied…UNLESS you are just fascinated and enamored with an individual.

You can find yourself attracted to people who have accents, or speak a different language than you. But you will be even more turned on by someone who shares the same religious beliefs as you. You may actually be willing to convert religions for your partner OR, and this is more likely, you have a partner who is a different religion than you are, and instead of being ashamed by it, or making it an obstacle, you embrace it– ultimately respecting their religion, while maintaining the traditions of your own.

You will naturally desire to travel with your partner. Making some of your favorite memories in life when you made-love in some far off land. If the sentence, “I made love to a Frenchman I met while eating a baguette at the local cafe under the Eiffel tower and I’ll never see him again, but he’s the love of my life” turns you on…congratulations, you’re in the right spot.

This Mars placement is fueled by your deepest desire to see the world and its deepest truth, and then just imagine how much you can learn about the world through the lens of an intimate partner. Your sexual language, like I said earlier, involves language in and of itself. You want to hear the stories of distants lands, fascinated by the foreign nature of your divine counterpart. You will want to be intimate with partners who can speak for hours and hours about their adventures and endeavors. You need to be intrigued at the very least.

I also find that with this placement, there may be an age difference in your relationships. You either will be attracted to someone who is much older and wiser, OR, interesting enough, you could find yourself with someone younger. Why is this? You will appreciate a person who still has zest for life. You will be equally attracted to partners who are bright eyed and bushy tailed! Plus, I know I’ve talked a lot about your partner entertaining and teaching you, but the truth of the matter is, you will want to be as much of a sage to your partner as well. You will enjoy teaching them the ways of life and the pursuit of happiness. They will look to you with eyes of wonder as you paint beautifully vivid pictures of your life experiences that have shaped your view of the world.

Another element to this Mars placement, is you are one to challenge authority. This may manifest in your sex language by liking to explore BDSM culture in some way. Because this Mars is all about freedom, you may be turned on by the thought of your partner controlling you…just so you can say no. You can come off as a “well, make me”...kind of lover when it comes to foreplay. You love a challenge and you like partners who challenge you in some way when it comes to living out your sexual fantasies. Another way this may come out is you AND your partner may have a knack for getting into trouble or enjoying sex with some kind of risk involved. You get off being able to sneak away for a quickie. You’ll have sex in the backseat of a car. Joining the mile club is definitely on your bucket list…all the things! Because you are such a rebel, you tell stories that have “normies” clutching their pearls and leave their mouths open. You want to have memorable sex that is worth writing a book about!!!

I can not drive home enough how spiritual your sexual relationships have the potential to be. You are not a shallow lover. You are a lover full of wonder and full of lust…wanderlust…if you will. Sagittarius/9H is a very serious zodiac/house. You're destined to seek truth– so your sexual partners HAVE to enlighten you in some way. You don’t want to get stuck in the mundane, boring stuff of a relationship, (and please, don’t get too carried away, because we do live on planet earth!) you want to experience shrooms, talk about God and make love in the forest! Smexxiiii!!!!

Mars in Scorpio or Mars in the 8th House

“Every breath you take, every move you make, every smile you fake, every single day, I’ll be watching you” Every Breath You Take by Sting

Okay, okay, it would be all too easy to say your love language is stalking, and more stalking and even more stalking, but…that’s only a small fraction of what this Mars placement has to offer. If your natal Mars is placed in Scorpio or in your 8th House, your sexual language is that of raw passion and intensity. That being said, it is also about restraint and self-restriction, and sometimes self destruction. I tend to find Scorpionic energy and 8H energy to be radically internal. You, actually, may not be the most expressive lover. You are more comfortable waiting, studying and planning to pursue a lover, rather than going in full force. Because Mars is your natural ruler, Mars is more than comfortable here, but unlike your brother sign, Aries, you are more of the “planning” part of war, rather than action. This is the strategy of self-defense more than anything. You don’t want to walk into an intimate situation to be intimate yourself, you want to extract vulnerability from your partner like a detective solving a murder crime. Your sex language is more of a riddle than a question. And you would like a partner who intrigues you and leaves a lot of mystery. In my many many years of dating, and many many encounters with Scorpionic energy (I attract them like flies…it’s crazy) I always find that Scorpios are nowhere near as mysterious or hard to figure out as they perceive. Behind all that black and dark stares and gazed is usually a pretty pretty boring, but shy person. There is such a caution with this sign when it comes to acting on those very deep and sometimes all consuming desires, so you are very careful to not put yourself in harm's way. Another hot take that I have on this placement that may seem a bit contradictory to the Scorpionic stereotype is YES YES YES, you are smexxxxiiii and all of the things, but that doesn’t necessarily make you the most sexual person. You take intimacy and sexy very seriously, more seriously than most, because for you intimacy and vulnerability can be used against you and be seen as a weakness, so you are hard pressed to just be going around willy-nilly swinging from partner to partner. You also view sex/intimacy as more of a “power” thing than a “love” thing. And what do I mean by that? You know that deep intimacy and truly being intertwined with another individual gives you an unreal amount of access to that person on a personal and spiritual level. It is always important to remember where Scorpio/8H lines up in the grand scheme of things. It follows the Libra/7H of partnership. The 8H is actually the house that dictates how a relationship will play out. This. Is. Imperative. To understand this placement. You are far more focused on how the partnership plays out, rather than the partnership itself. Again, unlike your predecessor, Libra, who is ruled by Venus and may be more interested in the looks of a relationship and romantic partner. Your sexual language is more interested in the psychology of your partner. You don’t care nearly as much about the outside as you do the inside. What draws you to your partner is a need to access the ultimate truths through your partners. Hence why, you are followed by Sagittarius/9H of Truth and Liberation. Your sex language involves restraint, power and hidden truths.

As I said before, it may be really difficult for you at times to truly connect with your partners because your energy can demand sooooo much from them. You will require partners to go through such depths in their relationship with you, that they may not be able to handle it. And on the other side of that, you may stay away from relationships because you may mistakenly feel like it brings out some of your “worst” qualities. With this Mars, you may go through a very intense relationship when you’re young, one where you give your all, I mean…you would kill or be killed for those you love, and because that relationship fails, you may never want to experience those types of lows again and stay away. You are one of the most loyal of the Mars placements, so you are very careful to study who exactly you are giving your loyalty to. I recommend with this placement, you may find yourself oddly attracted to Aquarian/11H energy. It sounds weird, water and air, but in this case, Aquarian energy is endlessly fascinating because they are so unorthodox, you will never truly figure them out, so you’re constantly intrigued by them. Aquarians also value loyalty the same way you do. They will allow you the freedom that you need to sit in your own emotions, but value the friendship in such a way, you won’t feel abandoned by them. Even if the people you are attracted to don’t have Aquarius in their chart, I think that quality is something you should consider when looking into intimate partners. It is probably the partner who gives you the most space and it is the hardest to figure out, that will give you the most in life. If you have a partner that is easy to conquer, not only will you be bored, but you can easily slip into those darker energies of control and manipulation to get you way…even when it’s unnecessary.

AAALLLL that said, you are still a hell of a lover! I mean…wow. You intricately know how to please and conquer. You use sex as a language itself when you’re ready and willing. And man, do you have a way with words. You can easily hypnotize a lover to fall under your command, so be careful with this gift. You are more than comfortable in this arena once you move past your fears in the subconscious. You can channel this energy, much like the exalt Mars in Capricorn to succeed with some of your greatest ambitions. You will put your sexual energy into your work and projects in a way like no other! Just don’t take everything so seriously! It’s okay to have a good time. Be intimate and open up some! You’ll enjoy getting your head out of the sand!

Mars in Libra or Mars in the 7th House

“What a rush & what a high, cause when your love don’t fight, smoke gets in your eyes” Smoke In Your Eyes by Skepta, Ossie, Harry Stone

If you came to this section thinking that I was going to talk about how sweet and balanced you are when it comes to your sexual language…THINK. AGAIN. BABE. You are nothing of the sort. Seems contradictory, huh? Because Libra/7H is all about balance, right? Well…not when it comes to this Mars placement.

If you have your natal Mars in Libra or the 7th House, you are quite the spicy lover. To be completely honest, Mars is VERY uncomfortable here. Why? Because Libra is naturally ruled by the planet Venus, which is essentially the opposite frequency of Mars. I like to think of Mars and Venus as the brother and sister planets of the Milky way. Traditionally ruled by Ares and Aphrodite in Greek mythology respectively, they are technically half-siblings. So when you think of this Mars placement, this of how a girlie-girl would feel surrounded by all boys at a football camp. Sure, she may attract a lot of attention and she may have plenty of options…but she will CERTAINLY have to set clear boundaries to command the respect she deserves, as well as deal with the fact that no one around her may have the same interest. See how this can be uncomfortable? It’s not the worst thing to happen, but it can cause you to feel like you have to play the field a little bit differently because of Mars being in the House of Libra.

Okay, so now that we covered why this placement might be different than what you were imagining, let’s get into what this post is actually about!

If you have this natal placement, your sex language is all about breaking up to make-up. Because you’re on this constant quest of seeking balance, YOU will subconsciously or consciously seek chaos in order to regain balance. Your indecisive and somewhat aloof nature in relationships can be a source of frustration when it comes to your sexual expression with your lovers. If you have Mars in your 7H, you genuinely LOVE conflicts and attract conflicts to your relationships. You can be quite passive aggressive, honestly, and stir the pot to get attention. AAALLLL this being said, you still enjoy the finer things and love the idea of love, even though you may not have the most direct way of going about it. Your partners may even find you hard to read, and this can frustrate you, because your wishy-washy-ness is so innate to you, you may have a tendency to think that everyone is as back and forth with decision making as you are.

Ironically, more so than any of the previous placements I have discussed before, I will focus more on what sexual language you like from your partner rather than yourself. Of course, you like good food, good wine, good clothes, good banter, good company…you have Libra, like DUH, but I want to offer a different perspective on this placement.

So when it comes to your partners, you truly like a partner who takes charge, regardless of sex. You crave a level of masculinity and directness in your love language because as I stated earlier, it can be difficult for you to make decisions for yourself. You overemphasize how people will perceive you, and this can cause you to stunt your decision making, so you’ll find yourself craving a partner who can be unabashedly unapologetic in their approach to life. You seek partners who are brave and courageous and you will find yourself testing anyone you fall in love with to see if they have that spark of passion in them. You may find yourself seeking different things from different people, so you may have multiple lovers– and just like how it may take you forever to pick out your outfit in the morning, it may take you forever to figure out what you value in a partner. It is important to note that Libra/7H energy is indeed a masculine energy. I’m sure most would assume it’s feminine because of the “sophisticated” and charismatically social nature usually associated with Libras, but when it comes to sexual relationships, Taurus/2H energy is the feminine side of Venus. Libra energy in this way is more detached than people would think. As stated earlier, because you enjoy dates, chatting, getting to know people, you may be a really good casual dater! This could send mixed messages to potential lovers because you may have never really had any intention of dating them long-term– or, you really just haven’t decided yet. Now are we starting to see how this Mars placement can attract certain conflict? You will desire and crave a partner that can make decisions for you. This may lead to some kinkiness in the bedroom because you’re open to compromise and you can be bossed around in this regard.

Overall your sexual language is complex because of the inherent contradiction of this natal placement. You can make this work in your favor as long as you keep open communication with your partner, even if it’s to tell them that you need some more time before you’re comfortable making any lasting decisions. When you date, you will have to allow your partners to understand your up & down nature. Most people will probably take your pragmatic nature personally, so if you can find a way to channel this into being sexually playful with your lovers, it can be a great way to keep romance fun and interesting. As stated in the beginning, you are most likely to end up in an on-again-off-again kind of relationship because you like for the scales to be tipped, so you can rebalance them. You are far more detached in commitments than most people would assume, so it is essential for you to date like-minded people who understand that your coldness is not a reflection on your feelings. You choose to remain objective in your judgements and seek fairness in your relationships—even if you are the one who was unfair to begin with! Kiss it kiss it better baby!!!!

Mars in Virgo or Mars in the 6th House

“I got commitment issues, but I’m tryna fix that for you…I don’t believe in love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take you serious” Commitment Issues by Central Cee

With Mars in Virgo or the 6th House, you may be surprised to find how non-committal you are when it comes to relationships. Why? Because you find relationships to be impractical. So when it comes to your sexual language, you are quite all over the place. Lovers can find you hard to catch, almost like trying to keep a fairy in a jar. You prefer to flutter around and keep things light in the sexual department. To you, sex can scream responsibility. After all, sex can be a pretty risky and dirty affair. All the fluid exchange and, ultimately, the required vulnerability, can make you quite uneasy. With this Mars placement, you can go between the two extremes of putting too much emphasis on sex or not enough emphasis at all. This is due to the natural ruler of Virgo/6H being Mercury, which, I find to be, an asexual planet. You are more interested in the intellectual connection than the physical connection.

BUT PLEASE, don’t get me wrong! You know you’re way around the bedroom. Your sexual language is constantly evolving. You do well with long-term partners that you can trust, study and get to know. You prefer a lover that is loyal, so you don’t have to worry about where they’ve been, or better yet, who they’ve been with. You find joy in repetition with one partner. OR, you are really open to “protected” one-night stands. You are either all in or all out. You don’t like to waste time on sexual relationships that you don’t see a return for a long-term investment. That being said, if you are unable to invest in the long-term, you can find yourself in a position of sexual frustration. You may really desire a person, but because of your deep need for perfection first, you may stall connections & find a lot of pleasure in masturbation for the time being. You, like your opposite sign, Pisces, can really get into your fantasies. You may find that erotica and romance novels can be great resources to pass the time while you likely toil between celibacy and being a whore (this is particularly funny to me because Virgos are known for being the Virgins of the zodiac– hence the contradiction in Mars in Virgo. The planet of sex and desire ruled by a “Virgin” is, uh….a difficult juxtaposition to say the least.) – again, it’s all about mental stimulation with you.

When you do meet a partner that you can FINALLY settle down and feel comfortable with, you will be a very giving lover. Because Virgo energy is usually associated with servitude, you better believe that you will make it your duty to service the object of your affection. You care very deeply about the satisfaction of your partner— far more than you care about your own. As stated earlier, you don’t mind finishing up solo as long as your partner is satisfied. You will find every nook and cranny, every deep desire, every love spot that your partner has, because you will analyze their body with astute detail. You will break your partner’s sexual language down and adapt it to be your own, because after all, you are a mutable sign. As well as being an earth sign, you do have a very deep sensual nature to you. Although you can come across as quite guarded with new partners, once you blossom, you really enjoy heavy petting and physical touch. You can spend so much time in your head and alone with your thoughts in other aspects of your life, you may find it very powerful to have a partner that literally grounds you and brings you back to planet Earth by holding you in their arms. Again, after you’ve bent over backwards (pun intended) to please your partner, you, more than any other sign, except maybe Leo, really needs to be acknowledged and celebrated for your hard work. You don’t take kindly to being undervalued or under appreciated when it comes to your romantic relationships in this context.

Believe it or not, this placement can actually be quite kinky! Why? Because of the influence of Mercury again. As stated before, you want to learn your partner’s as well as you possibly can to make sure you are seen as perfect in their eyes– sooooo, that means you’ll have some exploring to do. Mercury is such a curious planet, that it may not be kinky for the sensual pleasures of it all, but it will be interested in testing out sex & kinks for “research purposes”. This can give you a sort of detached feeling when it comes to sex, which may or may not work in your favor– you’re able to disassociate in a way that makes sex almost an out of body experience…it may take you some time to actually feel pleasure from sex. You are so focused on the other and pleasing your partner, you can forget that sex is supposed to be a two way street! I just want to reiterate, that this placement is so mutable, that you may find yourself pretty ambivalent towards sex at different times in your life. You’re kind of like “eh”. But there is hope, when you find a partner that lights your fire– you will find yourself wanting sex like a child wants candy! There is plenty of potential here for a beautifully active and engaging sex life– it just may take more time to develop than others.

Learn your own kinks! Have fun! Explore the more sensual side of life for yourself!

Anyone who is able to win you over (which is NOT an easy feat by any means) will be able to revel in the fact that you are such a wonderful lover! But don’t forget, sex is not a test that you can get an A + in, it’s supposed to be the culmination and celebration of it all!

Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House

“She may be the queen of hearts, but I’m the queen of your body parts” - Cockiness, Rihanna

If you have Mars in Leo or Mars in the 5th House, you are Britney Spears, all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus, bay-bee. You LOVE to put on a show. Your sexual language can make love-making a spectacle! You’re over the top, you’re loud, you roar. You LOVE LOVE LOVE the attention. So much so, you may not even need sex to fulfill that internal desire for you. Huh? What do I mean? I mean, you may be satisfied using your creative gifts for sexual gratification. Chances are with this placement, you are highly creative and charismatic. You find sensual pleasure in being able to share your creative gifts with other people. Haven’t you heard of entertainers saying they had so much fun on stage, it was orgasmic? That’s where you come in.

Ironically, I don’t naturally find this placement to be the most sexual. Don’t get me wrong, you are DOWN DIGGITY for a good time, but you really use sex as an ego booster. You may even be quite lazy in the bedroom. You could easily live by the code “my present is my presence” and be a dazzling pillow princess. This isn’t a bad thing, and it definitely doesn’t have to be the case all the time! When you’re turned on, you’re turned on, but when you’re just casually engaging in sex, or are in a long-term commitment, you may feel like sex is something that is owed to you. Not in a weird entitled way, but more like a Queen sitting on a chaise lounge being fed grapes– like, “duh, you should have sex with me, I’m beautiful”, type energy. This, if you haven’t been able to guess already, can lead to a selfish attitude in the love-making department. You must remember that sometimes, your partner wants to be catered to as well. That being said, you won’t shy away from Valentine’s Day. You are the type to go all out! You’ll put on the lingerie. You’ll lay out the rose petals on the bed. You’ll pay extra for that honeymoon suite. OR, you will expect your partner to do all of this without you asking. You treat holidays and sex as if it’s a royal affair.

Due to your standards being so high, I cannot express to you enough that you may really put all your sexual energy into your creative pursuits until you find a lover of high-value and high sex drive. You love and somewhat need to feel desired in order to break down your walls. You don’t play hard to get– you ARE hard to get, so this may leave you with extended periods of non-sexual activities. You are more than willing to give up sexual pleasure for your own personal pursuits– in fact, you are more likely to do that if you have specific career goals.

You may be a tad bit surprised at my interpretation of Mars in Leo, perhaps you were assuming it would be a bit spicier, but I challenge you to look at your ruler, the Sun (yes, the actual burning ball of fire in the sky) . Not literally…well, you can, but make sure you wear sun-glasses. But in all seriousness, the Sun shines alone. The Sun is too hot to let anything near it, and it carries such a gravitational pull, that things simply orbit around it, but can never get too close. With Mars in Leo/5th House, you may find yourself in this position when it comes to your sexual nature. You attract a lot of people towards you, but they are unable to get too close, for fear they will burn up in your presence. Or, you shine so bright, you are forced to do it alone. Being the Sun and the center of the Universe is a hard job, but ultimately an isolating job. Your being, your creative gifts, your star power and the way you shine can cast such a shadow on those who dare come near you. It really can be one of the most challenging placements because you probably won’t understand why people can’t/don’t come near you. Again, you’re just soooo great, people can have an overwhelming and unrealistic ideal of what it will take to make you happy. It’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s flattering, but on the other hand, you can suffer from being put so high up on a pedal stool that you never asked for!

One tip for you, is to keep your hair beautiful and lushes! People will be attracted to your wild side and want to bring that out of you. You can either really love having your hair pulled or be turned off by it because you spend so much time making it look perfect. Either way, your hair may be an essential part of foreplay for you and something that suitors may find undeniably sexy.

As long as you are mindful to share the spotlight from time to time and not always prioritizing your needs & your desires, you can be a remarkably loyal partner. Fierce is the word that comes to mind and you can be very fierce in the bedroom. (When you want to be.) You can outshine any of the competition. Most people truly can’t hold a candle to you when it comes to how committed you are in an intimate relationship. You are proud and you protect those that are around you and that you deem worthy. You have a royal air that surrounds you and it loudly and proudly screams `bow down bitches' when it's time to get down and dirty!

Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th House

“Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane” Born to Die- Lana Del Rey

If you have Mars in Cancer or Mars in the 4th house, ironically, your sex language involves a knack of overwhelming emotional destruction. Dramatic, yes, yes, I know, but very true. Mars is VERY uncomfortable in the deep waters of Cancer/4H. Mars in the 4th House, in particular, is a naturally difficult placement because it sits in the House of happiness, as well as aspects the 7th House of partnership and the 11th House of friendship– making that native, uh, a little difficult to deal with. Why? Because your emotions can be so erratic and illogical, it can be difficult for people to understand what you want. Heck, you probably don’t understand what you want most of the time. I promise I’ll get to the good stuff, but keep in mind that this Mars placement is in detriment! (It’s exalted in Capricorn, the opposite sign.) So when it comes to your sexual language, you value such a deeply emotional commitment from your partner, you could constantly try to test them by pushing their emotional boundaries.

There is a mixture of pleasure and pain. You love an emotional outburst– this can be good and sexy, or bad and scary. Emotionally bonding make-up sex, is your cup of tea…ESPECIALLY if you are the one who caused the “break-up” in the first place. You truly enjoy engaging with your partner in a loving way, when you can, but because Mars is so unstable here, it can be hard for you to maintain emotional consistency within long-term relationships. You can find that your passions wax and wane for your partner. Sometimes, you just want to run into their arms and kiss them in the pouring rain, other times, you want them to LEAVE YOU DAFUQ ALONE. This can be quite jarring to your intimate partners, but also to yourself. I recommend embracing this quality and being as honest as possible! Instead of literally creating a sh*t storm in order to be left alone, just communicate to your partner that you need a little space from time to time. But also be willing to give your partner that same courtesy and grace if they ask for the same.

You can feel a need to wrap yourself up in your partner's desires. It may come from a genuine place, but because Mars is an aggressive planet, you may be quite aggressive in how you demonstrate your love to your partner because your deepest desire is to be able to emotionally control them. This can manifest in an extremely emotionally manipulative way through passive aggressiveness and just causing overall uneasiness within your dynamics and partnerships. One of the lovely sides about this particular placement, is when you mature, you can have an extremely high emotional I.Q. Because you are naturally very sensitive to your surroundings, you can literally sense the emotional and physical needs of your partner without them having to say a word. You can be so emotionally intune with your lovers, it can feel like telepathy if they need anything from you. You just know, y’know?

In the bedroom, you can go from one extreme to another. Sometimes you want to be dominant, and sometimes you want to be dominated. It is important for your lovers to be able to ride your waves and learn what is needed from them at any given moment. Again, Mars is all about conquest. So when Mars is in the 4H in particular, you want to be able to be the leader in your home, but you also want someone who can take the reins when necessary. Again, this can be a difficult balance to strike within your sexual relationships because people may not understand the method behind the madness, typically because there really isn’t a method…it’s just kind of madness AND THAT’S OKAY!

Because Mars is so uncomfortable here, it is imperative for you to be able to channel your energy in creative ways or you can fall victim to your own emotional tirades. You want a clear line of communication with anyone you are interested with and they absolutely need to have some emotional intelligence or else they will drown in your water. You don’t want to suffocate your lovers with so much emotional intensity, that you both are unable to remain somewhat grounded in the chaos. You of all people understand just how powerful emotions and sex can be together, so be careful to use it wisely!!! When done right, you can have anyone wrapped around your finger.

Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House

“Talk is cheap my darling, when you’re feeling right at home. I wanna make you move with confidence. I want to be with you alone” Talk is Cheap by Chet Faker

If you have Mars in Gemini or Mars in the 3rd House, then you are all about an intellectual connection when it comes to your sexual language. You want to catch viiibbbeezzz. You want to be razzle-dazzled with the lingo. You want someone hip, cool, in the know…because, well, you’re hip, cool & in the know, y’know? It’s only fitting that your partner be the same. You, of all placements, may truly crave “your other half”. And I know, I know, we live in a world now, where people are saying “you are a whole person and you’re looking for another whole person yadayadayada…”, but you’re a TWIN. You want to be able to connect with someone as if you share the same brain, the same thoughts, the same…everything. This isn’t to say that you’re not sexual…you just enjoy mental jousting for foreplay. Think of how beautiful the dance between two evenly matched fencing partners is– the ebb and flow of tension – playing both parts of the aggressor and the defender– gliding almost effortlessly with a weapon in hand. It’s like the tango…but with swords. That’s how you envision your love. Beautiful art, yet dangerous. You may not be the most sensual lover at first, but in time you will certainly warm up. Why? Because at the very least, you are a curious partner! You. Want. To. Explore. You may be the type of lover to want to try almost anything once. You want to be surprised. You don’t want your bedroom to be boring. You resent repetitiveness and you welcome new experiences. You may even fall into the “switch my wig, make ‘em feel like he cheating” category. You like to switch up your look, your style…sexual positions (lol). This can even translate into role play! (Especially teacher/student).

I cannot express to you enough how much learning from your partner turns you on. You love asking questions & consider getting to know someone a conquest. The more difficult the puzzle, the more you yearn to solve it and this type of stimulation oozes over into your sexual pleasure. You’re curious to know what your lover’s love. You can have an objective perception of sex, because you aren’t the most naturally emotional person, so you can look at the love making process as getting to know every nook and cranny of a partner’s body– learning what makes them tick & “ick”. You become more emotionally open with a partner, the more confident that you are that you know them. You like learning, but you don’t like unpleasant surprises. This may be counter intuitive, but I find that after you go through your “lemme try any & everything era”, you will genuinely enjoy one partner. It will make you feel secure and like you have that missing piece in life. You don’t come across as the most committal type, but when you do commit, you commit fr fr, you just need a certain level of freedom in life to continue to expand your horizons far past the mundane in life.

Another element you may add to your sexual reservoir is……drugs. “DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDS & STAY IN SCHOOL”...alright, there is my disclaimer. Now back to what I was saying, you may be curious to try mind-expanding drugs & smex. Because you can be so cerebral, drugs like ecstacy can help you actually feel your body. The tingle will start from your subconscious mind, and venture into your conscious body, possibly making love-making a more pleasurable experience. If this doesn’t interest you, don’t worry, no pressure! Just making a note that this placement is more likely to think outside of the box when it comes to making their sex lives thrilling and exciting! Not saying that vanilla sex is boring…just saying in general. You do you!

Overall, this is a curious placement. It’s a fun placement, but it can be an extremely flighty placement in the beginning. Don’t let your fear of getting stuck, stop you from finding a true partner that you can really see the world with. You can find that “other half”, that “twin soul” that really knows how to light a fire in you and warm your cold cold cold gemini heart. In your moments of passion, you will prefer to keep things fun and light. Only when someone truly captures your mind, can they capture your body and soul! SEXYYYYYY!!!!

Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House

“People stop to ask me, how do you please your man? Take it from the black sheep baby, any way I can. Sometimes it’s with fire and sometimes, with ice…Just don’t get it twisted, his body’s gunna pay the price.”

- Rock My Boy’s Body by Joseph Stephens

If you have Mars in Taurus or Mars in the 2nd House your sexual language is about sensuality, sexuality, & seduction. You believe in making love an all encompassing experience and you will stop at nothing to make sure your partners have an all exclusive pass to your BO-DAY. IF it is earned. Because Taurus is naturally slow moving energy, you may be slow to open up. As I’ve studied astrology for years now…I’ve come to realize that Taurus energy is just as private and cautious and it’s opposite sign, Scorpio. If you have this placement, you feel the need to study your lovers and you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait before you make your move. But if you are able to wrap them in your warm embrace…you won’t want to let go and they won’t want you to either.

Like Leo, when it comes to your sexual language, you believe in putting on a show. But your show is subtle, quaint and slow burning. You will have the candles burning, the scented lotion and fresh out the shower smell, you will have the most luxurious sheets on the most comfortable mattress. You don’t believe in cutting corners when it comes to your comfort and whoever is lucky enough to wind up in your bed, simply gets to enjoy how you live your life. I could bet you have an impeccable taste in music and truly know how to set the tone when it comes to seduction. As stated before, you are able to create a world of pure pleasure for those you love and make them spell-bound to you, because chances are, they haven’t been able to match with a sexual partner who cares so much about the details of ALL 6 senses. (I’m including intuition because, y’know, I’m a tarot and an astrology girlie.) For example, I dated this guy with heavy taurus placements a few years ago. I very much remember and very much miss this awesome TV room that he made for himself. Instead of having a regular degular couch, he had a couch that was also a bed. It wasn’t a couch that converted into a bed….it was just a couch that had a bed in it…and massive 70 inch television mounted on the wall. When I TELL you, I wanted to marry that man because….UGH!!! I was so comfortable! I could melt into the floor when I was with him. And I have YET to be with anyone who has a room set up quite like that. The feeling has stayed with me long after we have been together. THAT is what I mean by the power of Mars in Taurus. It lingers when you’re done!

On the other side, you of all signs, can be extremely jealous and possessive over your sexual partners. You DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE. AT. ALL. The 2nd House is all about owning and possessions and you may take this mindset with you into your romantic relationships. To the right person and in a healthy way, this can be enduring and make your partner feel safe and secure in your presence. In turn, you also want to know that your partner is crazy about you and cares deeply about your well-being. Again, in a healthy dynamic, a little jealousy and possessivness isn’t bad. It can show that someone does have an interest in you and takes pride in the fact that they are able to claim you as their own. This is just something to be mindful of in this placement, because if underdeveloped, it can lead to issues of selfishness & strong resistance to allow your partner’s freedom. Of course this can bleed over into the bedroom as well. You don’t want to get so focused on your own comfort that you end up putting your partner into a routine that they no longer enjoy. Your favorite position may not be their favorite positive. It can feel like eating lobster every single day. Like, yeah, Lobster is great day 1, maybe even day 2, but by day 5….yuck. Depending on other placements in your chart, you may attract partners who are very much like you, in the sense they prefer routine, OR you may attract partners who are so wild and out of the box, it forces you out of your comfort zone. All I can do is say embrace whatever floats your boat.

There is no doubt that you are one of the most sexual, sensual and passionate lovers of the zodiac. Your innate knowledge of pleasure makes you an expert in the bedroom and you can be hard to beat. Although it may take you a while to warm up, either physically or emotionally, you eventually show your partners that it is absolutely worth the wait! Because you tend to be safe and secure in yourself (the 2nd house rules self esteem) you share that safety and extend your protection to those you love the most. Your sexual language is unforgettable. You know how to love someone head to toe! WOOOOO!!!

Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House

“Dollhouse, dressed up, perfect messed up, Torture me to sleep, paint the air I breathe. Fishbowl, chokehold, dirty water, I’m cold. Dirty as can be, have your way with me.” Dollhouse (with Lily Rose Depp) by The Weeknd

If you have Mars in Aries or Mars in the 1st House, your sexual language is intense & powerful. You have a way of pulling people into your orbit just by being your unapologetic self! The force is with you! Best believe! And people feel it. You get what you want and you want what you get and you have a way of luring in your prospective sexual partner by projecting your lust onto them– so much so they feel it when they walk by you. Much like your sister, the Mars ruled Scorpio, there is a carnal desire that surrounds you. It’s magnetic. It’s magnificent. And it’s very fleeting.

When it comes to your bedroom pleasures, you can be a pioneer of the “Wham! Bam! Thank you ma’am or…sir” (not as cute of a rhyme) mindset. You may have a habit of treating your lovers like conquest– wanting to overpower them and wrap them up in your passionate fantasies. You deeply enjoy power play in your sex life. Yes, you could easily be the dominant one in your relationships, BUT you could also seek refuge in being submissive to your partner. How? I know it seems contradictory. But chances are, with this placement (unless it’s in a water sign in your first house) you are more than likely the boss and the leader in your everyday life…so when it comes to sex, you may want to just “relax” and let your partner do all the hard work for once. If that’s the case, you may be a bit of a brat in the bedroom because you still like to challenge your partner for shizz & giggles, but you are certainly fun and definitely unforgettable.

Your sex language is raw and real. You don’t like to hold back your passion and you appreciate a partner who can match your enthusiasm in the bedroom. You love the runner chaser dynamic, and again, you can easily play both parts. You are strong and competitive and don’t like to lose the interest of your lovers, even though you can get bored pretty easily. You may prefer quickies over long drawn up love sessions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to indulge your sinuses from time to time– you’re just not one of the most lovey dovey of the zodiac and prefer loud, wild, hot, steamy sex opposed to soft caresses and whispers of sweet nothings. You may also be a person who uses sexy time to advance a certain agenda. You could use sex as a tool of manipulation to get what you want. That may seem extreme, but think about a stripper using her sensuality as a means to make money so she can pay her way through law school. THAT’S what I mean. Because you may not be so shy about your sex appeal, if used correctly, it can be your weapon of choice when it comes to getting what you want from someone.

Passion matters to you more than most. You would prefer a risky lover than a predictable one. You also may be a fan of the ole’ break up to make-up trope. Make-up sex is always better. And you don’t mind starting a fight in the streets, simply to uh…you know…end it….in the sheets…..if you catch my drift. You aren’t one for subtleties. You are probably one of the most straightforward and upfront people in the world and you may play shy, but once you allow a person to get to know you, you don’t hold anything back. Because you are a cardinal energy, you always have a childlike flair to you! You keep things interesting and youthful. You’re not afraid to cross boundaries and push the limits of yourself & your partner in the midst of a sexual act. You really may think that sex is something that can be “won”. You want to be the best. You want to be the one that lovers can’t get enough of. You don’t appreciate being compared to others and honestly hear partners talking about their past as if it was some sort of challenge. You definitely have a jealous and possessive streak, but like I always say, when this is a healed energy it can be enduring to the right partner. As long as it’s not obsessive and unhealthy, you can provide comfort to your lovers that you are there for them and only them. You expect loyalty in return, of course, but you don’t mind protecting and defending what you see as your own. Your love is real. Your love is honest. Your love is young and wild and free!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru & @lesmiserablol <333

tagging (with no pressure): @beachytablecloth, @fabro-de-omres, & @milf-harrington (so sorry if you've already been tagged!)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

69 which... is honestly more than i was expecting? i think it helps that my goal is to post a fic once a month mostly bc that's my motivation to keep writing even when i'm busy/stressed!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,183 - omg i am SO CLOSE to 400k ahhhhhhhhh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

uhhhhhhh many??? right now, it's a lot of bsd/bnha, but it's always a plethora of things, haha! my first was prolly ninjago tbh

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

hey, little songbird, give me a song

you never quite say (but i hear)

lost in love and lost in feelings

Deeper Than Words

for a new world to begin, the old one must fall

okay the #1 for that is honestly so real that is one of my absolute favorite things i've written EVER lol, same with #2! the rest are... idk #4 is AWFUL - like one of my first atla fics and also my first time writing a ts fic (i have gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT IT NOW)

*note: i started this in like nov or early dec, and #5 changed! it was the zukka goose fic but now it's actually one of my favorites iugytfyhujiko

5. do you respond to comments

i used to be good at it. then i got stressed bc of school. and then i was suddenly like "uhhhh idk How to respond???" i think the thing that got me was i didn't know how to reply to the distressed comments on my sokka falling fic so i just. accidentally stopped.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh here in the garden (let's play a game) 100% rip to sokka sorry babes ilysm hate to do it to ya, love the angst tho <333 rip to everyone who missed the major character death tag lol. well... that or a spring and summer song, too brief rip to geto in the +1 oops... oh shoot... it could also be take me where my soul can run... hm...

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this was hard, but imma go with i was a child and she was a child bc it's based on one of my favorite childhood memories! rip to zuko and his ice cream tho :/ but azula is VIBING the whole time oiuygfcgyhuij

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really? i did once have someone try to correct me and say that i wrote sokka with ocd instead of tourette's but it was in the bookmarks and it made me laugh lol. i also got this comment on my kubokai kaidou with ts fic: ".. the self projection is heavy in this one ... -_-" so idk if that counts lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope :)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

uhhhh not really? i wrote ninjago equestria girls crossover oneshot in middle school but i never finished it and it SUCKED lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of?

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

uhhh i wrote a 7,600 word fic in three hours while i had covid? that's prolly the shortest? i count that as shorter than anything i may have finished faster bc i had covid lol but longest? ummmm over a year? multiple years? idkkkkkk the jay with ts fic i posted was something i wrote in 2019 and i edited it (a lot) and posted it in 2022 so??? that maybe?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

uhhh i did with friends in middle/high school, but those never left the docs! also grace and i have. very many much so aus lol

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

RARIJACK!!! it was one of my first hardcore ships, and also was my introduction to queer ships!!! renga is a close second, but rarijack just is really important and special to me for sentimental reasons that put it above renga and others! i am also on a seroroki kick right now. it's not my all-time favorite, but the brain rot seems never ending right now lol

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

GOD SO MANY i have a folder in gdocs just for ninjago fics and there are folders within the folder for different types of wips i'll never finish - i have That many: "no substance", "baby girls", "drafts"... etc...

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh ngl i'm in a place right now where i feel like the answer is Nothing (writer's block has been Bad recently), but i think something i'm good at in a very specific way is making readers feel the discomfort of characters? like idk i've been told that the way i write ts and tics (specifically tic attacks) makes the readers feel uncomfortable in like a "wow i didn't know it felt this way" kind of way??? i like to think i'm good at characterization??? idkkkk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

ummm setting and scenery & connecting parts of a story, especially if they're parts that i'm stuck on/transitions are prolly my biggest ones???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean go for it as long as it's respectful and like... you tried making sure it's accurate?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

uhh rainbow fairy/a-z mysteries... but that was like very briefly on paper. first time like... for Realsies was ninjago

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh 100% hey, little songbird, give me a song. it's just really special to me and writing it helped me cope with a new tic i had. but one that i wrote more recently is fantasies i'm not sure that i'm worthy of which is a ritsu-centric fic and is prolly tied as my favorite fic i wrote in 2023. the other one would be sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) which is my 21k word kenji-centric fic lol but that one is like... i'm more proud of it than anything, which is what puts it up there.

[weebnotheree]

꧁༺♡⚜『𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝟚 - 𝑀𝑟. 𝐶𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟』⚜♡༻꧂[PT4]

ok so i just noticed while righting this, u were married to him and you still have the ring BUT i keep saying L/n instead of Crystal. But imma keep calling you L/n for now.

ENJOY!

•♫•♬♡• 𝙑𝙤𝙩𝙚 + 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 - 𝙁𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 •♡♬•♫•

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

"No!" The gazelle told them. 

"No? What do you mean, "no"?"he asked confused.  

"For the last time, sir, no appointment, no entry!" 

"Ummmm-" "Sir, do I need to call security?"  (Y/n saw the glass behind the lady. It said Crystal entertainment. Her ears went down a little. But after the lady caught an attitude and said u should, her head snapped up)

Rosita stepped in. "We should go" "Yes, you should"they started walking walking away but looked back seeing Y/n didn't. "Y/n? Are you okay?" she asked. Y/n was unhappy. "Excuse me. {"Yes Miss?"} I'll have you know, we came here for for an important audition. Which means?" she motions her hands at the lady. "You have an appointment. But ma'am-" "I want you to let us in. [glares]I should fire you for your rude welcoming" "Y-yes Miss-" "Mrs. L/n!"she growled with her ears folding down. People in the line gasped before smiling. Moon and the rest were shocked. "Buster"

"Yes?"he questioned jogging up to her. "Why are you here again?" "Well to spread our theater magic" "No. Why're you really here?"  staring at the lady dead in the eyes.

He thought then said. "To carry on my father's theater"

She smiles and her mood changes. "On second thought i will fire you. Come on guys!"  she said walking the opposite way they were going. She kept walking and for a second they stood there amazed before running after her. No sneaking in this time, we got Y/n U^U.

They rushed to the area. Backstage. "Hey, Y/n I never asked. Do you think you could also sing and audition?"Moon asked. "U-um..I dont know. I dont wanna take you guy's spotlight. Uh?! No offense or anything!-" You kept rambling on to not be in the situation....You saw him..you could smell his cologne..his scent before they even looked through the curtain. The others looked at each other worried. "Is it me or is she nervous?"Johnny whispered to them. 

The girls walked up to her. "It's okay, you dont have to be nervous" Rosita said as they placed a hand on her shoulder and back for comfort. "Dont you did these kinds of things?" Johnny asked. "Y-yeah but..this is different[shakey breathe]" "Dont worry, I've been there before. And as I sang I was able to sing how I wanted" Meena reassured.  They all hugged her as she bit her lip and calmed down a little...you didn't think he'd actually be here here.. *face palms* 

Moon went over and peaked his head out as they all went to see too. Y/n walked a little and could see through a little crack between the friends....You felt so many emotions just being here and seeing him again. He was being so..relentless..and cold to them. They were so good. They all got red buzzers. He sat at the edge of his seat rolling his shoulders and growled. "Garbage" [ERRRRRR]

Mr. crystal threw his hand up before covering his face disappointed and annoyed before pacing.

"Okay, everybody, if you can leave immediately, single file, we'd appreciate that. [the contestants w/ disappointed sighs]Thank you very much" Jerry walked his way not paying attention becasie the was looking at his ipad. He bumped into Crystal causing him to clench his teeth. "Jerry for the love of..."

"Sorry sir"

"[looks around w/ hands up]What? Where's the next group, Jerry? Why am I standing here waiting?" he questioned causing Jerry to stammer. "How about I... I just... I just, uh-"

"Be useful or be gone, okay?[then mumbles something]"

"Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir" Just as Y/n also peaked through, Jerry saw he..well Moon too. He pointed to them which caught Buster off guard because his eyes were following Crystal. "Um, okay. Um, you. Hey. Hey. Yeah, you. Little guy, you're here for the audition?" "Umm, yes. Yeah, yeah, yes, we are. Guys, we're on right now"

"Now" Meena questioned along with other gasping. [Rosita, Ash, Y/n]"What?" 

They go out and Moon takes the mic off its stand tapping it. Y/n didn't go out she was too nervous...scared. 

"Your name? Hey, your name, please?"

"Uh, it's Buster Moon from the New Moon Theater. And we're very excited to share our story with you today, sir. Right, guys?"

"Yeah, great. Now, get to it" Crystal told him, sitting down with his coffee. "Wait. Where's Y/n?"Ash asked and the rest heard her. They looked over at the backstage curtain. "I'll go get her"Rosita said. 

She saw you pacing back and forth. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean i can't do this"

"Yes, you can. This is a big opportunity-" "An opportunity i can do anytime" silent for a second. "I-i...I can't go up there...I've performed here many times but...i cant do this now...not after i left..them" she was shaking. Rosita held the sides of her arms to stop it, and comfort her ----- meanwhile 

"What's the big hold up?" Crystal said before taking a sip of his coffee. "U-um, sorry sir. The other one was too nervous to come out. "Well hurry up, i ain't got all day" he told them

"Yes, yes. Right away" Moon said as they walked out from the curtains. Rosita walked beside her with a hand on her back telling her things for comfort while she nodded. Crytall looked at her mysteriously.. Rosita grabbed her hand.

"Um, we'll let our first member go first" you gasped and lookeed at him. Then Rosita. She nodded. You nervously sighed. They stood aside on stage and grabbed the mic Moon was giving you. He whispers. "Just sing" (sorry about this song if you dont like it. If you dont, pick something else to sing and soft. Plpl hatin' on it but idc its anime -.-)

[Provided to YouTube by Milan - Gales of Song (English Version) · Belle]

♪"La-la-la~"♪ she looked at Moon.

♪"La-la-la, la-la...~"♪ he smiled and motioned her to keep going.

She closed her eyes. ♪"Gales of song, guide me through the storm~"♪ Crystal uncossed his leg and sat up straight.

♪"On the wings of a small, simple melody"♪

♪"Words take flight and soar"♪

♪"They carry me, a world we'll see~"♪

♪"Looking for a farewell, I pull the threads~"♪

♪"A life without you I cannot accept"♪

♪"I can't tell that lie, I can't let go"♪

♪"But now that you're gone, I have to move on"♪ 

♪"Seems like everyone just smiles staring at the sun"♪

♪"But what about me? Tell me how I will know where I should go?"♪ 

♪"Oh gales, you sing and guide me!"♪

♪"I walk alone, there's more to life I have to know"♪ 

♪"It's just me, lost so far away from home"♪ 

♪"Alone I shut my self in"♪

♪"Still the winds howl, they call and their voices lead me"♪

♪"Gales of song, guide me through the storm"♪ 

♪"Let the melody[sings high] lift me high, I'll be me!"♪ Everyones eyes widen and Crystal was surprised.

You take a breathe. ♪"Gales of song~...please stay by my side...~"♪

♪"Winds of love, breathe into my life~"♪ Sinlence. .  .  .

Some peole that were in there were sitting silently listening to your beautiful voice shocked. .  . . One started clapping slowly..then another. And more faster. Then everyone clapped and cheered. Crystal looked you up an down like yea..yea..nodding with his hand over his mouth. Thats the talent he's looking for(while the others hugged you aka group hugged u). 

"Oh so..um..now that its our turn. We'll go"

"Yeah yeah yeah right that down"Crystal whisper yelled to Jerry still staring at her in amazment not looking away.  "Go ahead"

He truned to them and whispered. "Okay, guys, just like we rehearsed" turns back and points sover to Miss Crawly. She plays the drumbeat intro to 'Lets Go Crazy' "This is the story of an ordinary high school girl who discovers-" [EERRRRRRR] "Stop"

Jerry looked at his boss "Stop? [looks at them]He wants you to stop" "Ordinary and school. Two words I will never be associated with" [Jerry]"Never. Never"

"Where the heck did you dig these guys up from, huh?"he sighed frustradedly. "If you could all leave very quickly, we'd appreciate that, please"Jerry told them. "I need big shows, Jerry. Big ideas!" "Yes, sir, big. The biggest!"

Gunter raised his hand smiling. "Hey, I have a big one" Rosita went back and grabbed his hand dragging him away. "Okay, honey. Come on, let's go" He loked at her "You know, the sci-fi musical. That's big, right?"

"Um, uh..-" Jerry trying to get his attention but he keeps talking. "I mean, it's got the aliens and the robots and the lasers and these amazing songs from, like, Clay Calloway to-" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Clay Calloway? [chuckles] I love Clay Calloway" Moon Chuckled nervously "I know, right? I mean, doesn't everybody?" he said motioning them to come back. 

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, Jerry? This is exactly the kind of big idea I'm talking about. [walks to the stage]" "Yes sir!" He rubbed his hands together. "So, uh... so what's the show called?" He asked Moon.

"What's it called? Um... Gunter, you, uh... you want to... (splutters)...uh, tell Mr. Crystal what it's called?"

"Uh-huh. It's called Out of This World"

"Out of This World"he copied in surpised by the name.

"That's right. Just imagine it. Ash?"

"Uh, yeah, i got it"she said as she started playing her quitar. "A spectacular musical that takes your audience out of this world" he finished and she started.

♪"I wanna run"♪ she looks over at Johnny. He sings the next ♪"I want to hide"♪ 

[all of them]♪"I wanna tear down the walls that hold me inside"♪

"I love this song"Crystal said smiling looking around, imagining it. The room turned into a galaxy full of stars with planets and moons. This was one of his personal favorites. (pretend y/n's in it) It feature his wife. Calloway and Y/n collabbed together to make it. Her voice was so beautiful and angelic. Ever since she she left..he started listening to it more and more. They were singing the part where Y/n came in at in the song. Y/n was humming but quietly so he woulnd hear her voice or he'd probably know. I mean he hasnt noticed her yet, she does look different.  

♪"I wanna reach out"♪

♪"And touch the flame~"♪

♪"Where the streets have no name"♪

Suki walked in looking at her ipad. "Sir, your lunch meeting with[see's them]Oh, my-" He put his hand out her way. "Not now!" "Moon, how did you get in here?"she quesitioned. "Hey, he said not now. Psst"he said trying to shoo her off. She rolled her eyes "Yeah, I heard him. Thanks, Jerry"

"Are you telling me you-you got Clay Calloway and Y/n's permission to use their song?"

"I mean yeah, Y/n she-" "What if we said we did?"Y/n cut him off stepping in. The group loooked at her confused and Moon looked at her like what. While Crystal walking over to his snack table. "Ah. Okay, so what, you got some kind of personal connection to these two?" eating a whole handlfull of popcorn.

"How else would I get it?" Moon said.

"Moon" Ash whisper yelled. He dusted his hands off and turned to them. "Wait, if you know him, then you could get him in the show, right?[Moon nervously nods][chuckles]Oh, that'd be huge for me. [looks over to y/n grinning]Huge" 

"Sir, I'm sorry, but seriously? You think this little guy from nowhere can get Clay Calloway and Y/n L/n in the show?" she said  as Crystal looked at him crossing his arms. Moon put his hands on his sides. "Well, Suki, for your information, I am not just a little guy from nowhere. Consider it done sir"

Opens double dorrs with them following. "I'll give you three weeks, Moon. Three weeks to get this show up and running, okay?" he says signing something a bodyguard handed him. "Yes, sir. Thank you" "Moon, do you really know Clay Calloway?"Ash asked him he shushed her "Not now"

Now at the top of the building with a helecoptor ready to take off. "Jerry" "Oh! Right here, sir"

"I want these guys to start work right away. Set 'em up with our designers, our dancers, whatever they need. And get 'em rooms at the hotel, okay? The very best suites. The whole shaboodle" "Yes, sir. Yes, of course" Crystal turned to Moon pointing. "Uh, hey, one last thing.

Don't you ever do nothing to make me look bad. You got that?" "Oh, I will never let that happen, sir"he smiled. "You better not, or I'll throw you off the roof[Moon nervously laughs]Great job, everyone. Take it away, Raoul" he said to the bodyguard cheetha getting in the plane. As it lifted and flew away the air pushed Jerry back causing him to drop his papers. "Oh, my gosh. Is this really happening?!" Rosita exclaimed. 

Gunter jumped and hugged her. "Yeah! We're playing Redshore City, baby!" "Yes we are, Gunter!"Jognny says excitedly. "Gunter, sci-fi musical? You're a genius!" "Yeah, well, Mama always said, "Gunter, you're not as stupid as your papa."" "No your not!" Moon exclaimed as they were all heading totheri hotel room. "Hey, Suki. No hard feelings, huh?"

"You have no idea what you're getting into"she said walking a little faster.  Ash pulled him to the side. "Whoa" "Are you out of your mind?" "What?" 

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

Alright goodnight -.- moring now bc its 1 in the morning for me almost 2 and i have to wake up at 9 and i want so sleep so..im sleepy..over here falling asleep And if i dont updat anytime tomorrw and days on, its bc i had to go in the livingroom every day now so. And i'd be too tired to write at 11:55pm soo. BYE! I hope you enjoyed. 

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

[tigerseye46]

Can I get Lego Monkie Kid Sun Wukong x Pigsy with B5, B26 and B88? Please!

Oooooo, new ship! I'm calling it MonkeNoodles or Peachpig unless someone has a better ship name which there probably is. (I am bad with coming up with names.)

B5. “It’s true. I’ve loved you since I got to know you - and even if you don’t feel the same, I’m willing to accept it.” B26. “You’re special to me.” B88. “I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love but now I can’t help it.”

Small S2 spoilers

Pigsy trudged towards the outside area of the Dronecopter, careful to not make any noise. For hours, he had been tossing and turning for hours, not getting a wink of sleep. He thought that maybe some fresh air would help.

During his walk, a myriad of yawns would slip out of his lips, followed by eye rubbing. He took a step outside, beaming as the stars and moon glimmered down on him and the ship. He decided to observe it more by turning his head to the left, he held in a gasp to see Wukong leaning against the railing, still in his regular clothes with his chin tilted towards the sky. The king was illuminated by the moonlight which, in Pigsy’s opinion, made him look even more handsome than he already was.

The pig placed a hand over his heart and noticed how fast it was beating along with how his palms started to sweat, his cheeks began heating up. Why did the king have to look so… so… so cute?

He swallowed roughly, this did not help his feelings, feelings that had developed after their relationship had shifted from arguments to a genuine friendship and understanding. Since then, the king would offer to help him out while cooking, wrapping an arm around him when the chef was about to explode with anger, giving him compliments and smiling at him like he was the most important person in the world. While in turn he had let off Wukong, deciding to place faith in him. They worked well together, their banter filling the air. The king made him feel special.

One day, he made the mistake of confessing all this to Tang who merely cackled, finally putting together why the chef blushed and stuttered around the king, the laughter was followed by teasing on how Pigsy was a big old softie for Wukong.

And he was a softie.

He then told Sandy, revealed to be Sha Wujing, who was fully supportive of the situation and commented how Pigsy would be a good fit for his brother.

While he hadn’t told the kids yet, he suspected they knew based on the way they would giggle any time the two were in the same room together.

Pigsy loved being around Wukong and he made an effort to show his romantic interest in subtle ways. He wasn’t planning on doing anything else, all he wanted to do was show Wukong how much he adored him.

Although recently Wukong had taken to avoiding him, piling excuse after excuse on why he couldn’t be near the pig which resulted in Pigsy’s heart shattering into a million pieces. Maybe the king had caught word of his feelings and wasn’t interested? The king could have at least told him, he would have understood.

A “Pigsy?” snapped him out of his thoughts. His mouth agape as he shyly stared at Wukong. Wukong’s cheeks contained a dust of pink. “What are you doing up? It’s like 3 am,” he said and let out a small chuckle, Pigsy didn’t miss the way Wukong’s hand fidgeted and how his feet shuffled away from him.

Pigsy faked a small smile and waved at the king. “He- hey, Wukong! Could say the same about you. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Couldn’t sleep either,” he confessed while scanning the other, his face becoming a darker pink upon seeing the other’s cute undershirt and shorts, Pigsy felt shy under his gaze. “Ummmm… how come you couldn’t sleep?”

“No reason. Just one of those nights, y’know?” He softly punched Wukong in the arm and laughed softly. “What about you?”

“Thinking a lot.”

“Since when do ya think?”

The monkey rolled his eyes. “I think more than you do,” he teased.

“No, you don’t. I’m the smart one, remember?”

“Uh huh. I’ll let you believe that,” he stated. His tail swished from side to side.

“Well it’s true. Now what are ya thinkin’ about?”

The king rubbed the back of his neck. “Nothing. Nothing you have to worry about.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Wukong… I’m your friend. You can tell me anythin’.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it. It’s my own problem.” He sighed, his fingers tapping against the railing.

“Wukong…” He placed a hand on his arm, pulling it back when the king flinched. “What is it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insisted, his voice a warning to not push further.

The pig’s fists clenched. “How can I not worry when you’ve been avoidin’ me? Did… did I do somethin’ wrong?”

The king’s eyes widened. “No! No! You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s...”

“It’s what? I get it if you don’t like me back but…” He growled under his breath. “CAN YA AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH ME?”

There was a short pause before Wukong broke it with a “What?”

The way Wukong looked at him, told him he was mistaken, oh no, oh no, he didn’t know but it was too late, so Pigsy took in a puff of air and confessed, “It’s true. I’ve loved you since I got to know you - and even if you don’t feel the same, I’m willin’ to accept it.” Wukong wasn’t moving, wasn’t blinking. “Are ya goin’ to say anythin’ at all?” Nothing. That was just as good as a rejection. “Alright, I’m leavin’. Night, Wukong…”

He turned to leave when he was captured in a fierce hug. “No. Stay,” Wukong whispered against his shoulder. “What did you mean when you said you loved me?”

He snorted in response. “Oh come on, Wukong. You’re not an idiot.”

“How long have you felt this way?”

“Awhile” was the answer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you clearly don’t feel the same way. You’ve been avoidin’ me like the plague.”

“That wasn’t why.”

“Why then?”

Wukong cupped his cheek. “Truth is… I have feelings for you too.”

“Yea, right.”

“I’m telling the truth. I love you. You’re special to me. Ever since we began hanging out and I thought more of you, the feelings started popping up. I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love but now I can’t help it.”

“Wukong…”

“That’s why I avoided you. I didn’t ruin what we have. Guess I should have communicated better, huh?”

He let out another snort. “Yea, you should have.”

“Wujing was pushing me to talk to you but I wasn’t sure. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You really need to improve your communication skills though.”

“Heh. I’m trying.”

A small nod. “I know.”

“Soooo… am I allowed to kiss you?”

“Ye-yea!”

Wukong bent down slightly, pressing his lips against the other’s, a slow and passionate kiss filled with so much love poured into it.

When the others woke up later that morning, the two were sleeping on the couch. Pigsy’s head laid on Wukong’s chest, the king’s arms on the pig’s back while Pigsy’s were drooping on the side.

They held in their squeals while Mei took pictures of them. It made for some adorable moments.

[ssreeder]

hello 💖💖💖

for the writers ask game:

1, 11, and 23 (with no pressure to do all of them <3)

1. Where do I write (I answered but I will answer again for you <3) Ummmm I don’t have a desk or anything fancy but I enjoy writing outside during the fall, but usually I write at the table in the kitchen. (Thrilling I know)

11. What is your writing process:

Ok fine, but you asked. *cringe*

(1.) I do not jump around when I write... so I guess step one would be to wrangle my thoughts… I didn’t USED to do outlines, but now that RIA has SOOO many moving parts I did start to outline the chapters to make sure I don’t miss anything. (Which is cool because it means I am adapting and learning) but it starts with a general VIBE I want to capture in my story and then an IDEA of what events will help fuel that vibe. (I have scribbled notes and random thoughts on my phone)

(2.) then I write the damn thing but I don’t stress over small details that aren’t super important right away... so sometimes I am like (add details here) (figure out what the fuck their wearing do descriptions here) (bedroll vs sleeping bag do research) and I write the chapter

(3.) I start editing after that and I do this TWICE… I read through it and add more detailed symbolism, make sure I am not diving TOO deep into anything or being repetitive and make sure the foreshadowing and little details are where I want them. The second edit is the same thing, usually I do it at a different time of day (I have two times during my day I sit down to write) and make sure it reads right and the vibe is there.

(4.) LASTLY I butcher the vibe in my mind by checking for spelling, grammar, and all the other little things that slip past during the editing. (I call this my proofread) you know the little shit like ,,,,,,,,, instead of ….. or HER instead of HIM or THE fire bender instead of HIS fire bender. (The important shit)

*this is why I love comments because after the whole process its nice to see people LIKED parts or they FELT things so comments are GRREEEAAATTTT* 

(Idk if you have more questions message me I could talk writing processes all day, I’d love to know yours & steal ideas :D)

23. Single or Multi POV why: 

So Muffin put it best when she was professionally roasting an ask (QUEEN) butttt…. I wont add a POV unless it brings something to the story that adds to the VIBE I want to create or gives more insight to a situation I feel is needed.

So for example… People want a Zuko POV in LIAB, but part of my vibe is the audience gets to explore Sokka’s mind and navigate with him through his new feelings for his new ‘friend’ and how we will deal with his trauma… & we get to come along for the journey. If I added Zuko’s POV the vibe would change (because we would also have the thoughts from Zuko and that mystery aspect would be taken away) and it's not a direction I want to take the story, so I won’t add it for that reason.

BUT, for example…. Chang’s POV gave SO MUCH insight and answered a LOT of questions, so it made sense to do it from his eyes. It all depends on what VIBE you want to create and WHO will help you create that by adding to the story.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING IT WAS FUN!! 

[winterrose527]

have you done an Ella - museum curator, Robb - investor on a tour work??

Ummmm no I had not! And wow was this one cathartic to write. It came out way longer than expected because this is a subject near and dear to my heart...

Thank you for this prompt!!

***

She was so sick of this shit.

Over a year of it. Ever since the governor’s order in April 2020. Back then she’d almost believed it was just a blip, a couple of weeks. A vacation, almost.

But then the ban on gatherings. The shutdowns. Finally the masks.

Every museum in the country had shut its doors along with libraries, movie theaters, and every other place desperate parents could take their children on a rainy Saturday.

Theirs had been luckier than most. An endowment a few years prior, which had been earmarked but not mandated for an expansion had been used to keep the lights on and the staff fed - literally. Their programming had gone virtual and understandably attendance had dropped but not entirely – thanks to a few local artists that had generously donated their time for a last minute plug.

Ever since restrictions had lifted, the crowds had returned somewhat. A rainy spring and summer had helped, but they were nowhere near their ‘pre-pandemic’ levels (and with the Delta variant on the rise she wasn’t super comfortable with the term ‘post-pandemic’ to describe their current state of affairs).

She wouldn’t say that today though.

No, today everything would be rosy – not just the botanical gardens that abutted the museum and had been started in 1853 – no, 1854.

Not that she imagined the potential donor would be fact checking her but nevertheless there was no room for error. She needed to represent the museum well. Her colleagues were counting on her – not to mention the collection itself depended on her.

The board had decided at its most recent meeting if they didn’t get an influx of donations within this quarter they were going to sell off a few pieces from the collection.

There was nothing sadder to a museum than deaccessioning. The staff all loved and protected the collection, and they truly felt the impact they and it had on the community. Myrcella loved to walk through the galleries on Thursday afternoons to see the regulars who’d come to visit the paintings like old friends of theirs, stopping by to say hello to a Baroque oil here or an Impressionist watercolor there.

So if schmoozing yet another prospective donor was what it took to mean that Mr. Poole’s favorite still-life stayed put for his bi-weekly Wednesday morning visit, then she would schmooze. She would schmooze Sansa Stark like her life depended on it.

She knew Sansa Stark sort of. It was the sort of thing where pre-pandemic they had run into each other at half a dozen events every year and always had a lovely chat and discussed getting together and then never did. The North was a small world and they ran in similar circles. But they weren’t friends.

Still, she was her best bet. From the wealthiest and most philanthropic family in the North, of course she was.

And she had to deliver.

The board had all made it clear that they expected results, and it had been suggested that really Myrcella Baratheon shouldn’t have such a hard time finding donors. But all her usual suspects had come to her with their own sob stories full of please tell me you won’t shut your doors but without any promise of relief, and the people she knew down south – the sort that profited from the world being in such dire straits had no interest in a little regional museum. No matter how much she marketed it as a hidden jewel.

To them, there was little worth in a jewel hidden, and they had no interest in having their act of charity buried under the northern snows.

So Sansa Stark was it.

She smoothed her dress, chosen carefully for the occasion. Sansa was always impeccably dressed and favored ladylike, tailored dresses for daytime, just as Myrcella did. Today, which had turned out to be a gorgeous one, she’d chosen a pale blue scallop trim knit dress, her grandmother’s wristwatch her only accessory. Feminine but appropriate. More comfortable than the clingier dresses she only ever so occasionally wore when taking around a male potential benefactor.

“Good luck,” Gilly, their glum registrar said as she raised her wrist to her nose to make sure she could still smell the scented oil she’d spread there that morning.

“Thanks baby,” Myrcella sighed, “Lunch from that naughty salad place when I’m done? My treat?”

Gilly smiled at that, “My treat if you get her.”

“Oh, now the stakes are really high,” she teased and blew Gilly a kiss and walked through the halls.

She felt eyes on her as she went. It was a small, tight-knit team, and it made it all the harder every time she received a sheepish regret. If she couldn’t succeed, one of them might lose their job if the board couldn’t decide what to sell. Even if they could, depending on how long this lasted.

Game face, Baratheon.

She took a deep breath and then smiled for fifteen seconds. She let it drop, knowing that it would still be in her eyes when she walked outside and it felt a little more genuine when her heels clacked along the gorgeous marble floor.

Walking over to the security desk, the smile reappeared on her face.

“Morning Roddy,” she grinned.

“Good morning to you Miss Myrcella,” Rodrick greeted her, “You see the game last night?”

“You’ve known me for four years,” she noted, “When in all of that time have I ever seen the game?”

He chuckled, “There was that one time in 2018.”

“Oh no, I totally lied about that,” she assured him, shrugging, “I wanted you to think I was cool.” She then looked around the empty lobby, “No Miss Stark?”

He grimaced, “Not yet. Traffic is back though, folks still aren’t used to it.”

She nodded, picking at a non-existent thread on her dress and looked around. Her eyes narrowed in on something and she crossed the lobby and picked up a tiny scrap of paper, crumbling it in her hand and then walking back over and tossing it in the trash behind Roddy’s desk.

“I’ve been sitting here for two hours, didn’t see it,” he noted.

She smiled, “Well you’ve been doing less important things like making sure no one robs the place.”

He opened his mouth to say something to her but then his gaze was directed behind her, “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t open until 11 o’clock on Tuesdays.”

“I sort of have an appointment,” the man said.

She knew that voice. She’d heard it before. In a coat closet at Alys Karstark’s birthday party. At the next table over at a charity even in 2019. Deep, stubbornly Northern, as unyielding as Valyrian steel.

She felt her palms sweat and forced herself not to rub them on her dress, rubbing them together instead and then turning around with a bright smile.

“You’re not Sansa Stark,” she greeted him.

He grinned sheepishly, though she wasn’t sure this man had ever had occasion to be sheepish in his entire life, “Afraid not. Myrcella, right? We met at that thing – that um… save the…whatsits.”

She giggled, and she heard the sound echoing garishly on the marble, “I believe that evening we were saving the seals. Or the… tulips, maybe.”

His smile spread slowly across his face, a dimple marking its end like an exclamation point, “Well we did our part even if we can’t remember what it was, I’m Robb Stark.”

She liked that he introduced himself. He’d done so every time they’d met, as though he in no way expected her to remember him. Sansa had done it the first five or so. Must have been how they were raised.

On the other hand, she’d been raised to act as though someone was foolish for not knowing who she was, introducing herself had been something she’d had to learn when she moved north, like parallel parking and salting her stoop.

Her hand extended and his met it, taking hers in his larger one and shaking it firmly as he looked her in the eyes briefly and then her lips slightly longer before purposefully going back to her eyes, “Myrcella Baratheon, and I remember you, Mr. Stark.”

“Well if that were true you’d remember I prefer Robb,” he noted, releasing her hand.

She shrugged, leaning forward conspiratorially, “Old habits. Can I get you something to drink before we begin our tour?”

“No thank you, I’m fine,” he shook his head.

She nodded, “Well it’s beautiful out now, why don’t we start in the botanical gardens. There’s been a bumper crop this year, we recently had the Cerwyn wedding here, did you attend?”

He fell into step next to her and said, “No, I didn’t. I was meant to but they reduced it to just family.”

She nodded, “Right, seems to be happening quite a bit. Will you do the same for your wedding?”

He stopped walking briefly and before she could stop too he had started again, “No… uh, rather than reduce the guest list we decided not to have it at all. We called the engagement off in January.”

“I’m so sorry!” she internally stabbed herself in the throat, “I didn’t know.”

He shrugged, “The nice thing about there not being any events over the past year is that the press didn’t really get wind of it.” Then stopped abruptly, “Not that… it’s not like that makes up for the past year or anything.”

She laughed, “Don’t worry, I know what you meant. I am sorry though, about your engagement.”

“As am I,” he agreed, “But it’s for the best. We parted as friends. Had we gotten married, I’m not sure we could have done so, so I’m grateful for that, and for her.”

A gentleman.

So many men played the part. Opening doors, buying flowers. So few of them realized that manners mattered very little when they were offered without grace.

“That’s lovely,” she noted, pleased for once not to have to lie.

It was a gorgeous day, a perfect seventy-nine degrees and clear blue skies. As though they’d understood the importance of the occasion, the Phlox stood proudly in battle formation and the scent of honeysuckle surrounded them.

“Sansa wanted me to apologize for missing your meeting,” Robb noted.

“I hope nothing’s the matter?” she asked.

A grin overtook his face, “No nothing at all. She’s in labor.”

She smiled, grabbing his forearm briefly. They both looked down at her hand on it and she pulled it back as gingerly as she could.

“That’s wonderful,” she told him, “Her second, right?”

He nodded, “A girl. And I’ve convinced her out of the name Corona.”

She chuckled, “Oh come now, you could call her Corrie for short.”

“And her parents idiots for long,” he noted. Then told her, “They weren’t really going to call her Corona.”

She smiled, “And here I was about to tip off the press…”

He smirked, “Narrow miss, then.” He looked around, “So. Flowers.”

“Not just flowers,” she pointed out, “We have a community garden to the left and down that lane local beekeepers keep their hives.”

“My mistake,” he allowed with a close-lipped smile.

That smile annoyed her. It was the same one she’d heard in the voice of every southern donor she’d called when they’d offered her good luck with her little country museum.

It was the smile someone gave her when she’d already lost.

“Perhaps we should go inside,” she noted, “I can show you our contemporary wing which we’ve recently devoted to elevating female and underrepresented artists. Or perhaps that’s a bit too avant-garde for you. Would you like to see our hall of armor and weaponry? I believe we have a few pieces that your ancestors left on one battlefield or another.”

“I’m sorry,” he noted, rubbing his jaw, “I told Sansa we should just cancel this meeting but she insisted.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Stark –“

“Robb,” he corrected her.

“No, I’m addressing Mr. Stark right now,” she argued, all of the frustration and helplessness of the past few months bubbling up inside of her, “May I ask what exactly it is about this that you find amusing? Is it the painting that we’re going to have to sell so that it can end up in someone’s climate controlled storage unit and never looked at again? Or is it the leaky roof? Perhaps the pay cut we asked all senior employees to take? Or how about the summer interns who had gone through a rigorous hiring process only to be told we couldn’t take them on at all? I certainly hope it’s not the seniors who used to come here for their Saturday afternoon watercolor classes which we had to cancel because we didn’t have anything to pay the instructor even though it would have been the perfect activity for them because it is outdoors and safe. Or maybe it’s the after-school programs you find so laughable…”

“I’m not laughing,” he pointed out. “But you’ll forgive me if I take your righteousness with a grain of salt.”

“I’m not sure that I will, actually,” she argued.

“No?” he asked, “Well let’s talk about those seniors? Don’t you think that funding is better spent ensuring they have free and safe access to the vaccination that can actually save their lives? Or what about those kids? Sure, the after-school program is great, but how about providing computers to allow them to do remote learning? Now I’m sorry if you have to lose one of a thousand paintings in this place, but if money can be better spent giving people what they really need then I’m sorry – sell the damn thing.”

That was hard to argue with.

But not impossible.

“So you’ve drained your coffers?” she asked.

There was only room for one of them on the moral high ground and she’d always enjoyed the view.

His cheeks had turned blotchy in anger but they paled now, “Excuse me?”

“Are you in the red?” she asked, “Declaring bankruptcy? Let’s not go that far - Taking out loans? Leveraging assets?”

His jaw clenched, revealing a muscle in his left cheek that might have been attractive if she wasn’t about to rip his head off.

“No,” he noted, “But my family’s company and my family have given an exceptional amount this year already.”

“Well,” she pointed out, “It has been an exceptional year already.”

“Are you always this haughty with potential donors?” he asked, stepping ever so slightly closer to her.

A flash in her mind of his hand ghosting across the back of her neck as he secured her coat over her shoulders. That smell.

“Never,” she admitted, stepping ever so slightly towards him, “But you’re not a potential donor, are you? And tell me, is it really because you don’t think it’s worthwhile or because it doesn’t sound worthwhile?”

His face contorted in anger, “You think we’re giving so that people will write songs about us? We want this country back on its feet. We want to return to normal and if we can’t do that, we want to make sure to give people as comfortable an existence until it reverts on its own. Tell me, Miss Baratheon, can you actually find fault in that?”

She shook her head, “No, I can’t.” He looked surprised and she shrugged, “It’s a flawless argument. Just an incomplete one. Giving an exceptional amount right now isn’t enough. You have to give until it hurts, because you can. It is wonderful, exceptional, heroic, to be doing all that you have done so far. But what comes next? What comes after? What happens when the dust settles? When things open? When we get things under control? What happens when people are ready to return to what was before and none of it is left because it wasn’t deemed essential. Because it’s just flowers and amateur beekeepers and pretty watercolors? I understand that we are not on the top of the list and we shouldn’t be. But we should be on the list. We need to do more than survive, Robb. There are things apart from us that we need to endure. Things we need to protect.”

His mouth twitched at that.

“I’m sorry to say I don’t have time to see the armor,” he told her.

She felt the defeat trickle through her veins slowly.

She held out her hand, “Thank you for letting me rant at you.”

He shook it once again, narrowing his eyes at her, “Something tells me you’ve still got some left in the tank. I’d quite like to hear it. Have dinner with me tonight and convince me.”

It was happening to all of her girlfriends. After a year in isolation, their ability to detect a creep from a mile away had withered. She hadn’t thought that hers had too. He’d seemed like one of the good ones.

She pulled her hand away, “That’s not the way I do business, Mr. Stark.”

His eyes widened in horror, “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t get to make these decisions.”

“You’re the CEO,” she pointed out.

“Yes I am but Sansa insisted on inserting a clause into her contract that she gets final say over any philanthropic decisions,” he sighed, “I literally am not even allowed to choose the location of a book drive.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that, a tiny bit of hope bubbling inside of her, “So when you said you should have cancelled the meeting…”

“It’s because Sansa’s already decided that we will be giving a donation, she wanted to discuss the structure of it with you – you know whether you’d prefer a lump sum, or whether you want it in increments, if you wanted it to be public to inspire other donors or whether you wanted it to be private so that they couldn’t use it as an excuse not to give…” he waved his hand, “She’s better at the specifics and I’m sure she’ll be calling you in between contractions to fine tune them.”

She laughed, “Please tell her not to. A pledge is more than enough to take to my board, we can map out the nitty gritty whenever she or whomever will be replacing her in the interim has time.”

He nodded, “You’ll have them within the week.”

She was about to thank him but the words caught in her mouth, “So wait a second… did you just wind me up for the sake of it?”

He grinned, a chuckle present in his voice though it hadn’t yet broken, “I’d like to point out that it took very little to wind you up.”

She laughed, because he was right and admitted, “It’s been a tough year.”

He nodded, “For everyone. So, now that you know I have absolutely no control and can hold absolutely nothing over you… have dinner with me.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I enjoy arguing with you,” he told her, then grinned sheepishly, “And because I lied. Sansa told me that I could cancel the meeting and I insisted on coming because I wanted to see you. The bad thing about this year is that there were no events where I could have a chance of bumping into you…”

“Oh that’s the bad thing about this year?” she asked.

“Well,” he grinned, then did a scarily good impression of her, “Maybe it shouldn’t be at the top of the list, but it should be on the list.”

[jaskiersvalley]

Ummmm so I am IN LOVE with your Geralt whump and it’s literally giving me life during this pandemic so like THANK YOU.

I come bearing more Geralt whump for you! Along with a side of angry Jaskier, some comfort and some fluff to boot. Hope you’re keeping safe and well in this pandemic!

Something wasn’t right about the contract. There shouldn’t have been a kikimora so deep into inhabited lands. For one, there weren’t any sufficiently murky bogs for the creature to actually live in. Then there was the issue of nobody having actually borne witness to it or encountered a tragedy with it. Not ever sheep were going missing. But, the advert was there on the noticeboard, calling for a witcher to deal with the creature. Money was low, Geralt and Jaskier couldn’t afford to be picky so the notice was plucked off the board and they made their way to the castle that had put out the contract.

There was far too much excitement in the courtyard at their approach. In fact, everyone seemed to spring into action as they were shown to the Great Hall.

“Witcher!” The count looked so pleased, he even smiled at Geralt. “We have a kikimora for you to kill. Do it well and we’ll even double the original pay.”

The amount of coin in question was more than Geralt would usually earn in half a year. All that for one single kikimora. Even more unusual, he and Jaskier were given a room, a comfortable one at that. They were to rest up and then go to the inner ward in the morning. The one request was that Geralt be ready to hunt straight from the meeting.

It was one of the best nights of sleep Geralt had ever had. The niggling feeling of something being off was so easy to ignore when Jaskier looked so happy. Food, bath, comfort as they both needed and rarely got to indulge in. In the morning, a servant intercepted them, apologetic as Geralt had ever seen anyone around a witcher and asked for Jaskier to accompany him.

“You’ve seen a kikimora a thousand times before, go,” Geralt said, urging Jaskier to go to his fans. A little longer in the laps of luxury while Geralt saw to the kikimora would be good for him. And at least he would be safe in the castle.

He was led to the doors to the inner ward and gestured through. Stepping out into daylight, the doors clanged shut behind him and he was out on the grounds, alone.

Meanwhile, Jaskier had been led through the castle, higher up and to the inner ramparts. They were crowded with nobility and rich merchants, all peering into the inner ward with excitement. A cheer went up and Jaskier was shown to a gap he could see from. Geralt had stepped into what could only be described as an arena from where Jaskier stood. It had been cleared of everything, a perfect battle ground. With a creak, the metal grates of a gate opened up at the far end of the inner ward and Jaskier watched as a kikimora lumbered out. He didn’t have to be a monster expert to know it was sickly, dried out and hungry. Obviously it had been kept in appalling conditions, for the sole purpose of entertainment for the upper echelons.

There was no choice for Geralt. It was kill or be killed. He draw a sword and walked up to the hissing, swaying creature. Jaskier knew Geralt, knew that there was going to be no theatrics, no show. In one deft step to the side and swing of his sword, the kikimora fell to the ground, head almost completely severed.

All the cheering stopped. The show and entertainment that had been anticipated was just a dream. Slowly, the ‘boos’ started and built into a raging, baying howl. They were going to have to leave and quickly. Jaskier pushed his way through the angry crowd and hurried back to their room, intent on packing up as hurriedly as he could. By the time Geralt was back, everything would be ready for travel.

It took longer for Geralt to return than anticipated and Jaskier was getting impatient. Finally, the door clicked quietly and Geralt stepped through, head bowed. A pouch of coin was thrown onto the bed without a word.

“Geralt!” Jaskier almost sighed his name in relief at seeing him. Silver hair hung in Geralt’s face but, as he moved, Jaskier swore he caught sight of eyes that weren’t their usual white and gold. It made no sense, there had been no need to take potions, especially not something like cat. In fact, Jaskier was quite sure they were low on potions and possibly didn’t even have any. “Geralt?”

When there was no response to his question, Jaskier reached out and gripped Geralt by the chin, turning his face to look at him. There were no potions at work and Jaskier gasped, hand reaching up to brush over the swollen, bruised skin. Geralt’s eye was red with burst vessels from where something had struck him.

“What the hell happened?” Jaskier asked, horrified. The kikimora hadn’t put up a fight, hadn’t even got beyond looking funny at Geralt before it died.

“Doesn’t matter. Got paid.” Geralt tried to step around Jaskier, doing his best to hide a limp. “Let’s go.”

There was no way they were going anywhere when Geralt was in such a state. Hands on hips, Jaskier pressed his lips into a firm line and watched as Geralt reached for a bag and his breath caught before he pushed through the pain.

“Put that down.” When Geralt refused to listen, Jaskier marched up to him. “You put that down this instant, get out of your armour and let me take a look. I need an inventory before I take me next step.”

In testament either to how much Geralt trusted him or how badly he was hurting, Geralt let the bag drop from his shoulder and let Jaskier help him out of his armour. Bruises, welts, skin split under strikes began to reveal themselves and Jaskier’s hands shook with rage.

“Fucking entitled bastards,” he cursed. A hand swept over bruised, likely cracked ribs. It looked like somehow had take a metal chain to Geralt and tried to whip it around him. “They’ll be so sorry they tried this ploy.”

He struggled to imagine what could have happened once he left. Whether the angry mob had swarmed the inner ward to take their fury out on Geralt. Or maybe Geralt had been summoned to the Great Hall and a select few of the count’s inner circle had been granted the alleged privilege. Though that would mean Geralt hadn’t fought back. Then again, this was Geralt, of course he wouldn’t have fought back. Probably had convinced himself he deserved it too.

Down to his smalls, Geralt let Jaskier do as he pleased, too tired to protest anything. Even when Jaskier gently bullied him into bed and told him to rest, meditate and take it easy.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised. It wasn’t often that Jaskier openly wore a weapon but he pulled his sword from his pack and strapped it against his hip. Marching out, Jaskier set off on a warpath.

In less time than anticipated, he was back and was pleasantly surprised to see Geralt was exactly where he left him, eyes closed and seemingly at peace. It was all a ploy, Jaskier knew he wouldn’t relax, not when alone in a castle that hurt him so badly.

“We have three days here, everything is at our disposal. Nobody will bother us. Food, bath, creature comforts, I talk to someone and it will happen.”

Gingerly, Jaskier sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked through Geralt’s hair, holding back a wince when his eyes opened. One was still a deep, blood red, likely would be for a couple of days before Geralt healed. It was just as well they had a few days in a protected space. If the masses saw Geralt as he was, no doubt there would be more tall tales about witchers.

Softly, Jaskier began to hum, lulling Geralt to sleep.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you,” he promised, one hand on his sword’s hilt, the other in Geralt’s hair. The soft murmur Jaskier got in return could have been a ‘thanks’ or a hum of sceptical amusement, it didn’t matter. What was important was that Geralt got his rest and dignity.

[sibyl-of-space]

UMMMM HOLY SHIT WHAT??

EXTREMELY HUGELY BIG GHOST TRICK SPOILERS B/C I CANNOT TALK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED WRT ROMHACKING WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT IT

So.... I think? Sissel and Yomiel? Are given DIFFERENT CODES that point to their sprites???? Let me explain what I mean. There is only 1 “master” Yomiel-sprite for each expression in cpac_3d.bin, and changing this changes every instance of that sprite in the game. This was what I first tried that turned Yomiel into a cat with no way to turn him back.

I have been going through every single scene instead, and the sprite pointers are hard coded by language per line of dialogue, so I have been mass find+replace-ing the codes that correspond to Sissel’s sprites on the left side. Doing it this way has so far replaced all of the dialogue as expected, and - I assumed - it missed Yomiel in one of the scenes because he conveniently is located on the right side of the conversation.

BUT. I JUST TESTED WITH ANOTHER SCENE WITH YOMIEL. AND HE IS ON THE LEFT. AND //IT DID NOT REPLACE HIM.//

These were both screenshots from the SAME scene where I had find+replaced ALL codes that point to Human-Sissel. Yomiel is intact... Sissel is a cat:

I THINK THIS MEANS THAT EVEN IF THEY SHARE THE SAME SPRITES, THE PALETTES, DEFINED GOD KNOWS WHERE, FOR YOMIEL AND SISSEL ARE SEPARATE. DIFFERENT NUMBERS PULL THE SAME SPRITES DEPENDING ON WHO IS TALKING. THIS IS HUGE.

However, for now, I have absolutely no fucking idea where in the FUCK those palettes are defined. I am going to try to finish doing it this way just to get a janky version done, but if I can find those palettes, that will be the holy grail. It means I can a) re-point Sissel in one place rather than 47302483298430284398 places, b) easily do it for other languages, and c) if I can figure out how to export, edit, and import new sprites [enormous “if”; the file types are not recognized by anything I have used so far, will probably take reverse-engineering] I might be able to eventually work toward the ultimate goal of a full palette of Cat Sissel Expressions.

That’s way out of my depth currently. For right now, I am focused on just making a very basic Playable Full Cat Mode. But this has implications for more down the road. I may not be done with this for a while yet.

[the-fiction-witch]

‘Big Daddies’ Daughter P1

TV SHOW: THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE: BENNY WATTS X READER RATING: SEXY

I sat at my usual table reading over some matches from my last championship replaying them looking for weakness in there and my own play. My apartment cold I could see the rain battering new york in this storm from the small windows to the outside world. It was getting late, and dark now. The power went out hours ago, the landlord came down and explained it was the storm so little I could do about it. I lit candles just enough to see what I was doing. I sipped my glass of apple juice as I didn't want coffee it would just keep me up. I jumped slightly hearing a crack of thunder across the sky and the sudden return to utter silence. I plaid on making notes of it all in my head when suddenly the loud metallic sound of a knock on my door erupted across my apartment. I jumped and froze an ice cold chill down my back.

"W-who is it?" I asked getting up from my chair stepping my bare feet across the cold floor towards my door no answer, maybe I imagined it I turned to return to my board but it knocked again louder and more aggressively. I went to the door slowly unlocking it pulling it open enough to see the dirty entrance way of my apartment, the light gone out above the door, the only light the small light in the sky outside with the rain hitting the pavement, there was someone there stood between the stairs and my door.

I saw red and black heels, fishnet stockings up beautiful legs, the rim of black petticoats under a red dress, a large white fur coat covering the body, a ciggerette in her hand close to her face her beautiful sculped curls sitting so perfectly as if she took them out her roller seconds ago. 

"Hello Benjamin" her sultry voice spoke 

"Y/n" I replied "why didn't you say it was you, come on come out the rain" I told her quickly letting her in and shutting the door locking it up tightly, I saw now her beautiful face with her sharp eye liner and bright red lipstick and umbrella in her other hand, she hung the curve of her umbrella on the hook beside my door as she looked around my apartment, I smiled widely wrapping my arms around her waist resting my head on her shoulder as I cuddled her from behind nuzzling with her fur coat "ummm I've missed you"

"Awww I've missed you too" she smiled before she pushed me away "I'm sorry I couldn't get away" she explained slipping off her coat and hanging it beside her umbrella revealing her tight halter neck red dress with a black band around her waist "what?" She asks 

"You look beautiful" I told her kissing her cheek 

"You're too sweet to me Benny" she giggled tapping nose and going down into the main part of my apartment 

"I uhh didn't know you where coming tonight" I quickly excused as I gathered up some clothes an such like left around my apartment, throwing some trash away just various making it look presentable 

"I tried to call" she says 

"Yeah powers out, maybe phone lines are down too then" I explain 

"I don't know why you stay here" she sighed sitting in my leather chair with her ciggerette 

"My alternate is?" I laughed leaning on the kitchen counter 

"You could always come live with me?" She suggested 

"Could I? Does your family even know about me?"

"My brother does, my mother does"

"When am I going to meet your family?" 

"Not yet a while" she says 

"And you think I can move in with you?"

"Touché" she sighed 

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Rosé, of you have any" she smiled

"Of course I do," I smirked getting the bottle from my fridge that I keep just for when she comes over as it's all she ever drinks doing her a glass and one for myself going over handing it to her 

"Thank you Benny" she smiled 

"Your welcome y/n" I smiled sitting on the sofa next to the chair. we clinked out glasses gently and went each to sip, as I did I felt her hand interwining with my own and I smiled holding her hand back. "Why am I a secret? From your family?"

"You know why, because daddy wouldn't like it," she smirked "daddy wouldn't like his little daughter getting… with a boy"

"Y/n, your dad is going to find out at some point"

"Not if I have anything to say about it" 

"But what are you going to do… when you really do want us to move in together or, we… wanna get married?" 

"Cross that bridge you know" 

"Alright, you know what your doing" 

"Of course I do" she smiled putting her ciggerette out in the ashtray and putting down her wine coming over to the sofa I smiled putting my wine down too as she laid her head on my chest so I wrapped my arms around her as she wrapped her own around me I smiled at her gently caressing her sweet face "what is it Benny?' she asked before she could say another word I leant down slightly and captured her sweet heavenly lips in a kiss, she kissed back instantly as we gently and slowly kissed each other our lips moving so softly and perfectly again each other. Till she pulled away 

"Something wrong?"

"No, nothing" she smiled getting up tugging my hand along with her playfully towards my bedroom… 

I smirked as I made coffee to try and wake me up. Rubbing my eyes as the kettle boiled stretching a little 

"Ow!!" I complained as I caught the bruising mark on my neck I made my coffee and went leaning on my bedroom door I couldn't stop smiling looking at y/n's beautiful body wrapped up in my bed the small sheet just covering her, her hair a mess against the pillows, her breasts moving up and down with each breath a small smile on her face as she began to stir gently moving herself in the covers "good morning" I smiled she picked her head up a little barely opening her eyes and she smiled resting her head on her hand yawning before blowing me a kiss "hi" I smiled blowing her a kiss too 

"Hi" she smiled "are you coming back to bed? Or am I going to be all lonely?" She whines 

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he smirked "I've got studying to do"

"Ummm what kinda studying is more important then crawling back into bed with your babygirl Benny?" 

“Why do you always have to act all sexy when I have other stuff to do?”

“Its fun” she giggled playfully toying with her messy hair 

"You look so beautiful in the morning"

"Do I?"

"Umm, especially when I haven't seen you in a while" 

"Is that because you miss me?" She asks laying on her stomach pressing her breasts to the mattress gently squishing them tightly against her, putting her legs up gently kicking the air in that cute little way she does the covers only just covering her arse "or because you've usually just fucked me?"

"Can't it be both sweetheart?" I asked sipping my coffee 

"Ummmm Benny" she whines 

"Yes y/n?" I smirked as she grabbed he handbag from the table by the bed getting her lipstick and her gold compact mirror fixing her lipstick from all the kissing last night, I didn't doubt I had some of the blood red lipstick on me too

"Next week's there's a wedding" she says "did you… wanna come?"

"A wedding?"

"Humm, my sister's daughter" she explained 

"So… I'll get to meet your family?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it"

"What made you think about it?"

"Well, what's the point teasing you in. Might as well just throw you all the way in. See if you can swim" she smirked 

"What made you think about not easing me in rather just fully pushing me in" 

"You know what" she winked 

"Do you always think about stuff when we have sex?"

"I have to lay here for twenty minutes what am I meant to do?"

"We're having sex?"

"You telling me your not thinking about chess when we have sex?"

"... Touché sweetheart, breakfast?"

"No, sorry Benny I need to go daddy wants me home" she explained wrapping the sheets around her getting up holding the sheet around her naked body she took the coffee out my hand drinking the rest and walked of towards the bathroom shaking herself a little at me as the sheet only covered her front, I smirked leaning on the door way watching her walk across my apartment completely naked from behind watching that sexy ass jiggle a little with each step "something the matter Benny?" She asked turning to me as she got to my bathroom door intentional shaking her arse at me trying to look sexy 

"Ummm… I wanna have those legs around me again baby. Uuummm I wanna get up in that sexy ass again. I wanna fuck that slutty little pussy all over again baby" I smirked quickly going over and grabbing her hips grinding my jeans against her bare arse kissing her neck "umm I won't be long, I promise you'll be home in time. Just let me have you. One more time before you go" I growled to her grabbing her breast thought the sheet 

"Next time watts if you're good" she smiled pushing me away and shutting the door to the bathroom with a little wave and blowing me a kiss. 

I woke feeling a little groggy and rough still slightly exaughted from last night, I smirked turning over to wrap my arms around her sweet body, But there wasn't a body next to mine. I groaned sitting up more rubbing my eyes seeing my bedroom empty but noise and light coming from the other side of the window so I got up getting my robe and my jeans on going out into my apartment.

I heard some music playing from the record player, the light of the early morning coming in the windows, the room warm as no doubt the pipes where hot and the air had steam, there was a sweet scent of blueberry in the air. My eyes cleared a little seeing the shower empty but a bath had clearly been run as bubbles where still up the sides, something was in the oven cooking, an ironing board up in my living room hu… I didn't think I owned a ironing board. And there in the middle of it all stood my beautiful y/n, her bear feet against the store floor, her sexy legs dancing and moving to the music her little white panties hugging her so closely and innocently, a similar rather innocent and yet full coverage bra around her tightly, her hair up in her bright blue rollers, ironing something on the board while sipping at a rather full glass of rosé, she spotted me and smiled

"Good morning benjamin" she smiled

"Why do you call me that?"

"It's your name?" 

"Yes but you are literally the only person on the planet who calls me it" 

"Morning, wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning Benny?" She asked sipping her wine 

"Well I was missing my sweetheart? How can I wake up nicely without my little snuggle?" I whined 

"Well I had stuff to do" she says 

"Did you? More important that being in bed with me?" 

"Yes" she says "we have a wedding to attend in… ohh god nine hours!" 

"Yeah, nine hours that's alot of time" 

"No it isn't Benny, you wanna be around more fine but accept now that nine hours is just enough time to get ready" she explained 

"It will not take me nine hours to have a shower and get dressed, well I need to pick out what I'm wearing actually"

'no you don't"

"I don't?"

"No I did it, I'm going to do your clothes when I'm done with my dress" she explained 

"Ooh, thanks sweetheart"

"It's fine I was worrying about what you where going to wear, and if you'd pick something presentable and then I realized it would just be way easier to choose your outfit for you" 

"Awww thanks sweetheart" I smiled giving her cheek a kiss as I went to get coffee and I had a peak in the oven "are you making upside down blueberry cake?"

"Yep for the wedding"

"Ummmm, " I smiled giving her a tight cuddle "can we get married?"

"What?"

"I wanna wake up to you half naked, with cake, having picked my clothes, ummm can we get married? So your my little wifey"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

"We can't get married for three years"

"Uuuhh...okay. why not?"

"Too many weddings already booked in, can't fit it too busy" she explained

"We can get engaged we don't have to get married until whenever you need the wedding sweetheart"

"I'll think about it Benny" she smiled giving me a kiss as she irons her dress

"What do you mean booked up? For three years? How many people in your family are getting married in the next three years?"

"Lots"

"How big is your family?"

"You'll find out" she smiled giving me a kiss “Go on have your bath or shower whatever you want to have today benny” she smiled 

“Alright, I’ll have a shower, you can iron the clothes that you’ve picked out for me” I smiled giving her a kiss and going for a shower.

[loniereads]

cr: Sufficiently Advanced Magic

*spoiler warning*

Chapter 1 - 5

Chapter one

“I was prepared in a thousand different ways that didn’t matter” - Me for every test I’ve ever taken ☺️✨✨

Omg is he gonna go look for his brother 🥺 This book said found family but make it literal - side note, love the name Tristan.

I hope it’s explained as to WHY hundreds of 17 year olds are enduring a judgment to their possible death????

Imagine you’re brother going basically missing, your mom leaving, and then your dad pulling you out of school so you can prepare to possibly ✨die✨

“It could take years to grow strong enough-” 🥺 He’s going to sacrifice years of his life and risk certain death just for a chance to reunite his family is this book gonna make me cry?

I don’t like his name as much as I like his brothers but yanno whatever- how do you even say Corin

I already hate the dad??? Hello? Your first son is gone and your second could follow in his fate and you don’t even see him off?? Fuck you buddy why are book dads such assholes

“I loathed hurting people. I always had.” so i have decided that if anything happens to Corin I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. WHAT A CUTIE SWEET SOUL

If this book forces him to hurt someone I’ll riot-

Oh my gosh he hates fighting but he’s willing to fight for his brother I LOVE HEALTHY BROTHER RELATIONSHIPS they’re so pure

Corin is so nice to try to explain all of this weapon stuff and rune stuff to me like I have any idea wtf he’s talking about- he’s talking and I’m like I’m just happy to be here ☺️

I feel like the fact that he’s paying for everything he takes is important- like maybe other people just take and don’t leave anything? But he’s like here’s a coin for you scary tower~

“It was too cute to die” why do I love Corin so

What a cute ass sweet ass cinnamon roll, my god🥺

HE FELT GUILTY FOR KILLING A SHADOW SNDKDNSK I love him sm what a king

Chapter two

Why does everything he say sound so intelligent

ldmoaha not Corin having a convo with a book

It’s been too long since I read a normal romance book why did my brain just decide to ship Corin and a BOOK

Ok but him taking time to ask about his brother has me so soft

What the flip chapter 2 was so short??? ):

Chapter three

“You shouldn’t have done that” how ominous and amazing and I love it

He so casually was like OH LOOK A DEAD BODY OH LOOKIE PEOPLE

Omg is he gonna find his brother in here- OH MY

OMG HE DID AHHHHH

just... kidding. He did infact not find him.

Oh wait someone younger than him though- so is going into the tower a choice? That would make it a little better. Like you decide when you go in or? I NEED MORE INFO PLS

The word resh is growing on me

He risked his gold key on her 🥺

I love this little merry band of criminals- also just hoping the kid doesn’t yanno....die

omg Keras is out here crushing stones with his bare hands 😏 hellooooo

Wait I’m so conflicted??? I want to trust Keras and Vera but I also want to trust the book alsnsish

Vera is a whole mood I really hope she’s not like evil or just a weird thing in the tower or idk whatever I want her to stay

AWWAIT ☹️☹️☹️ They left Keras behind- that can’t be it. He’s gotta come back right? Like book person is gonna save him? Right!!??

Chapter four

VERA SUCH A BADDDDIE

This ‘kid’ they’re carrying is just making out like a bandit, he’s just getting carried through the tower 😂

WOW FUCK YOU VERA??? UH I HOPE SOMETHING KILLS HER-but not rhe kid 😔

Okay this might be a weird jump- but WHAT IF THE BOOK ENTITY ISSSSS HIS BROTHER??????????? Like the book person seems to really care if Corin lives? so it’s either just like a really caring person, OR HIS BROTHER

Pls let me be right

That would be so cool

The book entity helped him to finish the rest completely? Is this allowed? This feels not allowed

Corin: fighting monsters with criminals in a magical tower, very time sensitive needs to escape quickly

Also Corin: lemme just wrote a little diary entry ✨☺️

So obviously he’s going to get to keep his memories

Also like he got out of the tower so easily? What?

“And don’t let anyone hassle you about your attunement.” HOW VERY OMONIOUS OF YOU TO SAY

Honestly- Fuck Magnus Cadence

REPLACEMENT? What?

His childhood bestfriend is his half sister? I love that???? Instead of making them love interests they’re half siblings that’s cool as hell. We love childhood friends to siblings trope

I will reiterate, FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

I hope we get to see their friendship bc I’m here for this trope

Chapter five

🥺 he sent the boys glove to his parents I’m so soft

Their relationship makes me so happy?? Like I love this. So they better reunite or I’ll riot

BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE BESTTT

I miss Keras 🥺

I am so unsure of Sera. I do love the sudden sibling, and I really really hope they end up having a cool relationship and like she helps him find his(their) brother and hdjsjdjs

If anyone gives Corin a hard time for his attunement I’ll throw hands-

Not them earning points at their schools- All I can think about how is “10 points to gryffindor”

I love the word behooves

Can they go back into the tower already 💀 This down time is killing me. I want book entity, Keras and that boy who was unconscious the entire time back.

-side note, I absolutely love how all three of them(Keras, Corin, and Vera) were all so concerned with this unconscious boy and they literally carried him to complete safety. Who is this boy?? Will he come back? I miss him he better not be be dead. Vera can die but not unconscious boy.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera... but she’s giving me “I’m better than you because I have a better attunement” vibes and I do not like that at all so if Icneed to I will pretend to doesn’t exist.

Aw the schools has like animal representatives decisions?? CUTE UM. - there’s way too many for my brain to keep up with but I love them anyway

Not them assigning kids to basically play pranks on everyone else and tell them if they don’t find the prankster kids they lose points- what a weird ass school

“You and Patrick were practically brothers” GIRL YOU CANT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ACTUAL BROTHER WHO IS MISSING AND/OR DEAD

-Also I know Tristen isn’t dead because like then what would be the point huh? HUH? So he’s got to be alive

Or I’ll riot.

“A walking rainstorm” idk why but that is so fucking adorable. I love my new comfort raintorm, Corin.

I can’t wait for them(Corin and Sera) to meet up with their friends and they have to explain that they’re now half siblings.

Them reminding him to not lose his little sigil pin makes me feel like he’s going to lose or forget it ummmm

Imagine getting fucking EXPELLED because you forgot your pin on your other uniform.

I feel like that would be me honestly. Are people not just...forgetful in this universe??

Ngl i would hate to be in the tortoise division

Corins attunement is lamer but his division is called the Phoenix? Like that’s so much cooler than tortoise

The fact that sera is trying to convince me the Spider division isn’t real makes me feel like she’s in it???

I know my babey Corin didn’t mean this as snarky as I would have liked him to but I love this line so much.

SARCASTIC BOYS WITH DADDY ISSUES OWN ME AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT

Ngl I was hoping they would have roommates- I love a good school roommate dynamic

For the third time I would like to make my opinion to be known; FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

Why has no one made a playlist for this book on Spotify? I am throughly disappointed

Not Corin being ghosted by his book-

I wish I had half the motivation Corin has? Like it’s my boys first day of school and as soon as he gets into his room he starts studying. I would have taken a nap

Oop jk as soon as he couldn’t find the rune he was looking for he went to lay in bed.

I’m sorry what in the hell is Wyddsday??? Did I miss them explaining to hat this universe has different names for it’s days of the week?? How am I supposed to know when this is Corin? Or what day it even is currently

World building is so intricate and interesting and I absolutely live for it- but it’s literally so frustrating sometimes learning and remembering everything

Okay Sera being less irritated about her studies being interrupted because it’s Corin is cute

Fuck

I still don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera

Tashday, Fersday, Kyrsday, Tensday, Vasday, and Wyddsday- either I can’t count or they’re missing a day. And what order do they go in? I need a calendar insert pls and thanks

Wait wait did he just run into an ex? What is this sndlsnsin “long-buried emotions”??

Oooo we get a name. Cecily Lambert

I didn’t possibly think I could relate to Corin anymore than I already do but here I am

The dorm chiefs introduce themselves to everyone? How cute and Curtis didn’t seem at all annoyed by Corin asking so many questions I love when upperclassman in books aren’t rude for no reason. It’s such a tiring trait they often have smh

I need his exams to hurry up because I would very much like to get back to the fast paced tower scenes-

I know absolutely nothing about Jin but I love him immensely

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 9

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there are any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! Pregnancy, PURE FILTH, KINKY AS SHIT, I SWEAR THIS MESS IS NASTY, NSFW. I’m being SERIOUS. Most of this chapter is sex. 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,  Part 8

Word Count: 1.7k

Jeff’s Birthday 12/15/19

David: *Vlogging* Everybody get in the room quietly

Zane & Toddy: *has buckets of ice water*

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: *under his blanket and pillows* Guys. I’m old now. Let me sleeep.

Zane: Wakey wakey baby

Toddy & Zane: *throws the ice water on Jeff*

Jeff: WHHAT THE FUCK

*Everybody runs out of the room laughing*

Jeff: So now that I’m awake, are we all gonna snowboard today?

Y/n: I can’t, so I’m just gonna stay here.

Carly: Erin, Corinna and I will stay back with her.

Y/n: Great, people are feeling sorry for the pregnant girl.

Corinna: Not true. I also hate the cold and I don’t wanna fall down a hill.

Jeff: Okay cool. We’re gonna leave in 20 and y/n, call me if anything happens.

Night time

David: I know we already sung it this morning but-

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: I just like to say thank you so much guys. I know that I’ve been such an asshole the past couple weeks but now that I’m 30 and we’re entering  a new decade in like two or so weeks, I want to make things right and also I’m going to be a father to two little girls. Y/n I know of personally apologize to you already but I just wanna say in front of everybody here. I am so sorry for everything I have done to you. I will admit, I am scared to become a dad, I will protect you and the girls with my life. And thanks to everybody that came here. This friend group has changed my life for the better.

Zane: Can we stop with this sappy shit and eat some caaake.

David: *vlogging* VARDON THROW THE CAKE

Jeff: wait what

Vardon: *throws the cake*

Jeff: *dodges the cake*

*little cake fight happens in the kitchen*

David: hey y/n, can I talk to you?

Y/n: Sure..

David: I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday. After hearing what Jeff said and the way you looked at him, I’m guessing you’re still probably in love w/ him.

Y/n: ummm…

David: I don’t blame you. He is the father of your kids and he most likely still has feelings for you too. Can we just move on and be friends again?

Y/n: I’d like that very much.

*after Jeff gets cleaned up*

Jeff: What did David say to you?

Y/n: that he wanted to move on and be friends again. So now, I’m officially single.

Jeff: So does that mean I can win you back?

Y/n: woah woah woah, slow down there Wittek. You're still on a trial run.

Jeff: Is there anything I can do on this trial run to make me a lifetime member?

Y/n: *getting horny* Maybe… I mean, technically you’re already a lifetime member. I’m pregnant w/ your kids.

Jeff: Sooo… I’m not crossing any lines if I do this? *pushes y/n down gently on the bed and hovers over her*

Y/n: Ummmm….. no.

Jeff: I bet your tits have gotten a lot bigger since I saw them last. I’ll only continue if you’re okay with this

Y/n: *smiling shyly* Oh gosh yes. Please continue

Jeff: *takes off y/n’s shirt* Wow, no bra? Were you planning this? *smirks*

Y/n: No but this better fucking happen because I’m gonna beat you if it doesn’t. My tits have gotten so sore since I got pregnant.

Jeff: *sucks of the right nipple and massages the left* Mmm, they taste sweeter from what I remember.

Y/n: *moans* Mmmm.. fuuuck. Daddy you can suck on my tits all you want.

Jeff: *laughs* Daddy? Someone’s got a daddy kink now?

Y/n: Oh shut up. Let’s be honest, you had a breeding kink before because you always loved cumming inside me before I got pregnant.

Jeff: touché… and I still will cum inside you at the end. I like to finish what I started babe *winks*

Y/n: You kinky whore.

*pulls Jeff in for a needy kiss*

Jeff: *takes off your leggings* Damn babe no underwear too? You were definitely planning this.

Y/n: *getting impatient* Jeff please eat me out.

Jeff: No problem. *kisses his way down to your pussy and his warm tongue licks from your entrance up to your clit.*

Y/n: Oh my god pleease don’t tease me Jeff.

Jeff: Anything for my queen *slowly circles his tongue around your clit* I love how you were always wet for me. *eats you out*

Y/n: *cries out in pleasure* I’m trying so hard not to cum so early.

Jeff: Cum anytime you want baby.

Y/n: Oh GOD I’M CUMMING.

Jeff: *fingers her and sucks on clit*

Y/n: *trembling* mmm I feel like I’m still cumming.

Jeff: You ready?

Y/n: *smirks* I’m always ready for you.

Jeff: You’re making it hard to be gentle w/ you cause I wanna fuck you so damn rough, but I don’t want to hurt you. And you also won’t be able to walk normally..

Y/n: And who says I want it gentle? *winks*

Jeff: You’re gonna be the death of me doll.    

Y/n: *gets on her knees & unzips his pants* I’ve missed your cock so much daddy. *You suck the pre-cum* It’s bigger than I remember.

Jeff: You’re daddy’s little pregnant whore aren’t you?

Y/n: I’ll always be your whore, cum slut, doll, you name it. *licks from the base of his cock to the tip* No one can suck like I can. *You hollow your cheeks so you can suck off as much as you can. His cock hits the back out your throat; you start to deepthroat Jeff*

Jeff: *grabs y/n’s hair & bucks his hips* Only daddy can fuck your mouth, cum inside you and get you pregnant, you got that?

Y/n: Of course. I’ll always take your cum.

Jeff: Get on the bed. On all fours.

Y/n: *Gets on the bed* Just fuck me rough daddy.

Jeff: *slams cock into y/n, gives her a bit to adjust* What’d say doll? *slams it into her again*

Y/n: Jesus fuck. I’ve missed you so much. No one can fuck me like you can.

Jeff: I remember you liked it when daddy fucked your ass doll. Remember?

Y/n: *trembling* Please fuck my ass and then my pussy*

Jeff: *slowly pushes cock into her* FUCK. Shit I almost feel like cumming rn.

Y/n: Fuuuuck me- too. SHIT oh MY UGH. I haven’t done anal in so long.

Jeff: *goes faster* oh fuckk… Your ass feels so amazing.

Y/n: *being a moaning mess* Cum inside my ass Jeff!

Jeff: Don’t worry doll. I’ll cum in both. *goes faster* Fucking SHIT. Sss-o ttight *cums inside y/n*

Y/n: *screams into pillow* SHIT SHIT SHIT IM CUMMING.

Jeff: *Quickly pulls out of ass and fucks her pussy* I’m still rock hard for you baby

Y/n: *Has 3rd orgasm right after the 2nd* Jefff!

Jeff: *cums inside her* Jesus.

*both are sweaty messes wrapped in the blanket*

Y/n: *cuddles with Jeff* Well that was-

Jeff: Kinky-er than usual. I didn’t think I liked to be called daddy.

Y/n: *laughing* Oh god don’t remind me.

Jeff: I’m gonna take a shower, wanna join?

Y/n: What, so you can make me cum for a 4th time tonight?

Jeff: No you little nasty. We’re sweaty and gross. We gotta wash off our sins.

Y/n: *gets out of bed and tries to stand up*

Jeff: I told you you won’t be able to walk.

Y/n: Oh shut up and help me.

The next morning

Y/n & Jeff: *wakes up at y/n’s phone ringing*

Y/n: It’s my doctor. *picks up the phone and puts it on speaker*

Doctor: Good morning y/n, how are you feeling?

Y/n: I’m feeling great.

Doctor: Well that’s good. Is there time for you and Jeff to come by my office today?

Y/n: *confused* Umm no. We’re out of town and won’t be home for another 2-3 days. Is there something wrong? You can just tell it to us over the phone.

Doctor: Well… Okay. The only thing that came up in both of your test results was that you and Jeff are carriers of a mutation of the GJB2 gene. Normally, that gene has a protein that plays an important role in the development of the cochlea, which is in our ears.

Jeff: Can you please get to the point.

Doctor: So because you both are carriers of the mutation of the gene, there’s a chance that one or both of your girls will be born partially or completely deaf.

Y/n: Wh-what?

Jeff: Is there no way in knowing if they are beforehand?

Doctor: The only way in knowing is doing a hearing test on both girls when they’re born. If one or both are born deaf, there’s options like the cochlear implant. I’ve seen this used on babies as young as 5-6 months old but that’s in the UK. Here in the states, babies would have to be at least a year old. Just remember that I’m saying there’s a CHANCE. I’m not saying that they will be born deaf.

Y/n: Ooo-kay. Th-thanks for calling. *Hangs up the phone* D-deaf? Our girls are gonna be born deaf?

Jeff: *holds y/n* Hey hey hey, she said there’s a chance. Since there’s a chance, we gotta be prepared. We gotta do our research and see what the best options are. We might also have to learn sign language and also teach them. Y/n I know you’re terrified and I am too but we have to look at the bright side.

Y/n: And that is?

Jeff: That we’re gonna have 2 beautiful baby girls.

Y/n: *smiles weakly* Should we tell the rest of them?

Jeff: Let’s wait a bit until we tell them.

Y/n: Okay.

Ummm… Yeah so that happened… Don’t say I didn’t warn y’all in the last chapter. Jeff is really stepping up after only a few days. What do y’all think of my little plot twist at the end? Also, Jeff still hasn’t told his parents! How do you think they’ll react. 

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad​ @siemprestan​ @zavidzobrik​ @galxydefender​ @iminlovewithenchilidadas​ @ilsolee​ @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @thoughtfullymysticalpoetry @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Avatar

Dick: Okay, lets try to keep the craziness to a minimum. Harper and Cullen are quarantining for two weeks so lets not do anything to make them jealous.

Duke: *Duke and Tim walk into the room* Omg, We just finished watching Avatar The Last Airbender for like the fifth time right now! I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH!!! WHY DID THEY EVER TAKE IT OFF OF NETFLIX!!!

Dick: Guys, come on. I literally just said to keep the craziness to a minimum.

Tim: They have Netflix set up on their tv. They should be fine.

Damian: What is Avatar The Last Airbender

Everyone: *gasp*

Selina: Some....

Jason: Sh ta ta ta ta. *presses his finger to Selina’s lips* Don’t speak, I know just what you’re sayin’, so please stop explainin’.

Selina: Really Jason? How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Jason: *breaks into a dance* All night long, all night.

Stephanie: What is going on with you Jason? 

Tim: I know right? You don’t ever listen to Lionel Richie, let alone pop music.

Jason: It’s his fault! *points at Dick* Him and his stupid playlist!

Dick: “Don’t Speak” isn’t on my playlist though.

Jason: I ummmm...... radio.

Dick: *gasp* You listen to No Doubt!

Jason: No! Maybe!

Dick: O-M-G!

Jason: They’re a guilty pleasure! Now don’t mention it again.

Cassandra: Guys!!! What is The Last Airbender?

Duke: *starts to explain but Dick holds him back*

Jason: *to Damian and Cassandra* You poor depraved children.

Damian: I’m not a child.

Jason: Hahaha, your cute. Avatar The Last Airbender is the beautiful brain child of Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. It is a fantastic series that can not be summarized by anyone or even a movie. Anyone who tries instantly robs the person of the magic of the original series and ruins the exper.....

Damian: You know what, screw it. This isn’t worth it.

Dick: NOOOO! Come on Dami, we can watch it all together, just the nine of us.

Duke: Yeah, come on Damian.

Stephanie: It’s a really great series Dami.

Cassandra: I mean I’m interested.

Tim: *turns his head towards Cassandra* We already knew you were on board. *turns his head back to Damian*

Damian: Fine, I’ll give your stupid show a chance.

Everyone: Yaaayyyyy!!!! *they all start to head down stairs when Dick gets an alert on his phone*

Dick: Actually, this is going to need to wait. Cass and Tim, come with me. I’ll alert Babs and Kate.

Jason: Why, what’s up?

Dick: There’s been a murder at Blackgate.

Batman, Batwoman, Batgirl, Red Robin, Orphan, and Commissioner Gordon

Jim: Batman and, wow there are a lot of you!

Batman: We want to try and get this over with as soon as possible.  

Jim: Very well. Victim is Julian Gregory Day, better known as Calendar Man. The body was found at 10:15. He left his cell at 10 to meet with the D.A. to talk about getting a reduced sentence. Both of the prison guards who were escorting Julian Day were knocked out during the attack. All of the camera’s were out, too.

Batwoman: The marks on his neck suggest that he was strangled and can’t quite tell but there’s something under his fingernails. He couldn’t have saw this coming but he definitely tried to put up a fight.

Batman: Okay, Batgirl and Orphan, lets have you head to the morgue with the diener and see if they could find out what’s under his finger nails. Batwoman, question Hugo Strange. Go through the audio files and see what you can find. Red Robin, you and I will see what any of the inmates in the cell block know. Jim, order your men to check the other camera monitors for anything suspicious.

Jim: I’m not one of your......

Batman: *glares at Jim Gordon*

Jim: I could figure out your identity any time I want. 

Batman: *smirks* Is that a promise?

Jim: It’s a door I’m willing to keep closed unless you cross the line.

Batwoman

Something she didn’t mention at the crime scene was that there was traces of reddish brown hair, so that points fingers at James Gordon Jr, Clock King, Edward Nigma, and Roxanne Sutton. Kate has her suspicions, but as of right now everyone is a suspect.

Hugo Strange: Hello Batwoman. How may I assist you?

Batwoman: I need to know about a few of your patients.

Hugo Strange: You know I can not tell you much I am.....

Batwoman: I am familiar with the confidentiality agreement. I need to know about Julian Day.

Hugo Strange: Poor guy. It’s a shame what happened to him. His most recent audio files are all yours. You’ll find the information you need in there.

Batwoman walked out of the room and began listening to the files in the secret Batcave in Blackgate.

Batgirl and Orphan

Batgirl: *walks into the door* Ugh, what is that smell?

Orphan: Rotting goat sex.

Batgirl: *burst out laughing* What?

Orphan: Rotting goat sex. 

Batgirl: What made you say that?

Orphan: Red Hood told me that’s the name of the yellow squares you put on sandwiches. The ones that go bad over time and smell like this room.

Batgirl: Okay, don’t listen to Red Hood anymore. It’s called cheese Orphan.

Orphan: Cheese. Okay. Got it.

Batgirl: So, how are you enjoying quarantine in the mansion.

Orphan: It’s not bad. Been sparring a lot. 

Batgirl: Who exactly? You’re not hurting my boyfriend right?

Orphan: Nope, but I kicked Helena’s butt a few times.

Batgirl: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!!!

Coroner: *walks out* Hey, so the.... Sorry, am I interrupting something.

Batgirl: No. Tell us about the body.

Coroner: Okay so prior to his death it seems the victim was drugged with a depressant. Obviously slowing his reactions. Underneath his fingernails are threads from the string that was used strangle him and some dead skin cells.

Batgirl: There’s not a lot of options for strings except for shoelaces, and unless someone has a very old shoelace, that means the string had to have come from outside the prison.

Coroner: Correct, the threads are definitely not made from the same material as the shoelaces.

Orphan: Anything else.

Coroner: Yes, there was some short white hairs found on his body which is odd, but probably from facial hair or eyebrows.

Batgirl: Thanks! Let us know when you have an idea who those skin cells belong to. *both Barbara and Cassandra start walking away* Tell Red Robin what we found out.

Orphan: But we’re supposed to report to Batman.

Batgirl: Fuck Batman.

Selina, Bruce, Lucius, and Alfred

At Wayne Tower

Bruce: *starring at his computer screen* If I buy this company, then I can buy a donut, and the cosmic donut will make me live forever, plus more profits, because three coffees plus one donut equals one Tim. *Lucius Fox knocks on the door* Do you want to build a snowman?!

Lucius: Mister Wayne, we need to talk.

Bruce: What is it Lucius?

Alfred: You’re overworking yourself.

Bruce: *looks up from his computer* Dad, I mean Alfred, Selina, what are you doing here?

Selina: No simple way to say it but this is an intervention.

Bruce: I don’t need an intervention.

Selina: Bruce, it’s been a bit over two months since quarantine began. You’re company is doing just fine. Don’t you think you deserve a break?

Bruce: With a little less help from Red Tim, I need to work as much as possible to get the cosmic coffee back on track. The hacker a few weeks back did a bit of damage.

Alfred: Master Bruce, even the Batman needs a break from time to time. Isn’t that the real reason you have Master Dick running around in the Batsuit instead of you?

Bruce: No! *Bruce takes a moment to think it all over* Partially.

Lucius: You are putting to much pressure on yourself. You keep on talking nonsense and are obviously sleep deprived.

Bruce: No! I’ve haven’t put enough pressure on myself since I became Batman. Once Batman came into the picture I didn’t focus on the company any longer. And I’m not sleep deprived, I’ve slept 4 hours last night! I’m getting more than enough sleep.

Lucius: You had more of an impact on the company then you think. If it weren’t for you acting as a real CEO, we wouldn’t be doing a going green initiative, there wouldn’t be a yearly fund going out to local orphanages, you created a functioning way for employees to work from home while increasing productivity. I can go on for hours about the positive things you have done as Bruce Wayne.

Selina: You have done so much. Come home, sleep. Enjoy time with you’re family.

Bruce: I can’t do that, I can do more. I can help other companies, too.

Alfred: I remember one time, it was when you turned 5, your father was supposed to be at the hospital. However, the day before he had worked all day to make his patients feel better, so he could spend the next day with you. He wouldn’t have missed your birthday even if it would cause the end of the world. Master Thomas knew the importance of taking time off to spend time with his family. It is time that you do the same.

Bruce begins to tear up. He reflects on how often his father worked day and night, but regardless how often he worked, he always had time for him and his mother. He knew his father loved him with all his heart. Then he thought of Alfred. He wasn’t really his father but Bruce always saw him as one after his parents died. Alfred loves him as much as he loves his own family. 

Bruce: *rolls his chair back and walks over to hug Alfred* Thank you Alfred.

Alfred: Anytime sir.

Batman, Batwoman, Batgirl, Red Robin, and Orphan

*In the Blackgate Batcave*

Batman: What did we find?

Orphan: The threads under Julian’s finger nails came from a string outside of the prison meaning that it could be one of the employees who’ve killed him. Skin cells under his nails are being scanned now, and white hairs were found on his body. Also cheese is not called goat sex.

Red Robin: WHAT! *Dick and Tim start laughing hysterically* 

Batman: Why would you think that!

Batgirl: Jason told her. That’s beside the point though.

Red Robin: *whispers to Dick* What did you do?

Batman: *whispers to Tim* I don’t know.

Batgirl: Stop whispering, we can all see you!

Batman: Got it. Kate what did you find?

Batwoman: Day was in an extreme state of paranoia before he died. Talks about how he was going to tell the D.A. about corruption in Blackgate.

Batman: Interesting, did he say anyone’s name?

Batwoman: It’s not clear, but I would assume so.

Batman: That makes sense. When Red Robin and I interviewed his cellmate, Drury Walker, he said he was starting to suspect something was going to happen. He had suspicions that James Jr. was going to kill him.

Batwoman: If I had to assume, I would say the same. I noticed a large sum of reddish brown hair at the scene where the body was found.

Batgirl: There was white hair found on the body though. With Day being strangled the killer would be close enough to possibly have a few hairs fall onto his body.

Batman: Do you have a sample?

Batgirl: Obviously.

Batman: Okay, I’ll program the computer to scan it. I know it’s not ideal but we’ll find out in twelve hours. Tim, Cass, and Kate, go update Commissioner Gordon. Babs, do you mind if we talk for a moment.

Batgirl: Sure, if you feel like doing so now.

Batman: *takes off the cowl and mask* What’s wrong? 

Batgirl: How could you not tell me Helena was staying at the mansion!

Batman: I didn’t want you to overreact.

Batgirl: How could I not! One of your ex girlfriends is sleeping under the same roof you are!

Batman: Look, this conversation is a bit more complicated than I anticipated so we’ll talk more about it later.

Batgirl: You know what, do yourself one better and just don’t talk to me at all. *Barbara places her mask back on as she storms out*

Red Robin: *sneaks out from behind a door* I swear I totally wasn’t eavesdropping, but that sounded like it could have gone better.

Batman: Yeah, it could have. *Dick than walks out pulling the cowl over his head and placing his mask back on*

Batman and Batwoman

Batman: *knocks on the door*

Hugo Strange: Hello Batman, Batwoman! How may I assist you?

Batman: We have some more questions to ask you.

Hugo Strange: Please, come inside!

Batman: How has James Jr. been doing in his sessions?

Hugo Strange: He has been doing very well! Obviously he had to spend a small period in solitary for killing his cellmates but he is getting better. If he is a prime suspect you may look into his files.

Batwoman: When did you two last meet?

Hugo Strange: Yesterday.

Batman: When did you two conspire the death of Julian Day?

Hugo Strange: I’m sorry, what are you talking about?

Batwoman: *grabs Hugo Strange by the shirt and lifts him* DON’T PLAY GAMES WITH US STRANGE! ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Hugo Strange: I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Batman: We saw that you transferred Day to Gordon’s cell! He has killed every cellmate he’s had! You were sentencing him to death!

Batwoman starts to shake Hugo Strange violently until a gun shot is heard from across the room. 

Batgirl, Red Robin, and Orphan

James Jr.: Hey Batgirl! I see you’re walking again, isn’t that such a neat surprise.

Red Robin: Shut up, James!

Batgirl: James, we want to know what happened?

James Jr.: ..........

Batgirl: Answer my question asshat!

James Jr.: Whoa little sis... I want to stay I was told to shut up!

Batgirl: Do you realize what’s happening?

James Jr.: I’m being interrogated.

Batgirl: You’re going to be transferred to Arkham. If you confess your time there could be reduced! 

James Jr.: Fine... I confess...... I cut open your teddy bear and filled it with razor blades when we were kids.

Batgirl flips the table and pins James to the wall, punching him in the head multiple times. Orphan then runs in, trying to help Red Robin to get Batgirl to stop punching James Jr.

Batgirl: Rot in fucking Arkham for all I care! You should have been sent there to begin with!

Batgirl, Red Robin, and Orphan begin to walk out the door before James Jr. lying on the floor yells.

James Jr.: WAIT! It wasn’t me, I promise!

Batgirl: Doubtful.

James Jr.: Red Robin, come on. I know you’re going to give me a chance. Hear me out.

Red Robin: Batgirl, let’s give him.....

Batgirl: NO! HE HAD HIS CHANCE! HE DECIDED TO WASTE IT!

Orphan: Batgirl. Please.

Batgirl: *stops in the hallway* Fine.

A few minutes later Red Robin is in the interrogation room with James Jr. with Orphan.

Red Robin: James Jr. Did you kill Julian Day?

James Jr.: No.

Off in the distance they all hear the gunshot from Hugo Strange’s office.

James Jr.: And there’s my proof.

Batman, Batwoman, Batgirl, Red Robin, and Orphan

Red lines flow down Hugo Strange’s face as blood pours from the hole in his forehead. Batman and Batwoman turn around to see who fired the shot, and are shocked to see Eduardo Flamingo. Batwoman drops the dead body of Hugo Strange as Flamingo fires three shots at both Batman and Batwoman. Both are unfazed by this and punch him in the face, causing him to fall back on the floor.

Batman: *picks up Flamingo* Who hired you?

Eduardo Flamingo: *cough* You just watched him die.

The GCPD arrives to the room and arrest Flamingo.

Commissioner Gordon: Freeze! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.

He had confessed to everything. The murders, the contract Hugo Strange offered him to kill Day. No details was left out. By the time they all left the prison it was 12:30 in the morning.

Batman: Batgirl, let’s talk. 

Batgirl: I don’t want to talk.

Batman: Babs, if you won’t talk, then listen, please? *tears start to fill his eyes and make their way down his mask*

Batgirl: If anything, you listen to me *tears streak down her mask as well* I don’t know where I stand in this situation, and right now I really don’t care! For the time being don’t talk to me. *she takes out her grappling hook and leaves the four other members just standing there*

Batwoman: I’m not going to get too involved in this, but you know if you need to talk Dick, let me know.

Batman: Thank you.

The two hug and then go their separate ways.

Dick and Barbara

When they got home, Dick reached for his phone and started to text Barbara. He tried to explain how he never knew Helena was going to show up. How she showed up out of nowhere. How she is his everything, his world, and he doesn’t blame her for being skeptical but he still loves her. 

Barbara doesn’t want to read a word of Dick’s excuses. This has happened before when Dick was dating Koriand’r and Zatanna. Even before they were in a relationship, she knew he at one point was seeing multiple girls at a time. She doesn’t know if he is really sleeping with Helena behind her back, but she knows that she can’t trust Dick for the time being.

After his shower he walked to his room where he saw Helena laying on his bed in her costume. She then tosses his Nightwing costume at him.

Helena: Hey Dick, how about you throw that on and we do a bit of role play.

Dick: Cool, I’m into that. I’ll be Nightwing, the guy who loves Batgirl so much, and you’ll be Huntress, who sleeps on the first floor. You’re going to leave my room and I’ll lock my door for the rest of the night.

Helena: Rough night, lover?

Dick: I told you to stop calling me that.

Helena: I know, but I love it.

Dick: Helena, please just leave.

Dick just lied on his bed staring at his phone, wishing that Barbara would text him back. Fifteen minutes later he hears a knock at his door.

Bruce: Hey Dick! Are you okay?

Dick: What is this? Am I dreaming?

Bruce: No. I heard what happened. Just know if you ever want to talk about it, you can come to me. 

Dick: Thanks Bruce!

Bruce: Want to watch Avatar as a family? Damian told me how you talked him into watching it. I think it’s a fun idea!

Dick: *smirks* Sure!

They both walk downstairs to the media room as they see everyone down there already. He noticed Helena was sitting at the far end of the room so Dick considered sitting by Tim and Stephanie who seemed to have been chatting it up, but decided against it and sat near Damian. 

Dick: *leans over towards Damian*

Damian: Don’t you even think about it Grayson!

Dick: *wraps his arms around Damian* Come on, you know you love my hugs!

Damian: I will cut off your arms in your sleep,

Dick: You’re so adorable when you think you’re threatening.

The episode begins to play and everyone fell silent. As the second one ended everyone looked at Cassandra and Damian to get their reaction.

Cassandra: That was awesome!!! Let’s watch one more!

Damian: It is surprisingly entertaining. A little silly but intriguing.

Jason: WE KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE IT SUCKER!

Tim: One of the greatest shows ever!

[bearhatarmy]

I really really miss photography. 

Photography feels like an old friend I’ve lost touch with. It pains me greatly that I just don’t have the energy or stamina to do it anymore. It really filled a creative void after I was unable to create my original comedy posts any longer. My illness keeps taking and taking from me and it is a challenge to find ways to adapt and cope.

The saddest part is that I felt like I was just starting to master photography as an art form. I was at that point where I could instinctively do all of the technical things and concentrate purely on the art. Lighting was becoming intuitive to me instead of a complicated puzzle I had to solve each time.

Yes, I took a lot of photos that I am really proud of. (Which I am spreading throughout this post).

But sometimes I mourn the photos I could have taken if my chronic illness hadn’t worsened.

It’s also hard seeing the new cameras and lights that have been released since I had to stop. I *just* missed a technological revolution. New features that would have allowed me to do more with less energy. To push the boundaries of my creativity. To get shots I could only dream of back then.

Full frame mirrorless cameras have opened up so many creative possibilities. The low light performance, the detail, the dynamic range--it has all been improved greatly in just a few years. But there are also many automated usability features that allow the camera to offload work and concentration from the brain. These new digital wonders can even be used as cinematic quality video cameras--something I would have liked to have explored.

I had to take these match photos in a pitch-black room, with a reversed lens, with no control over my aperture, and a manual flash. It took forever to time it properly because I had a whopping 3 frames per second. It would have been a cinch with a mirrorless camera, with super fast burst modes and an electronic viewfinder. You can see exactly what your image will look like before snapping it. But you can also “see in the dark” using a high ISO preview. Before you had to use a live view mode on the back screen. But on older cameras that mode was clunky and slow and... it just sucked.

Enlarge!

MOAR BIGGER!

Weirdly, one of the biggest advances is due to a shortened “flange distance” where the lens connects to the camera body. It seems like a small thing. Literally only a centimeter or so. But because of the lack of mirror, camera designers are able to move the lens closer to the sensor and design more advanced lenses with incredible sharpness. Combined with increased megapixel counts, that would have been amazing for my macro photos.

Electronic viewfinders take the guesswork out of exposure--even in bright sunlight where screens get washed out from glare. And being able to compose portraits with highly accurate eye-tracking autofocus would have been a tremendous advantage. 

No more “focus and recompose.” 

No more “Did I get the eye? Let me zoom to 100% on this tiny screen.” 

I could have spent more of my concentration getting natural expressions from my subjects and composing my photos without distraction.

And IBIS! 

I missed out on motherhecking IBIS!

This photo of my wonderful friend Erin was taken handheld at sunset. The original RAW version was extremely dark--even though I was using a high ISO. I had to do a ton of work to get this to not look like noisy garbage. But there just wasn’t any other way to capture it... UNTIL NOW.

IBIS (eye-bus/👀-🚌) or “in-body image stabilization,” allows the camera sensor to kind of... float. You can eliminate camera shake caused by the subtle micro-movements when handholding. 

How do I explain it? Ummmm...

It turns the sensor into a chicken head.

So instead of increasing the ISO (which is like a volume knob for light which gets grainier as you crank it), you can lower your shutter speed. In the past, depending on the lens, 1/60th of a second was about as slow as you could set it. With IBIS, as long as the scene you are capturing is relatively still, you can take photos in very low light without a tripod. This is great because tripods are a pain in the ass and you can’t always have one handy. Plus, you can combine an IBIS camera with a stabilized lens to get a de-blurrification multiplier. Then you can get sharp handheld photos that are technically considered long exposure. I’ve heard people say they got sharp photos exposing at several seconds. Literally going from a fraction of a second to 2 goddamn Missisisppi. I can’t even quantify how many fantastic photos are being taken right now that would have been unusable blurry messes a few years ago. We get to enjoy these photos all because they installed a chicken head inside cameras.

AND DARN IT ALL TO HECK I HECKING MISSED IT, GOSH HECKING DANG IT!. 

Sorry... didn’t mean to curse like a sailor that stubbed his toe while stepping on a Lego. 

I think I’ll have a cool refreshing root beer to calm my IBIS envy.

(Those water droplets are a total fraud, by the way. It’s fake blood without the red added.) 

And with the progress in battery and wireless technology, artificial lighting has become lighter and more portable while still being powerful enough to compete with the sun. I could have used strobe lights in my little studio, packed them up into a small case, and gone to the middle of the field to use them there.

Yes, I was able to convert my old studio lights to be “portable-ish” but we had to lug so much equipment to accomplish this photo of Brittany in the red dress. The battery pack alone weighed as much as one modern light. I was stuck in bed for a week afterward from all of the carrying of heavy gear.

Before that, this was my hacked together “outdoor” light. The Flash-O-Tron 3000. It looks cool but it was delicate and hard to get through doorways.

After charging 12 AA batteries overnight, I had to drag this contraption outside at the buttcrack of dawn to get my favorite photo of Otis. 

I had to use a handheld mirror to reflect my popup flash in the direction of the Flash-O-Tron 3000 to trigger it. It worked about 25% of the time. Oh, and I was laying on cold wet grass, manually tracking Otis--who refused to sit still. I had to line up a single autofocus point on his head for every snap. The concentration required felt like my brain was juggling chainsaws.

But guess what they invented last year?

PET. EYE. AUTOFOCUS. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 

A little robot inside the camera is all, “Hey, that’s your dog’s eye!” and just follows it no matter where your pup moves.

I NEEDED THAT SO BAD!

This shot took 10 minutes of me trying to lock onto his eye with a macro lens. The depth of field at that distance was the width of his eye and, again, he does not sit still. 

I want a time machine so I can go back and retake every blurry Otis photo. 

Also, many of the modern strobes have NO WIRES. You just stick a thing on top of your camera and you can set off lights several football fields away. My photo studio has tons of wires routed in the ceiling and coming out of the walls. 

[Hi-Res Version]

And then those wires all go into a weird analog remote with old school sliders that controlled the power of the flashes. But the sliders were difficult to finely adjust.

Now you can load an app on your phone and adjust the flash power digitally and adjust the brightness in 10% increments. You can save lighting ratios and recall them instantly. And you can preview your work with high powered LED modeling lights so you don’t have to take 50 test shots. 

No more nudging a light and taking a picture. Raising the power and taking a picture. Swapping out a modifier and taking a picture. Back and forth, back and forth. 

Essentially, what you see is what you get, so setting up lighting takes a fraction of the time and effort with these new lights and cameras. That would have been so helpful with my disability.

Oh... the lights are less expensive too.

The future of camera tech looks exciting as well. I think the computational photography that is in the latest smartphones will soon be added to more professional cameras. That is going to make high-end photography so much more accessible to anyone who wants to try it as a hobby. The learning curve will flatten further, and as long as you are creative, you will be able to take beautiful, high-quality photos.

Some might say that not having all of the new tech helped me gain important experience, expertise, and problem-solving skills. Some believe the inconveniences are a photographer’s trial by fire. The struggle makes the art more authentic. And since I learned how to do it the hard way, my journey is more valid than some photography influencer on Instagram with an iPhone.

To that I say... BULLLLLSHEEIIIT.

Those inconveniences just made me SUPER DUPER TIRED.

And some of those influencers take really kickass photos. Not all of them are butts either.

I love photography but there is a reason I had to stop. Like anything, doing it well was a lot of work. I always ended up having to quit taking photos much sooner than I wanted. I had to scale back my ambition to fit my energy requirements. I could only do photography on days when my body was cooperating fully. I had to cancel many photoshoots because the preparation was just too much to handle. And after my bigger projects it took me forever to recover.

GIVE ME ALL THE CONVENIENCES PLEASE.

That “you have to struggle” attitude is no-good-gatekeepy-ableist crap. 

Old photographer grumps are upset because they spent years learning how to focus manually on horseback and use the sunny 16 rule and develop film in a converted shed they built by hand and now “those darn kids” can use an iPhone on a skateboard while doing a kickflip with their eyes closed and still pull focus.

However, despite there being a lower barrier for entry, the technological improvements add new complications to the advanced side of things. So you can make photography as difficult as you desire if you are willing to learn new stuff. Which old school photo grumps are notoriously averse to.

This new tech has all kinds of novel things to discover and figure out. There is drone photography. There is advanced macro photography using robotic focusing rails and ever-improving focus stacking software. You can now network more lights together than ever before. Karl Taylor did a photoshoot with 12 lights! (Captain Picard would totally lose his shit.) Long lasting batteries and computerized sliders have created new timelapse possibilities. Stabilization software allows complex hyperlapse videos. Better low light performance and sharper lenses with big apertures combined with stacking or star trail software has improved astrophotography. Advances in material science have allowed darker and darker high quality neutral density filters for extreme long exposure photos. New focus tracking algorithms have allowed for wildlife photography that was never possible before. You can capture fast-moving birds in the sky from farther away and still get amazing detail. Faster burst modes allow people to capture split-second action. Never miss a good header at your kid's soccer games. (Is that a thing? I have no kids and don’t remember how to soccer.) IBIS allows photography without a tripod. So now people can trek to harder to reach areas, AT NIGHT, and take sharp photos with little noise. Increased dynamic range and new HDR displays will allow photographers to take images of lights and capture their actual intensity. What if the lights in photos could glow like they do in real life? Think about a neon sign at night in the rain reflecting in a puddle. That would look so neat. 

Not to mention learning how to process photos in editing software is an entirely separate and challenging skillset you can master. There are thousands of techniques you can learn to elevate your images. Dodging & burning, frequency seperation, and compositing, oh my! Programs like Lightroom and Photoshop are constantly updated with new features that expand possibilities.  

None of that is easy. It will all require diligent study and practice to master. Technical skills will always be an aspect of photography that anyone can pursue. But not everyone will need as much technical skill to start having fun and create art. 

And much to the chagrin of those grumps... phones are perfectly viable to create that art and they will keep getting better.

You might find it odd that this love letter and goodbye to photography has so much talk of technical gadgetry. But, for me, it isn’t out of place in this sentimental essay. Technology was my first love. My parents bought me a 66mhz Packard Bell computer when I was 12 and technology was the first thing I was ever good at. I learned every function of that machine. I would sometimes break it just so I could learn how to fix it. I took it apart and put it back together. It was my first true obsessive hobby. I found my creativity soon after, and I immediately used that technology to help me create art. I wrote comedy. I learned how to digitally paint. I recorded music. And eventually I found photography. It was the perfect marriage of technology and art. I could nerd out as much as I want while still getting my creative fix. 

So yeah... I miss it all. 

I miss all of the technical nerdery. I miss trying out new gadgets. I miss editing the photos I’ve taken. I miss taking pictures of my beautiful friends. I miss taking pictures of weird products. I miss asking Delling to call apiaries to find me freshly dead bees so I can take macro shots of their fuzzy little torsos.

I really hope some day I find a treatment that gives me enough energy to take photos again.  

Thankfully my writing helps me feel creative and productive and fulfilled. And it’s something I can do even if I’m not able to get out of bed. And I am grateful I have so many awesome people that actually want to read what I have to say.

So thanks to everyone for that. 

I always find a way to move forward. That’s just the nature of surviving chronic illness. But glancing back at what I lost is a pain I never quite get used to. 

Though, writing this has helped. 

Looking back at all that I accomplished has helped. 

And I do feel lucky I was able to accomplish what I did--even if missing it makes me sad sometimes.  

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Still Re-Watch and Review by @wdway

The wonderful @wdway recently did a rewatch of Still and shared it with me and @frangipanilove. I’ve gotten her permission to repost her very insightful observations. I hope you both enjoy it!

@wdway:

My review of s4e12 Still, written by Angela Kang, directed by Julius Ransay. I watched this episode with the commentary by Emily and Julius (E/J) and then the one with Norman and Angela (N/A), as I go through I'll talk about certain things including either one of these couples’ comments rather than go through the episode twice.

Even though I've seen this episode once or twice (that's me being funny) I did have a couple of ummmm moments that were interesting. The episode opens with a view of an abandoned car and the long road all lit by a full moon. 

Am I the only one that has always wondered about the lone figure crossing the road? The way it moves makes it obvious that it's not a walker, maybe it's just a nod to the fact that there are people nearby that our characters are never aware of.

Now for the car I'm going to show you two shots, the first is the car as B/D comes upon it. The second when they are climbing out of the trunk.

In the first one we see that both the engine hood and the trunk are slightly ajar but basically closed 

and in the second where we see B/D getting out from the trunk both the front and back of the car are completely opened. 

I had never really noticed that before and this time I realized that it must mean something, because everything has a meaning and it seems very deliberate now that I'm aware of it, I just not sure what that meaning is. Any thoughts?

After B/D strips the car Daryl looks at Beth in a dead stare. I have always thought that was him looking at her like "a dead girl.” He turns without a word (because she's dead) and walks down the road. Beth pauses and then follows, foreshadowing Daryl thinking she's dead and leaving her and her later moving down the road basically by herself and Daryl unaware that she's following.

We next see Daryl hunting and his arrow breaks, and he then kills a snake with his knife (not really Norman). You'll especially like this part @Frangi. Norman and Angela's discussion here, Norman mentions that the snake that was killed actually had a rat in it that it had eaten. We see Beth setting up camp and E/J laughingly talk about how during the shooting this scene Beth was refer to as MacGyver Beth.

We are then shown Daryl skinning the snake (that sounded dirty) Beth watching from afar. I don't know how many times I've watched this episode before I realize that this was again a possible foreshadowing of Daryl (TF) being watched.

B/D eating the snake, both E/J & N /A talk about how it was eel with teriyaki sauce and how Norman almost got sick from eating so much of it. We see Beth take Daryl's knife, this is the second time we see her take his knife, the first was in Inmates. She goes off alone and we see her hide from a group of walkers and mislead them with noise from throwing a stone (hear no evil) turning around Beth sees Daryl who has been watching from afar, again foreshadowing anyone? Another little note I missed above was that AK at one point talked about how it was Gimple's idea coming into the writing room for season 4 about the groupings after the prison fell to put Daryl and Beth together and how surprised the other writers were. To me, just emphasizing that Gimple had Beth and Daryl paired from the very beginning and knew exactly where he was taking the storyline with them. He left clues, eggs, hints behind so that when we went back and re-watched they would stand out to us, just like this shot of Beth where she has a dirty little smudge exactly where she is shot in 5e8 Coda, you know the one where her being shot was a last-minute decision. (Me being funny again.)

@frangipanilove:

Wow, I never noticed the figure moving across the street in the beginning of still. I had to go and see for myself, and you’re right, there is something there. No way to tell what it is though. I really have no idea. The part about the hood of the car being open is something I’ve noticed, and I don’t have a great explanation of it. Also, the dead body by the car has changed position during the night. I don’t know what tptb mean to communicate by doing so, but I feel that it’s sort of then underlining that this sequence is symbolic, that it’s sort of detached from realism. Sort of them saying that Beth and Daryl’s journey together is something out of the ordinary.

Oh, and something I came to realize while I was doing the tree/three/trunk post; the name of the golf club is “Pine Vista”. Pine is a type of tree, and vista means view, or looking at something. It’s an eye/vision reference combined with a tree reference. I thought that was interesting. I didn’t include it in the post because it was already long enough, but it shows how tptb consistently uses this type of symbolism around her.

It’s something I’ve thought about because in 6x15(?) Eugene mentions golf clubs when discussing the route to hilltop. Then a few moments later he says “serious as a coronary thrombosis”. So, a Sirius mention near a golf club mention. In my opinion it qualifies as a nod to “still” in combination with a Sirius mention, which means return/coming back. Also, the choice of the words “coronary thrombosis” is interesting, because 1) it could be a nod to “slabtown”, where we saw a machine that treats deep vein thrombosis 2) corona is one of the most well known brads of beer in the world 3) someone suffering from thrombosis/blood clots would be treated with heparin, right?

@twdmusicboxmystery: I’d noticed the figure crossing the road before, but I guess I always assumed it was a walker. Obviously, I never paid much attention to the movements. Now, it’s being coupled with a half moon. The open car hood strikes me less as an open trunk reference and more as perhaps a battery reference. I’m not sure about the movement of things either. I’ve never studied it in depth. I know when the camera first pans over the bodies, there are some obvious forehead injuries, and isn’t one of them laying with their arm out, the way Beth’s fell in Coda? But that’s all pretty obvious foreshadowing. I’m just now thinking that, plot wise, it’s the walker horde that moved everything around as they passed through and around the car. So maybe that has to do with what they’re trying to symbolize. Like, TF left her behind and when they went back after the horde had gone, her body had moved. Meanwhile, car, trunk, and hood open. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I always love when you bring up Eugene’s line from that episode, @Frangi. And I agree: no way the coronary thrombosis thing isn’t connected to Slabtown. That’s just too specific. @frangipanilove​: There was that Sirius mention when Beth and Daryl play the drinking game. I had somehow erased it from my memory, and had a real facepalm moment when that clip was released on social media the other day. It comes when Beth suggests that Daryl has been in jail. Then she says “I don’t mean anything serious”. It comes in combination with a mention of “jail” which actually qualifies as a cop/police reference (making it a “blue clue”), and that whole sequence became even more filled with symbolism. I already knew it was an important sequence, with the mention of pet ponies, frozen yoghurt, Santa clause etc. And with a Sirius mention in the middle of it, it just got more significant!

@wdway​:

Episode Still continued. Moving on to the clubhouse E/J talked about the scene that was cut out and how Beth didn't drink because of Hershel and the mention of the red cups. B/D goes into the clubhouse dining room, there are 3 people hanging. The fact that there is three now seems significant especially since I believe that there are 3 bodies in the dog Trot room floor.

Of the two women hanging one is in a green flowered shirt (Alpha green dress) the other has on pearls, which is odd since she's wearing very casual clothes. We will see pearls again with the rich bitch, I think these may be an ocean/water symbol since pearls are found in oysters in the ocean. I also want to note in the shot of the dogtrot room to the right a green bean can and towards the center on the top shelf is a tomato can.

Did I ever tell you that it was the clubhouse scene that made me realize water was a Beth symbol? We were discussing fire and how we believed that was a symbol for Daryl and the question was, was it also a symbol for Beth? I was thinking about all the fire extinguishers, the fire pulls in the clubhouse that were around Beth, when the light bulb came on that these are actually water or coolant symbols. Even though Beth is a water symbol, I believe she is also a single flame symbol, a small fire that can light a large fire. She is the candle flame at the end of a long dark tunnel, the single match that starts a shack a blaze in fire.

The reason that I bring up the fire pulls and the fire extinguisher is that I consciously went through and counted them in the clubhouse segment. At first glance, they don't appear to be a large number, but when you think in terms of for each one, they were seen multiple times in different angles with either one or both characters within a scene. There are 5 fire pulls, there are 3 fire extinguishers (one silver two red) a total of 8 (these numbers look very familiar) this is a large number when you realize that the club house scenes couldn't have been more than 10 minutes (another familiar number).

There's two other items that I watched for and counted in the clubhouse. We have seen them in the seasons after Still, but I don't think we saw them before. Tomato sauce cans and green bean cans. As far as tomato sauce, we see them instead of actual tomatoes because there wouldn't be a feasible reason to see tomatoes in this abandoned club house, but we can see a picture of tomatoes on the label.

Years ago, I followed a wonderful TD'er weburythedead (unfortunately he no longer posts) but back in the day he wrote about Beth and Daryl and tomatoes. He felt that we could group tomatoes and strawberries together as a symbol for Beth and Daryl because of the color, also their abundance of seeds a fertility symbol also both are quite sensual and juicy.

The green bean cans well what better remind than the white and green can with the word GREEN on it to help people to think of Beth Greene and we even heard and we Daryl refer to her as Greene later in this episode. Throughout the seasons, we're reminded that Maggie is a Rhee and that Beth is the only remaining Greene.

We see 4 cans of tomatoes and 5 green beans cans. There are also 5 cans where we cannot see the label but let's look at one of these that speaks to me and made me quite excited when I realized what I was seeing.

Daryl with a can with a green rim at the top and a red rim at the bottom. A can of Greene and Dixon haha.

In the closet where Beth reaches for a bottle of cooking wine there are 7 cans alone. 2 clearly are tomatoes, 3 visible green labels and 2 labels not readable because there at odd angles. Along with cans in the kitchen area and also remember there is a green bean and a tomato can in the dogtrot room.

We have seen a lot of tomatoes and green bean cans through the seasons. We've seen them in the AZ pantry. The last time I remember seeing the green and white can the label read, Chunk, but it's similar to the green can so much so that I don't believe it's a coincidence, especially since there is a grouping of candles on top with a single flame burning from each remember Beth = single flame. This was s8e7 How It's Gotta Be.

I have a few things to add before I close out the clubhouse review. These are things mentioned in the commentary that I want to point out. I will have a ramble about the commentary in general when I do part 3 of Still, that will cover the shack. AK said that Gimple is the one that wanted the dog Trot on the wall in the clubhouse. Julius said a lot of was discussed with the grandfather clock, the time and the correct number of chimes.

Something I forgot to mention the other day that happened at the beginning of the Still re-watch, Julius the director said the car that they used was a Lincoln Continental. @Frangi, it proves your car model skills are awesome! I also remember in the after bonus scene of TTD the director came on and mentioned it then also. Imo emphasizes that tptb wanted us to be aware of that car model.

This is in the shack I want you to notice the can on the shelf above /next to Daryl. I talked so much about cans last time I just want to point this one out, we don't see a label on it but since it's red it could be several things, another type of tomato, cherries, strawberry filling?

Then we have these two cans on the table. One we definitely know is a dog food can because that particular label has been seen other times and then the other the label appears to be torn off so we just don't know, but I want to emphasize the fact that in the shack there are 3 cans.

For this last segment I'm not going through the episode because we all know it's so well, instead I'm going on a long ramble about the commentaries. This was the first time in the series that tptb had dual commentaries for a single episode and we could talk about the importance of that, but I'll leave it for another day. I went into this moonshine shack segment review with a couple of questions I wanted to take a close look at and ended up finding side tunnels to my delight. Listening to both EK/JR and NR/AK commentaries back-to-back was the key to the main points I found. 1) that there were certain dialogue moments tptb wanted us to hear. 2) things they wanted reinforced by talking about them with their paired partners. I even wonder if part of NR/AK's commentary was stopped and later sound mixed in order that we would hear the dialogue in a scene. I first want to go over some of my notes from EK/JR that doesn't overlap NR/AK. JR talked about during the argument, it seemed that other members of TF were intimidated by Daryl but Beth didn't seem to understand that she should be intimidated. She was standing up for herself and calling Daryl out on his bad behavior and his feelings. JR talked about how 4 of the producers were crying during the porch scene. In particular, the part where Beth talks about her wish, her hope for how her dad would live out the rest of his life. Sometimes it felt as if JR was checking off a list of things he was meant to mention especially at the end when he said that there was a toy cycle and a real motorcycle somewhere in the yard and was a nod to Daryl's motorcycle. It just seemed as if he was trying to just get that mentioned and it came out a bit odd. JR talked about how Beth almost seemed resigned/come to terms to her death. This was when Beth says "I'll be gone someday," he used the word die or death I can't remember which. Both NR/AK and EK/JR had several mentions that were so similar to each other but I want to point out a few. I first watched EK /JR commentary, a reminder that we hear them but see the episode play without sound unless the commentary stops and then we both hear and see the episode. When it got to the part where Beth hesitates to take a drink of the moonshine, EK/JR stop talking. I paused the DVD to take a note and when I continued it was so long that I wondered if I had somehow turned the commentary off when suddenly they started talking again. I went back to check and it was a full minute and 29 seconds of dialogue that included, going blind, Daryl telling her to drink lots of water, (a water reference) the pink bra, and Daryl's old man's dumpster chair (a dumpster reference). Both the mention of water and dumpster never meant anything to me until I watched it this time.

[@twdmusicboxmystery: I have to insert here that I totally never caught that “dumpster” reference before. Linked to Glenn’s dumpster and how he survived his fake out, if you’re confused. Awesome catch! ;D Okay, back to @wdway.] If you are wondering if we heard the dialogue about moonshine making you go blind during NR/AK's commentary the answer is kind of. AK was talking and NR started to speak, and it just trailed off as Beth said her line and Daryl mentions "drink lots of water," and then Norman finishes his thought. This is what I'm mentioned earlier about maybe there was a sound mix by tptb because the way it trailed off just seemed suspicious if you realize that if he had continued his train of thought we would have not heard the comment about "moonshine making you go blind."

NR then talked about taking the turtle shell for Emily, which is strange because this is where Daryl is talking about his dad's place and how similar it is to this shack. The turtle shell story, while being very nice, just kind of came out of nowhere. I think he got ahead of his to-mention list. AK ask Norman if he had heard of Bethyl and he said yes, Bethyl, Caryl and Rickyl. On both commentaries the couple's stop talking in time for us to hear Beth say "serious." When B/D have their argument outside we hear the Michonne, Carol, Maggie speech. NR talks about the hug from behind and how it must have meant for Daryl to fill her supporting him. When the porch scene starts, Emily mentions the turtle shell and tells a short version of the story. During the NR commentary he again notes the turtle shell in the scene, which makes sense of mentioning it then because we can actually see the shell. A couple of things that EK mentions, we will hear mentioned again by either or both NR / AK. Emily says she loved the porch scene. Just 2 people talking. She spoke about that B/D were being honest during their talk. During EK/JR commentary we do hear Beth says, "I'm not blind." We don't hear it in the other commentary, but I think it was because of what AK was talking about ended up being more important.

Next, I'll jump in with what a AK's response to Norman's honesty statement (below). Just know that this takes up quite a bit of the scene of D/B including when Beth says "I'm not blind.” It really would have been noticeable if AK had stopped abruptly in the middle in order to hear Beth.

AK: "It's not comfortable for Daryl to be intimate with someone, not even romantically but in terms of sharing who he is because there is so much shame. Not so much what you bring to the character or how you've played him. Shame about who he was. There's something about Daryl that's so real and honest. He just is who he is and Beth is kind of the same way, so that even though they're different characters, there's sort of a core kindness and sweetness about them that they can just talk about their real feelings in this moment."

I just love this so much. This is AK defining Daryl's character and I feel she has held true to it through the seasons. We've seen and heard a restating of this especially the last two seasons. But this explains why Daryl will always love his friend Carol but that need of being who he is at his core, honest and kind doesn't align with Carol's guarded, driven way of being and I don't see his qualities being things that Carol admirers or truly understands. I think she sees these as weaknesses and not admirable. Bottom line is she cannot be honest with him. How many times have we heard him this season state that very fact? This speaks to his core, being honest with yourself and the people you care most about.

Connie has many of the same qualities as Daryl but we saw early in the season her asking him to lie for her group or at least not tell. It may seem on the surface to be a small thing but for Daryl, I think he would question if it is a one-time thing or not. It speaks of him not really knowing her Is he drawn to her for who she may remind him of or who she truly is?

I do want to point out that in both commentaries, they talk about the song that Gimple wanted at the end of episode. Norman tells the story of wanting a different song but doesn't go into why he wanted the song that he did. This review has taken much longer than I thought it would, but I hope I was able to uncover a few things that helps in our understanding of tptb and the characters we love so much.

@frangipanilove​

Loved your ramble! Totally agree with you, Daryl is honest to the core, wears his heart on his sleeve. And I think you articulated it beautifully when you said he doesn’t know if he’s drawn to Connie because of who she is, or if it’s who she reminds him of. And we sometimes disagree on Carol, but we’re in complete agreement when it comes to how awfully mismatched they would be as a romantic couple. It is only Beth that has been a romantic love interest for him. I am unsure of how far tptb will go in exploring the relationship with Connie.

However, no matter how they write it, I believe it will always be Beth for Daryl. The Connie situation is interesting though, because tptb HAS written a close relation between Daryl and Connie, and they have written it in a way that the GA will recognize as “potentially romantic”. Of course we, TD, also recognize that they have written Connie as a Beth proxy, so it’s all very interesting I think. But I’ve had enough of “interesting.” I’m ready for Beth now.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Thanks so much to @wdway​ for doing a re-watch for us and pointing out so many great insights. There were lots of things here I’d never considered before, or simply hadn’t thought about in years. Hope you all found something interesting in here!

[curator-on-ao3]

When @mia-cooper posted her fic questions, I read them over a few times and thought, “Yikes. That’s a lot to think through.” 

But, I did.

1. Best fic(s) you read all year, and why?

The runawaymetaphor oeuvre is sharp-edged satin. I’ve also read most of missparker’s works multiple times (start from the early stuff and work your way forward). And, of course, MiaCooper, the one who is asking the questions though she has so many answers.

Oh, and I didn’t want to mention individual stories for fear of missing an important one, but old fics deserve love and Deeds Done in Darkness is probably old enough to get drunk off its own excellence.

2. Best fic(s) you published all year, and why?

I don’t know. I love them in different ways. I’ve deleted a few I decided I didn’t like and am tempted to delete others, but I haven’t yet.

3. Favourite opening line(s) in a fic you published in 2019:

(Gah. Next question.)

4. Favourite closing line(s):

Telling them would ruin both stories, but my favorites are from The Halo Effect and Feels like Flying: A Modern AU of Threshold.

5. The fic that was best received, and your favourite comment(s) on it:

By hits and kudos, my top fic was Bad Ensign, a credit to the wonderful writers who expanded the Bad Ensign universe. So, my favorite comment includes the fics that made the original better, and begins, “OMG! I am studying for a huge certification exam next week and this fic (the whole series really) made my week and really gave me the motivation to study so I could reward myself with reading the fics.”

By bookmarks, my top fics were a tie between The Halo Effect and The Dismissed Protocol. 

I can’t choose a favorite comment on The Halo Effect. The story was so unexpectedly well-received that I wept numerous times reading the kind things people said (though much love to PoorQueequeg, who writes beautifully raw comments that I devour, and to @arcadia1995, who will try new things and tell me what she thinks).

My favorite comment on The Dismissed Protocol was: “I really enjoyed this story. It’s very intelligently written and well characterized. Crusher and Janeway together are a fabulous pair and you framed the ethical issues very well. I am still torn as to how I feel about the protocol but that’s because you framed the Dismissed Protocol in a very evenhanded way and that’s hard to do with such an emotional and private issue. Well done.” 

Also, when @caladeniablue​ started her comment on Shepherded Through the Looking Glass with, “This is a Tom-worthy ride of a story,” I nearly cried.

6. The fic you wish had gotten more love:

I knew when I wrote War Torn that it wouldn’t be incredibly popular. A Kathryn Janeway and Miles O’Brien buddy story during the Cardassian War? But, such is life and tying together a lot of loose canon (get it?) was rewarding, as was bringing to life the man I believe Captain Benjamin Maxwell to be.

7. How many fandoms you wrote for in 2019, and which inspired you most:

I really only wrote for Star Trek Voyager, but pulled in other Trek shows to get characters I wanted (Beverly Crusher, Miles O’Brien, etc). Voyager inspires me because we think we know these characters but we don’t. We have only seen them in a unique situation and their lives were different before and after their seven years in the Delta Quadrant. So, who are they really? It’s hard to say.

8. Your favourite pairing(s) to write for:

Ummmm. I enjoy Janeway/Paris. I’m the only one who has written Janeway/Barclay (and my favorite comments on those tend toward “well, that was a ship I didn’t know I needed” and, “huh, whaddya know, I ship it”). Janeway/Johnson makes me sad, but it’s important. It was a fun one-shot to write Gretchen Janeway/Owen Paris and, surprisingly, there were no other fics for them on AO3. (Also something I did not expect -- my A Long Journey’s Night was one of only three Kathryn Janeway & Kathryn Janeway stories in the archive.) But, in my heart of hearts, I believe what would be most likely is Janeway/OC, which is why I tucked that into the otherwise Janeway/Chakotay-heavy Section 31 story, Secrets, Secrets are No Fun.

9. What you’re writing now/next:

I’m working on another Janeway/Paris but I would like to shift into something else.

10. Writing goals for 2020 (word count? new fandoms/pairings? anything?):

I don’t know. Just to keep improving the craft.